I have no idea what to title this post. So I'm not giving it a title yet.
I read an article about finding the City of David yesterday, from CNN. July 14, 2011. I looked at the photo and some of the photo made me think of the stitching I'd done on my jeans. And I just thought about a lot of things. I don't know. Is it really true? The part about the fragment of a clay jar containing olive pits...I think that's what shocked me and I wanted to know if it was "planted" or was that really there? and what does it say on it? No one wrote about what is written. Who cares if it's "smaller than thought". I just read about Gideon. The least of the smallest tribe, and yet, he was "big".
And then I was reading about the Brooklyn boy and thinking the boy reminded me of my son, especially when I saw him walking with his arm straight out--that's the part that got me.
So last night I was sort of depressed and someone said watch a comedy but I listened to classical music a lot yesterday and then said I wasn't in the mood for a comedy really--it would feel wrong. So I put on the movie "The Edge". I didn't watch it until about 11:30 p.m. Before that, I listened to Christian music and then classical. And I guess I started laughing, for some reason, thinking about how I sometimes randomly do something that turns out to coincide with something and I haven't purposed this at all. It just happens. Tragic things sometimes, and then other times, comedic things. So what I was laughing about was how I had been on the bus on the way to the West Coast, and this guy from NY had been observing me. All I did the whole trip was sleep and dribble food all over the front of my shirt. I accidentally dribbled mayo from a sandwich onto the front of my shirt and then I had dribbled something else in the same way. I thought, "I look like clumsy". And then I rolled my hair in rollers, just to keep my vow to curl my hair and then I had wrapped it up with a black sweater into a huge turban on my head and slept again and then I piped up to this guy and said, turning to him with this huge turban wrapped around my head, as the bus pulled into another stop, "Where are we now?"
And he stared at me and said, flatly, just staring and not cracking a smile,
"India".
I thought he was kidding. I thought, "Is he making fun of the turban on my head?" and then I found out, no, we were really at a stop in a town called "Indio". And then, I think this guy just couldn't take it anymore. He was OUTTA there!
He got off in India. I don't know if that was his original plan. Maybe he took one look at me and thought, "Um, yeah. Okay."
I probably stared at him with these wide naive eyes and then with this ridiculous turban around my head on a public bus in broad morning (I had forgotten to do it while it was dark), and maybe he just felt like checking out.
So I didn't see him again.
Then I thought, "I wrapped my head into a turban right before we got to Indio? that's weird. I guess I was "too Indian" for him." I just popped up, from lying down to sitting up and looking at him, "Where are we?"
But I thought about this last night and at least it was something that made me laugh. And I laughed about something I had said to my Dad yesterday and he said, "People will really think you're crazy if they hear you say that" because I said, "He was mine FIRST!" and then something about him falling for ME harder. My Dad said something about how he'd missed out on a speaker because someone got there first and it was a great deal but something else would come along and I said, still on my own tangent, nonchalantly, sort of oh well, nose in the air: "Well, there's always divorce, but it's always sad when there are children involved." (they make it so hard for everyone. Well, do it your way. Que sera, sera. Next subject). So I was thinking last night about how I'd said, "He was MINE FIRST!" and thinking about how old he would have been if I'd had a jump-start. So I was laughing.
Anyway, I was making another list and thinking about direction and when I thought about this one article, I wrote on one paper, "Look up City of David" and something like "jar w/olives" and then drew a branch to the side. Then there a paper next to it, and I didn't think it over, just left everything to watch the movie.
But this morning I noticed because I wasn't paying attention to this at all when I decided to do a "draw" to find out what languages I should study. And I thought, "Well, I need other confirmations so I won't go by this alone" but I kept thinking there are so many languages I would be interested in learning more. But I can't do everything. So I wrote down languages on tiny pieces of paper and put them in a bowl. I prayed and then I mixed them up and thought, well I guess I'll grab my Bibles and put my hand on them before I draw. I had 2 Bibles to the side and I moved them and just sat down where I'd been the night before, at a table where I still had papers spread out all over. I put my left hand on my Bible and then into the bowl and I pre-decided I'd pick out 2. And I wrote down the languages twice each. I had written down, for languages: Russian, Chinese, Farsi, German, French, Spanish, Hebrew, Swedish, Danish. After I wrote them down I thought I should have added Japanese but I didn't think of it at the time. So I wrote them each down twice and the first one I wrote was Russian and I underlined it and was going to underline the others and then thought, "No, I'm just tearing them up into pieces anyway so I don't have to separate them with a line".
I mean, I wasn't putting my whole future into the idea, but just praying to see what God might show me.
