My Apologies For Assumptions about Mykal Holt

I do apologize when I'm wrong or may be wrong. Maybe my housemate and Alvaro were not making out or who knows what. All things considered, I didn't see how it could be anything else really, and my hunches are usually pretty good. I don't think anyone would admit it, really, even if it were true. But it may not be the case.

To my credit, it's not like I trashed her house or took things or anything, out of anger in thinking this. I wouldn't do that, even if I knew.

What bothers me was how newly red his nose and face were. And how long it took anyone to come to the door, and the idea that he didn't "hear" me knocking that loud and ringing the bell when he's not a light sleeper.

It's not ludicrous to think CIA for both of them either, because she goes to Brazil all the time and he goes to Colombia and I was being prepped for something over there in D.C. So, and how did they know eachother already?

I thought it was possible for someone to change and turn a corner. I thought even if he was horrible to me and did things behind my back and was playing this "game" it was possible for him to come clean and be true to me and turn things around. But I was wrong. He's either fully a gamer who wanted to screw with my head all along or he pretended to be to keep his cover.

But it is POSSIBLE he was with someone else. I decided to ask her today and she said maybe he was even sleeping on his arm or something. But I know that's not it. He couldn't have caused the redness chafing effect under his lower lip and over his whole nose from just an arm. And it was the same effect he had on Valentines Day and probably other days. And it bothers me how he wanted the house keys. If no one was home, the door would've been unlocked bc I was last to leave it. Housemate said she was there in bed and didn't know he was on the couch until she came down. But then if that's the case, why didn't she hear HIM knocking when he was saying he needed keys because she wasn't home? she can hear a doorbell and knocking. And THEN, housemate changed story quickly, saying she actually saw him llying on the couch when SHE came in and he was "out of it". He wasn't on drugs. I know that.

Now that I think about it, not sure why she changed story either. I'm trying to give her the benefit of a doubt. But she swears it was NOT her and that she never considered this

Also, she wanted to know if Alvaro directly told me she was with him or if he just said he was with someone else. Like, she really wanted to know what HE had said to me. I just told her he didn't try to deny it and from all appearances, I had thought it was reasonable to think it was the two of them.

She says no way. But I don't know why she'd try to suggest he'd just slept on his arm when I said it looked "fresh".

Also, she tried to explain away the text message he sent to himself. Alvaro was sending TEXTs from his Ipod to his Email address. No one would do that, unless someone else was reading their email and had access to it. I can imagine sending myself a reminder of "air paso", but not the fucking "Donde va anda?"

Yeah right. He's texting himself "Where are you walking?". Housemate suggested it was to Alex, his friend here, but I said No, he wouldn't give Alex access to his email account and then text to that account to ask Alex "where are you walking?" Alvaro knew I checked his iphone sometimes so maybe he thought if all I saw was an address for himself I wouldn't be suspicious. At least no one would know WHO was reading the email in his account I guess.

But he was asking someone "where are you walking" when he was newly in Wenatchee and supposedly didn't know ANYONE here. So he was NOT walking over to Colombia, or to Maryland. He knew someone in this town, or more than one person, before he ever arrived, and he probably had some girlfriend flown over here too.

God, I HOPE they're NOT CIA! If they are, this country is in a shitload of trouble. For me to pick up on all of that...just not very "sly". I guess even spies are human. Still, you'd think...Maybe it's closer to FBI work. Who knows.

Even with all of the horrible things Alvaro did, I do miss him. I know I loved him in my own way and I don't take it back, but there were limitations on my love or ability to love him, because he wasn't honest with me and I don't put up with that. If he'd been able to be honest and not played all the creepy mind games, I could have fallen for him maybe, over time. He sometimes seemed so intelligent and hilarious and then other times, like...I don't know. Like that brick that hit him on the head had done a little bit of damage or something.

I asked housemate if she thought a neighbor would take my clothes and she said no. I think it was Alvaro because no one else would pick out just those things and have such good taste, I don't think. What woman would steal my underwear anyway? Not the panties at least.