Sunday, January 31, 2010

Hamas Leader Assassinated

Weird. I had a dream about being assassinated or people thinking of this and plotting this, on the night before there was a major assassination in the world. Coincidence entirely, but I was wondering if that day I'd picked up on any kind of vibe, after reading about an assassination, and I didn't find anything about a vibe, jsut a report of having a dream that I was being looked over in a car, to be marked for assassination.

I have no special ties or political views about Hamas or Israeli or other Euro conflicts, not enough understanding of all the politics, but I thought it was a little bit strange.

Living With It

I have to live with people who are into this crap too. At least there's a door blocking, but they go in my room and I've left things out to be able to tell whether they do or not.

I was walking home and all the cars went to red, white, and green, and some gold I guess, as they were passing, and then I get to the house and was just going to make dinner.

The tea towel left out is red and white checks.

I went upstairs and there they are, wearing white and red, and on the counter they have red tomato out, with green zucchini, with white mozarella, on foccacia, and then they're having their weekly toast to some "team" and this time, the wine is Colombia Crest.

It would not be a big deal, and I wouldn't notice one single thing, if it were not for the fact that every week she comes over, on Sunday, it's the same thing, and a big theme with colors.

And whatever color they're wearing, the other people that live here are also wearing.

Last week it was blue, or silver. And, to go along with whatever the theme is, someone puts all kinds of color matching stuff in my living space. This week, it was a grey sock. On my kitchen counter where I prepare food.

A visit before it was blue, and my son was wearing a blue shirt with a penguin on it that said "south pole". The week before that he wore a red train shirt with "Lionel" as a name on it. And whatever color he shows up in, and in the past, it's been accompanied with a mark on one side of his body or the other, he also comes in with evidence of total brainwashing.

Only a couple of times has he shown up, recently, and in the past, with normal behavior like he's not been told to repeat something, with good memory, and affectionate.

Tonight, I walked out to get some snacks for my son, and his organic milk, and all the vehicles passing me were white, every single one, and then this woman is wearing white with red on it. When I was coming back from the store, all the cars going my direction were black and gold. Almost every single one. So then I'm sitting by the window, looking out, and here comes the parade of white car, then green car, then red car, repeat. White, green, red.

So I go upstairs, thinking where in the world can I move to where people are normal and this isn't done, and everything in the kitchen and the people on the couch, are in white, red, and then the food and towels are red, white, green. Then a different housemate comes out wearing red.

I went upstairs to make clams bc I only have one burner and didn't have the right pan. I had clams with fresh lemon and butter and then tortilla chips with guacamole and fresh salsa. Moscato too, which I guess is better with Asian but it's okay with this combo, and I just like it. The Barefoot brand isn't bad, for a cheap, sweet moscato, in my opinion. Very peachy. I also bought daffodils. I haven't bought flowers for awhile but whenever I have money I do. I don't know of anything I like more really, than flowers. I'm going to bring a stem to my son tomorrow.

I bought carrot cake too...but I wanted to bring home a slice of each. I think that MK-Ultra clip with the Russian girl carrying a cake and the story about how they put in white noise requesting cake and then people brought them cake...well, I think it got to me (just kidding). But seriously, I kept thinking, "cake sounds really good right now." I am thinking I should have bought chocolate cake too. I almost bought cream puffs, for my son to try, but I looked at the filling and it was just at a regular grocery store and I thought, "mmn, no." I don't want to spoil his first experience with cream puffs with second rate filling. I had a thing for cream puffs when I was younger, and made them myself with chocolate and vanilla cream filling, piping it in, and I like the more pudding-cream, true cream variety than the sort of frosting/lighter than air cornstarch stuff. The puffs should be flaky and light, but not the cream. I like the richest cream possible. I'm a pound cake person. Give me all of the fat. I like looking at the old James Beard and Good Housekeeping cookbooks, before they cut out fats, because while I think most foods are just as good without, and can be adjusted with spices, there are some things that taste 10x better with heavy cream, or butter, or even, lard. If people knew how much I ate, they'd be surprised I'm a normal weight. I really love food, and I think it's when you tell yourself "absolutely not" that you get into trouble, because then you want it even more. I don't believe in fad diets. I think, you cut out practical things or make small choices (butter or jam? mayo or cheese?) and then you can lose a lot of weight being careful to trim here and there. But some foods just need all that fat. Whoever heard of a lo-fat creme brulee? How disgusting.

There was the most magnificent (I reserve use of this word for special occasions) moon out tonight. Huge. Full, just looming over the horizon like a fantastic glowing midsummers eve orb, it is just enormous tonight. I glanced as I was walking and out came, "Oh my goodness!" and an intake of breath. I had no idea it was the night for full moon. It doesn't feel like a special night at all. It was only the moon that stood out, as being beautiful, tonight. I guess, silly me, I thought about Diana for one brief moment. More than that, I thought about my son.

On the Di topic, I thought it coincidental that I had so many people bring up "depression" to me, and I was reading one of the books, about her bout with depression at that point. Maybe someone read my mind as to what I was reading about. :) I am reading the Andrew Morton one, because many of the others will skew things. I'd like to have as firm a handle as I can, on her own opinions, before getting these confused with the other books and claims.

I also realized today, I bought a multi-vitamin but it's not a very good one. I supposed to be one daily but it only gives you 2% the RDA for potassium. And I was reading, even slightly low potassium causes muscle weakness and will or can affect your memory.

Images Today

I had only one and I didn't try for it. I think I had two but I couldn't remember the first one.

Also, someone came to mind but it wasn't an image. It was of a girl from India who I met at a bus stop in Tacoma, WA in the last few months. She said, "It was nice to meet you" and this came to mind, for whatever reason.

The only image I got was of a tile table like a patio table. I haven't seen one like it around here, and I used to have one, a long time ago, but it was parisian style on long legs and would only seat 2. This one was lower and it was red and white mosaic style on the table and maybe chairs, if not red, a russet or rust color. It was lower, regular height. Maybe it was sort of crimson and cream, but I didn't see a pattern of flowers at all, just a quick design and that it was inset tiles that had been broken at odd angles.

Couldn't tell where it was but I think outside and it was light, but I saw no people or other surroundings. Just the table and chairs.

It was sort of the way one might imagine you'd receive an impressionn of a still photograph of something and then someone has projected this image to you and you got it. Nothing was moving. It was more to the right than the left from the perspective I had.

Oh, and I had this idea, separately, of mashed potatoes and gravy. Kept thinking that sounded good and could see them, out of the blue.

Both images were this afternoon, before nighttime.

Some Of The Things Visitation Monitors Have Done

This will be a post about some of the things visitation monitors have done, themselves, during visits, or things they've instructed my son to do.

For starters, the last visit Michelle Erickson monitored, she told my son to "give Mama your booger." He looked at her and she said, "Remember? Show Mama your booger." She had told my son to save a booger and give it to me. My son did, innocently, and Michelle started laughing. I said, like a normal person would, "Honey, lets get a kleenex okay?" Michelle knew my son had a booger, and how he procured it I've no doubt she might have suggested this to him, and then knowing he had this, she TOLD him to "save" it and give it to me.

When my son was acting out what seemed to be sexual abuse by trying to french kiss me, lying on top of me, Michelle and Sue laughed out loud about it and exchanged looks, not that they were concerned as I was, but they thought it was something to smirk about.

The monitors regularly witnessed bruises which were abnormal, abnormal cuts on my son's fingers, a slice off of my son's face, and burn marks, and they either refused to write these things down or they dismissed it as normal and refused to do any proper documentation.

Michelle sneered at me on one occasion, telling me triumphantly that the police would not do anything about it, but I could go ahead and try but look at what happened last time I tried. She then, a few weeks later, told me she and the state workers could and WOULD put me on medication and would get a court order for it. After this, at the last visit she came barging into the room unnecessarily, which she's done in the past, to try to interrupt and provoke distress.

I was told by one monitor to choose a side, a gang affiliation, because it would be "in the best interests of your son." Then this new monitor, Anne, has made a similiar message and at every visit hands me some object with a phrase or message on it. My Dad said to me once "It's a new day" and ever since, people in Wenatchee have been saying this to me, and then Anne decided to dress in all red and green and then held two pens in her hand--one red and one green, and then gave me the green one which said, "It's a new stay." Anne has come into visits wearing the colors of whoever's "on top" and I have figured out several things about where some of it is coming from.

The first time she sat in on a visit, was right after I said I was going to get an investigation going, and then Sue came in and Anne came in with one wearing solid red and the other blue, and then the people out in the waiting room were all wearing red and blue.

It's been a game between men and former boyfriends, and every single time I go to the visitation room, the room is not straightened up like normal with things put away, every single visit, someone is laying out different objects which have been associated with a person or a gang. It's not like there are just a few things out of place randomly, as would be expected.

If it's an "Alvaro" day, they prop up the stuffed monkey, leave little cards with "A" all over the room, and put things out about the number 4 (which I can only figure is associated with his email address which contains this number), and have hispanic books there that were not there before. Then, my son goes about like he's been brainwashed to choose anything that's about "4" or blue. Or anything about construction trucks or vehicles. Then in my son's lunch, my aunt or uncle packed blueberry yogurt and a ham sandwich, and they switch what they put in even his lunch to match what is displayed in the room.

