Thursday, July 14, 2011

More Camels

I wonder what kind of sound camels make.

Last night, I was asking God a question again and turned randomly and for the 3rd time in a ROW, I got, once again: "Rebecah and the Camel Courtship". I think my eyes bugged out and I said to myself, "You've got to be kidding me."

I ask one question and it's Rebeccah and the Camel Courtship. I ask a second question (about me and my life, all the questions), and it's Rebecah and the Camel Courtship. I ask a THIRD question and it's Rebecah and the Camel Courtship.

And the thing is, there are some other stories about Rebeccah, in this book about women of the Bible, that don't involve the tale of "the camel courtship". There is the story of Rebeccah and her sons. There are different stories about her. But I keep landing on the same one, and not because it it creased that way because I flipped the book around and then didn't hold it and tried to find a part to turn to while it was lying down even. Every single time, right to the Camel Courtship.

So I was thinking about why this keeps being put to my attention and I think there is a small message in it.

I even said to God, I'm sorry if right now I'm asking this way, through some kind of a sign.

But then the story of Rebeccah and the Camel Courtship is about getting a sign. It's sort of the whole point to the story.

One man says he wants to find a wife for his son, and tells his servant where to go, and says he will release him from the oath if she doesn't want to go. In otherwords, if he doesn't come back with a wife, and it's not his fault, it's okay. But then the servant goes and it is almost the servant that is praying even more than his master and he is right in the middle of praying for a sign when what he is asking God for, comes around the corner and the conditions this man puts out to God, are fulfilled by her.

The servant is so shocked that he tells her family about what happened. Which is one example of when it's okay to share something God gives you and you don't have to keep it to yourself. So maybe he was sharing to see what they thought. And he told them how his master had sent him out to find someone from their own people, and how he was praying for a sign with certain conditions and how this woman then did everything he had just asked God about.

Her family said, "This is clearly of the Lord." And then they said, "Who are we to disagree?" or something like that. They also recognized and accepted the use of a sign and answer to prayer. I don't know if they just accepted it because it was from God, even if they didn't understand it, or what.

So then, they said yes, you can have her for the wife. But then they reconsidered and said let her stay with us 10 days and the servant said, "I have to go now!" and then they pulled her aside, and back then, not everyone was always given a choice I don't think, but they asked her and said, "Do you want to go?" and she said, "Yes".

If she had said no, the servant would have been released from the oath. I wonder if he would have even looked for anyone else or just returned and said, "I found her. She is the one, but she didn't want to leave." I don't know.

At any rate, she said yes and met all the conditions.

So in reading this several times, I think the point is about how God can speak through not just the master, but the servant, and also how God listens and cares about both and maybe the justification of asking for signs now and then. Not all the time, maybe, in moderation, but how God does use this sometimes to point something, or someone, out to those who are praying and seeking God's direction in earnest.

My questions were not totally set in stone or anything, I was just asking. But the first question was, out of these women can you show me one that will give insight into the kind of man I am supposed to be with? and I randomly got rebeccah and the camel courtship. Then I asked, "is there any woman who might help me know what kind of career I might look at?" rebeccah and the camel courtship. (which is what I wrote yesterday and it has nothing to do with a career). then, last night, "what kind of woman do you think I am God?" rebeccah and the camel courtship.

Which sort of doesn't make sense to me, but oh well. It's the same thing 3x/row. Asked with slightly different variations. Since I don't get it, I just figured it is only to draw my attention to the idea or principle behind getting a sign and who can receive this.

The part about the camels, well, it's that the servant left to find the woman with camels.

I guess the modern version of the story could be instead of real camels they are packs of camel cigarettes. Haha.
I tried to listen to Bizarre Love Triangle this morning bc it came to mind while writing this post, (New Order), but I can't find the button for the volume. SO!

Last night I listened to about an hour of classical music, first it was pieces played by the London Symphony and then it was "by Americans" as the announcer said. The one I liked most by London Symphony was "Symphony 6 in D Minor", hang on, will grab my notes...

Well I can't even read my own writing. It says:

London Symphony--
Collin Daws
Symph 6 in D minor

I know Sibabyous is spelled wrong but that's what it sounded like and I was going to look it up this morning. (Syb-BAB-ee-ous)

Right after this last piece by London Symphony, I then heard some quartets and then symphonies and Brahms.

I was trying to figure out what to study while I listened, and going through a bunch of papers.

No, it was Davis. Collin Davis. Not Daws. Okay, now that I have the name right I looked him up and it's Collin with 1 "l". Sir Colin Davis.

I thought it was sibabyous but it's Sibelius! Jean Sibelius, and I've never heard of him until last night but I liked it right away--enough that I had my pen ready and writing when the radio guy said what had just been played. I heard a couple of different things by London Symphony, but the one I got my pen out for was Symphony 6 in D minor.

And then I liked the Brahams.

I just looked up Dorian mode. Anyway, I enjoyed all the music and was still able to sort of think about, or focus on my papers. I still felt like I ended up with too many possibilities and prayed and asked God to help me figure out how to narrow things down or have a direct goal.

I like too many things. I want to know everything.
I could sense people praying or something when I was listening to the music. And I really noticed it strongly with Symphony 6 too, so maybe this partly influenced why I felt I had to write it down. I mean not really, it was the music for itself, but there was also a good positive energy while I listened to it. Which I actually notice now, at 9:39 a.m. as well.

Earlier last night I went to a worship gathering and while voices were imperfect, I felt the Holy Spirit there or was able to worship at least. Usually I just focus everything on God but last night I did something different...I combined praying and worship at the same time. As we sang a song, I put a country or people in my mind and sang it to God for them and with my spirit encouraging their people in God. I don't know how to describe it. I did some visualizing too, and then a couple things came to mind which I wasn't trying to visualize at all.

