Monday, April 30, 2012

EOU Wants To Access My Entire Private Computer

. I am starting to feel like this college has zero respect for my right to privacy and freedom from unnecessary intrusion. I am still beingharassed to have a teleconference with a woman I have a conflict with, where they refuse to even tell me in writing what this is in regard to first. Then, I have had all these problems with EOU-specific computer platforms and they have been telling me they need a direct line to my laptop (which means, to my entire private p.c. and all my online activities, including email accounts and communications). The only part of EOU online that is a problem, is EOU specific. They have Google Apps for their student email accounts and I've never had a problem with this. The only part that's been a problem, is accessing some of their links on their own site (like the financial aid links). EOU has all online classes on a system called "blackboard" and they run it and that's where most of the problems have been. The messages I always got was "EOU is not responding" and EOU specific messages. So I asked for assistance with this because it was affecting my classes and they had their "tech" contact me and tell me EOU wants to put a direct line from their college to my private p.c. And supposedly, THEN he can "take a look". I politely told him no and said I felt it was a potential violation of privacy risk I'm not willing to take. They don't need to access my entire computer (which means everything on my private pc and all my online activities) to fix a problem that is occuring on their end.

Harassment from EOU (copy of email)

I am still being contacted by this woman after I wrote to the President and asked him to assign someone else, and to let me know in writing what code of conduct or rule I have violated, if any, before engaging in a "teleconference." He never responded and then a week went by without my being contacted, disturbed, or harassed, and then I get this from her again. So I forwarded it to the President of the college and asked the same question (which hasn't yet been answered) and made the same request. If a college is going to harass a student, they should have, in writing, the cause and the specific violation that was made and evidence for it. I see no point in frivolous teleconferences. If I am paying THEM for classes, and making academic progress, unless I have violated some rule or code, they have no right to harass me, intrude into my personal time, and attempt to cause distress by creating problems they refuse to even identify in writing before trying to satisfy their eager desires to haul me into THEIR "space" so they can unload on me, for who knows what reason. I do not know that I will continue going to this college if they continue to harass me. Period. I haven't had this problem with a college in the past, and I don't need assholes trying to create ficticious issues now. Not only have they continued to harass me, they then decided to quit responding to questions about money, my financial aid, and they are relevant and important questions. They have told me I'm being "audited" by the Dept. of Ed and have to fill out additional information, and everytime I've gone to the link to complete the "verification" request it says the page is removed. So I asked them to provide the questionaire to me by email and they ignored me. I also applied for additional loan money and gave them what they asked for, repeatedly, and they kept saying to give them more. So I did. Then they ignored the processing of that loan money. THEN! I found out today that the problem with all my online disconnections and inability to access teacher syllabus and "blackboard" links, is because of their own campus computer platform. I finally contacted Google Apps, thinking maybe it was Google Apps, which they use, and they said this is only used for email (which I haven't had a problem with). So I asked just today who runs the software or platform for "blackboard" (where they post online assignments and all information about online classes) and it's this college: EOU only. Their "tech" was telling me I'm the only person with such a problem and if I want it fixed, they want to CONNECT THEIR computers to MINE. So basically, EOU would then have full access to everything on my computer and all of my online activities. I said no, I feel that's a potential invasion of privacy and believe they should resolve their blackboard problems on their own end. Then he acts like they're trying to "help" but I won't take the help. That kind of "help" is not wanted, authorized, warranted, or a good idea ever. He literally expects, EOU (?!) expects me to let total strangers tap into my computer and have full access to it and everything I do? Are you fucking OUT of your mind. If they are putting classes online for students, it's their responsibility to ensure they don't jack things around when it comes to my isp address trying to access the system. They do not need to have a direct line to my private computer to fix their end of the problem. So I told him no, politely, and then, giving them the benefit of a doubt, wrote to Google Apps because I thought maybe it had something to do with that. Supposedly it doesn't. It's just EOU. He confirmed this today and then I said okay and right after that, this woman is trying to contact me again, and it's not over the computer issues because she tried to harass me before they created even worse "blackboard" issues. I have never heard of any college having the audacity to suggest they just direct-line themselves right into your personal p.c. That is CRAZY. cameocares@live.com To bob.davies@eou.edu Mr. Davies, I have been contacted by Cascio again and I told you, I am not comfortable discussing anything with her due to a personal conflict. I also asked you if you could please provide me with what rule I've broken or violated at your college, that creates grounds for my being contacted at all. As I stated, if I have broken a rule or violated some code of conduct, I would like to know what that is, in writing before engaging in a phone discussion with anyone. If I have NOT violated any rule or code of conduct, I consider this to be harassment as it's unnecessary. I am asking you again to please intervene and I have not heard from you since I last wrote. Please respect my strong concerns and hesitation to speak or communicate otherwise with Cascio and assign someone else to this who is able to also answer these questions. I feel that my right to talk to someone else is not being respected when I have already stated there is a personal conflict and I do not feel comfortable sharing what that is. Thank you, Cameo L. Garrett -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Mon, 30 Apr 2012 15:49:38 -0700 Subject: Re: Please contact me From: ccascio@eou.edu To: cameocares@live.com CC: ccascio@eou.edu Dear Cameo: As indicated in my email to you below, I still need to speak with you regarding some concerns that have been brought to my attention. I am available almost all of this week to discuss this matter. I also still need you to please identify some days and times that work for you this week so that we can discuss this matter. If I do not hear from you by 5:00 p.m., Tuesday, May 1, 2012 regarding this inquiry, you will leave me no choice but to proceed with this matter through the EOU Student Conduct Program. I can be reached at 541-962-3476 or via email at ccascio@eou.edu. Sincerely, Colleen