It's like my son gets programmed before the visits to select certain things and have his memory triggered. I said something to him about Sonia and instead of replying it was like a light went on and he straightened up and walked straight over to the yellow helicopter. When he told me he'd killed a spider, he smashed his fist down and said "With my fist!" and yet he couldn't tell me where the spider had been, where it was that he had "killed it". My son will hear one thing and then go to it like he's been brainwashed to, and then he's all over the place, sometimes not making sense.

Then, it's not just an "Alvaro" day, which the monitors (all of them) will dress up for accordingly, they have their days for when I stayed with one housemate or the other and someone will set things up a certain way.

I'll go into more definite descriptors.

At the Wenatchee Valley Medical center I was told to "Pick A or B!" In the visits, these monitors have said the same thing--pick a "side". When I was in Bainbridge Island, same thing, pick A or B.

Then there have been many, many, military and other "kinds" of operatives involved with me and/or my son, and they've all been going along with it, which is why I believe, if no one from the U.S. is helping or doing anything about this, it's coming from a larger organization which is using gangs (mafia/mob) as a cover.

Probably, most people think it's just their own community gang stuff, while only a few really know where it's coming from. I think, when I see so many military involved in my life, if no one is going to investigate and help my son, people in my own government are in on it and probably started it. Which, if true, would explain why I kept getting threats and how certain planes and helis were able to get uncommon clearance to fly in areas other civilians wouldn't be allowed to fly in, and why there is an effort to get dissinformation out there. It would explain why people on the East Coast seemed to know about things and believed me, and why I was visited by so many doctors, neurologists, and psychologists, as well as high ranking military. I was being sized up.

In the meantime, I had people alterately trying to frame me to go to jail for decades and then telling me my son needed my protection.

I KNOW my son needs my protection, and obviously, now I can see WHY. But WHO is helping me with that??? One minute I'm being set up to go to jail and the next I'm told "Go back to Wenatchee, your son needs your protection"? I had several people come out of the woodwork to play disturbing calls where I could hear my son in distress on the other end, and there were a lot of people who knew he needed protection.

So I come back to Wenatchee as soon as my health permitted, and I see that he needs protection, but no one who is decent or honorable in the U.S., who is from outside of this area, will step in and get involved.

Instead, my own lawyer and all the people here gang together to BLOCK me from getting my son back, from documenting abuse, the contents of our visits, and even from documenting how corrupt they all are.

When I separated from my ex, people in the state offices withdrew everything and tried to, essentially, punish me. They claimed I was nuts again, went from saying they were doing a 20 hour psych eval to a 3 hour one, strung me along and delayed on increasing visitation, started lying more in the visit notes, brought a security guard in again and claimed he needed to stay, and my public defenders decided to do nothing to help me, at ALL.

I guess the big money pot went away in May and Wenatchee decided they could stick it to me ever since.

Or they figured it would just be easier now, with him out of the way. Now they could screw me over and it would be cake.

As for state officials and federal officials, in this area at least, I was punished by being jerked around on housing, on my unemployment claim, and told and I had the CIA on my ass in Seattle. Or, highly, highly, intelligenct people approaching me telling me there was a CIA branch in the town and that they DID do domestic work. My ex told me he worked with the...

I'll leave that alone for now.

Many of the people I've been dealing with in the last couple of years have been connected, and I'm about to get into more details, but I'll leave it alone for now.

I got sidetracked, as I was thinking about all the shitty games the state has played with my case, and just the trash I get in the visits, and my own defense attorney told me he didn't even want to meet my son. Some zealous defender. That guy goes out of the country and I just want to know where and who he was meeting up with there. Then one of the other workers says her kids, at least one of them, works for the Department of Defense and then says it's not true.

I want my son.

I hope most of these people I've talked about, especially with what's happening in this state, have been bugged and wire-tapped.

Evidence of U.S./Russian/Chinese Use Of Hypnosis

This clip has a woman read from actual CIA and Russian manuals about hypnotizing subjects in order to get them to do immoral or harmful acts against their will, and how misinformation to the public is to be used to conceal the truth.

The information was gathered through the Freedom Of Information Act request process.

Added To Post About Experiments On Children

I added to the post about experiments on children, which still go on today.

I watched a new testimony about the experiments done on a woman. She talks about being alive by the grace of God, about attempts to abuse her and then have her turn around and kill things, in order to train her to be an assassin, but the experiments began when she was a child. She was also given radiation treatments and medications which made her throw up and one of her guardians was in on it and "cooperated".

I wrote much more information about experiments performed on children by the u.s. in the last post, I added to it and my own thoughts about my son and what military or other undercover persons the u.s. might want to have exposed, if nothing is done. I have not made a deadline exactly, but I am very close to divulging all I know.

I don't know what this is about, but I thought this comment was an interesting thing to follow up on--children harmed in Ireland:

LadyJustice666 (2 months ago) Show Hide +3 Marked as spam
Reply What a brave soul.

I do not feel the experiment ended then as I know in Ireland in 1995 children were to be removed from their parents for being too intelligent and shock to be used.

We never got an answer from the Minister for children etc.

I also watched this clip, about testimony that these experiments are still going on and some of the former children still monitored. One has been harassed, received calls, hate mail, vandalism to her house, and there are some skeptics as well:

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Ways To Spend Time, Money, and Talent

Instead of playing "musical chairs" with driving back and forth, your gas money could be used to drive to a shelter and help out. Your gas money could be used to support someone whose support is needed. You could use your gas money to save up and buy a ticket to help someone overseas who needs your help, and learn something about the world too.

Instead of spending time thinking of petty ways to play a mind game with a mother, you could be putting that energy into prayer, working on the local city board to try to get new laws in which would benefit others, make a report about some aggregious wrongdoing, making a lavish dinner for your own family.

You could spend time educating yourself on the founding principles of this country, and reading the news and watching programs which would remind you of how many other people in other countries would love to have your freedoms and prosperity and believe you don't deserve it (and maybe you don't).

Declaration Of Independence & Other

One popular pamphlet, which promoted the argument of separation from England, was Thomas Paine's "Common Sense". From wiki:

"Paine donated his royalties from Common Sense to George Washington's Continental Army, saying:

As my wish was to serve an oppressed people, and assist in a just and good cause, I conceived that the honor of it would be promoted by my declining to make even the usual profits of an author.[7]
—Thomas Paine"

Do you realize, that America was a country where the "oppressed" sought refuge? They sought refuge from those who lorded their authority and power over them unfairly. In fact, it was common, in that time, to pay an "indulgence" of sorts, a very high tax to England, when England in return, at that time, did not respect the rights of the people. England wanted the oppressed to pay them, and yet they gave them no liberty in return.

It is hardly different, in the U.S. now, or in Wenatchee, where certain people have assumed positions and then wish to exercise their power over the oppressed while denying them due process of law.

The behavior of people in this town, in official positions, is some of the most Anti-American behavior I've ever witnessed.

Do you understand, when so many generations have passed since we've experienced war in this country, on this land, do you realize that WE were "the oppressed"? We were not rich. We were not the World Power. We were rebels, and we didn't fit in or go along with "the system", and we disagreed and while believing we were equal and that we had the same rights as the man next door, we were oppressed. We were not given freedom and liberty to be completely independent. No, we were told we had better stick with the gang and way things were, or we'd be in jail. Some were not even allowed to practice the religion we wanted to practice because we were told we had to go to the same church and be a part of the same following that everyone else was in. Our lands? Some of us had land in England, but we were told to give it up, to richer landlords. We were starved and denied work until we were forced to sell and give up what we held most dear.

And yet you turn around, in your prosperity now, forgetting everything that was fought for in the past, and you act as lords and abuse your powers, to deny others certain freedoms which are guaranteed by the consitution, to be ours.

We didn't even HAVE a constitution or declaration of independence in England. We were not recognized as "equals". You either fit in or you didn't. You were either born and raised there and had a kind of heritary claim or you were an outsider or a "rebel". Of course the "rebels" were likely "unchristian", "unfaithful", "mentally ill", and "at risk". So they go to America and after fighting battle after battle, they WIN. They win WHAT?!

What do they win???! They win their fucking independence. They win the right to have their own land where they make their own rules, which they decide should never allow any group of persons to control others the way they have been controlled. They win the right to make laws that every citizen can fall back on and be thankful for and protected by. They win the right to NOT have to pay unfair taxes or dues to persons who deny them their basic rights. They win the right to pay the same equal tax that every citizen should pay to support the country, but not to line the pockets of others, and they win the right to not have to pay corrupt officials bribes and extra "taxes" just to have their rights respected.

But here in Wenatchee, there is no "freedom". There is no such thing as being "independent", and they even have a kind of hereditary claim to the land and the offices. Either you were born and raised here, or you marry in, or you pay your way in.

Every single thing that the country was founded on, the whole premise of liberty and equality, is trampled by those in power in Wenatchee. Or, who are in power in a larger vicinity, those who have decided they are the Kings and The Parliament and that THIS is the new order in America. That the rich shall rule over the poor. That those who come into power, by proceeds of the rich, shall rule over the poor.

Calling For A Draft Of All Men & Women

I guess I'm concerned.

I joke about "green" when it's one of my favorite colors, but I joke about it after seeing green lights everywhere, and all hell breaks loose. There was no bad association with green and the image I saw and I don't believe it had anything to do with a person. It looked more like some part of machinery of a kind. I also met someone that same day who was very nice, and wearing green, and what's the big deal? So all the green lights were out tonight, not on the hill except for a couple, and it was just devils all over town. I write just a few things off the cuff, kidding or not, about green, and something goes down in town and that is how messed up this town is. That, I guess after I joke a little about the visitation monitors with my son.

