Sunday, August 31, 2008

Mr. Brightside

The Killers really have some creative videos. I was just watching the one for "Mr. Brightside" again and the dance sequences in this one are amazing. Especially the section towards the end, where she ends up splayed on the floor. Really beautiful. Nice costumes too. I really don't know what's better here--the music or the art direction in the video. I'd like to know who did the art direction, frankly. They should have as much credit as the band.

The frontman is such a performer too. In this one and in the "Read My Mind" one, he really nails the emotion.

He's not so good on the "Romeo & Juliet" cover. He should stick to his original materials, where his heart is. At least with this cover, it just doesn't work for me at all.

I just looked up the Art Direction. It was Laura Fox, and I guess she was mentioned in the line-up for Best Art Direction in 2005 MTV awards. Also, I think that video won something for Best New Artist, which may well be the same Laura Fox. I'll have to look her up.

Further Dialogue With Shit-mail Commentor

Post a Comment On: Cameo Garrett
"More Shit-mail From Wenatchee CPS Supporter"
6 Comments - Show Original Post Collapse comments
Anonymous said...
Since when have I defended the "department"? You say I support CPS, when have I said anything about supporting CPS? Again, another assumption. I support well established daycares, and it bothered me that you lumped them into one group, which is the basis for my comment.

August 29, 2008 12:07 PM

Anonymous said...
Just for the record I have my master's in early childhood education and special education so I do actually know what I'm talking about.

August 29, 2008 12:09 PM

Anonymous said...
I don't post my name because of the way you have treated people who try to work with you as evidenced by your blog. You show yourself to be unstable and very unreasonable in how you turn on a dime to destroy anyone's credibility who doesn't agree with you. Don't worry, this will be my last post, I was just trying to find out more about why you were so upset about the daycare your aunt put your son into.

August 29, 2008 12:17 PM

Mama said...
My response to the first comment:

You defend the department when you mock me and take sides. You started out your entire commentary with "Hold the phone!" and then went on to mock what you tried to cast as inconsistencies in my statements. Then, later, you come back here and try to play victim.

It's fine to support well established daycares. However, you haven't done your research about daycares and what is good for children. Obviously, or you would have knowledge of all the studies which state even the BEST daycares do not compare to nanny or parent-child care, especially for the young, and most especially, for those young who have already been traumatized.

August 31, 2008 3:34 PM

Mama said...
My Response To Comment Two:

I'm actually glad you have mentioned your credentials or what you believe to be your qualifications. However, while a basic college education, even MASTERS should say something, so often it does NOT. You are studying whatever materials your professor puts in front of you, and may or may not be an independent thinker. I had a friend who went to a very good private college, and graduated with decent grades, who couldn't spell or construct a sentence to save her life.

Sometimes education or a degree only means you did the busywork and didn't split hairs with your professor. It is a sign of being able to complete something, so I definitely think it demonstrates diligence. But diligence is not the same thing as intelligence, and it is certaintly NOT the same thing as intellectual curiosity or a sign of the ability to think independently.

It sounds to me like you went to college and left your studies there. You didn't research things about daycares and children and toddlers, out of your own curiosity. You just did what you were told to do, got your degree, and started working, without thinking any further.

That's fine if you just want to be a regular old daycare worker or supporter. If you want to hold an intellectual debate, that's not enough. If you want to claim to know something about child development, and yet you don't even know these basic studies, it's an embarrassment, I would think, not only to your profession, but to the university where you got your degree. I don't even want to ask where that was. It certaintly wasn't an Ivy League education. At least I hope not, but even the Ivies have their failings.

If you want to be good at what you do, you need to be a reader. You need to come up with questions, and be willing to do the research and scour all articles and studies, with an objective mind, to uncover the truth. To acquire knowledge, one must become a social scientist.

I hope you will start reading some of these articles. Also, I encourage you to take a look at some of Scotland's ideas for children and welfare support to mothers of very young children, specifically, policies proposed by the Minister for Children's whatever. She based her ideas, which haven't passed yet, on the studies already done about young children and how they become "at risk" when they are placed into daycares. Which is why she advocates keeping the children with one parent until they are at least 3 years old.

I'm sure you know nothing about this either.

Funny, how I'm the mother whom the state claims does not know how to meet her son's needs. They do not know best.

Do I? Not only do I probably have a broader base of knowledge from which I've formed sound conclusions, I am absolutely the best caregiver for my son, and have known him personally longer than anyone else, and I am more hands on with him than anyone has been after me.

August 31, 2008 3:45 PM

Mama said...
Response To Comment Three:

I am fine with people not posting their names. It's nice, actually, and allows others more freedom. But when I get shit-mail from people like you, one would think you'd like to back yourself up with a name.

As for your assessment of my "showing myself to be unstable and very unreasonable.." because of the way I shot your TOTALLY FALSE theories down, you have a problem taking what you give. If you are going to criticize, learn to handle a smart counter-critique.

Finally, you were not "just trying to find out" why I was upset. If your intentions had been good, you would have asked a simple question, NOT started out by mocking me from the first with your "Hold the phone!" comments and claim I contradicted myself.

You made yourself sound like an ass, and now you're trying to make yourself sound like a victim.

I'm SUCH a bad, bad, woman. Such an obnoxious threat to Daycares Everywhere.

What are you? The Daycare Director of the State? I stand by the name I've assigned you. If you won't give yourself a name, I will. It's "Bitch".

August 31, 2008 3:50 PM

My Afternoon Activities

I put my running shoes on hold and signed up for a running group in D.C.

I went to several bookstores in town and familiarized myself with their books and I skimmed through several books about Diana. My impression? she had a bunch of vultures capitalizing on their imagined "friendship" with her. I have some theories about Diana after some of what I've read, not only about her alleged "mental illness" but about who she was afraid of before she died.

This woman had circumstantial depression and problems, but removed from the bizarre stressors she was under, there was nothing wrong with her. This woman was incredibly sane considering what was going on. At any rate, I am going to write my little psychoanalysis and impressions after I get to a better wi-fi station.

I still need to do my TTSOML posts too. But I took some time for myself today instead, and read books and listened to music. Sade, Tori Amos, and yes, Def Leppard. I really feel like singing tonight. Or right now. I wish I had a gig. I've responded to some Craigslist ads for musicians and need to make some contacts to get the art/music thing going here.

I also found a couple of other things in common with Di while reading. She and I both broke our arms as little girls, though I don't know which one she broke. I broke my left arm. She broke hers while riding horses and I broke mine while swinging from a tree. And she and I both used Winnie-the-Pooh stationary and cards for notes to our kids. Also, she co-slept with her sons.

This is a woman who knew her stuff. She educated herself on the things she wanted to know about. She wrote a dossier on landmines, doing her own research and proving the British government was profiting from not cleaning up landmine sites or something like that. I, on the other hand, wrote a "dossier" on the Catholic church and vicarious liability of the Archdiocese to abuse committed by parish priests and monastic clergy.

She believed it was possible for doctors to cover things up, and I have personally HAD this happen, and live to even talk about it, even if I have to fight being discredited by crap about mental illness. I had my medical records stolen, and then totally "re-written" and I even had a false report of drug use added to my records where no one told me about it, and I found out about it later, after signing to obtain my records. At that time, it was impossible to have tested positive for drugs because I never used them, and never had in my entire life. Not until after my son was taken away from me did I try a drug, and it was pot, and I only tried it to see if it helped migraines. That's very recent. Prior to that, there was nothing. But my medical records were being rewritten by hospital doctors whom I later found out were quite often members of the Cahtolic church, and whose hospital had Catholic affiliation. I hadn't known until later, until my records got screwed up.

Besides which, how can anyone say Diana was "paranoid" when she had countless incidents of people accessing her phone conversations and other things? That's not paranoia. That's being rational, given the circumstances. One of her first lovers was killed "accidentally" in a collision after he had threatened to expose his affair with Diana. Diana believed he was assassinated, basically. Maybe he wasn't, but I don't think she should be written off so hastily. It's claimed the woman recounted her beliefs (Di did) after some friend pointed out the unliklihood that a 17 year old would be an accomplice. Give me a break. 17 year olds, throughout the history of time, have been known to do things. 18 year old men go to fucking war and kill people all the time. You just fucking never know. I'm not saying it's very likely, but until proven absolutely impossible, it's not an impossible theory. Perhaps somewhat improbable, but many of Di's predictions came true. She knew something was up. I trust her to have been in touch with her instincts, even if she couldn't exactly put her finger on what was happening. This woman was totally trashed, moreso than most people who even like her imagine.

I also want to look into some of her religious connections more closely, or those who were connected to her and were religious.

Diana, My Kindred Spirit

I am becoming somewhat fascinated by Diana, Princess of Wales. This has come late in life, as I was never interested in her for her celebrity before. I've become interested late, because of my own life I think. Obviously, I'm no princess, but there are some commonalities at the most basic levels, regardless of position and class, and I can relate. It's almost uncanny. As I've read more I've found there are some similiar basic background things.