Vegan Green & Exploitation

I just had someone delete my post title and the entire start of this post. I was saying, I just bought some 'non-green' cleaners and felt it wasn't "me" but I don't pay for the packaged green. I've been prefering eucalyptus steeped in coconut oil as a cleaner (with one other thing) but I need more of the oil I've used first, to make a new batch. It felt a little "off" to get the other kinds of cleaners but it will work in the meantime. I wrote a paper recently about having some kind of balance and sometimes I think that works. I started out thinking I was going to write a paper against GMOs and how this leads to disrespect for women's reproductive rights. I'm taking a "Gender & the Environment" class and it connects gender and treatment of women with environmental issues. So in one article it talked about how women in Bangladesh were being forced to get sterilized in order to receive food aid. They were being required to present a certificate of sterility in order to get a few kilos of wheat. The article before this one, was about how lack of biodiversity in farming creates an unsustainable production and puts third world countries into poverty in the first place, and how we need biodiversity and should ban GMOs that threaten such. At first, I thought my argument was going to be how biodiversity will lead to better production and reduce threat to putting women in a vulnerable position to begin with. But I changed my mind, after the first sentence, because to ban GMOs where a problem is already there, is not going to solve human suffering in the short-term. If there is a shortfall in food supply, if it can be met by GMOs as a temporary solution, I agree with that, as long as long-term goals are in mind to promote the biodiversity in farming in the first place. I am not going to be the one to tell a woman, "Sorry, but our small biodiversity farms aren't producing enough food yet, and we're trying to repair damages done already, but it's going to take some time, so unfortunately, I have to tell you and your kids to starve." If it is not a matter of food supply, or shortage, if the short term and long term goals are being worked at, then it is a problem of distribution and power and who has the power and ability to make decisions that affect the lives of others. Regardless of how food is produced, what a shock it might be to some farmers, to know that their efforts to make money for themselves and provide quality and services for others, is being used to extort rights away from selected individuals. From personal experience, there was no problem with money available for housing for me when I was trying to navigate a corrupt kidnapping of my son and the color-of-law documentation used to try to validate a form of fraud and crime. There was plenty of money. I qualified and I signed up. But then, because of the people who were and are in power, they attempted to drive me out of all natural resources, plump up their own to appear more attractive, and then after forcing me into an outrageous position of unnecessary vulnerability, in this country, they then allowed others to use me, exploit me, torture me, and tried to extort eggs from me. Which, is outright disrespect for my reproductive rights and an attempt to exploit something that's not theirs, for themselves. So when I argue in favor of actual ways to stabilize food production and alleviate hunger and suffering, it is with numbers in mind, but this is always with the inclusion of the knowledge that suffering and enforcement of human rights is then dependent upon those who are in positions of power. Therefore, extending this to cleaners, I suppose it doesn't hurt to use something that kills germs now and then, but those who use these chemicals the most are the ones who end up with allegeries. Studies find the rate of household sanitation is commensurate with rate of allergies because you're killing off the body's natural defenses. I don't think I'm a hypocrite. I think I state my values and that I'm not a fanatic about being "vegan" or "earthy" or "green". I take issue with others who want to point fingers over very small things, however, as if to say "there is proof her ideals don't match her practices." First of all, try going through what I've been through, and then let's see how streamlined all your habits and practices are. It takes financial stability and a normal amount of respect for rights in order to accomplish anything, and sometimes, to fulfill what you're ideals may be ultimately. I had people freaking out over the idea that I wasn't really "vegan" when I said I was, or that I didn't eat fruits when I said I didn't. I didn't. And I didn't for several months, and if then I include them again, all of a sudden, I'm supposedly a liar about everything. I've been vegetarian for over 2 years (I think) and almost completely vegan (minus a few small things) for about 1 year. At one point, I couldn't be vegan bc it cost too much. Just as some people have to accept GMOs even if they don't prefer this, because of cost. Now that I have a little more to live off of, I feel I can be vegan again. The only thing in my house that's not vegan, is margarine I'm not really using, and bee pollen. I have a few cans of soups with non-vegan items in a separate part of my house, so I know not to eat it but keep it with my son in mind. I have also noticed how some are very gifted with psychic abilities or predictive abilities and they use this to get ahead and counter what they already see as possibly taking place. It doesn't mean they are blessed by God. It just means they are strategists, trying to get ahead of a game they know they would otherwise lose. That's sort of an artificial fix to something natural, isn't it? Even Herod tried that one and it's not new. This goes on all the time, and sometimes, things that are not meant to happen, do happen, and not because "it's meant to be" but because there is evil in the world, and avarice. You can go to the Bible and read about how those who have faith believe he is the rewarder of good things for those with faith, and then you can go to solomon who says I have seen that man's lot does not depend upon how good or bad he is, but that time and chance happen to both. Yes, strive for good, and believe and trust in God. but you can't tell Job or innocent people in prisons or held hostage, or tortured, that they must have done something wrong or that they are not blessed because God is angry with them. I guess I consider carefully. I was even reading a book for history about how "most historians say this, but the truth is..." and then different forms of evidence are used--one is that dates entered into a journal or diary for military tell the times and dates. I think this is good evidence most of the time, but even with that, people can alter diaries, or change dates, and even deliberately construct times that are not actual, with a motive in mind. They can force others to do this too. Just because there is a suicide letter, doesn't mean the person who is dead committed suicide. Most of the time, sure. But sometimes, documentation is fabricated for a cover for crimes. My state of mind, when I've written certain things, was without motive. Sometimes, people create documentation with motives though, which is why you always look to "motive" as why anyone would do something wrong to begin with. My son was kidnapped from me and we've been tortured. Instead of my hashing out what I think it is, or the different motives coming into play, what do you think possible motives are?

Heilige Schutzengel: crossing bridge (stolen)

I love how people tamper with an original. The painting Granny always had over my bed, and in her house, was by Heilige Schutzengel. Aside from the profile-face of Jesus painting, this was the only other art in the house, on the wall. It was a symbol from when my mother was a girl and her sisters and brothers lived there, to all of my childhood, teen years, and later. This painting was framed and it was a large copy, and an antique lith. It hung in the small room off of the patio, behind the fireplace which was in the main room. It was "the guest room" later but my mother always stayed there when visiting. My brother and I slept upstairs when we visited, or sometimes, when I was older, I slept in the room with the angel. I always stared at that painting. It's been stolen from Granny's house. First I noticed the Dutch containers were stolen, after I was in high school or later, but the angel painting was still there. Then, last time I was at the house, in the last 6 or so years, that painting has disappeared and Granny would NEVER get rid of it or give it away. Neither would Grandpa. It was there even when I first arrived from Oregon, in 2004-2005, and then since then, it's been stolen. I know because the last time I was at the house, it wasn't there anymore and I was shocked. It was never moved, it was always in the same place, and that was that. So this painting of the girl crossing the bridge with her brother--I just looked it up and some variations online have the bottom cropped off. Others have it lightened up. Still others have the boys hair unnaturally dark and the girl's hair appearing flaxen blond instead of reddish. What's even stranger is seeing how some have tried to steal from my family and torture us and then they make fun of us too, or try to mock the fact of what they've done. Like the two sticks below the bridge...I've seen that reoccur in a "theme" more than once, in mocking us. Anyway. I know what the original looks like. This is the angel painting I searched all over for, online, before Kate Middleton had her "Day". Seriously, Google and all the search engines refused to pull it up at all. I've had some pretty bizarre things happen, and noticed some crazy over-the-top attempts to hide things and rename things, just to change history. I think this is why they breathed a sigh of relief when they made it all the way to the wedding, torturing us, hiding things from us, stealing, defaming, arresting on false arrest, assaulting, raping, slashing and cutting, and throwing us into psych wards, just to keep us "at bay" and from saying anything that might throw something off. I really do not care about myself in position or relevance to the royal family. It's that we've been tortured, and it's a fact, the Middletons and their supporters have been involved. I know they are bad. There are others who know this too and I realized this in TN, even though I didn't have the best of luck while there. I realized there are some people you wouldn't expect to know anything about anything, who know. Wow. And they are still alive? I did not even want to think about things, sort of disbelief, and ignorance is bliss, mentality, until later but that's what these people wanted too. And I didn't know for sure it had something to do with them until the actual day, and then I knew. Now, I can look back at things going way back and realize something wasn't right. For example, small things. I always remembered the woman licking ketchup off of the table like a mosquito, at the restaurant, while laughing my direction, on my first date with "Christian". I was 16 years old. Then after this, he took me to get married "At The Church of Elvis" (the King). Who was licking up blood after a guy was shot down in Jordan, the same time Middletons were there? Christian then died in a car wreck, I found out, maybe my senior year or I think it was after I graduated. My first date wasn't with Robin, it was with Christian. I would have absolutely zero doubt whatsoever that it is very possible I was pushed down an entire floor when I was a baby, as an attempt to kill me. What was it, no stairs or "partially finished stairs"? as in "halfway done" or "in the middle of progress". The Middletons are criminals. Their supporters have shown me nothing but round after round of hate crime. And that rape of me, was planned. It was not random. I used to think it was and now I am pretty sure it was premeditated. So I'd like to have my clothing, jewelry, items that belonged to my mother, items belonging to Granny and Grandpa, and other things, returned. Why is everything disappearing to anyway? 1. age 1 or younger--pushed down one story to concrete ground, 2. age 11--dog sent out to run across the street as I rode my bike through the route I took every single day. She opened her door and let the dog run out in the road (maybe and accident and maybe not since she didn't have the dog on a leash and let him out just as I was speeding down a steep hill as I always did. what did she do? throw a ball across the street? 3. age 17--I am run off the road by a driver intended to put my life in danger and deliberately running me off of the road, speeding up from behind. 4. age 21--driver rolls car. I think an accident, but honestly, I don't even know anymore. I asked him to pull over to let me or my best friend drive and he refused. I didn't ask him once, but several times, and he kept driving and ignored me and it was my car too. (more on that some other time, and it's not like I have a reason to lie about that and there was another witness, my friend monica--don't tell me AG attorney Mary Mcintosh knows them). When you're younger, you forget about things like, "Hey. why didn't he pull over and stop like we asked? why didn't he slow the car down and stop speeding?" and then after several other assassination attempts and being older, you recognize this was not normal behavior for anyone. And then he rolled the car after I had taken off my seatbelt to look for something and I said I was doing this. I think I put it back on though. Still. No one who is innocent, would hijack a car and ignore the owner when they say slow down, pull over, stop, and on and on. Then, after all his refusals, I said we should pray. He didn't want to do that either and set his jaw and he's the one who died when, if anyone had died, it should have been me. And why didn't his parents want to share photos with me if there wasn't something wrong? i was always nice. never suspicious. But they acted like they had something to hide. For all I know, he was a kamikaze Canadian that got instructions from someone on what to do. by the way, this part is hilarious--it's gotten to the point, that, because I've been almost killed so many times while traveling, Jewish people see me boarding a plane and change their minds about getting on with me. I say this bc I remember my flight to TN, some part of it and this Jewish guy was about to board and then he saw me and panicked. Didn't get on the plane. I don't know how I knew, but I knew he was spooked. Then, I'm on the plane and we all think it's going down because the winds were so bad. 5. age 24--victim of probable premeditated rape. I remember all the people at the movie theater in Portland after it happened and they knew what had been done to me. Some of the people there were not from this country either. I remember. I remember the accents. A bunch of hipster-yuppie types. 6. age 24-28--other things 7. age 28-29--attempted serious bodily injury by draining my battery on my car, on more than one car, while I was driving, repeatedly, in dangerous, freeway situations. 8. age 29--direct, planned hit and run in Tigard, Oregon after draining my battery all the time failed to cause car crash. My car was totalled and I had bodily injury. 9. age 30--my brakes are almost out and my tires have zero traction and police let me drive on a snowy pass after snow had fallen and I was all over the place. they told me to go out on this ledge covered in ice and snow, alone, and held back traffic for me to plunge to my death, but that didn't happen. That was memorable. 10. age 31--full-time torture against me and my son. killing me wasn't working out, so torture would have to do. afterall, what if I tried to report attempted hits and rape and other things? better to have me sound crazy and punish me and my son as well. 11. age 32--bus with only 4-5 people on it runs into enormous boulder placed mysteriously in the middle of the road. Little did we know, the FBI was maybe trying to kill both me and the bus driver both--he was an informant for the FBI and they were screwing him out of witness protection. That's what he told me the first trip. next trip, we all almost die. Could have gotten two of us! and only lost 3 other innocent lives...but who knows, maybe the FBI knew they were activists too. 12. age 21. forgot. put this back in the line-up somewhere. i was held hostage and we were told "i have to finish 'the Job'". the "job"? like, a real live "job"?! for who? the district attorney for Portland? 13. okay, after all this, the FBI screws me over when I try to report death threats, being poisoned, and having my voice ruined from it all. so "poisoned" sounds "crazy" but being a victim of a DOJ "hit" and having my car batteries drained of power isn't crazy already? the FBI in Seattle protected criminals who wanted to kill me and they laughed in my face. So, add age 32-36, constant torture and defamation, druggings, being poisoned, assault, and forced out of everything, including my son. And I'm supposed to think, when I get all this kate crap, having no clue who she is, but finding out later her family has known about me and my parents for decades, this woman is wearing my skirt back in 2002. i guess now that my Grandpa Garrett is dead, they feel free. which is around the time my clothing is disappearing and my Granny's dutch ceramic jars disappear too. all of my mother's papers detailing her ancestry have disappeared since Sherwood, Oregon, and she had a lot of b&w photos of Granny and Grandpa that were stolen as well.

