Sunday, July 31, 2011

Correction to truth about stolen medical records

I wrote my medical records were disappearing in 1998 or 1999 but I was wrong. They started disappearing in 2002. Which was when I was in the middle of litigation and when I lived on Hemlock St. in Portland, Oregon.

I had the CT (for migraine, on my head) done in something like 1998 or 1999, and in 2001 I had a really odd medical finding once which turned out to be totally incorrect. I had been told I had cancer precursers and they were going to go in and do a major biopsy and then it turned out that the entire thing was false. The weird thing, was that I somehow intuivitely thought it was false and I refused to have it done and then discovered and had it confirmed over and over, it was false. It was really good that I got second and third opinions because otherwise I would be missing part of my body. Seriously. It was an invasive kind of biopsy that this woman wanted to do and something, to me, wasn't adding up. There was never any real precancer either, just an idea that something could turn to that. It was of "disputed significance". So instead of having a biopsy that could have been a hack shack operation, I had this feeling something was questionable.

Then, it wasn't until 2004 that I started collecting and rounding up my records. I had everything, my whole history, except for the documentation from the first OBGYN I ever went to (as a virgin, in my 20s), who documented I said I was a virgin (this was in 1997 bc I still lived at my house in St. Johns, in Portland, and I was 23 years old and a documented, confirmed virgin) and then did an exam where I bled (which is why I say I lost my virginity to the speculum maybe). I even remember the weather. It was the summer of 1997. Spring or summer. Actually, it might have been late summer going into fall because I remember some rain and gray days then. I remember the office, the magazines, everything. I tried going to an elderly man first, who was an OBGYN and he sat me down and said if you are a virgin, you don't need one and he wouldn't do it. I had other OBGYNS turn me down, saying, if you're a virgin, you don't need an exam. But I thought everyone had them, and then someone said, "no, even if you're a virgin you could have other issues." ??? what, I don't know, but I went in on the safe side. So she was the one who officially documented it was not possible or a good idea for me to deliver the regular way because my pelvis was too narrow in one way. I don't remember what it was, but like, fine for width in one direction but not for the other side or back and forth but not side to side, can't remember. She said, "You can get pregnant and carrying will be fine, but you're an automatic C-section." So I didn't have this in my collected records (I mean, my own personal stack of medical records which I was compiling) and I also attempted to get a copy of my CT in 2004 and they told me it was "missing." Which was really odd. First someone refused to give it to me, saying they couldn't release it to me and then when I said I had a Dr. for them to give it to, they said it wasn't "there". Like it had never existed. I went to the lab where they held the records and everything. It was an x-ray, CT diagnostics lab. This was the first extremely strange "disappearance" of my medical records. Like, my entire CT films AND the report were "gone"? vanished into thin air?

I remember the location, because it was a radiology clinic that was next to where I had ended up living, when I moved to Hemlock St. I still remember how to drive to it. It was right next door to a little shopping area and medical clinic area that I later found out Raul Bujanda had been living next to. I didn't know this, at the time. I didn't know I lived near him and hadn't met him yet, but it was close to this one golf course. In that area, there was this golf course, and then to the side further down, I think some kind of large electronics store. And then on the other side of this road, which had curves, there were a lot of medical offices and complexes. That's where this radiologist place was that "lost" or "couldn't find" my first CT scan.

So, strange enough, my CT went "missing" or disappeared. They said yes, they should still have a copy bc it wasn't that old. But someone took it. Or, they just said they couldn't find it.

Then, my stack of medical records was stolen. The entire thing. And it had all of my records except for the OBGYN report at a different clinic, which was my first OBGYN (and I'm quite sure the other man who I tried to go to first would remember me, because I remember hiim and it's not everyday you met an attractive 23 year old coming into your office saying she's a virgin and wants an exam. I remember very well. He even blushed or turned bright red and said he couldn't do it. Wouldn't do it, and I did not need it. I remember where his offices are in fact and it was an old fashioned bungalow house.)

So then someone stole all my records from ME. I was taking them to lawyers, to discuss my knee injury from being wrecked by a hit and run, but I just brought the whole stack. If you want a stack of something approximately "8 inches high", there was never any sexually explicit writings from me to anyone ever. What WAS about "8 inches high" was the stack of my medical records.

This was stolen from me in 2004. Wait. No, I guess it was in 2002. It was stolen the same week I visited a lawyer who did some case work for the Abbey and Archdiocese of Portland in Oregon. When he didn't file my case as he said he would, I had to rush to file it on my own, and that was in 2002.

So....My medical records were stolen in 2002.

And I asked for my CT before that, so I guess it was in 2002.

Yes, and then I think after I knew where Bujanda lived, in 2004, I went to the radiology place again and just noted the proximity but I'm not saying I ever though there was any correlation. I just remember it was the same area.

And then what's strange, is that I moved all the way to Washington state and even my dental records showed up missing.

I remember I got a copy of the OBGYN notes, the one I first went to, but I didn't have them in the stack that was eventually stolen (I don't think). I remember I looked them over at one point, and it was documented.

I even remember the weather on the days that I went to see the male OBGYN (who said I didn't need it) and then her. It was raining and a gray day when I saw him. When I saw her, the sun was shining and I remember what I was wearing as well. I just remembered hearing other women talking about their "pap exams" and "gyn appointments" and I guess I started thinking I was maybe supposed to do something or have one, to make sure everything was fine. I didn't have any problems. I had very regular periods. Clockwork. No problems. But, what if there was something no one could see? could I get cancer and not even know it? I kept thinking all these things so I went in to fit in and feel like the rest of the women my age. I thought maybe the older man I'd first gone to was old-fashioned or not up to date on things. I didn't know.

And then I was raped a year later.

And then, I had lawyers and insurance companies and others, lying about me to Oregon's "Willamette Week" and trying to portray me as a demented, immoral seductress of monks, who wrote sexually explicit email (right. I hardly had any idea of what sex was about), and was unstable.

One lie leads to another lie, and the next thing you know, they are torturing me and my son. Just to keep on top of the lies and to make the defamation look like it wasn't really a big deal and didn't ruin my life at all.

What I should have done, if I had had a decent lawyer in Canada, when I was being hauled in for immigration "violations" I didn't commit, was when I saw that copy of the Willamette Week on the opposing attorney's desk (the attorney for B.C.) I should have slapped down a copy of my medical documentation of my virginity in 1997, and then said, "I'll raise ya."

I went from having zero attempts at character assasination, and have almost zero experience of intimacy, to being called a criminal, demented, and an immoral slut. I had enough character witnesses to win the lotto and Take Vegas all on my own, for proving I was grossly defamed. So what to do when they realize this?

How about torture, and making it difficult to prove so she reeaaally sounds mentally ill?

I swear that all of the above is true, and I am willing to testify in a court of law to it's truth, and I would be willing to be questioned under penalty for perjury. It is all true.

Is it possible to go from being a naive virgin with no criminal history or mental health problems, to a raving lunatic who is a seductress overnight? What's even better, is that from the time of my medically documented virginity, at age 23, to the time that I was first being defamed, inbetween this time I had counseling and this further documented my state of mind. There was nothing wrong with me except for being devastated by being raped as a virgin. So, lets get a jury to believe this...a woman who has been a virgin her whole life, no criminal record, lots of friends, who goes to a counselor and everywhere wearing modest clothing, who is greiving being raped when she was "waiting until marriage"...this woman went to a monastery and turned into a criminal and wanted to sexually entice men there who were monks? wrote sexually explicit email when she never watched even R rated movies? and had had 1 small and short relationship that was intimate which she resolved was a reaction to being raped and confessed to this in counseling? So then breaks up to wait until marriage again but LO! those MONKS, just were TOOOOO tempting! Yeah, imagine some woman who just discussed, in counseling, how she was breaking up with someone because she felt she had gone to him as a reaction to being raped. Confessed to feeling worthless and like I wasn't "worthy" of a good person because I didn't have my virginity to offer. So out of PTSD reaction, went with a nice bf and cried every single time, and then finally broke up with HIM, just so I could go up to Mt. Angel Abbey and "get it on" with monks. All of my feelings were documented in counseling. There was never any idea of mental illness. Ever. And I was the one to say, well, I guess I can go back to being a virgin, sort of.

Then I ended up being accused of trying to seduce a MONK and writing explicit email when no such thing ever happened. They were so worked up that I wanted to know instead, what monks were supposed to do or not do because something weird was going on (I thought), that they allowed people to RUIN my life over it.

Then, I got by for another couple of years, refuting claims I was nuts, by trying to be out in the public eye more, and filed my lawsuits, and went to college, and proved I wasn't nuts.

Until I was forced to quit college. Suddenly, someone decides that maybe I am a threat.

Who knows. It might have even been something else too. For all I know, the fact that I had been a virgin was a threat all on its own. Or maybe that's just where jealousy comes in. When someone has almost everything, and morals too, and it's too much to take.

How better to really destroy the threat for once and all, than to torture someone.

And try to permanently ruin their life by false accusations of mental illness and crime. Throw in a little alcohol and distress to demoralize the person more, and try to make the "end product" match up with the lies that they told and the crimes that THEY committed.

Again, I am fully willing and ready to testify to all of this in any court of law. And I still happen to have some documentation and character witnesses as well. And for the last time, I want my son back. No, actually, it won't be the last time I say this.