I am second born. My parent's first child was a boy, who died a few days after birth.
I've always had family issues and not gotten along well with my mother.
I wanted to be a ballerina when I was younger, but my family didn't support it and asked me to take up piano instead.
I've been put on a pedestal and had my naivitee crushed. I've felt suppressed by family and society and the basic role of women and expectations.
I really enjoy people.
I worked with children primarily before having my own son.
I gave my son a nickname of little bear, or bear, and found wombat is also a nickname for a "bear"
I have tested the same in personality analysis through Meyers-Briggs. INFP first in life and then changed over to an ENTP. I've always been almost 100% "N" and borderline E-I. Somewhat borderline F-T but more T now, and I've always been strongly "P".
I have always loved the water and water sports in particular.
I believe it is more of an "embarrassment" to be uncharitable than to be undignified.
I can laugh and make others laugh in the middle of my own adversity.
I am strongest and step up to the plate as a general, but only in sudden emergencies.
I am creative and very smart, but taken for being airheaded or less intelligent, at first glance, than is true.
I've been harassed and pushed to the edge and had others try to blame me for their problems.
I've been slandered as mentally ill. I've had others try to push me towards the brink, to justify their conclusions and discredit me.
I've been considered a threat and a danger to some in very high positions of power and authority.
I love to dance.
My son is my life, and who I consider to be my "family", and yet I've had others try to use my son and keep him from me, and attempt to alienate his affections from me, for their own ends.
I'm an affectionate and hands-on mother.
I used to read my mothers trashy romance novels, Harlequin romances, when I was a little girl (which probably disillusioned me about romance from an early age) ha!
I've had people manufacture untruths about me and been defamed.
I've had a suicide attempt after being harassed by others for years.
I've felt completely alone and isolated from the support of family and yet found the most random kindnesses from strangers, new friends, and acquaintances.
I've known when I'm being followed or am under surveillance and known it is not "delusion".
I became involved with clergy of the Roman Catholic Church and considered, seriously, conversion.
My role model was Mother Theresa.

I believe Diana was highly intuitive and picked up on something prior to her death. I do not believe her death was an accident, given all of the things I've gone through myself and the extent to which I know people can cover things up. Hatred, for whatever reason, leads to terrible things. I believe in Diana and what she's said because I can empathize and relate a little bit. This woman was extraordinarily intelligent but this was almost entirely disparaged by the media. Her grades in school didn't reflect her intelligence, creativity, intuition, or wit. She was probably just always more interested in socializing than studying, which isn't a reflection of intelligence but of boredom. She also had a lot of energy and needed to be active and expressed her intelligence in action.

At any rate, I know millions of women relate to her. I just find her to be a little bit of a kindred spirit, even late, even in passing I guess. Hmmm. Kindred "spirit". That said, I'll have to read the next Morton book. Because I'm curious about what she did next, even as I contemplate my own moves.

And I really do need to finish the TTSOML posts but I'm too strtessed lately. I'll try to write more later today after I read a little bit. I left off with the lawyer for the Archdiocese setting up a meeting for me, or trying to, with the Portland Archdiocese. So I need to continue. A lot of things happened after that. It's truly incredible.

Saturday, August 30, 2008

My Son Is At "Bible Camp"--Violation Of Religious Beliefs

I called my grandmother who told me she called my parents and my mother told her the reason no one is answering is because my son is at a BIBLE CAMP.

They were answering the phone this morning, and supposedly I was to call when my aunt was "there" and my son was at the house at 8 a.m., according to Dahlia, who was at the house.

Now I'm being told my son is at a BIBLE CAMP and cannot be reached. No one told me they were taking my son to a BIBLE CAMP and no one gave me a number where he could be reached, when they knew ahead of time I wouldn't be able to contact them.

At this point, this is absolutely and completely against my religious wishes. I do NOT want my son at a fucking BIBLE CAMP with my aunt or her family.

They have disregarded my son's needs, probably assuming his traumatic response to what they've done to him can be "healed" at Bible Camp, where he will only be frightened and wonder where his mother is.

I do not want my son raised as a fanatic charismatic fundamentalist and this is absolutely contrary to my own religious and spiritual beliefs. This is violation of the right to religious freedom, and my right to parent as I believe is appropriate. It is also a gross railroading and abuse of due process that any Contested Sheltercare was won to begin with, without anyone defending ME or, by proxy, my SON'S rights.

This is a prime example of how religious fanaticism is used to replace the extraordinary love and attentions and care of a mother who put her son and his needs first, who refused to put religion and superstition and hysteria over his needs.

No one gave me any notice my son was going to be at a Bible Camp and couldn't be reached.

This will only be further fuel to the fire when I file a lawsuit, and any counseling records can also be used against those medical professionals who have put my son in this position, whom I still have grounds for medical malpractice against.

Oliver's Needs

After 3 days of trying to reach my son, and posting these posts, I called again and the last 3 calls, I reached the answering machine, not the People PC machine, or a busy signal either. My roommate is here and has seen my several attempts. THIS time I did lose my patience. I know my son needs to hear from me and he should be talking to me.

It seems everyone is putting their vendetta and antipathy or animosity before my son's needs. No one is considering the feelings of my son, who wants to talk to his mother, and who needs her.

I have had zero response from the Douglas County court, even after I filed a request for regular visitation as well.

Going To Counseling For Documentation

I have made several attempts to call my son and I constantly get a machine that says someone is on the computer or I get a busy signal. They've already told me that my number is displayed to whomever is on the computer at the time, so they know I'm calling. They've said, in the past, they'll get off the phone if I'm trying to call in, but for over 3 days no one has made an attempt to connect me.

My guess is that it's because my son isn't doing very well, and I always pick up on this over the phone, and can tell. I knew something was going on even before my son was thrown into daycare suddenly. He wasn't okay and I think he was trying to tell me. My guess is that he'd already been put into the daycare to be "transitioned" in and this was affecting him.

I know what my son's needs are, better than anyone, and he needs me.

At this point, I'm going to counseling just to develop a record for a civil rights lawsuit against the state, of how their actions have affected me and my son.

I have already made contact with someone for this purpose, and all I know is that I have damages and my son has damages, and I have to have a paper record and documentation that what CPS has done has harmed us and was wrong.

Not only that, I've started telling some people who know me, in D.C, what's been going on, and they are in shock. They cannot believe anyone would ever claim I'm mentally ill and they see me every single day, working with the public, and after work as well. I also have lived with roommates who are co-workers and all of them know there's nothing wrong with me. So when they hear what's going on, they absolutely believe me, more than others who aren't around me and don't know me well.

All of these things, I plan to use in the future to prove I was railroaded and that my son has suffered most.

I still don't have discovery from the state either.

When I say it would be fun to be a diplomat, I think about my relations with my family, CPS, and others who have done harm. It doesn't make me sound very "diplomatic" and yet I've had some supporters say to me, my anger over what's been done and is being done, is justifiable. I don't have irrational and misplaced anger. People do things I "don't like" or "don't agree with" all the time. I have relationships fall through, like anyone; I have romantic feelings and interests unreturned; I've been fired...I've had all the usual disappointments and none of these things upsets me. I'm extremely patient and I don't turn on people because of their issues with me or because something doesn't go the way I want it to.

What I DO have a problem with, is the injustice and harassment I've been through, specifically by the RCC and their lawyers and some of their more fanatical followers, and those I've reported for misconduct, who have attempted to retaliate. As for my family, they just have always had their own issues, and my problems with them are nothing new and my best friends know this. When the state tries to align my family to their agenda, this is disturbing to me because they use their understanding of my family's religious beliefs to try to influence them against me. They try to tell my family maybe I could be "helped" and that it's a mental illness, and yet they know there is no mental illness, and that they are the ones who are sick and cannot stand to be exposed. If I write scathing and mean attacks, when I do, it is justified and only after extreme disrespect and harassment by others, and especially, when it involves my son.

These people are sick and there is nothing to cure them. Nothing but a lawsuit to at least hold them accountable.

In the meantime, my roommate is telling me, sitting across from me on the couch, that she will vouch for how many times I've tried to reach my son and call him.

I am so sorry for my son and what has been done to him.

Copy Of Email To Holly Avila

Phone Visitation‏
Sent: Sat 8/30/08 6:13 PM

I have tried several times, in the last 3 days, to call Oliver. I've called morning, afternoon, and night, and never been able to get through.

Your phone always says you're on People PC and that someone is on the computer, and then I call again and again and no one gets off, or it rings busy. The busy signal has happened several times.

Finally, I got through this morning at about 8 a.m. your time and Dahlia told me you refuse to allow Oliver to speak to me unless you're home/there.

There has been no court order from a Judge stating you need to be there for a phone visit. Obviously, you don't care enough to be at home with him, and put other people in charge of him all the time, which I've not had any way of screening, and there is no reason for my missing a visit with him because of whatever your issues are.

You have become obsessed with my son, and jealous of his mother. I heard Pablo protest as you hung up on me and Oliver when Oliver was trying to speak to me. I heard what he said and you refused to take my call when I tried to call back.

From the beginning, you wouldn't give Oliver photos of me and only after I complained to CPS did you even put ONE photo of me on the wall for him to see.

You claim you have no interest in taking him and yet you don't keep me informed about any of his appointments and never have. You have railroaded me, his mother, for your own agenda and wish to adopt him, which you expressed to CPS in the beginning and which CPS told the Judge was the case in the last hearing.

If you cared about Oliver, and about keeping the bond between us, you would try to repsect my wishes and ask me what my values and beliefs are regarding certain things.

You have not acted as any member of a "family" I'm related to, and you are a religious fanatic who puts her own draining expectations on everyone else.

I have a right, and Oliver has a right, to have conversations with me, and you have attempted to obstruct this right and yet claim you're on my side at the same time.

I had people, in the very beginning, question your motives, and I think you are making it plain what your agenda has been from the first.

