UPDATED: George Alexander Louis Better Off Dead

I hope it dies and the name is atrocious.

He's better off dead because he is born to a criminal who is going to find herself in jail or dead herself.  I hope it dies because there is no justice without his death, for my son and for my life and what has been done to me because of her (Katie).  I have no reason to hate her or her son aside from the fact they are behind the murder of my unborn child and the torture of my son and me.  The only justice is his death, and death to any girl or other child she's already had through a surrogate.

I think Alexander is an atrocious and gay sounding name, Louis reminds me of Philip Louis Thebault, and George makes me think of Robin George Bechtold, rapist II, who has been working for that bitch as long as he's been in high school, planning assassination attempts against me with his Dad, George Bechtold.

I actually don't really care about the name because it's not like they took a good name and assigned it to someone born to criminals.  It's an atrocious combination which actually suits the person he's born to. 

Not to mention an ill-sounding acronym:  GAL.

Prince George is also where my unborn was murdered.  That county.

It's basically been okay for Katie Middleton's disgusting group to conspire to murder me, steal homework from me when I was even just a kid, torture me, poison me, defame me as she paraded naked, smear me by setting me up to be raped--once even by a married man, knowing it was to stigmatize me further, and multiple times tried to kill me.  This is on top of letting my son fall down stairs, to be cut up, burned with acid, abused, and poisoned. 

It's okay for Katie to score, with even my own "parents" having worked on her side and behalf all along, but she has the gall (one of my mother's favorite words, since I was a kid) to spy on me, from the time she was out of high school.

I don't believe my mother was "cut" by her anymore--I think it was a lie to have me believe my mother wasn't really financing this bitch, and Patti Otterbach knew all along it was a lie.  The only reason to suddenly make it appear she and my Dad were not funding Katie, is to excuse them from having a motive to harm me on her behalf.

My Dad just asked tonight, or said, "You had sex with Robin?" and I said, "No, I was raped and I told you that a long time ago."  He said "I never heard about it" and I said, "Yes you did because I told you when it happened, on Thanksgiving."

It was on that day my Dad pushed me out of the house, getting into a huge argument with me and saying he didn't want me around, so I accepted an invitation from Shannon Adams (one of the conspirators who tried to murder me, next to my parents house) to meet up with old high school friends.  I never drank, and they got me drunk, while Robin was not drunk at all, and was staying sober in order to play video gambling games and win himself $20.  He made sure he was in a state of mind to be able to think over his cards and make money and in the meantime, I had been trusting enough to accept drinks paid for by Shannon Adams and Alicia Peters.  Then Erica Ballinger was supposed to drive me home and instead, they all said Robin could because it was on his way home and then he did not go home.

He used all of his learned "sexual assault" protocol from Claremont McKenna, knowing I was wired and that someone could overhear what was being said, and went through a step-by-step, "Can I do this?" which made it sound like I consented, when I wasn't in a place to consent and he knew he was sober and I wasn't. 

I had wondered once if my mother was trying to get his attention sexually when he came to visit me before this, because she kept going in front of him where he could see, and stoking the fire and adding things to the fire, showing off her rear end while she did, which he watched the entire time.  It annoyed me, because he was sitting there with me on the couch and instead, staring at my mother's rear and she kept making it a focal point and I knew she didn't need to be in front of the fire like that, that many times.  It is the only time I thought my mother was trying to be noticed for her rear end by a boy (teen) I was dating.

Then after Adams and Roos attempted to murder me when I called my parents and was driving back to the house, my mother gave me a cookie with a pink frosting on it, that said I Love You when Robin always sat across the table from me.  I said something about it and he flipped out, defending my mother and saying, "Your Mom made you a cookie for Valentines Day and you're complaining about it?!"  I thought it was odd Robin wanted to defend my Mom over an absentminded comment I made about a cookie.

Someone who worked for the CIA had to give Robin the insight and tips into how I was programmed to begin with, for him to have tried out some of the things he tried on me, like someone had handed over tips to him.  No one would have known how I was programmed except for maybe my Dad and George, his Dad, who went to Costa Rica which is where the CIA trained Edward Howard and there was a training base.

Alicia Peters or Shannon Adams was the one to call me up and ask if I wanted to meet them at a bar to chat and hang out.  Erica was invited too, but she wasn't the one who called, and I was invited by them after I had asked to visit my parents and my Dad said no.  He acted like he hated me and didn't want to be around me, so I was forced into having nothing else to do but take a phone call from government kids who premeditated my being raped by Robin Bechtold.  I know it was premeditated because I still remember the looks on Shannon and Alicia's faces, once I was drunk, sort of mocking me and smirking back and forth with each other and then calling Robin over, who was playing a part to look disinterested in my being set up to be drugged. 

I never would have taken a ride with him if he had not said he was taking me home and then I remembered thinking, he is saying things in a way that makes it sound like he thinks someone might be listening and he is trying to make it sound like he shouldn't be caught.

Then he had a whole cover and lie ready later.  He tried to get me to agree to be with him again and I refused.  I tried to catch him through email and then he tried twisting it around instead.  Later, he was attempting to buy drugs from me, and most likely in an effort with the FBI to set me up after he'd raped me and Josh Gatov had raped me.

My parents recently asked me how many times I'd been raped and then just smiled, like it was no big deal.  I wonder why most of the rapists are connected to their line of work and their locations of where they've lived.

When I went to Texas, there were "The Birds" posters all over the place, with Jim Carey's face which looked like Robin.   I told my parents if they had never been so horrible to me and told me they didn't want me over for Thanksgiving, I never would have even met up with those people (the high school people) at all.

It was pretty much like I got set up to be in that place, at that time, and then drugged or trusting people I thought I could trust, who got me totally drunk and then left me with someone who had been trying to rape me ever since the UK and CIA started trying to get a bet going for it.  Later Erica Ballinger at least said she was "disappointed in Robin" and said he raped me because I was drunk and he wasn't, but who knows what she said later to anyone.  That was what she said to me then.

He was living in Texas already, at that time, and had flown home for Thanksgiving.

Why would my own Mom and Dad have been pressuring me to marry a man, Rick, when I was 16 years old, who was totally mentally disabled from a car wreck anyway? It's like they just wanted to get rid of me.  I was in the way of Katie Middleton and that's the only person who factors into all of this.  It was the only "secret".  She was the only ongoing secret among government kids at Sherwood High School, and she was a secret by the time I met Katie Fallon.

