About Bipolar

I looked up info about Bipolar and think it may fit characteristics of a couple of people I've known, and maybe the guy who says he thinks he is, might be. It sort of makes sense.

I reaffirmed it doesn't fit for me personally, even though I've had that one tossed out in speculation as well.

You have to have serious shifts in state of mood, which I do not. I don't go from being happy to depressed. I very, very, rarely get depressed, and when I do, it's for good reason.

The guy who "diagnosed" me as "Narcisstic" (which was wrong), also wrote he believed I'd had a Major Depressive Episode, which I also disagree with. From what I've read, a Major Depressive Episode can only be right if the mood change is not BETTER accounted for by "Bereavement" from an actual, very serious loss. And, the time which I experienced this depression, it was after what the monks at the Abbey did to me, after pretending to be my counselors for over a year, and then slandering me to cover themselves and even taking it to lawyers and police for their own selfish defense. That was a definite "loss" in the sense I not only lost my counselors, but I was in such a deep shock that anyone who claimed to be so close to "God" and who read the Bible and knew about the principles of right from wrong, could do such things. That was loss of faith, which is a huge thing, and once I realized no one was ever going to correct the wrongs, I became depressed for awhile. Which is normal, and not a biological "episode".

My only other time of "depression" was after I had been continually harassed for years, and then was also refused treatment for my migraine disability, which led to the attempted suicide. That wasn't biological either. It was a depression which resulted directly from the heinous actions of others.

When they took my son away from me, I also experienced depression. It was not an "episode"--it was directly related to trauma incurred by the actions of others, which harmed not only me, but for which I was aware directly harmed my son.

I don't fit any or all of the criteria for bipolar.

I can recall certain doctors trying to claim I rambled, or had "pressured speech", or that I talked fast, but I've always talked fast, even as a little girl, and if anyone is up on their pyschology, the ability to express ideas at a quick rate can also indicate that person is not censoring their thoughts before speaking, and it can also be an indicator of above-average or higher intelligence. Which is where we get the converse insult from as well: if someone is "slow" (in any way, even in speech), perhaps they are not the brightest. Basically, some of these doctors, if they can't process rapid speech, and keep up intellectually, they should probably get ready to retire.

I think some have also wanted to account for my creativity with bipolar or manic-depressive. But there is a difference between bipolar and inspiration, and there is a fine line. Also,not all artists create when they are inspired, and sometimes they attempt to create when they are NOT inspired. The level of productivity in creation does not always correlate with an inspired state, or, for the bipolar, with an "aggitated" or "elevated" state.

I think I've proved, well enough, that I do not just write in spurts. I write all the time. There would be more serious gaps if were writing of a compulsive nature or if I had "down times".

That said, there is nothing wrong with being bipolar either. Well, at least it's treatable. But some of the best creators and intellectuals, and some of the brightest and best have had this disorder. It's damaging when it ruins lives or causes unhappiness in the person who has the disorder.

As for me, no, I'm just an outspoken bitch that the detractors wish they could pin a mental illness on. I don't put up with their bullshit, and if I were a man, it would be no big deal. But for a woman to challenge the status quo, and question the level of intelligence or sincerity of those in control, she must be "histrionic", or, in earlier times, they dismissed the activism or upset of a woman as "hysteria".

Oh, you have to have impulsive spending sprees, sex, or other things too. And it cannot be otherwise accounted for by drugs, alcohol, or substance abuse or anything. Well, not always perhaps, but it's one of a list of 5 things you have to have in order to have the diagnosis.

Hmmm...I'm still thinking...Now about this guy...I think maybe this one really does fit him though. Of all the criteria, he might match this one. Which is going to make it really hard to quit drinking unless he also tries some kind of stabilizing medication.

He was still on the wagon as of yesterday, but started shaking and got upset about something very small, and usually, he would drink or smoke to calm, but he just left, disturbed.

I don't think he'll be able to stay off of the bottle unless he's on medication. I think part of his use of alcohol is for medication. Also, he said he was really bored. He wasn't drinking. It IS boring sometimes, everything, without a drink. So then you have to find other things to do though to engage your mind. He just sat there, for hours, drinking coffee. It can't be that much fun after awhile, without the buzz of alcohol making even boring conversations somehow seem hilarious and piquant.

He said he needed more work too and went off about that. I think he needs to go on medication first, but I just said, instead, he should fill out a FAFSA. He didn't know what a FAFSA was. He's smart enough to do very well in school, and used to be a big reader, but I don't think it will happen unless he's on medication and goes to college or art school or something. His mother thinks he would be a good lawyer, and he does have a gift of persuasion and can be very articulate. But it will never happen if he's not on meds first.

He's tried stuff for ADHD, but maybe needs to try stuff for bipolar. It might help. He can't afford it right now, is the problem, and he seems too proud to ask for assistance from the state. Anymore, I don't blame anyone for not wanting to seek assistance from the state, after what I've been through. Mabye his family can pool resources together. I can't imagine they wouldn't want to try paying for an office visit to a psych and then for a prescription, since they know what he's been through and what he's like after all the years of living together.

If they can't afford it either, maybe his only option is to go to the state, or maybe there's a clinic or mental health place that wouldn't make you get insurance to receive free assistance.