Dinner With Dull

I had dinner with dull.

I liked the other one who came in and sat on the other side of the room, who rode a bike, better.

This is how I just know I know. I know in one dinner, if I am interested at all or not. And it sticks.

The other guy probably has hardly any money, but good vibes from him. Good heart. Not so sure about the other guy. He has a sarcastic streak and there isn't a real chemistry in any regard, at all.

The other one has something interesting about him.

The one I went out with, he is good looking and has things going for him. I think he makes a good salary and has maybe some good connections. But I don't care.

I care if my son is better off from my acquaintance with certain people.

But the next guy to come in, who had on a black shirt as well, I would have to talk to him first but I have seen him one other time in town and something about him strikes me as sincere.

The last thing the guy I went out with said to me was "don't work too hard."

I'm not working.

I think maybe he's said something kind of sarcastic in the past too. I can't remember what now, but I remember the vibe was what made me decide not to look into a job he brought up bc I wondered if it was just part of a game. I might be wrong.

He may be attracted to me physically, but I'm just not interested.

I don't have time to go out and play a dating game. I said I would have dinner but that's not dating to me. That is going out with a man or woman, and just having something to eat. To me, dating is getting to know someone through various activities.

What I want, is someone I can trust.

I don't care about money or position as much as I care about someone who has a really good heart. That's not everything bc you have to have chemistry too, and be attracted in other ways. But I would rather be like the person in the cards who is poor and yet has a solidarity with their partner, who would never leave their side, the cripple and the beggar, more than king of diamonds. The really wand-y guy might be a little wand-y and wizard-y. I mean, magician sounds super cool, if they're normal in other ways and you're attracted to eachother. But there is a balance with everything.

An acceptance of some psychic things is essential. Doesn't mean they have to be that way, but just an understanding is good. But good heart and trustworthy--the one who would do anythng for you and your son and doesn't give up easily, who rises to the ocassion and does what they can with even a small amount...that's the person that I really like. The one who doesn't just have character but has a heart for me and my son. But can't just be heart bc there are a lot of great hearts who, people are just not, for some reason, not attracted to. I've dated heart. Sort of mushy heart and not totally attracted. Then very attracted but where is the heart? and then wow, super cool psychic stuff, but maybe a tiny bit much bc I am not feeling the chemistry.

Just a balance of all things. And money or security is cool, but it's not everything.

Like I said. I'll take the guy on the bike who has all the other stuff before the one driving a brand new sportscar or SUV.

And funny! We need to laugh and enjoy eachothers' sense of humor and what is funny in the everyday things.

I just do not have time to date people right now. If I came across someone cool, it would be great to have a trustworthy friend.

This guy I went out with might be very trustworthy but something is missing and I don't feel chemistry at all.

The other guy looked young, by comparison, with these punk earring holes in his ears, and on a bike, and everything, but something seems interesting or sincere.

I think the one I had dinner with will be a great catch for someone else but I am too different. He will find someone great but it's not me.

I need someone slightly...different but not weird or weirder than me. Or at least on the same weird wave-length.

I don't know.

But, in the meantime, whenever anyone comes into my life, even if I am not interested romantically at all, I am interested in those who are a help to my son if they can be. That is very important to me and I don't know many who would do this out of nothing, expecting nothing in return and just doing it out of a love for a child or conscience or calling.

Thank you God for those who have gone above the call of duty to do what they can and who get little thanks or cannot be thanked and bless those who are able to do more in the future. Bless the most, those who want to with all their heart and are not in a position to do so. You know the heart and the intentions.