non-relevant google searches

whoever has been in charge of delivering search results for google, for my area, has been obnoxious the last hour or so. Irrelevant after irrelevant search result, mainly after I posted the last post but even a little before that. I usually search for art and paintings and get nornmal results. Not right now. Every single search is off in the twilight zone. it's a ton of catholic stuff that's coming up, and then things like "samuel morse" and all this morse code crap when I search for the "biblical samuel" and I am not kidding, every single search result has been like this. there was a ton of uk stuff too, as if I'm on google.uk or something. where every single search pulled up a result with a site from the uk and my search request had nothing to do with uk.

I still like Whistler

I still like Whistler. I was looking for a painting of fishing for my son, after I got the idea when I prayed. Not that this is how I must get my ideas! but it reminded me. I sent an email earlier saying I would send him something to see and think about, some art, and then I didn't know what. I had a book of glass already opened and prayed, "God, show me something that could apply to my son" or, I prayed, "for my son" and I ended up on a glass of a man fishing with a fishing pole, and my son likes to fish. I went to museum d'orsay and there was a man on the collections site that looks like P. Charles. Really (sort of). So I then looked at the corner to the left, opposite the man fishing, which made me think to find a painting of a boy fishing...and it's a glass that says "P.C." for a prince charles. Sort of funny. At any rate, I was going to find a watercolor by sargent and sargent reminded me of whistler and I used to have a book with his collection, or some of it. So I browsed a little. He is truly gifted and I found I still like him (after all these years). I was 21 or younger when I bought my first artbook after going to my first art gallery in Washington D.C. I guess it's the only one I've owned, which is pretty sad.

Sunday, April 29, 2012

Detractors Over Stairs??? My Fall In Walker

I just posted an ardent comment from someone who made a point to write and say I never fell down a floor when I was a baby. The person is lying and why they want to lie about this detail I don't know. Let me guess. It's another "incident" refered to by someone, which others later wanted to cover up or switch around to fit them and their fairytale versions of events? oh, I mean nightmare, not fairytale. So this person writes, who is not even part of my family at all, and claims stairs were already up and that it was my mother that fell, not me. No, maybe my mother also fell. But I fell, as a baby, and I was in a walker. That is what Granny always told me, even when I was little, and she wasn't older then, and it's what others told me too. If there were stairs, they were not done or partially done, and I had always heard that I was a baby, in the kitchen in a "walker", which I assume is one of those moveable things that wraps all the way around a kid, and I went over the stair edge and fell, and everyone was supposedly shocked I was not injured. I have asked the same question: "How was I not injured?" several time because this is what was told to me. If anything is different, it's that someone like Carol Middleton came over on break from wherever, and had one of her bouncer push me over the stairs and then hurried to get pregnant and set up financially as soon as possible. I am sorry, but why is it that I was raped by a Jew and that it was premeditated, and occured after others knew I was a virgin? Every obstacle has been to keep me from being educated, pretty, or talented, and YES, I do know for a fact that Kate Middleton is not kind or "good" and she has had, seriously, SPIES over here, trying to keep my parents in line. So I know what I have been told, and what's the big deal? I get a comment like THAT, which really goes out of its way to make a point, and start thinking, "What did I say?" "Is it not supposed to be known I fell?" "Is someone trying to cover up the possibility that it wasn't a "fall" at all, or accident, and I was pushed and then someone ran out of the house?" "Is the fact that I used the word "walker" which is the only word ever used by Granny while telling me about what happened?" So why does it matter at all, unless someone freaked out because they don't want actual history to be known or told, just their horrid "adaptation".

