I spoke with a psychologist about doing a psych evaluation for me. He seems okay. I don't think he'd be a harm but he doesn't typically do evaluations for the Wenatchee court and CPS people. I think that's good. He still does things for the state, but hasn't thrown in an MMPI and other tests for awhile but said he'd be willing to do it for me if I chose him and the state paid him for this. He said the MMPI is additional cost so he just needs to be compensated. I said I was sure that would be fine.
The only thing is, I think he believes people are mentally ill, too quickly, potentially. But it's not bad necessarily. I don't know. I talked to him for 5 minutes and he was asking me if I knew what "bipolar" was. I said yes and he said, it's common with people who have pressured or rapid speech. But he threw this out after hearing me for a few minutes, and I don't think it's reasonable to assume because someone talks fast, it means they're bipolar. I told him I didn't believe I was, that I always talked fast, and had my entire life, and I'd always had a lot of energy. Not only that, to be bipolar, you have to have serious lows and depression, which I have not had. The only depression I had was over what the state did with my son, which is normal. I never swing between the emotions, ever. I am almost always very even-keel, which is usually, pretty happy no matter what my circumstances are. I was voted "Most Enthusiastic" in the yearbook. It's because I enjoy life in general and I have many interests to be enthused about.
So, bipolar really isn't an option. It would be 'nice' to try to make that fit, but it doesn't. One may be highly creative, enthusiastic, driven, and verbose, and happy or humorous too, and not be manic or bipolar. One may be inspired, have insights, and have flashes of intuition or "vision" for something and not be delusional as well.
I also think this guy is a little bit into medication for everything and there is nothing wrong with me. He was trying to say bipolar illness is highly treatable.
Sorry, but I would not "treat" my imagination and mind, with medication. I am not impulsive nor am I dangerous to myself or society, and I don't binge shop, eat, drink, or do anything, and if someone wanted to pigeonhole me with something simply because they don't understand artists or the ability to make lemonade out of lemons, on the fly, they are not the psychologist for me.
I still think this one might be okay, because he's open-minded in many ways. But I don't want someone who is just insistent there MUST be something wrong. If there's NOT, I feel, deal with it. You know, it takes a lot of kinds of people to make a world go round, and if some feel I put a door-stop in their revolving door around themselves because I write and NOTICE things, then...well, it's just not my problem. I wouldn't be the one who needs counseling. When I think about it, all of the heartache which could have been resolved peacefully could have just amounted to all these highly sensitive individuals going into therapy themselves, to heal themselves without needing to injure others.
Sigh. I am told there are only two other psychologists in town. Roe, who is booked, and a new guy named John Fishburg. I think I've had enough fish-connections to last me a lifetime. I tried to look him up and I can't even find him.
I may just go to Maryland and get this done. I'm talking to someone about it tomorrow.
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