Maybe Edward Howard used the alias "Patrick" because it's when I ran away from school, and he'd had to run too, or maybe it's because my "irish rainbow" shirt was cut in half when I broke my arm.  The green tourmaline ring I was given by my Nana Ruth Howard was green tourmaline because it said so on an insert paper that went with the box.  It looked like an emerald and I had used to wear a perfume called Emeraude that had a glass bottle cut the same way sort of, and was my mother's.  I'd been wearing Emeraude in Moses Lake, WA.

When I fell from the tree, my mother was in the kitchen and my Dad was in the living room playing piano.  Katie Middleton had already been conceived.

I believe now that I was somehow targeted by military to fall.  I know about things they can do and technology used to create incidents that look natural and are not.  It was on Memorial Day, 1982 and President Reagan announces the beginning of a new program they proposed to Russia called "START".

Princess Diana always said she was a "non-starter".  Katie Middleton has always been a "starter", in fact, getting a head start in every way but one.  She is not loved the way she thinks she is.

Memorial Day was May 31, 1982.  She had been born January 9, 1982.  She was 4 months old when I was targeted.

The President then laid a wreath on the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier at 11:35 a.m. EST while I had just been knocked out, with a broken arm, before his memorable "arms" speech.
http://www.arlingtoncemetery.net/reagan-0582.htm

Katie Middleton did not have Princess Diana's support.  She probably had, instead, the support of my Mom and Dad Bob and Dicksie.

The entire "start" vs "non-starter" thing that the U.S. Pentagon did to my cars repeatedly, in another attempt to kill me in 2003, where my car power and electricity was stalled and drained to have a car collide into mine, was an ongoing tradition for this country, to target me with weapons for no other reason than that they are criminals and the children of criminals.

Oh, and I wouldn't start a fire for the government when I was being encouraged to start one and set our house on fire.  But I'll bet Katie Middleton passed that test didn't she.  What did she blow up?

I remember seeing my Mom at the window before I went flying off of the tree and broke my arm.  I saw the look on her face and it was like she didn't like me and I vaguely remember something being held up.  Then I was on the grass, with my arm bent back and she didn't come running out.  My brother was outside and I said, "Levi.  Levi, I broke my arm.  Get Mom and Dad" and he said, "Nu-uh, you're lying."  I said "No, I'm not lying.  I mean it."  So he then ran in and they came out and got me and I went to the hospital.

Later, The Maiers were telling me to go naked down their curly slide, and when I wouldn't, they kept doing it to pressure me so I did and I saw their Dad at the window inside.  It was curled but they called it "The Slippery Slide".  "Come on Cameo, let's go down the slippery slide".  What happened when I flew from the tree was that suddenly I was hot and my hands instantly slippery and I flew off. 

Anyone ready to throw up?

I thought why would his daughters, who pretended to be my good (best) friends all that time, deliberately expose me, naked, to their Dad, when they obviously looked over there at him for approval after they got me to do it.

This country has been really "kind" to me and my son.  Look at the wreck of my life, because of this god-damned country and the games people played and the betrayals and torture of me and my son.  But Katie...oh right.  I'm supposed to like her?  She should be in jail with the rest of all these people.  Judges not filing papers and taking them out of the record...and all...how many Judges did this to me? and clerks? and where are their sanctions?  Anyone and everyone has been allowed to beat me up, rape me, and torture me however they like as if I've been dead all along and they just needed a corpse for their sado-masichism.

Note the planning of my injury as well.  I broke my arm on the same day Reagan chose to use "reduction of arms" as part of his speech.  Memorial Day of 1982.  Then, all this time passes, and I end up in Coquille where their City employees show up in an SUV and say they are there to "inspect the memorial".  I was the Unknown "Soldier" that was commemorated on Memorial Day 1982, and as far as my rights went, they were dead from that day forward.

I think my Mom, being psychic, and seeing me as I saw her, might have worried about the fact I saw her and wondered if I'd ever say anything but I never did.

So tell me.  Is she related to Katie Middleton?  Or has she just been pimping her ride for her?

I always knew President Reagan knew my name and then look at what happened to him.  He got "Alzheimers".  Boy was that convenient.

This country has no right to me or my son.  I left this country because they upped it a notch and started torturing my son here, citizen or not.  My son does not deserve a place in Hell.

I was 8 years old when this happened to me and I was then introduced to "Katie Fallon" so the CIA could give an excuse for using the name "Katie" after Catherine Elizabeth was born.  I can't think of anything I did that was so horrible to have deserved this.  I do think I had gone through my parents room looking for adoption papers before I ever broke my arm though, possibly it was later, but I was still pretty young.  I didn't just look in one drawer.  I searched their entire bedroom.

As for Edward Howard and what he was doing in 1982, as far as I can tell, the CIA had just hired him for Soviet espionage and was training him for that, and then they fired him in May of 1983.

So what did Katie blow up?  I'm just curious you know.  I'd like to know how she outshined me so well and passed herself off as sufficiently criminal for retention.  It's great how she gets to look so normal on the outside, while I'm the least criminal and yet I've been "strategically defamed" and ruined.

Show me what the point has been.  For her?  For that BITCH to have that position? and that baby? What was the point of torturing me as a baby and kid and trying to ruin my life then?  As far as I can see with my son, there is no one the U.S. is torturing him over except for me, and I'm not even one of their spies.  My Mom is psychic enough that she would know what I was thinking and if I had any thoughts or memories about her at the window.  Maybe that's why it was so important for her to break into my diary and read what I was writing, or why my parents wanted me to commit some kind of arson to blame me for.

I was already cut up, wired, and bugged.

Think about it.  The President.  Of the Entire United States...making a special point about "strategic arms reduction" the same morning I was targeted.  They use me, but I've never been paid, and I never signed up.