I would never want you for a mother for my son, and my son already has a mother. He does NOT need you. You had zero interest in visiting him before and made zero effort to be involved in his life earlier, when I invited others to be involved. I have email from your own daughters, expressing concern over your mental state, and your anger issues and instabilities, which, one of your daughters hoped, was just a symptom of "menopause". You are in no position to watch my son, and obstruct his bond with me. You have also demonstrated an inability to hold your cool while talking to me and to keep Oliver from hearing your vile arguments and yelling. Your own husband knows what you are like. It is a wonder to me that he stays with you.

All for Jesus, I guess.

I'm posting this because for some reason, I'm not able to get through by phone, and haven't been able to talk to my son for days. I am NOT okay with that, or with your behavior.

Also, for the record, I have left about 3 messages asking if you will call my phone when it's okay to call, and then I'll call right back, on my cell phone, using my minutes, and you've not even tried to do this.



Stalker Bitch Watch:

Maryland MZX 790, white sedan.

Perhaps I should start posting the license plate numbers of the bitchy women who I sometimes have stalking me. It's one thing to have someone going around the block a few times, and something else when they make direct eye contact with you and say things, or roll their eyes.

Music Today

I'm listening to Indigo Girls' Romeo & Juliet song again. Over and over. Moving onto Def Leppard again. Love "Pour Some Sugar On Me". Onto Warrant's "Cherry Pie" and then next, I plan to listen to AC/DCs "You Shook Me All Night Long". Then maybe more Def Leppard.

Oh oops, I skipped AC/DCs song to Cake's "Short Skirt/Long Jacket". This is hilarious. I just watched the YouTube video and the one submitted is from bmg, however, it's overlaid with interviews from people passing by, who are asked what they think of the song. So I don't know if that's the real video or not, but it's really funny.

I have officially had the worst Chinese food in D.C., complete with watery sweet & sour sauce with floating thin carrots and pickles for the veggies in the sauce. I've had really good Chinese here and will have to get that number again.

I'm trying to get into the mood for writing a TTSOML post.

My Nightcap and Morning After

I rounded out my night, after blogging last night, dancing at a dive. It was actually very good. I was so relieved. I stepped out, wanting to dance, at about 1:30 p.m. and went to a place nearby. It was packed. I was overdressed, in a dress. Someone paid me a compliment about my dress. They were drunk already so I didn't think they'd mind when I said, "I'm a little overdressed I think, but I'm not wearing a bra, so that's sort of underdressed, right?" They laughed.

I finally found a good dancing dive. I liked the music at this other place but there weren't a lot of people when I was there so I'll have to check it out again, later. The other place reminded me of a dive in Portland, Oregon that I used to go to. Not as much alchohol sloshed on the floor though, and not as much techno-electronica. A couple of guys kept trying to dirty dance with me and I was trying to dance on my own, and some big guys stepped in and blocked the ones who were all over. It was nice. There was a woman there, with her friend, who embodied the dancing spirit. I couldn't even see her face because it was covered with her long bangs and hair and glasses. They were there purely for dance and music and good times. Then there was an attempt to form a breakdance circle and this guy who had been protecting me by blocking guys off so I could dance, leaned in and said, "This is like Fight Club gone wrong." I laughed so hard, because it was the truth. I had just said to him, "Wow. I don't know what to think. I think this is supposed to be breakdancing, but I've seen breakdancing in Portland before and it didn't look like this."

These two guys were circling eachother and then falling on the ground, in their socks, and attempted some sad drunken breakdance and then this little jousting quick footwork, like when you're doing warm-ups for football and moving your feet as fast as you can so you're going sideways. My bodyguard kept saying stuff that cracked me up, because it was so true.

So I danced until closing, and someone else took over to make sure no one macked on me, (because the bodyguard left after inviting me to a live music thing coming up) and then walked home, and talked to a guy whom, I just discovered, is a political writer and a short story writer as well. We talked until I was tired and went to bed.

This morning I got up early, had coffee, and talked to a mom of an 18 month old who used to work on the Hill and does consultant work now. She works PT and used to work on the Clinton campaign as well. Hopefully I'll run into her again and we'll talk politics. She told me about some good areas for kids in D.C. and things to do.

I went to Target and bought my son some things I couldn't afford before. I bought him flashing lights shoes, some rubber boots we'd tried on and he liked last Winter/Spring, a Parent's Choice toy (Animal Hospital with keys to unlock different kinds of locks and animals and doctor stuff), a CD with his favorite Winnie-the-Pooh song on it and other Disney songs, and I bought some children's cod liver oil for him, which I believe in, and gave him regularly when he was in my care. My aunt gives him these gummies with vitamins which are crap. Children are not best served getting vitamins in gummies. They should get their nutrients through real food. Cod liver oil is one supplement that makes sense though, and I get the expensive distilled kind without contaminants. I also got my son a Pooh stuffed animal that talks.

He really needs more toys with machinery and lights and stuff. He likes to watch how things happen and is very curious about machinery and bells and whistles.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Salom, Oneymo and Thank You D.C.

Okay, I don't remember how to say it exactly, but my cabbie just told me this is how to say thank you in the Middle East, after I said, "Enshallah". He said, "In Ethiopia you say Shalom, and in the Middle East, it's Shalom-a-mo." (or something like that).

This cabbie took me all the way to my house without charging me a penny. And when I tried to give him a tip, at least, he refused, on principle, stating he was a man of his word, from the Middle East, and would not charge me and could not even accept a tip. Then he said he would also take me wherever I needed to go, for free, when he was on duty.

First the Punjabi man, now the guy from Morroco! I am so lucky, in some ways. I now have two cab drivers who are respectable and honest men who have offered me free rides, carte blanche. I don't know why exactly. It's not like I'm telling a sob story. I just told this guy about my shopping expedition and he was laughing and everything. Hmmm. Maybe it's because I make them laugh. I don't know. Or treat them like normal people, because I know they're smart and just "doing what you have to do" to get by.

I love my city. Washington D.C. is my city and I love it for it's internationals and my own people who are here to do good works. Yes, there are money and power lovers here, but there are a LOT of people who want to do good, and they come from all over the country with ambitions to help and serve "the people".

This was my night, which is somewhat typical...I first got first rate help with my clothing choices at H & M by, as it turned out, a PERSONAL ASSISTANT. This woman was just voluntarily helping me in my clothing choices, and then she gave me her card and she's a professional personal assistant. She's up for review, and I hope her boss gives her a fat raise--she is REALLY good. She was so helpful and honest and I just love her. So we're going to have coffee in the future.

I got this darling black dress with long A-line cut sleeves that stop at the elbow, a plunging neckline, and knee-length skirt. It's very Brigette Bardot "french" and mod. I had every woman in the dressing room asking me where I got it. Okay, I'm flat, and I have no breasts, but it's a really nice look, sort of a Selma (not Salma) look. I bought flats to go with it and I'll wear my hair up, messy.

I was wearing my new pencil leg jeans with a camo-green long sleeved plain shirt, and brown boots, when I got off the Metro and these nice bodyguards just invited me into their club, without paying. I had bags with me and wanted a break so I stopped in and hung out. Then I was hungry, so I left to find food, and stumbled across this amazing Ethiopian resteraunt on U street, and this guy, a total stranger, says he wants to buy me drinks and dinner. It was clear it was just a friendly gesture, but he did say I looked so much like a woman he knew from the Netherlands, who was Dutch. I had the most amazing beef and "tortilla" dinner with jalapenos, tomatoes, garlic, and onion on the side. It was SOOOOooo good. And the music was live and traditional, and it was also very good. So fun. As it turned out, the guy I met was a former diplomat and is now an international lawyer. And then he introduced me to his friend, who was also formerly a diplomat (until they disagreed with what their country was doing to their people). And then I met people from Eitria, and I espeically loved this one woman who's lived here all her life.

I had one appletini and then I had another, accepted another, but wouldn't finish it because one was enough really. I had a little bit of the second one, which was quite strong. So kind, though! I made some new friends.

And then I made friends with the cab driver.

I'm starting to wonder if I should be a diplomat. If it just means meeting people and having fun and being a social representative, I think I could do a good job. So far, it seems, I make a good impression, and I adore the international communithy and I think they...LIKE ME!!!!

So, anyway, I love D.C.

Did I tell y'all, how I wrote this on someone's jeans in a club not long ago? I was at the Fox & Hound, in NW D.C., with a friend, and I met some guys and accidentally swiped him with the pen which had been holding my hair up. Ooops! I said as I caught his jeans with a pen nick. He said he didn't mind. I said, "reall\y?" and so I drew on his jeans, the thigh of his jeans as he was sitting down, without his permission. I drew, "LOVE" and then underneath it, I wrote "D.C.". His friends were agape. "These are $300 jeans!" he said, shocked. I laughed and whispered into his ear, "You can afford it." He smiled and asked me where I worked.


I love D.C.

Today I tried to take care of some business, with my son in mind. First I went to CPS in D.C. to get the psych eval going. I first met this one social worker whom I talked with and then she introduced me to her supervisor. I asked the first woman if there was someone else I could talk to because I'd rather steer clear of Catholic affiliation because of conflict of interest and problems which have always come up when people put their church first and think I'm some kind of detractor of Catholicism. This woman stared at me, agape. She said, "HOW DID YOU KNOW she's Catholic?!!!{" She asked me over and over and over. I told her, "I don't know!" She kept asking. I didn't know how to explain it because some of these things I "know" just come to me or, I really don't know. I told her, to her shock and smile and wide eyes: "I just had a feeling!"

