bracelet for Oliver--and the BIZARRE TOWN

I'm getting my son a bracelet.

I had the idea to go to shoe shops and see if they could cut leather. One said he could and the other one is closed. I took the one bracelet and he did a nice job. At American Leather Shoe Store. I felt his work ended up looking pretty good.

I thought I would go a couple other places too and then give my son the option to choose for himself which one he likes.

I don't know how I'll adorn them but I'm thinking of different ideas.

I think he'd like something fun, and kids at that age like novelty and cartoon stuff. So I want it to have meaning like his name and mine but also something fun. I am not settled on this one though.

I took it, because free is a good price! and it looks good. But I want to look at other ideas as well and then let him decide.

I'll pay whatever, just want to find the right thing.

There are a couple of other options I'm keeping my eyes on.

I might bead together a bracelet if it's boyish enough, or braid one somehow. I like the idea of making one on my own with some time and effort and craftsmanship.

If I just take one that is pre-cut, then have it stamped, I've done nothing to it myself or on my own to add to the meaning. Which is why I like the idea of making something entirely by hand, from start to finish. I feel that this way, there is more of my own energy that is put upon it, from start to finish, rather than having absorbed energy that belongs to someone else.

I was upset that this one guy showed up while i was in the store, but the thing is, maybe he was doing me a favor by chasing me out of there. I don't know. I don't like being stalked though. And it's not that I am not interested in other practices or psychic stuff--it's that when there are other things attached which don't feel right, then it's not right. So that's just how it is. I am not into infatuations where someone is not respectful.

So I am sort of thinking about making a bracelet all on my own, with raw materials. I like the idea of a braided one, or with some beads and maybe thomas the train. how in the world to get thomas the train, or toy story, or bible ideas, or all these things he likes, into one bracelet. I have no idea.

Maybe I should make a fun bracelet and then also do a fun pillow or collage type work of art to have framed with sentimental pieces in it. I think it would be fun for him to have a framed thing with photos and sayings and parts of song lyrics and verse, and then add cartoon stuff and my own art as well and put it in a glass frame. Basic collage art but with other things. I guess art-collage-scrapbook but hopefully more cool than scrapbook.

There was so much drama surrounding this piece of leather I have now that I am not really comfortable with it. I don't know what all the fuss was over and it makes me reluctant to pass it on to my son. I like having pieces that are free from drama.

I wanted to go back just to prove I could, and take something that I had in mind without worrying about all the weirdness other people are putting into something. So I did, and I picked it up.

But that doesn't mean I'm giving it to my son and there is a difference!

Just because something is free doesn't mean it's doesn't cost anything or that there is something good about it. Free is a good price but some things one wouldn't want in their house, even for free. So I will wait it out and see what I think.

I have to say, I am really not very happy right now, about the whole vibe in the town in general. It's obnoxious. To say the least. And then this guy on a motorbike came over and parked in front of the cafe where I was at and just not good vibe. It was like a cocky show and all these people...I am not kidding, this town and turned into a fucking zoo. Why join the circus? I don't need to. I live in Wenatchee and the circus is fucking moving in and organizing all on its own.

That guy on the motorbike? wouldn't trust him with a flagpole. Or the people he sidled next to either. He was doing some really weird stuff. I know when I know. It was a huge Catholic showdown is what I'm getting out of it. Like it was made into this big religious thing. I noticed some Jewish stuff too, a little bit, so possibly it was just a diffeent kind of group maybe, but it was mainly religious.

How do I know this? I just do. It's one of my talents. Knowing things.

What I know is that th people who care about my son the most and about me, were not part of this. It was a huge religious thing. Which is really sort of sad.

I also had the burning stuff going on for awhile so that was really cool too. That was happening until the guy on the motorbike took off.

Umm, yeah, my son is not getting that bracelet. Everything that has surrounded the last few hours is not cool.

I know when something is not right.

Unfortunately, I have a lot of fuckers playing a lotto and riding a lot of their decisions on stupid things like this. It is one thing after the other. If these people can't be psychic themselves, they do really bizarre things and put their money and life decisions on stuff.

I swear this town is so not normal.

This is one town where the law is not the law anymore and superstition takes over everything and even takes over reason. It's like there is no balance. They are either 100% gossip and superstition and nonsense or...well, that's almost it. There is no balance at all with logic and reason and how to balance the other things and keep it in perspective. You don't run games with people, you don't base decisions on game-y things or psychic stuff or witchcraft or religion. Those things are an enhancement to following the law and to sound reason.