I want my son returned.  He has been endangered just as I am and have been my entire life in this country.
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UPDATE 7/27/13

About The Maiers telling me to go down the slippery slide after my hands slipped on the tree branch--

My Dad told me before it happened, "Don't swing on that tree branch anymore because that tree is starting to rot and it could break off."  So I had ignored the advice when I did this, and saw my Mom at the window, and then when I was in the hospital I kept crying in front of doctors and nurses saying "I'm sorry I disobeyed".  I told them and anyone else "my hands got slippery all of a sudden".  I had landed past the tree, at the front of the yard, a few away from a ditch. (The yard ended, and then it sloped into a shallow ditch and up again to the road).  Later, Barbara Maiers was steering her car into a ditch, around the time her daughters told me to go down their "slippery slide naked" knowing their Dad was there at the window.

So then years later, 5-7 years later, when I was developed physically, the Maiers kept telling me to go naked down their "slippery slide" and continually pushing me to do it and then when I did, I saw their Dad Pamp Maiers, watching from the window and then his daughters looking at him triumphantly for approval.  There was absolutely no mistake they did it for him and at his suggestion and knew he was there when I didn't.

All of the work he does is for the U.S. federal government and he gets all of his contracts from them.  Later, in 2003 or so, when I went to visit Stephanie in Seattle, she had me to "The Flying Fish" for dinner where she was a chef and all of the people there made a big deal about each having $100 bills to tip the waiter with.  "Let's each give him a $100 bill" they said and made sure all of them had one and several of them gave it to him.  My guess is they wanted to make reference to Edward Howard paying for a bottle of wine for U.S. embassy workers in Russia, with a $100 (as reported by FBI).  Most of what they had ordered that night, was wine, several glasses.

One of their daughters studied Russian and then the first person to rape me was a Russian Jew whose work had been in some kind of construction and I was told he had a connection to the Maiers.

I broke my arm early in the morning on Memorial Day 1982.  It was between 7-8 a.m. PST and I was wearing my clothes I play in before changing into church clothes.  Breakfast was being made and church started at 11 a.m., if we'd gone, and we got there early for seats.  We didn't go because I was a the hospital and then later they talked about how maybe they'd have to cut my arm off and give me a mechanical one.  I broke my arm, PST, before the President's speech was made EST.

The Maiers kind of construction was road construction and they got federal contracts for it, and worked with the Department of Transportation, which Annette Sandberg has been in charge of.

The whole U.S.-Russian conversation about whether to "re-start" something or scrap it and start over, 2 years ago, was like an inside joke about what was done to me and Memorial Day 1982, and START.

Another thing.  Since I am mentioning various connects, one of the Dicksie's is somehow friends with Dan Gatti and Nathan Zodrow from Mt. Angel Abbey.  I think this is possible due to the fact once on our way back from Coos Bay, we passed them and instead of seeming upset, nervous, or worried, she smirked at them and they were smirking back, like people who share a secret.  My shock was not so much over Dan Gatti, but the other person I recognized as Abbot Nathan Zodrow. I had not seen him for several years and to then see him, and see him exchanging smiles with my Mom (or one of the twins) was something I didn't forget because it didn't add up to me.  What would they have in common to exchange smiles over?  That happened in the last year on a clear day, no rain.  It happened later, after the time I blogged about my Mom being in the car and pressured to a deal or saying "Let's walk" to Susan Hays, Debbie Sweetwater-Burt, or Patti Otterbach, whichever one it was.   To me it sounded like Debbie but my Mom walked with Patti.  If I had to estimate, it was less than a year ago, and probably February or March of this year.  Actually, anywhere from my birthday forward because I believe I had bought shoes with birthday money I got from my parents, which is the same approximate time Katie Middleton decided to get pregnant.  So that was in October more or less, or November in the first week because I remember I got the shoes and then saw them.

I was just thinking was it only 4-5 months ago in March? and then remembered it was when we were coming back from getting shoes, which was around my birthday and apparently their secret was Bitch Katie-kooch.  I remember thinking why was Nathan Zodrow (Ukrainian) showing up when I'd just bought shoes?  around my birthday too. 

It is possible one of the twins (my Mom or Dad, one of the sets) has been working with them, because how is it they are involved with people who tried to assassinate me and run me over and then defame me too, from Sherwood, Oregon days to Coquille days?  It's possible there is a joint motive and incentive.

I know this is when I saw them, though I've seen Dan Gatti other times, not looking happy and more outraged and bitter.  The time I saw Nathan Zodrow was when I got the shoes.  I remembered wondering why he was showing up around my birthday--maybe just to see me and later when I noticed the shoes I was encouraged to get have an X across them, when I'd been using a Russian symbol that looks like an x for surrogacy searches, standing for "life", I thought maybe he showed up for his Ukrainian-Russian side.  I had been doing a bunch of searches at that time, prior to my birthday, and selected a Russian alphabet character that means "life" for a signing on some of my posts. 

So then I was at this shoe store and a Russian and Mexican woman came in.  The Russian woman was holding the baby which had red hair (strawberry blond) and looked like me when I was a baby.  I was encouraged to get the black and hot pink shoes with the x over the laces so I did and then Katie decided it was time for herself to get pregnant.  Nathan Zodrow and Dan Gatti looked happy when we passed them driving home.  Sort of smugly self-satisfied.  I thought then, they'd shown up just for the Russian aspect of my shoe selection but no, then 9 months later, to my birthday exactly, guess who has a baby?

Katie Middleton.  The Russian bitch.  Or Ukrainian.  Whatever. 

My Mom sort of looked intimidated and another employee there who acted like Mike Tancer also seemed to be involved.  She didn't necessarily look that happy, but then when we left, my having spent $60 out of $100 gift, it was Nathan Zodrow who was happy.

The other thing about Dan Gatti, is he is the one who imitated how stiff my Mom and Dad were before Mike Nichols rolled my car in another attempt to kill me.  He gave me some stiff, unnatural hug and then wrote to me in an email saying "You crossed the line."

Two days before she delivered this baby, a bunch of Russian or Ukrainian women came into town and harassed me in Coquille.  One screamed out her window at me:  "Psycho BITCH!"  That was the 21st.  She looked similar to the woman who had been in the shoe store.  On the day she delivered, the 22nd, a bunch of Japanese came into town and just drove around smiling.  Both events occurring when I left my house to walk to town and back which is about 2-3 miles total.