That's intuition right there. I knew she was Catholic. I really don't know how I knew, I just knew. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I don't care, personally, but if she gets to know my story, it always works against me and someone fro that church always ends up thinking I'm out to get them or their church and it's just bad news. For my peace of mind, I need to steer clear of such affiliations which are potential conflicts of interest. I need objectivity. Otherwise, I know in my heart of hearts that this woman is a wonderful social worker supervisor--I've no doubts. It's just how they are able to relate to me and treat me that is the concern and time has proven what the likely response will be.

So anyway, I did this for my son today, and I also found out where to buy him some shoes with flashing lights, like he likes, today. He loves those shoes. No one would get them for him even though I asked, so I'm getting them for him.

I love my bear more than anything in the world, and people in D.C. know I am "different" but not mentally unstable or ill. A lot of people here are fairly streetsmart and world-wise. They know how things can go down.

Thank you to those who believe in me. I am deeply, deeply indebted and thankful to you. I know I have some secret angels and I hope I can repay in kind or know about it someday.

Please watch over my son. And please help us to reunite as quickly as possible, without Wenatchee CPS interference and slander to my good name. Please help me to find a lawyer who wants to help us.

Thank you.

Pour Some Sugar On Meah

I have played and replayed "Pour Some Sugar On Me". I think it's my new get-going song. I'll probably listen to "Love Bites" after I tire of replaying this one. I looked up some info on Def Leppard and found they're actually ENGLISH but were more popular in the U.S. than in England. I wonder why I end up liking all these English-based bands. Do I have a thing for British accents? Pour some sugar on meah. Meah.

Anyway, interesting fact, one of the drummers for the band lost his frickin' arm in a car crash and stayed with the band and still acted as drummer. Without his arm! very cool.

I was doing this with the Killer's song recently.

Hmmm. Back to English accents. Meah? would that be a good approximation for reflecting the accent? Meh? Mayuh?

United States Laws Which Allow Clergy To Conceal Crime Against Children

How sick is this?

I have my child taken from me, based on assumption and false opinion of "risk" of harm, without any evidence, and without any professional evaluation.

On the other hand, clergy, and churches, in several states in the United States, get to keep abuse and neglect and sexual crimes against children, a secret, and they are not held accountable.

Is there really separation of church and state in the U.S.? How is this harming our children? We have laws which are allowing adults to keep knowledge of crimes against children, a SECRET.

Why? because some people think perhaps an offender will not "confess" if they think it will be reported? and so therefore, they may be in "danger" of losing their soul because THEY cannot be absolved of their "sin"?

We are putting a religious theory and idea, of "salvation" above the bodily and civil rights of children. TODAY. STILL, after all of these lawsuits have been filed. How many more children will then be abused and unable to speak up for themselves until they are adults and have already suffered and others have suffered?

Not only should CLERGY not be exempt from laws protecting children, but clergy should not be allowed to protect others either.

This is clearly an example of religious influence in America that is wrong and must be corrected. This is an aggregious imbalance of power, and the churches have been given "safe haven" too long.

I mean, children and minors, especially, rely on the help of adults and protections of adults, to keep them safe. It's one thing if an adult chooses not to report their own abuse, and a clergy person also doesn't say anything. It's another thing entirely to keep crime against children a secret. It's wrong, and in my opinion, from a policy standpoint, any adult who does have knowledge of such crimes and doesn't report, should go to jail themselves.

States Which Do Not Require Clergy To Report Child Abuse

LOOK at THIS. I did NOT know, some states in The United States of America, allow clergy to get away with NOT reporting child abuse and molestation.

What fucking century are we living in anyway? THIS is why I wanted to change laws protecting churches from the same obligations normal corporations have, and no PRIEST or clergy should have the right to keep knowledge of crime against children PRIVATE.

There is something fucking wrong with a country that permits religious leaders privileges of keeping knowledge of crime against children a secret. Who will protect the children if adults do not? Are these children even able to speak up for themselves?

This is like having knowledge of a child prostitution ring, you or me, and we stumble upon this information, and see children being sexually or otherwise abused, and we don't TELL anyone.

That's called a sin of omission, and beyond that, anyone who has such knowledge and does not report it should also be going to fucking JAIL.

Read on:

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NCSL Home > State & Federal Issues: Issue Areas > Human Services > States Which Require Clergy to Report Child Abuse and States Which Allow Clergy Penitent Privilege Add to MyNCSL
States That Require Clergy to Report Child Abuse and States That Allow Clergy Penitent Privilege

February 2004
Nina Williams-Mbengue
The following information is collected from the 2003 Child Abuse and Neglect
State Statute Series Ready Reference Reporting Laws: Clergy as Mandatory Reporters.
The report may be accessed at:

The Clearinghouse also offers a report on all mandatory reporter categories, by state, at:

Clergy as Mandatory Reporters

Approximately 21 states require clergy to report child abuse. The states are: Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Illinois, Maine, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Mexico, North Dakota, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Vermont, and West Virginia. Six states specifically require Christian Science practitioners to report child abuse (several are in addition to clergy). The states are: Arizona, Arkansas, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Nevada and Vermont.
Clergy Penitent Privilege

Seventeen (17) states recognize the clergy-penitent privilege and allow clergy to maintain the confidentiality of pastoral communications. These states are: Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Illinois, Maine, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, Montana, Nevada, New Mexico, North Dakota, Oregon, Pennsylvania, and Vermont. New Hampshire and West Virginia deny the privilege in cases of suspected child abuse or neglect. Delaware, Florida, Idaho, Kentucky, Maryland, Utah and Wyoming require any person to report, which may include clergy, and they grant the privilege. Louisiana, South Carolina and Washington grant the clergy-penitent privilege although neither clergy nor any persons are mandated reporters. Connecticut and Mississippi require clergy to report, but do not address the privilege in their reporting laws. North Carolina, Rhode Island and Texas require any person to report and deny clergy-penitent privilege in child abuse cases.
All Persons Required to Report

Finally, 18 states, and Puerto, require all persons to report child abuse. These states are: Delaware, Florida, Idaho, Indiana, Kentucky, Maryland, Mississippi, Nebraska, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, North Carolina, Oklahoma, Rhode Island, Tennessee, Texas, Utah and Wyoming. Of those states, Delaware, Florida, Idaho, Kentucky, Maryland, Utah and Wyoming exempt clergy from reporting if they become aware of the abuse during confession or in the capacity of spiritual advisor. North Carolina, Rhode Island and Texas require all persons to report and specifically deny clergy penitent privilege in cases of suspected child abuse. Indiana, Nebraska, New Jersey, Oklahoma, Tennessee and Puerto Rico do not address clergy-penitent privilege in their reporting

Check Out The Disinformation Press

I had someone tell me about a cool publishing company the other day, actually out of Washington state, called "The Disinformation Press". They publish books by Zinn and other authors who are not strung along by the corporation-owned media.

Music I'm Listening To

I really like this song by Colbie Callait, "Realize". I've written about it before, but it's so good. The recording is very well-done. Yesterday I kept listening to Indigo Girls version of "Romeo & Juliet" and then the Dire Straits version. Indigo Girls was so much better, more soul. This morning I listened to Sheryl Crow "First Cut Is The Deepest" and then found out Cat Stevens, of all things, did this song first. That version is very "baaayyyybeee" bouncy.

I don't know if I've written this before, but I'm realizing I have a small "thing" for British post-punk. I'll hear something and like it, and then look it up and find the genre listed as post-punk. However, not just post-punk, but I've found I must have an ear for the British stuff.

Last night, at the gay bar, they were playing a bunch of stuff like Heart, and Michael Jackson, and some glam rock (Europe--Final Countdown). Man, all the guys went crazy at the song Final Countdown. Fists in the air...

I don't know, I've decided to play it now on YouTube.

We were making commentary about the clothing and hair. My friend was saying, "Bangs?!" (on the men). All the music videos were from the early 90s or something, maybe late 80s, really fun. Some John Mellencamp, Stevie Nicks, that sort of thing.

I think I'm in a glam rock mood. I'm back to "Pour Some Sugar On Me". I think it's a glam rock day. Now, onto finishing up some of my TTSOML posts. I woke early this morning because I am so disturbed about what is happening with my son. I'm extremely worried about him.

I am, so far, powerless, and I'm the one who knows what is best for him. He needs me and I am powerless to help him. I have been MADE powerless and my wishes are disregarded.

I think I need to get some running shoes today, and a few things from H&M, and an Ipod for running with.

Obama's Speech Last Night

Obama's speech.

I watched Obama's speech at a men's gay bar with a gay guy I had just met a few hours earlier. We were in one place and the sound was so muffled we couldn't hear anything. So he suggested the bar next door, JRs, and we watched the speech there, toasting.

This guy that I met was fascinating. He was doing research and experiments at NIH in Virtual Reality and getting his PhD in social psychology. I told him a little bit about my case and he said that more than needing a psychologist, I needed a good lawyer.

I was excited to meet him, though, because of news I've read about VR for veterans with PTSD and those with phobias. So it was fun to talk to him, and he and I both picked out the same guy as being the best looking. I said, "Do you think he's straight or gay?" and we laughed that we might be competing. We found out the guy was gay. Of course. It was a gay bar.

As I stood there, I thought about how these are my people in a way--anyone or any group that's been discriminated against for being different, in any way, I can relate to. I would like to defend and support the rights of these kinds of people. Whether it's FLDS mothers, gay parents, hispanic "illegals", or whatever.

On one hand, it felt historic to be there, and watching this speech by Obama, and I cheered. On the other hand, when Obama made his comments about people coming to the U.S., or America, on faith, because of "things hoped for" I couldn't help but think about what I've been through with the justice system here, and a church that has gotten away with using supposedly secular police and the state for their own ends. I listened to the positive comments about America being the greatest, and how, in America, ones dreams can be acheived, and it sounded hollow to me.

