Swan or Crane & Grant Howi's Fund

. I decided to read a book I have for class, and to read the Bible while in the tub so I took the candle that was burning with me. I guess I prayed first and I had my bookbag there with me. I noticed the flame for the candle wasn't typical, appearing sort of 3-d in form with 3 sides or 4 sides actually bc there was a back to it. It was like the diamond cut flame or prism or some kind of jewelry cut. Seriously. And then it waved around a lot so I put two fingers into the wax, one on either side, and it stopped moving and just shone without movement. So then I was looking at the flame and prayed God might maybe show me something. I didn't know what exactly. But I thought even if I'm not gifted, if God is the maker of the universe and I believe in him, He will do whatever he wants. I got the idea then to burn a paper for some reason. I thought why, what would that reveal? and then thought which one? so I reached into my bag and randomly selected a page inside my notebook and then I looked at it. It was a list of things to do or consider with a line in the middle and just a small amount of writing on either side. It had a very short list of major ideas and then on the other side simply "how is this funded?" So I guess my initial idea was to burn it and whatever remained, to consider. So I thought I wouldn't just burn a flat corner and it was half a page, so I crumpled it up into a tight and small ball. Turned it around several times, having no idea what was inside or where writing was. And then I held it over the flame so it lit just a little and I blew it out and let it smolder. I was sitting in the tub of water at the time. It started to go out and I thought I was blowing it out more but instead it kindled a little and there were different shapes in the paper. Then it began to go to the center. I set it down then, as it was only lightly smoldering and couldn't burn anything and it turned into a swan. I thought, maybe it's a crane but it looks much more like a swan. The front part of the ball, facing me, remained white and then two wings on either side, above it, were up and white. The only part that turned to ashes was the top part and center so it was carving out the shape of a swan. It really was. It even had a little beak. A long neck, beak, and two sides of large wings that didn't burn. When it quit smoldering I gently picked it up and blew and the ashes flew out from the middle and left a swan in paper form in my hand. I was looking at it and then I accidentally dropped it and it landed in the tub of water. It landed in the water on the bottom side, with neck and wings upright, but because it bobbed a little, a little bit got wet. I took it out immediately and it was still intact, perfectly, except the water had the beak more obvious. One strange thing that happened, right before it stopped burning, when I had set it down in a corner, was that the little bit of fire caused the neck of the swan to snap. The head snapped to one side, with a sound of snap, two times. It didn't just snap, it moved abruptly that way. Facing me, it snapped to my left, but if you were behind the swan, it snapped to the right. Right after it snapped like that, it stopped burning. The flame was out completely. That's when I had then picked it up and then it dropped into the water. So I decided to carefully unfold it and it unfolded into a T shape. It is a perfectly symmetrical T. Stem and two sides on the top of equal length. T. The edges are slightly curvy from being burned but it's a definite T. So I looked to see where words were. At first I saw absolutely nothing. And then I saw "Grant" and then I had to look and on the other side, "Howis fu" (fu as part of fund). The How and is got stuck together with no space so it reads "Howis" like a man's name. Howies. It doesn't read with a space, as in "How is", it reads, "Howis". If I try hard to make out more of the letters it might be "ch Grant Howis fu". There is a space between ch Grant and Howis fu. But I pretty much read it as "grant Howies fund" in a sense, but wondered if just "fu" means something or what it meant at all. For me, I guess, I have serioualy been thinking of putting together a non-profit and know it's something I'm going to do, so seeing words like grant and thinking about fund makes sense to me. But something else was very weird about it, that didn't seem to have anything to do with ME at all. I thought about my mother dropping the swan they had, or how it was broken somehow and I tried to glue it together or help fix it. I think it was one of the roses that came off but my mother would remember more. It may have been a split. I think I remember a line through the swan. On my paper that turned into a swan, there was a line in the middle. I sort of thought about Edward Howard, former CIA whose neck was broken in 2002 in Russia while he was trying to negotiate something with the U.S. My grandfather died the same time and I don't think it was an accident. I guess seeing the neck snap that way, made me think of it, combined with "howi". But, other associations would be I've had a broken neck? My uncle howard who died who went by "howie" as a kid? my Great Uncle Howie who was killed in Seattle? The paper swan in the water...to a T. I could say it was a crane but cranes wings are a little lower maybe? these ones stayed high and sort of rounded, like a swan. I might have to check to see if there is a difference in paper but it looked like a swan to me, more rounded. The neck was sort of cranish, bc it didn't burn out this spindly neck, but it was long and kind of tilted and had a head with a beak. That's how it burned. After that, I looked at the candle again and noticed one side of the wick is black and the other side of the wick is silver. I bathed in the ashes of the paper swan and didn't care. The ashes dissolved and nothing felt weird about it. So then I read some psalms and different passages and other things stood out to me but the part I thought might mean something to someone, was the part about the swan. I laid the T out onto the ground. I don't usually crumple up paper and watch it burn. I mean, not into a design or form like that. Sort of strange hm? What else is strange, is a few days ago my Dad kept asking me, "How is it funded? Do you know who is funding it?" How is it funded.