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Smith Wigglesworth

Last night I had felt a sadness or heaviness until I made my post about asparagus and coughing up blood. I don't know why, but I felt better as soon as I was looking it up. It must be for someone, but it wasn't for me. Then, I was trying to post and I had so much interference it was unbelievable. My laptop kept shutting down, redirecting connect, deleting what I had written and I had to start over, on and on. I also read that the asparagus is from the lily family and I had just placed a giant asiatic (oh, just found out it's not asiatic, but I don't know what kind yet...okay, found it. My mom saved the info on it. It's called "Pink Heaven" and it's extremely fragrant--one lily fills the whole house) lily at the head of my bed, on a shelf that was just above. My mom planted a bunch and I had it in the kitchen but then I decided to put it above my pillow, on this narrow shelf at the headboard. After I did this, I tore up the shirt, read from the Bible, looked up asparagus and coughing up blood and I ended the night by making a post and then reading about hemophilia when it came to mind after all that. First I was looking through all these nutritional homeopathic books trying to find something in the index for bleeding, or coughing and when I saw the word hemophilia after not finding anything else, I read about this. I then fell asleep. I watched the movie Doc Hollywood before all this (earlier in the evening) and laughed a lot. I don't remember it being so funny. I laughed first right at the beginning as soon as he had cut through the construction by driving along the side, passing everyone, and then he's gunning it, getting ahead of everyone and as he's passing this big truck he doesn't realize he's missed his exit for Hollywood and ends up in the sticks. With that song he's playing. And then he's at a gas station with guys in overalls and says, "Where are we now?" I watched this until sometime after 9 p.m. and then got ready for bed and reading. I took my laptop to bed with me and looked things up there after I put a lily on the headboard (so then I was reading about this asparagus and looking back at the lily thinking, "that's weird" and trying to imagine how it's in the same group as an asparagus).

I think I dreamed but I don't remember what about. I woke this morning and looked up Oswald Chambers' devotional, and then a quote on youtube by Smith Wigglesworth, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3AHTtWC80Fg, and then a sermon by him called "The Secret Place", http://wigglesworth.born-again-christian.info/smith.wigglesworth.sermons.3.htm. (I like the part about the drummer boy refusing to sound a retreat).

I think what I want to do now is share what I read from the Bible last night and my thoughts about it.
*************
It's about 10 minutes to 11 a.m. and for the last hour I am noticing the Holy Spirit where I'm shaky but I don't know why. I took the dog for a walk (and cat) and then cleaned inside a little and then some things out of the garden and then I went back and was making soup and realized I was almost shaking, my legs were all shaky and I knew it was the Holy Spirit but still don't know why. So I went to the computer while the soup is cooking and every time I got up to stir it, my legs were still trembly.

(update on this...I guess it lasted from about 9:30 a.m.-11:30, but I would say possibly 9:00 am to 12 even. It was for a long time, the whole time I was cooking and I went from making the beans to making strawberry preserves. It was the same thing that happened when I was in church not this last Sunday but the one before. I didn't laugh, just noticed somethings. I guess I said a few words to God but I wasn't on my knees praying or anything, it happened right after I put some things in the garbage, took garbage out, cleaned some things out of the garden and went back to my place and I felt it. I noticed it when I was back at my place. I guess I was putting some things on the table with God, so to speak, but it was only a couple of words and a thought about faith and that was it so I think it was someone else, or some other group, praying, or maybe just the H.S. on its own)

I wasn't in the middle of deep prayer or anything. I did a few things, and with purpose to God, but it suprised me so I think it must be other people praying.

Had to check on my "soup". I guess it's not soup. It's flavorful black beans. ? I soaked black beans for a couple of days and then combined it with carrots from a tupperware where I had cabbage and carrots chopped up for soups and cooking. There were maybe a couple wisps of cabbage but not much and I combined it with the black beans and then it had a covering of water just to the top. I let it simmer and then added a touch of balsamic vinegar, olive oil, and then sweet pickle juice (bread and butter chips), and a little salt. It's done now and it's more like black beans and carrots but very flavorful. Oh, and I had about 1 1/2 onions cut into the mix which soaked with the beans. I realized there isn't any water for it to be a soup and it's just good black beans and carrots and I put it on a plate and squeezed fresh lime over it. Then I gave some to the dog too, and the dog loves it!

While I had this simmering, I decided to clean up a section of the garden. I pulled out a few bits of plastic, black mulch plastic, and I don't know why I have left this one glass jar in a section of the yard but I decided to get rid of it. It was a kerr mason jar but I didn't throw it away, just put it near the garbage where someone else can decide whether to use it or not. Last night my Dad was talking about someone who uses voodoo to put needles into others, or he made an analogy, and guess what I found buried in this little section I worked on? a wrapper that was plastic and said needles 3/9. I also found a petunia midnight dreams indicator that identifies plants, in plastic, and this and about 4 different tiny and different shards or pieces of glass were retrieved. along with 2 metal plates, one which was bent. Two metal plates that look like something that might go into my neck. A couple of white blocks. Well, I have plates in my neck and I got all these things out from near the rhodadendron bush. One piece was clear turquoise, another was white crystal and had rainbows in it from the glass, and a couple of clear pieces. I also saw an orange and green gardening glove and I picked it up along with another thing of plastic. You couldn't really see any of these things unless you were knee level, and I went to knee level to clean it up.

I first tore up some things and put them in the trash and then I said a prayer to God and threw these things out and then decided to clean out this small section of the garden, after I smelled a new lily that came up, that's white and scented I moved to the pink ones and sniffed and then I decided to clean up this section and the rhodadendren bush was there.

I guess it was good I looked back there because I think the glove was newly missing. So I picked it out and the weird thing was that I knew there was something behind the bush but I didn't look or find it until I first cleaned out under it.

6 months and then add 3, makes 9. What happened was wrong.

So anyway, I then was in my place and picked up all these papers that had blown by the wind the other day. I had asked God another question about something else the other day and made papers with different religions and some politics on it and wondered if God might show me anything through it. If not, fine, but only with prayer or things to think about. So then I took this one rose and it was almost faded so I scattered the petals outside and they fluttered all about the porch. Then I had these papers on the kitchen counter and later in the day I opened the windows for fresh air. This wind came up and blew the bits of paper all over, and it went the same way as the petals from the rose. I left it there until today, gathered them up and just tossed them onto the counter and it fell out like a line.

Made me think of a line. Maybe a line referring to the line of new birth that Smith Wigglesworth speaks of. The other line that came to mind was a line of cocaine. At the top of the line was this paper "English UK govt". Not all the papers were turned over. Just a few and then french on the side. The ones in the line that were turned over I can mention in a minute.

I told my Dad the other day, about a week ago when I was cleaning out my pantry and the powdered mashed potato package tipped over and some of the powder fell out, I had straightened it up and there was this powder white line and it had happened just as I was thinking and asking God why Wenatchee was only good to me when I was with my Ex from Colombia. My Ex had nothing to do with drugs at all, but it came to my mind that part of Wenatchees corruption problem, and with me, has to do with drugs. Some of the corrupt officials did things they did based on some kind of criminal mix with refusing to honor the truth and more to do with whatever might satisfy their personal appetites. Even if my Ex had nothing at all to do with drugs, which he didn't, that doesn't mean that I wasn't suddenly treated with respect because of some idea linked to this. How gross, that the U.S. govt supports such slave trade negotiations. I am going to say it again, and get this clear: RETURN MY SON.

So I was saying to my Dad, laughing, "What kind of a Sherlock Holmes am I? huh?...and you see Sir, that it was at the moment the mashed potato powder fell into a line that EUREKA! I discovered the nature of the crime!"

I laughed and laughed about this.

So today I put these papers on the counter and I thought they'd be in a pile but they fell out like a line. Not all the papers were turned over. Only these ones: English UK govt., then christian/catholic liberal, then muslim liberal and indian were side by side, one on the right side one on the left, then russian, then liberal jewish. French was on the side, on it's own not in the line but turned over and then voodoo also figured in to the side. I don't think it means anything at all and I had no question with it at all. I didn't ask God any questions. And I don't imagine that it has any significance at all. However, as sometimes things stir my curiosity I then typed in a search for "use of cocaine for politics, mi5, mi6" and I clicked on this link (from April 2007):

http://www.forteantimes.com/strangedays/conspiracycorner/7/mi6_and_drugs.html.

Which is about a guy whose Dad worked for MI6 and how he testifies there is international trafficking of drugs for politics involving the UK govt, the CIA., Mossad, Rome, and other countries. Supposedly some kind of international cooperation with the IRA as well. Potato powder anyone?

So this is the first time I've ever even looked up such an idea. I've never once thought about it. But it's kind of interesting. Might have to check out the lobster magazine and some related things.

Yeah, and I want my son back.

So moving on, as you figure things out amongst yourselves...

Someone just broke through my radio just now (I am listening to "The Effect" which is christian alternative) and it sounded like someone cut through with a CB or something, like how things stop and then you can say something...anyway, a man just said "It's Jen." It kind of sounded like "It's Jim" but I thought it sounded like Jen. I don't know why this just cut through my radio but it did. It sounded like "It's Jim" but then I thought maybe he said "It's Jen".

The Bible passage I read last night was with a question I had about what kind of man Joe Biden was, and what did God think? but then I read what I came to, in context, and I thought it really applies to a lot of corruption that involves more than one person.

What I randomly turned to was this, when I said, "God, what do you think of Joe Biden?"

"I looked for a man among them who would build up the wall and stand before me in the gap on behalf of the land so I would not have to destroy it, but I found none. So I will pour out my wrath on them and consume them with my fiery anger, bringing down on their own heads all they have done, declares the Sovereign Lord."

I read above this and it really speaks about things I have witnessed:

"Again the word of the Lord came to me. "son of man, say to the land, 'You are a land that has had no rain or showers in the day of wrath.' There is a conspiracy of her princes within her like a roaring lion tearing its prey; they devour people, take treasures and precious things and make many widows within her. Her priests do violence to any law and profane my holy things; they do not distinguish between the holy and the common; they teach that there is no difference between the unclean and the clean; and they shut their eyes to the keeping of my Sabbaths, so that I am profaned among them. Her officials within her are like wolves tearing their prey; they shed blood and kill people to make unjust gain. Her PROPHETS whitewash these deeds for them by false visions and lying divinations. They say, 'This is what the Lord says'--when the Lord has not spoken. The people of the land practice extortion and commit robbery; they oppress the poor and needy and mistreat the alien, denying them justice."