It's exciting to see the realization of Martin Luther King's dream, and yet Obama is, so far, just a face. Nothing has changed in the structure of the U.S. and I don't know that it is possible, by simply choosing a particular man for President. I thought his strongest points were about healthcare for people, and about educational opportunities for everyone (most important). I also had a lawyer tell me that after the appointments of a bunch of conservative federal judges, having Obama make new appointments would be a big deal. I didn't realize this was done only by the President. What also makes me think there's a little hope, is the fact that he was a civil rights attorney and that he taught constitutional law and then went into public service. To me, that says something. It's the kind of thing I would do, to serve the public. He didn't go to corporate law, and he has an interest in civil rights. Teaching constitutional law could also indicate he is interested in policy change. I heard him mention policies last night and for the first time, I understood what someone was talking about, with regard to politics. I never really "knew" what policies were about until recently.

If he is truly about what he says he's about, I do believe he is going to be in constant danger of assassination. So far, he's just a face. But if he actually wins and begins effecting this "change" he's talking about, he will need to be well-guarded.

I am thinking about joining the campaign, just to meet some like-minded people and find out more about politics in general. I really do believe the U.S. is on very shaky ground right now. It isn't too late, but I am not as confident as Obama. Then again, Obama may have his own doubts and may be saying a few of the "right" patriotic things to encourage others. Another book that my sort of ex-fling had in his bookcase, besides Zinn, was "The American Theocracy" which compares the U.S. to the Roman Republic and analyzes how it is in the same precarious position, pregnant with warning signs.

From the song "Falling Slowly"...

Take this sinking boat, and point it home, we've still got time/
Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice, you've made it now/
Falling slowly, sing your melody, I'll sing along

I still wonder how much I believe in my country, and if I am not meant to be elsewhere. I don't know.

Fat Therapy For Erickson #2

I've decided not to waste more of my time giving Michelle Erickson anymore fat therapy sessions. There are people who can help her better than I can, and her issues are not going to be solved with further psychoanalysis by me or even by passing on more tips.

Basically, I have only listed ONE of the ridiculous things she said, in her awful "testimony" on behalf of the "department". The reason the Wenatchee AG tried to object to my cross-examination, and to cut it short, was because I was tearing her apart on the stand. She had nothing to stand on except hearsay. As for her own qualifications, they stank, and the more she spoke, the worse off she sounded.

No normal Judge would have taken her seriously, and I was not even allowed the chance to complete my cross-exam when it was clear I had further questions, nor was I allowed to call any of the others people present, to the stand.

My own testimony was also cut short by the Judge. It wasn't a fair and full hearing.

More Shit-mail From Wenatchee CPS Supporter

Anonymous said...
I get it now, so you are basically assuming that most if not all daycares deny kids one-on-one attention and plop kids down in front of T.V. all day. That's a pretty big generalization. After having worked in quite a few myself, I have found most striving to give kids exactly what you have described in how you would run your own. Do you even know anything about the daycare your aunt has put your son into? Have you asked or is it all an assumption so that you can have something else to get upset about and gain sympathy for your cause?

August 28, 2008 7:58 PM

Mama said...
First of all, "anonymous", this is the last time I publish your whining defense for the "department".

Number one, if there is a T.V. on, kids will gravitate to it. I did NOT leave T.V. on in my house.

Number two, daycare do NOT give kids "one-on-one" attention, and you may have worked in a daycare, but that doesn't mean you know anything about child development or that you attempted to educate yourself, as I have. If you had, you would be familiar with the studies that consistently show children are damaged in daycare and that they are not as emotionally healthy and well-developed as children who are raised by one solid provider.

Number three, no I wouldn't know that much about the daycare my son is in, because both Wenatchee CPS AND my aunt and own family concealed the fact they were dumping my son into one. One one asked my feelings, what my opinions and values were, or even considered finding out whether I would be willing to help pay for a nanny for my son, rather than having him thrown into daycare. I've not been kept abreast of ANY of my son's appointments. It is difficult for the state to claim they care about my bond with my son and my parental rights, when they behave in this manner.

Number five--I strongly regret that my son was placed with any member of my "family". My son obviously would have been better off in another family that has parental philosophies which match mine.

Number six: What exactly do you think my "cause" is? Bitch, let me tell you what it is. My "cause" is my son. I'd like to ask you the same thing and ask you why you don't have the balls to sign with your real name instead of hiding under the shroud of "anonymous". You're not only a moral coward, you're an intellectual coward who can't put their name next to their argument, and you obviously know very little about child development, despite your work in daycares.

Being a worker in a daycare means nothing. You can work for a daycare and still be completely ignorant about child development and milestones and child psychology. I've read books, kept subscriptions regarding children and parenting, and read dozens of books about parenting. I did this BEFORE I ever had a child, and then when I had my son, I read books about development wherever he was at, including educational development and Montessori philosophies.

Go back to college and get a degree, and I say this because you obviously need someone pushing you to educate yourself and need the structure of someone telling you what to do. If you were an independent thinker and had any brains or intellectual curiosity and will at all, you would have studied these things for yourself, as I have done, and would actually have something concrete with which to back up YOUR assumptions.

August 29, 2008

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Grounds For Civil Rights Lawsuit Against Wenatchee CPS and State

CPS has not only damaged and traumatized my son unnecessarily, I have had my entire life's work destroyed and my future work with children destroyed as well. It's basic grounds for a lawsuit. I was not given due process.

Also, my values and religious beliefs can be imbued upon others' kids who have parents with views similiar to mine. I do NOT believe in FT daycare for any child, at all. Research on the emotional development of children consistently shows children ARE damaged in daycares, and that one-on-one attention at least part or most of the time, is essential to healthy development. Kids with nannies fare better, because it's still one-on-one, even if it's not the parent. It's been determined there isn't much dfiference whether it is a parent or a nanny watching the children most of the time--the differences are noted with daycares. Kids are neglected in daycares, and sit by the television. It's a gross tragedy I had prepared against, with my son's best interests in mind.

Michelle Erickson is, in no way, qualified to determine what is best for my son, or to even make "risk assessments". She has almost zero experience with not just children, but with adults. Her experience is with teens, who are in rehab. She has no practical knowledge, or even educational training about children, especially young children, and their needs.

My parental rights have been violated, my right to due process was violated, my right to representation was violated, my future work has been damaged because of this, and my son's mental health has been damaged as well. Finally, my civil and religious rights have been violated because the state has gone against what they knew my beliefs were and are. I also specifically told CPS and my family I did NOT want my son to be immunized because of religious/philosophical reasons and because of a horrible reaction he had to shots which I found out he received double of, by mistake, and which still contained the now-banned mercury Thimerserol.

Commentator Questions My Plans & Lawsuit For Work

Anonymous said...
Hold the phone! A few blog posts ago you blasted your aunt for putting your son in daycare because of you "beliefs" about it, now you want to start your own? How does that work?

August 28, 2008 11:37 AM

Mama said...
I'll tell you how it works. Number one, I wouldn't be running a 8-15 kids daycare with a T.V. on all day. My "daycare" would be for no more than 5 children and I would pick and choose who I admit into my daycare, which would not be FT but PT, and which would be closer to a preschool than a daycare. There would be outings and fun activities, art and music, and singing with hand motions, and reading and even a little language lesson or two. Lots of games and outdoor play, because what kids need most, is play. Not T.V., which they get sucked into.

I would be able to be THE PROVIDER for my son and choose my son's "playmates" and associates and make a little extra money giving other kids some good attention too.

I know what kind of "nanny" I've been and how I am with my son. I am strictly hands-on and I do NOT use T.V. My son saw one 1/2 hour movie a day, period, and he was learning shapes, colors, ABCs, and art, and made some beautiful paintings in fact, and drawings.

He danced with me to music and we danced around the kitchen and livingroom, and worked on rhythm with "drumsticks". I pulled him around in a Flyer wagon outside and played WITH him, holding his hand as we raced up and down dirt hills.

My son adores me and misses me dearly, and NO one can provide the kind of quality care I provide, or the affection and hugs and kisses. I was very demonstrative and in turn, he was affectionate and kind with other children and animals. I would engage the other few children in the same kind of environment, and then, because I would charge a good price for such good quality daycare, I would only do it PT.


That's how it works.

Wow. It's so difficult to think outside the box, isn't it?

August 28, 2008 4:39 PM

That was the end of my response to the comment, but I'll add a little more. This isn't a new "plan". I was already planning to be a nanny for 3 other children in Canada and already had the job offer, and was going to care for my son there at the same time. So I was already "doing" this, but it wasn't at my own house, with my own structure and daycare. Now, because of the ruling against me for fact finding, I will never be able to get a license to have a daycare, because I have been found "guilty" of basically being a risk to my OWN CHILD. And it's not the "risk" that is mentioned, it's just "abuse and neglect". This not only harms me and my son now, it directly affects and damages my livlihood when almost all of my work experience has been with children. This costs me my son and also my job. When I did nothing wrong, and I was not even given a public defender or discovery to fight with.

If I had a license for a daycare, I could both watch my son and make money watching other kids, PT and then still go to college and finish up at night, and study at night while my son slept, which is what I'd been planning to do.

CPS has not only damaged and traumatized my son unnecessarily, I have had my entire life's work destroyed and my future work with children destroyed as well. It's basic grounds for a lawsuit. I was not given due process.

