Last night I had a dream that I was going to get death threats and that someone in some group wanted to find a way to "get rid" of me. Not through psychological means. Wants me to disappear.
It was interesting when I went through my diaries. In one that I kept before I ever began having problems, before meeting people on the East Coast or at the Abbey, or who knows, through my old boyfriend who I slighted so badly according to others, I recorded a dream I had. A lot of bad things happened to me in that dream, and later, all of those things came to pass. I had the dream when I was about 14 years old.
I don't know if it's true or not, and I don't want to say anything because of the potential of giving false hope, but I had this feeling this morning that this guy I just met is going to be okay. He thought he might have colon cancer and has thrown up blood and had it out both ends. But he said the doctors say it could be an ulcer. I don't know about that. Regardless, even if it's cancer, I think he's going to be okay.
And he's a decent person. I had a room to myself and there is absolutely zero bad vibe or anything questionable about him. I mean, everyone has faults, but there is no "vibe" that is "off" or which I question. He's a normal and decent being. He said he used to be a big drinker and did drugs. Who cares. It's not what goes into the body but what comes out of the heart.
Not interested at all, but he's a friendly guy.
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