Harassment Tonight

Now everyone is wearing red and I went to the store and they put on "Queen of Hearts" and this, after I brought up things about the computer technology. After that, "You Look Wonderful Tonight."

Then, a couple of cars went by with one guy hanging out the window moving his tongue around the way someone had once instructed my son to do, and then that day this woman who had some kind of deformity was doing the same thing as she passed by. I wrote about her and the name that was called out when she passed by.

I also had someone, a couple, man and woman, with their dog on a leash that basically sounded the way my neck was sounding when things were happening to it because it started to make a weird noise. And they just came out of the woodwork with this leash that made the same sound. I'm not exaggerating or making that up at all. They were walking torwards Cherry St. from the street right before Queen Anne St. A couple with a black dog and they were purposefully letting out the leash and then cinching it, which made that sound. It was exactly the sound my neck made, and I don't believe it was coincidence when I had references to neck and then collars and things.

Then another woman drove by gleefully in a car with a sticker on it that said, "Buy A Collar".

The icon for the one woman who was writing me is gone now and there is now something there for a "Barbara Luper" and I don't know who this person is.

I've had people yelling out "Jacob" over and over. Just randomly, and a lot of them. They put out a new brand name of cigarettes too--"Blue Crush" and it was the only thing blue on the entire counter, which was covered with red vines and atomic fireballs and all kinds of neat-o red things.

The computer has been overheating and my son has been looking bad for at least 2 weeks where he'd been looking a little better before, even if he said a lot of things that sounded like brainwashing, he wasn't acting physically ill for awhile.

Some of this stuff, like the grown, adult woman, careening happily around a corner in her car...this is so not normal. Since when do adults behave this way? how come I never noticed it before. It's really, very, strange.

It's nothing against red though, I just noticed more of it and no biggie but then the stuff that reminded me of my neck. Will need to forget about that, if possible.

Even in the middle of my visit with my son today, my son and I said something and then the monitor got up to look out and nod to someone, excitedly, like we'd said something that was now going to affect some group in some way. And of course, today she was wearing turquoise.

I know that some military or internationals are interested in me in a legitimate way but there are a whole lot of others who are capitalizing on running a circus and harming me and my son. Half of these people are not "professionals" running experiments, or genuinely testing aptitude for certain skills--they're gaming and that's it, and treating my son and I like objects.

Michelle left behind some pink baby tray on top of a white chair today. Last time, we couldn't find the pegasaurus because it was hidden. Our visit was supposed to have been made up for an extra hour today and Michelle backed out on it, saying it was only for 2 hours.

I have a list at least 5 months long of how many visits have been missed and not made up. It actually goes farther back than that.

I have people following me at every single turn, watching exactly where I go and what I do and making a huge fucking deal about it too. I picked out the chicken parmigiana from the stack of 4 t.v. dinners and people are punching info into their cell phones to alert the nation that I must be thinking about William of Wales. Then, if I'm having pizza in the morning, pizza pockets for me and my son this morning, we must be aligning with some italian or East Coast group. I can't even pick out a fucking gatorade without wondering if someone is going to read into what color (flavor) I choose.

I sat down at the park today and then, later, noticed, oh, I was directly in front of the wishing well. I hadn't thought about it. What I did think about, was my prayers to God. I sat down to concentrate and pray and then the next thing I know, I'm realizing I'm in front of a wishing well with park picnic benches behind and there is a black garbage can by a tree on the left and a white BMW or foreign car on the right. So then, of course, it's car after car that is either black, white, or a combination of black and white.

Then, I left to use the restroom and went at this retirement place because it was the closest business and that turned into a big deal, I guess because it said "Aarons" on the outside. I don't know, but it was the only place around. Then i went to a hillside and was just going to eat in peace and quiet and lo and behold, I couldn't eat in peace and quiet.