My Mom's Cake & Torture

Yesterday I thought it was banana bread she made and then I had some impression of a cake. But it wasn't the banana pie, though it looked like a cake from distance. And I found out today my mom made banana cake. So she had actually made cake, and with a cream frosting. I know there were no pecans on it. What my mom made looked like what I had an idea of, except what I saw was round, I thought. I was tortured last night, until I started thinking about Dempsey before I fell asleep. Dempsey, the director for military in D.C., from NJ. I know he has something to do with it. Technology was being used against me for hours last night, until I started thinking about him and who he gives orders to. Today hasn't been the best day. I missed some work because of PTSD and being traumatized by seeing my parent's tortured, with no one doing anything. That's why I wrote more online last night, because I was upset, because I see they are tortured and evidence for it and then they lie. They lie like my son has been beaten into lying. I lost my temper because then I started to cry about my son and they said something to excuse others, and it's all to cover for the same people who torture us. It's like we've been blackmailed into paying the rapist. Why are we doing favors and forced to cover for abusers? So I lost my temper after I told to leave or have water dumped on me. I said, "And water is supposed to be bad after I've been tortured?" Those priests are responsible for everything that's led up to our torture. If they hadn't incited others to hate us, and colluded with some Jewish, none of this would have been possible. They used lawyers and police they knew and money, and went from there. So I had water thrown on me from a cat dish, but I said, "You throw water on your own daughter from a dog dish?!" and then I stomped on a rose and swore. Which is not what I did when the priest assaulted me. And he was not a relative, and he has ZERO excuses. It's one thing for my Dad to do this, which I felt more allowance for getting upset over, but when a man pretending to be a "man of God", a total stranger to me, does this in public, in front of everyone, I never shouted or reacted in anger. I was shocked and I cried and then left quietly. It was 100% different. Also, the priest didn't tell me to leave. He just assaulted me. His way of telling me to leave was to assault me first. So I apologized to my parents as soon as I got back from walking to the store, because you're not supposed to let something go unresolved if you know it's wrong. If you are convicted or know something you've done was wrong, the moment you know or felt that, you're supposed to apologize if you know God is telling you to apologize, and you're not supposed to wait. If you don't do this, it's curses upon yourself. It's not a "spell" or a "trick", it's just the way it is with God. If God is the one to bring something to your attention, then you're supposed to act on it, otherwise, God doesn't bring the Holy Spirit around so often anymore, because you've hardened your heart. Having God tell you to do something is different than others telling you to do something too. Maybe my heart is hardened to something for a reason, and others may fault me for it, but if God has not convicted me and made it clear He's not happy, I don't have to answer to them. I mean, in a sense, if there is cause to, or it's not like you don't listen to others, but people can point fingers about all kinds of things and no is perfect so there will always be something to find fault with, in anyone...so, it is my opinion, that the one you "fear", as in respect, the most, is God and what he puts in your heart or mind to do. Today I cut up a pair of underwear. I loathed looking at them. I went shopping with my mother months and months ago and while I was buying something, she picked out a pr. of underwear, knowing I needed another pair. But I felt it wasn't really my mom choosing them, and I didn't know who or why someone else would attempt to choose them, but she got these nylon underwear that said "karen neuberger" on the tag. They were solid black. I have 1 black pr and then other colors, but something felt "wrong" about those underwear. I said maybe I'll just throw them away or burn them. I really wanted to burn them. My mother said, "You're going to burn perfectly good underwear?" So I didn't take them for months. Just left them in the other house with my mom. Then they were given to me and I left them in my house, ignored. And finally, I couldn't stand it anymore so I cut them up today and threw them in the compost pile. I really did want to burn them. I even took those scissors and cut through the little tag. I did it before I saw my parents that day, before they were back from church. I have no clue why, or in whose possession they were, or what they may have represented, but they bugged me. So I got rid of them, having never once even tried them on or worn them. I know it was good to do but not sure why. Sometimes I do the right thing not knowing why and other times I don't, if it comes to things like this bc it seems so "irrational" and yet if there is a hunch about something, I am sometimes right when I follow and sometimes not. I wouldn't follow hunches alone for something really important, but a pr. of underwear is not a big deal. Then I opened up my Bible and was at random on a passage about being clean. (II Sam. 22:21-51 thereabouts). Which was great until then I lost my temper and stomped on a rosebush. Anyway, I want my son back. I don't know anyone, other than my own family, that has to go through things like this. If they are out there, I don't think we've met. My mom asked which one but I have no idea. I know where it is but I don't know what it's called or anything or even what color it is.

FBI Ted Gunderson

Maybe I shouldn't just ask Mueller to respond to my habeas corpus petition, but get FBI's Ted Gunderson to reply. Apparently, he's made public statements about governmental trafficking of children. He knows about it, Mueller knows about it, the CIA knows about it, military knows...they all know. And they have no right to keep my son. Well, I thought Gunderson was still alive but he died recently. Someone has left his comments on youtube about bombs and things but not the ones where he talks about the CIA trafficking children. So since he was FBI director or head, and knew about CIA trafficking of kids, he also admits the FBI knows. He died of cancer after writing about "chemtrails" left by the U.S. govt. and their dumping habits. At any rate, if you're a regular citizen, with no experience with the CIA or it sounds unbelievable, you have to ask, if the CIA trafficks kids, what kind of trafficking? Gunderson also talks about military and how they're involved, and how they use black magic in their offices for mind control programs. But what could kids be trafficked over? or for? By the CIA? Let's see...drugs are illegal...but the CIA trafficks drugs for certain operations. Kidnapping or assaulting kids is against the law, but then where else does a military or other agency (FBI) get their mind control program victims? None of these adults I meet who do this kind of work, act like they are against it. They act like they're part of it, and enjoy it, or are brainwashed so much and for so long, it's all they know. If some tried to escape, they are punished, like my son, for telling me what was really happening to him--he was beat up. As a kid. They beat these people and torture them if they don't like them, are jealous, or they don't do what they want. So trafficking of children is only for two reasons: 1. sex trade, and 2. illegal exploitation and torture as subjects of govt. programs. There might be one other reason and that would be for extortion and to pressure other adults. Some of the kids might not even be part of programs but are used as pawns and withheld from parents so the U.S. criminals get what they want out of the kids-now-adults who they worry want to leave or could defect. What is happening to Oliver Garrett is criminal. And what is happening to me and my family is criminal.

Assassination Attempt #1: I Was A Baby?

. I know I've had several assassination attempts placed on my life. Some of the things I had thought were accidents, but no, when someone is determinedly running you off the road, or running straight into you, that's pretty much an attempt to do serious bodily harm or assassinate you. Assassinations can be made to look "natural". I think people think of assassination as only happening to Presidents, but it's the same thing as a "hit". It's like the formal term for "a hit" (I think). I am not positive about what happened, but I know when I think about it, it doesn't make sense. Also, now that I have almost died so many times, as a victim of a hit, I am not as reluctant to believe it wasn't attempted earlier. My unborn was assassinated in Maryland, in 2008. It was deliberate. Before the machine went "wrong", I was being tortured in an apartment while pregnant for at least a week. Not bad, but enough. I had my prenatal appointment at the Army offices, after I was tortured. The baby was alive and kicking and breathing like normal, despite being a victim of torture by use of technology. So that's not just assault on me but my unborn child. That means any child I've had has been assaulted in this country. My parent's firstborn son died of suspcious cause. Other things have happened. I was told when I was a baby, I "fell" down an entire floor and was not injured. I fell from the first story of the house, to the concrete basement floor. There were no stairs yet, they had not been finished or worked on. I was supposedly in one of those walkers and I walked to the edge and fell a floor onto concrete. I just accepted that story in the past, no additional thought required. Then I thought about tonight and with what I know that's been done to me, my son, my family, out of jealousy or other reasons, I don't think it makes sense anymore. I believe I fell, but I don't think it was an accident or negligence by Granny. For one thing, some jealous party heard about how smart my son was, and started torturing us to ruin and tamper with my son's intelligence. Tortured us both. So there is some real fear from a real "Herod". I don't buy the idea that it happened with Granny because she always shuts the door. She never leaves the door to the basement open, and would NEVER do that, with a baby around. It's just not possible. No one else who is a relative, that I can think of, would do this to a baby either, or be so thoughtless. For one thing, the doorway is narrow too. And if it was just this drop-off, there is no way anyone would have the door open for me to "fall down" to a concrete floor below. It is more plausible someone was in the house that hated me or the idea of me and wanted to kill me. Maybe they pushed me or maybe they tossed me down, but it is not impossible this happened and then they ran off or left and it was discovered I wasn't injured. No, I'm not "mentally ill" to think this either, or paranoid. I'm basing this idea off of realizing, knowing Granny and how particular she is, it's not possible I fell or that the door was open in her care. And when I was told about this, what happened, it was said with a kind of reserve every time it came up, like there was something that was not being shared, and I remember that.

