My Psychoanalysis of Princess Di

It may be an odd time to do it, but I want to write my theory about Princess Diana now. Hmm...After I get my coffee I think!

First of all, I think too much has been made of her early childhood. Her brothers and sisters had the same childhood and were not affected in an outstanding way. Diana came into her marriage, and her role, I believe, absolutely healthy.

What made Diana unique from the outset was, first, her personality. If she was truly an "INFP", then she had the most rare of all the personality types. INFPs are only 1% of the entire population, and this includes both men and women. She would have been, and felt, "different" from an early age. She also would have been misunderstood, and her own immediate family may have felt she was somehow different from them as well.

I am trying to write this without projecting myself too much, as I come from a similiar basic background.

The second thing that made her unique was her social class. It wasn't exactly "rare", but she was raised to "behave" and conduct herself in a particular manner. One of decorum and unwritten rules. It is not unlike one who is raised with strict "Christian" morals and rules for conduct. Both demand self-sacrifice to some degree, or the show of such, and good manners is the basic rule of treating others by The Golden Rule (do unto others as you would have done to you). It means being modest, and at the same time, not noticing one's "modesty". More than anything, it requires one to relinguish the individual will and liberties to a proscribed set of rules--it requires one to "conform". Be your own person, in some ways, but conform to the will of the group, not the individual.

Luckily for Diana, her personality was already one which enjoyed being with people and serving others. It wasn't difficult for her to bend to the needs of others. The problem was that she was strong-willed beneath it all, and at some point, the endless sacrifices didn't seem to square right with her, I think. She gave up so much of herself, and yet didn't get the support she felt she deserved. I think it was inevitable. She was set up to fall. At least, to fall from the pedestal she was put upon.

Diana was also an artist. She was not just an art "appreciator". What she actually became is not as important as what she wanted to do. If she wanted to be a ballerina, her dream was to be an artist. Part of her temperment was natural for the artistic and creative type. She was a humanitarian, but this is what she did for others, externally. Within, she was a true artist. What took away from this was the role of "princess". Princess will always trump "artist". At least, with others, it will. It overshadows who the person is--necessarily, because a "princess" is not simply a "job", it is used to describe the actual person. It would make the artist take a seat behind.

If you look at Diana's handwriting, it is not the writing of an airhead. Or of a simple, good hearted or good natured "humanitarian". Her writing is economical but with creative flourish. It shows her strong intelligence in the way she alters and shortens or changes her letters of the alphabet to fit the fast workings of her mind. Her writings also show stability and consistency. She was not as "changeable" as some have said, but if and when she was harassed or felt harassed, I am sure she did have a temper. Which would have been natural for her strong-willed and artistic temperment.

The inconsistencies of character were not so much within herself as they were viewed as inconsistencies with her role. I think she was highly intelligent, far moreso than most have given her credit. The subservient and humanitarian role of healer and nurse and servant influences public and common perspective of intelligence. It is thought someone may have a very good "heart" to do such work, but may not need to be particularly brilliant. And yet I think she was both, and when she was interested in a subject, she was able to prove this by immersing herself and learning a subject thoroughly. When she became interested in the field mines, she was able to blend both her activism and concern with her intellectual abilities. She became passionate enough about it to apply herself, and in doing preliminary research, came across information which both shocked and spurred her on, to know more. She was engaged, and some did not like the fact that she had become so engaged.

She was not only persuasive, and had a way with people, she was smart. She had the ears of the world besides, which has been said before, and is something everyone knows. She was a woman who had become a problem. Not because she had "mental problems" but because she was getting involved in things she should not know about.

Most people underestimated her, but there were a few who did not. They were fully aware of the possible implications. Back to Diana's personality and some of the allegations of mental illness and her patterns...

In addition to the complications with being both a princess and an artist, was Diana's marriage. She couldn't fulfill the desire she had to be an artist in the capacity she wanted for herself, but princess did have an appeal. It probably appealed to her artistic nature in the sense that it was dramatic and a somewhat "dream-like" role. The fairytale included her, and she was part of theatre afterall, even if it wasn't the stage she had first imagined for herself. Fairytales are creations. They are works of art, of literature, and they carry with them a quality of beauty and removal from the ordinary.