Also, my values and religious beliefs can be imbued upon others' kids who have parents with views similiar to mine. I do NOT believe in FT daycare for any child, at all. Research on the emotional development of children consistently shows children ARE damaged in daycares, and that one-on-one attention at least part or most of the time, is essential to healthy development. Kids with nannies fare better, because it's still one-on-one, even if it's not the parent. It's been determined there isn't much dfiference whether it is a parent or a nanny watching the children most of the time--the differences are noted with daycares. Kids are neglected in daycares, and sit by the television. It's a gross tragedy I had prepared against, with my son's best interests in mind.

Michelle Erickson is, in no way, qualified to determine what is best for my son, or to even make "risk assessments". She has almost zero experience with not just children, but with adults. Her experience is with teens, who are in rehab. She has no practical knowledge, or even educational training about children, especially young children, and their needs.

My parental rights have been violated, my right to due process was violated, my right to representation was violated, my future work has been damaged because of this, and my son's mental health has been damaged as well. Finally, my civil and religious rights have been violated because the state has gone against what they knew my beliefs were and are. I also specifically told CPS and my family I did NOT want my son to be immunized because of religious/philosophical reasons and because of a horrible reaction he had to shots which I found out he received double of, by mistake, and which still contained the now-banned mercury Thimerserol.

Fat Therapy For Erickson #1

Okay Michelle, Session Number #1:


Here is a website with some interactive materials which I've heard is really good:

I highly recommend you pick up the book by Mireille Guillano, "French Women Don't Get Fat: The Secret Of Eating For Pleasure". I think this book is good because part of the reason diets fail is because women are too hard on themselves, and try to deprive themselves entirely of pleasure or even junk food, and then this backfires and they quit the diet in a binge.

The more you tell yourself you cannot have something, the more you'll want it. If you're looking at that chocolate cake, thinking of calories, and don't allow yourself a little bit, now and then, it will become the forbidden fruit. And there is really nothing "bad" about food, in general, and you know that. Even fats in food are essential, especially ones high in Omega 3s.

You can lose a lot of weight with a very sensible approach. And you can keep it off. I don't know what the French women's secrets are, because I haven't read the book, but I've had other friends read this and say it's excellent, and I agree with what I've read of the philosophy. However, I'm going to let you in on my secrets, and what I do, okay? So this is just stuff I figured out for myself.

First though, I want you to ask yourself some starting point questions:

1. Do you believe you abuse food?
2. Are you able to admit you are an addict?
3. Have you examined the stressors in your life and what precipitates a binging episode?
4. Are you in counseling for your insecurities and to resolve your body issues?
5. Do your lovers collapse onto you after sex and forget to roll off? Have you ever been mistaken for a waterbed?

If you have answered yes to any of the above, please read on.

1. First of all, you have to change your attitude about food. Stop counting calories. Not only that, throw out the scale. Checking your progress every few minutes will only be discouraging at first. What I do is look at food visually, with the idea that you are what you eat. You want to eat from every food group, and your body will tell you what it craves quite often, if you are lacking certain nutrients. Meat, fruits, and veggies, look firm. Now look at, or think about sauces and oils. Look at pudding. Think about soft cheeses and breads. They're soft. You need some grains of course, and hard cheeses are good for you too, but think about it. Do you want to look like a steak, or a carrot or be firm like an apple? Or do you want your body to represent a bagel with cream cheese?

2. The Little Things. My rule, is if you really want the piece of cake, have it! and then next time around, skip the french fries. It's better to have a little bit of something, than to forbid it altogether. Even if you choose NOT to have the cake, you are tricking your mind to believe you can have whatever you want, and allowing yourself to relax a little. Stress will just make you want to eat more. On the other hand, if I'm trying to lose weight, I start cutting out little things. I'll have a Whopper but tell them no mayo or very light mayo. I'll have a couple of pieces of dark chocolate but skip the donuts and scones. If you want something sweet, eat something sweet. If you want something fatty, eat somethng fatty. Just do everything with moderation.

3. In addition, you have to exercise. This doesn't have to mean running or going to the gym. I've had a gym membership only once in my life. I think the outdoors is best because you have the advantage of fresh air and sunlight. Start walking everywhere. Take the stairs. Then, if you wish, the elevator. Then the stairs. It is a fact that music decreases the sensation of pain, so if you choose to run or do something more strenuous, you can trick your mind to allow your body to go farther with music. It also keeps things from being a distraction or boring.

4. Stop checking out books about diets and start reading books about nutrition and the properties of foods. Knowing what food does for the body is very important. You don't care about calories. You want to care about the properties of foods. Pros and cons. Right now I'm eating a chocolate chip cookie (start thinking about it after my mention of such in earlier post) and drinking an espresso. I know chocolate is good for not just my brain but my body. A cookie is a little fattening, but the espresso cuts it a bit because it will enhance and increase the metabolism and sort of cuts through the fat, being acidic. It's just good to know what food will do for you. In general, fried or prepared, fast foods are not good for you, but everyone, in my opinion, needs junk food now and then. I eat it. But I also eat a lot of seafood, meat, and fresh fruits and veggies. Also, skim milk with cereal in the morning will help you drop weight. Skim milk, if you read up on it, will help you to lose weight.

5. If you drink, vodka-soda has the fewest calories. A margarita, I just found out, has about 1,000 calories. Now when it comes to food without any real nutritional value, it's okay to consider calories. Because if they're empty calories, you really want to avoid that. Also, cut out soda. For whatever reason, I swear soda pop prevents weight loss. I don't know why exactly, but even the diet stuff isn't good.

6. Recognize hunger pang. Allow yourself to become truly hungry, and then eat. Notice when you are actually hungry, and when you're not. Also, don't go too long being hungry or you'll binge. I snack throughout the day. I'd rather have 5 snacks or just nibble on something, than stick to 3 large meals at appointed times. Snacking is a good way to keep your metabolism even and prevent a binging episode.

7. Measure your weight loss by the way your clothing fits, not the scale. When your pants are too loose, buy new ones. Who cares what size they are. The problem with scales is that sometimes you gain MORE when you start working out or walking more even, because your fat is being converted to muscle, which weighs more. Numbers are just discouraging in the beginning.

That's about it. For practical eating habit advice, that's all I do. When you obsess about food, it affects your perception of your own body, others, and food itself, and this leads to overeating. Of course, we know, and I know you have some other issues you need to work on, which underlie your addictive personality, but we can think about that more in Fat Therapy #2. I really don't have a lot of time to devote to this cause--my non-profit interests are not really "Save The Whales", but I think I've got some good tips.

I know you can do it! Michelle, if you will just cooperate with your own body and tune into problem resolution, you will be on your way. I want to help you, but you have to be willing to help yourself and the first step to recovering is admitting you have a problem.

Good luck!

My Risk Assessment For Michelle Erickson

My assessment of Erickson is that she is a small town girl with a lot of growing up to do. I would tag her as an ESFJ who, while not being very intuitive or discerning, is quite in touch with her feelings and what she can feel with her hands.

There is nothing more soothing to Michelle, than a big fat chocolate chip cookie, or a greasy burger.

Michelle was drawn to helping adolescents in rehab because of her fascination with addiction. Michelle has never been addicted to drugs. Michelle is addicted to food. She has sought to control her addiction with food, but struggles daily. She goes home after a long day, famished, scouring the refrigerator for food. Michelle enjoyed her position working with rehab teens because it allowed her to explore the psychology of addiction and allow her to help others, from a safe distance. She had empathy for addicts, because, even if she couldn't pick up on this herself, her own personality and issues created the same problems for her.

She understands what it's like to turn to a substance for comfort, for release.

Michelle doesn't think food addiction has any correlation to drug addiction, but she sees bingers everywhere.

The first thing Michelle notices about a person, is their eating habits, and she fails to recognize this is the result of her own obsession in counting calories or worrying about her weight and her own failed attempts to diet.

She notices skinny people, and what they eat, and fat people and what they eat, and she even thinks she has a keen understanding of the potential for eating disorders in infants and toddlers.

My assessment is that Michelle Erickson is at risk.

She is not only a risk to the department, with her superficial judgements and inability to perceive the truth, she is easily manipulated, which is probably why she then becomes stressed out, as a "yes"-woman, and turns to food.

Michelle is passive-aggressive, holding her cool in public and then ransacking the fridge at night.

Michelle has low self-esteem and is far too conscious of her body. Underlying her addiction to food are unresolved issues of inferiority and the inability to find a healthy way to express internal resentments and anger. Michelle longs for the attentions of men, and wears shirts that expose at least one part of her body where fat is attractive--her breasts.

Michelle is a very pretty woman, with a bubbly personality, who has body and identity issues which should be explored in therapy and jointly resolved through entrance into a Weight Watcher's program. Michelle has demonstrated a struggle with self-control, which likely extends outside of the kitchen and manifests in sexual promiscuity as well.

Big eaters--big lovers.

Michelle should continue her work with rehab teens, where she has years of experience, interest, and can actually bring something to the table by way of personal experience with the imbalances that underlie addiction in any form.

Eating, when not hungry, is a pleasurable thing. It releases endorphins. However, when someone is eating and it is not out of hunger, it is an emotional response to trauma.

Michelle, I think we can help you. I really want to see you on the right track, and in exchange for your excellent "assessments" of my son, I am going to return good for ummm....well, I'm going to give you something you can really sink your teeth into, something to really chew on.