This is kind of why the town got itself into the big sex ring scandal--because they allow others to take a very very small thing and they BLOW it up into something huge. HUGE. And it's a small town. It is not like a big city, which is, I think, why this kind of thing gets out of control--because it is easy to control things here.

It seems random, but it's all about control.

And in a town like this, it is much easier to control things than you would think. There have been a few quirky things which I've seen happen, just normal quirky and some random and surprise, but some of it is coincidence too.

But much much more is about control.

What appears to be random isn't really random and the larger your base group is, to make things happen, the greater the odds are that you will suceed.

IF you are not on the winning side of things to begin with, it doesn't matter how miraculous things are, there is very little chance to get ahead because someone is always bigger and better and has a lot more money.

And, where there might be potential money or other kinds of stakes riding on something, the more the monied will always have a serious interest. Some will prove what they can, for money, and others to try to prove something else--political power or religious power...or psychic power, whatever.

I will give some examples, just using myself for an example.

I have been followed, surveilled, read up on, psycho-analysed, and even examined in court and in medical offices, since I was a kid.

It mainly got worse later in life. Not everyone knew who I was before but after I made an appearance in public litigation, all of a sudden, it was like something happened. I was really being followed, large-scale then.

I had some strange things happen before, but I really had problems after meeting some monks and then going to court over things. Then my photo was being taken with large lens cameras and I was photographed in restaurants, everywhere. And no one knew where the small bit of brain came from, who never went to a private school and managed to put forth solid legal claims.

Who has done the psycho-analysis and personality testing and typing and then even wanted my I.Q.? results?

Ummm...Sorry, but I don't think I am just your average everyday "target" who has random things happen to her. Much of what happens to me is planned and planned by those who have the most money.

I have had some of the craziest scrunity that anyone could ever imagine, and that was before I ever had a blog or was infamous or known in any way.

I dated people who had money and they could hire the best p.i.s if they wanted to. I was tracked and had people getting me to take all kinds of personality tests, not just myers-briggs, but even getting records from eharmony when I took that test (which is actually very extensive and they kick you out or don't allow you to date if you're not up their 'standards' which are somewhat rigorous).

Not only did I date men with a lot of money, but with position, and who knows, really, what some of them did for sure...I don't even know.

All I know is that I went from being scrutinized when I was a child, but being left alone in general, to suddenly almost treated like a celebrity (with none of the protections). It was the first time people didn't even hide the fact that they were following me and that started in at least 1998 or a little after this time.

Then, I really did have all of these people ask me 101 questions all the time. My whole family history, down to trade and what all of my friends from grade school-on were doing. I was asked to take quizzes "for fun" when they were actually not just for fun but were personality quizzes. It wasn't my family doing this. My own family wouldn't care to ask 101 questions about all of the movements I'd made my entire life and who my parents were and my grandparents and my aunt and uncles and cousins and what every single one of them did for work and how much money they made and what their interests were and if they were married and where they were employed.

Then, on top of that, I was asked to take real tests and share results. Then, I had hackers studying all my computer and online search habits forever. Between being followed around, photographed, and having my online activities monitored illicitly (or not) for over 10 years, I would think that there is probably a certain group that might have a little more money than most, that would have an enormous advantage in predicting what I would do in any possible circumstance or environment.

THEN, of all things, I have the fucking State of Washington taking my own son and trying to tell me to take an I.Q. test.

Right.

Like parents are asked to do this. The fact is, they're not. I talked to a lot of psychologists throughout the State of Washington and then outside of this State. It is patently UNHEARD of, for the STATE to request a parent take an I.Q. test.

The ONLY time it is ever done, is if the parent seems so mentally delayed, it is unclear as to whether they have mental capacity to even intelligently raise kids. And usually, if someone is mentally retarded, this is known in advance of childbirth. It is sometimes done if a parent goes from normal intelligence to a major accident or stroke where they are so impaired as to be unable to speak or think coherently any longer.

So WHY then, did the State of Washington and other "interested" parties, want me to have an I.Q. test done?

It had nothing to do with my parenting or whether I was normal intelligence to parent well. What it had to do with, was a continued pattern of INVASION of my personal privacy for the sole purpose of giving other groups better leverage over me, one way or the other.

They had a zillion personality tests from me. A whole file of my online search habits. Years of surveillance and informants about my personal habits. Wouldn't it be really great to get an estimate on her "I.Q." too? because then it could be used against me one way or the other and they might have a better idea of my strengths and weaknesses in order to ply with me more.

