Wednesday, January 5, 2011

News Today & Other

Odd happenings...

A few things...I have been planning to get up earlier myself anyway, to take advantage of the gym, however, I am not waking for natural reasons, which may sound strange, but it's not. On Monday morning I woke at 3 a.m. because my back started hurting and there was some kind of technology thing going on. I looked around and a few women were awake while others were soundly snoring.

I got up and using the restroom later, I had something similiar to the tissue thing I had after I left WA for Canada. It wasn't bad, but I noticed, especially bc something else was wrong.

When I saw how much of the events of the day seemed to be staged or kind of pre-planned, I wondered what was going on.

Yesterday, last night, I had nothing happen at all and I slept very well, through the night.

Then this morning, again, at 3 a.m. exactly, I was walking up and getting out of bed because something was going on. Yesterday I walked a very long distance and I was as tired as the day before and I should have slept through the night but I didn't.

Monday, one woman whose son is in the Army...I don't know I sat up to look at her when I woke up at 3 and she was awake already and moved back. I don't know that it was HER, but she was among just a few who were awake then and she's the one who jerked back and went under her covers. All I'm saying, is that I wondered.

I did sort of wonder, what's going on with these other women, though, who also woke at the same time? I don't know.

Then, I have to say, I read the news about birds falling from the sky and dying and this is not a plague from God. That's technology if you ask me. Any normal person from any country, who is aware of the kind of experiments that go on these days, would think this first.

Massive trauma with a large number of birds over a great expanse of sky (or area) translates not into poisoning or anything, but more like something from a satellite or some other kind of new warfare testing or experimentation. It would be more like extremely powerful radio waves or some kind of wave, frequency, or something. Birds do not die from massive trauma while flying without reason. They are intact on the outside and died from something internal that went wrong. The articles admit it had to be a loud noise or something but it's more than just a loud noise, and whatever it was, where birds are falling out, there is probably room for concern.

At any rate, I was planning to get up early on these days anyway, to take advantage of some classes, but there was also something else going on.

On Monday I did sauna, flow yoga, circuit training (with lt. weights), advanced yoga, and then I tried kickboxing. One class right after the other and I knew not to attempt the ab class after kickboxing and I was right!

I knew, from cross country training, not to let it go the next day and work out to prevent the lactic acid build up but I didn't. I walked several miles with someone and helped her get a membership so she could join me sometimes or go on her own, and helped with a few other things. I guess I'll take a tangent and write a little about that and then go back to fitness.

I like her--this woman I went walking with. I am unfortunately on my guard though because she has a Catholic background, but I tried to just be a normal person and enjoy what we were doing and try not to worry too much. I have a right and reason to be very cautious but the time we spent was fun (or challenging) and I tried to think of it as just one day. I'm on my guard becasue if I'm going with someone a certain direction or spending time, why are they wanting to be close to me or will they influence anything that will affect my case with my son, or my life, or my family, negatively. Who are they connected to and are they keeping tabs on me sort of thing. But in general, I spent time with her bc I enjoy her personality and I hoped not everyone is in on the same kind of politics.

I wanted someone to go with me to the FBI offices and she said she would. And then she waited while I checked on some things online and then I waited while she filled out forms for a temp agency. Then I asked if she wanted a guest gym membership and we got her signed up for 2 weeks and then we walked to the FBI offices. On the way back she said her feet hurt but I enouraged her to keep up with me, telling her she could do it and I told her once I had walked around with pus and blood from blisters and if I could do it, she could do it, and she ran and we got there in time. She and I sort of have a similiar personality type in some ways. I think we maybe both fall into one of the more rare personality types. She paid for bus tickets and I paid for fries and was splitting them but she didn't want any.

It had to have been several miles that we walked, all over the place.

I was fine that morning but by afternoon all my muscles were getting stiff.

Then I got back, from being rudely treated by the FBI persons, to being told by a woman at the shelter where I am now basically trapped, that the director said I had to go see a mental health person the next day (today between 9-4:30).

I think they thought I would be so upset that I would walk out because there were no blankets or sheet for my bunk. I think someone was attemping to predict I would not stay there overnight. Not just by that, but by other things.

So I was upset, because after being invalidated by the FBI, they called me into the offices at this shelter, and said I had to meet with so-and-so. I said, "Isn't that a mental health counselor?" and I was told, "No, she's just a regular counselor and advocate." And they said they had no idea why she wanted to talk to me. I said, "When did you get the notice that I had to talk to her?" and she said they hadn't been able to ask her because she left at 4:30 p.m. I had been to the FBI offices at about 2:45 p.m. that day and I think they knew where I was headed with my next question: "What timee did she give you a notice that I had to see her?" and I was told they came on at 2:30 p.m. and they saw it after this time. I don't know who has something to do with what, but my opinion is that if things had gone well with the FBI, there would be NO note that I had to see their counselor.