Two questions I have for people who died that I can't ask:

1.  Why Judy Roark said "don't look at me" when she was showing up at my parent's house drunk and my mother was acting hostile?  Don't look at me is what I used to say to my brother in the car.  Judy showed up and said this to me after an assassination attempt against me.  Judy didn't care if I saw her or she wouldn't have gone over there.  It's almost like she was trying to tell me my brother was involved in something.

2.  Why Bob Little didn't want me to get into a truck with my Dad (one of the Bobs) to have him drive me home?  I don't know if there was a bet riding on my not getting a ride to the house or what but Bob Little shook his head frantically at me, when my Dad wasn't looking, to tell me not to get in the truck, which was full of gas cans.  I figured either Bob Little thought my Dad had a motive to kill me or he knew about some bet and that it would be bad for my Dad if I accepted the ride to my house, as if someone had said, "If she gets a ride, you have to get doused in gasoline".  For whatever reason, Bob Little did not want me getting into the truck, and that was about 1 1/2 years ago.  His expression was to me only, and he shook his head back and forth to the side like "no" and had eyes wide with alarm.  Then the entire way back to the house it reeked so bad of gas all over I thought if someone lit a match, it was over.  I remember there was a box of Cheez-its on the seat as well, on the passenger's side, and wondered why a box of orange squares with a hole punctured into the center was a big deal but my Dad had been making a big deal about them at that time.  That part sounds weird, but it was after seeing a bunch of dots all over my Dad's back.  I know when I first went somewhere with my Dad alone, he stalled the car and then started it right before a woman came around the corner and plowed into me, on a back road.  We were in the yellow Subaru and coming back from Coos Bay and he stalled the car at an intersection where my side of the car was facing the oncoming road and a woman drove around the corner and would have hit me but he started it up again.  It scared me because I wondered why my Dad was trying to intentionally scare me and it didn't seem to bother him, or to be something from military but something he'd done himself.  Then the woman coming around the corner seemed to think something was funny and had a big smile and laughed over and smiled at my Dad and he smiled, but she was around the corner so I don't see how she'd have known what had just happened.  She had long brown hair.  What scared me was that he wasn't worried at all, and sort of seemed to think it was funny.  He kind of did it in the way he does something when he's mad and then pretends something bad that happened was a mistake, like if he found out I swore at him and to get back at me he says I can't go to the prom because the dress is ruined.  Sort of passive-aggressive, like Robin Bechtold.  So one of the Bob's has done a few things to get back at me for things he has felt I've done deliberately but I never have done anything intentionally that I can think of.  Anyway, this is why I wondered why Bob Little didn't want me to get into the truck.

I am looking for a Spielberg movie now, because of something I noticed.  One thing I remember is my Dad took me to see The Color Purple, through a rape scene, in 1985, after Edward Howard defected from the CIA.  I got to see a rape, in anticipation for my being repeatedly raped by Jews and FBI.

The movie I wanted to look at is Lincoln, which was released in NY October 8, 2012 and then for the rest of the U.S. November 9, 2012.  The reason for this is I got a hint that my own brother had a problem with me on the day we all went to see that movie in Coos Bay.  What was odd was that when we left the theater, my brother made a point to position himself behind me with a huge man in front of me that was as big as a bodyguard.  I looked back and instead of seeing some protective expression from my brother, I saw intuitively he was acting out some kind of cop role as if he was making sure I was trapped.  He was looking for approval from someone else too, when we exited the theater, that was in the hall, and they laughed and he was making it look like I was being escorted inbetween 2 prison guards or something, and just had this expression of hatred.  In front of me, before someone squeezed themselves between us, was a couple that looked (from the back) like William of Wales and Katie Middleton, and then this man came out of nowhere, squeezed in and then my brother got right behind me as if they were protecting Katie, not me.  I am not psychic, but I'm intuitive, and my gut instinct told me there was something wrong with my brother.  It was like a hidden thing--that he didn't want me to know but wanted to get credit from someone else for going along with them and their plans.  Then later he asked me at my parent's house about "starting a relationship with" my son and pretended to be respectful of me about it and when I said no, he called me "psycho" and crazy and insulted me.  Once we were out of the theatre, I was pushed off to one side and my Mom, Dad, and brother were all grouped up together, with me behind them and then they all started to walk away without me.  I had a feeling about it, then, something was wrong with my family, not like the thought never crossed my mind, but at that time I saw my own brother was more interested in getting approval from peers than he was my brother.  We got in the car and then my Dad said, "This might be the last time we ever spend a Christmas together or are ever all together again" and I said, "Why would you think that?"

Next thing that happened was the U.S. blew out one of my teeth, by technology, sent my Dad a clip about the "dam being blown up to release the fish" and then Katie felt she could go ahead and get pregnant, one year later from the Lincoln movie.

Another thing I wonder about is why a woman named Kathy Kirscher (curse-shure) decided to get close to me after Nichols failed to kill me in 1995.  This is after Katie Middleton was born and my Dad "damned" me, saying "God damn you" to my face one day when I was a kid.

I have all these purple notebooks I bought a couple of months ago and a few days ago my parents decided to ask me, "So how many times do you think you've been raped?"

I was writing in one of these notebooks, with a purple pen that has purple ink and says "profile" on it, when the news was released that Katie Dumpster had her child.  It came up on my computer, with some man heralding the news with a purple feather showing in his hat.

And I'm being asked "How many times do you think you were raped?"

How about, "How many Jews funded this Mossad bitch?"  (include Carmen Wilson-Garrett).

It's like I was deliberately raised in a family that would allow and participate in hate crimes against me.  I don't trust them with my son and I believe the only way it has been possible to commit this many crimes for this long, is because of their own participation.

Who were they asking the question for anyway?  Just me? to remind me and have me think about it? or to remind someone else and have them feel bad or to remind others so they could take credit for it and get paid? It wasn't like it was easy to rape me.  I was raped repeatedly, and it was premeditated with men and women.  Watch "Good Night and Good Luck" for an idea of a line up that would include how many in Portland, Oregon alone were involved and worked for the FBI at the same time.

My opinion is that anyone English who actually supports Middleton has decided they don't care about their own country anymore.  She is not one of them but her PR has been working to make everyone think she's "just like you" since she was born.