Judge Nakata Criminal Too

I just remembered some things Judge Nakata has done. I didn't have her on my criminal list, but now I remember some things, and she has to be added. So that pretty much means the only Judges in the last several years, that I've had, who did not commit any actual crimes, that I can think of, even if they did things I didn't like, are Judge Suko (federal Eastern court in WA and didn't have him long enough to know), Judge Quackenbush (did unethical things but nothing criminal outwardly, that I know of yet), and the Portland federal bankruptcy Judge did nothing to me or my case personally, and that's about it. The rest have had motive to torture women and children--me and my son--and to collude with others to obstruct justice. The "unethical" things Quackenbush did, was to suggest I was frivolous when he knew I wasn't, and to close my case, KNOWING that I had medical documentation going to his courthouse, to back up my claim, and knowing that by closing the case he deprived me of a more timely way to challenge termination of parental rights. Nakata committed crimes. They were slightly different from what the other Judges did but along the same pattern. Judge Harmon never actually committed crimes, in court, over me, to my face, but I had her recused to prevent it and then she tried to sneak back in, after she already knew she was recused by me in the past (as if a year of time fixed the reason for recusal). So Harmon snuck back in and then ruled against me. Nakata didn't allow me continuance, which is unethical but not crime. What was criminal was that she threatened and intimidated a witness. And I'm sorry, but if she would do that in full court hearing, as a favor to police, jail guards, and Michelle (CPS/Tony Block--One of Wenatchee's biggest Italian Mafia assholes), then she would do much worse in private I'm sure. She broke the law in full hearing of everyone. So if she's bold enough to do this, it is very clear she thinks that's "nothing" and she is able to do worse privately. She threatened me, in the courtroom, telling me if I dared talk to anyone about any of the people abusing me, or lying about me, she would make sure I went to jail. She said if I dared publish anything in my blog, to the public, about any of the police, the jail guards and how they'd sexually harassed me and forced me to appear without a bra, and if I said one thing about Michelle Erickson (who defamed me and gave false testimony against me, in a court of law, which is perjury), she would put me in jail. So she banned me from testifying against crime and obstruction of justice by a key CPS/Washington state worker. The woman committed perjury. It's a crime. I should not recieve "threats" from Red Judges like Nakata against giving testimony or providing public information about such criminal activity. What if Michelle had raped me? Let's say she did. And then Nakata threatens me in court and says if I tell anyone or blog about it in my personal blog, she will send me to jail. Let's say Michelle Erickson colluded with mobster Tony Block, and others in the State offices, and let's say it amounts to criminal conspiracy. Judge Nakata threatens me with jail-time if I talk about it, or write about it. Judge Alicia Nakata is criminal and I wouldn't put it past her to snort cocaine either. Maybe that's why the only time she was nice to me was when I was with Alvaro Pardo, the man from Colombia, and she thought she could get a fix. Fuck you Nakata and fuck your corrupt judicial "privilege". You committed crime and then tried to use your position and authority to threaten and silence me from reporting crime and speakin up about it. You said, I remember clearly, that I could talk about YOU but not about anyone else. FUCK YOU. Who do you think you are? Tony Block's second hand woman? You protect his mafia? So you think it's okay to report crimes about you because you believe you have judicial immunity to everything, because your friend Laura Laughlin has your back. But you have no problem, whatsoever, violating the law out in the open, to benefit all those in your courthouse, and to protect criminals. That makes YOU a criminal. And by the way, like THAT was a real show of objectivity. Boy are we all sure you are not bias, twisted in the head, and looking for trouble. What is really sad is that if this Judge Nakata is linked to FBI in the slightest way, it's not looking so good. I mean, Wes, the regional FBI guy, was dismissive about both Judge Warren (criminal) and I said I didn't know about Nakata but I wasn't sure. He said he had full faith in Nakata. It's impossible to have faith in a Judge that publicly threatens a key witness from reporting criminal activity. I think I got a "straight up" out of that somewhere. Maybe it right after I wondered if she's the coke snorting Judge, or one of them. She was SURE NICE when I had Colombo with me. Nakata did not just tell me not to talk about crimes committed by Erickson. She threatned me against saying or writing anything about anyone in the entire courtroom, and she specified, the jail guards (who had just sexually harassed me and how would she know to single them out unless she was part of the harassment?)

