music & thoughts tonight

"this side" by nickel creek is absolutely beautiful. switched over to my alison krause and bluegrass.

80s music distracts me to dance (not a bad thing bc i love it) and this type of music makes me sing. emmylou's "a love that will never grow old", one of my favorites, mary chapin carpenter's "stones in the road" is one of my favorites to sing and the lyrics are stirring. "jolene" by dolly parton makes me feel guilty for having red hair and green eyes. Patty Loveless' "never leave harlan alive" is a masterpiece but frightening. trisha yearwood's "i would've loved you anyway"--classic,and krauss's "come to jesus." Cox's "broken engagement" is sort of interesting, for me now! it was recorded the year i was born (1974). like lyle lovett's "promises" and is maybe one of his best vocal performances. like "troubled fields" for nanci griffith's songwriting and quiltmaking voice. i like sara evans "i could not ask for more" for my memories of working with sara before she was a star (i am so proud of her and we shared similiar obstacles with breaking through some family constraints. she did it. i can also attest she is a very down to earth, normal, and good hearted woman and was a pleasure to work with. we were stacking fucking cassette tapes and cds together. hahaa. the day jobs of the trying musicians. some of us make it. i should have agreed to be her assistant! could kick myself for missed opportunities. she was driven and knew what she wanted and what she had, and she went with her husband to nashville).

"he thinks he'll keep her" by chapin carpenter. i like the clip on her music, by a lastfm writer: A number of Mary Chapin Carpenter’s songs speak to women, urging them on through hard times or troubled relationships. In “He Thinks He’ll Keep Her”, co-composed by Carpenter and Don Schlitz, the singer makes the case for strength and self-respect.

i first heard chapin carpenter when my family lived in wilsonville, oregon, in the country with a ton of horse farms and equestrian stables and land. we lived in my favorite setting, of the houses i lived in growing up, in a valley, sort of, with hills surrounding and we had a small pond in front of the house and the house had full windows and a view of the water, which i loved. i wouldn't let my dad tear down this rambling falling apart shack that was covered in ivy, across from the pond, because i thought it was wild and pretty. took black and white photos of different angles. former owners had owned a garden business and were master gardeners so there were all kinds of varieties of trees and flowers planted. i liked the golden-chain tree. there was a small waterfall too. and then above the house, over the hill, was our horse barn and pasture. i didn't mind feeding the horses but wanted to try riding more, but my mother had them trained english (dressage) style and didn't want me to touch them. i was run through a few apple trees and nearly off of a cliff and stepped on the foot by a heavy hoof, too, so i had admiration and fear of horses. i used to go up and just brush them though. but mary chapin carpenter songs remind me of being in high school in 1990-1993. my neighbor would give me a ride so we didn't have to take the bus and she played chapin. i hated country then and thought it was country and then it grew on me. i remember drivintg to school with "sometimes you're the bug" playing and the rain coming down and windshield wipers flashing back and forth. it makes me think of green hills, clover, horses, rain and country roads, and the smell of pines. then i sang her songs in the music room (the "studio"--a padded room, haahaa) which was in the barn. my dad would practice playing piano and guitar in the studio and i would go there and sing and record ideas on a tape recorder. i was always sad my parents sold that house. i liked the scenery so much.

like gillian welch's "elvis presley blues"...didn't he die??? allison moorer's "soft place to fall" makes me think of everything in gold and yellow and cream colors in contrast to military camp or something. like a small room with a large landscape of imagination.

haven't heard patty loveless's "pretty little miss" but it's catchy.

i almost fell asleep listening to all this music, it's just relaxing, but then i would write down the titles of what i heard. mindy smith's "peace of mind" is one i would like to perform. it's my range and fits my tone and i just like the words too. i'll have to hear this one again tonight--find it and play it. "daylight" by alison krause...so beautiful and true. another one i like to sing for it's momentum and purity.

so i'm still staying at the house with my ex, but it's fine. still not wearing the ring and i am NOT sleeping on that damn hide-a-bed tonight--HE is! haha. ;) but everything is very amiable at this point, and we're all making other plans, and all sharing the space. he still brought me dinner in bed. yay! it's a really good Colombian rice with black beans and pork chops. the pork chops are without the bone and look delicious!