Why not? Well, I thought it would be quiet. It was at the end of a Dead End street and there was a country hill at the end of it. So I go over to sit by some trees where I thought it would be slighty shaded and partially private and I have every fucking neighbor and their dog peering out at me. I turned because I felt eyes on my back, and sure enough. And then again and again. And then I so happen to notice I'm sitting in front of a turquoise boat and how the hell should I have known? It was at the end of a dead end. And someone had put a small river rock next to the base of the tree and that's where I was sitting. I was just sitting there to enjoy the quiet and the birds were all singing and it was really nice. But then, sure enough, I come out and someone has their kid skating by me back and forth in colors and I'm not sure what it means and then I come out from the corner, and TONS of cars are all lined up, with people literally hanging out of their windows. It was like a huge parade line up. They were packed in together. I suppose a few were okay, and seemed alright but so many looked either pissed or really smug.

When I was in front of the wishing well thing, it was more like shock for some reason. Then, when I was coming out of the dead end zone, it was mayhem, but I don't know what part was from what "report" so who knows.

One minute someone will act normal and the next, just turn.

I am starting to understand why Diana wanted to eat dinner in her room by herself. Maybe the Queen too. It's not "sad"--it's probably one of few ways to stay sane. I also never understood her comments about her leaving her role as being the most "dangerous phase" of her life and now I'm getting a grasp on this.

If people think you have a certain covering, they could act so happy for you and like they love you, but if you step out of that, some will be angry and upset enough to maybe even feel threatened. She said it was like the press felt she'd personally offended them, but Sarah F. went through the same thing and so have many others but I can see where there is this shift and such moodiness. I wonder if people really know what to think about me anyway. I get a lot of comments which just show many to be uninformed about who I am and they have a completely different idea about me. I get most of my harassing comments from people who are way off of the mark.

Not to say I compare myself to these other people, bc I don't have photographers hounding and all over. Instead, it's like a night and day entourage. And unfortunately, I am not getting any "perks" in exchange for the "entertainment" I provide.

I feel my son is suffering the most because he is the one who is in need of help and the U.S. just doesn't want to do anything about it.
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I just read the news. Absent from watching for a couple of days. I didn't know China had had an earthquake. I didn't know about any of this new stuff. The only thing I had a feeling about was a volcano somewhere and that happened. But I didn't foresee the China earthquake at all. Not that I would, but on at least a couple occasions, I've sincerely sensed something. Not here, and not with any recent events.
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Just looked at headlines for royals. Didn't read the articles, but looked up headlines. Also looked up Di and everything.

I did laugh out loud at one, so that's good. I needed to laugh and at least when I read some of those liners, I feel my woes are not too bad. Well, I have a lot of bad mixed with little good it seems, but on a comedic level, the coverage they get reminds me of star wars. I think of princess leah all the time now, with knobs instead of a crown, but same (sort of--not really) idea.

But at least it was good to laugh. I laughed at one in particular which just struck me as hilarious and realizing what a sense of humor some of the press have, and how apt, or how dramatic rather, which makes it funnier, and then I was sort of surprised about the lines about how harry didn't have this big "bash" or "splash". Why in the world would it be important to report on that if it never even happened? i'm confused. i mean, someone got smashed and spent a ton of money or they didn't and i don't know how one would get that wrong. Who cares either way, but i don't get it.
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maybe i'm sounding too peeved about everything. I probably need to listen to that "when you say nothing at all" song again, that says "you talk too much" at the end. that was another thing weird, was seeing this video for the first time and there is mention of the name "Darren". Weird. Who is Darren anyway ad why has he come to mind or that name for some reason?

Oh, the other weird thing about the book I chose, was that the other book he's written is called "dreaming in black and white" and the book that the librarian had on the chair was called "black and white" or something about it. And then she put the 4 stamps book next to it or I saw it when I brought my book up. But I think I'm in a weird competition between the U.S. and Russia? this librarian, nice enough, from Ukraine and then this man came in who spoke perfect Moscow Russian.

I just think it's so strange. But how would she know anyway? but very weird.

I am reading Bambert's book of Missing Stories for myself and getting fried alive with a computer at the same time. I turned it off and it was better. Took the battery out and big difference but still problems unless I turn it off.