there was no problem all day and all yesterday with my computer until now. Now it's overheating. I had a hell of a day today and at the end, when I went into the Nazarene church, I felt a lot of peace and it was good. I sensed the presence of God there but I didn't know why church bells were rung 8 times and then I was walking out onto "Stevens" street from the church doors, and there was bright orange throw up all over the sidewalk. Someone had deliberately spewed or threw a mashed up concoction where it hadn't been before. I turned around and walked back into the church and I asked for my name and number back but then I regreted it because obviously, if someone is putting out gross symbols like that, it's to be intimidating and disgusting. Someone did this twice. They did it with orange and then there was some vanilla yogurt cartoon with throw up appearance there. The whole thing was sick. When I had walked in, she was wearing the same shirt I had worn in my "kitty" photos, but she wore it in blue.
I had a very good feeling while in the church, so nothing against the woman or the church (Nazarene), it was that I second guess what I am doing when I see throw up all over the place when I'm coming out. It wasn't there before and then it was. But also, I wondered why her book spoke of death on the back and then she was listening to a song about heaven. No big deal but anyway.
I tried to look at an apartment but all this symbolic stuff was everywhere, with batteries, and stuff about being hot, heating up and potato on the microwave and then a shirt that said "wenatchee valley hospital project" on it. Books with weird titles, and it was very intentional. I didn't feel comfortable because of it. And then the guy said it wasn't available until the day of my hearing. I felt he just wanted me to write down my name and number. So I didn't and left and he asked why and this is one that was coming with a housekeeper too, but I said, "It's not clean enough." He said, "What do you mean it's not clean?" and I said, "There's all this symbolic shit all over the place and I don't like it." And I left with him behind and the door swinging shut behind.
I was right to do so, because the gardener thought everything was hilarious and the man had been putting lumber into his truck and then there's this purple motorcycle by it and next a couple of blue tracks and then a couple of red ones with plates that said, "DC, Got Christ? It's Hell Without Him" and the next one said "EXplosion"
and it was just bad news vibes in that room. It was attractively decorated but too many battery, "hot" and otherwise weird symbols. I also didn't like how this pair of Levi's jeans was out on the dresser because it made me think of my brother and what was that supposed to mean? He said someone was living here, but there was no luggage or shower supplies anywhere. Just a couple of spaced parcels and then this enormous mountain of change piled on top of the dresser, like no one I know would have. So I said pass, and "my ass" to giving him my autograph (not really, but in my mind did).
Then I went to the next place, was going to go to a store, organic one, but stopped by my bank to grab a cup of coffee. There was none so I went upstairs and made some and brought it down for them. I didn't know where the kitchen was but I made only a couple of steps wrong and then turned through the maze right and then I saw a brown marker next to an erase board and wrote "life is like a box of choc-lits, you never know what you're gonna get...--brunhilda". I washed their dishes and left and to the organic store I got spring rolls (my favorite ones), a nut-seed bar and water.
Then I was walking to use a restroom and passed this man and said something to him about the weather, just, "It's suddenly so cold!" I piped up as he was passing without a word. He said yes and I said, "Let there be light! Presto!" and made a motion with my hands as it had clouded over a little. Then he asked me if I knew where a jeweler's was and I said I wasn't sure, and he pulled out a watch and said he had to have his watch fixed. I was in a chattier mood today and asked this other guy who was first leaving the organic store how much liquor he'd bought. He had this huge paper sack twisted up at the top and I was just joking around and he laughed. So then I walked up the road and passed a sculpture window and looked and it was "november flirts" (two deer) and a foal curled up called "A Colt's Egg". I walked away thinking, hmm, colt's egg? goose egg-colt egg, egg, egg...colt, colt, whatsa colt and why isn't it a foal? then I was tired and back to my house but stopped at the church where the bells began to ring. I thought it was all good until I was walking out to throw up on the sidewalk. I then walked back, took back my name and number and gave her the number for this counselor, who I later remembered is a marriage counselor, and then I flipped to the first verse that came up in a Bible there, to leave something and it was Nehem. 2:17 but I read to 2:18 and thought it was okay--the rest I didn't like in that version because it's against "Arabs" and I don't feel that way, but thought more of a building up of something in general.