So I put my hand on the Bible and then into the bowl, closing my eyes and then without looking at what was in my left hand, I put my right hand on my Bibles and then drew and then I looked at what was in my hands and then I set them down in front of me. I didn't think about where I put them down, I just did what was natural, and the one in my left hand went straight down to the left side and the one in my right hand went to the right side. I drew "Hebrew" in my left hand and "Russian (the one that was underlined)" in my right. When I set them down it was Hebrew Russian. And then I noticed "Hebrew" had been set down right under my words: "Look up City of David" and I thought, it sounds like "look it up" but it also sounds like, "look up, cheer up". The small paper obscured the next thing I'd written so all you could see was a "J" and then "w/ olives". The "ar" part of jar was obscured.
So for some reason, I thought this was interesting. Then I wanted to see if there was anything interesting to the Russian part to the right. So I looked and it was on a paper overlapping and right next to the other one and I thought, "It's the Russian one that's underlined" so I looked for something I had maybe underlined on the paper it was resting on and I had underlined the night before, "Biology".
I just went back out to check out and make sure I wrote this down correctly. I was going to get more coffee too and I forgot what I was doing and ended up slicing up 3 pieces of apple instead. I was walking out, eating the apples and remembered I had meant to get coffee.
So I hadn't touched where I laid the paper and it actually says, "J" and then "olive pits" above the Hebrew word and then to the side beneath this "pray" shows (underneath it's a note "prayed") and then inbetween the 2 pieces of paper "Hebrew" and "Russian" the number "3" shows. And then right below this 10:2 (part of another number, for times I wrote down the night before when something happened...will write about this next). And then it says "until 11:00 christian music" below "pray".
The "Russian" word is next to my paper with course offerings and it's next to psychology and children's education stuff but then what I had noticed that's underlined above is I had underlined "biology" for some reason.
Anyway! The night before, I kept noticing this line my mother wrote after getting a real estate call and she had said out loud, "The husband is Jewish and the wife is Christian". And what I noticed was her note on the counter that said, "Jewish-Christian wife". And I'm just writing this down because it came to mind for some reason when I saw Hebrew Russian.
So I then prayed to God knowing already that I this isn't hard and fast what I'll study but give me confirmations in other ways and help me to decide and then I was thinking about how the only language offered online is German and then I said I was going to draw 5 more and see if there are 2 that match. If I get both of the same language. And I drew 2 of the same kind, German & German. But I take all things into mind. Just things to consider.
I sometimes feel guilty, like if I'm drawing straws, I should go with it, but different things for different situations and all things being equal, I said ahead of time, just point something out to me, something you want me to ponder. And other things will come along naturally I'm sure.
This next thing is something I got in an "image" or impression:
I was praying and trying to think of things to come to mind for prostrate problems. I started writing down words I got that came to mind and made a list. I then looked things up to compare and see if they've already been found to have uses. They did. Many did. The one that I saw most clearly, in a picture, was of the bark of wood. I saw something that looked like bark from a tree and I wrote down, "cedar" and then "wood bark" next to it. One of the first things that came to mind, not knowing about prostrate things, was "astringent" and then "nettle". And then I read and found out stinging nettle or nettle is used in Europe as a remedy. And I found out cedar has antiseptic properties for urinary issues and that bark from an African tree is also used as a prescription in Europe. I really saw, in a picture image, the bark of a tree. How this is possible? I have no clue, but it was a good match for the solutions. So I just wrote a lot of things down for ideas to look into. I had my list of my ideas when I prayed to the right and then I looked things up and started making a list of what were matches.
I'll grab my list and write down what I got.
I think the only totally "photo-or-video quality" image I got was of the bark when I was praying about naturopathic prostrate remedies.
But I had another odd impression that was almost photo like. I was lying on the floor with my eyes closed and I was on my back with my feet on the heater or something, and prayed briefly about the man God wants me to be with and it wasn't very long or specific but when I was praying, and I'm NOT saying this was of "the man" but I saw a man also on his back with 2 steel balls in his hands. Um. That sounds really wrong. But anyway, he was excersizing with them. They were these round solid steel balls and one was in each hand and his arms were down to the ground and then extending with the balls in hand and then lowering, and pushing the balls up and then back down, and pushing them up and then back down. I don't know what kind of weight it is, that's in a ball shape. But it was a weight. Why is someone smiling? It's 11:22 a.m and I sensed someone smiling. Smiling about this weight. I have to look it up right now.
Um. Just typed in a google search for "steel ball weights" and I get stuff for S&M. No! I'm talking about some kind of gym weight, steel balls. I'm trying to look them up bc I don't know why they would be used instead of other kinds of weights, with a bar inbetween the balls or weights.
I thought at first, maybe it came to mind because I'm lying down, but I've never used these kinds of weights before. I just saw this man raising up steel (or iron) balls and lowering them in a work-out. I didn't see face or anything, it was more like I was almost doing it myself but it was someone else and it was a man.