I am really getting so frustrated with everything. I am probably going to move when possible to live next to an old friend so I have protection and witness for the mayhem.

There were SO many BAD people out and about tonight. I walked out and in my short walk, it was a total zoo, and a lot of the bad energy was coming from people in nicer vehicles. Newer trucks, subaru station wagons, and SUVs. A few beaters too, but I only saw, out of all of them, maybe 10% looking normal or concerned or appearing to have their wits about them. The rest were off the charts mad-laughing like madmen and women, and I swear to God, some of the horrible expressions I've seen on older women's faces really frightens me. I mean, very devious, smirking, cat-caught-the-canary looks and really, sort of evil.

I felt really sorry for Wenatchee tonight. I mean, sorry for humanity in general it was such a spectacle.

I thought, I need to get ahold of my old friends and ask them, really, if they know what's going on at all.

I feel very, very, worried for the people who are out there tonight and for this town and actually, this country. I was thinking tonight, which is the most horrible thought to enter my mind in such a long time, "Just send the brats off to war" or "Maybe the U.S. needs to be invaded". That is the first time I have ever had such a thought. I started thinking "Ninevah" again and then I just thought, "Dear God, this is out of control" and I thought, if there is this much time on hands to cause problems within the U.S.A., they should take their fights and business and wars somewhere else. If they want to fight, and go after little kids and mothers, these yuppie brats pulling strings need to go off to a real war. I was thinking about a serious draft tonight. "How do we get RID of them?" was my first thought? and get these so-called men who are the bullies, to shape up, if it's even possible?

It's like they need a serious draft and need to witness firsthand, what a real war is about and looks like. Stop screwing up the country from the inside assholes.

Then I thought, no, a few of these guys come back from a real war and then they're worse than ever.

So then I thought, maybe all these people, women included, including the smirking housemakers and career women, maybe they all need to be drafted out for a different kind of service, like "community service" to the world, for at least 2 years. Stick them out in a 3rd world country to serve others and see what real poverty and hardship is and have them live it, and then see if they can manage to be better people and have a different set or order of priorities about what is FUCKING important in life.

If these people have time, the rich ones, to rub their hands together and try to make money off of mischief, and if the rest of the others, are willing to waste their time playing mind games and driving all over the place, this is energy and time which should be spent ABROAD. Obviously, these people are so spoiled they don't even know how to be productive in the U.S.

They whine and gripe about "the economy" and then spend their time devising mind games, as just really pathetic and corrupt as it gets, to keep other people down and amuse themselves, and let the country go to SHIT. And then these bottom-rung people who work in state offices in this town, for example, whine and complain about budget cuts when they don't even know how to manage the talents and money they have. Meanwhile, they find plenty of time to get together and come up with creative new ways to be assholes.

If these people are going to deprive others of real justice and can't even manage to do the basics for equality and freedom, I almost wonder if it's time for this country to be really hit with a real war. Suddenly, some of these assholes wasting all their time abusing their authority and money and abusing the constitution and bill of rights, might have something to legitimately be concerned about.

It's like that saying about the first generation makes the money, the second generation invests it and the third generation spends it. This generation is so far removed from what the country was founded on to begin with, it's like people are sitting around eating cake and getting into internal fights on the side, trying to get ahead through corruption and other alliances, and all of the laws and morals, have been completely forgotten.

This is predominantly a generation of weak willed, lazy, corrupt, and arrogant individuals.

All of the hard work, and sacrifices, and blood shed, just to even HAVE a country with some semblance of equality and lawfulness, and respect for rights, freedom, and conscience, is forgotten.

If our founding fathers could take one look at the way people are presenting in this country and the way they choose to spend their time, they'd probably tell them it's time to go back to the farm. While U.S. citizens are busy running these kinds of big games over petty things, there are millions and billions of people in other countries, watching at what's going on and just waiting for the structure to weaken a little more, and as the U.S. is distracted with class-conscious idiocy, they are looking for their "in". If they haven't already found it, being able to blend in as long as they appear to be going along with the group gang-think.

I look at some of the smug faces in cars driving by tonight, and just thought, "They have absolutely no idea." They have NO clue, what kinds of things other people want to do to THEM and to this country, just to get in and take advantage of some things that others are fully squandering away.

But no! instead of mitigating against untold disaster, which all the intelligence agencies say is a very real and present danger, by either serving outside of the country to be a more well-rounded and sympathetic person with better priorities, and instead of serving the country outside by even a peace-keeping officer, all these bored, spoiled, malcontents that are U.S. citizens are stirring up trouble with their own brothers and sisters, and mocking them and depriving their own countrymen of justice. We were all given the same "bowl of soup" and yet we have these people who are not satisfied with their share and have to take what is given to someone else as well.

Wenatchee is just an example of what others in different parts of the country are doing as well. Starting wars and inviting corruption into the country, to benefit themselves short-term and amuse themselves as they think no one on the outside is looking in and just looking for that right opportunity to take everything they have and more. But no, apparently, some Americans are so secure with their own safety, this doesn't even cross their mind.

You should be ashamed of yourselves.

But you're not. You're delighted with the petty games and don't mind harming others, and yet you have no idea how you are going to reap what you sow. Do you think other people in other countries admire this kind of behavior? No, it only gives them justification for saying the citizens of the United States are lazy, corrupt, immoral, and should be wiped off the face of the earth.

I say, if these bored assholes who are ruining this country, top to bottom, cannot be transfered OUT into other duties abroad until they figure out what's important in life, there should be a new American law implemented that every American citizen must serve community service in another country for 2 years.

The only problem is that some of these people, raised by other moral cowards, would just go abroad and form corrupt alliances there to bring back here. I would hope, though, that most minds would be changed after being stripped of the few good things they have in life, to see real suffering and real war and trauma. America needs a better education about what the responsibilities are, of this country, and how much blood was shed, and for WHAT PURPOSE.


I just read it. It's good and should be read but I think I meant the Declaration of Independence.

No Migraine & Medication Without Consent(?)

Additionally, to document, I did not have a migraine or any kind of headache at all, prior to my period this month, and I didn't even have a headache of any kind after my period. Which is extremely unusual. I also didn't have a completely normal period--it was lighter.

I am not on any new medications to my knowledge. I am not taking any medications at all, and only a few Ibuprofen now and then.

They tested my thyroid and horomones and everything was normal--I'm not in any kind of pre-menopause or anything at all. It's high to normal. So this didn't affect my migraines.

The only thing which was abnormal again was the potassium, which was low, and it's rare and uncommon to have abnormally low potassium, especially with a normal diet.

I find it very strange that I was being denied giving blood and the excuses don't add up. If I ever find out I've received any kind of medication without my consent, I will do whatever possible to sue for damages.

I don't see when this could have been done unless I ate something someone gave me, or it would be through a shot I received at the hospital, and wasn't told exactly what was in the shot.

We'll see. The truth surfaces eventually.

I also find it strange that I had no period the entire time I worked at the Post Pub (or during that time, not saying the Pub had anything to do with it) and then was with my fiance, and then it suddenly returned 3 months after Alvaro left. It's like someone had me on birth control or something that caused my periods to dwindle to almost nothing. Somehow I still got pregnant in the middle of this and yet a large group didn't want me to have that baby or any babies. All that time that I was so worried about what happened to my periods, and what was wrong with my body, and then they just return like clockwork when I'm on my own and buying my own food? Of course and then people want to kill me and are chasing me all over the place as I'm wondering why, and this woman is literally trying to put me into a psych ward in Seattle with zero grounds. After seeing what some happens to some people in psych wards, courtesy of the youtube videos about experimentation, thank God I know how to hold my own a little bit while under pressure.

Then, they're just suddenly back "to normal" 3 months after my fiance leaves? Normal, until this last period I had, where people didn't want me to give blood to the Red Cross.

I just think it's strange. I am not going to jump to conclusions, but I think I'm right to wonder.

Perhaps someone somewhere was trying to help me, but I would think, if they knew I needed help, they would tell me and let me know what I was being given. I have a right to know.

So then, it also makes me wonder at Michelle Erickson barging into my visit with my son, to provoke me, and then to only find out she wants me to see the psychiatrist so she and the state can try to get their "meds" shit going, which they know is completely wrong. At the same time, I'm wondering, okay, my Dad went to Vancouver? Why? That's where I saw that psychologist. Was he trying to influence her?

I also wonder why, when I had the MRI, the nurse refused to let me watch to see what was going into my arm when she gave me an IV or shot of something. She said it was just "contrast" for the MRI, so why couldn't I look? I tried to raise my head and look over and the nurse pushed me back down and told me not to move.

There are so many things I'm questioning right now.

I guess I'm also curious as to why the doctor was so interested in my pancreatic function, yesterday, at the hospital.

I swear to God, if I ever find out someone has given me any kind of medication without my consent, I will be suing each and every person involved and responsible. Every single one.

The shit will hit the fan, if I find out I've ever been medicated, and if anyone tries to force me to take any medications to get my son back or claims I'm in non-compliance if I don't, the shit is hitting the fan and it will be worldwide.

My Red Cross Blood Deferral

Does anyone else thinks it's strange that my ID for donating blood was being singled out and set apart, and then I was deferred for low hemoglobin, when one week later, it was normal?

I'm told hemoglobin doesn't go up like that. The nurse said to me, "Maybe they didn't test correctly at the Red Cross."

Um, maybe they just didn't want my blood for some reason, because there are people who know or believe there is something wrong with it, because they know what has happened to me isn't a lie.