Another thing (tangent again).  The bottle of vermouth that was inside of a plain brown paper bag for decades in our fridge in Moses Lake, WA was Gallo brand from what I remember.  Just so we know I remember.  I bought Lejon vermouth but I knew that wasn't the brand that my parents bought and saved for making some kind of point later in life. 

I remember things.

I also have the opinion "Joanna" was murdered as a threat to this huge Katie Middleton scheme so many have invested in for decades.

Read this! and be up to Katie's speed:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/E_%26_J_Gallo_Winery

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Updated 7/28/13

Another thing I've wondered about my brother, is why, after someone tried to assassinate me, and Judy came to our house, and after I found out someone had been spying on me in the bathroom, he moved out of the house to another town.  Back then I thought it was drugs but maybe it was something else.

Also, my brother had started raising kitchen knives at me when we were still living in Moses Lake, WA.  So to later have a woman who was connected to Nigeria (and Mossad) and the CIA, lying and accusing me of holding up a knife against her (I've never done this to anyone in my life) and then to have another Jew, Mykal Holt, who stole my cedar chest, make the exact same lie, sort of points to a malicious attempt to cover for crimes people they knew had committed.  Josh Gatov, a Jew, raped me and wanted to be sure he had not one, but two knives with him when he did this to me.

The only other individuals that I remember using knives as weapons against me or threatening me with them, is my brother for one, and I remember I was shocked when he did it, and he didn't even get into trouble.  He raised a kitchen knife that was used to cut our pizzas.  We didn't have one of those rolling pizza cutters for a long time, and used this one knife and it was like a large chopping knife and he raised it, held it at me, and then lunged for me.  I ran out of the house and screamed and told my parents he'd raised a knife against me and they didn't do anything.  How would he get the idea to do something like that anyway?  At most, he was 12 years old because this is when he was doing this to me and we moved from that house when he was 12 and I was 15.

I had never done anything like that, so he hadn't picked it up or learned it from me.  Even after he did this to me, I never did the same back to him.  Which is why, when I have literally never done such a thing, not even to match what others did to me, it's odd that decades later a bunch of Mossad and CIA connected Jews were making false accusations about ME. 

My brother didn't hold up a knife and threaten me with it one time.  He did it many times and became the first thing he resorted to when he was mad at me.  For whatever reason, he quit doing it, for the most part, when we moved to Sherwood, Oregon in 1990.  Prior to that, he did it all the time and it was when he was between 10-12 years old.  I think it mostly started when he was around 12.  He would pick up a large knife and hold it up and out and give a menacing look and a start towards me.  I am mentioning this on this blog post because I believe he was involved in supporting Katie Middleton later.  What shocked me was that he was never punished or got into trouble for doing this to me--instead my mother often said he didn't do such a thing and she didn't believe it.

I remember my mother cutting me with a very small knife or razor of some kind.  She also, coincidentally, had a "Razor" phone until just before Kate Middleton got pregnant.  The same day I got a pair of shoes, in October, she traded in her Razor phone for a Smart phone.  I remember the look on my Mom's face when she cut me once, and she looked mean and I remember being shocked by it--I might have passed out but I don't remember passing out.  I just remember the fear and shock and my automatic reaction of compliance.

I am positive this was exactly what Jew Josh Gatov was aiming for when he made sure he had knives with him when he raped me--he wanted to exact fear and compliance from me in the same way, if he didn't decide to kill me outright.

I noticed how Kate Middleton looked smug when leaving the theatre in public after seeing the modern version of Alice in Wonderland.  When I later saw previews, with the point about "You won't remember me" I had an idea why.

Before I left on a trip to Nashville, TN with Mike Nichols I had confronted my mother one day and I don't know how it came up but I said, "I remember things" and she looked terrified and panicked and hardened her face.  She said what do you mean, and I said, "I remember things from when I was little that were done to me."

That was a major blow.  Both my Mom and Dad froze and became quiet and hostile and gave me a very stiff hug when I was leaving, when I extended the hug.  I know they were worried about what it was I "remembered".  Since there are twins of them and I didn't know this at the time, I don't know which ones, but I do remember things and I haven't forgotten through all of the U.S. and Canadian attempts to defame me and kill me and rape me over it. 

The movie idea of some foreign phrase being said before Alice takes a "potion" that makes her forget everything, is something they did to me in Wenatchee, WA at the Central Washington Hospital during my suicide attempt, and in Washington D.C. with Chris Dabney, who said he was Catholic but had a Jewish girlfriend when he did this to me, and I saw a photo of him in something that looked Jewish, and he had first raped me with the comment "Here's another one in the hole." 

The time I remember my Mom cutting me was over something to keep me quiet, like to keep me from talking or telling about something.  It wasn't over not doing a chore.  It was to either have me do something and be obedient and did what they said, or to not "tell" or as punishment for telling.

I didn't see knives again, aside from normal kitchen use, or razors, until my brother was told (or allowed) to hold up larger knives against me on a regular basis.  He never did anything but I always ran away, and he got more confident about it as time went on.  He was running me out of the house with a large knife maybe once a week.  It was often, and then for whatever reason, he quit when we moved to Sherwood, Oregon and I don't know why except that in the Moses Lake house the kitchen window faced an empty cow field, and no other houses, and in Sherwood, there were huge windows lining the whole floor, that looked across to the Krouger's house and trees where someone could possibly watch if they wanted.  Instead, around the time my cousin Char Garrett came over to stay with us, my junior year of high school, she or someone else set out a razor-an exacto knife on the kitchen window ledge and it was left there.  I remember I was afraid of them, and wouldn't go near one or use one, as a teen.  Then in art class, we had to use one to cut our own canvases for painting and that was the first time I touched one.

My Dad taught my brother Levi to shoot guns, just recreationally, one season, and there was a target set up and it was just a target practice but I remember Levi didn't want to learn and had no interest in guns and I was the one that did.  He kept saying he wanted to go in the house, and were they done, and that kind of thing and I was the one who said I wanted to try and they let me but I wanted to keep trying and practicing and I was told no, Levi was the one being taught and go in the house (I felt it was because I was a "girl" or "woman").  I wanted to practice and was not allowed, but I never picked up weapons of any kind and ever threatened someone with them and I haven't done that to this very day.  I never did what my brother did, in holding a knife against someone or any weapon to threaten someone. I liked the idea of learning guns because I had loved my water guns as a kid and I liked finding aim and target, which is probably why I later realized I liked darts too (not much practice there either). 