Okay, I just looked up medicine balls, kettlebells, baoding balls, and shot put balls and what I thought I saw was the size of shot put balls and used as weights. I didn't see handles and they weren't two in one hand. There was one steel/iron ball in each hand. But anyway, it was just a flash I got while I was praying. So it might be a close variation. I am positive I caught a glimpse of a man who really was doing this or does this but I can't confirm it has anything to do with the context of my prayer about the person I will be with.
Okay, I wrote down the time and here is my note that I made (now that I took the piece of paper off of the paper (my language pieces)). Oh great. I guess underneath the "Hebrew" word the rest of the "pray" line is this, "Prayed about husband and saw balls".
If anyone grabbed my notes and read them without asking me about it they'd have the totally wrong idea. The balls were steel/iron balls. and then beneath this I wrote:
"8:30 or so, man w/steel balls in hands lifting them."
"10:23 strong energy".
(I have to say, if it really is about my intended husband, I guess it's a good sign that I saw balls. You know. Not too shabby for symbolism. Steel or iron balls?)
And then I had written down some christian songs that came up:
"All I'm longing for is more of your touch"
"Fill the Earth" 10:40 p.m.
"Jealous God"
"Amazed at what you did"
"Strong and mighty tower"
11-on classical
I listened to a lot of classical yesterday. I liked Handel's trio sonata in G major. something about Tanenbaum concerto w/2 flutes, harpsichord. This one by a Swedish composer called "Vetern" was interesting in the impressions I got. I might have the info wrong. Something about "Garvo symp. "Vetern" or Weturne? something like that, Poem, Swedish composer, 1949). It sounded like a great ship on the ocean. And there were birds swooping in and out and this huge ocean scene and I saw the front of a great ship coming torwards me while I heard it, at one part. A large ocean liner, military ship, or something. Saw it head on. And I wondered if "Vetern" stood for Veteran and if it was indeed about ships at sea. Because I saw these things or had these ideas before I heard what the title was. And it was right after I had drawn a book at my parents house called "Brave Men".
It was at random. "Brave Men" by Ernie Pyle. New York, Henry Holt and Company. Copyright, 1943, 1944 by Scripps-Howard newspaper alliance. The preface says, "In solemn salute to those thousands of our comrades--great, brave men that they were--for whom there will be no homecoming, ever."
On the opposite side of the page:
"I heard of a high British officer who went over the battlefield just after the action was over. American boys were still lying dead in their foxholes, their rifles still grasped in firing osition in their dead hands. And the veteran English soldier remarked time and again, in a sort of hushed eulogy spoken only to himself, "Brave men. Brave men!" --From the author's HERE IS YOUR WAR.
On the very back at the end of the book is a sticker in red and white that has a stork reading a book and it says "Louis Jeffrys, Palo Alto-Burlingame."
On the front page which says "Brave Men" there is a wreath with one branch on the left that is laurel and on the right I didn't know what it was so I just looked it up because it had acorns on it. The acorn wiki page says acorns are from the oak tree. The laurel branch and oak branch are tied together into a wreath encircling the title.
(I guess I feel ridiculous for not knowing that acorns are from oak trees).
Yesterday I prayed and decided in trying to figure out what to do with career and life and just having thought it might generate ideas, I prayed and then decided to do a random book draw without looking and just see what I got. I don't need to write all the titles out but I heard this song after I got some books and wondered if it was about Veterans.
I listened to hours of classical actually, don't have time now to write down all the titles.
Lighter in note, ideas I wrote down for prostrate stuff:
safflower?
red beet juice
sarparilla?
astringent
nettle
lemon
cayenne
pumpkin
cedar? woodbark
violets-viola (just thought of this as an ornamental and nice touch)
cider
baking soda
dhea?
(saw echinacea but didn't write it down, essential fatty acids came to mind)
**********
after checking with a book found:
cernilton is a special flower pollen extract
black radish, dandilion, red clover
echinacea, buchu, carnivora, goldenseal, pau d'arco, suma, damina, licorice root, gravel root, hydrangea, oat straw, parsley r root,(saw), uva ursi, yarrow
******************
OHMYGOSH.
I just found out violets might be of use in prostrate stuff.
It's so weird, I put the link above. I should put the link to the cnn article really, with such a title for this post, but it's interesting. I thought it was strange that violets came to my mind when I prayed about prostate stuff, but who knows!
German scientists have found a violet link. Which is sort of hilarious. I can just see all these men's prostate meds with violet decor on the label. What's even weirder is that my mother is wearing this color today and I didn't know it until she came into the house. They had no idea what I'd been writing down the night before. I was in a separate house. And I just looked up these articles and she's wearing this color. Not only that, violet color with green in it, like a violet plant. Wasssss going on?!
