Music & Photos: damaged by danity kane & town problems

I had this song come to mind: "Damaged" by Danity Kane.

I haven't listened to it for a very long, long, time.

I took a 1/3 of a Valium after the Housing Hearing and it just made me tired. I don't think Valium is the thing for me anymore. I actually think I do much better with nothing at all except for the occasional drink. Valium is good for acute panic attacks, I think, but I just feel dulled and tired taking it now.

I only took a 1/3 of a 10 mg. but all it does it make me tired. I probably won't use it.

I honestly think that for me, my levels of tolerance are up, and I can handle the stress and an occasional glass of wine or a drink, like any other nomral person, dis the best thing really. Just being normal I think. Nothing wrong with that. I don't believe I will take more of this stuff.
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This guy just came in who is a geologist from Ohio or something and going to be a psychologist and so we started talking a little bit. I said he should combine his stuff with rocks and then add special crystals and then therapy and he said crystals are B.S. and he takes a scientific approach. I said, "Oh yeah?" and he said yeah and was leaving and I said, "So you do a lot of rock climbing?" and he looked at me. He said, "Yeah, doesn't everybody?" and stared at me. I said, "No, not everybody does rock climbing." Then I added, when he asked, "I saw you rock climbing." He said, "You saw me? where?" and I said, "I'm a psychic. So much for science."

I was sitting at this cafe and I saw this guy, one who was doing some of the technology stuff with something he had in his pocket. He'd come up to me all the time and acted like he was nutty but I don't really think he is. I think he's up to no good. He was also the one to say, in December, after I'd had a conversation with my Ex, "It's too LATE". I wondered what he meant by that but I felt weird about it. He used to find me and approach or sit next to me and I'd have the technology crap happen, just as it did with a few others in town. His name is Chase. I got his photo just now, and he was okay with that. He would give me a half of a chocolate bar now and then and seem friendly but then once I found out he badmouthed me behind my back and then he used something he had with him which he concealed, on more than occasion.

He's obviously connected to some others in the area because this other guy, black guy from the Caribbean, when he saw me getting a photo, booked it out. Did NOT look comfortable. He said okay and took off. He looked pretty serious though when he was driving by on that bike.

Also, today, I have something else to report!

I went to the Goodwill, right feeling I should say hello to this little girl. She held out her hand for me to shake--her left hand, and I shook it and asked what her name was and she said "Danielle." Then I went to the Goodwill and I ran into this older woman getting out of her car with a walker and asked if she needed help and she said no and smiled. I said it looked like she was getting along fine and she said she stepped into a hole in the deck. I said, "Well you're just like Camilla in the rabbit hole. I'll bet you have(had) a great lover." She smiled and I said, "Shhh, I won't tell." and then I said, "Have you been a nurse before?" and she said no. I said, "Oh, that's strange, for some reason I was thinking a nurse." Then I said, "And something about the war. Like, what did you do during the war?" and she said she wasn't in the war. I asked what she did and she said she was an accountant. I said, "Oh! Well I guess I was really wrong about picking up on the right thing" and then she said, "My sisters were nurses. I had 2 sisters who were nurses, and nurses during the war." I said, "Oh! Well that's interesting. Maybe they're with you in spirit." and then I we went different directions but her eyes looked really wide.

When the guy came in who is a geologist, the first thing I asked him was what these chess pieces were. Two kids came in and were moving the pieces around next to me. I don't know what they all stand for and neither did they. So we wee playing and then I said, "Which is the only one that can stand on it's head?" and then I turned over the ones that looked like castles or turrets. The kids left and I just left them where they were and when this other guy came in, I said, "What are these?" and he said, "Castles or rooks." I said Oh, I didn't know. Then I said, What are the other ones and he told me. So I was staring t the board with the rooks on their heads, 3 of them, green felt showing on the bottoms. I have no idea what I was saying, I was just curious and playing around with the kids but then was curious. Then this guy was saying if Valium didn't work for me I could try clonazapam and I said, "Isn't that an anti-psycotic?" and he said, "How do you know?" I said, "I'm book-smart and street-stupid."

I was in the Goodwill and after I found out about the sisters, I then got a pear candle that smells good and then I added a second Peacock eye to my bag.
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I also went to this store with candles, insence, and beads. I looked at two candles, one was peace it said on the bottom and the other was energy. Then I went to the beads thinking about something for my son. Then I went to the oils and perfumes and there is one section that is "zodiac" and has oils for each birth sign. I smelled mine--libra, but didn't love it so I decided I would wear whatever one I liked at that moment. I liked Cancer, Capricorn, and Aries, for the scents only but it doesn't mean anything because they're just blends, not some psychic thing. Also, I cannot remember any of my ex boyfriends birthdays, at all, so it has nothing to do with a man or even family member. So I decided I was in the mood for the Aries scent and then added sweet patchouli to it to mellow it a little or make it musky. Then I saw there were fliers for what they mean and they said:

Sun's Eye Zodiac Oils: guide to astrological aromatherapy.
Aries, March 21-April 19, is characterized by iniative, decisiveness, boldness, and courage. Ruled by Mars, this oil is used to encourage assertiveness, iniative and to motivate action.