Not even ONE psychologist thought it was even close to normal, to have me take an I.Q. test for the STATE of FUCKING WASHINGTON and the fucking U.S. It wasn't for the entire U.S. though, just a marginal group that tried to convince others, including my parents, that it was in my best interest. When all they really wanted, was to discover new ways of working at me.

And what did they do? sure enough. The I.Q. test I took, which I did against my will and only to try to comply to get my son back, when it went against my very grain and I protested...evenn when I fudged a little, hoping to come out even enough, just the fact that it was NORMAL was something the State and the Judge tried to use against me, claiming on one hand that I was nuts but "smart enough" to be pro se. I was told, "There is nothing wrong with your I.Q. test so you are competent to represent yourself" and this was used as an excuse for refusing to give me a lawyer.

So I was "crazy" but I was "smart crazy". Right. Too crazy to raise the children of countless families as I had been doing all my life (and that is holding a straight job, through all those years, in ONE specific field--child raising and child development and that is ALL I did and yet I've been accused of not holding down a job when I never digressed from my main occupation, which was with children).

So, too crazy supposedly, to have my own child when I'm no different now than I was all along and only started blogging about things. And yet, "severely mentally ill mom" (who they still defame because they do NOT have a diagnosis and couldn't get their own state paid psychologist to claim I was diagnosable) was supposed to represent herself because she was "smart". The only mental illness was that of being traumatized by all of this, which made it impossible to represent myself. Even moreso when people are stealing from me and setting me up left and right.

So I say all of this, to say that if it was impossible for me to get ahead, when you gang up enough people against you, that's how it turns out. And no matter how complicated I may be, if I still do not win even on the psychic front, it isn't because I'm dishonest.

I don't beef up any of my claims. But I strongly suspect there are some who want to win solely to claim they have God on their side.

And for no other reason than this. Because if you really do have God on your side, you don't have to win through collusion, cheating, pooling a lot of money, stealing, and torturing people. You also don't have to obstruct justice and lie and set people up. It's not what one resorts to, if God is on ones side. If God is on your side, you allow the truth to stand on its own.

You don't have to prop it up and hide it with huge numbers of people and cash.

You don't have to intimidate families and threaten them and then block mothers from making audio recordings to prove what the content of the visits is. If God is on your side, you don't have to lie and cover things up. I was served with termination papers, by a man who was told to wear a tee shirt that said "truth" on it. And yet the whole truth was covered up in the entire process of the case with my son. I was set up even while I was still in Canada, and my family lied to. If God is a God of "truth", as I do believe is true, you do NOT go to great lengths to conceal the truth--if I am a good mother, I am. Plain and simple. You allow the truth and the facts to speak for themselves--you don't block mothers from having a defense and showing what is going on.

Sometimes, these things almost have to be done, for those who have God on their side but are outnumbered with huge numbers of people who don't care what the truth is, as long as they are right.

The more I think about it, the more I believe this whole thing comes down to corruption and religion.

I had people trying to set me up on the East Coast and then over here too. I think that there are good and sincere people in every religion. But there are also some who are fringe fanatics and have to be right no matter what, and also those who are corrupt.

When it comes to the psychic stuff that is more recently been in the forefront here, this is why, with my background, I take a lot of things into consideration because I am not easily fooled. I know when things are staged to look incredible or random and yet they're not. I know when large numbers of people are coming into play and I've always known very large sums of money have gone into harming me and my son and keeping us down and paying people off.

I am not deluded into believing all those who claimed to be helping me were really trying to help. I know some in the U.S. have had their own ideas about what forces are at work in my case, and the opinions are similar but also different from the UK ideas and other countries ideas. Some from the UK have said it is politics but primarily religion that has been driving me into the ground. Others have thought it was something else. Some have said a couple of relgious groups maybe but for different reasons and with different motives. And then others have simply said "large, powerful groups" and left it at that, afraid to say anything more than this to me. Some have hinted at a lot of, at least more recently, military involvement. But there are good military and there is bad military. Just as in religion. There is good and bad in every religious and military or government group.

This to say, I am really tired of not being compensated for my time and what I am worth. Things are turning around a little bit and for that I am thankful. I truly am. But there is still so much more ahead and it concerns me, that not enough is being done yet. Certain people are going above and beyond call of duty. And then a few others, who are the influential cruxes of the matter, have been immoveable.

With all of the drama, I want my son and my career back.

My career was with children. I went to college, but all of my work experience is with kids. I stayed in the same field, except for one or two stints in the office. That's it. Ever since I was 11 years old, I worked with children. I worked for kids who came from different backgrounds, and a variety of religious and non-religious backgrounds too.