All of the lies about my being potentially dangerous are lies, and used to cover up for people who have harmed me or who really are dangerous.  I hope Katie and her kids die, but it's not something I would do and when I think it would be just, it is only with the idea of a natural occurance by God, and God doing something about it, not me.

Because I said, very seriously, "I remember things" I know my parents felt threatened by me and what I might talk about it.  One set of the twins or one of them--they felt threatened which would put them in a position of being blackmailed by others who hated me or wanted me out of their way, to agree to do things to track me, surveill me, and incapacitate me through microchips, defamation, and repeated rape.  That is in addition to trying to kill me.

All of the people I've found who happened to be connected to these efforts, are, some of them, a surprising number, linked to Katie Middleton.

I have posted about remembering my mother cutting me before, and framed it sort of loosely, but it is not a vague or false memory.  I have had it, and one of the first references to it was in 1994-5, before I went on a trip to Nashville, TN.  I remember this because I knew my mother was still mad at me, because she kept driving off the side of the road when I told her it scared me and hurt my neck (which was in a brace).  It is also why I felt my Dad acted sort of suspiciously when he wanted a photo with "We Love You" written by them, on a board behind me, for picture appearances, but hadn't cared if I saw it before he was taking a photo.  It is also why I got upset when my mother was smirking with the doctor that was stitching up my head, before I later saw her with tears.

I remembered being cut before I rediscovered scars from some of the cuts after the hijacking in 1995.  I have another memory of being cut too, but I think someone tried to work at erasing that one, and it's similar to the one of my Mom, but I think a man and I'd have to think about it. I know the one from my Mom and I never forgot how she held up something from the window when I was on the tree and when I fell off she didn't even come outside to see how I was.

Why would my parents defend my brother's chasing me around with a knife as well?  He never got in trouble for doing it.  It was only after I said I could call police I think he quit and that was in Sherwood, Oregon.  Why let your kid chase your "daughter" with a knife, in a rage, unless you're guilty yourself of cutting that kid?  Who would give him the idea to pick up a knife and do this to me in the first place?  no one in the house did this in the open.  He was grabbing a sharp huge knife, holding it up and out at me and then lunging, starting, and/or running after me with the knife. 

But exactly WHO was getting lied about, on the subject of KNIVES?  I was, by CIA and Mossad connected people.  Not to mention raping me with them. 

My brother was also stealing my photos and giving them to people without my permission, or selling them.  I asked him where all my school photos were going and found out he was selling them to guys in school and church that asked for one.  They were asking my brother for the photos, not me.  When he married Carmen Wilson, who turned out to be Mossad and joined the U.S. Army as well, she asked me to be in her wedding and then told me if I wanted a picture I had to pay her for one.  When I visited them, I discovered all of my personal yearbooks, that I owned and had paid for, and with notes written to me inside of them, were at their house:  Carmen and Levi's house.  I asked for them back and they forced me out of the house and told me to leave.  They stole my yearbooks and never returned them to me.  Carmen, the Jew, knew as well as Levi that they were mine because my name was all over them.  She is not only Jewish, she joined the U.S. Army and then joined some church that has all of these British (England) connections and people from Kate Middleton's entourage.  Not to mention the fact her last name was Wilson, and she met my brother at the same church I was hunted down to work for Jew Lorraine Rose (whose maiden name is Wilson).  When I mentioned the word "Mossad" Carmen freaked out with that word, and narrowed her eyes into mean and alarmed slits, more with that mention than anything else I ever brought up around her.  Her reaction to this was so unconscious and obvious, it made it clear she had a connection to them.

How?  Through Kate Middleton?  For all I know, she divorced him after taking everything, in an effort to keep their cover of working together against me and thought it was best if they "split up and go separate directions" so if the bloodhounds sniffed one out they wouldn't assume the other was involved too. 

She supposedly quit contacting my mother after Katie Middleton's wedding but actually, she quit contacting her after they found out I was moving back to Coquille.

So when I think it's odd that the FBI and Annette Sandberg and her "pals" and "gals" and my family, and the military think it's fine for my brother to be around my son Oliver, but not me, it's a legitimate concern.

These government employees have allowed anyone and everyone near my son except the only person that loves him and tried to protect him with her own life, and left this country in that attempt.

It's not about "jealousy" because I had others jealous of me for decades until they felt better about themselves, I guess, and felt they'd dragged me down enough they didn't feel that jealous concern anymore.  What it's been about is attempts to literally kill me, to defame me, try to frame me, and torture of me and my son, and then I'm left to wonder how it is that Katie Middleton has figured into my family when I was being assaulted and defamed?

It's like I am either not biologically related to either my Mom or Dad, or I am only to one set of twins, or it's that the story I'm biologically related to Edward Howard is true and people used this to get to him, or I am biologically related but one of them gave either sperm or an egg to create Katie Middleton by IVF and then dumped on me my entire life to prop her up instead.  It's already obvious that Edward Howard had least something to do with my life. 

At this point, it would then be Katie in a position of power to do favors for the Dicksie or Bob who assisted her all that time, and to shut down my bank accounts, my email accounts, and force my property to her.  Which would be a motive for having me think they are enemies, not friends, and that she's the English accent or European accented person that cut my Mom.

I also think Jew Josh Gatov's comment, with  use of knives and knowledge of my history, about "What would your Dad think to know you were taken by a Jew?" after raping me, was first of all, a rape-hate comment, but secondly, it could have a second allusion if it is true that either one of the Bob's or Dicksie's is Jewish and somehow adopted me and assaulted me secretly to promote the agendas of others.

Maybe it wasn't bad instructors who didn't want me to be a gymnast.  Maybe it was that they knew my Dad when I was taken in and it was all a part of pushing me out of everything, in a passive-aggressive move to have me leveled over someone or some politics.  Why have me fall off high beams like that, just as I was scared off from my diving in a pool, unless you're trying to get rid of potential competition?  The first week I was doing rounds on high beams (bars).  Even the piano teacher I had was worthless but it was the only thing I was physically pushed out of.  Instead of teaching me classical piano, it was Old McDonald, when I was at a level where I composed my own music and it wasn't by reading music, but it also wasn't as rote as Old McDonald.  I never saw any money because I was forced to work and "pay for everything except for your underwear" by age 11.  This was the demand.  My mother said she was no longer buying me anything, at all, and that anything I wanted: clothes, toys, books, make-up, candy...whatever I wanted or needed, I was going to work and pay for all of it myself.  I freaked out and said, "You're making me pay for everything?!" and she said, "Well, I'll pay for your underwear, just normal regular underwear, and you can pay for the rest."

