My mother found my blog. She said she didn't think it was so great and that I came across as "sounding off" on a variety of issues. What would she think if I told her it's what I want to do for a living? and that I am thinking of starting a non-profit in the future to faciliate this sounding off? I believe in free speech and in getting the truth out, whether it is unpleasant or not. In our society, many are punished for attempting to bring attention to matters that affect them or others. Sounding off is similar to whistleblowing. If there is no one willing to speak up on certain issues or situations, the behavior is encouraged and allowed to continue, and will continue to harm others. I noticed the title of a non-profit recently, which I really liked. It's called, "Silence is Violence". I absolutely agree. I am an activist and I've been one from the moment I pushed aside my personal fears of retribution and allowed my principles to direct my actions. It's not always easy.
When I was a long-distance runner, there were times my legs would almost fail me. All the pain signals told me to stop. At that point, I told myself (in my thoughts), "One foot in front of the other", and went into auto-pilot. At that moment, my mind or will absolutely took over, and was in control of my body. My feet would continue to move in a rhythm, and when I needed to kick it up a notch at the end, no matter how far I'd run, I was able to get the signal from my brain to my body to move faster. It's almost an out-of-body experience and runners know what I mean. At some point, my will separated from my body and controlled the actions.
It has sometimes been the same with courage and integrity, in my life. There have been times of temptation when I wanted to quit or take the easier path, but I relied on that internal compass to override doubt and weakness. When I wrote back to my mother, who knows about most of the things that have happened to me and what the consequences have been, I told her: "I don't have my reputation anymore. All I have left is the truth. And I am going to be faithful to the truth. I'm not going to hide it, disguise it, exaggerate it, distort it..."
It's a paradox. When I knew the truth about many horrible things and kept it all to myself, out of fear people would retaliate against me, or use their power, money, and resources against me to bury me, I was very popular. I am an extrovert and I had a thriving social life. I could hardly keep up with all of the invitations to parties, lunch, coffee, dates, showers, and the like. I said nothing bad about others or certain situations even though I knew my silence meant it probably continued and was affecting the lives of others. Shunning or the fear of being shunned, and having ones name dragged through the mud, is a very powerful motivation for keeping people quiet. "If you know what's good for you, you'll keep your mouth shut." Most people know getting on the "wrong side" can cost someone their fortune, future, reputation, and sometimes even their life. In some ways, we keep a healthy check in place through this natural form of peer pressure. If most of society believes shooting up drugs is bad, and frowns upon it, isolating those who do it and refusing jobs to users, this creates an incentive for change, even if it's a negative incentive. In other ways, society encourages and supports an immoral status quo, by silence, out of fear speaking out about an issue or person will result in make them a target.
Gaining confidence and courage, for me, has been a process. Everyone is on their own journey and I have to remember most people don't become a whistleblower or activist overnight. Some never will and don't want to. I'm sympathetic and empathetic because I remember what my concerns were before I first ventured out. I believe everyone has the calling though, and I believe it's a social responsibility. The parable of The Good Seed comes to mind. Some people hear the word and it gets choked out by the weeds, other seed falls by the wayside, some seed hits hard ground, and other seed is carried away by the birds. Only a small part of the seed falls to ground that is ready to receive it, and carry it to maturation and harvest. I think we all have opportunities to stand up for what's right and make a difference, or speak out about abuses and hope someone else will get the message and make a difference. But it probably depends upon the person and where they are in their journey. I wasn't ready to speak out when I was younger. I was too afraid.
If I ever became interested in someone at this point in my life, or would consider even marriage, it would only be to an activist. This is who I am. I couldn't spend my life with, or even relate to, someone who was not at a similiar point. I respect and enjoy the company of many different kinds of people, but I would never give up any part of my independence to or for someone who was not on the same page and going in the same direction. I never have, and never will, "settle".
This is how important my philosophies are to me. Last night I began brainstorming. Maybe I would call my organization "Sounding Off"...And the mission would be to get the truth out on a variety of issues, and allow and encourage other people to speak up about things, and share information, esp. about organizations that may act under color of law to deprive others of their rights. I could file complaints for a living.
Ahhhh...That would be the life!
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Hi Cameo. I found your blog tonight and have only had a chance to read some of the articles... specifically the most recent about "sounding off" and about Wenatchee in particular. I have lived here 36 years now. Wenatchee is a great place to live but, like any town, has underlying problems. We also have a lot of great things happening here too. I'll be watching for future articles.
Oh, by-the-way, if you want to get paid while you "sound off", why not consider adding Google Adsense ads to your sidebar? You'll make a few pennies each time someone clicks on one of the ads, which should be content related to your postings.