Ezekiel 22:23-31.

I had torn the shirt and then prayed and read some scriptures and thought if anything, this describes the kind of climate my son and I have been contending with. Then I went to my laptop and prayed and thought what should I look up and out of the blue, "coughing up blood. asparagus." So I looked up, "asparagus, coughing up blood".

Psalm 11. Just turned to this now:

In the Lord I take refuge.
How then can you say to me:
"Flee like a bird to your mountain.
For look, the wicked bend their bows;
they set their arrows against the strings
to shoot from the shadows
at the upright in heart.
When the foundations are being
destroyed,
what can the righteous do"

The Lord is in his holy temple;
the Lord is on his heavenly throne.
He observes the sons of men;
his eyes examine them.
The Lord examines the righteous,
but the wicked and those who love
violence
his soul hates.
On the wicked he will rain
fiery coals and burning sulfur;
a scorching wind will be their lot.

For the Lord is righteous,
he loves justice;
upright men will see his face."

I went back to look at the line again and I guess I couldn't read my own scrawl because the one on the side that I thought said "French" is actually "Spanish" I only saw the anish part and I scrawled it like ench.

Which is sort of funny because I thought to myself, as I was looking at this line, and this one the side on its own, I thought, "What's this? the French are the dealer?"

How hilarious. I was tee heeing to myself, and it was Spanish. "What's this?! the Spanish are the dealer?"

For some reason, Hitchens tucking his chin in with a wry smirk.

Here's the link to Lobster:http://www.lobster-magazine.co.uk/

Ah, here's a Jim. James Casbolt. Peter Casbolt. ooh lah lah, wocky wocky wocky!

Oh no. Something mixed in about aliens. I'm not a big aliens believer. I do believe the global drug trade info with intelligence. No, this is different. This was supposed to be a clip about use of children in psychic experiments and someone went over it with some kind of alien clip.

I found some clips with James. When he's speaking, he sounds normal and I believe what he's saying, about the Project anvil and Project Oak and how the scientists the CIA used after WWII were also used by the UK. So he basically talks about things that are similiar to things the CIA has done. Using children who are thought to have genetic predispositions to psychic ability or other traits. The part I don't believe is using "aliens" to combine with humans. I think this is a cover for something else. Then I went to this site about broken mirrors and it has a site called outpost of freedom and how children are programmed, step by step. Alpha, beta, delta, and theta programs. They use incest and child abuse to condition children. They can't do this unless they make a child's guardian as the government. Project Monarch and Ultra were part of the DOD. The Hanford site, which is less than an hour away from Wenatchee, is one of the DODs largest project sites. It's DOE (department of energy) but that is directly connected to DOD as well.

I remember saying something to my Dad once, after seeing a photo of my mother when she was just a young girl. I saw these horrible circles under her eyes and I knew something was wrong, just by looking at that photo. She was only about 5-8 years old. She's standing there by herself and looks miserable. Turns out, I realize later, my mom is somewhat psychic. As is my Dad. They don't call it "psychic", they call it "word of knowledge" or "power through prayer" or "prophesy" or "healing" and that kind of thing.

I am second or third generation guinea pig.

From what I'm starting to figure out, my parents were the first generation to be used by the U.S. I don't know if it goes back to at least my grandparents even, but it might. Grounds for removal of my son were falsified and everything I've witnessed happen to my son, which almost looked like results of gang warfare, starts to look more and more like a continuation of abuse without compensation.

Maybe at some point, some of these kids start getting a thrill out of their abilities. So they forget all about what really happened to them and ignore the fact that they've been slaves and gold mines. If they feel reward from accuratly predicting something or seeing something, or remote viewing, at some point, even if part of it is through the Holy Spirit, if any part of it is due to government projects and experimentation, it's wrong.

I do not want my son used.

Aside from having a narrow pelvis, as the first OBGYN noted in me, she noted something else and I always wondered, if it was true, if that would also have been evidence of some kind of early use of me to precondition me for mind control research. Sounds strange and I don't want to go into details, but it would fit the parameters.

I see it this way--the U.S. has used my family for generations and I am not a willing participant and I want the business to end with my son. I want my son returned. And if some of the CPS and AG crackpots have to start negotiating with intelligence drug lords again, feel free. Do whatever you have to do, but someone had better think of a very good strategy for just returning my child to me.

It is really too bad you've invested so much already. I like how you now attempt to create psychic children or gene pools to work with by trying to get donor eggs and sperm together to make your own frankensteins. If I hadn't heard of some actual stories of this being done, I would hardly believe it. "Breeding" the human race and then using certain ones as slaves, designated slaves before they are even born.

Something doesn't go as planned? oh heck. At least you have the global drug trade at your disposal, for covering up, paying for, and bumping off whatever and whomever you want.

Get something straight. Wenatchee is a cess-pool of drugs and I want my son back. If the intelligence groups need to do a little "pow-wow" start thinking like an Indian and get it done. It's better than sitting in a sweat all the time, wondering when someone is going to throw the axle off, isn't it?

I want to say, my family hasn't done anything wrong. But I am able to point a finger at others who attempt to control my family and then want everyone to lie for them. I won't lie, so they designate me as crazy.

How's this for a trade? "You either agree your daughter is mentally ill or we torture her worse than she gets it now." How do they or anyone else prove it? I read a quote by Gotti today that he made when asked a question in court: "Is it true you are in the drug industry?" He replied, "No, how would we compete with the government?"

It's really interesting how all of Washington state was practically bowing out of all their claims against me when I went back to Wenatchee with my fiance from Colombia. Then they go into overdrive and back out of any "just" moves they were finally making, just because I break up with him?

Does something STINK? He was 1. Colombian, 2. Catholic, 3. A man.

Which of these appendages to my case mattered the most?

Either these people, the criminals who work IN the justice system and with CPS, either thought they were getting something out of our marriage personally, or they were just satisfied with a hidden plan to attempt to jail me or claim I was committing marriage fraud so he could be "legal".

Not once, was it EVER about OLIVER. It was never about him and it was never about me. It was about THEM and the minute they thought they weren't getting something, or someone didn't pull through for them, all of a sudden, a case involving a child and an innocent mother goes back to the cutting board?

Really interesting.

So what was it?

What was the hidden "benefit" Wenatchee and Washington state or the feds, were getting out of this? I say this because all of these agencies are Washington and federal ones. Or controlled by federal ones. It wasn't just Washington, because when I tried to get somewhere with CPS in Washington D.C., I had serious problems with them as well.

Basically, I went back to Wenatchee with a fiance and all of a sudden, everyone was backing down on harassing me. I remember very well. I remember which Judges, the CPS and AGs, everything. Then, all of a sudden, the minute I fold and decide I need a little time, these very same people turned back into scoundrels. So what makes total scoundrels, all the way to psychologists who jerked me around, lousy pds, the works, what turns scoundrels into little angels? Cocaine? the idea they might have access just because he's Colombian? Religion? ah, now she's marrying a catholic, the absolutely heinous catholics who have tortured her and her child will back off? peace man?

What was really great, was then the whole preparation for "Real Torture II". First my son and I get blasted in E. Wenatchee and then I break up with Colombo and these people who are suddenly giving me respect and WOW, even bringing out the metal detector into the courtroom like they care or something, they deliberately sank their teeth into me and my son, and plotted how to not just discredit me for good and try to justify their lousy rear ends, they planned how to invade every part of my privacy and personal and civil rights. I.Q. tests and psychological evaluations for CPS? NO. Not exactly. How about drugging, torture, retaliation, sexual abuse, hypnosis, medication to permanently alter my brain, brain scans that I refused to give the govt which my HORRIFIC lawyer Titus obtained for them anyway.

Did you set them up next to my dental x-rays?

You know, my missing dental x-rays that kept disappearing from the dental office in Cashmere, including a full set of my tops and bottoms and even a mold. Disappeared.

Me: "What happened?"
Dentist: "I don't know. We can't find them anywhere. We'll just do them over, no charge to you."
Me: "Okay"

Right. My dental records and mold disappear from the offices, after someone stole my entire stack of medical records in Portland, Oregon, which is also where my first CT scan on my brain was done. Yeah, they couldn't "find" that CT scan, EVER, either. "We can't find it."

Then "CPS" wants more.

Do you know what?

You are done. You are going to return my son or have some harder questions put to you, in a court of law, and if it has to be for court with the Geneva Convention, on an individual claim brought by me for me and my son, you will have that to look forward to.

My medical records were being stolen and confiscated as early as 1998, which is when I had the first CT scan for migraine and one odd memory lapse. They said everything was normal. After that, every single medical record I had from then on was stolen or in the case of my injured knee, one x-ray deliberately withheld from me.

So when these kinds of things happen and then I'm tortured, and it's state to state, it does look an awful lot like there is someone with federal strings and not just state purse strings.

I was made a living laughingstock and ridiculed. If you think I ever forgive those responsible, you are wrong. On top of torture, ridicule on an almost daily basis.

One thing I liked reading about was how LSD was used to turn political activists and revolutionaries into "flower children". That must have been the most brilliant and horrendous mass Project in recent history. And let everyone think it was "fun"! Instead of being angry about being dosed and introduced to dumbing drugs by the government, people still talk about "the good old days". Yeaaaaaah. Wasn't it great??? flowers in our hair, nakedness, and just peace and make love not war! Come on man, don't be a killjoy. Come on man, don't ruffle my feathers.

