Vibe & My Efforts For This Case

Pretty steady today. Glad for it. Nothing really depressing or sad, though not all is well with my own situation. Felt okay last night too. Nothing super up or positive, but just very steady. Not like that 100% strength feeling, but like something is even keeled and constant.

I realized too, and talked with some people in Wenatchee, who agreed, some of this is just that ebb and flow of holiday emotions that come into play around this time of year. Everyone senses it.

I met some people, a couple, at the bookstore who said they are also big believers in intuition and are highly intuitive themselves, and I was glad to hear about them.

They told me to check out a book where the government uses little kids for intuitive or mind control experiments, about the Indigo Children. Something to do with kids in a certain island where they were "indigo kids" and used for experiments and also in China where they're used until puberty and then retired.

Anyway, they're totally normal, and have a beautiful little girl my son would absolutely love. I want to talk to them more. They're a little bit more into Buddism, chakras, and things, but I'm interested in hearing about the Eastern ideas at least. What we have in common, is an understanding that there are energies and psychic realities in our world. For me, I come at it from half science and half God perspective.

I called a few people about the image I saw, of the blond man in a wheelchair. I don't know who it is. It wasn't anyone I called. Then I read that this golf thing happened to William when he was 8 and it's way too young for that to be him, from what I saw recently. So I don't know. I have no idea. I feel very sure it means something, and it must be important, if this is what I saw, but I don't know why. Someday, maybe someone will tell me.

I had another royalty dream last night, and was even having conversations with one of them again, but then I fell asleep again and couldn't remember anything after I awoke the second time. I was a little peeved, because it had been interesting, but I completely lost it (forgot it).
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I tried to find out what color of horse the toy horse was, that I saw in my dream, not that it really matters. But I couldn't find it exactly. I guess it was sort of a dirty palomino color and maybe a thoroughbred type of horse. The hair of the horse were close in color to the body. Not a super dramatic difference. I almost want to say "roan" but not with separate white hairs or anything. More tan with a lighter tan-honey tail and mane. I guess "sable" is used to describe dogs, not horses.

Then I looked up horses of every color. I don't know, got on a tangent.

And I forgot to fix my notes on my last visit with my son, because he had actually accepted the stuffed animals but ALSO wanted "a horse" in addition. He kept saying, "I want a HORSE!" and then he was pointing at a book totally buried in the stack of boOKS> I mean, buried, and "that" was the horse. Mmm, yeah, I think it was a palomino too, but totally different idea here.

I'm going to look up the Indigo Children.

Night.

Oh, and I talked to my lawyer, but I have to get some things filed, and by tomorrow I think. He says he thinks the state wants to reuinite me with my son but I told him I have zero belief and faith now, after they refused to increase visitation. Instead of giving me and my son more, after each hoop I jump through, they give less. They do not want my son to be with me and they are already just checking boxes so they can make a show before they terminate. I told him the only thing that would change my mind would be if they increased visitation.

I said I wanted reconsideration of the last order, and to have audio taping permitted and he wants to make an expedited motion, but I think a reconsideration of the WHOLE order could still be made, based on the idea that we did NOT get a continuance and he was unprepared to go to trial so new on my case, and didn't even get to file a thing.

The entire thing should be reversed until December, when my lawyer can properly submit Motions, with at least 30 days or less under his belt.

The state has demonstrated already, how they will lie to the end. They also already showed ME, in the last hearing, that they are willing to do NOTHING for my son's best interests.

I was willing to sacrifice my entire reputation for just a few more hours with Oliver, because I knew how badly he wants this, and I felt at least, even I'm diagnosed as nuts when I'm not, it would show a willingness to return him to me and increase the bonding.

But no, they refuse to even make up visits that were MISSED, as they're required to do.

It's going to termination and my mind is already onto what their doing. Nothing will change my mind or position or the way I approach anything, unless they increase visitation at once, as they promised to do over 3 months ago, when they said it was warranted, and now, I've gone through more of their hoops to demonstrate "cooperation" and they've regressed.

Regressed.

My lawyer thinks they'll win it all, whatever they want, and I do too, unless perhaps there is one very small thing that will tip the whole thing over. I wouldn't want to be so smug and secure, that's my thinking. Even with all of that power, I just wouldn't want to be so confident.

I told him I want a motion made for audio recording. I have zero reason to trust what the state is doing, and I noticed, how after I told my own lawyer in our last meeting, that I wanted audio recording and there was no "invasion of privacy" when it was just me and my son talking...the state suddenly changed course and tried to say the wanted the visitation monitor to be allowed to "speak up" in our visits and "instruct". WHy? Because they're last argument was that it was an invasion of the MONITOR's privacy, to be recorded if she didn't want to be. I said Sue didn't come into this at all, and that it was me and my son and she wasn't supposed to talk.