I am going to give away some of my secrets on how to lose weight, even obsese pregnancy weight, and on how to stay thin. But you must be ready to dig deeper than the surface if you are to be successful, because your substance of choice has disillusioned you. You think food addiction is somehow different from drug addiction, and yet the mental issues underlying both are exactly the same. Which is why you were drawn to helping teens in rehab to begin with.

I think you have some potential. I am going to make you OVER girlfriend!

Risk assessment: you are in danger of being a further harm to yourself and others. Number one, obesity can kill you. Number two, you might kill someone else if you should happen to fall on them, or attempt the woman-on-top position. Furthermore, you could seriously injure someone just by stepping on their feet. If this addiction is not controlled soon, you will be a fat old woman with huge sagging breast and 5 cats. This will be damaging to your own self-image and with a sex drive like yours, you do not want to be limited to giving BJs. You also don't want to attract the type with fetishes for fat people, because they are also a danger to society, and will only encourage you in your addiction. You do not need someone who is co-dependent. You need a real man. A strong man, yes. Someone who will carry you over the threshold. You do not need to worry about breaking the threshhold, or his back, or chairs, or the Guiness World Record. You need to be set free.

I can help you Michelle. My first assignment for you is coming up next.

My Son Is A "Binger" According To Obese Erickson

One of the more hilarious moments in the hearing yesterday, was when Erickson, who was the state's "star witness and expert", claimed she felt my son showed signs of being at risk. She mentioned her observations and something about my son's actions, so I asked her what exactly she had observed personally which made her feel she could assess my son.

She could only come up with one time where she was present at a speech therapist meeting for my son, where I was also present. I had received an email from the speech therapist about how obviously, "something very right" had occured in the parenting of my son, because, the therapist said, he was so happy, well-adjusted, and social and trusting of adults. She said it was clear he was bonded to me and she complimented me.

Erickson, on the other hand, had a different impression. In her ONE opportunity to observe my son, she claimed my son became nervous when I started to "rant" about his and my medical problems. I reminded Erickson there had been no "rant" because the therapist wanted information and I told her I'd rather not discuss it in front of my son. I asked Erickson if she remembered this and if she also remembered that whenever my son felt shy or anxious around strangers, he went to ME, not to my aunt, who was also present and had been caring for him the last few months. So, in my cross-exam of Erickson, I asked her what "behavior" of my son, exactly, caused her concern. What did she say? She claimed that my son resorted to eating food when he was anxious. She said she noticed that whenever something seemed to bother him, he started eating a lot.

So I asked her, "So you think my son is a binger?"

It was one of the most ridiculous things. My son is 2 years old and has consistently, in my care, been in the highest percentiles for height and weight and has very good eating habits and yet, my son, seen through Erickson's eyes, had eating issues.

Let me give you a physical description of Michelle Erickson...

She is fat.

Not only is she fat, she eats when she is nervous, and she turns to food for comfort. Michelle Erickson is so fat, even a face photo would be enough to indicate she is obese and has food issues. Is she a binger? I do know the first thing she wanted to do after a hearing was to eat. And it is clear, by her weight, that she eats a lot. She is probably about 5'5" and weighs approximately 200 lbs. She has a big ass, a big stomach, and a fat face. This is not being mean, and I have been fat myself before. It is the truth.

How curious that the state's expert witness has NO real experience with younger children, and cannot make assesments without self-projection.

Erickson had nothing else to say about my son's behavior other than that SHE thought he "binged".

I know my son does not eat unless he's hungry. He has lost weight since he's been out of my care and his percentiles for height and weight have gone down dramatically. He was healthiest in my care.

I know what my son does when he's upset. He sucks his thumb. He doesn't "eat". He uses his thumb to comfort himself and he didn't do this in the meeting with the speech therapist.

But, according to Erickson, the state has got a 2 year old "binger" on their hands. Because she saw him eating some grapes (food my aunt brought in) inbetween playing, after my aunt had already explained to everyone in the room she hadn't had time to feed him breakfast because they got up late.

But my son is a binger, and, it's all my fault.

Thanks Cameo, for creating another American monster.

Another thing, the department and the speech therapist's office specifically told me I COULD NOT bring a tape recorder to the meeting. I said I felt I should bring one for my own protection, because of the lies people were coming up with, claiming I said things I never said, or had conversations I never had. I am not going to say, at this point, one way or the other, whether I did bring along a tape recorder in my bag or on my person. But I am just going to let CPS say what they will, and if they want to know how likely it would have been for me to ignore their request, especially after they were so interested in NOT having me record what was going on, they should ask the Abbey attorneys what their opinion is.

Request To Judge Hotchkiss For Visitation Of My Son

Request For Visitation With My Son‏
Sent: Thu 8/28/08 10:24 AM
To:; Michelle K. (DSHS/CA) Erickson (;;;

Dear Judge Hotchkiss,

While I'm waiting for the transfer of services to Washington D.C, where I live, I would like to visit my son.

I wasn't able to finish telling you what I objected to of the services mentioned, and make all the requests I had for how things are done.

One thing I feel is important, is visitation of my son. CPS claimed sporadic visitation would be "confusing" and they asked that I not be allowed to see my son at all unless it was on a weekly basis. I feel it is more harmful to my son not to see me at all, and this is a violation of my parental rights and the right of my son to try to maintain a bond. The bond was disrupted because of CPS's actions, and yet former CPS worker Paul Glassen, who is also a mental health professional, agrees the bond is there and cannot be destroyed. I have talked to my son almost every single day on the phone and he watches the YouTube videos of the two of us playing together. My aunt says it is clear he needs me and wants to be with me, and he watches these videos with a smile on his face. Once I called when he was watching a video of the two of us and he started screaming when my aunt tried to take him away. He didn't know his mother was on the phone for him and when he found out, he quieted down and began jabbering. If you remember, CPS also wanted to terminate phone calls with my son and I strongly question not only their motives, but their professional experience with children.

I can tell you, that while Michelle Erickson claimed to be able to assess "risk" without any real experience with toddlers or younger children (which she admitted), or adults for that matter, I have worked over 10 years, closer to 15 years, with this age group as my primary occupation throughout my life has been childcare and professional nanny work. All my charges were 7 years old or younger and most of my experience is with toddlers. I've also read books on child development, been a subscriber to parenting magazine, and am familiar with parenting philosophies advocated by a variety of child psychologists. It is damaging to my son to not see his mother at all, and more confusing to him to have her suddenly "disappear" than to at least see her some of the time. Our bond is strong and he needs to have contact with me. He has more contact with cousins than his own mother, and he certaintly isn't damaged by seeing others on a sporadic basis. It is a strange conclusion to say it's better for a child to not see his parents at ALL than to see them sporadically. Even CPS and the visitation monitors admitted frequency is better for children, than length of a visit, and omitting visits altogether certaintly takes "frequency" out of the picture. My son needs to know his mother, and that adults in general, do not disappear from the face of the earth, and his attachment disorder and separation anxieties are better remedied with the reassurance of seeing his mother than NOT.

As a sidenote, the fact that you found me "guilty" of the accusations brought by the state, makes it impossible for me to pursue a license to run my own daycare in the future, as it is close to a criminal charge. I am lumped into "being at risk", I am lumped into having "abused and neglected" my son. There is no distinction on paper, even if the AG claims they have made a distinction. This directly impairs and affects my career goals, as I had been looking into starting my own daycare where I could also watch my own son and I am qualified to do so.

Your failure to give me fair hearing and due process, and representation, has not only traumatized my son, but it has prejudiced not only my parental rights but my life in general.

Over 15 years of working with children, my main occupation, is now down the drain, because I was not given a public defender with reasonable defense, or adequate time to prepare a defense for this case, or even given tools I needed, like discovery.

This will result in a civil rights lawsuit if an appeal fails in any way.

In the interim, I know more about child development than Michelle Erickson, and I know it would be harmful to completely cut off visitation if I am able and willing to make round trip travel to see my son. I have a feeling the department just doesn't want to have visitation reinstated for cost reasons, because they would have to pay for transportation. This is why they want visitation only in Wenatchee. I wish to see my son, and actually, if it is true that CPS is obligated to provide transportation for visitation, and their only concern is "regularity" of visits, I am able to visit my son on a weekly basis. Go ahead and reinstate my visitation, and I will make a trip every single week to visit my son for the recommended 4 hours.

Otherwise, the department shows they are unwilling to keep the bond with my son and are only self-interested. I think the fact they wanted to cut off telephone visitation is suspicious enough.

Their agenda is to have my aunt and uncle adopt my son and they have already made up their minds. If they are indeed interested in following their duties and in preserving the bond between mother and son, they will not argue against this.

I tried to make a point yesterday, and you cut me off, Your Honor, that CPS and my aunt have thrown my son into daycare FULL-TIME without any prior consultation with me. No one asked me what I thought or how I would feel about it, and both parties know I am against daycare for my son. He needs one-on-one attention, especially after what he's been through. My aunt is not even his primary caregiver any longer. A daycare is. How is this in the best interests of my son?

Finally, I am told by a social worker in D.C. that it should NOT take "several months" for the transfer process and for me to be evaluated over here. She said it takes as long as the people take.

Please let me know whether my right to visitation has been restored. Supposedly it was only suspended because I hadn't been able to go by bus because of my disability. I don't have any trouble flying because I'm able to shift around and recline some, without sitting upright so long.

At any rate, I am making my request for visitation with my son known.

As for other services, some of these things may be addressed when I appeal.