Not last night, but the night before, I was in bed thinking before I fell asleep and up on one arm, and all of a sudden, I almost felt like I was about to "see" something, in the mind's eye, and it sort of scared me and I decided I didn't want to know. So I shrugged it off.

But then last night, I was able to somehow combine some things and it felt good to do this. I need to think first, before I share more. Because none of it is a big deal, but I need to think a minute. Well, yeah, that's all. I thought about it and basically, just different people came to mind and different countries and then I visualized some of it (on purpose). And then I had this one guy come to mind twice when I wasn't trying to think of him. And then there was this one part where I deliberately visualized something but then the rest came through without my thinking of it. I guess I can share that much, this one part...we were singing a song about laying crowns down for Jesus and I visualized the rulers, presidents, and kings of every nation all around the world, doing this before the throne of God and then while I was visualizing all these crowns being presented, and falling off as people prostrated to worship God, I only visualized that much and then on the other end, out of the blue, I saw a hand pick one of the crowns up. Kind of like God or Jesus, on the other end, picking up a crown to receive one that was given back to Him. So the part I deliberately imagined or visualized was the casting down of crowns, but the part I didn't come up with on my own, was this other part where there was a response on the other end. And that's all I got. It was sort of like starting an idea and having someone else help out with the rest and I was just watching. And then I looked at my watch and my watch said 8:53 but it's slow and compared to real time, I guess a half hour off approximately so it was at around 9:22 p.m. or thereabouts, give or take 5-10 minutes.

Maybe then they all would have been picked up (hats, crowns, whatever) but I was so suprised to "see" this that I kind of opened my eyes and shook it off, kind of thing, like when I was about to see something a night earlier and I wasn't sure that I wanted to. This time though, maybe it was what they call a case of "imagination running wild" but whatever, that's what happened.

Oh, and then I prayed for a lot of things but the time when I noticed the most emotion was after I prayed for prisoners and then prostitutes.
I have some idea of a non-profit I want to start as soon as I can and it's for a kind of small one-room resource center for homeless where they can use a printer, fax, and business materials as well as phone and email and get a P.O. box or safety deposit box for a safe place to put things. One thing I found lacking with the homeless shelters is a place where anyone can actively try to put their life back together. It's impossible without the right tools and I would like to start something that gives people a chance to do this for themselves, one at a time.

Homeless people need an office and/or someone to assist with using office, mail, phone, and other communication and information technology to collect things they need to organize their lives.

You can't do this by running around from one place to the next and hoping a social worker (many don't have a social worker), pastor, or other person is going to do it for you. And without a safe place to store documents needed for getting work, SSI, a lawyer, back into college, medical records, whatever, it's not possible to try to get out of homelessness.

People need shelter and then they need a place to re-organize and put their lives back together and a lot of this has to do with being able to sit down in one place and get it all done and accomplish something.

You could have a cell phone but no money to fax. Or you could have a P.O. box but no place to store large X-rays or medical information. It's not possible to run around between a library and Fed-Ex and the post office and try to make calls while online at the public's too all-over-the-place. More gets done by being able to spend 8 hours in one place, calling, faxing, emailing, and assembling all documents for safe receipt.

Maybe it felt more impossible to me because I was also medicated and tortured all along the way while having to go through this, but I still think that it's a difference between running 10 errands with a car or running 10 errands by bus. The person with a car is going to get 10 errands accomplished in about 2 hours as opposed to the person going by bus who might take 2 days. I think people need an office they can call their own for awhile.

So I would like to have a small office set-up which is available for free to the homeless, and they have to sign in and it's for some kind of life reassembling work. Just 1 person at a time, and they get 1 full day of 8 hours (if they need that much time) to do whatever they need to do to put their lives together. After 1 full day, additional time worked out maybe some other way, but getting people in and out and making sure they have everything they need to get organized.

And I would have to find a way to get some grant money to help pay for costs of essential long-distance calls, use of computers and maintenance, and faxing costs. A do-it-all at ONE time kind of thing. No running around all over the place to access resources. It's a waste of time and keeps people homeless and doesn't do anything to help them on their feet and having some kind of person in a homeless shelter, with one office they "own" and hundreds of people, it doesn't go far. If people can sit behind the desk of their own office, and be able to do some concentrated work for themselves, they can get more done, faster, and it saves everyone money in the long run.

Someone can work on their new house loan, get an apartment and documents assembled for this, find out about their legal matter, check out rehab places, investigate options, apply for a FAFSA, call around and get the medical records they need to then take to the social worker or SSI, call for an attorney, "shop" for the right homeless shelter that will best suit their needs or families needs at the time, apply for work.

Something not limited to "work search only" or "medical application only". Something that allows them to do anything and everything they need to do in order to put things together for the next step.

My main restrictions would be "no porn" on the internet. I mean, what else is there to restrict? no doing drugs on-site (or deals) and no porn or abusive behavior and you have an office to yourself, and maybe lunch provided as well so if you don't want to take a break you don't have to. Just get it done all at once. And if 1 day isn't enough, maybe 2 days in a row, per person at a time. Haven't figured out that much yet.

And then I'll open another non-profit in a cute little house with gingerbread trim and call it:

"Annies Donuts & Hack Shack"

Just kidding.

Annie's Hack Shack flows better than Annie's Donut & Hack Shack.

Some cute little cottage with a bunch of nerds in thick glasses hacking back. If you want in, bring your glasses. And if you don't have, or need, glasses, we will provide some dummy ones for you.

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