The State of Washington is immediately responsible for screwing up my means of livlihood. ALL of my work experience, except for a little office and waitress work, was with kids. Of all ages.

Prior to the State taking my son, I was getting information for opening up my own small and private daycare with a learning emphasis. My work experience supported this. And then I had my own child and did the best job with him.

The State, and people who have positions with the State and other groups too, have intentionally destroyed this.

I have not only had someone take my son, but try to take my reputation and my career as well. And then bring in people to try to top the psychic stuff. As if all the other crap wasn't enough.

At first, it got the attention of normal people who are also into psychic things and then it became a fucking contest on even that level.

Seriously, when have the fuckers had enough?

This is why I get pissed on a day like today where I sense all the gaming, and people are all over my ass again and following me everywhere and I suppose I made the stupid mistake of encouraging some of it by bringing some things up.

But it has been very strange.

There are these little "doubles" running around town and doing odd things, like the blond woman with her cop and her double, and then others who are not just simple people, but are frickin' moving in or have been imported for a go at things.

My piece is to say that if the bad ever win and win anything against me or my son, it is not going to be on fair grounds. Because those who are for me and my son are very good but also outnumbered and outresourced and then of all things, money and position and resources aren't enough, they have to buy in their own 'psychics'. Good heavens.

If at any point we come out on top it is because God finally got through. To someone, somewhere, who has authority, and says, "fuck you" to those who have continued to hold me or my son down. Or somehow, someone is very blessed that is able to make a difference. I am still thankful for the honest and dedicated people who try. Already gave my thanks in that regard the other day.

I think there are some phenomenol psychics and cool stuff out there and I enjoy it, but yeah, it would be more "fun" if I had some normal things going on and had small compensation, and most of all, my son. I think it is probably good for my son to have people around him who are able to help right now. There are some times when my son has looked really good.

But that's all.

I guess I am back to not divulging things that I get or am thinking or not anymore. The only thing that seems safe is when I know it's something for someone, about their life to encourage them or speak to them, or the random book thing. No one can control that (the random book selection stuff).

Anyway, God bless all of you, really, from all of the various backgrounds, who are just trying to be good people and make a living and have a happy family life.
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Oh dear no. This woman just drove by scratching her back as if she is under psychic attack. Oh, and now she's coming in. Hmmm. 906 YOZ. Washington plates. And she knows the men in an SUV already parked--133 WUQ. I'm only interested bc if she is someone who would imitate psychic attack stuff to me and then nod off to them, it makes me wonder. It's a silver audi station wagon and she just sort of waved me off snidely. There was something about that woman in particular, the blond in the station wagon. I don't know her and I could care less about her, except for the fact that she had such an interest in me so this says to me, I offended someone she knows, she is related to someone who knows me, or she is or was a girlfriend. She looked triumphant in some snese, so this woman obviously feels she has won something or is happy about something. Which might indicate that at some point, she has either been jealous of me or lost something, she THINKS, because of me or someone she cares about has. 331 EHN Oregon plates. I don't know who the Oregon people are, but this vehicle has passed by several times and something not so good. There have also been a lot of New York plates today for some reason. A lot. Like people not just from New York, but came all the way over here in their vehicles to be in...Wenatchee?

I wasn't having any of that happen at all. She frickin' drove by slowly, glaring, and then decided to come in. I don't believe I've had anything to do with a psychic attack on anyone before, bc I don't wish or will these things to others. If it happens to me, I will it or pray it returns to sender and that is it. I never initiate attacks of any kind, on anyone.

One time though, when the monitor Anne was saying this about my son, I prayed it to her instead of me or my son and it really happened. She got very uncomfortable and then GLARED at me. I said nothing. I didn't pause in my playing with my son at all. I tried to incorporate praying while I was also playing. So I didn't stop at all.

The other monitor lied in her reports a lot, but she never did any of the psychic stuff or it never
happened when we were in visits with her. With Anne, it did occur. And then Anne acted pissed if I threw it back to her.

322580 Wenatchee police officer just drove by

The other day it was really strange--I had the intuitive feeling or knowledge that people had swapped cars. A lot of people were in cars that were not their own. It wasn't just a few people either and I somehow knew, without a doubt. Which is strange I guess. How did I know and know I was right? I don't know. I just knew, without a doubt. I guess that was to throw people off if I wrote down plates and the description didn't line up, but still, why risk exposure at all? I mean, do you want total assholes driving your car and getting blamed for it? I'm sure it happens all the time, the swapping. But there was a LOT of it yesterday!
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I guess I will try my random book thing and then call it a day.

I'm curious to see what I get tonight and need to destress. There is a lot going on today.