Cameo Garrett

Another Request To Washington State For Discovery

Immediate Discovery Request‏
From: c
Sent: Thu 8/28/08 9:52 AM
To:; Michelle K. (DSHS/CA) Erickson (;;;;

For Marie Scanlon, Michelle Erickson, Judge Hotchkiss:

I am asking that ALL discovery I've not received or signed for, be resent and mailed to me at the last address I provided, which you have on record, at University Pl NW, in Washington D.C.

I need the full and complete record of all records which were never signed for, which you claim you sent to the Gemini address in Blaine, Washington, and all medical records and any and all discovery following this residence.

I do not have anything, and I need full copies to be sent ASAP for filing appeal.

I have already given you notice of appeal and this is for the record, that I have requested discovery I never received and which I need for making appeal.

Additionally, I need all internal CPS and other "department" and AG notes which would or should have been mailed to me which I've not signed for or recieved. If I've not signed for it, I have not received it.

My request includes again asking for an audio copy of the hearing for Contested Sheltercare and Preliminary Fact Finding, which I wasn't present for, and a copy of the audio for the last hearing. If you are going to continue to say I have to pay for copies, please include the price in your response.

Please file this for the record.

Cameo Garrett

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

This SInking Ship: Results From Hearing

Basically, Wenatchee won their case, which I already would happen whether I was there in person or not, without representation. I wasn't guaranteed the right to see my son either, so it would have been a pointless trip. It was right that I did not go there.

I basically found out everything was decided without me in the first Contested Sheltercare and Prelim Fact Finding hearing. I never had a chance because that's the hearing where I was hung up on by the Judge, after being told, ON THE SPOT, that I would not be represented by a public defender.

So everything was decided then, and I had no say.

In this hearing, the Judge sustained every objection except one, of the departments, and in the end even sustained the last objection he initially entertained. The objection by the state was that I not be able to cross-examine their own witness on the points THEY made themselves. The judge said no and then he just decided not to allow me to keep questioning.

In the end, he said it had been "two hours" and he was "tired". Poor Judgey. This Judge knows that any Fact Finding with a licensed attorney would have lasted longer than two hours and that there would have been discovery and evidence on my behalf. There was zero discovery in front of me, from the state, and I had no evidence even for my own side. THEN, the Judge cuts off my cross-exam, which was actually turning up some interesting points. I just said whatever I thought I could use on appeal and I think they were thinking the same thing because they tried to make a big deal about how they'd "attempted" to give me discovery.

They said my son was to remain with my aunt, who is throwing my son into daycare full-time. They cited "stability" and "structure". My son had structure and stability with me prior to his removal. He was in preschool and swim lessons and had playdates. But to CPS, daycare sounds a lot like nice tidy "structure". They don't care.

They want ME. They claimed, again, that there was NO issue of "abuse OR neglect" and stated their only concern was "risk", and said it was because they thought I was a druggie and mentally ill.

Of course. And they went off of what doctors who were getting sued tried to write to cover their asses.

They said I had to agree to a number of evaluations and when I asked if I could do them in D.C., the AG didn't want to allow it. She said it would mean a considerable "delay" and claimed, to the Judge, that it could be several months before I was ever evaluated because of the "paperwork". This is a bunch of BS because I talked to a D.C. social worker and she said it would only take as long as the people took.

Wenatchee AG Anne McIntosh tried to get me to go to a psychologist in WENATCHEE for evaluation. I asked why the state was claiming a Wenatchee psychologist could do it "right away" but they didn't offer the Whatcom County psychologist, in Washington, at the same speed. This, after they claimed the great "delay" in paperwork would be because of evaluations out of state. Yet within other parts of Washington state, they think there would be "delay".

It would be perfect for Wenatchee CPS and all of Wenatchee, if they could get one of their guys to evaluate me.

That is not going to happen. The Judge at least allowed for my ability to have an evaluation done in D.C., albeit in several months, and then McIntosh threatened the "clock was ticking" as if as soon as a couple of months are up, if I'm not there visting my son, in Wenatchee, I will lose him forever and he'll be adopted out.

They tried to get me to go back to Wenatchee and said I could only see him after evaluation, and then only 4 hours a week.

I had already offered to do every single one of these evaluations BEFORE they ever took my son and they didn't want it. They took my son without even offering services, and no one has argued this for me. The state is supposed to exhaust services and remedies first and they didn't.

They claimed I did all kinds of things I don't do and wasn't doing then. I actually did a fairly good cross-exam of their only witness, who is completely incompetent and made it clear she didn't have the professional experience or background to make any kind of risk assessment. Everything she went off of was slanderous doctors notes.

I am suing the Wenatchee doctors. That is first on my list. At least I already know who to go to for personal injury.

Not only that, it was interesting material there which I could use in a medical malpractice lawsuit, because Wenatchee CPS admitted the doctors didn't give them key pieces of medical records which not only proved I had a physical disability from childbirth, but that my son was also sick and injured after birth and that his many trips to the clinics were warranted. My son's high bilirubin levels, at 3 months of age, were missing. Those records I mean. The radiology report which confirmed a broken tailbone, was missing.

Anything that helped my case wasn't "there" or they claimed ignorance.

They also tried to claim doctors said nothing was wrong wth my son and then turned around and said they removed him because they thought something was wrong with my son. First they claimed nothing was wrong and that I took my son to the doctors unnecessarily, and then they tried to contradict themselves, which just sounded nutty.

This woman who was the witness who "assessed" my son, admitted she had zero experience assessing children of my son's age and admitted she had nothing in writing about how she "assessed" and that there was no form or anything. It was just her opinion, and she admitted she'd only briefly talked to me and briefly seen my son. All she went off of were medical records, which the Judge said had to be released, knowing this was a violation of my privacy, of HIPPA, and that it was improper because the state had nothing to go off of when they took my son.

WHen the state took my son, they knew they'd lose. They had no evidence. So they convinced the Judge to have the medical records from the doctors, which are totally skewed, released, so they'd have something to try to argue off of.

The put the cart before the horse and then tried to back it up.

This Judge lets them do whatever they want to do.

I am finding a lawyer to appeal this and appeal the Contested Sheltercare. If it's too late to appeal contested sheltercare and the prelim fact finding, I'm going to find a way to file a complaint for civil rights and due process violations.

I told them I'd jump through all their hoops over here in D.C., and still appeal all of this. The Judge said fine. The state tried to argue it would be months and months of delay for me to be evaluated in D.C. I think they hope that either I get slammed by their guy in Wenatchee, or that I lose further months of vistation with my son and then will argue my son isn't bonded to me anymore or something.

There is no reason why this process of transferring the duties to another agency in the U.S. should take months and months.

In the meantime, my son stays with a religious fanatic aunt who has thrown him into daycare. The states witness approves. She said, and emphasized it was a stable and structured home (my aunt has cleaning OCD so it's certaintly "clean") and that there was "permanency", meaning they want to adopt my son and would.

I'm starting to think that even with all my hardest attempts, I will never get through. It doesn't seem like the truth will ever get out, not enough, and that I'll come clean, and be validated and exonnerated of all the accusations and the price I've paid for being a whistleblower.

I really cannot say I have very much faith at all. It seems to me that my son and I should not be in the U.S. any longer. Even if I get him back and this Judge claimed I would if everything, the evals came out good and clean, how can I even stomach to stay here?

On one hand, it would be great to fight the system from the other side, but on the other hand, I just don't even know that this is my country anymore. What makes me reconsider, and think about staying, is the thought that there are a lot of other people on this sinking ship, and that maybe I can save some of THEM, even if I couldn't save myself.

My Values And Religious Beliefs Trampled By CPS

The reason CPS and my own family didn't tell me about throwing my son into daycare is because they all KNOW this is the last thing I wanted for my son.

I told CPS, and my former social worker who now works for CPS (whom I reported), that I would do anything to keep my son out of daycare. My family knows this too.

I even told them I would go back to college and do it at night so my son could be with me during the daytime and would only have a sitter when he was asleep, so he wouldn't miss me.

Instead, CPS and my family ignore my wishes and deliberately do what they KNOW I do not want for my son, which is something I know my son cannot handle, especially after what he's been through.

They don't care because he's just another kid to them. He's not their son. He's just a disposable kid, and they'll say kids go to daycare all the time.

This is DIRECTLY opposed to MY VALUES. MY VALUES and parenting beliefs have been ignored. My values for my son amount to religious belief because I do not believe my son should ever be in a daycare. I have strong opinions about it and I also have religious beliefs and feelings. I want to raise my son according to MY spiritual beliefs and my values, and both CPS and my family know that I do not believe in daycare for my son.

What they have done is as bad as what the Texas CPS did to those FLDS mothers whose kids were taken away.

I believe God gave me a gift and that my responsibility is and has always been to be there for him, until he is old enough to gradually adjust and be transistioned into pre-school (PART TIME) and then kindergarten and then elementary school.

I was able to do this. I was taking nanny work to care for my own son in addition to the children of others.

I would either do THAT, or I would go to college and take classes at night and study at night and have my son during the day so he doesn't even miss me at night.

NO ONE CONSULTED ME because they knew I was AGAINST this and would OPPOSE it. No one even gave me a chance.

And because JUDGE HOTCHKISS hung up on me in the hearing which decided who has control over making decisions for my son, I have been denied justice and equal access to the law.

I was wrongfully denied my right to be my son's advocate.

Wenatchee chose their own course, and my family doesn't give a shit because they've all been insensitive bastards from the beginning whose values I have pushed off. I am NOTHING like my family and I strongly disagree with the way I was raised and the way the Bairds raise their kids.

Holly, by the way, didn't put her OWN kids into Full-time Daycare. But she is fine doing this with my son because she does not and CANNOT love him like her own.