I had two tests done at Red Cross. I thought probably I wasn't anemic at all, it was that someone wanted to keep my blood out of the donation for some reason.

I do not have any STD at all and everyone knows this, including doctors. So it's not that.

But they didn't want my blood and were singling it out and giving me a different ID donor number for the batch, and then I go in and my hemoglobin is fine and it's not possible for it to be up so high. Especially if I'd just had my period, which I did, so that should have made it lower, not higher.

Use Of Children In U.S. Experiments (real documentation)

Here is a clip about the use of children in government funded experiments. This woman's account details what happened to her all the way up until the 80s. It is her testimony before a committee in Washington D.C. It's difficult to hear, my volume isn't very good, but this is the true testimony of a woman who was subjected to abuse for the purpose of experiments, for over 3 decades until the 80s, and yet people thought these programs were quit in the 60s or 70s. They weren't.

Here is another clip about programs the U.S. had (and has still) using children to purposefully create personality problems in children. They caused children to be separated from parents, raped intentionally before the age of 3, to witness violence against humans and animals, in order to break down the child and vulnerable to dissosiation so they are easily brainwashed and easy to hypnotize or control through mind control. The CIA and U.S. then determined they would use these individuals for assassination work, or try to see if they could be trained for sexual blackmail or a number of other "careers" where feelings and emotions were not desired or wanted to get in the way. President Clinton apologized for some of these programs publicy in 1993 or 1995. However, while then they were using former Nazi doctors on U.S. citizens and clearing them of any crime, now they have a new generation os willing physicians and "workers". Documentation for all these studies exists:

You wonder why, with all the pleading I've made, for help for my son, no one in the U.S. is doing anything. After seeing some of these clips and reading studies, you start to realize, it's because no one in the U.S. government cares, and if anything, they are directly involved and contributing. Why have such great lengths been gone to, to control this case and then to force people to allow access to my son? What looks like gang involvement is very likely also connected directly to the U.S. military, CIA or DOD. There is a long history of the two working for eachother, and covering for eachother, and no one has done one thing to even remove the blocks which keep me from being able to objectively document what is happening to my son, and how he is demonstrating brainwashing in our visits, comes in with evidence of abuse, and how these state workers have gone along to conceal this crime and have even smirked and joined in the mind games themselves, maybe, from their naive perspective, thinking it only relates to their group or gang, and not even having a clue as to where this originating from or who is blocking and controlling this process. My son has been subjected to countless forms of abuse and my aunt and uncle just go along with it and yet they probably do not even "get it". These people know that if my son is with me, he is at least safe enough to where I would not allow anyone access to do these things.

They will use and abuse my son and then just turn around and try to have him adopted out altogether when they're done.

I have a LOT of information about U.S. military to divulge shortly. The only reason I have withheld is out of respect for the safety of others, and yet no one is interested enough in the safety or wishes of my son.

I was even willing to be diagnosed however anyone wanted, just in return for time with my son, increased visitation and to see good faith or see SOME semblance of a defense, but my public defender can't manage to do anything.

I am to the point where I have very little incentive for keeping my mouth shut about anything anymore, and that would mean pointing a finger at many people in the military who may also be in gangs, but military for sure, and CIA as well, along with a special sniper.

You just let me know how many "covers" you want to sacrifice over depriving a mother and son from their reunion. If I were you, or anyone important at all, I would start making some phone calls. I'm sure that if someone is able to pull strings to organize better handling of me and my case if I'm with Alvaro, they can do the same thing if I'm not with him. I'm also sure that whoever is influencing how blocked this case is, can also get in there and start immediately influencing how this opens up.

It's one mother and son, or many, many, military and people with covers, who will be exposed. It would probably be an issue. You have the money, the resources, and the ability, and it's how you choose to use it. My son has been a hostage, frankly, as have I, and while I have been very worried about and sympathetic torwards others, I am only thinking about my son now, when I have been given no hope. If you want to jeopardize all these other people and their positions, and see how many people would lose faith, on a number of levels, I would figure out a way to work together and no, you are not going to kill me. You are going to unlock the doors and quit abusing my son. You are not going to use me for your own purposes, you are not going to try to frame me, you are not going to try to discredit me further or try to put me on mind-altering and dumbing drugs. You are going to do what I say, because if you don't, I have no interest in anyone else's safety. My son is not going to be sacrificed, for you.

I'm wondering if I should start calling the new visitation monitor "Jane Goodall". Or both of them possibly. Anne is new and was trained by Sue when there are 3 different visitation monitor groups with at least 2-3 dozen willing monitors, but the controls on who is involved in this case with my son have been extremely tight and rigid.

The people involved have been handpicked and then no one else allowed to get involved, unless that person is trusted and then trained and brought in new.

Michelle lied about no one else wanting to monitor the visits because I called all the different agencies and I also found out she lied about the number of people available at the agency Sue was from. I did my own work and discovered there were many monitors willing to watch the visits, but Michelle and her supervisors have wanted this to go to specific hands.

I'm going to write more about what kinds of things these monitors are writing down too, and what it is they feel is so important. Not only are a lot of things distorted in the interactions between us, with the visitation notes, but these monitors have been quick to write down specific things about which color of crayon my son uses first, which book he chooses out of a bunch, what phrases are uttered, and then they not only put this information into state computer databases, the information gets disseminated all over town.

And yet, they cannot bear to have audio recording of what is actually being said.

I should describe the kind of "symbolic" crap they set the room up with each time too.

At any rate, while looking up remote viewing, I came across mind control clips and information and then I found some things about the ways children have been and are being used in experiments.

Introduction To Remote Viewing & Mind Control 3rd gen. guy who worked for the CIA and then when he decided to talk they tried to discredit him as "paranoid schitzophrenic". This post is a work in progress: I have to edit and sort out the remote viewing clips from the mind control bc they're related but also totally different. The other day, within the last few days, I got an impression of the phrase: "Third generation psychic spy" but I didn't know who it was referring to or who was supposed to have said it.

Fox news clip about this guy, and about the psychic program with CIA and its whereabouts now.

This is a good introductory clip which helps to explain what remote viewing is or the history. I've found some to be even more interesting or shocking, but this is a general overview.

Okay class, but let's imagine this experiment with machines and connecting to the machines, just imagine some welfare mother tells people she's able to do this herself. Even I think the machine thing sounds weird, but it's not outside the realm of possibility. But wouldn't someone who claims to affect machines sound completely paranoid schitzophrenic?

I found many clips about this phenomenon, of psi, so doubters and skeptics, be prepared to open your minds, and if you think this doesn't happen or isn't possible or isn't being used by most country's, you're wrong. I will add some footage from the Russian psychic too.
Here is a clip about Joe McMoneagle, being candid about the stigmatism of psychic powers and yet how he still gets government clearance. A lot of people don't want to admit to even believing in psychic phenomena because they're worried they'll be called nuts:
Here's a short experiment where he tries to guide the man to go with the first impression and see what's there:
Here's another very simple tutorial on acheiving the state of mind needed to try to gather impressions. She looks very psychedelic and not as professional, but what she's saying is right, and people come in all forms, and the gift or ability is the same no matter whether you are conservative and wear a suit or are a hippie. From what I've read, this ability tends to be strongest in some of the types you'd never expect, but they keep it hidden out of fear for their careers or being called nuts:
Now, here is some of the more shocking stuff. Footage about experiments from the government in mind control. This one is more tame. I have to find the one I saw the other day because that one is very shocking, it was even for me: This one is by National Geographic and talks about mind control experiments, but old ones.

Here is a clip but I don't like how it's split screen througout--more distracting, but the information is accurate:

What most Americans do not realize, is that these same kinds of experiments are happening today, and they are given access to perform this kind of research without consent because of a clause in law that allows for such experiments during "times of war" without requiring any consent from the participant. This includes regular civilians, although military is usually targeted first, and it does not have to appear that there is any kind of formal structure--one doesn't have to be in a lab to be under observation or the target of an experiment.

I'd like to find this one clip I saw the other day, which was very good, but I'm still looking for it. After I find it, I'll go back to posting more information about remote viewing and psychic abilities.

All of this is considered to be mind science and inter-related.

I can't find it. It was really good and had much more detail about the kinds of mind control experiments which were done and still done. I have to find it, because it will open up a lot of minds! I was even surprised.
So who wants to take me out to dinner?
Oh! Here it is! It's on the Russian experiments but then the U.S. also conducted these experiments. It speaks about both Russian and American experiments and weapons used for actual mind control. I found this clip to be extremely informative and the sense that it leads one to want to know more and it also speaks about modern experiments. If they were doing this stuff and had these techniques in the 60s, imagine what they have now. It talks about conferences even in 1993. So this is still being used and is in development even now:

Music Today

I woke up with that Karate Kid song in my head "The Glory Of Love". Then I started thinking about the hanserd song. But I'll play "The Glory Of Love" song, it's the one that goes, "I am one man, who will fight for your honor..."

I found a clip but it wasn't a good recording so I looked for a another clip and found this. I don't really like this kind of music at all, but I like the montage, and haven't seen that movie forever:

Here's a real clip. It has Spanish subtitles but is the original video and has the best sound so far:

It makes me think of when I was a kid. My brother was karate chopping all over the house, with a bandana around his head, and I remember trying that one kick, over and over and over, where you jump up high, spin in the air and kick your other foot out. Jumping off of stuff to get more leverage. I seriously practiced that move a lot.