My Kidnapped Parent's: Banana & BBC & Torture

Well first of all I had a lot of problems looking up bbc tonight. I haven't looked it up for a very long time. I would say maybe 3-4 times total in several months? I rarely check. But I had some idea that I should go to the food section of the bbc tonight because there was a cake. I thought it was a cake but I guess maybe it was a pie. Who knows. I just saw some general cake shape and the general colors...and knew it wasn't a dark cake. So I tried to look and I was shifted all over the place. It was the only tab I selected: "more" and then I was directly going to the cake. But instead, I was rerouted all over the entire site practically and it wouldn't pull up the page forever. It wanted me to see more for other sites, but not that one. So I finally got there and saw the tarts. It wasn't the tarts. They looked good, but no, not tarts. It was a cream colored or with hints of apricot or tan or something, some kind of cake. So the closest thing I saw on the editor picks page was a banoffee pie. Which is the closest thing I guess. My mom made banana bread today. Bananas, bananas, bananas, how many nanas you want? I saw there were directions for icing cupcakes below too, but they were too small. It wasn't cupcakes. It was a light colored round cake, or, very possible, this pie. So my mom really did make banana bread today. Or banana something. I forgot to ask what it was, it just smelled like banana bread. I finally got to see it and it does look really good. The top doesn't look very cake-like though so maybe I was really seeing some kind of cake that's not featured on the first page? At any rate, my mom probably knew I would end up finding this bc why else make some kind of banana thing. ********** The day before yesterday I had my nose in a book for several hours before taking a test, and she knocked on my door bc I hadn't left the house. I opened the door with two papers in my hand, and my book in my room, and she had two books to give me and had two papers in her hands, facing opposite the hand I held out. We were both standing there, face to face, with 2 pages each. Then, well, lots of other things, but my mom and dad, seriously, are being tortured. I am not kidding. It's getting very bad. For me, I don't know why, but the last several days, much better than usual to the point I could sleep. I didn't remember what sleep was like almost. I have actually slept and was so sleep deprived, I ended up spending almost the last 3 days in bed, and still sleeping at night. Not depressed--seriously sleep deprived bc of torture all night. I don't think it's been the same for my parents. I mean, someone needs to see the insides of their eyes. it is not normal at all. For both my mom and dad, it's so deeply impressed, and so dark, it's really really shocking. I have been talking about starting a non-profit and other positive things, and then all of a sudden, on Friday, no employees from my college wanted to get back to me, or answered the phones, and this is separate, but then I see my parents, and someone we paid money to, for a book still hasn't mailed my book and it's halfway through the term--through Amazon.com (you're getting a LOUSY rating), and then I think they almost feel there is no hope here. Which is unusual. Last night, I couldn't even listen to christian radio, which is what I did, without some "caller" calling up to make some long-winded comment about how happy she was and how lucky SHE was, to be a mom who could have her kids climb into bed and cozy up to her. On and on and on about how her kids could climb into bed with her...I mean ad naseum, and then at the same time, some freak is trying to send me photos of MY son, to upset me I guess (I am not looking at any photos from anonymous parties), claiming they are of him in bed with my aunt and uncle. I thought, someone who isn't even a christian, most likely, called up the "christian" station, to say all this? I have listened to christian radio off and on my entire life and no one does weird things like that. How someone would know I was listening to christian radio is not possible unless someone already knows bc of illicit surveillance that's been over my family for years. This old man came into the library one day, here locally, and said something about being under surviellance for 40 years, illegally, and I thought, "That sounds like my family." They kidnap members of my family is what this country does. The U.S. kidnapped my Dad when he was less than 3 years old, away from his own mother. My Grandpa Garrett had the kids on the East Coast, and when they killed off his brother (probably to get a reaction out of him), he left to investigate and they were going to put him in PRISON for leaving the military. The only reason they did not put him in prison was because his mother, "Nana", begged them not to. The U.S. didn't let it go at that. They forced him and my nana to give up their kids to stay out of prison, threatening probably even worse with the kids if they didn't. My Nana and my Grandpa had no choice. They didn't want my Grandma Dolores to have the kids because she wouldn't have allowed the things the U.S. did to them. So RIGHT after my Nana "talked" to the U.S., they demanded and EXTORTED my Dad when he was less than 3 yrs old, my Uncle Howard who was 9 or so, and my Aunt Charlotte, who was about 6. They kidnapped the kids, my Grandpa didn't. And guess how the kids got to "talk" to their biological mom? The same shitty way they've attempted to force with me and my son. Through a third party. My Dad never heard about his mother except through his grandma and his biological mother never heard about him except through his grandma. Same with me. They tortured us and then kidnapped my son from me. Then they forced a traumatic separation, and then after that, how do I hear about my son? through his "nana", his grandma. How does he hear about me, if ever? through the same person. This country is seriously qualifying to be damned to hell. They have been extorting our own children from our families, and torturing anyone who tries to defend our rights. They have committed generational CRIMES of extortion, blackmail, and conspiracy against members of my family, and then tried to play out the Stockholm Syndrome to the brainwashed kids, and force them to work for them, without free consent. What this country did to my Dad and his biological mother, they have repeated, almost EXACTLY, with my son and I. They are STEALING and kidnapping kids, under color of law, and then using shitty Judges to side with them. THIS COUNTRY has done this. Not to one generation, not to two generations, but THREE. I take that back, if I count myself as one of those generations, that makes at least four generations. They're torturing and using my son, just as they tortured him with me, in the past, and as they kidnapped and tortured my Dad and his siblings. Howard was probably killed off simply because he's the kid that might "remember" too much. He would have made a fine witness. So after this country kidnapped all of the kids from their mother, to USE them, guess how old my Dad was before they ever allowed my Dad to even go visit and meet his biological mom? He was 13 years old. They held my Dad hostage, and I'm not saying Rosella wasn't a good mom and I know my Dad loves her and calls her mom too, but that's the gimmick of this country. They don't care if a kid has "two mothers" do they? NO, BECAUSE THEY ARE THE CRIMINALS. My Dad was never even allowed to really communicate with his biological mom, until he was 13 years old. They cut him off, and alienated family members deliberately. And then they fucking think they can keep repeating their criminal cycle. They used me too, and the only reason they didn't have me sent away was they had already nailed my mom and dad down. My parents were both brainwashed so they were more "manageable" and most likely set one of them up and then the U.S. tried to use it against them, even if it was only one of them, saying if you don't do this, your kids will...blahblah. They have been targets for total mobsters as a result. Police and FBI, some of them, have been mobsters and so have others. (I now had someone start to shut down my laptop and then turn it on full glare and I didn't do anything). The Catholic church owns most of the intelligence and military and justice system. So when I sued, they made sure my life has been a living hell ever since and colluded with Jews to have me raped even before that. It was premeditated, it wasn't some random thing. Then, after using me and not being able to marry me off to someone they wanted me to marry, and never having anything to blackmail me with, they couldn't use me. So they just tried to kill me. I wasn't going to be working for them and they wanted someone who WAS willing and corruptible, to work for them in my place. They forced my brother to work for them. He wouldn't never say this is true, but I have good reason to believe so. And then they stole my son from me after first trying to force me to "give him up" for adoption. I refused and then they went after him. What have they done since? they have done to my son and I, the exact same thing they did to my Dad and his biological mother. They made every effort to break and severe bonds, cut family off from any communication, and use us. I have been tortured and my parents tortured to prevent our access to courts and proving this is true and proving my own innocence. I have witnessed my parents being tortured and forced to refuse to print anything out for me re. my son's case, even when this FUCKING country blocked me from having ANY money at all and REPEATEDLY allowed people to sexually assault me and then put ME in jail on false arrest. They have stolen ALL of my journals, and photos and clothing, and everything I owned and saved and "they" are not "private citizens". They work for the government. The latest things they've done, to try to keep me from having anything to live off of again, is to select me to "verify" FAFSA documents and it's through the same Dept. of Ed that lied and stalled on things for months and months, almost for a year, as a favor to criminals in the DOJ. It's like being "audited" and I know it's not random. They're just looking for another excuse to try to force me out of college, housing, or money again. So it's not supposed to be a big deal but then I asked what happens? and I was told it gets sent back to the Dept. of Ed if there is any "discrepency". Discrepency. As if they don't know how to create ficticious discrepencies. I think it has more to do with their wanting me to correct my FAFSA so many times, the original date I submitted it gets lost. They put me me in the TN psych ward to keep me out of college, after I filed my FAFSA. Not for any other reason. They didn't want me to be productive and they saw I'd filed, and they reacted. My parents said something about how I should do such and such or, I think someone literally SAID this to my life, "...your life could be in grave danger." She didn't even say it that way, she used a phrase that she would never use which sounded like something she was repeating. Something about my life ENDING in tragedy. My response was this: "My life was already over 15 years ago." They said nothing. My Dad's eyes just sort of popped open and that was it. They know it's true. What has this country done to me, that has IN ANY WAY, supported my fundamental rights? To them, I was dead then, and nothing more than a punching bag, someone to screw over, and a body to torture. And it is then NO surprise they allow criminal Judges to do the things they've done, because it is supporting the lies my family has been fed for decades. What do they think they're doing? just extorting cars and kids from students and moms, just because their "Sullivan"s say so? Maybe it's hard to believe, but these people, and yes, there are a lot of them, they've LIED. They lied about torture. Lied about me as a mother. Lied and kept me from defending myself or being defended in court. They tortured my son in front of me and had me witness evidence of such and then used law enforcement that would prove to me they weren't going to help. Why? Because this country thinks they OWN us and thinks that whoever is in charge, even if it's a sadist, gets to break all laws, just to keep our family in their control. They've sold us, trafficked us, forced us into slave labor for them, and tortured us and kidnapped our kids. Then at the last minute, after they feel they "finished" her off (me) enough, and think they can sink their teeth into my son, that's what they do. They have put all of their vindictive resources into feeling secure that their fucking "INVESTMENT" in my son, is paying off FOR THEM. I've been wondering when exactly, my son was supposed to be able to visit me or communicate with me of his own free will. Oh, what? like age 13 or something? or never. I have had many people tell me not even until he is 18 years old. These assholes have sold him. What they are already planning is how to come up with covers for themselves, and how to brainwash my son and blackmail HIM into silence. I saw them practicing this in Wenatchee when I was still visiting with him. First he was telling me, and then after getting cut up, and beaten so many times, he stopped telling me. He started lying. THIS IS THE SAME FUCKOING SHIT they've done to my DAD and MOM. Why do they LIE and say "we're not tortured?" The same reason my son started to lie--to survive because the U.S. is a criminal enterprise and its entire government has been taken over by such. It's not a country. It is a criminal enterprise and treats its own citizens like soldiers who need to pay "dues" (taxes, whatever) just to avoid being thrown into the torture pool. My son went almost comatose, and came to visits in a daze, lying and repeating lies others told him to say, to cover for criminal state workers like Anne Crane. If he lied well enough, he wasn't beat up. God damn you. God damn all of you who have beat, abused, assaulted, and tortured any of my family members in any way, and especially, God damn those who also hold jobs with the U.S. and take money from taxpayers to subsidize your criminals activities. I can think of a lot of excellent things I could have done in this country, in the last 15 years that I've been tortured and assaulted and defamed instead. I still know what things I can do and yet...should I actually delude myself to think anything good can be done here? How about, the PROOF, if you want to show me something is changing, is that you start by releasing HOSTAGES, and namely MY SON. YOU FUCKING RELEASE MY SON. How DARE you try to use me and use any of us, and then play it off like no big deal, oh too bad that's happened and then act like I'm going to do something in this country. As if I will start a non-profit and you can pat yourselves on the back and say it wouldn't have happened if my son was with me. When actually, you screwed me out of starting a non-profit back in 2003. and then out of getting a daycare license in 2006. If you do not return my son I have NOTHING for this country. I have nothing to give you. You steal, at the highest levels of government, you abuse my family on a generational level, and then you expect people to respect you. I could start a business in some other country, and get ahead faster as an immigrant there, than I would in 5 years here, based on the past pattern of CRIMINAL RACKETEERING. You've held me back from anything normal, good, and decent, and from using my gifts. In fact, you rewarded and protected criminals that tortured me so badly my singing voice is ruined. I expect NOTHING good for my son here in this country. You have already tortured him. Unless the FBI person in charge gets fired or the SSAs responsible for allowing it are fired, how is there any change in the face of the abuser? You tortured my son, and then you want to pretend like you're the good guy. I am sure there are good people, but most of them are not controlling things or this never would have happened. It's like listening to an empty promise, "I'll change, I'll change..." How do kidnappers "change" when they refuse to release a child kidnapped under color of law? That's like a Colombian kidnapper telling the U.S., "There's no problem. We don't want to harm your family and we've changed!" while holding your family members tied with ropes to a chair. How does the U.S. even DARE to keep my son, or the FBI refuse to investigate felonies committed by Judges that are violations of federal code for which they should be in jail? These judges collude to commit crimes together, and get covered, and then my son suffers and no one is stepping in to return my son. It's like someone just wants me to forget about it, or thinks I will, or "forgive" or "no big deal", it's the past, and so on, and move on. First of all, you never got your fucking "nervous breakdown". That never happened. So I really don't know what else you're waiting for assholes. The defamation about my being mentally ill isn't going to stick too well when I'm in college, which you know, which is probably why you decided to throw in this "verification" thing, over 7 months after I filed the FAFSA, as an excuse for an avenue to try to block me from financial aid monies again. I'm not able to fight for my son in court or sufficiently in legal matters because I have been brutally tortured for years, all the way up to the last hour. And then, as some kind of joke, they let me do something, when they already know it's too late to get anything into evidence for appeal or write good appeals when I have no time and hardly enough money. I put a penny on a book the other day, when I left the house, knowing someone would be parading through. It was a "1973" penny, which is the year my parent's first baby was born and then killed. We're SO safe here. They torture my entire family here! and have trained my parents to lie for criminals, the same way I watched CPS and the state of Washington train my son to lie to cover up for them. They've let international people torture us, whatever. And so far, with all the promises that have been made, I haven't seen my son yet. I knew exactly what I was doing when I filed my two lawsuits. The research and everything on them is sound. I should have, and would have, won both of them, had I not been obstructed from justice. Now, I am not prepared, I have had no chance to be prepared, and nothing I've done is to the standards I have for my legal work. I know I've stated facts sufficient for habeas corpus and know some things off-hand and I DO know that it's possible to sue to get your kid back through RICO, except for the fact that I think a child is considered to be personal property (moveable) and not real property (immoveable). Caveat--inheritance rights are real not personal. However, why in the world, would anyone even try to make me do this? when the FBI is capable of doing it all, from start to finish? Here's another thing, and this just proves my point. I meet some Mormon missionaries and they seem nice enough. However, once again, more mind control-govt. psychic stuff experimentation. One of them is new from Virginia. I wrote about our meeting and it was okay, but here is how I know they are more of the same who "appear" to be the type to support abduction of a child for the "sake of the U.S. and mobsters": They used the missionary thing, to exercise their predictive skills on me. So after talking to me for awhile and sizing me up, one of them decides to show me photos of people from the Book of Mormon. All photos. Then, after this, the other guy read one short verse (text only) from the same book. Then they said to call them if I ever wanted to and the phone number was on the card and they watched me as I looked and saw faces on the pictures side of the card and then turned it over and read text on the text side. Then I looked up and saw they were amused by it. My laptop, that has all my torture photos on it, was "held" by the computer people in this town who are into the same things. I just got it back a few days ago, after having it held onto and not worked on, for over THREE MONTHS. SINCE I FILED MY UN CLAIM. It's like this entire town is CIA-military-BlACK OPS with the FBI and police covering for them. And by the way, they let criminals beat people up here too, if they don't do what is asked. If you people want to sacrifice parts of yourself or your lives, or whatever, for this, that's your choice. And if you choose not to be tortured, by complying, that is also your choice (unless you join with others who wish to revolt). However, it is NOT your place or choice to torture me and my son and STEAL him from me, just so he can be like YOU. He is not your property, he is not part of your "soldier" squad, and just because I am his mother and he is male gender, doesn't mean he needs YOU to teach him how to "be a man". I have even watched cowardly worms of women trying to influence my son, like Anne Crane and Michelle Erickson (whose example is to give false testimony in a court of law and then attempt to use a Judge to threaten me...Oh yeah, so that means I have to add Nakata to the criminal list). My son does not need your "examples" or to take any kind of instruction from cowards who torture kids to get their own way. For all I know, it was someone in Granny's house that tried the first assassination attempt on me when I was a baby. I wouldn't think that before, but now that I see the U.S. kidnaps kids, why not kill them whenever they want too? someone with access to military killed my unborn in 2008. I was told by someone that when I was a baby, I "fell" an entire floor of stairs and wasn't injured (supposedly). I was a baby and the basement stairs were not put up yet. I "fell" from the first floor to the concrete basement floor. I believe it's true that I "fell", but I don't believe Granny was negligent and I don't believe any relative would do that. No one would leave a door open like that, knowing a baby could go over there and fall and be killed. I am more inclined to believe it was someone who has always been jealous of me and my family. Maybe it was our "Herod". http://projectavalon.net/forum/showthread.php?t=18454