Here's an article I just found, supporting baking soda. I didn't know why I had that idea either. I figured it had to do with alkaline or acidic conditions but I wasn't sure which way prostate stuff goes. http://www.naturalnews.com/027481_prostate_cancer_baking_soda.html
****************
I looked up double and triple majoring. I really enjoy so many things I'm going to go for more than a single major.
I had someone bring up "epidiemology" and I said, "What's that?" and looked it up and I think it's something I'm interested in. Epidemology is the study of disease or health problems occuring in patterns or in different locations, parts of the world, and other groups. I thought about it and realized that off the top of my head I could think of several things I've done on my own, or researched, out of curiosity, that fit this. Even my blog post and research on sectoral heterochromia is a form of epidemology, genetic epidemology (in some cases). It's not just about disease but conditions I think. And then I independently did research for diabetes, finding out what countries have lowest occurance and what their diets are; I did it with cancer in Wenatchee, WA and kidney stones rates; etc.
So I'm thinking about getting a doctoral in it but still pursuing other interest for elementary teaching or finishing English Literature, and then I'm getting a degree hopefully in Information Technology.
So I'm very seriously considering double or triple majoring and then pursuing a doctoral program immediately after getting my bachelors. I could even teach for something else while I get my doctoral degree.
Still figuring it out, but the main toss-up is what science out of the sciences to pursue. I had English lit with environmental science minor before and now I'm sort of thinking of either psychology (open my own practice) or epidemology (research work).
And creative writing will always be something I do. If I could design my own degree I would include a lot of medieval poetry and English lit with a little Russian lit smattering. Art history too but music history I can get through listening to classical radio and checking things out.
I think a degree in Information Technology is important, or Computer Science, for being able to network and know my technology and how to store info.
The reason I consider Elementary Ed. is because I have so many interests, I could incorporate all things for children and cover a broad range of subjects by making it challenging, inspiring (hopefully) and satisfy my own intellectual curiosity as well. Also, I'm good at figuring how kids work best, on an individual level, and what motivates them.
So I'm thinking about a lot of things.
I can always get a law degree at anytime, and I can always start a business or non-profit and I've already done this for myself in the past, so I'm not worried about taking business except for making business law, stocks & bonds classes.
My skill sets are with these things and writing a grant is also on my list, but my desires are to paint more.
I wish I didn't enjoy so many things, but there are definitely things I know I don't want to do or study. This one man asked me, for example, about Marine Biology and no, I can't imagine myself majoring in this because it would be all underwater stuff, and microscope work. I don't want to use a microscope for most of my work. If I have to take a look now and then, fine, but not every single day. I don't care what ameoba is floating next to the other ameoba--well, with regard to marine plants and things...maybe it would be different if it affected humans. And I'm very exact and exacting about legal matters, and getting details down perfectly, but if I slop a little for a lab, I don't want to care. I don't want perfect chemistry measurements because I'd rather do some experimental and creative cooking than perfectly measured stuff. I guess if I had to, to figure something out, exactly, I would do it. I would do it to satisfy my curiosity and get a solution to something.
I think where being exacting is important, with regard to experiments and creativity, is if you do something by mistake that's cool but need to recreate it. Like with art photo. I did a lot of creative work in art photo but I never recorded the apperature and details. however, when I got an outstanding photo, I then thought, "I need to know what I did here so I can try to do it again!" so in this way, I see the importance of being exact or recording and documenting things, in detail.
I'm a brainstormer though, not a mathematician or statistician. I want to think of the ideas and have someone else make the graft or chart to prove things.
I read some articles about double and triple majors and those who triple major are very excited about it and those who don't are down on them, but maybe they're just jealous. Some claim it looks like overachieving but most people who do it simple want options and have a lot of interests. I don't know that I would go that far. I might only double major. I guess it would depend upon what I narrow it down to and where I want to go with it, ultimately.
I have to make up for lost time for one thing.
I really love art and writing but some of these things can be done without a degree in it. Self education is possible. I will always be a writer. I will probably write a book sometime. For me, I don't want a business degree--I can figure it out by doing it, and have already done it. Next time, I would have to know more about legal structure and tax stuff and that's about it. I think information technology helps with ones career no matter what you do, but especially if you're doing research or want to be entrepreneurial.
With languages I don't know what to do. I wouldn't mind knowing a little about many of them. But I have to focus on a few. I hear after you've got about 7 down, the rest is a piece of cake. I don't know. Maybe it's true. Some people do this. I won't be one to try, but I'm curious about what's possible for people.
We only use a fraction of our brains.
I was thinking, even vocal disabilities can be worked around. Edith Piaf, for example. It requires learning the new language. And then interpreting it through the soul.
Friday, July 15, 2011
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