Thursday, February 5, 2009

Images & a Bad Feeling

I'm a little pissed because I didn't write down some images that came to my mind in the last two days but it was hard for me to get to my computer sometimes.

The phrase from Song of Solomon (I think) "I am my beloved's and he is mine" kept coming to my mind but in an inspired way and I wanted to write something out. I think I have the passage right, but I don't know. It just kept coming to my mind for some reason and then I would feel like crying and emotional.

I think I'm going to check that verse, but I know I've lost the "moment" for that image though it's still with me, the poem for it, I feel, would be difficult to recapture.

The other strange thing was that in the last few days, I kept getting this very bad vibe or "energia" and I didn't know where it was coming from exactly. I told my boyfriend, I don't what is wrong, but something is very, very, wrong. One day I felt someone had died, and it was the same feeling I've had before finding out someone HAD really died.

I started crying even and he was like, "what's UP?" and I told him, "No se. Hay mucho malo energia's y energia's differentes orrita." I could sense something but I couldn't my finger on it exactly. It wasn't depression or anything, or anxiety, but I knew something was wrong.

I thought, maybe I'm picking up on a bunch of different things, not just one thing, but it was intense and it had nothing to do with my emotional state. I've had this sort of feeling or intuition before, and things DID happen or were happening and I'd find out about it later.

For example, I had this feeling before the car crash which killed my friend Mike, wherein I broke my neck. I had the same feeling right before finding out another friend had died. Other times, I find out something else that is bad is happening. So I didn't know what it was for sure, but I felt a bunch of different things were wrong. I asked him if he ever felt that way? he said no.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

cameo
would you consider coming back to our house in Or?

Mama said...

i think i know who this is, but i'm not sure.

i really have to see my son. this is foremost in my mind.

the second thing is that too many bad things happened in the pac. nw. i wouldn't want to live where i was first harassed, stalked, had multiple car vandalisms, burglaries, and defamation by the willamette week.

it is beautiful, so beautiful and i say good things about the area--everyone out here wants to go back west!

it's such a wonderful area, for being so small...portland suited me in a lot of ways but it's also a very small "big town". multi-generational and just problematic after you've lived there a while.

i still like it for the arts and culture it offers, and ideas, for such a small place. and it's pretty!

if this is the house i'm thinnking of, i also loved living with you guys! was so much fun, those days, and with our neighborhood dinner parties.

love you, if this is who i'm thinking of!