Saturday, September 4, 2010

groceries for my son & marmaduke

I spent about 75% of my grocery money on my son. Just got him a ton of organic meat and then milk will be added to that.
these are usually the most important things to go organic on so I just did that.

***********************
Anyway, I thought about the Marmaduke thing and I think it is absolutely right, maybe, about the Duke (prince philip) but the weird part is that I looked it up, "marmaduke", online and saw it means "Great Dane" so I thought about Prince Philip. Who else could be a "great dane" and a duke too? so this is the logical reason why it crossed my mind, that even if the marmaduke that came to mind was not HIM, he might be at least one of the marmadukes. and it fit him so I did mainly think it might be him, but why him? that was yesterday afternoon.

And then today, I just typed, this late afternoon, a search for "queen elizabeth" and that was it and the first new news was that prince philip was unveiling his painting of the queen at breakfast.

What I'm sort of wondering, is why I am...or seem...to get so much about this family. Actually, I had someone else ask me that recently but I thought he wasn't serious. How would I know, anyway, how much is right or wrong and I'm sure a lot is wrong too.

But I am wondering, if this was being discussed yesterday? and it came to my mind for some reason? or did it come up later?

Seeing that painting...I didn't even read the article. I was too shocked by the painting alone.

First of all, I thought of this connection with Duke and Marmalade so I thought about marmaduke in that context. The duke painting the queen at breakfast with her, I didn't even look for jam but just thought of this. And then it also shocked me to see that table. That was the table I got but I saw the tablecloth in motion. A circle table with a solid white tablecloth and then I thought, back when I saw this, maybe it was a cloth for a picnic and I confused something but I did see a table. And I thought maybe I was confused because this is the kind of table we had in my family, it was a little round table the same shape and size as that one. Just a plain round oak table. I guess the 3rd thing that crossed my mind was how it looked like someone from my family bc we all read the newspaper and sometimes I would while eating and my boyfriends (or dates) didn't like it. So on a common level, for shared things which belong to everyone I agree it's a nice subject.

I was thinking though, that maybe I should compile some of my "right" moments so I can list them all in a row, and prove it's not psychotic, it's a small psychic thing I have. Which many others have too and maybe don't share as freely.
**********************************************
What made it stand out even more, was seeing this, right after getting something about "krishna" which I found was a headline in the UK.

So why DO I get UK stuff? I know I get a lot of U.S. though too and something recent which I will share later.

And then...interesting bc in my book where I wrote about vladdie and some random things that happened, the unicorn day at the chained up picnic table, I had written, which I didn't share before but I will now, I wrote...
"...these british people must be really good too!"

I was refering to psychic stuff and thinking about how they are somewhat public with their studies there.

Yesterday I walked by a man who I thought was British. He might have been australian bc the man in front of him said "goo'day" but I saw him and thought, "british" and he was so tall and then I passed and felt his eyes on my back and turned and he saw me turn. So then I thought, "psychic". (possibly)

because sometimes like connects with like, good or bad, but in a psychic way I think it happens.
********************************
There are other things which come to mind. On the U.S. side of things. Like Obama.

That is one really weird thing too. If I somehow get things about Obama and possibly indirectly Putin and maybe sometimes a couple of the royals, WHY.? but i think quite a lot about royals and maybe just bc i got so interested in di when i did and felt it deeply and god answered a few small prayers.

But I am starting to understand how bad this has possibly been for me...

Imagine the following--

Imagine I had actually published in my blog, something about Krishna. If I had published something about Krishna before it happened. What would those who were about to blow it up think?

They might think I was some kind of spy and knew about their plans and was trying to warn someone. Right? Or, I might wonder, after awhile, why do things happen in places where I think about first? and I might be worried something goes into effect just because I bring it up when that's not really it at all.

So I am trying to understand everything.