The only thing that bothers me about this video is watching Peter Cetera. Sorry Peter. I think it's the 80s hair or the expressions or maybe how he resembles the bully from the clips, the one who the japanese mentor pinches the nose of. The song is so over-the-top romantic, it almost bothers me but I can't help but to like the song, for the melody and theme I guess, and how it brings back so many memories of me and my brother, and probably countless other kids were ispired too, to start pretending they were kick ass karate champions. I haven't seen those movies forever, but I do like the underdog theme and the idea of honor too.

I felt really good energy listening to this song this morning and making this post about it. Just a rush of very good energy.
Listened tonight, to Gary Jules "Mad World", then Green Fields of France in both English and German, then "Will Ye Go Lassie" traditional scottish song and then, my favorite find, "Suiul a run" by Celtic Woman and sang to this one several times. I looked up the lyrics for this one and here they are, in both English and Gaelic: My favorite part is the line about "(I would cry) 'til every tear would turn a mill."

I also like "Cad E Sin Don Te Sin", the lyrics especially. Some of the best folk lyrics are celtic I think. I like the phrase, "Since it's no one's concern, then no one should care."

Oh, I also heard a song in Russian which was really pretty, something about "Soldier's Song" and a lot about cranes in the sky. Really beautiful. I am listening to a lot of Orla Fallon tonight, her Gaelic songs. I liked this response to Calling Home The Calves, by some unknown Greek singer who is actually pretty good. The horn in the background though...I almost fell asleep while listening to this song, and thought, "It's white noise! what's behind the white noise! CIA mind control!!!! aaaaahhhhggghghhhh!" (just kidding). Slight tears in the eyes (brief, not falling) with Carrickfergus and Or on the harp:

Image of Man Hunting

I had several images this morning, even very early morning and I was going to write them all down but said I would and slept more and forgot. The last one I had, which I remembered because it was most recent, was of a man, I was behind the man as if he was walking in front, and he had a dog to his left and was carrying a rifle in his hand.

This was about an hour ago or so.

I saw it in a flash type of image and then I was able to go back to it and confirm which side everything was on.

He was walking through ankle high to knee high beige grass. He carried the rifle with his left hand, but he was holding it somehow with just one hand.

Somehow I knew he was white but obviously didn't see hair color or face. I think he was white at least.

That was my first initiation impression: the grass, the angle, the gun and how it was held, I didn't see anything in the right hand but I don't know because I just didn't see that hand at all, and then the dog on the left.

When I went back to try to get more, I thought maybe he was wearing some kind of boots and then camoflague pants, like army style camoflague. I also want to say a hat like a baseball type of hat but I don't know for sure.

The only part which threw me was the kind of dog because it wasn't like a lab or a golden or the german short hair or anything. It was more like that wolf/fox/coyote dog style I saw so that's where I wondered if it was imagination instead of image but it did flash up just like an image out of nowhere, and isolated from all my other thoughts. It was sort of like a border collie type or a smaller German shepherd type but resembled, from the back, more features of a wolf type dog.

The man was tall.

It seemed to be in present time, but I couldn't be positive. I did think though, that it was reflecting someone was out hunting today, or shooting or outdoors.

I'm going to make a post about remote viewing so people know what this is.

Need Documentarian: Why I Don't Like Using Color

This is exactly why I don't like using color or even bringing it up. The minute I do, half the town is going along with it. I say something about metal sticks being connected with green, and then the entire East Wenatchee, practically, is lit up with green lights. I never said the image I got was a good one or a bad one.

I used to enjoy talking about anything and having it mean nothing, and anymore, I cannot say one single thing about even a color without someone making it into something significant or thinking it's a nod in someone's direction when it's not.

At any rate, some of the things that happen here should be captured on videocamera, because I do not make this stuff up.

My son wants his mother, number one. Number two, my son wants friends, and he doesn't want friendship with people that serve themselves to his detriment and against his own wishes and desires, and who allow harm to come to him, and who only want money and power and would even allow him to be used for their own purposes.

I came out of my ER trip today, to find a man just sitting out there in the lobby, wearing a Gonzaga jacket with some bulldog on it, and on his computer, pretending not to notice me but noticing. He just sat there and wasn't even seeing anyone for an appointment, or waiting on anyone. Then he left, after some time. I need to cut and paste this part into a different post.

I also need to talk to Will. Maybe someone else too, I don't know.

The last couple of weeks my son seemed a little bit better. I want him to be okay this coming Monday.

I also want to know who got hurt tonight. I don't like how that military nurse guy said something about the grand finale and kept doing things in 3s.

Wenatchee NEEDS Help: Violence Out Of Control

How many times do I have to ask for help? This town needs more people and probably, troops of a peacekeeping nature.

People are getting seriously hurt.

I intuited something was going on tonight and I said, "I think there has been a fight" and I was at the ER and knew this guy in the green shirt knew what I was talking about.

Anyway, I'm going to say it. The image I had of the silver or metal, was connected with green. I don't know that it's good. I have no idea but I don't like what's going on and I know my aunt and uncle suffer and see my son suffer.

I then was leaving and an ambulance comes up and it looked like someone in a red shirt maybe in the back but I couldn't see. I felt, as I was walking away, that I wanted to turn around and go back and see who it was. But I was afraid the security guards would be all over me. I started to wonder if they were trying to get rid of me because they were bringing in someone I would recognize.

Then I ran into these people wearing black and white and green and were sort of smug and I said I thought there had been a lot of violence tonight and she said it had been a busy night, there was "a game" and fights.

I feel like the police over here, not all, but most, are feeding into this culture. I had never before, in my LIFE, been to any city or town where there is a fight, guaranteed, every single Friday night. And since I've been here, things have only gotten stranger and escalated into some newer more bizarre game and somehow, I've been involved in the middle without wanting to be.

This town needs serious help. There are these rich people and they're bored, I guess, and trying to find more ways to make money, and then the middle class and poor class, are bored and get into so much mischief because apparently there's nothing better to do.

Reported Sexual Harassment

I reported sexual harassment to the police tonight. Another incident. This time, I gave out the license plate number and just reported. It is one thing to not know if someone intends for you to see them doing something in the truck, and like I said, I think there was more to it than met the eye, and then some guy pulling up alongside to yell out and harass and not leave and say demeaning things and things like, "I know you like Mexican FOOD, don't you?"

I won't publish his license plate publicly because I already gave it to the police.

Friday, January 29, 2010

Security Harassment at Clinic

I need to document, I don't know who would have called for security, but I was discharged at five minutes until 11 p.m., and called for a ride and this front desk woman offered a cup of coffee, and I thought okay, great. I sat down and have been sitting here for a half hour total and only two nurses have gone back and forth and then a security guard came in and of all things, approaches me.

I was sitting here in the waiting room for a half hour total and I was approached by a security guard. I asked the guard if there was a problem and he said, "Have you already been seen?" and I said "yes". He said, hovering over me, "And you're leaving?" I said, "I'm waiting for a ride, yes." He said, "Do you know how much longer it will take?" and I said, "Is there a problem? I'm sitting here quietly and you come over and act like I'm doing something wrong. I've been here for a half hour." The guard looked at me and said, "I just want to be sure you have a ride."

Obviously, someone called this guard. There was no guard before, and it was only me and the front desk woman, who offered coffee and I sat down to wait. I was on the laptop and that was it.

The only people to even come out was a small family whose son had been crying in the room the entire time I was there. The one nurse, man, who told me he was military, walked out about this time. I had mixed feelings about that guy--he was nice but maybe a couple of small mind games. Nothing big, just the comment about getting rest and setting things out in 3s and talking about "the grand finale". He acted nice though and like he was really glad to meet me but I have no idea anymore, not with the more bizarre things happening around me. I asked him what might cause chronic abnormally low levels of potassium and he said diet but that doesn't make any sense. I've never had a problem with my diet, and most foods are high in potassium, and from my online reading and research, low potassium is uncommon and more rare. I liked him, in general, thought he was friendly--just don't know him well enough. I do not believe he would call security, but who knows. However, he was already leaving. One female nurse that kept pacing back and forth, I cannot stand. She just glared at me everytime she walked by and I don't care for this. The other nurse that came by was a man by the name of Ab. I asked the front desk woman if she'd called and she said no. She said, "Was he just checking in general, or on you?" and I said, "He walked over to me, only me, after coming out of the ER room, where, actually, that female nurse had gone back to, and came out and approached me asking me when I was leaving.

The family that came out had a little boy with them whose face had been marked with a black marker like a tiger's, by one of the nurses or doctors I was told, and the father was wearing a t-shirt with a tiger on it. I figured it was a way to calm and entertain the child, and maybe a few adults as well. What was a little strange was that someone said it was to mark "possible swelling" for tomorrow, but the kid had full-on whiskers painted on his face and then little dots at the top too.

Then this other guy walked out and then walked back and the security guard followed him, and why, I've no idea. He was tall, blond, and wore a green long sleeved shirt and looked back and forth.

At any rate, I'm pissed anyone would call security to come over and harass me without cause. It was uncalled for and I'm documenting it. Who knows, maybe someone just called the security guard over to harass me, after the new nurse guy, the military guy from out of the area (traveling nurse) had left. I have no idea.

I should use remote viewing more, and ask God to somehow bless this gift and increase it and help me to use it for my own good and the good of those I love, as well as whomever God wants to learn of it. Probably, many times I've received an image or something that wasn't even for people I love, but maybe people who hate me, and yet God wanted to show them something and let even them know that he cares about them, or cares about me and sees all.