If you want to know who I am just Google "Carol Wenatchee" and some of my various websites and blogs will pop up all over the first page.
Good luck & Best Regards,
Carol Williams
Carol,
I appreciate receiving your comments! I'll look up your website/blog this morning...already looking forward to it. If you ever want to send me a comment and wish to keep it private, make a note (private) or (confidential) and I won't post it publicly.
You're right about the ads. I should do it. I looked into it, and tried to sign up but it didn't "go". I'll have to try again.
Cameo (Mama), The ads won't generate you a lot of income but, as they say, a penny saved is a penny earned. So, in this case, it can be a penny earned is a penny saved! I get a $100 check from Google about every 6 months. Just pin money but nice.
Hi Carol,
Don't know if you're still reading, and I've not been on for some time (it feels like months!) but I contemplated your suggestion. My main concerns are that if I accept advertising, perhaps I am then "for-profit". I also don't want a lot of clutter. But maybe a non-profit can advertise? I feel it would better, if I want to include my blog as part of my non-profit, not to take money until it's established as non-profit. I wonder how one does taxes for the ads too...Ugg. That might be a mess. I know I wouldn't have to worry about that at first and don't think I could even generate $100 a month, but in the future? What I'd like to do, is incorporate this blog into a non-profit and put a contact for making donations so people could donate to my blog and non-profit if they wanted to. If I were doing that, I would want to be very up-front. I believe in treating people with respect with regard to non-profits, and they should know where their money is going, so I'd like to have a place where I would have reports or whatever. I'm highly accountable and honest, but in these times, it would offer assurance to some people, that their money is going towards the org., and not just into my pocket. I would pay myself a small amount, I think, even at the start, or designate a percentage for myself, but I would do a pie chart or a table or something so people could see where it's going. At this point, why would anyone really care about me? or my blog? or what I say? I say a lot about my own life and hope it helps someone or they are able to commiserate, but I'd like to feel I really directly contribute and help others too--like, with asphalt plant fume info and Labor & Industry stuff, and I still want to get the pesticide info sites to go bilingual so the people most affected by pesticides, Hispanics, can access this info. There's more I'd like to do...I am up for anything that supports human rights...and...I suppose I'm partial to the underdog, but I think I can also be fair. I'm not out to bring someone down just to bring them down or be malicious. I had someone from D.C. once suggest to me that I write about human trafficking of people in other countries. I felt immediately saddened and said i didn't think I could do it. To be so deeply immersed in one subject that is so heartbreaking and tragic...to feel powerless and confronted with that feeling, and seeing the abuse and torture of others...how could I hold up? I've been disturbed by stories I've seen or read on this topic. Human trafficking is almost too close to my bones and under my skin. I told him I'd like to have more variety but didn't know in what field exactly. I'm still not sure, because many things interest me. In a way, besides writing my own stuff, for therapy, and writing about wenatchee and current events the World (Wenatchee World) may not be interested in, I think I'd like to be an educator more than anything. I would like to be able to supply information so others can take it and run with it, and use it for themselves. "Knowledge is power" and "know your rights" go together. At any rate, still brainstorming ideas for my non-profit. I would set it up right and take my time. Anything done well needs a good foundation. Long answer to your suggestion on ads!
Yes, I'm still reading. Your blog won't get cluttered. The side bar is blank unless you put something in it. You can put links to any site you choose (like your favorite non-profits or my real estate site for example - hehehe) and a column of ads that are content related. You should claim any income on your taxes, but you're not going to make enough to make a significant impact on the national budget. ;-)
Keep writing...
You must be so lonely, always pushing people away. You should stop making excuses by blaming everyone else for your problems, and instead focus on building a good life for you and your son. The choices you make dictate the path that you take.
You must be so lonely, always pushing people away. You should stop making excuses by blaming everyone else for your problems, and instead focus on building a good life for you and your son. The choices you make dictate the path that you take.
this response is for "PJ"...I welcome any and all comments, and as you can see, I've published your negative comment along with the positive. My goal is not censorship. I don't want people to censor me, and I respect your say. In response...of course it is sometimes "lonely" to be in a certain position. Anyone who takes a stand against people in power risk being ostrasized and alienated. But that is no reason to give up the good fight. There is a saying, if I may borrow from scripture, that "wide is the path that leads to destruction, and many they are who take it"... and then there is followup about how another path is narrow and difficult. I have never wished trouble or turmoil upon myself or my son. Others, however, have been determined to bring such upon the both of us, with disregard and disrepect for even basic human rights: to speak freely, and to speak the truth, whatever it may be. So lonely...(sigh!) yes, and in the "depths of despair" and distressed. I'm not going to sugarcoat the fact that what others have chosen to do has affected my and my sons life, but, paula, how lonely it is to go to bed at night and realize all ones friends are a farce and shallow and will turn on you and run you into the ground should you ever decide to escape the posse or take another direction. A single woman may admit she is lonely. But lonelier still is the married woman whose husband pays her no attention, or who is not on the same page. I would rather be in bed with myself, all alone, knowing where I stand and absolutely independent, than in bed with one or more who have different goals and values than I do. I have had times where my friends were more than I could count on both hands, and yet I knew I was different and couldn't relate. In my situation and life, I have made one simple choice: to speak the truth, whether it be good or evil. Others also have choices. It is not my choice to have hate crimes leveled against me, planned, and executed, nor is it my choice to be discriminated against because I have made certain discoveries as to a particular faith. My problems, frankly, began with the catholic church. They and those associated made choices. I do not believe they are, and their pope is, a direct descendent of St. Peter. BUT, let's give you/them this...lets say they ARE "peter" or representatives of peter. What happened when Peter cut off the ear of the soldier who was leading christ away? Jesus rebuked him, and put the ear back on the soldier and healed him. Christ does not condone mischief, malice, maligning, and murder in his name. He advocates love and love only. the catholic church will never win people over with extortion and unethical behavior. When a person or church does not exhibit what is called "fruits of the spirit" or a generally decent disposition, there is a problem. So although I may be one of billions if I blindly followed some faith and became part of a fraternity that defends the name of mary or christ, in the name of catholicism, or any other religion or philosophy, it may appear I am not alone. If I become a sheep, blindly following the masses, I may not be alone. Would I be happier, in a great group of sheep as they go in leaps and bounds over the edge, down the cliff? I suppose I would. I suppose I would feel I had great company and reassurance, and advocacy among my peers...and yet I would be taking the wider path that leads to destruction. I will not do this. I have prayed for wisdom and integrity and by the grace of God, I hold onto, and cling to these things, rather than to a group or company of others with which I might have a happier "social life". I am an activist, not a socialite.
The thing you must consider, in that you are a serious activist, is the price your son must pay for your choices. Your life is all consumed with YOUR being a victim, what you think is right, and you sound wise in your own eyes, which the Bible makes clear is dangerous (and yes the Catholic church is fallible--too many have made choices because they are wise in their own eyes). You can't change the Catholics, or anyone else that bothers you or disadvantages you. Christ was severely disadvantaged but died for those who tried to destroy Him. There will always be something wrong with the world, and only Christ can make it right again. The questions is: Will you surrender to His will and follow Him, or your own ideals about activism. Fighting the good fight according to God's word is fighting against self and living for Christ, not taking things into your own hands. The reason why Christ's path is narrow is because people like to solve things apart from Him, doing what they think is right. Those who choose the narrow path deny themselves and take up the cross and follow Him and His interests.
Who have you been listening to? Yourself or Him? Do you really think that a God who is as sovereign, omnicient, merciful, etc. would want you to be so consumed with the problems of the world you live in that it physically wears you down to the point that you are in constant pain and you think that your suffering is worth it for the sake of activism? Especially in light of the fact He's granted you a son, is this really the way you want him to know you? Are you pointing Him to the goodness of God or to the fact that the world is cruel and we must sacrifice everything (health, stable home, pain, relationships) to expose it? "Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, vengeance is Mine I will repay." (Romans 12:19. I don't remember Jesus illustrating in His parables that we as His sheep are to run around thinking that we can change our circumstances. Instead He encourages us to rest in His care as our shepherd. Is that not good enough for you? Do you not trust in His care for your life, He has said He's come to make it abundant. God in His grace has a plan for your life, and has created you the way you are for a glorious reason, but that glory must be for Him only and not you. This is the struggle we as Christians must face--us or Him. I know I battle with it every day, but His mercies are new every morning, and He fills my heart with a peace and love I cannot explain. Maybe that's why I feel so complelled to read your blog and pursue you as a follower in Christ (because I feel His passion for you). God He is a gentleman, He wants to be tender yet meet us where we are at. He waits for us to answer the door, until then He continues knocking gently.
My prayers are with you and your son.