I wouldn't say she was interested in the idea of attention as much as the idea that she could make a difference, and that something beautiful could come of it as well. She probably thought she could have her artistic interests and set her will to the side, for the sake of a role she didn't realize would eventually become too much of "a role". She wanted to live the fairytale and live a real marriage, not act a bit part in a protracted drama.

When she attempted to blend both the artist and herself, within her "role", she was pushed down. She was told she must conform and instructed as to what was proper and improper.

When she married, she was a virgin. She was strong-willed and passionate, but she had kept certain codes for herself and felt she would reap the reward. But instead of love, she found herself in the middle of a triangle. Her passions had been aroused, and then put to shelf, and she was expected to take it, exactly the way it was. Had Diana found the intimacy and sexual fulfilment within her own marriage, I do not believe she would have ever looked outside of her marriage for anything. She was certaintly not a slut, but with her husband's attentions clearly withdrawn, and being a woman of flesh and blood, she finally became resigned to the idea that there was no hope. She held out, for a very, very, long time, I think. And this only angered her more.

Her bulimia was not because of her childhood. She was told she was putting on weight, and in an effort to control her environment and take some kind of control over her life, she did what many models too. She had her cake, and thought she could eat it too. My opinion is that her relationship with her immediate family was never extremely strong to begin with, because she had always been "different" and that when they questioned her, she pushed them away because they truly DIDN'T understand. When she became bulimic, it became an excuse for everything. It was used to discredit her, and she knew it. She knew which came first, the chicken or the egg. Her problems began after disillusionment set in, after she had taken a position within royalty, and married a prince who had loved another woman from the start. I do not believe Diana was given the truth from the outset. I think she wondered and had suspicions, but I think she doubted herself too much to trust her instincts. She may have even thought she could change her husband, or that he would change on his own--that he "cared" about her and was physically attracted, but that perhaps he could even "fall in love" with her, and love who she was and even her mind. She never got that emotional commitment from him.

I think Charles always knew he had married an artist (he was a bit of an artist himself)--he just didn't realize the extent of it.

(to be continued)

This, I believe, was the root of their problem. They were too much alike to be complimentary. He didn't want her to be an artist. He wanted her to be the mother-figure and healer and he needed the attention Camilla, the non-artist, could give him. Camilla had her feet on the ground while Diana wanted to fly. Charles was a painter, and found his audience and reviews but he didn't approve of the more "dramatic arts". He felt they made Diana a spectacle. Painting was a subdued, quiet, and private pursuit. Dancing was more of a performance art and she had the ability to express herself, dancing or not, to an audience. It wasn't her humanitarian work, it was the artistic conflict. They both had artist egos. Am I right? Camilla was just an art appreciator and happened to align her tastes to his style and preferences. Diana didn't have this. The people loved her for her work, and this made a difference to her because at least she was appreciated. She could allow her own artistic sensibilities to take that backseat because she knew she was making a difference on a humanitarian level, and there was no room for other forms of expression. She surrounded herself with artists/musicians because she was an artist. She was not, I repeat, just an art appreciator. She was, and embodied, the artistic spirit. Her creativity hasn't been seen by the public because much of her talent lay in performance art, and she was not given a stage on which to perform. Charles paints and the public can see evidence of art, but without documentation of Di's creativity, it is difficult for some to understand that she was truly an artist, and a creative artist as well, who was stifled by her role. Charles wanted a Queen--not a Drama Queen.

It would be interesting to know whether their children are also artists. Both are very active, and I read once that Harry tried his hand at painting. William studied Art History. Both have obviously been influenced by their parents, and I would venture a guess that their inclinations are not merely the product of acquiring an education, or culture, but that one or both may also have this artistic temperment. For men, I think, it would be even slightly more difficult, because in their roles, reservation would have a tendency to be more "respectable". Maybe they will go for women who are artistic in some way, to mete their own leanings. I don't know, random ramblings now...