I was forced from child labor at age 11, out of my own financial independence I'd earned a right to, because of hate crimes in part for Katie Middleton and out of jealousy.  So where I was forced to work as a kid, in child labor, by the time it would be the most normal thing to have a career and house and car and supporting myself as an adult, I was being told now it's the reverse and I get to be "mentally ill" and "disabled" and "not a mother" and have a bank account "co-owned by your Mom", and not be financially independent in any way.

In the middle, I was forced to take work for U.S. federal employees, and I wasn't allowed to choose except for a few times, and even if I chose my line of work (with kids) then the U.S. Army and CIA and FBI blocked me from keeping my own child.

While I was in Wenatchee, from 2009-2010, my Dad was trying to persuade me over the phone to hook up sexually with some man, some Mexican man, or any of them, when I've never done this and it would disparage me and ruin my reputation.  Why tell me to act like a hooker?  My own Dad?  I guess, which one of them, since they're twins, or if neither are, then my biological Dad is Edward Howard, as stated to me.  Enough references have been made to have me believe this is true but I still can't completely believe one of the Bob's is really not my biological Dad.  I guess adoptive, but still.

So what was the "big plan God has"?  That Katie goes to the royal chair after I'm in the electric chair?  That I get raped by a Jew who only knew to have knives on him for intimidating me, by government employees?  Maybe I was not only raped by a Jew, but raised by one who hated my guts and wanted to make someone else suffer and secretively use me knowing I wouldn't know about it.

It's like, yeah, one of my parent's acted like it was important that I file a CAT complaint against Canada and then at the same time I tried, what was done?  I was drugged, heavily.  I was not only being burned and targeted with severe and extreme torture from NASA and Pentagon, which is possibly facilitated because of implants I have from surgeries from the VA that my parents are aware about; I had my teeth being blown out, for a second time by military; I had massive doses of chemicals and fumes released into my house while I was awake and while I was asleep, to the point of being so unconscious people broke into my house while I was still inside (at night); and while I was being tortured and poisoned, I was being harassed by people like Detective Brian Grose who lied and said the only reason to relive and retell the entire situation of rape by U.S. military (and law enforcement) employee Josh Gatov was because they were going to press charges and then he told me it was "too late", after harassing me during an important time of writing my CAT report and trying to get into college.  In addition to this, law enforcement was using employees of the college to harass me and demand phone conferences claiming they had reports I was mentally ill and they wanted to talk to me.

It's the same with one of the Dicksies, who got hostile whenever I tried to fight and get records to have my son returned, and she made it obvious she didn't want me to have a chance in court because it would mean calling potentially her, and my brother, and Dad, and others as witnesses by supeonea as to their role in discussions with U.S. government employees.  As long as that was a possibility, my brother kept a distance and didn't call or email, and neither did my parents.  What I noticed occurring at the same time, was new case law being made, that would make it harder for me to get discovery, in the event I was able to push for the information or retrial or appeal.  I had a bad intuitive feeling about it when it happened and looked up the name and religion of the lawyer and it was a female Jew.  The only reason I looked her up was because my hunch told me she had worked on that case law not just for that case but as a protective measure for my mother Dicksie and potentially, I guess Dad, to make it harder for me to figure out who was lying about me to government workers in Wenatchee, to the State authorities, and federal government, because then that would potentially incite me to speak up sooner about things my parents have done in the past and who they've worked for, which would directly impact their strategy in propping up Katie.

It would also reflect on the Jews who were controlling my parents around that time, who were also connected to rapists.  Like Barb Greenman.

What was I going to find out?  That my Dad knew Josh Gatov personally?  Or that my mother did, through one of her Jewish friends?

Judy Roark's daughter married a Jew but she also always called my mother a "Jew".  My mother was always wanting to claim it was a comment about how frugal she is, and her budgeting, but why disclaim this to me?  she never disclaimed anything when she was said to have Scottish thrift.  Judy said it affectionately, but always said, "Oh Dicksie, you're such a Jew."

After all, what is it that's been said around me, about my family and my situation that is "so bad you don't even want to know"?  It has to be very bad.

So, what? for example?  One of my parents is a Jew and they took me from a mother who is not and a father they and the government and Mossad hate, and tortured me to get at him his entire life?  the entire time, raising me as their own and using the concept of forging a bond as a way to retain me when I wondered why everything was going wrong?

I think yes, my parents, one or both sets of the twins have been manipulated and tortured and suffered themselves, but some of the things done to me were choices they made freely.

How did the one that cared about me manage to displace their affections and transfer them to some other child instead?

I guess everyone has a price.  Or a point for negotiation. 

I sort of think the other person I remember cutting me was my Dad once, at my house, but if so, it was right around the same time I remember my Mom, and it was when I was older, when no one was doing this to me at that time or a lot and it was a sudden one-time resurge or flashback and maybe to see how I reacted to previous conditioning...I don't know.  It was like one or two times that I remember and then others who could have had the chance were family, Young Life people who came over all the time, and military from the base, along with cops from Moses Lake and some church people.  I wasn't around anyone else really. 

I know the Sandbergs were supporting Middletons, Katie Middleton specifically, by the time I was 8-11 years old.  I don't remember them cutting me, but I can look back on things we all did together and it was like even back then they had friends who were trying out their psychic predictions and making points about what would happen in the future, and some of it was about Katie Middleton, so I know without any doubt that the Sandbergs supported her from the time I was at least....I'm thinking of a hike we once took that involved a woman who was seen without her bra, and I might have been 9-11 years old and I think maybe 11 or so.  It had to do with Middleton.  I guess she herself could have been about 2-4 years old but her parents were of course, Sandberg's age.  There was no one else on the hike--just my family and Jim and Shirley Sandberg and then some other psychic government couple, one who went without her bra or shirt.