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Collage on Humane Treatment (photos..hi Reedies)

The collage I made today I can't send until Monday, but I had the idea earlier, to have something that is a short story, showing how different chickens, chicks, roosters are treated for producing eggs, and what does he think the most humane treatment is? So I added different scenarios and then a few other ideas I thought I could work with, and used materials from the same magazines I've had, a couple of recycled garbage items, and the table/student scene from a Reed college catalog (I think I should get honorary credit from Reed. ;)). Again, it's not good art, just something for formulating ideas. I took a lot of photos bc it's larger and some of the cut outs are smaller. The books in front of the students were randomly placed, I just cut out books that had a photo or title about animals and pasted it on and then added a chicken or rooster walking across their table. Also, I left "they'll flip their easter bonnets" but put a paper over easter for one of the photos bc I might cover that part up. The girl with the basket on the bike is rescuing a rooster from jail. The idea is to explore pasture, conventional, organic, and cage-free chicken raising, and what is the best treatment for these animals. Then I included some things for amusement.
These photos posted out of order and are atrocious in quality--you can't see anything so I'll describe a few things. The "m" in the black object is a bunch of tiny kid's faces, and then letters m, a, y, and s which I think of for maze. there is chicken farmer's head down and then a rooster to the side and an egg to the side. the words beneath which you can't see are a good egg--thing. design to fit everywhere.
there are 8 pages altogether, backing the collage.
it starts sort of with the egg farmer and then explores ideas in a counter-clockwise fashion.
this is a "toy" underground railroad idea, and then up above it are chickens lined up in halls of chicken prison ("conventionally raised chicken"). Above this is a candy cottage in the snow near the wood and then a gate with a garden and you can't see them, but pasture-raised chicken.
I have this above photo and the one beneath it separate on the paper but it's sort of a juxposition. I cut out a little crown that says "extra fancy" on it, and pasted it above a conventional rooster in prison, and his "crown" is dropping over his eyes. Sort of the way this man's head is drooping down, who is in the middle of a big chicken farm holding a basket. I thought, "Where, in this whole collage, do I want the crown?" and I had it suspended above the imprisoned rooster. it says next to this, "chicken crowd control is a key health concern when bird freely roam a henhouse floor...ect...caged chickens don't get to engage in natural bird behaviors." the crown suspended has 5 points upright and the one onn the rooster drooping down over his eyes, is 5 or 6 points downwards. Then beneath that it has "1981 cat lover's calendar" and "CAT: multiple strength for multiples".
this section includes the word "penny", "cats of '81", "catalog of penny pinching ideas", and a design with little stars at each point in the black line design, with a lion there.
these are small objects I cut out. a painting of a sailboat at sea, the lines, a circle cut from the sunlight out of a window, a circle mirror, a panda, a bird carrying a letter, an eagle with a flag, a lamp over the statue of a rooster (to keep it warm) a teddy bear, and a reading lamp.
this is windows above and then added an egg conveyor belt which makes it look like eggs are tunneling and coming through an Ivy hedge, and then different chicken conditions, and a pasture raised chick in the palm of a hand, and the egg conveyor leads to cats who I thought my son would be amused by, staring grimly at a bunch of chicken eggs in their litter box. "they'll flip their bonnets" (below). and santa devilishly grinning like he put them there, and a cat with paws raised up, and I also thought about a CAT committee feeling less than pleased to see so many ...well I don't know...and then the del monte logan I just randomly put on the professor's head like it was an indian turban or something.
the longer center cut-out is next to the prison crown rooster, and it is facing the opposite way, a bunny doll holding a rod or stick and looking at a wall full of framed photos.
this is a gum ad and I added words from an article to make: "now, you to the rescue spearmint" and then beneath this is professor with class and next to him a groundhog or beaver and a tree and you can see in other photos, there is a door to the inside of the tree trunk.
here are students and there were no books on the table but I found an old ad with books and cut out ones with animal titles or reference and randomly placed them. the guy in the pink with glasses has "hunting badger" by tony hillerman; the guy across from him with the rooster nearby and "original mother on his back" has "mrs. pargeter's point of honour" by simon brett; the woman next to him has "sick puppy" by carl hiassen, and the blond guy across from her has "the cat who robbed a bank" by lilian jackson braun; the woman in green has "the unexpected guest" by agatha christie" (bc I put a rooster on the table); the woman next to her in purple has "a ruff way to go" by leslie o'kane; and the blond has "lady vanishes" by ccarol lee benjamin (with a dog's face on the cover). (I have no idea what any of the books are about)
oh, and I put a bunny cake that has a little chocolate or candy egg on the table too.
and here below is a hero animal activist, who just rescued a rooster, who is riding inbetween two dogs. it was just her and the dogs in basket, but I added the rooster for an idea. also, right above her it shows a rooster sticking its head through bars to try to eat and then next I have it riding on top of the bars of a basket.
there is a bathtub with a mat and it says "on the market" and "floors o'fun". From above this, top corner, moving down, it's a rooster in conventional jail, then a man going downstairs and almost sort of like jail too, and then a tub with floors o' fun and then a rooster trying to eat with its neck through bars, and eggs below and then at the bottom, rooster on top of the basket. The photos are all out of order and not good at all, but that's it.