Back to Diana, I don't think she was mentally ill, ever, except in her bulimia. And even this, I think was due to her circumstances and not the result of some disorder. If she was ever depressed, it would have been within reason to be so. If ever anxious, within reason. Her tempers, the normal result of being confined, pressured, harassed, and of a passionate and artistic nature. The isolation and tendency to cut people off, the result of knowing people could be false and didn't understand her. The claims by some that she was "increasingly paranoid" is not, I don't think, indicative of mental illness. This woman was highly intuitive, and she knew something wasn't "right" more than once. I believe she had the ability to pick up on things without knowing exactly what it was. In an attempt to figure out what it was that she was picking up on, she expressed her concerns to others who did not share her intuitive capabilities. Diana was extremely idealistic and was let down--this resulted in normal reactions which were consistent with her personality type and survival tactics. She was not unreasonably paranoid because she DID have people trying to monitor her phone calls, and correspondence, and trying to get information out of her. She also had people she was close to, die after they threatened to "talk" about certain situations. Throughout history, politicians, presidents, kings and queens, activists, and anyone who has ever threatened a particular group with knowledge or potential to change the status quo...these people have been targeted, defamed, assassinated, and tortured. Over time, the tactics and strategies for killing off ones opponent do not change, they become perfected.

Diana's questions and concerns were all reasonable. She also died just a couple of weeks after a dossier she had done research for, was released. She also stated she knew about some things which were damaging to others. She believed she was being monitored and may be attacked. How do we know this is paranoia? We have no conclusive evidence that her beliefs were NOT true.

I, personally, have not gone through her dossier and researched what she learned about land or field mines. How many journalists have? I have not researched all her contacts and their religious affiliations, and historically, religion of all forms has led, sometimes, to horrible crimes. Sometimes the worst enemy is one closest to us. Just throwing it out there, but what do we really know of Paul Burrell? Other than that he gained her trust and after she died he wrote a huge book about her? Was it capitalization? Why did she have other writers emphatically declaring she was NOT "in love" with Dodi, thereby trying to remove motives for certain things?

Sometimes the best justice system doesn't do justice. One would think that the Princess of Wales has had a very thorough examination into all possible conspiracies. I know her sons expressed a wish to let her rest in peace and to put an end to all the questions. While they say this, however, I know they still wonder. William, in particular, has expressed his wish for anyone who feels they have information to come forward. He wouldn't extend this offer, while stating a wish to bring closure to things, if he did not himself feel something wasn't right, and have an instinctive belief in his mother's capacity for good judgment. Harry, I'm sure, feels the same.

Whether or not something happened other than an "accident", Diana was right to be concerned about her safety and the safety of her sons. She wasn't paranoid. She had reason to be concerned and "felt" something was amiss. That's good enough for me. I think it's best to give someone the benefit of a doubt in these matters and it is a gross assumption to think she was mentally ill and that all the talk of this isn't or has not been an attempt to discredit her.

Her own family and her husband's family could be pressured to believe the same, and to not understand her.

I read about Diana's supposed "exultation" in thinking Tiggy had an abortion, and wonder first how many people were feeding her misinformation and hoping she would believe or repeat it, in order to make her look bad. I also wonder if any emotion of the sort were expressed, if it was not provoked first by years and decades of repeated abuse and harassment and threats of taking her children from her. I wonder if her jealousies were not intentionally provoked and encouraged.

I do not believe she was ever "mentally ill". Bulimia, yes, and probably mild PTSD from years of harassment and pressure. That would be my guess. And I would guess, it was situational and would have disappeared altogether had she lived. That could have been proof in itself that the claims were confabulation and/or fabrication.

The thing is, people too often take an experts word for the truth. People doubt themselves and their ability to uncover the truth on their own. Diana wasn't afraid to do this, and I would hope someone else, or others, are willing to do the same. To discover what is real, you have to do the research yourself and trust where it leads. You cannot rely on the interpretations and analysis of others. It would be presumptive. Experts can be wrong, they can lie, and they can be corrupt.

I opened up this post while listening to Shawn Colvin's "These Four Walls" and halfway through I decided to listen to Duran, Duran, who I have heard is one of Diana's favorite bands. I haven't listened to them since I was a little girl. So I selected "Come Undone" from the songlist, not knowing what any of these songs sounded like. It opened with the music and then the images underwater and of the woman in chains, trying to free herself. Very good music and video. She had good taste.