Blessings and Trials

If I ever had a "bipolar" day, today would be the day. Highs and lows, but natural, from the realization of many things.

The song "You Raise Me Up" by Celtic Woman came to mind and I am playing it.

I have gone through every possible emotion today. From being pissed and triumphant that I got a news "bit", before a newspaper (and the pissed part is not at the paper but came out bc I am pissed about what has happened to me and my son)...to being elated that some things are coming together, to laughing over being "nuked" which is just hilarious, to the sobering reality of what has been done, and thinking about my son.

I couldn't look for a job really, but the blessing is that one came to me. It may be small, but it's a job and today, I didn't even have the wherewithal to follow through and look after the facts of what happened to me and my son became more apparent.

I can see, but through a glass darkly. I don't know the whole story. Not yet at least.

Also, I think maybe I'm able to stay here a little longer, because she said I could walk to work from here. From here! So I think they may allow me to stay here a little bit until I have enough. Or, I would even pay them rent for this. It's this adorable little garrett, a little upper room attic-apartment that is separate but joined to the house. Really cute, and a room with a view. Made me think of the Merchant Ivory production "Room With A View" and then also, Virginia Woolf's "A Room Of One's Own" (or is it "of her own?"). Cozy english decor with some other international accents. My favorite part is the desk near the window with the view overlooking a garden and the hills.

Guess what my job is? making crepes! and doing a little catering for private parties. I sort of asked since I was there and then the owner came in and I later found out my housemate said she wrote a really good review about this place.

We're going to an art walk tonight. Good idea. I usually would stay in, in this mood, but it would be better to go out and looking at art sounds like something I would enjoy right now.

Hayley Westenra's "Dark Waltz" is beautiful. I might have to play this one again and try to sing it myself. This is one of my favorite new songs...that I've heard, in a long time. I've never heard her, or this song either. My housemate came in and said, "kiri te kanawa?" and I said, "Oh! it does sound like her!" I can see that. She has a very pure and clear high soprano. Her high notes are the most striking. Then, housemate (HM or HRM, my new nickname for her), said maybe she's Irish? but she's from New Zealand. I think we're leaving in a minute. I don't know what to wear.

I have nothing to wear!

I told HRM about her nickname and she loves it. Like Her Royal Majesty I said, but Her Royal Housemate. I told her I had to give her a nickname to conceal her identity.

I am wearing her nail polish today...it's "Malaga Wine" and looks good. I need to do something to myself. She's ready to go. There is this song, "Scarlet Inside"...oh the last one was gorgeous too...but this Scarlet one made me think about what she said about me, she said it was like I was The Scarlet Letter.