Am I right Pancho?

So I asked someone else what this woman did, if it wasn't mental health stuff, and the woman said to me, "Oh! ___________? She's the mental health coordinator."

THEN, I went to the restroom and when I came out one of the women staying there, had the entire counter to use for changing her baby's diaper, and I had set my Bible and bottled water at one end of the counter. I came out of the stall, and this woman had put a dirty baby diaper next to, touching, my Bible and water. I said, "Please do NOT put your diaper on my Bible." She said something back to me that was defiant and I would normally walk away but I said, "I am not a doormat and you will NOT do that again." She said, "If you want me to throw you up against the wall, keep talking." I was already walking out and this staff person who has hated me from Day One walked up to me like she already knew what was going on and she said to me, "Get out of here Cameo." I said, "This woman just put a used diaper on my Bible and all I did was say I didn't appreciate it." The staff person said, "She didn't do that." I said, "Yes she did and how would you know when you weren't even there?" and then this staff person said, "THIS IS WHY YOU'RE SEEING _______, BECAUSE YOUUUU THINK EEVVVVEERYONE IS OUT TO GET YOU." This is the same staff person who said she had no idea why I was having to see _______or be forced to leave. THEN, I turned around as I was walking out, and that staff person was giving the dirty-diaper-woman a HUG as they exchanged smirks. I could not believe this. This is not the only thing that staff person has done. And she is the main person who, when I arrived, I sensed and knew right off the bat that she did not want things to go well for me. She has backed off once or twice when she thought I was going to catch up on something or report something. I have no idea what her religious affiliation is but she has never been on my side. Then I went upstairs and this other woman (staff) who has done some odd things with refusing to give me a Bible (in the beginning) or trying to provoke me, ALSO started laughing and joking around with the same dirty-diaper-woman. I could not believe it. I asked for a "bedroll" (blankets and sheets) because there was nothing there. She stalled and stalled and then was trying to humiliate me by telling me, in front of a large group of women, to sit down into a chair so she could talk to me. I said, "If you have something you'd like to discuss, I believe that can be done in private and I'm more than happy to meet with you tomorrow in an office or right now, in an office." She said, "Okay, I won't talk to you right here but I will make sure _____knows about this." I thought "Knows about what?"

Knows about the fact that a few of them find it amusing to try to provoke me?

I felt this whole thing with seeing the counselor after the FBI blow-out was a lot of shit. I told them, "I'm already going to a counselor" (where I have planned on documenting and describing every detail).
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I was going to go to advanced yoga but I have to skip it today. I'm too sore. I thought about it, and I could do kickboxing, because it will be cardio, warm my muscles up, and keep me going through adrenaline. But the advanced yoga is concentration, balance, focus, and strength, and I don't have this right now. I saw the yoga guy, and he's good. All the instructors are good actually, but I am just having to choose one thing I think. Oh I don't know. Maybe I should just try and do what I can anyway.

I got up early this morning and the dry sauna wasn't working so I did the steam room.

More later.

I had peanuts and granola this morning and yesterday I had french fries and a decent breakfast.

This is what I have to do since I don't know what's going on with my benefits.

It's a bunch of shit.

And I need to find out where "the REAL FBI" is because I still have a complaint to make.

Pancho.
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I went to the advanced yoga anyway. It was great and I don't think I could have made a better choice. It worked out more of the stiffness though I'm still sore and a little stiff. It was very balancing too, and this one woman said "calm" and I agree.

I don't know if someone was upset or it was just me and my emotions after writing my last post but we started doing the work and in sort of ballet sense (though I don't know ballet) and this song came on and I almost teared up but didn't. I have no clue why other than that so many things are hard right now. I didn't show anything though and just continued and it was a good work out. I alternated between following the group and listening to her audio commands (she says left but everyone goes right, and sort of did a little of my own attention and then following the group.

It was nice. I might be more tired, for the kickboxing, than anything else.

I was really remembering and feeling alignment and remembering to breathe this time, which helped.

One thing I considered, was that while she was talking about blood flow and everything, and about how pressing against something gives you white knuckles or makes any part of the body white, I thought about my fingernail photos with the white lines in my thumbs and thought maybe I should retake photos without my thumb pressed against my hand, to show that there are reeally white lines from poisoning,, and that it's not from pressure.

Because I think all of my fingernail photos that I posted and sent to the FBI, are with my thumb pressed sort of. The white line with the toenail is not being pressed at all.

At any rate.

I am trying to find out who is in charge of the Nashville, TN offices and what is new--if there have been any new appointments and who was there before--that kind of thing.

I could only find something about a Thomas Browne being appointed to the office as assistant director for training as of yesterday.

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