I'll have to make a different post, but the other day I watched some youtube clips about remote viewing. I think that's a different post.

Lucky Guess (Military)

I had a lucky guess and that's all it was, or I would classify it as "intuitive".

My nurse came in at the end and something just struck me, where it didn't before, I saw a flash of his shoes, which were black, but all I saw was black and this flash of black military boots came to mind. I looked again at his shoes. They were plain low-top sneakers, tennis shoes. But the image I got was of him in the military with black combat boots.

I said, "Were you in the military?" and he said yes. I said next, "Did you have black combat boots?" and he said, "Yeah, well we had a lot of kinds," and he went on to describe army green jumper boots. I said, "No, black boots. Did you have black combat boots?" and he said yes, all his boots had been black and even the army ones, which were only camoflague or green at the very top.

What I felt was interesting was that when he digressed onto some army green boots, I kept coming back to the black boots and finally, this ended up being the color they all were, with one pair just having green at the top he said.

Iron Jump & Potassium

I'm kind of surprised but I guess nothing should be surprising--I just don't know what it means. My hemoglobin is normal. It's 12.6 or more. I asked if it was normal for hemoglobin to go from 11.5 to 12.6 in one week and the doctor said it was pretty unusual He said something about this being almost a pint of blood.

So then I asked if anything else was abnormal and it was just my potassium--it was just a point below the cut-off mark. So it was technically abnormally low but barely so. He said the main symptom with this is muscle weakness and I guess I've had some cramping but didn't think about it.

Weird Image of Metal Sticks or Poles

I had kind of a weird image tonight. I closed my eyes for a minute and was going to pray and something flashed up and yet I can't describe it exactly because I have no idea what it is.

It looked kind of like 4-8 poles of some kind, close together, steel or metal, silver colored and not glittery, and I saw them from an angle where they were more horizontal than vertical and they were rubbing back and forth against eachother, or moving back and forth sort of like table hockey sticks. They looked kind of like they had these other shapes on them, like carved hexagon, octagon little knobs or shapes in steel on these poles. I saw it in a flash and can't say I've seen anything like it and I don't know what it is. I wasn't thinking about anyone in particular, it just came to mind. I want to say I also saw a color but I don't want to say what because I don't want it to be a big deal.

Then a few things came to mind to pray for and "london" was one of them but I thought maybe it was my cousin's child, who is named "london". I prayed for him and then I prayed for other people in general too. I focused on my son and thought about him and tried to send him a lot of good messages and I felt very warm doing this. I talked to him in my thoughts, meditating on him and then I prayed to God for him, asking for blessings of happiness and peace and for protection by all God's angels and from others as well.

Unemployment Offices Disaster

I guess they're worried finally. For the first time, today, they were recording their calls with me. They never did this in the past. The unemployment offices, that is. I heard this very loud "bbeeeeeep!" right before someone got on the line to take my call. Both times, and it's never happened before. Before I mentioned the "beep" I think the woman wondered how I knew when I said something about "So why is this the first day your offices have ever bothered to record my calls? when all these other times, when I was given false information or my case was droppped all over the place, there was no recording?"

I could not believe it, because today when I called, the woman said that since August they only have a record of my filing for maybe 6-8 times. I said, "That is NOT right," and when I said something about how the last time I brought up my missing dates that I actually filed, someone told me to call later to request a receipt. So I said, is this what I have to do? and I was told, "No one ever said that". Or something like, "That's not true" and I said, "That's what I was told." Then she said, they only had a record of so many calls and I said how is it that my calls are not going into their computer system? I listen through all the lousy songs they have to play while I wait, and I remember full blown conversations with their people on some of the days I file and when I've filed, I always wait until it says "Your claim has been accepted" and then I hang up.

Supposedly, if you wait until you hear these magic words, your claim goes through into a system and is recorded as filed. I said, "Either it wasn't going through, or someone has gone in and deleted my claims or the records." She said, "No one has deleted your records" and I said, "How do you know? Do you keep an eye on everyone? And can you prove they DIDN'T?"

I know positively I've filed way more than this, at least more than half of the time, and then a few times I was sick or forgot but still looked for work anyway.

So I asked today what the hold up was and I got different answers and then this supervisor put me on "hold" but disconnected me. I stayed "on hold" as I reached across and entered my information into another telephone there. Funny, because when I was already supposed to be on the other line, holding, the other phone had normal music, their normal instrumental elevator crap with messages inbetween. It's when someone registers my social security number, the music gets switched to these bizarre songs.

I asked for an address for making a release of information request. I asked who I make a complaint to, in how my case has been handled. I also asked, "Who the hell is 'Prescott'?" when I was told the guy handling my interstate claim matter went by the ID number of 747 and it was not a Prescott. At least, that's not the name I got.

This hold up has taken 6 months when I could have taken care of business, in their position, in one week.

Apparently, my former boss DID send in a handwritten statement but now they're claiming it's not good enough.?! So he DID try to send something in for me but these state departments are purposefully screwing around with things. And then there was all this talk about "Special Wages" unit and I was asked if I was federal military or a federal civilian. I said I was a normal working waitress and what was going on.

All of the information they went over or questions asked, 99% of it I already went over months ago in August.

Just when it sounds like my hours and wages are sent in though, it was on the same day I got a really big push to apply for disability, which would cancel out my unemployment. I think Michelle Erickson decided to barge in sometime after this was about to come in, and then today I had a massive amount of pressure to apply when I didn't have all my questions answered. I was told, "You may NEVER get any unemployment money." I went in 3 weeks ago and it was like no hurry at all and then today it was a big deal and then I go next door and find out I'm getting much closer to getting unemployment money.

At any rate, I am in this for the long haul. I would really like to think that something could turn around, but it seems, if the state is unwilling to increase visitation, this isn't their intention at all. They've never once demonstrated good faith to me or my son, so I am preparing myself for many more years of dealing with them, in court. Of course, it could turn around, but I would be so shocked at this point, I think that's how I might die, of a heart attack from surprise.

I need to see the visitation notes that are recent, because I have a feeling there are more lies. My son doesn't even like her, even though last time she tried to act nicer torwards him, he can read people. Sue lied, a LOT, but she must have at least been good to my son. This new one might be lying and also not be very good with my son, and I've been concerned by more gang pressure she's laid on me, but this time it's been done without it being said out loud. I'll bet they switched Sue out because they worried that since she verbalized something, she might be caught, and so they brought in someone new. I would have to see her notes, but I already have a feeling by the other messages she's been giving me and so, before even seeing the notes, I feel like I know.

And really, if it comes down to people lying, if this other one is doing the same, I'll take the liar my son prefers at least.

I think my own lawyer doesn't want to be there, partly out of guilt and partly because he knows if he's surrounded by the symbolic crap my son and I have to deal with, he's complicit, not that he hasn't been already. I need audio taping to keep the record straight of how my son and I interact, and then my own personal friend or advocate to be able to sit in and witness what I witness, on my own behalf. The state has their person, and I need my person.

To Clinic For Anemia But ER as "Tired"?

I don't have insurance right now, so I went to the walk in clinic to be checked for anemia and maybe given medication to get this back up...I cannot afford to be so fatigued right now.

So I was sent to Emergency with the complaint listed as "Tired". They wanted a signature. I said, "Are you kidding me? tired?! and Emergency?" I said, "This makes me sound nuts, like I'm going to the Emergency room thinking being "tired" is life threatening."

So I said, "Will you please have someone change this to "anemia"" and I don't need the Emergency room, I just need the walk in clinic. It's not an emergency." So I was told I hadn't been diagnosed with anemia yet. I said, "I was, it came up on my Red Cross exam" and I said I was just there to get it confirmed and get something that would help me get my energy and memory up to normal so it's easier to function.

I sat back down in the waiting room and told some guy, and he said, "Yeah, it would sound nuts, like you need to be in another kind of room." I said, "I know! Like, hi everyone! I'm just feeling kinda tired and wondered if I could have a cup of coffee if I check in?" He laughed, and I said, "Or, I could really use a nice soft bed to lie down on, and I just thought about yew guuuuyyyys."

I tried to explain, and to the regular guy waiting on the side, it needed no explanation. I said to the front desk woman, "I just don't need any more medical records which sound nuts or make it sound like I am, when I'm not, and I'm not a hypochondriac, and I wasn't trying to get 'emergency' attention either."

So I was told they'd add "anemia" to the record and then I said, "What about the emergency thing? I came in before 5 p.m. and I'm told the walk in clinic is open until 6 p.m."

So I was told I HAD to go to the ER if I wanted to be seen. I said, "But this isn't 'life threatening'!" and I demanded to know why I couldn't be seen in the walk-in clinic for a normal problem.

I was told, "It's Dr. Freed's orders--you can't go to walk in, only ER." I said, "Well, I just had an MRI and radiology done there and that wasn't ER and there were no problems, so what's the problem now?"

What I am very aware of, is how an inaccurate record gives me a bad or misleading appearance, to someone who doesn't really know what the story is or was.

So, for the record, I DID try to go to the walk in like a normal person, and I do NOT think anemia is life threatening, but it is definitely something I need to be treated for because it's affecting my ability to function.

But imagine. I know very well what the state likes to do with some kind of medical record that pops up in an Emergency room visit, with someone admitting themself for being "tired".

At my request, they made some alterations to the wording. I couldn't get around the ER thing and was told I should just go there since I couldn't go anywhere else, and get checked out because sometimes anemia means there is internal bleeding.. Either that there has been internal bleeding, or the stores of iron have been lost and they cannot be replenished by iron-rich foods alone. It has to be treated.

