You feed me and I feed you
My dinner from your childish spoon
You hold me tight as I held you
Wrapped within my womb
We knew we were before our birth
My soulmate and my own
One mother and her little boy
Try the world alone
You raised your voice to defend me
I have fought for you
Nothing ever came so close
to this new love as Truth.
Hello little bear, you're asleep now, but one day you will read this. "I know the thoughts I have towards you"...they would "outnumber the stars in the sky". I am writing some of these thoughts down.
Today we woke up in the morning and began reading books. Books before breakfast. ;) You were very happy about it and after I read about 10 of your favorite books, and reread a couple, you wanted more. Instead we got out of bed and you found a spoon and put it to your mouth as I made oatmeal with applesauce. It was a miserable day, for both of us, because of your new teeth trying to break through, and my conversations with certain Persons with Problems. But we made it through the day. You played drums with two spoons, and did quite a lot of exploration at the house. Under the bed, on top of the bed, onto the dresser (standing), up and over the couch...I could draw the bee lines for your movement like something out of the comic strip "Family Circle". Into boxes, opening and shutting flaps, throwing things out, smearing things, splashing in the toilet (I allow it when it's been cleaned thoroughly), watching things sink or float in the toilet (my maskara, my compact, a pen, a pencil, coins...), opening lids to jars and the new fun thing to do this week has been to feed mama. Tonight, at dinner, you fed me my dinner, and I helped you with yours. You were very careful to put the spoon in my mouth at the proper angle and experiment with depth (which is when I bit down on the spoon to prevent being gagged). Then you wanted to give me finger foods, and I complied.
You are helping me by stepping into your pants on your own, and today you took off your pull-up diaper. You brush your own hair and you don't mind using a toothbrush to do it!
You made many silly faces, and you were working on your tongue curls today, with laughter. When I curl my tongue or double-curl it, you laugh out loud...and...you're getting close!
If I were not a single mom, and had a break now and then, I wouldn't allow any movies or television until you're 2. But, I need breaks and you adore Barney and music videos. By music videos, I mean Mozart for babies.
The poem I wrote for you tonight (it's not very good-came out in 3 minutes flat), was/is about how you were feeding me today, and it made me think about your giving nature, how you give me spontaneous hugs and kisses, and kissed my belly this morning when you woke and blew raspberries on my knee this afternoon, and how you have also shocked and suprised me and others when you've raised your voice and yelled at someone (shocking and stopping them in their tracks) who was speaking harshly to me. The first time you did that, was months ago. You sense and respond to my emotions just as I try and have tried to do so since before your birth. I do think we have a special bond. I'm so proud of you and love you so much. You make quiet men laugh out loud, and you go out of your way to make others smile.