UPDATED: Be Gone Nuts (or Peek On Nuts)

  It was "Pecan nuts" that the Dicksie said to me as she cut my line to kill me and have one of the Roberts, Valerie Plame, and others pick me up.

I was wondering if it was the note with "Be Happy" or that, because later at the house she or the other Dicksie did the other, and I wondered because I needed a scrap of paper and I got one from my pocket and then wrote on it, what she had said.

She flicked it at me with some kind of dust, and I held my breath because I thought it was maybe a poison.  It was definitely something because I coughed as I caught a little bit of it even though I held my breath.  It was some kind of a dust or material that caused my throat to seize up a little and caused coughing.  I don't know how I knew to hold my breath, but I did and then she looked shocked when I was able to speak. 

I still had my voice even to shout, "Dad".  It is possible that if I had not held my breath, the material in the dust could have prevented me from being able to vocalize temporarily. 

When at the entrance of the helicopter, she said to Valerie, "Be Joy" as if to say, pretend you're Joy and then they started calling her that and I said, "Where's Joy?" because I had thought I had seen her and I said, "Why are you calling Valerie Joy?" 

When I was sitting there, I got out this scrap of paper I had in my pocket, randomly, because I sometimes kept scraps in my pocket, to write on. It was totally by chance I had one in my pocket that day and I had memorized what my mother had said prior to cutting my line to kill me.  I asked for a pen and wrote down "This is Agent ___________" and then wrote down the rest of what she had said out loud, not really to me as much, I thought, as to someone on a wire or through some bug--it sounded like a relay to NSA or an intelligence group.  She said "This is Agent ___________" and then listed some different names and said, "I'm cutting the line" and then, more to me she said, "Peek on nuts" and my heart sank when she said this to me.  My heart sank because in a split second she had revealed her occupation, a code, and that she was cutting the line and then as a last measure, she insulted me.  I thought, "Oh my gosh.  I didn't know she hates me."  We got into fights, and yes, she was electrocuting me with Alan Springer (one of them was) but I had no idea she really hated me. 

I am positive there was a kind of biological chemical of some kind with the nut she threw down the opening of my shirt because I saw it.  It wasn't just a nut, it was a small cloud of other dust that expanded, not like nut dust or something.  I held my breath as long as I could and saw the cloud go past me, and even then, when I breathed in, it was only a quick breath to not inhale too much and to shout "Dad" and then they all freaked out.  I think they thought I was supposed to have my vocal cords temporarily paralyzed so that after the line was cut I couldn't say anything at the last minute that might have been damaging.  I still coughed and had my vocal cords do something from the dust but I had avoided most of it.  I think they were worried I had said "Dad" out loud, and then I was saying "Forrest!"  It switched from my Dad, one of the Roberts, to someone else I thought was Forrest.  They changed seats.  James Cartright is a possibility but my initial impressions were of my Dad and Forrest, because I was not around James that much or others who resembled.  Also, the man who was a passenger changed seats to be replaced by another man who looked like him.  It went from a man who looked like one of my OSU professors I'd had, John Lambrinos, to a Secret Service agent I've met.  I heard one of the names as "Scott" and it sounded like my Dad was talking from the ground and like he got punched but maybe it was his own act.  I don't know.  He got punched or kicked when he said a name out loud.  However, the Robert I saw coming around the corner looked hardened, grim, and determined, like he knew what he was doing. Maybe both Roberts were there.   It was a large helicopter.  It looked like it had maybe 4-6 seats at least in the cockpit section and then there was a main area with at least 8-10 seats or more and a bathroom at the tail end.  One of the names was John, and it did look like John Lambrinos.  When I saw him I thought, "What is my professor doing on that helicopter????"  There were no fewer than 5-6 men in the front.  One man looked around the corner briefly and then back and he looked like Ross from Canada.  I didn't see him sitting down, just looking around the corner with only his head and face showing.

At first I wondered if she was identifying me as the Agent and I think she identified me another way, but for herself she said "This is Agent" which implies FBI, not CIA.  Maybe they call some CIA people "agents" but typically, a CIA employee is called an "Officer" from what I've been told and heard, and FBI agents are "agents".  Valerie Plame was there and she was CIA.  So if my mother or this specific Dicksie was an FBI Agent, and Valerie Plame was CIA, and they were in a U.S. property military helicopter, it was all agencies that had participants who tried to assassinate me:  CIA, FBI, and Pentagon.

When I was sitting down I picked the pecan out and said out loud, to my Mom and Valerie, as I was sitting behind them, "Why did you throw a nut down my shirt" and they looked at each other and smirked.  I had on a shirt that was sleeveless and had a deep v neck and it was black and I remembered noticing they made fun of me and rolled their eyes to see I had unbuttoned it or rolled up my sleeves or had more skin showing.  It was a v down to about my sternum.  I saw Valerie Plame take her daughter to some public event, with her daughter wearing a black dress designed the way my shirt had been done, and then Katie's neckline for her wedding was the same and she wore "nut" earrings.

I wrote down the full statement my mother had made and it was a very big deal and then it was stolen.  I repeated what I had written down though, out loud, at the house.  Later she got out paper and wrote something on it and then was tossing papers into my shirt and I read one and it said "Be Happy" and I said, "Why are you writing this?  to try to confuse me about how you said to Valerie, "Be Joy"?"

The way my Mom said "Pecan Nuts" sounded like "Be Gone Nuts" with the emphasis she gave it.  She also used some foreign language phrase women who tortured me used to terrify me before they cut into me with knives and did other forms of torture.

I think they really tried to kill me because I saw all of the money, and I know who Valerie works for and she was mad I said I didn't want to be in the CIA, and there was the biological cloud of dust that paralyzed voices and caused sudden loss of speech (my voice wasn't dry, it was something else because I was coughing), and my Mom didn't seem to like how I stuck my foot into a groove that was loose where dirt was falling out from and was able to hold on and then she sort of moved her foot at me to get me to flinch but I held my position.  

I don't know why I did this, but because I saw the dust, I held my breath and then shouted for help the minute I could because I didn't want to breathe in residue but some of it was probably on my shirt.

I did see Joy there, but she went to the back out of sight.  She was one who was shocked I was still there.  I have no idea who was in charge of the cars parked at the top of the cliffs.  I had the idea when I saw the helicopter, they were all going to fly out of the country.  Oh, and yeah, there was a body bag in the helicopter, or a zip-up.  It wasn't really noticeable but I saw one was available should anyone need one.  I don't know why I thought they'd fly out of the country, because it was a U.S. property helicopter, but it was this feeling I had because where else were they taking the money?  I knew Joy flew internationally and so did  Dicksie and Robert, and so did Valerie, who I met first in London.
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UPDATED:  I am updating here because I briefly thought Ross looked around the corner and didn't sit but actually I believe he was the one on the other side, before John Lambrinos possibly.  He was there quickly for a moment and then not.  There was someone who looked around the corner as well.  If Ross, if it's true that was him, the same one I met in Canada again, was there, it implies either he is FBI, working as counter-intelligence in Canada, CIA, or just a colluding and corrupt Canadian that was taking U.S. money in bribes.