Then Patchouly says: Love, Money, and Fertility.
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The first time I ever watched "Meet Virginia", the original video, is this afternoon.

I will have to write about what happened with the housing thing later today. I am told I have until May 13th to bring in documents to support my position. Everything is about the 13th. And the 13th is when I had my appointment with the psychiatrist scheduled and now they are saying my housing thing is for the 13th of this same month, but I don't know. First, my psychiatric appointment was scheduled for a few days after my eviction and now it's scheduled for the same day of my housing hearing deadline.

I am just being forced out of this town and out of having my son at all. There is absolutely no way I can handle legal matters at this time and these people know it. The last 2 weeks or so, people just driving by saying "Bye" and Goodbye, and waving out of the windows that I'm leaving and moving trucks back and forth all of the time.
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Anyway, yesterday I learned how to combat psychic attacks. I know some of what I've been trhough is technology for sure, but I truly, amazinging, I don't know. I accept the very odd idea that some of it at least, was psychic and I fought it and I actually was literally able to transfer what was happening to me to someone else. I focused and concentrated and a few times I thought I was just blocking it somehow, but then, no, I realized and knew that I had sent it back to the source and I scorched some people.

I think I accidentally got a few wrong people though so I have to figure out how to control it and make sure it's going the right place, but I went to this one business for example, and did this, and it quit instantly and 2 people came STORMING out and glaring at me. I hadn't done anything wrong. But I think I got 'em.

It DOES sound bizarre, and I do know it's mainly technology, however, there were a few moments I knew it wasn't and I focused all my energy out and it worked. I was able to shut it off for me and I had a couple of images of who it was going to instead. A couple of men were seriously blasted but I didn't just continue it, I went for short powerful spurts. I noticed a lot of government vehicles and people in town yesterday too. From the state.

I actually want to have it happen again. I want more. I want more, because I had to move around yesterday and didn't have time to just sit and focus on it and work on sending it back, but when I did, I know it worked quite well. So I would like to try it again. I would like to have it happen when I have time to just meditate and focus so I can return to sender.

A couple of times, I knew there was no denying it was psychic, because if I focused on one particular person, it would get stronger and hotter and then I could switch to someone else and it quit or I got through.

It would happen in various restaurants and sometimes outside and whether people were around or not. It is the first time I ever thought, "Oh my gosh. Some people really do become actual targets of this kind of thing."

Again, again, I believe much more in science than other stuff, but yesterday, there was a psychic component and I, for the first time, was able to send it back. I might try it out on my own, without any provocation, just to see if I cando it but I don't know how I'd know is the problem.

I just think that this is a very powerful tool to have and necessary.

I don't feel it myself but tried to transfer it and it didn't work. I think the only time I know I can do it is if I am already feeling it and then I am able to control it so that it stops and then reverse the energy.
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I don't want it to happen to anyone else at all, but just me again, when I have time to sit and focus and redirect what is being done. I only want it to happen to me again so I can send it back, but not to others. But I want to figure out how to do this better and increase my powers, with the grace of God.

"The Crucible" as a song came to mind and I found one by Darkwell called "Crucible": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_1QonfsA9w
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I sent, just to see if I could, a couple of very short, short, quick blasts to some ex boyfriends. Not to be mean at all, but to see if I could. Nothing that lasted a long time. Just really short. What I mainly did, was the return to sender thing. Just sent it back.

I also sent it to a couple people in Wenatchee and a couple of strangers, but watched to see if anything happened. The worst thing that happened, was with a little girl sitting next to me. I didn't direct it to her at all. But she went through a ton of orange juice...just drank drank drank, at a Starbucks. Right after I focused my energy, she suddenly drank her entire large orange juice in about 3 minutes and then wanted more. It was really, really, weird to watch. She didn't take her mouth off of the straw even.

But the thing is, I didn't direct it to her at all. I actually tried to test it by sending it over to her mother, just to practice and check. What's weird, is I think I got this man who was sitting behind them, an older man wearing a baseball hat, because he kept staring and staring at me in shock. Like maybe he was the sender and I sent it back to him and he got it and knew it was from me.

I didn't pray a curse or anything weird. I just said to God, "Take this energy and please help me to test this. Send it back (or, send it over here)." But I would never focus energies on this unless it was to deliberately send it back to someone who was really trying to cause harm.

So I didn't go around, harming. I tried really quick spurts to see if it worked, but like, 1-5 minute bits. Nothing enduring. I only wanted the stuff to really stick to the ones who were not letting up. So basically, I did it. I was able to really DO it!

If it WAS technology, it was a miracle of some kind, because I was able to stay immune when I focused. But I THINK, when I look back on some reactions I got yesterday, that I really did do some psychic work yesterday. The little girl was most obvious and then some people were getting PISSED and exiting buildings after I sat there and reversed the energy from me back to someone else.

I actually got an impression, but I don't know who it was of, of a man going "AAAHHHH!" like I really got him. But it was brief. It was of an Ex, but I don't know which one. And it was only to test quickly, not to do harm. I mainly think I did get through to some who I needed to get through to somehow.

I just want to know though, how to direct it without it being random or affected a child or something.