So I'm sitting here. Waiting for my blood to be drawn. Totally not an emergency, but let it be said, I know this. I'm stuck with only one option.

But when this guy came in and then said, "Well, this is a nice place to rest" I raised an eyebrow.

I was asked if I am doing something, like working, which I need my energy for and I said, "I'm not working now but I've been looking for work and I have other things going on like litigation and need to have my strength for possible appeals to higher courts."

I have already decided, if I have to, I will keep appealing to get my son back, all the way to the Supreme Court. I found out today that the state has to pay for the first appeal but after that, a law firm has to take the case pro bono or be paid to go further.

I am going to do everything within my power to get my son back and I don't care how much time, energy, or money it takes. I've been the only person who has heard what he says repeatedly, that he wants to be with his mother, and who respects his wishes and tries to fight for the truth.

I had thought people would try to work with me at the Wenatchee level but I am preparing myself for a very long haul. And I am ready and willing to do it.

This woman who I talked to today said, now that she's in the 9th circuit, she thinks the Wenatchee or Chelan Judge wishes now that he'd taken a closer look at her case and she said she thinks he actually even feels sorry for her, or about it now. I said, "Do you think he feels sorry because he didn't have any idea? or sorry because he never thought it would get out and go very far and no one would be caught?" She said she didn't know.

She said she was forced to go to a psychological evaluation and they said she was "paranoid schitzophrenic", "Bipolar" and had "PTSD" too. I said to her, "But I'm talking to you and you sound so normal!" She said, that's what everyone says. I said, "Are you on medication now?" and she said no. I said, "You sound so NORMAL!" I wondered how in the world someone got away with diagnosing her with such incredulous things. Then one of her friends came along and said that as long as she'd known her, she sounded normal too.

I don't know. There was the weird stuff going on again, but I do have to say, this woman isn't half the things they diagnosed with. She just got trashed. I don't know if these psychologists really know what paranoid schitzophrenia or bipolar is or if they've seen enough cases to know what the difference is between normal and creative or different, and truly mentally ill. Her friend spoke up and said, "Yeah, schitzophrenia is an organic disorder that is corrected by certain salts and they didn't work on her because she doesn't have it and never did."

I asked how the case got started and she said they had been living in a poor looking house and she had turned in her landlord to the Better Business Bureau and he retaliated. She had a lot of evidence but it was all overlooked in court.

In my case, I've never had a lawyer even helping me to bring it to court so it could get filed. I kept telling my lawyer too, to appeal certain things and they just say there is only one appeal at the end. There are a LOT of things which can be done before "the end".

Anyway, this woman said after she's done with the custody suit, she's going to sue the state. I told her I'd like to hear more and put together an article about her case, to publish online or possibly with a paper that might be interested.

I've had a lot of people asking me to help them and telling me about their CPS case, but they're usually out of the area and I can't do anything unless they can email me and send me all the details or documents. But this woman lives nearby so I may be able to do something there.

One paper in this area said they'd carry my own story, about what I've gone through, personally, and then I thought it might be a good idea to write something for someone else too, and put it out to a larger audience.

Music Today

Falling Slowly:

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Fell Asleep & Sick

I do not feel very good.

I am hoping I didn't miss a call about a UA, because I was going to call and then I fell asleep without wanting to.

I'm so tired, even though I took a walk, I think I need to get hooked up with something at a medical place. I read you cannot correct low iron after it's low, with food, and I've been eating tons of iron anyway

Two times this week I forgot to call to see if I had one, because I fell asleep not wanting to. I just did it again.

Then, I tried to look up the time to do it anyway, and the time came up in military time, which I did not switch it to.

Right before falling asleep I thought, "Maybe Yonkers." I thought, "Maybe Shirley is from Yonkers." and boom, I was out.

I don't feel sick as in flu, just so tired, and not able to stay awake which isn't normal for me.

Oh, I just remembered I did call, and didn't have any UAs. I forgot. I do think there is something wrong with me but since it's exhaustion and I showed up anemic when I haven't been for years, I think it's anemia.

I've fallen asleep almost every day this week, several times without wanting to or trying to.

Shirley Short Hair

I met a woman this morning who had a totally yiddish or Bronx accent, and she told me she was from "MA". She claimed she'd lived there and then over here, in Wenatchee, for the last 25 years. She invited me in and wanted me to come back for "tea" or "coffee" and yet she was acting so weird when I left, I wondered.

I was right to wonder! Not only that, I am realizing that my intuition is not perfect, but it is VERY good. You won't believe what happened.

Okay, so "Mystery Shirley" didn't live the entire first part of her life in MA. I could tell it was East Coast, but there is not a soul in MA that has that accent. No way, no how. Not unless they immigrated.

I wanted to borrow a phone for a minute this morning and it is the FIRST and ONLY time that I've knocked on any neighbor's door in this general area except for once for an emergency concerning my son. But not over there at all. So this woman has scripture stuff all over her house, and books by Max Lucado and Bible's set out all over the place and little framed sayings on her wall.

I only knocked on her door because the light was on and it was the only one with the light on. So I knocked and said I was just down the road and was still waiting for the phone to be set up, and could I use a phone for a minute? and she said yes, and please come in and she acted like she'd been waiting for me her whole life. She was totally done up and she had this chair facing a window that looked out over all of Wenatchee and had me sit there by her knitting. She told me her bird's name was "Amos" for being a bearer of burdens and I laughed and said I'd also had a parakeet by the name of Jonah. So this woman acted like she knew exactly who I was, and yet gave me this story about how she was from MA, when I knew she didn't get that accent from MA. No one from Wenatchee would even know, really, because she was a transplant 20-some years ago. She said her husband had worked for Boeing for 30 years. She said he died one year after moving to Wenatchee (probably not from natural causes either if he wasn't born here).

She decided to stay here anyway. So she's going on and on and I thought she was being nice but then she started asking about some "little girl" asking for $30 or something and wanted to know if I knew her. I said no, because I didn't.

I said almost nothing about myself, just that I needed to call someone and then I kept it under a minute, and I also said something about being tired and then she was doing this little memory test with me, asking me details and if I remembered different things. She told me my memory was going to be much worse when I was older, and I just said "mmmhmm". I really asked more about her life. Oh, she asked if I had any friends in the area and though I do, I just said, surrounding area. She said she was a homemaker and had 5 kids, and that was it. I could tell she was fairly intelligent, and she didn't seem like the type who would only do homemaking. But anyway, I left after 10 minutes of chatting, thanked her and she said, as she touched my arm, "Come back again please!" She had said this in the livingroom too. She kept telling me to please come back and visit her and she said, "Next time we'll have coffee or tea." Then I saw this odd look on her face but didn't think much of it. So I left! She asked me, at least 3 times, to please come back and visit often and she said, "I don't work so I try to help when I can." She even told me some woman was moving out of her apartment and that I should check into it.

The other thing which was kind of weird, she was wearing sort of a seafoam green or maybe "aqua" and then had this gigantic angel sitting by her window. Sort of in the middle of nowhere. She told me the item she was knitting in the basket was a "prayer shawl."

Next thing I know, I'm coming down the hill after finding some deer, and I was really looking for the wolf, but I got back to the house and what do I see down the street? A policecar in front of her house.

I instantly "knew". I have had a couple of people in this town, sometimes go out of their way to invite me to their house, not because I'm using a phone, but invite me over, and then turn around and try to complain that I was knocking on their door and annoying them. I didn't even know which apartment the officer was at, but I knew, immediately. I thought, "I will bet she called and tried to say I bothered her" just to cause trouble.

I was totally right. I mean, how would I even know there was about to be an apartment available unless she hadn't been encouraging me to move in NEXT DOOR?! One minute she's telling me to come back and have tea or coffee and saying to move in next door to her, and a couple of hours later she's calling police? So weird.

But not only was I right that she'd tried to cause problem when there wasn't an issue, I said to this guy outside, after asking "Why are the police here?" He said he didn't know and I said what I thought might be going on because "I just have a feeling" and I even told him, "She's probably telling him she's worried I was casing the joint." So he laughs and nods, and then the officer is pulling out and I waved him over and asked what was going on. He started to talk and then I said I wanted to know if it was some woman and he tells me yes! It was her! and, he said, he even said she thought I was casing the joint. His exact words. It was like he had just overheard exactly what I said to the other guy and the other guy heard both of us too.

So then I was told it was really more about someone else than me but I had been mentioned by "two ladies" and I told him I'd only ever met or knocked on one door one time, and met that one woman, and that was today. Then he kept saying something about did I know some girl who was "weird" and I said no, there were just a couple of preteen kids in the area and they seemed nice and I couldn't imagine the little girl was any kind of problem at all. I did tell the officer this woman had asked about some girl and was weird about it.

So as I was talking to this officer, the woman, "Shirley", comes out of her house with this purple jacket on and just glares and smirks at me. She KNEW! This woman did what she did intentionally and that look made it clear. What I mean by "did what she did" is just that she purposefully tried to cause trouble and drag my name through the mud and then was telling me to keep going BACK.

So what was going to happen if I didn't stop the office and ask? I was going to go back for "coffee" and to chat and she was going to invite me in again and bs and then call the police again?