This is a documented case of a CIA project in effect and no one even thinks about how it started or realizes, "Wow. We were all part of a massive human experimentation project."

No. They just think it was "cool".

We're still paying to feed some of those appetites that were created in the 60s.

Here pumpkin, put a flower in your rifle barrel. Was it a flower in the rifle barrel or more about putting flowers in the hair of the political activists and convincing them, "You are so much prettier when you're not angry honey."

Some of you were part of a CIA Project and UK was part of it as well, MI6 was. They started it! And you guys are still ignorant and how odd that some of you, who were guinea pigs, would then allow me and my son to be used as guinea pigs.

How to control a crowd?

Crowd control rules anybody? DRUGS!

Wasn't it just greeaaatt! Boy were you cool man. The government thought so too. They have all these cool photos of you in their files.

What's great, is figuring out, at that time, who has what weakness and can be manipulated later in the future with a substance or garter belt.

"Remember Judge at the dinner party in...when was it...ah! here. Yeah, is he still into that? Really? well it says here he went to (redacted) with (redacted) and their drug of choice was (redacted). Oh, women? really? more than drugs? what kind?"

Thanks to so many taking part in "The Project" of the 60s, willing volunteers or not (trying to tamp on the acceleration of the 50s civil rights), an entire generation that could be blackmailed was created.

The baby boomers could be depended upon, some of them, to allow and facilitate the corrupt of the newer generations and their own children and children's friends. The potential was planted then and to this day, some federal judges refuse to hear drug cases. Guess why. No one wants to see themself in a photo dancing around like Dudley Moore with a bong in his hand when he's sitting on the bench. Or be in a position where he's sentencing others and then goes home to take a hit and wonder when the next afterparty is. Don't let his grey hair and paunch fool ya.

Thanks CIA and MI6. Yer great.

The best excuse is to write up a massive project of experimentation on their own citizens as one that "the citizens appeared to thoroughly enjoy and most were willing participants and wanted to try it." Get some HOT CIA hipster mamas out there to fuel the flame on the party. Oh yeah baby! TARGET: intense political activist writing prolific... (enter hot CIA blond recruit in tight short shift and go-go boots), "Hi, could I get you a drink? I have something else here that I'd like to try with you" (she proceeds to intoxicate and convince him to take drugs and derails his entire mission).

I know I've written about this before, but what is strange is that the baby boomer generation seems to have a hard time accepting the idea that this kind of thing is sometimes done on an individual basis and not just for a mass population.

I was looking at epidemiology just now and then thought about psychology and psychology of those who do or allow human experiments without consent of participant/victim/survivors. I would like to know what branch of psychology studies and addresses those who attempt to use others for research and experimentation and then discredit them at the same time. I guess the closest thing might be abnormal psychology but what is strange is that no one in intelligence, govt. positions, medical research, military or others, ever seems to think someone who has authority or a "real job" is possessed by a disorder that deserves DSVM classification. I mean, what kind of psychologist is it that listens to stories of those who have really been victims of mind control research? And do they only validate the victims? or do they also study the groups or persons that do these things to others to begin with?

I was looking up this psychology and found the Milberg experiment and then I found a link to "Top 10 Unethical Psychological Studies" and this is great because it shows use of power or position (as an educated and licensed psychologist) in subjecting children and adults to really horrific and torturous experiments:http://listverse.com/2008/09/07/top-10-unethical-psychological-experiments/.

I enjoyed reading this and I also thought, all of these reports talk about something like 170 colleges and universities taking part in human experiments without consent. I mean, the torture and harmful experiments, and I think to myself, since I keep reading the number is over 100 of these universities, in the U.S. alone, I should, and all students (if they care to be contientous..msp) should boycott and NOT go to any of the colleges that make this list. What seems most disturbing is that a lot of these colleges are ones that are rich or have rich alumni. Some of the Ivy League schools, for example (but probably more of the public research universities). I mean, do you really want to give your money to Harvard, when Harvard is turning your classmate into a Unibomber? Some of these schools are NOTORIOUS for their USE of HUMANS as guinea pigs. This is not OLD HISTORY and it's a SHAME that Hillary Clinton just encourages this kind of reconciliation show of apologizing to victims of a country for "something that happened in the past" and "another time".

Get real.

This kind of ABUSE is happening NOW. And don't tell me the Clintons don't know a thing about it. Or many other persons in power (I'm not just picking on the Clintons, believe me). I guess the way you get to be President these days is not just about the public electing you but the kind of assurance one might give these kinds of universities and corporations, by keeping quiet about it.

So anyway, I am interested in looking into more of these kinds of cases and what kind of psychology it is or who studies the real weirdos in our world that get away with torturing humans in our own country.

I need to find out, I think, what this list is, of colleges that participate in such research and studies and it's out there already I think, but maybe with a link to the kind of thing they've done in the past.

It doesn't matter how "good" a university is. You do not want to go there, if they have no ethics. Some might just think they want the brand name on their degree or certain programs a school has to offer but I would encourage all students to think about that brand name when it's linked to another atrocity, or how you are willing to sell your soul, and sell out your own classmates to a slaughter, by supporting ANY college or university that engages in, and has a history of, research and experimentation of human beings without their consent. When the "best" students start turning their noses up at universities, and they are asked why they cannot be persuaded to go to their school with all the scholarships or incentives they have to offer, it should be an incredible point of pride and distinction to be able to say, "I don't support your policies on research and experimentation of humans without their consent. In fact, I believe it is a crime."

Take your brains to a different college that has standards and respect for human life and civil rights, and make THAT college a shining star by the students that come out of it. The boycott should begin with colleges and universities because these are the places that are using YOUR student money to FUND groteseque programs.

If you're not a victim, maybe your sister will be, indirectly, or your classmate next to you. They don't CARE about you. Colleges like this want to use you and make money no matter what the cost is.

Start paying attention to the politicians too. Those who defend such things or are wishy washy do not need your vote. It's a disaster waiting to happen.

Friday, July 29, 2011

asparagus and coughing up blood

. I tore up the crown shirt and got an insight about the crown herb. Yeah, it's weird. I was given this shirt with a crown chakra on it and I decided tonight to tear it up and use it for rags to clean with. It reminds me too much of this crown business. So then I sort of prayed and read from the Bible on something I asked a question about and then set that aside and then I was online and thought of what I should look for and this came to mind: asparagus, coughing up blood. So I wondered if asparagus has any effect or help at all for the symptom of coughing up blood (which I do not have). And oddly enough it does. A small 3.5 oz serving meets 40% of the RDA for Vitamin K. What other properties it has I don't know but all this India stuff kept coming up and so I clicked on it because then I was looking up: asparagus, bleeding. And what I found was that asparagus root is even used for menstrual bleeding problems. And other problems as well, that have to do with bleeding. It's prescribed for toning the uterus and supposed to help lessen excessive or abnormal bleeding, particularly in women, which is somewhat diverent from "coughing up blood" but still. I read that according to Indian lit, asparagus is called the "queen of herbs" or "queen herb" and they make use of every part of it, including, what they call, the crown. It's said to bring love and fertility. And for whatever reason it was brought to my attention this evening, not for myself it seems, but for someone else, there was some overall good spiritual meaning in the tearing of the shirt and prayer.

As to whether it's the best thing ever, as a natural remedy, for bleeding or coughing up blood, I have no idea, but here's to asparagus!

I have good memories of asparagus because I used to take walks with Granny and we picked it out in the wild and steamed it. We picked sunflowers and wild asparagus and walked along the water. It was great! And I think I need to add asparagus to my shopping list next time...

Making Tincture & College & Bomb Shelter Cinema

I just watched a couple of great videos for making herbal tincture. It's so easy I don't know why I don't set up shop somewhere.

I just wrote a post and someone deleted all but the first two sentences. So, starting again.

I was wondering about how to use alcohol for tincture because the organic milk thistle seeds I bought, are said to be soluble in alcohol. So I watched a video about how to make a tincture with alcohol by a woman named Birgitte, and she demonstrates alcohol tincture with pine leaves. Then she mentions it can be done with apple cider vingar so I went to the first one I found which was posted by TimWalkingBear in Maine, and he shows how to make an organic apple cider vinegar tincture with red clover blossoms and greens. He says it can also be done with oil. I think, possibly, I've seen his video before. At the end he says something and I don't know what it is but it sounds like "dojo".

The main rule of thumb in making an herbal tincture with the vinegar rather than alcohol is to double the amount.

If one lived in an area with a market for this kind of thing, it would be fun to make and sell. It's probably pretty easy. I don't know how you'd standardize it though. I suppose you can always read to find out!

Every herb is different too. Some are soluble with water, others have properties that are only drawn out with alcohol. And then I was reading some Chinese even fry their herbs in alcohol (some of them) for another kind of diffusion.

By the way, I don't watch the 700 club but my parents do sometimes and I had a headache and had to go in early and grab ibuprofen and coffee and heard the story of this Chinese couple that couldn't have children and they tried for 20 years. They finally decided maybe God had other plans and then one day they saw a box on the sidewalk and looked in and saw a baby girl. Someone had just abandoned her and they thought maybe it was because she had a cleft lip. So they took her home and adopted her and named her "Beautiful Jade". They only made about $150/mo and couldn't afford a surgery so they wrote to cbn and asked if someone might be able to help and someone offered to do her surgery free of charge, and they did, and it was the testimony of this family. I had my eyes closed bc my head was killing me, but it was nice to hear.

Anyway, if I have time, maybe I'll start a small side business with organic herbal tinctures. I don't know what you have to do? get maybe a food license of some kind and a business license and that's probably about it.

I had the song "Heaven, I'm in heaven..." come to mind and I tried to play a clip with the song by Fred Astaire and instead, I got a "heaven" video but a totally different song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NfmRSWR_72o. "Heaven" (with fred astaire but it's the song, "...why don't we go somewhere only we know..." and then I just clicked on the next one which is from a movie I haven't seen and features dancing pairs:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=irvivLUJfio&NR=1

I have no idea why the song came to mind, but it did.

