My Voice & MRIs

Ever since what happened in Bainbridge, I don't have my voice anymore.

I smoked cigarettes for 2 months total, and that didn't do it. It was the other things. And the MRI shows an abnormality that is there which wasn't there before.

My voice was fine after my neck surgery and I've never once had problems with it until now.

I got a ride from a guy in the neighborhood not too long ago who said, "Oh well, you're not going to be a professional singer."

I could have been, even at my age, if I'd wanted to, and things lined up right, and a lot of people knew this too.

I'm actually thinking now, that this abnormality which shows up is something which could probably be removed by surgery and then clear the way for my voicebox again. I don't really think it's permanent or has to be and that it's more of a blockage now, in the box or register or something. I would have to look more closely, but from what I notice in singing, it's only the upper register.

But yeah, smoking a few times a day for only 2 months doesn't do this to someone's voice.

I still have a burned mark on the tip of my tongue from the ONE cigarette.

So now I have evidence of anemia which occured after the hemmorhage that happened in Seattle, and I have evidence on my body of the poisoned cigarette, and the MRI shows something wrong with my throat.

I wasn't making anything up.

Some people didn't want me to be alive, and if that, didn't want me to have my talent anymore, at all. They were malicious, self serving groups.

I read a quote today which I really like. It goes:

"He who does not hope to win has already lost." --Jose Joaquin Olmedo

I hope to win.

I had one nice moment this morning, where I was sitting at my desk and as I sat singing, this little robin flew up close to the window, perched on the fence and sat facing me, chirping along. I was going to take a photo of it with my laptop but sat singing along instead and watched it singing too. The song was accidental. I was looking for Rhianna's song about the best liar or whatever (take a bow), and instead I found and played "We Ride". After awhile the bird flew off.

But it reminded me of when I could sometimes sing and literally, bring birds over with the music. They like it. Well, they like some of the sounds. It's not a cartoon, birds really appreciate music. I used to play Ella Fitzgerald and my parakeet would go absolutely nuts, chirping and jumping all over the place and singing. He LOVED Ella.

Usher: You Remind Me. In a hip hop r&b mood. Sort of an old song though. I'm in the mood for Chris Brown.

I saw a good Celtic Woman program on PBS a few nights ago too. It was really beautiful. All my favorite songs.