Neopolitan Ice Cream & Vanilla

For some reason, while waking up, I thought about something my friend Christa had asked me about at one point. She asked whether I liked chocolate, strawberry, or vanilla ice cream best. I said I like neopolitan.

Then she wanted to know, this was years and years ago, at least 8 years ago or more, she asked about some other things, and we were from some reason talking about our parents and I was saying I felt different sometimes because my mom and dad liked things that were pretty "vanilla" and she thought this was funny and made mention of it several times. So she started to refer to them as vanilla.

So here I am, in Wenatchee years later and I had people bringing up the ice cream comparison again, and then some guy is going with a nickname of "vanilla" and my Dad later seems to know some of the people in the town but I wonder if he really knows all that I know with the history of what information people have been digging out of me for years. I don't know if my own Dad knows who his enemies and daughter's enemies are.

This was all during, or in the middle of, the Abbey litigation stuff. What was strange, was I had never heard anyone use this phrase again, or even make ice cream comparisons, until I came back to Wenatchee from the East Coast, just this year.

Many other things, like this, have come up again too. It is like everything I said almost a decade ago, got recorded and memorized and filed away, and then someone decided to contruct an elaborate plan around it, using parts and pieces to try to later refresh my memory and usually, in the context of my being screwed over.

If she didn't say anything, I believe we even emailed about this and other topics and talked over the phone, and I am very sure that even then, I had people trying to get information about what I was doing and saying. The only thing I had going on which was "sensitive" at all, was that litigation. But all of those things have come full circle.

I remember temping for someone in Portland, Oregon and this was after telling Christa the worst job would be to just sit in a chair and stick labels on folders all day. So all of a sudden I was signing up to work for a temp agency and got a job and all she had me do was stick labels on different colored folders, all day, and she kept making a big deal about the story of "The Count of Monte Cristo" and big revenge plots and I sat there and affixed labels all day and then wasn't asked to come back. It was like people in her office just wanted to have a look at me and nothing more.

This was basically when I had employment problems. It wasn't because I wasn't a good worker, and I got high marks in college. It was that a lot of people were pissed at me in Oregon and this carried over to Washington and it began with my litigation and with trying to get my taxes covered by a former employer. And that's pretty much it. So, since I had people screwing me out of work even then, over there, which was years ago, I created a job for myself and went to college and I proved it had nothing to do with me because I still had friends and I also got very high grades in college, even though I was also working and doing my own complicated litigation.

I feel the ultimate revenge scheme has been to have my son taken from me, as soon as people found out I had a child and that I would want to keep him and how much he meant to me, I believe some had their sights on that. So they tried to create havoc for me in Wenatchee and stir up rumors and dissension so I couldn't really get ahead here, when I did have a chance.

After that, I may have had another chance after I was on the East Coast and I think it freaked the shit out of all these groups that wanted to keep me down and do away with me. They wanted to find a way to try to rationalize that I was perhaps mentally ill but not so in the right "conditions" and there was all this strategy of getting close to me and then having people working behind the scenes to do everything they could to pull the rug out from under me, and KEEP me from getting ahead at all, which was a very frightening thought for some of them. It was a nightmare though, actually, after all that hard work in pulling me down. So I had people trying to set me up to die, by hoping I'd bleed to death without proper care in miscarriage, or trying to set me up to go to prison or jail for something--anything would work. Just needed or wanted more reasons to trash me and my good name.

I never really had a fair chance at all, because I never knew or understood what I was up against or who my worst enemies were. By that time, my enemies were not just those who slashed my tires and scowled, they were people who hid their animosity and tried to up the ante.

It was a huge frenzy when I was back in Washington then, and had separated from my ex. People really dug into me, but they did this, some of them, over there too.

I really just enjoyed people, in general and liked everyone and had no preference over one country or nationality of person over the other. But it's become this thing of trying to sort things out because I have been such a tremendous threat to some. Why, I don't fully know. If I did, I would have made a better strategy. But I have been a threat or all this effort would have never been made.

I feel a lot of people who might really care about me and my son, or who DID at one time and then felt turned off or gave up...I think some of them were deceived, just as I have been. All they could see was the spin, but they didn't know it was spin and who was really trying to bring me down in a monumnetal way. Instead, I became a scapegoat again and got blamed for a lot of things, and for my predicament when I've done all that I could, to have peace, and then tried to go the route of praying for justice, and all I did for the longest time, was lay down my arms and work for my son. But that wasn't good enough. I was pushed away from anything that could have been good in my life, and trashed even more, and my son affected, and then all anyone wants, is to still have be discredited or my reputation tarnished.

"Galileo" from Indigo Girls came up so I'm listening to this, first song this morning.

Then I even try this surrogacy business, to look into things, I'm stepping carefully, having to make sure I'm not just being distracted by someone making false promises or getting in with the wrong thing and making sure all legal t's are crossed because I'm well aware that any excuse would be made to try to see me fall.