At any rate, I think it's maybe because I watched a couple movies last night and one was "Stakeout" and I started laughing thinking of how I had done this choose your own adventure thing and the Dreyfuss guy went from talking about donuts and meeting the prohibited woman at the store and then the clip from always where he's sitting in a chair getting his hair cut by Audrey Hepburn. "am I in Heaven?"

Anyway, tinctures is a feasible idea. I'm looking into it.

I asked my mom what she thought about it and she thinks it sounds like a lawsuit, and then I looked it up and yes, there have been some lawsuits, but mainly against the use of alcohol. Even if it's dense in herbal properties, it's considered a liquor.

So I guess one would use apple cider vinegar. I wouldn't imagine doing this as a large business operation, but something small on the side. Like putting a few pies or loaves of bread to a bakery or something. Just very small.

I chewed several milk thistle seeds today and then I'm doing a detox with dandlion tea (bought the root organic at the store to make it myself) mixed with a little apple juice and apple cider vinegar.

I have been chewing on very small bits of Chinese star anise and I definitely think it has properties that somehow affect hormones.

I have lately been wondering if I might eventually go back to college for a degree in teaching and then possibly a little heavier in biology. I am seriously considering a triple major and did some research about students who have done this and it wasn't a problem for them.

If it were me, I would like to triple major in (at this time in life at least):

English Lit (art history or medeival poetry as a minor)
Biology (preparation for epidemology...the study of outbreaks of disease and conditions and their occurance in different areas, or of genetic traits in certain populations)
Information Technology

I would get the degree in information technology just to equip myself to be a halfway competent person with computers, which would help in whatever career I chose, biology to prepare for teaching or epidemology studies, where I could indulge my inclination to research and brainstorm, and english literature or the arts to complete what I already began and was prevented (in so many ways) from pursuing in a timely way. I wouldn't be one to take on more than 1 degree to be an overacheiver and I've never cared about this or social climbing. I would do it because I'm interested in all these things. I've considered becoming a psychologist (upper end one) but undecided and yet biology could still prepare for whatever I did later.

Also, I have an interest in taking some courses in military science, especially in intelligence. This, to me, is essential, when it is what I have had to deal with. It is not only used by intelligence and in warfare and things, it's used by various mafias and persons who attempt to control others. When I talk about what the possibilities are, and what I have witnessed, I want to know the language. So therefore, I will learn the language.

As for my writing and painting, painting is something I always want to do. I will have to do it in the future though because I need a space with enough ventililation since I prefer oils. As to writing, I'm not writing anything creative online. I still have to get a manual typewriter for that. And a large file cabinet.

One thing that has recently annoyed me again, is surveillance and monitoring of all my online activities. Why does AG Anne McIntosh want to read classifieds of a particular kind, for example? and who is pointing them out to her? and why do I have an incredible effort used to prevent me from ever doing what I really want to do? I have no problems with my computer searches and email and correspondence for so long and then it's like I have the DOD, the CIA, and all the democrats who are recently angry about my comments about Biden, tracking and blocking every single thing I try to accomplish online.

For example, I reset my FAFSA password or pin to see what my loans are and I was supposed to have an email sent to me via the U.S. govt., of course, within 3 days. I never got it. That was a month ago? and I still don't have it. I checked my junk mail and my inbox mail and nothing. I reset it over the phone on a recorded line with someone and I did it physically while he was on the phone with me through the Dept. of Education or whoever the group is that handles this.

In the last several years, anytime I have tried to do ANYTHING online or even by phone, with almost any U.S. agency, I have had zero response. Like, something is supposed to happen and then I have someone tampering with my FAFSA application online, even though its encrypted, so much, that I have to use a paper form which is archaic. I can't get my FAFSA pin when I've reset it and even with a customer rep online, on a recorded call with me. I can't get my own public defense attorneys to ever be honest with me, to date, not one has been a "good apple". I called the IRS and several agencies about my right to payment of unemployment monies and WA state customer service for unemployment, D.C. customer service, and the IRS all lied to me, repeatedly, for over a year. Which left me with zero income and stranded in increasingly dangerous situations which have affected my life permanently.

I would like to know when my son and I get OUR DAY.

Why are the smallest things, most basic of civil rights, so difficult for a normal everyday citizen to attain? and why have we been treated and targeted like the scum of the earth and then used as if we've some kind of gold mine, at the same time?

Even if some of the abuse has occured because of some internationals, this has all occured "On your watch", on the U.S.'s watch.

And I'm tired of it.

I finally get away enough to be in a safer area, and yet that doesn't ease my mind IN THE LEAST about what is happening to my son. He should not be in Washington State and I want him OUT OF THERE. If Big Brother can't make it happen, then he should not be living in the U.S. at all and has no future as long as he is here. He has been a hostage, period. I know exactly what being a hostage is all about and I do not accept it.

I find it totally appalling to then be using public library computers even in this small town, and have so many obstacles to my goals, and bizarre and appalling problems, I have to get up and ask the librarian what their Patriot Act policy is there.

And a lot of these problems recently have come up since I blogged a post about WACO and Biden sitting there defending the government's actions.

It didn't matter which computer I tried to move to, I had someone actively doing some really weird things (not harmful but more of an obstructive and harassing nature) no matter which one I went to. It's like when I used to have a ton of really bizarre and almost frightening ads and songs come up that were being generated by search engines but much more specialized.

I've blogged about some of this before. I mean, putting out ad after ad about death and life insurance, when I wasn't making any kind of searches that had any relevance to this whatsoever.

I think there are some very good people where I'm at now but as soon as we're on the outskirts, if I am, I notice more intent to harass from others passing through. It's not all the time at all, but it's definitely on the outskirts or closer to the freeways or if I've been out in public very long. At first, it will be this general mix of people, many friendly and seeming normal and then after a couple of hours, it's like anyone with an issue comes out of the woodwork sometime after noon.

Seriously.

Which is why I prefer to be more secluded and appreciate this at this time.

It's 10x better here and most of the problems still come from out of town if there are any, or lets just say, from a further range. Drastically improved. Drastically. If there are a few small issues, it's usually in small clumps, like 2-3 days in a row and then it quits. 2 days in a row and then quits. With more peace inbetween. It's such a huge and marked improvement there is no doubt whatsoever that it is safer and better for my son to be here than anywhere else. Period. I don't want him going to Wenatchee area schools ever. I am 100% opposed and against it. I am 100% opposed to the horrible conflicts of interest there are there, which is why they've tried to contain everything.

I have been vegetarian now for almost 1 year. First I was a seafood consuming vegetarian, doing it as a kind of fast with my son in mind, to do until he is with me again. Then, at some point while I was in TN, about 4 months ago or so, I cut out all fish and seafood because I thought maybe I used it as a crutch (what kind of a fast is it when I love seafood?). So then I ended up becoming full vegetarian but if someone is serving something with meat and that's all there is, if I can put this to the side, I do, and eat the rest. I'm not fanatical to the point that "it cannot be contaminated with meat!"

Anyway, I only do this for Oliver.

The state has made every effort, EVERY effort to try to completely severe the bond. Not ONCE, in good faith, did they ever attempt to change and undo the wrongs they did. They have failed at every single rule and regulation they even have, and they did all this, and perjured themselves and lied collectively, exactly like that BCC movie "Conspiracy of Silence" where the entire town knows and lies, and they did this on TOP of making a fraudulent case to begin with, and kidnapping my son from me in Canada and colluding to have me falsely arrested.

I can prove it, and I will.

If they do not correct their mistakes and find a way to "...what do you say if we just dismiss this whole thing?" I will make the aggregious wrongs so public and pronounced worldwide, they will wish they were never a town. To this DAY I have NO CLUE why they made such a huge deal about one young white woman being murdered, when they harbor murderers, liars, and torturers in that town on a regular basis. People know exactly what's going on. What's unfortunate for my son, is that some of them who had friends in the federal government came in and did a job to make it nearly impossible to rectify. And then, instead of having media on my side, as this is what finally worked for those falsely accused of sexually assaulting kids, I got the WACO crew that gleefully linked arms and said, "heaven help us, we ARE the media!"

Do you realize, that with all of the blame that went to the arms people, it was people like Biden and the media that allowed this to happen? Every single one of those reporters and journalists who is documented linking arms and making light of a situation where children were gassed, tortured, and burned alive, is part of the front, or face, of the American media collectively. Every single channel that did not pick up on that story, to try to save lives of children, who instead camped out around the place just to get sensational footage, is responsible.

The media has as much power as a court of law these days, and they stood by when an extreme situation was being brought to their attention, and made light of it and joined up arms like cheerleaders.

And whatever group has been increasing harassment against me since I blogged about Biden, needs to back off. I mean, computer problems and surveillance, and attempts to block or interfere with aspects of my private life that are not anyone's business. Biden is responsible for himself and somehow, the public is responsible for allowing that man to take office. And, I would add, anyone else who, like him, defending reprehensible actions taken by the U.S.

My favorite shows so far, out of some movies I've watched...the ones that I connect to the most, are "Extreme Measures" (about non-consensual experimentation on humans), the WACO documentary, the one with the greek director (name escaping me but who also filmed "Amen"), and I guess the only comedy that's made me laugh is The Runaway Bride (even if I can't relate to the idea of just liking my eggs however HE likes his eggs or not knowing who I am). I also liked the humor in The Boiler Room actually, and the suspense of State of Play and the outsider one. I can relate to The Rainmaker as well. They should do a remake of The Runaway Bride with me made up as a skeleton bride like something out of the Day of the Dead. Throw in a few circus hoops and my son screaming in the background.