I can see though, how it's potentially dangerous even for others, because what if someone intercepts something from me that I get? or what if I inadvertently say something that compromises something good that is being done?
**************************************
The problem is, I have people coming in from all over to see who I am and I'm harassed a lot. I've had everything taken and horrible things have happened with zero impunity to others. I am shut out, here of even work, housing, and my own property which I had before. So for what?

I don't like being pushed and prodded and squeezed.

Like Daniel, I will not bow to whatever these idols are that I pushed to bow to here. What that is, I don't even fully know.

I don't have to marry anyone (under pressure or if I am not ready).
I don't have to do what anyone tells me to do here, if it's against what I believe.
I don't have to lie to cover up for the crimes of others who have hurt me and my son.

Don't ever think anyone would be able to harm my son without my speaking up about it. To do this is just poor decision making.

I had goals and a plan when my son was with me and others interferred with that. I have worked FT and been in college my entire life. I was never in this position until more recently and it hasn't been my fault. It's because others wanted to keep me down and then others were afraid of me. I never tried to harm anyone.

At this point, I want to move on and have my son returned.

I want a decent lawyer and right now, it doesn't look my lawyer is really helping me and the Prosecuting Attorney isn't going to let this go even though he already knows it is wrong.

These people want to fuck with me only so higher powers have their records protected and to keep me and my son from being able to move anywhere.

I have had a lot of people coming into town again recently, to check me out.

The woman who is connected to donna titleman maybe, or not, the elkhorn woman, was being cheered on by some people with British Colombia plates.

Why?

Why the international interest (for a few) in just following me and harassing me, when it seems there are other supportive people who are just afraid to say a word? I am starting to sense that a lot of people feel oppressed and others, just like how it works out. As long as they have a few things to keep them happy, they'll go along.
*************************************************
I have been thinking too...in some ways, keep people guessing, and in other ways, how to make life as dull and predictable and boring as possible so people just leave you alone.

I think first I was predictable. Pretty much had a routine and then others learned it and following that was their choice, but I didn't feel like it left all this open room.

Then, out of college, coming to this town things were predictable. But then, to avoid running into the same people, I started to vary everything I did.

Which ended up being ridiculous.

I didn't realize it at the time. But when you have that many people following you around and reporting on your every move,, then it becomes like, I'm finding, a wild goose chase with the psychics taking credit for "where is she going to go now?"

So then instead of being predictable and running into the same people all the time, I am running into a different situation where someone has tried to predict ahead of time where I might go, as if I am "zombie walking" everywhere.

I am thinking it is easier to just keep a boring routine and then vary maybe ONE place at a time and otherwise be as boring as possible.

Partially for safety reasons, I moved in a wide circle (circle just-about) but then it has turned into something else. I think it's better to just stay in one place if possible.

And then who do I go to exactly, with some of the things I need to talk about...like, since when is it okay for women to give another a poisoned cigarette and then run away and get away with it? or to have another woman using a laptop to do really weird things?

I feel like I am walking in a swiss cheese mormon heaven, with maybe 7 levels and layers and all these things to fall through. different layers of reality and danger. One minute walking on layer 2 and then jump up to another level. Or dropping down. It's all the same cheese, and the danger is always present, but sometimes I joke and laugh and walk along as if none of it exists at all. No danger at all. As if it's all fun and games. I have lost almost everything I ever had, and my family has suffered and my son has suffered tremendously and on one hand, I have peace of mind from God, but on the other hand, there is just no excuse for ignoring and being apathetic about what has happened. Other people don't get to me, in general, because for the most part I retain my sense of humor and worth. However, what is surface is so thin, there is and there have been so many hideous things happening, that I don't even grasp it all.

I feel like my family has been in some kind of al-quada CIA torture cell and all these people know and no one does anything except protect the abusers.
********************
anyway. after being blasted in church with technology that no one has investigated yet or protected my son from yet (to my knowledge), I had organic liver and onions and a lot of amino acid building enzymes and cider vinegar and protein powders and things.

I think my son is being affected and I might put this in a new post, bc someone asked how soon the AG was getting involved. I said I had already started my complaint.

No comments: