I had a nightmare, that I literally teared hair out of my aunt's hair, when she admitted she was making every effort to adopt my son herself. I had tufts of her hair in my hand and I'm not even like this in real life. So, it was a nightmare. I wouldn't do this to my aunt or want anyone else to do it either. I continue to believe my aunt and uncle are trying to help, and will use their favorable statements in support of me for my own evidence.
But I woke up in a good mood and with this still-constant sense of good energy. I swear to God, something turned around for the whole world in some sense, or just Wenatchee, or someone I know...the sad and "other" vibe has really lifted and I wonder if everyone feels it?
I wonder, because now I have SO many people coming to me, saying they are or were too embarrassed to talk about sensing "vibes" or "energy" but that they understand completely.
I think that's kind of exciting. What a relief actually. That I'm not alone in trying to find a way to describe something you know may have a little bit to do with you but really feel is picking up on something else.
We hadn't returned the movie "The Queen" last night so we watched it again. This time, it didn't skip past the stag moment. It was a nice touch actually.
I'm getting a lot of things done today, and working on my book. I am still securing my library card again, but it's coming along and I've done other things in the meantime.
I'm still doing volunteer work, or trying, but there are a couple of hold ups or things I have to check back with. I am in the peace organization here, but missed a couple of rallys because I was looking for housing on those nights. I am also still planning to do work for the conservatory of music and met some parents whose children go there. In addition, I checked with the Juvenile Rehab job, but it seems anything to do with the state has a hold up. I don't know. My main contact is a nice man and he'll help but I have to go back and forgot to do it last week. But he did say he would assist, so this is still coming along. Preschool volunteerism is something I really want to get into but haven't had a chance to make many calls and I'm not near a phone usually. Will put this on my list as a priority for next week.
At last, I thought this was enough, but I am still mulling over the idea of trying to look into what it might take to make Wenatchee a college town--a university town that is. On this topic of town development, I think there are several big questions and a few small problems.
I guess I'll ramble about this for a little bit. Oh! and I thought I'd add, I heard something on the news this morning about 14% of people in the U.S. being hungry, despite a small turnaround economically. But there are a lot of food drives going on, so this is good. Food is a priority to education, because you can't learn anything on an empty stomach or think about it when trying to feed a family.
Which makes me wonder at why my son has slimmed down so much. Aside from being sick, I think I am going to make a more concentrated effort to contribute to his diet. I assume he's eating well and has all he needs, but I could buy more organic things for him and healthy foods which will fatten him up. I did make sure, last week, even when I had nothing, that he had enough whole organic milk. He LOVES this milk and there is such a diffference and I don't want him drinking the 2% kind yet either. He can still afford the fats and when it's organic, chemicals and pesticides, which are primarily stored in fats, are nothing to worry about.
I felt very challenged myself, after seeing the video by Bono last night. I forwarded it to my parents. This is the right attitude to have, now more than ever. I forget all the time. I hope I'm not the only one who needs constant reminders and doesn't always stay on track with what the right priorities are. Sometimes it's so easy to forget, consummed with cares over other things.
And while I still haven't found a church exactly, I always feel better praising God or taking a little time to give thanks for things and to check in with myself and ask forgiveness for things I've done wrong. Checking in, to be accountable to God and none other.
But anyway, I was thinking about this university idea for the town. No one I've talked to, so far, really likes it or sees the point. In the meantime, I have met family after family that is really tied to this area because of...family. Mainly, tons of people with custody issues and they have to be here for their kids because one parent is here.
As far as I know, from what I've heard, this area has a pretty strong public education system in many regards. But some kids never leave the area and if they do, they come back for whatever reason, but not many are not able to get ahead one way or the other. I heard about one woman in town (whose identifying characteristics will remain completely private) who is supposed to be fantastically smart. I guess, she was able to put together one of those Museum Store puzzles that takes 2 hours for everyone else to do, in 10 minutes. She can look at a credit card or a long number and have it instantly memorized without pause and won't forget. The woman is a total brain, and yet she's been in trouble with the law a little bit (because she's so smart he said) and now she's working at a minimum wage job. She went to college for a very short time.
I think the problem with just having a community college here, is that people can't actually leave this area, much of the time, there are things tying people down to live here. A lot of people going to this community college are taking 5 years to get just their AA besides.
But I heard that a lot of the classes were actually cut this year, because, I was told, Gregoire (or someone) made certain cuts to the state budget, which affected education. I don't know, because I don't keep up with actual politics.
The other problem, or argument I ran into, was that people will argue there are already correspondence classes for Central or Washington State University, where people can get a full degree through distance learning. I know about this, because I checked into completing my own degree here, but it can't be done because the only degrees offered are in teaching and business. If you want to be a teacher or in general business, you can do this, but not for any of the other pursuits. So it's very limiting.
All of the other colleges in surrounding areas, wouldn't like the idea of Wenatchee having it's own university, because it would be competition. That's another cause for concern.
I think even, rather than having a large community college that encompasses everything, but only allows one to go so far, it might be nice to cut some things out and then add some things too. Sort of restructure or readjust the offerings and how far someone can go.
For this area, rather than focusing on same old, same old, like business, which is a degree anyone can get anywhere, I would try to offer some things that would take advantage of the talent and types of skills a lot of people in this area have. People here tend to be better than average in certain things, because their ancestors came here for farming and then the artists came for scenery. Lots of outdoor types too.
I really keep envisioning a culinary institute here. Wine and food. Maybe small scale, but good quality. There's one in Seattle, and they can take advantage of the fresh seafood. But there is room for another. Maybe more specialized? A lot of apple orchards have turned into vineyards in this area. Definitely something to do with wine would go over well I think. And probably game. People are big hunters here and into game. Maybe start honing culinary skills in cooking or preparing game and then the traditional fruits and vegetables. Wine, game, and fresh produce. Maybe, I don't know if it would be too different, then something with Mexican food? I don't know. The Mexican food here is pretty good and it stinks in D.C. where they know how to cook many latin cuisines, but not Mexican. People could...well, maybe I guess you just go to Mexico if you want to learn to cook good Mexican food.
I realized I just like to brainstorm. If I could ever find a job where I'm supposed to think of new angles and ideas all day, that would be the job for me! How fun. I like being big picture but I sort of don't mind looking into small details. I just don't want to be the one to implement the small details.
For a university, I imagined a lot of new things, but maybe it would be better to start out with a very scaled down private school type of approach where it's quality over quantity but at least offering a few degrees which are not the stock trades.
Leave the nursing program where it's at. It's strong enough from what I hear. Leave the music perhaps, if the conservatory wants to take ownership of that, and maybe have a kind of trade with them where tuition could be applied, a kind of exchange? I think with all the possibilities for internship in the environmental and natural/physical sciences, degrees should be offered here. Maybe just choose 4 and then you have to go out of the area if you want to do something different, but there is plenty of scientific talent in the area. Same thing with art and english. There should be at least a few degree offerings for the liberal arts. Teaching and Business are so administrative. We need more than just administative types of degrees because the shoe won't fit everyone. And then probably a degree offering for Spanish and Russian and scrap the other languages. The only ones which could be pursued in depth here, with any accuracy and immersion, are spanish and russian. If you want French or German, I say go to a different university. It's just not used here and the are isn't large enough to encompass everything. Nothing against French or German either, and they have some of THE best foreign films. But if budget is an issue, find the things that can be done well in this area and expound upon it. If anything about business, I would offer an Evergreen college style "design your own" outdoor expedition venture. If any business is offered at all, combine it with the outdoor pursuits of the area.
Oh, by the way, good tip here...I just found out rowing is available in the area and it's cheap! For $20 a year, you can rent a boat and paddles and go out on the river. That is a really, really, good deal, and I got the tip from someone at one of the Catholic homeless places in town.
The thing is, this broad offering isn't taking kids anywhere. Some of them have families that can send them anywhere they want to go, but a lot of them just get lost in the shuffle.
Besides, why not attract NEW people to the area? some foreign students and students from other states? It's possible, but no one is going to move here if it's just a community college. Anyway, that's my "just thinking about it" idea. I have some questions about it so I am thinking...
Of maybe going to some kind of community planning or city planning meetings. I met this one man who is a retired engineer who studies bridge construction and volunteers his time to make sure everything is safe. He's on a community committee. I don't have time for everything and I'm not really interested in being in a community committee or group in general, but if this is a way to find out what might be done, perhaps.
Or, maybe it's one idea I can throw out there and let someone else catch. I have to focus on a few small volunteer ideas, work, and my son right now. I probably cannot take on city planning. But it's an idea. I really think someone should open up a very specialized culinary school here though. Specializing in game and wine. Game, I think, because what else gets killed here? what else is a natural resource? There's not a lot of cattle in the area, or chicken or anything, but there is probably game because a lot of people hunt here and there is even a large taxidermy place. So with their permits, if they eat what they kill, people could learn how to cook what they kill and maybe experiment with their own creative recipes. Game is animals and also birds right? just wild stuff?
And winemaking is sort of getting big, or bigger here, so this would be a good compliment.
*************
An aside, about last night and thinking of diana and her family again...After I watched the U2 video, I felt sort of ashamed. Watching something like that is like going to a good church service or reading something and you realize you got off track for a minute and you suddenly have peace and goodwill for all in your heart again. Well, I shouldn't say it, and it is right that I've been implored not to make so many remarks, but until I'm officially working...well? what else is there to do? but work on getting my son and making commentary?
So anyway, I felt guilty over my gut reaction to Michael of Kent. I saw her photo recently and something hit me. I didn't like her. Instantly, I didn't like her but I don't know if it was this expression she had on her face in the photo or what. THEN, I discovered she and Di didn't get along very well either. I was going to write something sort of off the cuff and sarcastic about her last night and then I saw the U2 video and couldn't cut into anyone, even in a playful way. But it's strange, how I didn't like her and yet I've no reason not to. It might be, that Micheal just has this "look" that is unsettling, or did in the photo I saw. But out of all the photos in this one magazine, she stood out to me. This was my first gut impression. I felt bad about it later though, just a little.
My other comment is for those who feel they must be polite and take what is given to them even if it's the wrong thing. You shouldn't have to accept this, no matter who you are. You don't have to be rude about it, but can say you actually ordered the other thing. You should have what you want. I had someone on the East Coast who got a mixed up order from me and was just going to have it like that. I said no, you should have what you want and what you ordered. So we made it and then it was forgotten about and brought in cold. It was one of the disasters I remember, chicken parmesainga, all my fault, as a waitress. I thanked him for being patient and for his manners. I don't know who it was, but I remember the look in his eyes when I thanked him for having good manners. There was a vulnerability there, inside the more cynical demeanor. I felt like a mom, saying this, but then I later read, in the last few weeks, that Di used to tell her sons to take whatever was given them, whether it was right or not because she didn't want them to appear fussy. So if they got orange juice instead of tomato, they were told to say thank you and leave it at that. I think Diana was exceptional as a mother, but I think this piece of advice isn't right. On occasion, mabye, if it doesn't matter or you don't really care, but you should have what you want. I actually see this in dating a lot. There is a real divide over whether one should correct a waitress or just eat what's set before someone. It's happened to me a lot, where I don't care or someone else doesn't want to care and one has a difference of opinion about whether to send it back or not.
This is what I would say to my son.
If you cannot refuse anything in your own life and assert what it is you really wanted or asked for, I can't imagine one could be happy. Sometimes who cares, but if it matters, you should stick up for yourself.
There were times I let things slide myself though, when I just didn't care. Someone at the pub would say, "So it's Cam? is that short for Cameron?" and I would nod. Who cares what my name is, it was still me. They called me "Kim" and "Cam" and "Cami" and came up with all kinds of ideas about how I got my name and sometimes it was just so busy and too loud to clarify. I didn't mind. I also went by Cameo. It didn't matter. I would just nod and continue with the conversation. Because sometimes it was just this long drawn out explanation of no, it's really cameo and then "how did you get that name" and i'm saying, "I was named after a dog", "No!", "yes, it's true. a beloved pet and show sheltie named cameo." and then on and on and on.
*********************
Listened to Les Mis songs this morning and now onto New Order's "Bizarre Love Triangle"...love it. I can't get enough of this song.
**********
Something happened last night while I was on a psychic chat, just trying it out...I thought I had an impression of a young woman dancing ballet to this one song, and for once I could see a face, or a profile, but not the face. THEN, I was trying to think of who it looked like and I couldn't remember the artist but I said, "You know, the guy who painted the girl with a pearl necklace"...But I couldn't think of it until I was in the car, and then I exclaimed, "VERMEER! that's the name!" So my housemate said he didn't know who that was and I said, "You know, the guy who did the famous portrait of the girl with the ..." and then I said I was going to look it up when I got home and I did, and what surprised me is that I was thinking of two different things. There is the "Girl With The Pearl Earring" and then there is "The Woman With The Pearl Necklace". I first pulled up woman with the pearl necklace,and even though it's not what I was originally thinking of, because you can't even see the front face of the girl with the pearl earring, the profile of the woman with the pearl necklace was almost exactly what I saw in this flash of an image.
What was also sort of strange, was that the woman's hair is pulled back into a bun but it wasn't as small and tight as I saw in this image.
Anyway, it was sort of strange. I have thought about Vermeer off and on this week so I wonder if it's just that something came to mind. But it was very instinctive. I have never seen the portrait of the woman with a pearl necklace before, but it actually fit the image I saw of the profile I wanted to describe. Why Vermeer came to mind and it happened to be a match I have no idea.
***************
ohmigosh. how funny. The same psychic room I visited where I and another person were instructed not to discuss Diana at all...well I just went back to read on that organization and they did a whole "summoning the spirit of princess diana" show! of all things, and I guess it was HUGE, huge. Well, you can't blame ONE administrator for everything so I might try it again sometime, but I was sort of surprised. It's not like this place has had a long-standing policy of keeping di out of the conversation...one guy tells me we cannot dicuss her "because she is very english and doesn't want to be discussed" and yet this huge television program to try to contact her spirit went all over the world. I guess there are a lot of people, still, with different opinions on what is proper or not and how to treat the subject.
tried it again. they asked me to apologize first, to everyone, including the name of the royal family (which I hadn't thought i'd offended) first. I realized, wow, i think that culture is just the same thing as the us, with a couple of mittens and kilts and NO! it really is an entirely different culture. so, kind of interesting. even little customs, traditions and sayings. fun to learn more though
****************
had an image of her
brushing down his tweed jacket
grey
herself
with a lint brush or roller
on the shoulders and down the arm
(while listening to jesus, lover of my soul)
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Bono Gives Blessings To God
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6OJk8SJ_FNQ
Wow. Just found this. That, right there, is warfare. Warfare against negativity and war itself. I love watching Bono. This beginning makes me think of King David, playing unto the Lord.
Music is and will always be, powerful, and can accomplish great and miraculous things.
I started feeling like I needed to hear some worship music and I typed in worship and this was the first thing that came up. It is amazing. I think I will be listening to it all night.
I heard the recession is turning around which is maybe why the energy felt better to me, in general, someone told me today, it's turning around. I think it would be wonderful if we had an economic recovery and an emotional and spiritual one as well. A sort of revival, giving thanks to God for the good things in our lives and remembering Him. Remembering priorities. I hear this and it's all good energy.
Then I went down the playlist and am now listening to the others. I think I needed this. I hope it means something to others too, to hear some of this music. It's good for the soul.
I just found out U2 has an album titled "How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb" and I don't know it, but really cool, the name. To name an album of music like this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GkEQS5SJZPU&NR=1. I found this one too. I listened to "Draw Me Close To You" and then found another song I like, "Yahweh".
Wow. Just found this. That, right there, is warfare. Warfare against negativity and war itself. I love watching Bono. This beginning makes me think of King David, playing unto the Lord.
Music is and will always be, powerful, and can accomplish great and miraculous things.
I started feeling like I needed to hear some worship music and I typed in worship and this was the first thing that came up. It is amazing. I think I will be listening to it all night.
I heard the recession is turning around which is maybe why the energy felt better to me, in general, someone told me today, it's turning around. I think it would be wonderful if we had an economic recovery and an emotional and spiritual one as well. A sort of revival, giving thanks to God for the good things in our lives and remembering Him. Remembering priorities. I hear this and it's all good energy.
Then I went down the playlist and am now listening to the others. I think I needed this. I hope it means something to others too, to hear some of this music. It's good for the soul.
I just found out U2 has an album titled "How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb" and I don't know it, but really cool, the name. To name an album of music like this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GkEQS5SJZPU&NR=1. I found this one too. I listened to "Draw Me Close To You" and then found another song I like, "Yahweh".
UK Psychic Site Bans Diana Discussion
Return to www.psychics.co.ukfamily.psychics.co.uk
Disappointing. What a crock. I ended up in a chat for "psychics" or those interested, and it happens to be uk oriented and someone brought up diana and visiting london. This "administrator" gets on and decides to shut down conversation of whether diana was high maintenance or not, claiming it's disrespectful. This, from a site that has mediums consulting spirits of the dead. He said, "Let's just say Diana is very english and wouldn't want to be discussed."
My eyebrows up, I clicked out. Diana is very "english". How ridiculous. You could call up Gengis-Khan in that room and anyone from any country all over the world, but one guy has a problem with people talking about whether she was low-key or more of a fashion plate and what we think about the media.
Not going back to that site. It was just one administrator, but it's hogwash.
What was odd, is that everything being said was more complimentary torwards her and critical of the media. We were starting to talk about whether we thought she was high maintenance or not and what the media's role was in everything. All of a sudden, the guy is wanting to shut it down. Meanwhile, conversation about miscarriage, death, spirits, and all sort of discussion about "the dead" is going on and no notice.
That was my first experience with a psychic site. It was free, to whomever wanted to write in. It's not a bad site, not at all. But who are the administrators?
I snuck in my last two cents, and then wrote "I've had my say. Goodnight."
Disappointing. What a crock. I ended up in a chat for "psychics" or those interested, and it happens to be uk oriented and someone brought up diana and visiting london. This "administrator" gets on and decides to shut down conversation of whether diana was high maintenance or not, claiming it's disrespectful. This, from a site that has mediums consulting spirits of the dead. He said, "Let's just say Diana is very english and wouldn't want to be discussed."
My eyebrows up, I clicked out. Diana is very "english". How ridiculous. You could call up Gengis-Khan in that room and anyone from any country all over the world, but one guy has a problem with people talking about whether she was low-key or more of a fashion plate and what we think about the media.
Not going back to that site. It was just one administrator, but it's hogwash.
What was odd, is that everything being said was more complimentary torwards her and critical of the media. We were starting to talk about whether we thought she was high maintenance or not and what the media's role was in everything. All of a sudden, the guy is wanting to shut it down. Meanwhile, conversation about miscarriage, death, spirits, and all sort of discussion about "the dead" is going on and no notice.
That was my first experience with a psychic site. It was free, to whomever wanted to write in. It's not a bad site, not at all. But who are the administrators?
I snuck in my last two cents, and then wrote "I've had my say. Goodnight."
My Computer Thinks I'm Diana
Had to post about a quirk.
My computer thinks I'm Princess Di.
I guess. Well, it's not that I believe a computer has a mind of its own, but it's strange that I got ads directed to me which have nothing to do with my browsing habits.
Yesterday, I was in my hotmail account and every single ad that came up was for "colon cleansing" and "colonic remedies". I have never, in my life, looked up colon cleansing.
I wasn't emailing about it either and I was in my email account. The only thing I did on my computer, was look up a couple things about Di after I read the article by Charles Spencer, the one about saving "the estate" from extinction (rule 1: marry well or don't marry at all, GOT IT Harry & Will & future progeniteurs?!).
Anyway, I didn't click on even one health item, and nothing about Di that mentioned colon treatments but all of a sudden, a mixture of psychic and colon remedies.
Well, it's certaintly better than the other ads I was getting, about a mother dying with a little boy kneeling at the tombstone, or of a father dying with a young woman kneeling, or of a kid being jangled about in a carseat, or of the rat ad. Glad I haven't seen the rat ad in awhile, I must say.
I swear to God, it must be that someone famous has an interest in me and all the forces of heaven and hell are at war. Wouldn't it be fun to write as if it's really all about me and how so many things are being put in my way to prevent me from fulfilling a destiny some couldn't stomach? it would be a good story.
Sometimes, though, I feel more like Bella from the Twilight series, than even Diana at times. I mean, come ON, have you...oh, I don't know. It's like, I should be cashing in on the story of my own life, not Ms. Meyers!
(I am playing in fun)
Thinking again, maybe it is not just that someone sort of important (in some way) has noticed me, maybe I am actually important in my own right, for some reason that I do or don't know about yet.
Last night I talked to some people in a psychic chat, about what to do if I get an impression about things. You really don't know who you're talking to is the problem but some said to write it down and not try to find the meaning right away but let it come to you, more in detail. Which is probably a good idea. The locket thing was what bothered me the other day.
I feel very sympathetic for her family too. A lot of people died under mysterious circumstances and it's really horrible. As rigid as her brother's article was, I have a soft spot for him too. He has seen a lot.
There has been less of the very sad or bad feeling I was getting but I know things are not good for everyone. Not even for me really, but that empathy thing has really evened out. I wonder if part of it is that my son is feeling better? If he really isn't having problems with his eye anymore, and is sleeping okay, then this would be a good reason to feel better I think.
Really, God bless all those who try to look out for my son. Anything that has been done and can be done, to keep him safe and make him happy, I'm so thankful for.
Hmm, wait. It's google too. I just got another ad for colon cleansing. Oh, but I have written about it now, so that makes sense. But I got these ads from google too, yesterday.
My computer thinks I'm Princess Di.
I guess. Well, it's not that I believe a computer has a mind of its own, but it's strange that I got ads directed to me which have nothing to do with my browsing habits.
Yesterday, I was in my hotmail account and every single ad that came up was for "colon cleansing" and "colonic remedies". I have never, in my life, looked up colon cleansing.
I wasn't emailing about it either and I was in my email account. The only thing I did on my computer, was look up a couple things about Di after I read the article by Charles Spencer, the one about saving "the estate" from extinction (rule 1: marry well or don't marry at all, GOT IT Harry & Will & future progeniteurs?!).
Anyway, I didn't click on even one health item, and nothing about Di that mentioned colon treatments but all of a sudden, a mixture of psychic and colon remedies.
Well, it's certaintly better than the other ads I was getting, about a mother dying with a little boy kneeling at the tombstone, or of a father dying with a young woman kneeling, or of a kid being jangled about in a carseat, or of the rat ad. Glad I haven't seen the rat ad in awhile, I must say.
I swear to God, it must be that someone famous has an interest in me and all the forces of heaven and hell are at war. Wouldn't it be fun to write as if it's really all about me and how so many things are being put in my way to prevent me from fulfilling a destiny some couldn't stomach? it would be a good story.
Sometimes, though, I feel more like Bella from the Twilight series, than even Diana at times. I mean, come ON, have you...oh, I don't know. It's like, I should be cashing in on the story of my own life, not Ms. Meyers!
(I am playing in fun)
Thinking again, maybe it is not just that someone sort of important (in some way) has noticed me, maybe I am actually important in my own right, for some reason that I do or don't know about yet.
Last night I talked to some people in a psychic chat, about what to do if I get an impression about things. You really don't know who you're talking to is the problem but some said to write it down and not try to find the meaning right away but let it come to you, more in detail. Which is probably a good idea. The locket thing was what bothered me the other day.
I feel very sympathetic for her family too. A lot of people died under mysterious circumstances and it's really horrible. As rigid as her brother's article was, I have a soft spot for him too. He has seen a lot.
There has been less of the very sad or bad feeling I was getting but I know things are not good for everyone. Not even for me really, but that empathy thing has really evened out. I wonder if part of it is that my son is feeling better? If he really isn't having problems with his eye anymore, and is sleeping okay, then this would be a good reason to feel better I think.
Really, God bless all those who try to look out for my son. Anything that has been done and can be done, to keep him safe and make him happy, I'm so thankful for.
Hmm, wait. It's google too. I just got another ad for colon cleansing. Oh, but I have written about it now, so that makes sense. But I got these ads from google too, yesterday.
Oliver's Eyes "Better" For Now & Visitation
I asked how Oliver's eyes are doing and supposedly, he's not fussing with them at all. He's been playing and happy.
So I'm glad to hear this, however, I have to see how he acts in visits because sometimes what I'm told is different from what he says.
I am going to get statements from the Avila's in support for increasing telephone visitation with my son and for increased visitation period. If they have any problem with this, it will clear then, what I'm dealing with and how honest they are about wanting my son to have what HE wants and not what THEY want (to adopt him out from under me).
So, I'm getting what I can, in writing. There is no excuse for the delay in increased visitation.
If Oliver is transitioned smoothly, and visits are increased, there should be no problems for anyone and everything will be under control and resolved. If I should have any problems with getting my son back, there will be a fight.
And my son WILL know, and appreciate what I've done, and there is no way, after he is aware of the truth and my efforts, that he will be "thanking" anyone for the things that have been done to his mother and to prevent him from getting what he wanted.
I am the only one to even look out for him, and notice, about his eyes being an issue. And I only get 4 hours a week with him.
He is 3 1/2 years old and should be in preschool, and other activities, and no one makes the effort to do this for him.
I asked what he was doing today and I guess he was playing earlier, or had one book read to him, and then my cousin said he wanted to watch "The Lion King" which is great...but I have to ask how much television he's seeing. Kids his age shouldn't be watching hours of boob tube a day. It's more like 1/2 hour to an hour at the most, or an occasional movie. I get the feeling he watches a TON of t.v.
My cousin said I could not speak with my son over the phone because my aunt wasn't there and she didn't want it to happen when she wasn't around.
She's decided, all on her own, that Oliver may speak to me IF he so-happens to pick it up when I call (which has been twice only). My son always wants to talk to me. He gets excited and surprised.
But my aunt and CPS are both reasons why my telephone visitation was blocked. My aunt COMPLAINED to CPS about ME after I said, from the East Coast, that I didn't want her to yell at me in front of my son because he could hear. I said I was going to mention this to CPS, to correct her since she kept doing it, and then she went to them and they decided to gang up against me and have my son's entire right to talk to me taken away. It hasn't been reinstated since.
If my aunt and uncle are supportive of me and my rights and my son's rights, I want to see that in writing.
My aunt has been a little bit better about writing a short note to let me know how he's doing. I wanted to know about his eyes and she wrote back. I will know, in the next couple of visits, if my son still needs further diagnostics. I believe he does, regardless of his eyes still being an issue or not, because he's still having speech issues.
His speech issues and past medical history of cysts which were not followed up, and of his head injury, warrant an MRI to determine what kind of speech therapy or services he might benefit from. He's very smart, but he has difficulties still. I still remember lying in bed with him, when it first began, and he would look at me with this big eyes and I would tell him, "Honey, I know you don't understand why you can't say what you want to say anymore. I know you're trying to talk like you used to, and it's hard, but don't worry okay? Mama is trying to find a doctor who will help you." He would stare at me, his eyes wide with relief, and nod his head yes, and clutch my hand. My son was scared over why HE couldn't say what he needed and wanted to say. He knew he'd been able to, and he didn't go "mute", he was trying to say things and it came out scrambled.
But there was nothing like that contact and connection. My son "knew" just as I knew, that there was a problem, and he looked to me to help him. I am the only one, who has ever constantly looked out for his needs and correctly ascertained what the problem was.
There is no way in hell, that even a baby forgets that. He had 24/7 with me and still, to this day, wants to be with his own mother rather than the Avila's or anyone else. You cannot break that kind of a bond.
So I'm glad to hear this, however, I have to see how he acts in visits because sometimes what I'm told is different from what he says.
I am going to get statements from the Avila's in support for increasing telephone visitation with my son and for increased visitation period. If they have any problem with this, it will clear then, what I'm dealing with and how honest they are about wanting my son to have what HE wants and not what THEY want (to adopt him out from under me).
So, I'm getting what I can, in writing. There is no excuse for the delay in increased visitation.
If Oliver is transitioned smoothly, and visits are increased, there should be no problems for anyone and everything will be under control and resolved. If I should have any problems with getting my son back, there will be a fight.
And my son WILL know, and appreciate what I've done, and there is no way, after he is aware of the truth and my efforts, that he will be "thanking" anyone for the things that have been done to his mother and to prevent him from getting what he wanted.
I am the only one to even look out for him, and notice, about his eyes being an issue. And I only get 4 hours a week with him.
He is 3 1/2 years old and should be in preschool, and other activities, and no one makes the effort to do this for him.
I asked what he was doing today and I guess he was playing earlier, or had one book read to him, and then my cousin said he wanted to watch "The Lion King" which is great...but I have to ask how much television he's seeing. Kids his age shouldn't be watching hours of boob tube a day. It's more like 1/2 hour to an hour at the most, or an occasional movie. I get the feeling he watches a TON of t.v.
My cousin said I could not speak with my son over the phone because my aunt wasn't there and she didn't want it to happen when she wasn't around.
She's decided, all on her own, that Oliver may speak to me IF he so-happens to pick it up when I call (which has been twice only). My son always wants to talk to me. He gets excited and surprised.
But my aunt and CPS are both reasons why my telephone visitation was blocked. My aunt COMPLAINED to CPS about ME after I said, from the East Coast, that I didn't want her to yell at me in front of my son because he could hear. I said I was going to mention this to CPS, to correct her since she kept doing it, and then she went to them and they decided to gang up against me and have my son's entire right to talk to me taken away. It hasn't been reinstated since.
If my aunt and uncle are supportive of me and my rights and my son's rights, I want to see that in writing.
My aunt has been a little bit better about writing a short note to let me know how he's doing. I wanted to know about his eyes and she wrote back. I will know, in the next couple of visits, if my son still needs further diagnostics. I believe he does, regardless of his eyes still being an issue or not, because he's still having speech issues.
His speech issues and past medical history of cysts which were not followed up, and of his head injury, warrant an MRI to determine what kind of speech therapy or services he might benefit from. He's very smart, but he has difficulties still. I still remember lying in bed with him, when it first began, and he would look at me with this big eyes and I would tell him, "Honey, I know you don't understand why you can't say what you want to say anymore. I know you're trying to talk like you used to, and it's hard, but don't worry okay? Mama is trying to find a doctor who will help you." He would stare at me, his eyes wide with relief, and nod his head yes, and clutch my hand. My son was scared over why HE couldn't say what he needed and wanted to say. He knew he'd been able to, and he didn't go "mute", he was trying to say things and it came out scrambled.
But there was nothing like that contact and connection. My son "knew" just as I knew, that there was a problem, and he looked to me to help him. I am the only one, who has ever constantly looked out for his needs and correctly ascertained what the problem was.
There is no way in hell, that even a baby forgets that. He had 24/7 with me and still, to this day, wants to be with his own mother rather than the Avila's or anyone else. You cannot break that kind of a bond.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Copy of Declaration For Independent Psychological Evaluation
From:
To:
Subject: Declaration For Independent Psychological Evaluation
Date: Fri, 4 Dec 2009 14:42:32 -0800
My name is Cameo Garrett and I am over the age of 18 and qualified to give the following statement:
That I believe I am entitled to an independent psychological evaluation, paid for with public defense funds.
In this case, where I was alleged to be "severely mentally ill" I was also made to go without a public defender for one full year. At the state rate of $90/hr. for public defense, this county or state has made a savings of $76,400 if we are to allow at least 20 hours a week for the entire year in which I had no defense and no public funds to assist me.
If we are to say a public defense attorney wouldn't have put in more than 10 hours a week on my case, or lower the rate slightly, if we cut it in half, it is still a savings of over $38,000.
A savings which, if I am correct, has gone directly to the prosecution to support their aggressive campaign against me. I have been told by state workers that never in the history of the state has as much money been spent on a case as has been spent on MY case. However, the expenditure has all gone into the pockets of those trying to fight me and make a case against me. In the meantime, money which should have been used to give me some kind of support, went directly to the other side which has outnumbered me from the start, lied about me, and sought aggressively to prevent me from proving they are wrong at all, or lying.
With such a great savings, I should think the least the state could do is to provide me with monies for a thorough independent psychological evaluation for my defense, and in fact, anything else we should feel is necessary to clear my name, eliminate concern about "risk" and reunite the mother with the son as quickly as possible.
I should think the money used by the state has gone in the wrong direction. A security guard has been paid for, to be present at each visit, when it has been absolutely unnecessary and then the state wants to keep me from being able to prove they lie that I ever am "harassing" by blocking me from audio recording anything.
Because this case hinges on whether I am mentally ill or not, and whether I am a "risk" to my son or not, and because the evaluation that came back was done in such haste and without allowing me an opportunity to respond to materials the state submitted later, given the fact my MMPI and other tests are absolutely normal, and that I am in complete disagreement about the "suggestions", it is reasonable to request and receive an independent evaluation. It is a necessary and crucial item for my defense.
The state has deprived me of over possibly $78,000 in public defense fund assistance. I should think, it can now afford to spend some money on increased visitation and a proper allowance for my defense, before my and my son's civil rights are further damaged, and before my son and I have to suffer any longer for decisions which the state made which they should bear full responsibility and cost for. The state proposed "dismissing" this case against me in the first 3 months of having taken my son from me, and they should have followed through with this idea. Instead, they used illegal means to secure their own arguments, and deprive me of the ability to fairly respond and defend.
The proposed psychologist is a man who knows some family history who is from the Bellingham, Washington area. He is neither contracted with, nor is he typcially paid by the state for psychological evaluations so this will eliminate a general conflict of interest or bias.
Thank you,
Cameo Garrett
To:
Subject: Declaration For Independent Psychological Evaluation
Date: Fri, 4 Dec 2009 14:42:32 -0800
My name is Cameo Garrett and I am over the age of 18 and qualified to give the following statement:
That I believe I am entitled to an independent psychological evaluation, paid for with public defense funds.
In this case, where I was alleged to be "severely mentally ill" I was also made to go without a public defender for one full year. At the state rate of $90/hr. for public defense, this county or state has made a savings of $76,400 if we are to allow at least 20 hours a week for the entire year in which I had no defense and no public funds to assist me.
If we are to say a public defense attorney wouldn't have put in more than 10 hours a week on my case, or lower the rate slightly, if we cut it in half, it is still a savings of over $38,000.
A savings which, if I am correct, has gone directly to the prosecution to support their aggressive campaign against me. I have been told by state workers that never in the history of the state has as much money been spent on a case as has been spent on MY case. However, the expenditure has all gone into the pockets of those trying to fight me and make a case against me. In the meantime, money which should have been used to give me some kind of support, went directly to the other side which has outnumbered me from the start, lied about me, and sought aggressively to prevent me from proving they are wrong at all, or lying.
With such a great savings, I should think the least the state could do is to provide me with monies for a thorough independent psychological evaluation for my defense, and in fact, anything else we should feel is necessary to clear my name, eliminate concern about "risk" and reunite the mother with the son as quickly as possible.
I should think the money used by the state has gone in the wrong direction. A security guard has been paid for, to be present at each visit, when it has been absolutely unnecessary and then the state wants to keep me from being able to prove they lie that I ever am "harassing" by blocking me from audio recording anything.
Because this case hinges on whether I am mentally ill or not, and whether I am a "risk" to my son or not, and because the evaluation that came back was done in such haste and without allowing me an opportunity to respond to materials the state submitted later, given the fact my MMPI and other tests are absolutely normal, and that I am in complete disagreement about the "suggestions", it is reasonable to request and receive an independent evaluation. It is a necessary and crucial item for my defense.
The state has deprived me of over possibly $78,000 in public defense fund assistance. I should think, it can now afford to spend some money on increased visitation and a proper allowance for my defense, before my and my son's civil rights are further damaged, and before my son and I have to suffer any longer for decisions which the state made which they should bear full responsibility and cost for. The state proposed "dismissing" this case against me in the first 3 months of having taken my son from me, and they should have followed through with this idea. Instead, they used illegal means to secure their own arguments, and deprive me of the ability to fairly respond and defend.
The proposed psychologist is a man who knows some family history who is from the Bellingham, Washington area. He is neither contracted with, nor is he typcially paid by the state for psychological evaluations so this will eliminate a general conflict of interest or bias.
Thank you,
Cameo Garrett
Copy of Declaration To Allow Audio Recording
Declaration for Audio Recording
From: cam huegenot (cameocares@live.com)
Sent: Fri 12/04/09 11:28 AM
To:
My name is Cameo Garrett and I am over the age of 18 and qualified to make the following declaration:
I need the block and ban on audio recording visits to be removed.
When I began visits with my son, I was allowed to video record, take photos, and audio record. There is no law against it.
However, someone decided it would be easier to lie about the quality of my visits with my son, if I was unable to document the truth.
As soon as I was blocked from recording, especially audio recording, it was possible for state workers to lie about the quality of my visits with my son. Not only that, lying was done before the Judge, in court, where it has been claimed on two separate occasions, that the need for a security guard is because I am "abusive" to the visitation monitor, or harassing.
This is a lie. I have never once even been rude to the visitation monitor.
The quality of my visits with my son is also, and has always been, superior to what is claimed.
It is my word against theirs. They are lying, and they are the ones who are most interested in preventing visits from being audio recorded. This makes it impossible for me to prove my visits are good, and that I do not harass others, and that a security guard is unnecessary.
The state has made false claims that they "need" a guard at the door when they do not, but I am prejudiced from proving this when I am blocked from recording. The state refuses to increase my visits with my son, when my son appeals to see me more every single visit he has with me.
My defense is severely prejudiced and compromised by the block to audio recording. This case is to determine whether I am a "risk" to my son, and putting a security guard at the door is an attempt to create an appearance of something being wrong, when nothing is wrong. The state has also used this "additional expense" as a way to claim they should not increase visits.
In the meantime, my son is prejudiced from seeing his mother more, when even Anne McIntosh stated three months ago that visitation should be increased. With every "hoop" I jump through, they take more of my and my son's rights away.
Not only that, I believe it is very close to amounting to crime, to so lie about a mother and then prevent the mother from being able to document what the reality is--it amounts to "obstruction of justice".
There is absolutely zero harm to my son, or distraction, in audio recording. He doesn't know it's going on, and it doesn't impair anyone in any way. It keeps the record straight and those who ARE telling the truth would be in favor of this.
Because the STATE has made the quality of my visits and behavior an issue, and I am stating they are lying, I must be allowed to audio record and there should be zero objection from anyone who should care about the truth.
It would keep Michelle Erickson, who has lied on two separate occasions at court, from being able to lie about me and prejudice my son from seeing his mother. Michelle has claimed they "need" a guard because I am harassing and disruptive and this is absolutely false.
The visits are between me and my son. The monitor is supposed to just sit there quietly, observe, and make notes. There is no recording of the monitor if she doesn't speak and she doesn't need to talk in the visits. If she does wish to speak, she should realize there is nothing to prevent a mother from recording the visits, as was done in the past, without argument for a short time.
It is imperative to my case, and to my and my son's civil rights, that we be allowed to audio record for our own protection and protection of the accuracy of the record.
I and my son have been refused increased visitation for almost 2 years. It is more than reasonable to increase visits from 4 hours a week, however, in the last hearing, they went so far as to even sneak in an order to block make-up visits when someone (besides me) is sick and my son doesn't get to visit afterall.
Thank you,
Cameo L. Garrett
From: cam huegenot (cameocares@live.com)
Sent: Fri 12/04/09 11:28 AM
To:
My name is Cameo Garrett and I am over the age of 18 and qualified to make the following declaration:
I need the block and ban on audio recording visits to be removed.
When I began visits with my son, I was allowed to video record, take photos, and audio record. There is no law against it.
However, someone decided it would be easier to lie about the quality of my visits with my son, if I was unable to document the truth.
As soon as I was blocked from recording, especially audio recording, it was possible for state workers to lie about the quality of my visits with my son. Not only that, lying was done before the Judge, in court, where it has been claimed on two separate occasions, that the need for a security guard is because I am "abusive" to the visitation monitor, or harassing.
This is a lie. I have never once even been rude to the visitation monitor.
The quality of my visits with my son is also, and has always been, superior to what is claimed.
It is my word against theirs. They are lying, and they are the ones who are most interested in preventing visits from being audio recorded. This makes it impossible for me to prove my visits are good, and that I do not harass others, and that a security guard is unnecessary.
The state has made false claims that they "need" a guard at the door when they do not, but I am prejudiced from proving this when I am blocked from recording. The state refuses to increase my visits with my son, when my son appeals to see me more every single visit he has with me.
My defense is severely prejudiced and compromised by the block to audio recording. This case is to determine whether I am a "risk" to my son, and putting a security guard at the door is an attempt to create an appearance of something being wrong, when nothing is wrong. The state has also used this "additional expense" as a way to claim they should not increase visits.
In the meantime, my son is prejudiced from seeing his mother more, when even Anne McIntosh stated three months ago that visitation should be increased. With every "hoop" I jump through, they take more of my and my son's rights away.
Not only that, I believe it is very close to amounting to crime, to so lie about a mother and then prevent the mother from being able to document what the reality is--it amounts to "obstruction of justice".
There is absolutely zero harm to my son, or distraction, in audio recording. He doesn't know it's going on, and it doesn't impair anyone in any way. It keeps the record straight and those who ARE telling the truth would be in favor of this.
Because the STATE has made the quality of my visits and behavior an issue, and I am stating they are lying, I must be allowed to audio record and there should be zero objection from anyone who should care about the truth.
It would keep Michelle Erickson, who has lied on two separate occasions at court, from being able to lie about me and prejudice my son from seeing his mother. Michelle has claimed they "need" a guard because I am harassing and disruptive and this is absolutely false.
The visits are between me and my son. The monitor is supposed to just sit there quietly, observe, and make notes. There is no recording of the monitor if she doesn't speak and she doesn't need to talk in the visits. If she does wish to speak, she should realize there is nothing to prevent a mother from recording the visits, as was done in the past, without argument for a short time.
It is imperative to my case, and to my and my son's civil rights, that we be allowed to audio record for our own protection and protection of the accuracy of the record.
I and my son have been refused increased visitation for almost 2 years. It is more than reasonable to increase visits from 4 hours a week, however, in the last hearing, they went so far as to even sneak in an order to block make-up visits when someone (besides me) is sick and my son doesn't get to visit afterall.
Thank you,
Cameo L. Garrett
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