You want a movie? I'll give you a movie. I'll give you a movie that makes the hair stand on your arms. No, seriously, I can imagine a really macabre suspense. I would want it to be as thrilling or suspenseful as the ones where someone is mistakenly thought to be a spy and chased by all these people who are wrong, and then mix it up with excellent and beautiful cinematography, editing like Tarantino, and actually, I think the music I would underplay the most, strangely enough. It's almost like music would get in the way, or ruin the spookiness of how real and crazy this has been. I think I would want the movie to be without music even, except for the very end maybe and have a real live fat lady sing. Or just some comment about how I wish there had been more music. Maybe the only comparison I'd throw in, with thoughts of another's quote. And someone throughout, who doesn't speak at all and only uses sign language and captions have to be added to bottom of the screen for it. Sort of art-film but not so artsy it's off-putting to the non-artistic action types because they would get plenty of suspense. Surrealist twist? Hmm, I don't know. Might make it too artsy. Would have to be very careful about elimination of music. I like the idea of some large sections that are completely silent, except for the flap of a curtain against a window or something, to demonstrate the symbolism of conspiracy of silence. I think yes, if I had the money, I could make a great movie. I guess that's when I start thinking artistically and I realize it's there and part of me, sublimated. Maybe a trio set. Like the French Red, White, and Blue but relying on senses mainly. Might be too campy and formulaic that way, but one without music, one without picture? hmmm..., a fully shadowed movie? or dark or light or just flashes of colors to go with dialogue and nothing else? keeping that interesting would be a challenge. I guess it would have to be a duo not a trio because there only 2 senses to work with: sight and sound. I guess I would do arthouse short shorts maybe and a full movie if I could, that combines a little art with a lot of drama and suspense. Maybe a short short with real bombs and grenades going off and collapsing makeshift studio that falls apart while audience watches underneath it. They see the screen ahead tear into two and then the walls come down. Ah darn..insurance? Forget 3-D glasses. So old hat. We're into the real thing maaan. I want to open at Cannes like that. Not like fuzzy clouds of rock star smoke. Bring out da big bombs baby. Very advant garde. Then everyone gets to take home a piece of the action. Bomb Shelter Cinema.

(as for Anne McIntosh, I knew she was still following what I was doing bc I had an impression of her, reading, and I saw it. I wasn't trying to see it, God showed me out of the blue. It would be great if sometimes God showed THEM a thing or two, now wouldn't it?)

And the jello cake I saw in my dream, was not just a normal cake with jello mix added. It was presented as a "cake" but it was solid jello, and cut like jello, and yet it had something embedded inside of it or a layer or something and I said, in my dream, "what's that?" and I was told, "Cream cheese" and that's how I knew, in my dream, that it was a jello cake with cream cheese in it. It was orange colored. There were other cakes and desserts to try too.

After my dream, I went online to see if there is such thing as a jello cake. I'd had a piece of "jello cake" a few weeks ago, but it was just added to the mix and it looked like a regular cake, with regular cake texture. The one in my dream was real jello and jiggled like jello. It wasn't in a cake mold, it was flat in a pan and cut like brownies or cake from a rectangular or square pan. Clear glass pan.

I'm looking up John Newton, the writer of the song "Amazing Grace" because I was trying to find songs about "jubilee", "freedom", "slave", "slave trader", and the like and when I looked for vineyard church, freedom it came up with a clip for "freedom against bitterness" and I defiantly typed into my search, "vineyard church, freedom from corrupt government" and got clips of Christopher Hitchens speaking. I didn't click on any of them. but then I read somewhere that John Newton was a slave trader before he became a christian. Isn't it amazing how some of the slave traders were already considered christians? and some of them still act like slave traders even today, and they still think they are christians.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Dreams and Smell of Freedom

I had two sets of dreams but I'm not sharing details. They went on forever though, and one was a huge international parties here and parties there (with tons of different kinds of cakes and desserts and people in dress up party clothes, and a wedding, and you-name-it...one cake was a jello cake with cream cheese in it?! all kinds of things, and I was trying the desserts) dream and then the next one was about some small place in a wheatfield where women were moving out and at the end they said Obama was getting a divorce. Then they said he's already involved with someone. (I woke up and thought, "God is a Republican"? j/k). That was just my DREAM though, not hearsay or other info.

Yesterday I was closing windows in the house and found a brown and black moth with orange somewhere on it (eyes or head?) and it was struggling in the windowsill. It was barely moving at all, and kept falling over on itself and just looked like it was about to die. I said to my mom, "There's a moth here and it's about to die." And then I left it alone and didn't close the window on it and went back to look and it was still falling over and super slow. Finally, I picked it up by lightly pinching its wings together and put it in the palm of my hand to take outside.

When I went outside on the porch I held my hand out and looked and it fell over again, and slowly tried to get up. Then all of a sudden, it was toppled over in the palm of my hand and then it fluttered its wings a few times and then zoomed off. It was like it came back to life.

I went back inside and said, "Mom! that moth that was barely moving and falling over...I took it outside and it fluttered its wings and then flew off, like it took a couple of deep breaths and was fine!"

My mom said, "It smelled freedom."

It had gone from looking knocked over, zapped of strength, and its legs crossing crookedly over its own legs and then toppling over, while moving at a snails pace, to this rejuvenation, right in the palm of my hand. It was less than a few minutes. And then I thought it was just perking up or getting its wind back and instead it was like a full recovery and flew away.

So weird.

That was yesterday. And then today I picked up Brothers Karamazov and started reading it again. I hadn't read much and then set it aside, taking care of other things here. But I picked it up and the part where I'd left off is where Alyosha is introduced as happy to help Fr. Zossima, and then how he really believed this story about a coffin flying out of a window and assisted as Zossima was healing all these people, and it says, whether by natural course or miracle, people were healed. I read to the part where the brothers are all meeting together and have gone to the monastery to meet Zossima.

The moth thing made me think, yesterday and today, of the song:

Pocketfull of Sunshine

and how she has all these butterflies coming from her hand, and the little boy that reminds me of my son.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Dream about Chris

I prayed last night before I fell asleep, for protection over what I dreamed. And then I dreamed about an old coworker. It was this combination dream about him, someone one, an investigation into a murder, and then I woke up. I hadn't been thinking about him at all. I had actually remembered to pray for Christopher Hitchens before I fell asleep and that's what I fell asleep praying about.

In my dream, I've forgotten parts of it, but I remember from one part where someone was getting liquor out of the freezer. It was whiskey or something expensive maybe with a darker golden or brown color and it was a larger bottle. So this person I was next to poured out a shot right there, taking the bottle from the top freezer, and poured into a glass and had a shot and I chastised them, saying they shouldn't and they said why not? And I chose not to have any but quit saying anything.

Then I just remember I was mingling with some people at a small party at a house and I said something to a man about going from the Pacific Northwest to the South Pacific and we chimed in together at the same time about being on one side of the Pacific Ocean with someone else on the other side of the Pacific ocean. Something about either side of the Pacific Ocean. And then I was leaving on bus 16 and stood in line and I was ready to go and then I walked over to look at something else, used a restroom or got distracted, and I watched 2 buses in a row pass, first bus 15 and then I thought, "Oh no, I bet that's bus 16 too" and it was but the bus driver had a little smile on his face. Not a mean smile, but more of a "it's not bad you're missing this bus" but I just thought this isn't good so I went back to the house and then on the Pacific ocean comment, the one tall man I'd been talking to handed me a telephone when it rang and I knew it was Chris but I pretended I didn't know because I was too nervous to acknowledge I knew. I heard "Hello? Hello?" on the other end and it was Chris and then I said fast, "Hello" and handed it back to the one man. Then all of a sudden Chris was there in the flesh, wearing some light colored long sleeve oxford shirt and jeans or pants. And then he was turning to the side and I thought in my dream, his nose looks like Harry's. But not from the front. He sat down on the floor when people were sitting and he wasn't wiry anymore. I said, "You've gained weight" and he had. And then I found out he was in college and I said I wasn't suprised about that. I cried and said I was happy for him, crying because I was glad he using his mind to do something and then he started talking in sort of a snobby or aristocrastic-with-airs tone, but not out of trying to make anyone feel odd, it was his then natural tone. And I wondered if someone was going to break out shots or liquor and thought in my dream if I was having any and decided no, I was going to pass. I thought, in my dream, if I drank I might compromise my position so I decided even if there were rounds, I would stay sober (I have an indefinite fast on alcohol and I don't know what I will choose for myself as a deadline, but I will know when it's right for me and it's not going to be okay for awhile.)

And then it cut to me and my mom at a location of a murder mystery. Some older woman had been murdered and all of a sudden all these people were showing up in church, at college, anywhere, and with interest in investigation of a murder. I think it was at a college. In one scene, we had to use the restrooms and I told my mom there was one at the top and then we found an open toilet with no walls or anything. Two potty thrones I guess, at the top of these bleachers. My mom took one and I took the other and then someone came in and I had my shirt pulled down over my knees to try to hide myself and they started coming upstairs and then we both found out there was no toilet paper. Facing out, I was on one to the left and my mom was on the one to my right. And I asked for toilet paper and this woman said to me, "I only have two squares" and gave me two extremely thin squares and as she pulled them out of her pocket I saw another drift out and to the floor. I said, "I need more." I thought it was horrible she was being stingy with toilet paper. These women handing them out were sort of bratty yuppie or middle class young 20s women. Then they gave my mom a few more but were trying to dole out to her too, and then someone gave me more from somewhere and we got up and walking down or out, all these prying people, asking questions in a nice way but really wanting to know if we knew anything about some murder, and we didn't. I don't know where we were. It seemed to be a college but I thought maybe they were bleachers and then I thought it was like tall stairs to a courthouse or something but it seemed to be at a college.

