Thursday, January 21, 2010

Feeling Normal Again

I am so glad I got ahold of someone I know from the area. Just talking to someone who remembers me and has known me for such a long time made such a difference. It was like night and day. I felt normal again, and didn't feel like talking about things was going to get out all over town and turn up in some weird mind game. It was just normal. Living here has been like living on the brink of insanity. I know I'm fine but everything around me seems so crazy I start to feel a little crazy, or like I might eventually go crazy with all I have to deal with.

It was like when I was on the East Coast, in a new area and people gave me a chance to be myself for at least awhile, most of them did. And now, finding people who have known me such a long time is such a different connection.

She said it is really very true about Wenatchee in particular, that it's extremely "tight knit" or closed in and her friends that moved there as a married couple--it took them years and years before they were even accepted socially at all.

I don't have several years of time to work my way in here. I have one goal and that is my son and reuinification with him and when I am so shut out of everything it was really good to get in touch with someone who will connect me to people who know me and can help.

My plan is to just get a social life over here and volunteer stuff going and then integrate that and have support for getting my son.

I think I still may need to have someone look into this case though, and I know for sure that very serious help is needed and I hope there IS an investigation going.

In the meantime, I feel like a weight is off of my shoulders, to talk to people who knew me from my youth. These are people I wouldn't write about either, because they would have no motive or reason to be hateful torwards me.

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