hahahhaaaaa! i LOVE this song!!!! "fortune teller" by robert plant and alison krause. totally cracks me up. i love these lyrics and the expression in his voice while storytelling. this is my favorite song tonight. while he is singing this, i kept seeing the face of the fortune teller i knew from d.c., and just couldn't stop laughing.

great, great, rhythm from the guitar, "reasons why" by nickel creek. i am able to sing this one too--it fits my kind of voice and i almost want to take up bongos listening to it. like the rhythm a lot.

nickel creek "reasons why", "i don't believe you've met my baby" by alison krause, "blackhawk" by emmylou harris, "far side of jordan" , "i will always love you" by dolly parton, "blue beyond" tisha yearwod, "down in the valley" claire lynch, "old friend" by lyle lovett. have a holly jolly christmas. "when doves cry" by the be good tanyas. i really liked blackhawk for the visuals and "i don't believe you've met my baby" for the surprise. christmas music makes me think of d.c., ever since i arrived, hearing christmas music in july and fall and crazy times of the year. really like "old friend" by lyle lovett.

"where've you been" by kathy matea...the "i'm going to beat you up for taking so long" song. "little maggie" by the stanley brothers...first time i heard this i didn't pay much attention but wow, the lyrics are gorgeous. i didn't notice bc the voice is so-so. "big time in the jungle" old crow medicine show. oooh, fatalistic song..."to fight for an ideal i know nothing about"..lol. but i like it. it's a good military camp song. i want to say army camp song. but military fits all things. i saw a woman, the other day, with blackwater stickers on her car and she looked so normal and conservative and i'm thinking maybe she's a sniper.

the reason i love the east coast. it's a hollywood story without the lipstick. it's glamour undercover. i don't care what anyone does, but everyone is doing something interesting. hey, even the fast food people over here are passing out missives to spies and drugs to receivers and getting busted. it's big time, but i
don't want to find out about a dirty politician bc my mouth will get me killed. keep me out of the secret stuff. i just want to mix for fun.

"something worth leaving behind" by leann womak. like this one. like "beautiful" by faith hill. so, so, like chris thile's "the wrong idea". this is such a good song. i really like chris thile and the emotion and dilemna in the song are like psychedelic daisies dancing in a field. allison moorer "let go" is a song where i see a log cabin or some kind of ranch house in the woods, and someone is playing guitar.

my ex is now asking if i want to be friends and share housing as only friends, until i'm on my feet better, financially. nothing intimate involved at all, which i know is possible for me bc when i make up my mind, i'm firm on it. but i'm thinking about that, and then i would go to wenatchee alone. but if i needed to come back to d.c. area to take care of some business, he's saying he might be able to help me. so...thinking. i have to get insurance, and then see a back doctor. and then work and file some stuff and get a maryland license.

the lighthouse's tale is nice. at any rate, what's cool, is the Colombian people still want to hang out with me and are still inviting me to do things with them. so i'm happy about this because i want to make friends with people from different countries here. i enjoy the diversity and friendship. everyone has something to offer.

i am holding out for someone who has not let me know what they want exactly, or if anything is possible. i can't wait my whole life, and i at least need guidelines or something, messages or affirmation that i'm thinking the same thing and we're on the same page. i am in love with a mystery man. i think i know most things, but i'm a little puzzled still. but everything is very good right now. my course of action is sure, and i think everyone agrees with it.

"deeper well" by emmylou, evokes images for me. but i don't want to write images right now. i need to take a valium to sleep and just take care of the pain. oh, i love this song, deeper well. this is a good song for me--i identify. SUCH a good song. aqua, aqua. water, water, water....

good night. i think i'll write some poems tomorrow maybe but i've got to work fast to take care of a bunch of things too. i'm very glad i'm not losing my new Colombian friends and i'm looking foward to having my son over in this area and meeting more people.

"loves me like a rock" good song to end on. it made me think of my darling son, whom i am fighting for, every best way i know how. i love you so much oliver and i will see you very soon. i have to fix a couple more things and that's it! i love you and you are first in my mind, in all my defcision-making. you are the most
special thing and most wonderful gift in and of my life.