Totally bizarre. But she's not the first to do this to me. I've had some really interesting encounters in this town. One by a similiar type of woman, whose husbands both worked in the military in high ranking positions for years and then the woman tells me "The Arabs tried to BUY my daughter and the U.S. told them, 'we don't do things that way'" and this woman kept going on and on and wanted me to visit and I later found out she'd complained about me after she acted like I was the catch. I guess one of her daughters served in the military in the Dubai and someone wanted to marry her and asked about an arrangement. She read all these eclectic magazines, from The Smithsonian to some high ranking military magazine, to National Geographic, art world stuff...and I asked her why she was subscribing to the military magazine and she said, "Oh I get it as a courtesy to my husband" (who died, like, 10 years ago).

Anyway, I cannot believe this woman Shirley has ever read a book by Max Lucado. SO bizarre. And why would she even have an Amazing Grace thing on her wall? She doesn't know anything about "grace"! To do that to someone! Come back for "coffee" or "tea". Right. I really thought, she sounded yiddish. I would have thought she was Jewish, just by her accent, before anything else. It wasn't just a New York style accent, it was more like yiddish or just different. I don't know how to describe it but honestly, maybe it's more of a Bronx or Brooklyn type of a thing? Definitely not MA. I think people don't realize how well-traveled I've been, at least in the states, and they underestimate me.

I can't imagine why anyone would want me to be in trouble unless it is affecting my son in a negative way, for me to be living where I'm living, but where would I move to? I mean, this woman just wanted to put some kind of a bad rap on me.

Partly, my hunch was intuitive because it was based on seeing the police car there when it's a quiet neighborhood, and then also knowing how some in this community have intentionally tried to create problems for me. But the rest of it, was even more accurate than I would think. I felt like I knew exactly what she was saying, and I even said it to someone else and then it was repeated.

How disappointing though. I try to be nice and some people are just mean. I guess my last post was for people like Shirley, aside from state workers.

"Psychiatric Eval" for All Spiritual & Non-conformists

I told my lawyer, where the hell is the motion for a second opinion from my own independent psychologist?

He says I'm supposed to go for a psych eval now, the kind that prescribes, which, a LOT of people who have met me and know me, and know the politics, know is bullshit.

I've had a few people try to bring up "depression" lately, talking about themselves but I always wonder if they're bringing it up to try to make me "feel better" about what they or someone else thinks I might have. I don't know.

I am not depressed. It doesn't fit. I've been tired lately, but I also have anemia. I don't go around sobbing. I'm sure someone might like to put me on something hoping that if the abuses of this case continue I'll zone out, but that's not going to happen. I have every right to be reasonably upset about corruption and illegal actions. I'm not having my spirit "tempered" to "deal" with the assholes and moral cowards I have to deal with. I'm also not going to be medicated in anticipation of having more illegal actions taken to cut off my rights to my son. I didn't go on medication when my son was taken from me, and under the worse possible stress and duress, I was supposed to get "worse" mentally. I didn't, because my son and I were not actually being physically traumatized by what was affecting our health before we left for Canada.

I'm not going to have my mind tampered with, when so far, this law firm has done absolutely nothing for my son or my case. NOTHING. When half the lawyers in this town, more than half, are corrupt and take bribes and give the verdict to the highest bidder.

I'm also not mentally ill and don't need medication of any kind, aside from possibly the occasional valium to calm down.

I don't have paranoid schitzoprhenia and this is proven on the MRI and I would be more than happy to have a PET scan to prove it further, although technically, it doesn't need to be proven further. You either have it or you don't, and if you do, it shows up on MRI.

I am also not bipolar, or I'd been randomly doing weird things. When I talk about "energy" or vibes and the sensing of happiness or something wrong, it doesn't have anything to do with my own mood, aside from the normal stuff we all experience. It would be discriminatory of religious persons and those who are interested in psychic things, to try to claim that simply because someone talks about "the spirit world" or "energy" or "auras" or any of that, to claim that person is ill. I go out on a limb to record different experiences a lot of people have, and different connections we can make, on another level, and I have found increasingly, a lot of support. Much, much, more than I thought I would get. I figured, here I am writing about "energy" and yet I know the difference between a "vibe" and a "mood" and the difference between "images" and "imagination".

I figured a lot of people would really think I was nutso so I tried to clarify and distinguish as much as possible. But no, I actually found out that while there are some who just say "No, I've never experienced such a thing", I have met a LOT of people who understand exactly what I'm trying to say, and they think the same thing but are always afraid to say it out loud.

I recently found out some of the best literal psychics or remote viewers are actually people who hold somewhat conservative jobs and they keep it a secret from others because they don't want the stigma. But they are out there.

I also seriously question the idea that I need medication for anything, simply because I talk about energy and images, when a lot of people who are religious speak of "visions" or say things like "God told me to be nicer to people today." God has never personally "talked" to me, but this kind of thing gets used. Also, people DO get "a bad feeling" from certain situations, or right before tragedy, and then something happens, and it's then understood that it had nothing to do with a natural "mood" or mental state of a person, but that they were actually picking up on something that is not material...but more intangible. Like the bad feeling I had before our auto accident where my friend died, and I insisted we stop and pray, and yet the feeling still didn't go away. My friend can testify to the fact that I got a bad feeling and demanded we pray for safety for the trip. We'd already been on the road for 2 days. But all of a sudden, it was then that I knew we had to pray.

This "feeling" is not a "mood". It's sometimes hard to separate the two. But there is a big difference. A feeling of strong positive energy might come when terrible things are going on, and yet somewhere, this is being picked up on. It also might be a bad feeling right before a car crash, and was this a "mood"? No. It was instinct, intuition, a sense of energy. If it happens once in a great while, we dismiss it and say, oh, gut feeling or hunch, and agree it was "weird". But if someone attempts to really hone into these instincts and the energy, people get divided.

Some want to say there is no such thing, and it's just moods, and someone is nutty. Others completely understand or don't understand, but believe it's possible. Then of course, some believe it's possible but think it's either from Satan or from God, and then some just think it's human potential and nothing more.

With even the military and different countries which study this sort of thing, there is a divide. Some support money for the research, and the research is always ongoing because it's gained enough credibility that people know this is very real. However, you have the skeptics that believe if they "feel" something, it is just a mood and they close themselves off to even thinking there is a spiritual realm, or if not that, a extrasensory realm that exists. So it's the skeptics, who maybe haven't met anyone before or haven't had this happen to them personally, who hold back the others who know it's real. And it's good to have some skepticism.

There are more frauds and entertainment gigs than there is the real thing. A lot of people can say they know someone who had a dream that came true, or they sensed danger before there was danger, but the thing is, most people don't open themselves up to trying to experiment and be wrong sometimes, but to try to practice the gift God has given them.

At any rate, I do not meet any of the criteria or symptoms for medication, other than that I have very real stress which has been caused by the corruption and mishandling of this case with my son, and people actually trying to harm me and my son, with marks on my son's body that I'm prevented from documenting, and the fact that I have been exposed to not only gang activity that goes to the higher echelons but also to a lot of military and their interest in me is unknown.

Counseling? Maybe, but what I really need, is a legal counselor. I need a damn good attorney and if I had one, none of this would be happening. If I even had a lawyer doing the rudimentary basics, none of this would be happening.

I don't need counseling about how to join the gang and conform, and be like Michelle Erickson, when I look at the way Michelle Erickson has behaved and this is the last thing I would want, to be willing to trample over a child and mother's rights, to boost ones own self esteem and increase popularity with the people who employ her. I don't think I'm the one in need of counseling when I seem to be the only one who can manage to tell the truth and who wants proof, when Michelle and others are lying like there's no tomorrow, in a court of law no less.

My opinion, is that the people who have bullied me and my son, need to find out who God really is. Because I really think they don't know, or they would have more fear or shame about dishonoring God than following the sheep. I don't think I'm better or more special inately, but I think I am saved by grace, that I have realized who is Boss. I am very lucky to be have the grace of even having any strength to hold on with. But there are others out there too, who want the same thing that I do, equality and fairness, and liberty, and yet everyone has different things to protect and has come up on a different path. It's harder to give up a lot, when you have a lot. For me, the less I have, the more easily I am able to freely give everything to God, and in some ways, it doesn't even mean I have more strength, but less to lose. It's like the rich man in the parable, whom Jesus speaks to when He says, "It is harder for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven than it is for a camel to go through the eye of a needle" and also tells the rich man, who asks what he must do, "Go sell all you have and give it to the poor" and the man leaves sadly because he realizes he isn't willing to make that sacrifice. (Matt 19:16-20:16, Mark 10:17-31). Riches, to me, this parable, doesn't apply to people who are billionaires and it's not about that. It is speaking to the riches and abundance we have in popular vote, with our peers, in the riches of job security and health, in power, and also, in finances. Sometimes, to do the right thing, or to be a person who is willing to have integrity, one must be willing to let these riches be a sacrifice unto God. People, others, affect our ability to have any abundance or riches of any kind, so when there are those who are willing to stand for the truth and what's right, it often means going against the tide, against the grain, and to be willing that possible consequences of falling out with persons who will directly impact our lives, for the sake of following Christ, or if you prefer, as a non-christian, for the sake of the fear of God.

"If you knew me..."

John 8:19: Then said they to him, Where is your Father? Jesus answered, You neither know me, nor my Father: if you had known me, you should have known my Father also.

John 4:10: Jesus answered and said to her, If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that said to you, Give me to drink; you would have asked of him, and he would have given you living water.

While looking up some of these verses I also came across the Parable of The Rich Man and Lazarus. The parable is that, if people will not even heed the law of Moses and the scribes, even witnessing someone raised from the dead will not change their minds.