Maybe Progress On Getting My Son?

I don't know.

I withdrew my consent to have some medical records turned over to CPS, because I have considered how they might be discovery for something else, and I want to look at them again myself.

But then I got an email, which I didn't see yesterday, from my lawyer, which says there is a different social worker who might be interested in trying to get progress on this case, in the best interests of everyone involved.

I don't know whether my lawyer's secretary was really trying to help or not, but she also said she would tell my attorney how she saw that my son backed all the way out of the visitation offices, all the way to the door at yesterdays visit, waving and not wanting to leave.

So I guess my lawyer said some social worker is interested in possibly recommending an adjustment in how this case is moving, and taking a look at the whole thing to determine what might be done in a cooperative manner.

I think this SOUNDS like a good idea, but I am not as trusting as I once was, after trying over and over again to try to cooperate and being lied about and stymied. I don't know if it's just another way to stall. I would like to think this will turn around but my expectations at this point, are almost gone entirely and I'm already thinking forward about appeals and other lawsuits. I just have a very hard time with what I've had to see happen to me and my son, for this long, already.

I'm not completely given up, but I have hit the bottom, in being able to trust what anyone tells me, unless I see REAL results and actions backing things up.

To the state's credit, at least now they are not stiffing my son on visits, and they have agreed to make up the last missed visit, which they got an order to try to refuse doing. But, they reversed on this one thing, and that is good. My son has had more like 2 hours a week with me instead of 4, because of all the missed visits they refused to make up, and claiming it was because someone was sick or it fell on federal holidays. Next Monday is a federal holiday, but they planned ahead and I was told visits were resheduled for Wednesday and Friday.

So this is better, but it is meeting bare requirements they are SUPPOSED TO MEET. It shows, "Okay, now they are following the law a little better" but this isn't about screwing a mother and son over or meeting even bare minimum, it's supposed to be good faith in INCREASING the visitations and respecting the rights of my son.
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The thing is, when people are decent to me, I bend over backwards and go out of my way to give. I am by nature, a giving person.

However, I've been screwed over because of this too, and because I've been too naive and trusting and it's been all take take take.

But for example, I didn't straighten up a living area for awhile because I hadn't seen other things done, and it wasn't that I was doing this p...I don't know. I'm cutting myself off, thinking, that's how everyone is "you get more flies with sugar" but the thing is, I've been screwed over and my son has suffered as have I. Horrendously.

But I'm the person people can trust, when I'm treated decently, I have been the person who is honest and willing to go the extra mile for others. What I have discovered, is that not everyone is like me, and for every inch I give, they TAKE a mile. They don't go a mile for me and my son, they just TAKE MORE.

So I recently just had it. And whyever it took that long for me to think "that's enough" I don't know. I still don't trust what I'm being told now.

Because until I see a pattern of good faith, it is just more talk to stall and keep me down and thinking something is going to change for me and my son. I am trying to be open minded, but I don't have a lot to be thankful for yet. Actually, I'm sure I do, but I can't see that yet, and I also just see my son and feel for him.