I then at some point woke up.

Then I went to the house and played Perry's "If I Die Young" with the original video. Not for any reason, but just because the melody was stuck in my head from the day before.

I like Bonnie Raitt's "I'm Not The Only One" and Skillet's "Rebirthing" as well.

I have to say, I felt an absolute peace and comfort writing my last post. It is all 100% true. I am not making any part of it up.

I am literally a witness to all of the things I listed, and actually, a few other things, but that's just part of it.

I felt God with me when I wrote my last post, through the entire thing.

It is 100% The Truth.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

ALT and My Witness (True)

I was looking up the significance of extremely abnormal and unheard-of elevated ALT (SGPT). Like, normal range is up to 50 or something and high is over that, like 70 is very high, and well, 150 or more, is um...trying to kill pretty much.

Which led me to find ALT, another acroynym, for argon lasers. Which led me to look up the wiki for AL, argon lasers and then ions and then, to the general wiki page for a variety of lasers. How hilarious that one of them is called MIRACL.

I have witnessed some really crazy things, and not all of these things have happened to me alone. I know for a fact that I am not alone and I am a key witness.

I am a witness and this is the only reason to spend billions to try to discredit me with false accusations of imagined crime and imaginary mental illness.

I am not only witness to things that have happened to me, I am witness to things that have happened to others and things that have been happening. I am a key witness.

This is an incredibly solid reason for a motive to try to assassinate me through character assassination.

The problem for our enemies is that I'm not the only witness.

I finally realized I am really not alone.

Which kinda improves the odds that the criminals can be caught, and also increases the danger and explains why such abnormal efforts have been made to shut me up and discredit me.

If these people couldn't keep others quiet through blackmail or torturing of family members, knowing they had no one to go to and little ability to prove what was happening, they designated some of the victims to be called crazy.

Blackmail
Torture of family to pressure older members, including torture of children
Poisoning
Money spent to falsely accuse victims of mental illness
Kidnapping
Extortion
Hostage taking and human trafficking
Experimentation of human beings without their consent
Experiments with airborne pollutants, contaminants, germs and drugs
Alteration of medical records
Honeytraps
Collection of blood, used condoms, and hair and tissue without consent
Tapping of residences, vehicles, bathrooms
Theft
Interference of computer and legal processes to block commerce, free trade, and flow of money
Use and abuse of authority and government for personal revenge and protection
Fraud
Public corruption

Now imagine these things being done with the knowledge and allowance of someone up high in the Department of Justice and the U.S. federal government.

If YOU had done these things, or allowed this kind of thing, what would YOU be willing to do to cover your tracks?

To cover for this kind of a list of criminal activities, I would think it would be worth billions of taxpayer and private monies. It would require a concerted and organized effort at middle class and lower class levels as well, for closing some of the gaps. One would need to recruit those they might trust due to family, friend, or religious or political allegiance.

Crimes Against Humanity.

It sounds too incredible, but look at that list again. And then ask yourself, what would the COVER for these kinds of crimes COST? And how high would the motive and incentive be to cover for these things?

I am a firsthand, first-rate witness to crimes against humanity that have occured in the United States of America. Which most likely engaged the cooperation of even internationals who could be bought and persuaded to go along with it. What a disgrace. Respect that is purchased has a short lifespan and is shallow, but no matter, these criminals went for the jugular of even innocent children and then held people hostage as they shredded, stole, and altered documents and evidence.

The crimes against my family involve much more than experimentation.

That's only half of it. On sites that discuss various human experiments, one thing that is mentioned is that it's usually minority, poor, or "disadvantaged" citizens that are used. I would add another group to this list: those who are feared might put OTHERS at a disadvantage.

They don't just use the vulnerable. They go after and select people that make THEM feel "vulnerable", an interesting excuse to create POWs in their own country. Someone is drawing a lot of attention due to intellectual ability? talent? political voice? what better way to subdue the threat than to make an excuse for torturing them and enslaving them with a "license to kill". Feeling vulnerable or worried someone is drawing the affections away from his daughter or political group to another? Worried someone might take a large group to court in lawsuits that could cost a lot? afraid someone is about to expose fraud or perjury with hard evidence?

If you have friends in high places, be creative and think about what YOU might do, if you were possessed with a criminal mindset.

Then, best of all, call it a matter of "National Security". If you can find a great cover to keep some of it confidential after sucking others into a dangerous and criminal scheme, slap a penalty of treason across the box.

As for Vanderbilt University and what they agreed to do to me, no wonder I sensed something very dark and despicable on their campus. This is a campus composed of human remains. They have been documented doing non-consensual human research on others since at least 1941, when they injected a number of impoverished pregnant women with radioactive iron. Some "christian" college. They are now ranked as one of the "best" medical schools and hospitals in the nation. At the cost of lives which are not their own. (See note about them under the year 1941:
http://www.scribd.com/doc/3158268/Medical-experiments-in-the-USA-History.

May God damn Vanderbilt University, their responsible staff, and vindicate the victims.

I had not even read about their heinous history of human research when I blogged about sensing something very bad on the campus. And it was just as I was approaching their research labs and international campus section. Where their "research" is done. God damn them. I don't mean this figuratively, or as an expression. I say this as a proclamation and request that God's will be done on earth as it is in heaven and may God damn them. God damn Vanderbilt University and may their funding be given to other hospitals and colleges and may they lose students and reputation.

As a contrast to this dark and despicable place, today I said to my Dad, "I sensed a good energy at the house we went to. Like someone has been praying there a lot." I noticed it as soon as I went inside. A feeling of God's presence and peace resting there. And then my Dad said, "Well actually, it's been rented or used by mainly pastors and ministry groups." Not everyone was, but I discovered that I had sensed something that might be true--that people had prayed there and I could feel it. A women's ministry group of 4 had stayed there, friends and pastors of the family (the Shaws) had stayed there, recently friends from a church stayed there, and others as well. Some were medical people and a few were christians. I'm not saying everything good happened there, but there was a covering of prayer or something over it and I thought I felt it just walking in.

I would swear to everything I wrote in this post, in any court of law, under penalty of perjury. It is not an exaggeration, as incredible as it sounds, I am a witness to all of these things and more.

I am prepared to testify.

Lefties...Again

I had zero dreams last night. Which was great. The only thing that happened was that I woke up out of sound sleep at exactly 1 a.m. and turned on my light to look and fell back asleep. But no dreams or anything else.

This morning I decided to listen to the song "If I Die Young" by Perry and I went to the 5th tab and then went 5 up from the bottom and clicked on an amateur video made by, of course, a leftie. The teen writing in the clip is writing with her left-hand. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0pM20kvBuKQ

I picked the 5th tab because I was thinking of my son. And then I went 5 up from the bottom, thinking of my son.

In this video, there are 2 sisters and a father and 1 of the sisters is sick with cancer and dies.

SO! um, anyway!

My waking thoughts were of the severe injustice my son and I have been through in this country and the corruption we've been wading in. I want my son. I am not forgetting about him and I want him back without negotiation. Someone needs to work it out or a higher power has a way of working things out in a way others wouldn't wish for.

A beautiful, beautiful crimson dragonfly just flew onto my porch.

I've seen blue ones around here, but this is the first red one I've seen. Oh, there goes a blue one as I speak. But this red one is there with tan gold wings that shimmer in the sun, and a velvety crimson body. It just arched its body and the wings are more like bronze or coppery even, but almost metallic with this gorgeous sheen. The other one is flying around nearby. These are about 1-2 inches long and have 4 wings.

So far, here I have seen molusks, gastropods, slugs, dragonflies, hummingbirds, blue jays, sparrows, a whole flock of pelicans, seagulls, blackbirds and crows, buzzards, all kinds of spiders, ants and bugs. The other day I saw 2 different varieties of bees right next to eachother, taking from the clover blossoms by my porch. Then, on another day, I was awake when I was bitten by a spider. And saw 3 different kinds of spiders within 5 minutes.

I am proud of this about my family: we are not afraid of the creations of God. My mother isn't bothered by spiders or insects or bugs anymore than I am and we all respect living things. We have a very strong respect for life in my family and this is almost exceptional these days I think,

A white moth or butterfly flew by. Oh, and there are both orange and black and yellow and black monarch butterflies here, and very large.

This dragonfly has been sitting at my feet on my porch for about 5 minutes now. Just basking in the sun I think. It flew up a little and then moved closer to me.

The way their heads move, they seem so smart. I am going to try to get closer but it might fly away. I want to see it better.

I was about 4-5 feet away and I moved down slowly, from one step to the next and it didn't spook. I was able to look at it with my face immediately above it. The body looks like a thin chili pepper and at the bottom of the tail there were 5 very faint black rings. In the center of the body there was a rectangular section that was tan brown. A medium tan brown. And this is where the wings attached. The brown section reminded me of a backpack but it was recessed not elevated. On the wings, they were irridescent and had a small black tip on each one, at the corner edge and getting close enough, the veins at the top part of the wings had red threads and then the rest looked pale tan irridescent and I think its from the reflection off of the brown section where the wings attach. It's tan brown because there is a slightly more yellow than blue undertone to it. It's eyes were red. From a distance it looked sort of crimson but up closer parts looked pure red. It stayed in the same spot for about 15-25 minutes. It flew onto my porch right after I posted about the song I listened to and video. It didn't move the whole time I was close, just watched me and was quick about watching the fly that flew past. Then I got up to move back and that's when it flew away.

Then I went to maranatha singers and clicked on an instrumental piece for the hymn or song, "Isn't He".

I don't know why I thought of this, but I've been sitting in a car with a big hammer on the floor, a sledgehammer, and thought of singer M.C. Hammer just now. I thought, "I need to hear some old hip hop and I chose 5 down from the top, thinking of my son and got this clip for "2 legit 2 quit." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jwmpRATHos&playnext=1&list=PL4FCB8236BACDF88C

Where this guy is thrown a bunch of fireballs and refuses to quit.

