From the time my son was removed from me, my parents wanted to know where I was living or staying with and if I ever brought up a doctor they acted weird about it and wanted to know where I was going.
In the meantime, I didn't have foodstamps and only got by on the food that was made for me or given to me by others. During this time, I had people specifically trying to get me to eat a particular dish and then at the same time, my period which had come back in Canada inially, and looked "normal" had withered to almost nothing, to why I honestly thought I was in perimenopause.
I figured it was from the effects of what my son and I had been through, because I lost hair and my periods quit altogether there. It may be, that this did have an effect on my periods. However, I also remember wondering if people were putting things in my food--something which caused me to practically not have a period.
What I noticed, which made me wonder more, was that the few times where I refused to eat what was given me and bought my own food (I was working) my period seemed to make more of a return and then when Alvaro left, my period was back like normal and I was eating food I bought myself or with foodstamps.
My periods were so normal, it made me wonder what was going on.
The other thing I noticed, is that the two times where I was buying my own food and my period started to return--these were also times where people almost immediately began to harass me and go out of their way to do bizarre things or make it look like I was getting orders wrong or there was something wrong with ME.
So this made me wonder why, all of a sudden, such an interest in making me out to be a total nut, but only when I'm eating my own food, and my periods have returned. It made it appear to me that there was great interest in making a big show about those few occasions. Given all the doctors, psychologists, and military who came by to talk with me at length, in DC and in WA (initially but not later) also made me wonder.
I don't know if I was on birth control without my knowledge and consent or if someone was giving me something else, even lithium or some kind of other medication, without my knowledge and consent..
I remember, while still on the East Coast, having one conversation with Michelle Erickson, after the Department refused to take my calls for over 3 months. She said to me, "You sound different. You sound calmer. Are you on medications?" and I said no I was not, and she knew very well that I was the same with her in that moment as I'd always been.
This also made me wonder why she was trying to imply I was different then when I was not. I wasn't any different at all, but I wondered why some people wanted to make it sound like I was.
I first wondered if people were giving me something to counteract the effects of what had happened to me and my son, but didn't tell me because they couldn't for some reason. Maybe that's true too. I don't believe I was given "drugs" of any kind ever, like recreational drugs. But I have wondered about something else because of the reactions of others and I don't know.
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