Impressions & cake and candle melting

I would take the poor man with a good heart before I would take a rich man with questionable motives and who doesn't love me and my son.

After I wrote the thing about psychic stuff, with cards, last night, I had an impression of someone dropping an eating utensil or something which was probably either in the moment or something that happened today in reference to reading what I wrote. I mainly got a woman, like, out of shock.

Reading or hearing about what I'd written and dropping something, but not for show, in front of me, but in reality, from a distance--I don't know how great, because something meant something to her (or him?) in some way.

The only thing I can think of is that it sort of lined up with what the other psychic lady said, but I figured she is more the type that says stuff that is generally appealing to others. She said I would travel all over and be with someone rich. She said from Seattle or with work there. She said I had a very good and clear aura, and liked helping people and I would help people in some way. In some way, I give out too much and have been hurt by others who take advantage. Said we'd be very happy and things would work out with my family and holidays would be better. Might meet the person through my family she said. Won't say more than that except!

Then, I asked what she saw me doing and she said helping people and then also something creative. I said I did like to paint and then she said something about festivals or fair or carnival and I said, "Ummm...No...Probably not that so much..."

But then I had the most hilarious idea of penning a "fake note" to someone, like Charles Spencer, for my blog, (not really sending it to him of course, but a spoof on myself) but if I did I didn't want to offend the psych lady and make her think I was making fun at all but I thought about writing this thing up where I am saying, "Hello Charlie, tell the kids I'm sorry, but I never expected my reincarnation to be quite so eventful...or sad. I have been told I am going to be a carnie. I know some of my past is coming through somewhere but I never thought, really..."

Anyway, I imagined this whole scenario of how I could write this thing, and thought about it a few times and just laughed and laughed, everytime I thought of it. She then clarified though and explained what she meant and it wasn't that. But I thought how it would be sort of funny to make up a little thing, since I've had some joke about whether I'm channeling Diana or am her reincarnation (which at the time I had no clue why this was being said and what in the world, and I still know I cannot even come close to comparison but understand a slight bit more).

I was glad to hear from the psychic that my family would understand me more and things might get better and a better future ahead. That was very good to hear.

Anyway, lives are always changing and whatever my future, I do hope it's good and that there are better things ahead for me and my son. I really do. And I don't care if I am here or somewhere else, I mainly care about well, the normal things I guess.
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I cleaned today and made a cake. I was doing laundry and dishes and cleaning the kitchen and then found the cake mixes and thought, "aha!" and I used to do this a lot. Then a kid came in and said the yellow cake and I had cherry bit out so I mixed them both up and it was a little too full and ended up being a very funny looking cake. I made icing for it and found these sourpatch kids and stuck them in the cake and had sprinkles on the cake too, and thought, "It looks terrible but is made with love!" and then right next to the sourpatch kid stuff I found this other candy of warheads and I put the warheads candy (marked "warheads") on the cake. I stood back and it looked like little military men and warheads and I said to myself, "This is one sad shape military kids cake"

And that was my second laugh of the day, just laughing at the cake and at how it turned out. Between making this cake and thinking about my "letter to Charlie" I laughed a lot.

So I'm going to do more cleaning.

I felt the cake thing might be a set up. I noticed there were 4 boxes of cake. I worried that each one was going to represent something. So I was thinking about not making a cake at all. Then I thought, no that's ridiculous. So I just took what the boy said. All of the boxes were opened except for the rainbow cake box. It was devils food, yellow cake and cherry bit cake.

I thought about making the rainbow cake for the kids, with the sprinkles and everything but felt like...hmmm...what's going on here... I usually love chocolate but couldn't find cocoa for frosting anywhere. I thought about using a chocolate bar with the powdered sugar and then just didn't. I even thought about making ALL of them so that NO ONE won.

If there was a bet riding on whether I made a cake or not, and which one.

I knew there was some kind of cake idea when I saw those boxes. I just knew. Sure enough. Next thing I know someone is saying excitedly, "You're making a CAKE?" and yeah, I was. Who cares anyway.

This is what I don't like about my life so much is that I feel I can no longer do normal things I used to do everyday, and not have it mean something.

I would like to feel that I can go about my day and just do the regular stuff and not have it be a big deal at all. Just be simple and like I bake all the time (and I do when I have my own house).

I also poured liquid candle wax into a large container. I basically took all the candles that didn't have wicks anymore and melted them down to go into a tub to be remelted later with wicks to make new candles. Which I used to do all the time too.

I used to always have candles going, all the time, and music, and baking and cooking for my son. But not since the State took him because then it put me in a bad position so it has been rope to rope since they did this when it was very bad timing.

Anyway. I am happy being single. I just want a job that is interesting and my son. I want basic things to work out and that's not asking for too much but I guess, well, I am going to think positive.

I felt sad at around 12 today and then better an hour ago or so maybe. Also, a couple of times just really sensed my son was unhappy and wanted to see me.

There have been some nice people I've met lately.

"Charlie, tell the kids I'm sorry but I'm coming back as a carnie."

"Charlie, I hate you."
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Anyway. Oh who cares. Still a lot of harassment from others but I think things will be different sometime.

When the woman clarified she said she didn't necessarily see me working at fairs, festivals, and carnivals, but maybe selling or displaying my art there or being there for some things.

I asked God the question later, after I saw her, with one card I told God I would take, what was her motive if there was any? of what she said? and I got the "Judgment" card from the Rider-waite. So maybe good judgement or who knows, but if it's right, it would be judgement favorable to me, and if it's not right or was to be for someone else and misleading, it was judgement of another kind. I don't have enough discernment right now to know. I thought she was nice though! the wiki on the judgment card is kind of interesting. I just looked it up. it seems mainly positive. I like the photo at least. It is a picture of an angel blowing a trumpet with a cross below, that looks like a red cross and is called maybe "st. george's cross" and there is a man and woman with a child and then others who are sort of in a resurrection pose, like rebirth or life after death. *************************************
I still know that the future is based on choices and what God has in mind too.
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i feel pretty good energy right now.

i was going to do a little more work but right now i feel like praying more or something, thanking god for the good energy.

I looked up clear aura too. Wondering what that's supposed to be and it's very good. I am so curious about that kind of thing..auras...I've never seen one before. I get "vibes" but I don't know what an aura looks like in reality. I believe in it, I've just never seen one before.