In response to PJs last message--I respect your opinion but completely disagree with your argument. If you want to talk religion, I can quite talk the talk and back myself up with scripture. You seem to think Christ wants all believers to jump into a mold or press and be squeezed out into the same cookie-cutter shapes and sizes. You and I are neither the same shape, or size. You speak of Christ as a passivist and yet forget He was also an activist. American Christians hear, in Church on Sunday, plenty about "turn the other cheek", and "blessed are the meek in spirit". But the key there is "spirit". One may be a raging activist and still have a quiet and obedient spirit as regards their love and devotion to Christ. When is the last time you heard preachers give a homily about the activism of Christ? Have you heard any sermons about turning over the tables in the temple lately? You know what? In that day, had they the laws, Christ could have been arrested for: "disorderly conduct", "vandalism", "harassment" (didn't he call them "vipers!"?), and a number of other things. Christ ALSO very openly lashed out and spoke out, strongly, about some of the pharisees he believed were hypocritical. He even called them names. But of course, you won't hear that behavior being praised in Church, will you? Do you know WHY Christ was crucified? Besides being part of a "bigger plan" as believers preach, on a secular level, Christ was considered to be a troublemaker. He was different. He was also accused of being a "winebibber" (the closest thing to an "addict" in that day) and friend of "sinners", and was also directly accused of being mentally ill. Afterall, he was telling normal townsfolk that HE was the "son of God" and that the way to God and salvation was through HIM. I'm sure some thought he was a little egocentric too. Others probably thought there was something wrong with him for being so friendly with the children who were raised to listen and not speak to the elders unless spoken to. Women, in that day, were lowerclass citizens and yet Christ elevated their position. Even non-believers can read the Bible and see these things. Plenty of people, secular, Jewish, atheist, can think of the historical Jesus and at least say he was a reformer and a good man and anyone can tell he was blackballed into court, railroaded by his accusers and a weak "judge", and then made to pay for his activist ways on the cross. But that's not the "Jesus" you will hear about in Church, which is why I don't blame most people for not WANTING to go to Church. Church can be real slick, just like a business, and offer up the sedatives and comfort foods, but not give anyone any real practical advice, support, or inspiration and challenge. Making a difference in society entails doing good and much as it means one does NOT look the other way when evil or wrongdoing happens. It means having the courage to take a stand. However, we are not the same cookie. You may be a sugar cookie and maybe I'm a gingersnap. You have your own cross and destiny and I have mine. "Bear ye one anothers burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ". Your job, as a "believer", is not to attempt to remove my cross but to lend a hand. Christ did some running in his day, until he felt it was his time "to go". He hid out, even, as many activists, in many countries, are often forced to do. But Jesus rebuked Peter when Peter attempted to convince Jesus to drop the cross. I do not presume to know what your "calling" is in life, PJ, but I know what my calling is. And that's really between me and Christ Himself. If I'm good with God, then all is well, no matter how bad it may be with everyone else. I am not raising my son to be a wimp or a conformist. My son will grow into whoever he is supposed to be, and if that means pacifism for him, I'll be proud of him. But the most important thing is that he sees, in his role models, examples for conviction and strength. Only then, and/or by the grace of God, is it possible for someone to have a solid foundation in life, able to weather what life throws their way. I've weathered more than rotten tomatoes and I'm okay with that. I haven't lost my dignity or convictions, and I respect myself. I have many enemies now because of what I have said and written and have YET to write and say. But you won't hear about that in Church, will you? which is a reason I don't go. You have the same vision of Christ as some quiet, meek, loving shepherd. I want you to put another image in your mind: that of Christ, furious, red-faced, hair askew, throwing down tables and marketgoods and yelling hostile words at the sellers in the temple. Chickens flying everywhere, money sliding onto the ground, women grabbing their children and running out of the way. Men standing up with fists clenched, ready to pummel Jesus. Someone calls the police and Jesus takes off. That very same night, after a hard day's work at the temple, Jesus took a walk into the "wrong side of town" where he sat down to a meal with a known drug dealer, some users, a friendly and chatty prostitute, and the renegade son of a town official. Jesus laughs and takes a glass of wine with dinner. That same night, back among the "civilized", another group is having dinner with important people, including a police officer, the town official whose son is a renegade, a lawyer and one religious man. They are brainstorming ideas on how to best get rid of the troublemaker in town, that "Jesus". All around these two different houses, and groups of people, there are unwitting people in the town, ripe for the taking, for manipulation of their feelings and opinions. Once the right people whisper the right things to the right people, the disinformation will spread through the grapevine, setting the stage and preparing the people to accept the crucifixion of a man who has never really done anything wrong except to make some enemies. Why won't you hear about this in Church? because our society has never liked activists in the first place. It's easier to take the bandana off of Christ's head, and strip him of a possible Rambo image and replace that with a Jesus whose fingers are delicately poised above a gilded book of verse. And don't forget the halo. You know what I'd like to see? A painting of Jesus overthrowing those temple tables, WITH A HALO over his head. Thanks for the inspiration to write PJ.
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