Doral & Bear Collage for son (last week photos)

After the collage I made for my son with the woods and water scene, which ended up reminding me of someone else too, in a really strange twist (I even found out...well anyway, it makes me laugh when I think of it, the "precious moments") So I made another after that, with a Doral cigarette ad bc it was to show an expression of width of love, as I used to do with my son. I was going to change or write over the "Doral" part but I ended up leaving it, thinking of "Dory" the fish from Finding Nemo. It's not artistic at all, but just something to put together for a small story. Anyway, I've tried several time to upload them and there are computer problems. I haven't checked, but I'm guessing the sentences are still running together as well.
The staircase I featured because my son played a game with Dad on such, pretending there was the "invisible man", so they were creaking up the stairs and every time they made a sound, my Dad said it was the invisible man and my son laughed and laughed. So it's that, and a setee with black and white pillows (I later found out after my blood polka-dot collage about the big cut, he went to his room and drew big black circles and lines all over his face), and then you can't see all the bears, but several bears. What looks like a little cap on the woman's head, isn't a cap. It's a small cut-out photo of a grizzly, to make for "this little bear" in words. Then there are words about love, and only child, and a rockingchair with an afghan with knitted flowers on it by the window.
The saying is "this little tar and this much taste" or something and I changed it to this little bear and this much love, but I kept Doral, thinking of Dory from Finding Nemo. Then the II I covered up to make I with a flower. And I put "Oh Honey!" next to it, thinking of his drawing on his face. A little sample of a heart bc he's learning the alphabet.
There is a clock on a wall, next to words I wrote which you can't see, that say I think of you all the time. And bubbles and I switched out the Doral cigarette for a fake cigarette with the word "blessings" on it instead.
I made this the same day I took the photos of myself in green, showing the paper "T", but had put on my black and red sweater bc it was cold. It was the same day though.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

(bad vibe Sun & Mon) Geza Anda and Mozart's 6th piano concerto

I looked up different pieces of scripture and music tonight but this one stood out to me, Mozart - Piano Concerto No. 6 in B flat major, K. 238: 1st mvt Link:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvO5Z2bRhhY The pianist, in particular, "...Is exquisite" I thought. I chose the 6th since my son is almost 6. Who is smiling now? This one, I don't know what kind of dance you would dance? for this piece, but it has such a good rhythm (tempo?). I looked up the pianist after only a few seconds, thinking, "this is a very good pianist" My favorite part is at 6:10, I think it is, the answer and response. To me, it sounded like a balcony scene. Or the echo through a large canyon coming back to the sender. It starts at 6 and then the response to the caller is at 6:4. It is Cinderella? It's that part of the song in the Disney movie, where she sings out this very high call, and then hears it come back to her...which Disney movie is that? It must be Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, or Cinderella but I am not sure which yet. She sings out, aha-aha-ah....and puts a hand to her ear I think and hears it return to her. I found an online virtual keyboard...sort of A B A B A (maybe in 3/3 time with AB as one count, next AB as second and last A as whole note). I am not good with music theory. I found it. It's Snow White at The Wishing Well and then the balcony scene is at One Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ITXH87LNtO4 I am not sure, but tried to match the key on the virtual piano and it's closer to B flat but sounds out of tune. So I have no idea. But that's what I had come to mind while listening to Mozart's 6th by Geza Anda. It's true! so if I heard the echo, does my wish then come true? I want my son returned. I shouldn't even have to make a wish for that. It looks like it's set in 4/4 time. Anyway. I had a very bad/sad vibe a few days ago and thought it had something to do with my son and how he was being treated. It wasn't today, and it wasn't yesterday. Yesterday I woke up and was pleasantly suprised there was a slightly better vibe to wake up to. But it was Monday or Sunday. I had a horrible feeling and it was very depressing. I think it was both Sunday and Monday. It was from late afternoon Sunday and early evening, to all day Monday. The entire Monday was horrible. So I wondered if it was my parents or my brother or my son and I think it was my son. I couldn't even feel the Holy Spirit almost...it was just sad, weighty, and depressing. I thought maybe someone is trying to use my son for govt. (or other) research. I didn't go to church, but that was okay...I stayed home and prayed a little and did other things. And for the first hour or several hours after 12 noon, it was fine so I knew I didn't feel anything was wrong with what I had chosen to do. But then it was later that afternoon and all day Monday, oppression. I firmly believe it was my son, that he was unhappy and/or people were trying to force him to do things they had no right to do. Notice. My fridge and freezer had also gone out, just quit working so I hadn't been able to buy things I had planned to purchase that day, on Sunday, but that didn't matter and the next day it was working. It was mainly that I knew something was very wrong and someone was doing evil on this day. Then, on Monday, I woke up with the bad feeling and it was all day and then went to bed with the same. On Tuesday, it was much better and only for a couple of hours total. Sort of shifted once or twice. But in general, Tuesday was much better. I woke up to feeling people were praying and I felt prayers. I wonder who was visiting the Avila's late afternoon Sunday and Monday, or if my son was playing alone or what. Was he in school Monday? or at home? It was Sunday to Monday. Anyway, going on to other things. Feel like listening to Whitney Houston vintage gospel and found this. I like her gospel stuff. I think she really felt and believed some of it.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Z_EsWkcs5w

Patty Otterbach Is NOT A Friend--Criminal

I have been told to take down what I wrote about Otterbach or I have to leave. So I'm leaving. I stand by what I said and wrote about her. She is using my parents. Not only that, if she can't come forward to support my parents by confessing to what happened to my mother while my mother went with her to Roseburg, she is a criminal. She knows my parents are tortured and that I've been tortured and is sure not putting up her own blog or going to authorities or the public as a witness, to testify to the truth. I WANT MY SON BACK. I'm not going to get him back by being a fake. Not only that, it's not my parents that want me to leave. I'm being pushed out by the FBI again. At least some people who are in the FBI. Someone instructed my parents to accuse me of all kinds of things this morning, which they don't think or even know. It was one thing after another and I said, "Whoever is telling you these things is NASTY." They were basically repeating some ideas some have tried to slander me with, about my being "proud" or self-righteous and being "bad" at the same time. I said, "As if they know my heart. They think because they read minds they can then use this to slander me and make false claims? they don't know my heart." Finally I said, "If I've done anything wrong it is GOD who will convict me, not anyone else. And if God wants to convict me of something He will. And if God wants to "harden my heart" He will." I know that God knows all things and no one has a right to make something out of me that is wrong. I know they're nasty, whoever they are. So who wants to listen to nasty people. I'm almost 40 years old and have had my life WASTED because of people allowing criminals to act against me, and you have got to be kidding me if I am going to fake and pretend it didn't happen and isn't happening. They have tortured me and my son and I don't care to "fake" that this isn't happening. I want my son returned to me and it's really not up to this "country" to take him at all. They should be returning him and they know it.