I have been trying to recharge and get strategy today. Thinking about my son all day and praying and if not praying, thinking and playing pacman at the same time, but thinking too. listened to this mozart piece over and over and still into it.
then, i didn't take a nap but rested a minute after seeing something about rose quartz and how it's related to the heart and thought about Diana for a minute. So I asked God or asked Diana if there was something for me to say and then I asked God, is it okay to ask someone who has passed away or is that like asking that one old testament prophet, to come up from the dead to talk to saul? so i asked and i am not sure so to be safe just asked God and then I only got the word "powder".
I have no idea what powder is about but then I tried to think and I think it's maybe my imagination, but one or both of her sons used to powder her face for her with some big powder puff? but I don't know if that was correctly following powder or if this word is for something else. my impression wasn't about snow. It was more like talculm powder or face powder or something.
I sort of had a visual of her at her vanity and one or both there but really, it is one of those things where I was trying to get further information when the main thing I was sure of was "powder". So I have no idea, but hopefully it means something to someone and God might only know. But what if it's nothing? it was a small word so I tried to get more but didn't. I think it's because then I was asking God if it's okay to "ask Diana" things and then I was thinking oh no, I don't want to be one of those wackos who says, "...and Diana came to me in a VISION and everything and SHE SAYS..." etc. So I just stopped and tried to be as normal in my request as possible. It must have been at around 3-4 p.m. PST (i think) that I got this word. I have to say too, that when I asked, I didn't know who it was for but just wanted to know if there was something God or Di would give me to share that might mean something to someone but I am not even completely sure who it would be for. So I hope it's something important bc it's so vague, but that's all I got. I didn't try really hard, just a few minutes, but that was it.
***********
now my computer is overheating. i wish someone would quit that.
i still have some Valium but trying to decide whether to discontinue or not. I might have enough for a few days. Thought I was out but found some of the ones I thought were missing or had disintegrated.
******************
now it's almost 6:30 p.m. and I had an image of someone throwing up but I don't know who. not over this! but sick.
************************
I switched from horowitz's rendition of mozart (piece 1 & 2) to barishnikov came to mind, whom I've never watched. I know Di liked him, but he just came to mind and I found a clip from a movie I might have to see sometime, with Helen Mirren and saw this performance of "Horses" which almost made me cry. I was just listening to the music and playing pacman and then I watched it, and at one point, it really did move me. I don't know if that's his style or what. Sort of a modern dance and ballet combo. Will have to watch more of him sometime. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--LbFRO8SQQ.
I was thinking too, while playing, that maybe powder isn't just a situation involving such but a code word? I don't know. I have no idea.
The first clip I've ever chosen to see with barishnikov, (besides white nights now--still have to see the movie), is this one! I like it. I don't know if it would be my first choice to see him, I actually noticed him more when he was doing this little dance in a movie clip (will cut and paste) and I like this but the skintight almost naked thing was sort of distracting to me. I liked how they resembled perfectly nude statues and then the innocence of the dance by contrast, very pretty, but I noticed his skill more in this other one I saw, well the horses one (if that was him?) and then this other one. but here's the statue one, to debussy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-1fuTIZQuU&feature=related
No comments:
Post a Comment