I'm still running, from whatever sad fate is in store for me. I am trying to take unexpected turns and keep winding up on a path that feels like a joke of some kind. The strangest thing to happen today was that I was walking along the sidewalk and saw this man way off in the distance. I didn't feel like passing people and so I took a turn and then discovered it was a dead end. I said, "Maybe I can find a hole in the fence?" She said, "I don't think so. Good luck!" So I get to the fence, and there was no hole. It was tall and chainlink and other material. Very solid. I did not feel like walking all the way back out of the dead end, so I threw my bag over the fence and in 2 seconds, was up and over. I am so out of shape, I don't know how I did it but it felt very fluid. So then I think I'm going to cut across the canal and it's too deep and no bridge so I stand there for a few minutes with the song "The Water Is Wide" to mind and end up taking this path through the briar. When I came out the other side, totally different angle and direction, who should be approaching at that very minute but the guy I was trying to avoid in the first place? I wasn't avoiding him in particular, just people. So there he was and I said, "You again." I was joking with him and he laughed but then we were walking together. We weren't just going to pass eachother now, NO, now we were going to walk together. It was so, so, weird. So this man is about 70-80 years old. I joked I had seen him in the distance and was trying to get away and take a detour and there he was again, and at that time exactly. I said he must be military and he said no but I had to know. I said, "I would think you were in military, probably Navy" and then he said he was in the Navy for 4 years. I'm not sure if he was telling the truth. I guess when I think about it, it's not that odd, because I had not taken that road before and didn't know so no way of knowing. And he was bound to be there, if he turned and otherwise he'd be going to the hills so it made sense. I guess it probably was not that out of the ordinary. But then, he and I were walking and this guy decides to stand there with a big triangle on the back of his yellow and blue jacket, like the one side of the jewish symbol that a man drew out for me while I was in Maryland. It was the male half and he turned for me to see and then turned back very slowly. This is right past, just a block down from where someone put up that sign about "anti jewish" stuff. So my quesiton is, how would this guy, who wants me to see the triangle, how would HE know where that anti semitic sign was?
I basically just left the house to look at the apartment and then get something to eat and that was all. It was sort of a lot of harassment all the way again. I just don't know why that landlord wanted me to go all the way out there for nothing, when he knew it would be strange for me to see all of that stuff. He asked me over the phone, "So how long are you staying in town" like he expected me to be leaving. I've talked to him before and I told him I wasn't leaving without my son. So he sounded relieved or like, okay, but then he makes it clear he's not going to rent to me or that there would be trouble if I did try. Not only was there stuff about heating things up (even the pen he gave me to use said "warm springs"), I was sitting there, and it was happening so it was something in the house. When I left, there was nothing. So it was just something in that house for some reason and by the kinds of cars lined up for me to pass, it was pretty obvious some were trying to make a point that without my "christ" person, whoever that is, there was going to be trouble for me. It wasn't like I was passing up a viable option. I was passing up something that was not going to happen on time or at all. He told me over the phone it was available now, but then he was saying when I talked to him that it wasn't ready until the 24th, which is the date for the next hearing.
I was going to go to the police station after that and start filing some reports but I decided to wait a day and think about some things.
The other thing I noticed was that this man who was latino had his household calling out "bye!" and "bye, bye!" from the doorway and then the girl said, "Bye Lucky" and then she said next, "Bye Johnny" but there was no "lucky" there and if there was a johnny, I was wondering what latino (there was only one there) is going by "johnny" these days. So they were saying, bye, goodbye lucky, and goodbye johnny over and over, about one block from where I was turning to see this apartment that was rigged. The man renting, or who showed me the place, was putting boards of wood into a blue truck with WA plates of B15571F. His name is Jim. In front of his truck was a purple motorcycle with plates of A4678WA. Then a Black BMW with Bellevue plate frame and number 550 VLG. In front of this car, a blue truck with plates B27917K. Then, a car missing and up next was the one with the DC "got christ? it's hell without him." and plate numbers 442 RQU. The next one was a Red Silverado truck with the "Explosion" sticker on the window and plates A79764R. All washington plates.
(keep listening to and practicing singing this version of Lagan Stream:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-MqQLyKguE) I can picture this being sung to a baby. The other version is more of an anthem and this one is sort of a lullaby and romantic ballad.
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