They owe a lot to the Sandbergs.  The Middletons do.  I remember they (Jim and my Dad) both came back to where the rest of us were waiting and were laughing and said, "We just saw a bear!"  We said what? and they were joking about how they had just seen a "bear/bare" and said they went around the corner and it was a couple with the woman's shirt and bra off.

Which is, you notice, something Katie broadcasted before she got pregnant herself. 

And then later that couple came walking down the mountain past us, and the woman with a big smile on her face.  I sort of still remember what she looked like, even though I don't remember the man as much.  She looked like Carol Middleton but had blonder hair, not brown as hers is now.  She was between 5'5-5'7, sort of average height, and had about a B cup.  She was tanned and had muscular legs and her hair was shoulder-length, had a wave to it, and down. She had an enormous grin on her face.

My Dad and Jim supposedly went off to either find a place to use the bathroom or went ahead to see what up a trail where it branched off, because I remember there was a split in the hiking trail.  They were gone for about maybe anywhere from 10-20 minutes but it was possibly up to a half hour.

There were other things that happened with the Sandbergs that makes me certain they were supporting Middletons back at least that far, I know Annette Sandberg did nothing but defame me to FBI she worked with and now she has a nice "phat" house and property out of what she's done, which she didn't buy until after Katie Middleton's wedding.  I was 100% wrong about Sandbergs and misjudged them completely except for the fact that I always knew Shirley didn't like me.  What I misjudged them on was truthfulness.   They lied about me, and Annette, in D.C., from her position there, lied about me, knowing how it put me in danger of being drugged, poisoned, and harmed and discredited by FBI she worked with, transportation people, military, and cops.  Then, as it turns out, one of the individuals she was always supporting, that her family chose to support, was Katie Middleton.  Not to mention they were also connected to people in transportation and construction like the Maiers family, Sharon McGuire and her FBI husband, and others who eventually proved they were involved in trying to kill me.

I think some of the psychics like my Mom or Dad might have thought they could bond to Katie since she is the same way, because my mother also did the same with Carmen and Char, and I know Char is psychic.  So maybe that's something to have in common.  My mother, one of the Dicksies, rarely talked to me that much and found it more interesting to connect to others who were psychic and/or flattered her, but possibly some of the distance was because well...

I was wired.  Gee.  It's what everyone wants.  A walking Dictaphone for the government.  Being implanted with microchips and wires has really made for fun family times for me personally.  Real fun.

I was weird yes, but guess what.  I was also wired.  It wasn't my fault and I never participated willingly.  I also wasn't a fire starter.  I'm sure Katie bested me in that category.

The CIA wants criminal inclinations and they like psychics.  I was too tortured to be one, or not even related to have that tendency.  Anyway.  Seriously.  What did Katie blow up?  Or set on fire?  Because don't tell me I was being pressured to do this but she wasn't ever.  So between her age of 8-15, probably more like 9 or 10 to age 15, were there any fires, auto collisions, blow-ups, or "accidents" with her involved?  I am of the opinion she was convinced to commit a crime.  If not, I would wonder why she was not being pushed to commit crimes, like I was...instead they honed her psychic abilities?

Also, whenever my brother got involved I'm not sure.  I know he started spontaneously calling me "Fool" out of the blue and I think that was from someone at Moses Lake Christian School that he picked it up.  I mention this because of the parallel with my remembering the verse code of "it is better to meet a bear with her cubs than a fool in his folly" and I remember my brother started calling me "Fool" all the time.  I think it was something he picked up from Stevie and Paul.  He didn't use any other description, just that one and I thought it was odd when he first began using it to address me, his sister.  That started either in 1990 or by 1991-1992.

Then he and Carmen thought it was just hilarious when he commented about "look! there's a fork in the road!" after Carmen spent my entire birthday humiliating me and recommending I have a boob job. It was my birthday and that was all she wanted to talk about, and then to humiliate me telling me maybe I could find a boyfriend online.  I had a horrible feeling--a depressed, bad vibe feeling that night.  I felt I was picking up on something else besides her--someone else's misery.

 Then, even weirder, she didn't need liposuction at all but she had it done, on her inside thighs which is where I have cut scars of a V and dots from some form of torture as a baby or toddler.

For anyone who thinks they have a right to be mad over this post I've made, what right do you have, when you never cared about the murder of my unborn child and torture and kidnapping of my living son?

You have no right to make any kind of accusations until you face yourselves in the mirrors and figure out why you colluded to murder and torture children.  By the way, have you returned my son?

He is kidnapped.  What have YOU done to investigate a kidnapping that is a government crime, and return him to me?

I guess one more odd thing about after an assassination attempt of me in Sherwood is my Dad suddenly said he wasn't going to do music anymore.  At all.  I don't know which Bob, or if someone told him to do this, but he said he wanted to help me with MY music aspirations so he was going to give all of it to me.  This was several keyboards, guitars, speakers, recording equipment and mics--the works.  So I felt bad about this and told him not to and said to keep doing music and then, what was weird, was he went from saying he was giving me everything and not doing music anymore, to telling me I couldn't touch anything when he decided he'd keep it.  This was what I got for saying "Don't do that, you should keep it and keep working on music."  So then suddenly, he did keep it and I wasn't allowed to touch anything, use anything, or play around with it.  I don't know why someone would have my Dad offer to give me an entire music studio and then when I declined and said it's okay, why don't you keep working on it, I was then not allowed to have any part of it at all.  If I had wanted to, I could have taken it all.  Then, it even went to his telling me he didn't want me working with him on a CD but Heidi Thompson was going to be backup (and I don't think they get along with those people anymore, and their daughter was in London, England prior to Middleton's wedding, and then came back and told me "I don't think you should go to England.  Maybe France for you."  I was never allowed to touch or use the recording equipment because "you might mess it up" and I was never allowed to ride the horse trained in English dressage because "you might mess her up".

I didn't care that much about the horse, though I always wanted to ride and asked all the time.  But what hurt my feelings and confused me was how I was offered everything and then when I politely declined out of respect, I wasn't allowed to touch or use anything, ever.

The next time I was around music people with equipment, one stole my music and didn't return my calls (White Horse musician/drummer Tim) and the other one had me make an entire CD and then didn't give me a copy (Erik Cedarburg).