The state stood there and LIED, saying they couldn't increase visits because they HAD to have a security guard in place because I was harassing and disruptive. I have NEVER been. I told the Judge, this was an excuse to cite "cost" as a reason to prevent visits from being increased and they made this lie in the past before. It is a violation of my civil rights, to be so lied about, "harassing" and "disruptive" when I'm NOT, and NOT be able to record what the real truth is.

If I'm disruptive, I'm sure that will be caught on tape. The state should be in favor of that.

They don't want audio recording because it will keep them in line with the TRUTH.

They can't lie "too good" when an objective form of documentation is going to work against them if they do.

They want to run this to the end, believing they can lie about whatever they want.

I am not going for that, because if it's not allowed in this hearing, there will certaintly be another case ahead, a civil one, and before that, an appeal to higher courts.

I am not going to be lied about any longer. If the court wants to BLOCK audio recording, then it will be on the record that I was prevented from showing what the real truth of the matter is. It will look suspicious. Either they can all be suspects, or they can keep their blockade and be liars and go to court for a very long time.

I also told my lawyer I am not just going to make corrections to visistation notes hereout, I'm making corrections to all of them, even the ones in the past.

He tried to say the notes were better now, but nothing matters. It doesn't matter at all if the notes are better, when the state refuses to increase visitation.

I'm not doing any of the bullying either. I was even willing to trade my entire life's reputation, for what basically amounts to almost insanity, in exchange for seeing them work to get my son reunited after 'therapy'. They chose to hardball and do absolutely nothing, regress in fact, and then try to convince me they are trying to reunify. No, they are not, and I'm not an idiot.

With each box they check, they take away more. They are doing NOTHING that is in my son's best interests.

And dear GOD, they so hope to medicate my son and pray he doesn't complain about pain and his eye anymore. Because they know very well how this could all turn out. If my son has a serious problem that gets worse, that will be an enormous liability, in addition to my evidence that both I and my son were harmed and there was motive to lie in the first place.

Of course, we could all avoid getting into this, and avoid termination, but it seems to me, that by regressing and refusing even slight increases to visitation, someone got orders to screw my son over, and to forget about not only his emotional well-being, but his HEALTH besides.

My son could DIE and CPS and people here in Wenatchee wouldn't care. Some of the people at least. In fact, some here would be very happy about it I'm sure. It would be only one more way to try to get to me.

My son could be dying now, and all anyone wants to focus on, is ME and how to keep the lies going as long as possible, and maybe cross fingers that my son is adopted to someone else if he does die...someone who isn't very "litigious".

The state does not care if my son suffers.

He says, desperately, at each visit, he wants to see his mother more. He doesn't want to leave. CPS workers in Wenatchee and Anne McIntosh do NOT care.

Here's a prediction, from an intuitive: My son has something wrong with his brain. It will be found on MRI. The state will choose to do nothing and try to prevent my son from getting a specialized pediatric evaluation by a neurologist, and my son will get worse. They will do what they can and will terminate my rights, making sure I am both "nuts" and without my own son at the same time. Meanwhile, my son will suffer without his mother, and be inoperable by the time anyone does anything.

Then, there will people willing to believe every single word I say, and not only that, they will also believe me when I say people are lying now, in this case. Instead of continuing to lie, at this immediate juncture, if I were a state worker, I would turn things around. I wouldn't have a problem with audio recording. I wouldn't have a problem with MRI. I would stop lying. I would focus on reuiniting the mother with the child and I would instruct others who are worried about a lawsuit, that it will be worse later if they do nothing now.

It can be remedied NOW.

If that means someone might have a pay a settlement for my son's trust, for what he's been through, so what. The liability is going to be a LOT less now than it will be in the future.

You may even get out of being sued on my son's behalf, if you terminate and have my son adopted out, but that doesn't mean I can't still sue, and I will. It also leaves your team with just about zero credibility with anyone, that you ever actually cared about a boy.

What would God want you to do? Or are you all a bunch of atheists? To not even care about a 3 year old boy's desires, when he is innocent and has already suffered so much. Is your hatred that great? And if it is, is that how you want this to be, to continue in this hate and allow it to be taken out on a kid?

All of this, for what? to smear me? is it worth it?

My son's blood is already on your hands.

So BE IT. If that is what you want for your own lives and your own legacy, that is your choice. You persist in your own evil, and you have committed evil against my son.

May God deal with you as he sees fit. May God bless those who bless me and my son. And may God bless those who try to do the right thing, who care about the truth.

You do not "wait" on an MRI, given the complaints made by my son and his medical history. You do not chance it. There is enough reason and cause for it to be done right away.

Let's see how much you care about Oliver's "best interests."

We're all watching.

Show us how much you care about Oliver.