Um, yeah, that's the Mother v. State.

I like what David Koresh had to say about the government in the documentary for WACO that I watched. He was not a smart guy maybe, but he did have some good things to say. One was this, that the government was like brothers. The little brother comes over and beats on someone and when the innocent go to ask for help, it's like the little brother leaves and comes back with his big brother and tells the innocent victim that if they want justice, they can talk to his big brother.

Who is big brother going to protect?

Which is probably why I finally had a lawyer tell me my problems were not just with the State, but the Federal Government that was responsible for allowing the abuse and torture of me and my son in violation of the Geneva Convention.

I was so naive, after all of this, I kept saying, "What do you mean the federal government?"

Excuse the language in this song, but it came up next and I just thought it was funny. Soulja Boy's "I Just Got My Report Card."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9Jr3M3tL94&feature=mr_meh&list=PL4FCB8236BACDF88C&index=2&playnext=0

I like this one too, by Eminem: Can't Back Down
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzEBrJVMyqU&feature=related

Here's TD Jakes "Courage in the Crisis"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgjAyHll4gI

at 5:41 on this clip, he says "The class was over...and the wind ceased." (when Peter got back into the purpose of God)

I went from report card to class is over.

Last night we had dinner with a teacher. Talked about teaching and things. So , interesting clips.

I picked TD Jakes because I just picked up a book that is called "Never Ashamed Naked" and it's about christians needing to strip off the superficiality and covers they use in the name of Christ while doing things that are fake, or not very good. It's about being real with God and real with yourself and not trying to masquerade as something else. How Jesus was naked on the cross and why should he be ashamed? He did nothing wrong.

So this is how I got the idea to pick a clip with TD Jakes and I chose 5 down from the top on a tab. Just random.

Let it be known, I do not want my son going to school without my being his guardian. I do not trust Wenatchee at ALL. I do NOT TRUST MY SON in that town. Period. I want my son back in my guardianship and I swear to God, with God and the trinity as my witness, if this doesn't happen, and someone doesn't be sure to correct a very serious wrong, it will not go well with those who stand in the way.

A monarch butterfly just flew by, a yellow and black striped one. Anyway, this is a great place to look at bugs, flowers and fauna.

"You face your greatest opposition when you're closest to your biggest miracle."--TD Jakes

"The enemy is great at changing a word or two!"--TD Jakes

Monday, July 25, 2011

Mercury Induced Prostate Enlargement

Hello me.

Well you, what have you to say for yourself now?

Um...just this. Maybe prostate enlargement is due to something like mercury induced problemos. Especially for someone who has had a lot of dental work in the past several years.

So here is how I went about my thread...

First I thought "mitochondria" with nothing else in mind. Just mitochondria. Looked it up and then decided to look up mitochondria, prostate enlargement difference. Found good correlation for some thing due to aging processes. Then wanted to find out what the difference is in healthy and non healthy mitochondria. Looked up some stuff. Then had mercury-induced come to mind.

Then looking briefly, only a few minutes on countries or populations with lowest rates, I found Asians and Native Americans have lowest rates (so they say) and that African-Americans have highest rate. So why African-AMERICAN. Why not just African no matter what? this says it's something in line with environmental causes or contributors and not genetics so much.

Hasty conclusions maybe, but just thinking. So then I typed in a search to find out the rate of dental amalgams in these countries. Looked at this after finding a correlation between high mercury levels and death from prostate problemos. NOT saying it's the only cause or oversimplifying. Just thinking.

And then I realized, the person I'm looking for or researching for, has had a TON of dental amalgams in the past several years. Not like he doesn't brush his teeth either. He flossed and brushed all the time. Every day. So all these cavities and all of a sudden, all this mercury.

So it's a possible toxin. I think it's possible, for him. It's benign and yet something isn't okay and this could be one thing to look at.

Mercury can also imitate some of the symptoms of prostate issues, turning urine brownish or red (not that I know personally, that's what I read).

Other countries have been outlawing use of mercury in dental fillings. I guess, after recognizing increases in rates of certain diseases.

So I'm not done yet, but that's my idea for right now.

Too, the older you get, the older the fillings are and the more potential for poisoning over time. Again, not saying this is it, but a contributor.

There is some kind of connection with protein kinase or cystein or somethings, that might link to men more than women as well. But I'm not a scientist. I just like to brainstorm.

My Dream at 2 a.m. (british accent)

I had a dream last night even though I didn't think I would. I thought I would sleep through the night but I woke up at a few minutes before 3 a.m. or 3 a.m. to a man with a British accent. I English, British, whatever. I don't know what's preferred.

I wasn't dreaming anything at all and I woke up out of sound sleep to some man with a British accent and it was so odd that I turned on my light to look at my watch and see the time. It wasn't a fake accent either. It was a real one.

It was basically like I dreamed it at the very last minute and then woke up and I woke so suddenly that it was like it had been said out loud, but I knew it was in my dream. But I hadn't had any dream, I just got some sentence from a guy.

And I can't remember exactly now. I didn't write it down and instead kept thinking it so I wouldn't forget. It was something like, "It is above the " or something, like directions for where something was. All it was was one full sentence. It didn't sound super stiff, it was more relaxed. Probably a proper accent, but relaxed, the tone wasn't frazzled or uptight.

So I woke up and looked at my watch and thought it was strange I woke up at 3 a.m., OH! and I just remembered! MY WATCH is still off.

So it wasn't 3 a.m.! It was more like...looking at the difference now...Okay, so my watch has been slowing down over time I guess because right now it is 8:30 a.m. or a few minutes past and my watch says 7:25 a.m. So basically, when I looked at my watch this morning, it was about 2 a.m. Or more exactly, a few minutes before 2.

Which is an odd time for me to wake up.

Then I fell back asleep and I woke up after having a dream and it was that I was living next door to a woman and I went to her house and started doing her hair for her. She was a larger black woman and her house was sort of untidy and in the dream I'd thought about helping out before but hadn't done it. So I went over and I was curling her hair with this large barrel curling iron. And then I was organizing her lipsticks or just moving them behind us, behind the vanity she had with the mirror. And when I started doing her hair again she had this sash across her chest and it had an "O" for Oliver on it and it was made out of paper and I unpinned it so I wouldn't mess it up. And then all of a sudden I said I needed some hair setting lotion and someone was going to get some kind of gel and I said no, get the hair setting lotion. I put the hair setting lotion in and we moved closer to the window where there was a city street down below and lots of trees. Then all of a sudden, I was going to part her hair and I wanted this one brush and the other women wouldn't give it to me so I was handed a cream colored comb. I didn't want the comb but I thought I'd try it and when I turned to her, her hair was covering her entire face and it looked like she had a giant wood carving on her head. It looked like a wood sculpture. A large one and it was high. So I didn't know where to make the part and then I did and her face was inside but I had pressed too hard with the comb and she said it hurt so I said I was sorry and now I knew where her head was so I could be more careful. And then I was sectioning off tiny long strands at a time and meticulously rolling them in the iron. It was going to take forever. Next thing I knew, she had a straw hat on her head with peach roses on the brim and she was grinning at me and I was still curling her hair even though she wouldn't take off the straw hat. She was sort of beaming. She loved her hat. And then I moved these necklaces out of the way because they were dangling down and one was maybe some kind of a gold chain, but the other two were on thin cords of some kind and at the end, some kind of rectangular pendant that was in the shape of dog tags. The pendants were, but they were on thin cords, one which was red or maroon colored. Then I was looking for music and I remember noticing a few cars that drove by and I thought about how I had always intended to do something for her but I never had time or forgot to make time and now I was able to do some things again. She was in a real salon chair too, in the dream. She had a real salon chair in her house in front of the vanity but it was pretty cluttered upstairs where we were. The point of my dream was that I was getting around to doing some volunteer work again.

What I do find strange is that I then go to CNN and there is an article about touching black women's hair. And the article is written by "Lisa Vespers, France" when the only person whose hair I've done is Lisa Thebault's. And she wanted me to braid her hair and gave me a comb.

Which sort of goes back to:

I want my son back and I do not want him subjected to what I've been subjected to. And it goes back to my ability, as a witness, of making a huge list of violations of the Geneva Convention, against me and my son, in my own country.

Why? because of who is currently running this country and I want them OUT.

I saw that footage of Joe Biden, approving U.S. government torture and persecution and violation of civil rights and said out loud, "I KNEW he was a crapper!"

I am, in fact, so upset, I just told my mom, "I am so upset I think I'm just going to take my next election ballot and vote all the way across the lines with Republicans. Just R, R, R, R, R, R, R, R."

And then I added, "Not saying Republicans are all good, but after what has been done with my son and I...I know it's not a good way to go about it maybe, not even knowing who these people are, but I'm about to do this, just to make a point. Voting R all the way across the line."

I swear my mother...I was looking up "Crapper" and the meaning for it and finding Thomas Crapper, inventor of the toilet, and I didn't say anything to my mom and she goes over to the toilet and starts scrubbing the toilet bowl.

That's our symbol, I guess, for waste management.

Yesterday we were coming back from church and my Dad joked to my mom that she should beat the brush when we drive into the property (long story) and I said, "Yeah, and while she's at it, she should shoot at my place with a pellet gun. Every single time she comes into the property, lean out the window and fire some rounds at my place." Someone asked, "Why?" and I said, "Oh, just to give the neighbors something to talk about." And then I started laughing, imitating the voice of an imaginary neighbor (like the snoop from Bewitched) gossiping to her other neighbor, "...And then every time she drives onto the property, the mother leeeeaaans out the window and starts shooting at her daughter's house!..."