Money Stolen AGAIN

I swear to God, I am pursued by theives and robbers.

I cannot wait for Ladygaga to be in D.C. I really, really, like her. I like her song "Boys, Boys, Boys" too. If I'm able to be in town, I will go to her concert. So excited for her and for her next moves as well. She is one of my very favorite new artists. I am listening to "Pokerface" now. It's one of my favorites.

As for my money being stolen AGAIN, Exxon gave me a little more money and I had it in my purse right before we were at the courthouse to apply for our marriage license. I realize I really have feelings for him and everything, but it's also expedient to be married at this time in my life and for him as well. Non-zero-sum, I hope. I HOPE!!!!

But FUCK. Someone is ON MY ASS. We didn't even have time to apply for that license today.

WHY?!!!! Because I swear to God, some kind of fucking mafia is on my ass, OR someone just wants me to be broke my whole life, with NOTHING.

We got so distracted, trying to figure out where the money went, that we lost time in applying. I didn't know what to do and it was closing time by the time we'd collected ourselves and had searched everything. Everything. Somewhere, from the car to the bathroom to the library or something, someone stole my money again.

Last night, it was money from my purse when I was at Starbucks, and today, it was money from my purse again but I don't know how the hell it happened unless some woman came in when I was peeing and took it. I set my purse on the counter bc I had to go so bad and I didn't think anyone would take it. I don't know. Then I was in the law library for awhile and I talked to one lady but that was it.

So we were looking in the car, in pockets and everything. I got pissed though, because Exxon wanted to search ME, and DID, and I thought, after that, and after he said maybe he should take me to a motel...I thought "WHAT THE HELL?" So how much does he really "te gusta me" if that's the way he acts. I didn't search HIS pockets. I obviously trust him more than he trusts me. So I told him I think we might need to scale this back a little and have a candlelight dinner or something and really figure things out. Matters from the heart, ya know??

He acted like I had LOST my own money or something. So he's checking me high and low, and fucking followed ME to the WOMEN'S bathroom and made me pull down my pants. I said, "WHAT are you DOING?!!!" what the FUCK. Then, he said, "Well, if I wasn't going to marry him that minute (again), that he'd take me to a hotel. After he did that, I told the police I wanted to get my bags out of his car and wanted an escort. What was weird was that they acted like HE had ownership of my bags and they were only going to help me get my own property if HE consented! I told them it's women's clothing and MY STUFF, but for some reason, they thought it was fine for HIM to keep my property. Which was bizarre, if you ask me.

So when HE said I could have my things, they nodded. ?!!!???!!! What the hell. I've never heard of that before. So I made him leave me with my bags on the sidewalk and I tried calling a women's shelter but then I decided to give him a call and find out what the fuck is going on.

One minute he's telling me he LIKEs me AND he LOVES me. He said, too, when he gave me a little money, he said, "If you love me, you'll marry me without the money." I said, "If you love me, you'll want to give me the world." But I said it in Spanish.

He said, in English, "If you love me, you'll marry me without the money."
I said, in Spanish, "Si tu tienes amo por mi, tu quieres damame el mundo."

Anyway, it was no big deal, just a small gift, because he knew someone ELSE had stolen all my money from the hotel room.

Then, when someone had stolen the money, he suddenly said he would get more from the bank and then he SWITCHED and said he didn't have anymore money and he pretended to cry. He even said, "Todo mi vida! I work for this money! mi hijo!" and then he corrected himself to saying "Mi hiJA!" I thought he didn't seem really like he was seriously sad, he seemed more aggravated. My nerves were shot so I just kept laughing, saying I had such "mi vida esta loca!" It was the situation where you would think you'd be sobbing but instead, you're cracking up hysterically.

But what I didn't understand was how he had more money and then had no money and it was his whole life or something. I don't know. But I said, instead of just breaking it all up, hey, why don't we just talk about all of this and maybe we need more time to decide how we feel about all of this.

I suggested we go to a restaurant and he said we couldn't so I said why don't we have a candlelit dinner? He stared at me, looking like a bull.

So then he said he DID want a little more time, with us both pulling our weight as boyfriend and girlfriend and then he said NO! why didn't I want to marry him the very next day, with no money at all? And I said, after the hotel talk, I sort of thought maybe we need a little more "time". ?

I told him I DO want to marry him, but my situation was a little strange and maybe we should go at it from a different angle. So then he was acting like it was weird I just wanted to marry him for love and nothing else, with just a little more time. He even said, no he didn't want that. So then I was suspicious as to why NOT?

I told him he didn't trust me, because he was checking for money in my underwear, and did he really want to marry someone he didn't trust? So, maybe we should trust eachother more. He had forgotten what the word "trust" means. So we got the dictionary out and we read up on it.

I am confused by some of his reactions and maybe he was confused about some of my reactions. I don't know. But I thought, if he likes me, why give up if I don't want to marry instantly? And I'm not saying I DON'T, either, but I just wanted to talk more and figure this out.

I mean, I don't want to be in something, where, if something happens to the finances, I'm being turned into a hotel or something. And he should want to trust me completely, or at least mostly. Right?

Then, he said, I knew people there at the courthouse. I said, "Yeah right. YOU"RE the one they fucking KNOW." I told him I saw lawyers and other people there looking at him with recognition. He denied this.

Anyway, we may end up going tomorrow for the license. I told him I might be open to it. I do think he cares about me, but I got some mixed messages and I'm pissed that the money disappeared again.

I have my fucking belongings disappearing from me all the time. I kid you not, and I told him I thought it was odd some of my make-up and underwear had disappeared from our house. One bottle of Estee Lauder foundation, the whole thing was new but it went missing. A few pairs of underpants too...? I know Exxon would do nothing with them. Once I came home and a journal entry about a love of my life was on the top of my purse. Like someone had positioned it there purposefully, for me to remember. No one in the house would take my face make-up I know, and no one has the same skin color that I have. So I thought that was a little odd.

All of my black underwear are gone, and one pair of white underwear is gone too. And Exxon would know if I were up to do some sleepwalking.

Love this! just came on again "Pokerface".

I could seriously use a drink tonight. Exxon said it was a really bad day for him. I think we should hit up the liquor store. I want to go dancing tonight.

At least I did find a legal library, at that courthouse, and I think I should or could go there and do some legal research for fixing the problem in Hyattsville and maybe, possibly, other states? I don't know if they have journals and law books for other states but I could at least look.

I haven't found a law library anywhere and wouldn't go to Georgetown after the last time I was there. But I think? Rockville may be closer? I don't know, but it might be the closest one to me.

My life SUCKS but I sure like ME!

I really like The Kooks "Shine On"! It's such a good song. and I like the accent. I love how he sings the word "beautiful".

Saw a Steve-o today, from CA, and he looked SO familiar. I've seen him a couple of times outside of Maryland somehow but I don't know where. I am trying to place him, still.