I woke up sensing a negative energy and then it improved. I decided, "Probably people went to church and some felt guilty and repented" and then energy got better. I have no idea. I hope I can accomplish some good things today.
When I woke, the Chandlers were on my mind, and the situation in Somalia, and then I thought about some of the things I'll be getting into, in writing out some details, and also considering which things to withhold.
I need to figure out how to get rid of the Yahoo pop ups too. Today, "Is that a new shirt? Love it!" still, supposedly living in Sunnydale, CA. It's their little saying of the day, which comes up under my name, when their homepage comes up.
I can tell there is something being worked out right now. I just now felt like I might be able to pray today and try to ask for some insights.
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I'm too tired again. I just took another long nap. And I'm still tired. I think I need to buy some molasses. I don't think anemia would cause this much fatigue but with stress maybe it's just worse.
I was just thinking, I wish there were more stores that would let you take a dog in with you so you don't have to leave it tied up.
I was checking the CNN news and on the bottom it says "truth or consequences" and shows the time and temp for New Mexico. Do all these different pages just randomly choose their own location of where they want to broadcast? I don't get it.
Anyway, I'm extremely tired.
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STOLEN:
It looks like someone stole my card which I was going to buy food with. I have looked everywhere and it's not in my bag. I don't keep it anywhere else either. I searched all my pants and coats pockets just in case, but it appears it's been stolen. It had to have been done at the house. Someone had to go through my bag while I was on a walk to get it.
That door needs to go up and be locked and if I can, I'm going to replace it with my own coded lock.
I have had several things stolen now, from my room here.
1. I had a bag with paints for my son disappear, and there were craft things inside too, for making crafts,
2. and then I was putting a desk together downstairs and there werre 8 screws and washers to put it together with and someone stole one of the screws and washers so there were only 7 left and I had to assemble the desk like that, and
3. Now my food stamp card is missing.
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They claimed the last housemate was "nuts" and I did see some weird stuff with her, but she claimed things were stolen from her room and I believe her, because now it's happening to me and it is only happening by someone who is living here.
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As a sidenote, Google pops up this ad, after I publish this, which makes no sense whatsoever when nothing in my posts is about "songwriting" and it says "Songwriting Genuis": would you like to discover the songwriting techniques that take you halfway to genius?"
I don't think I've written anything about songwriting for months or even a year. I have no idea how these programs generate their ads. I forgot that I need to keep track though, out of curiosity.
I know yesterday youtube had all these ads about papercuts and someone kept leaving an exacto knife out, with blade drawn, here at the house. Which was an odd coincidence.
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I'm starting to realize some of this stuff must be worldwide, the whole dressing up game. I think it's absolutely ridiculous. I look at some of the photos and all I can think about is Diana, "how did she manage?"
I feel sort of sorry for Charles too. He'll be a fine king, but I don't think he really wants to be. I mean, I think it would hurt his feelings if he were ousted, but generally...I don't know.
As for William and Harry, more on that after my walk because the dog is actually whining and yowling and speaking to me to take her for a walk.
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I am going to have to make reports about the other items which have been stolen lately. I might have money missing too.
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I guess I can record I did have an image this morning. After I woke up actually, but it was one which I can't repeat. Of a guy doing something but I don't know who with and yet, I saw it and it's not something I can really remember doing that way. I really have no idea why I would get an image like that because what is the point? There is no point! I couldn't tell who with, but I saw who the man was, and it was just sort of a flash of something very normal but done a different way. Nothing unusual at all, just different angle or something but I couldn't tell how. Um, intimate. I have absolutely no idea why it would come to mind at all. I am sure that if I repeated it to that person and it was right, they might be shocked and "give all the glory to God"? I couldn't tell whether it was in that moment, or past or present or future either. It wasn't like an "imagination" fantasy thing at all. I guess the only other thing I've "intuited" is nails on a back with someone else, but this was someone I have never met personally this morning. So, very strange. I had actually been thinking about church, how it was Sunday or whatever and that the energy might be better bc of it and then I had this flash but it wasn't like, I don't know how to describe it. I don't think it was from a 'bad source' at all. It was just a flash of something. Maybe there IS something to it. I might never know, bc how does one confirm something like that, or, I have no idea.
When I've gotten something like this in the past, usually it just helped me to confirm cheating or something. And I could get it confirmed and the guy admitted. But with this, when it's about someone I haven't even met, it's obviously not cheating but maybe for some other reason?
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I also thought about the french hostage Al Quada has and tried reading about this today. I read the message Osama sent most recently. Will have to read again and maybe find the original transcript.
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I thought about the french captive pierre camatte and the only word that came to mind while trying to put him in mind was something that sounds like "vonagun" or "vaughanagun" but I cannot find one single thing online, on google, which would make any connection between the two. I don't see how it would be helpful either, but I never know. I also got the idea of "amid abu" as a name or phrase but I don't know how that connects either and is very general. I looked up the meanings and amid means "general" in arabic and "abu" means "father". But I am not feeling very inspired today either and don't know. I think it requires much more prayer and concentration than I've been giving this, and also, sometimes God, I think, doesn't allow someone to get an insight to keep them humble and reliant on the idea that it's not just something in my control but of someone else's choosing, possibly. I'm not sure. I don't have it figured out yet.
The only thing I know I puzzled over which came out of the blue, was the flash of the person this morning and some personality traits came with it too, more of an idea of the person but it's a man I've not met. I guess I'll say this much--it was someone with a royal family. That's all I can say. I have not once thought or tried to picture anything like this before and it just came to me, as if I could see it all. I don't feel it meant anything at all, it was like one of these times where I just see into a scene. But it doesn't have to mean one single thing and many times I'm not in control of the idea or other times I might ask and focus for soemthing. I got some very human traits coming out also, the faults and imperfections, not a glossed over person.
Also, I wonder, why get an image of this person but not get an image of the surroundings of a hostage? (more than just seeing it's dark somewhere). I don't understand why fully.
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this morning, the only song still stuck in my head was from la roux, "I'm Not Your Toy". I didn't play anything though. Maybe I'll play it now, just to get it out of my head.
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Took the dog for a walk and...different journey this time. I told her she could go wherever she wanted and it was all up to her. So I followed, no matter where she went, and didn't take short cuts and just followed her the whole way. So we ended up going up the hill and she cut across the lowland area, which I've not gone to with her before, not directly at least. We've never seen deer there. But she found them. Three got up and bounded away. Then we went over to the higher part of the mountain and she got onto the track of 15 deer, the regular ones.
So then the uncanny part, was that we were walking back and you have no idea who was at the highest point of the mountain looking down on me, and at that precise moment I looked up catching movement or something, and guess who it WAS? THAT FOX/WOLF/COYOTE thing!!!! It was so bizarre, like from a movie, that I'm walking along and that dog is at the top looking out at me. For a minute I thought, "Maybe it was a person?" but NO, I am about 90% sure it was that wild dog.
I felt very connected to animal energy I guess. I had just been thinking it was probably not nice to disturb the deer from their naps in the brush, and it was snowing outside when we went out so I thought, poor things, we keep chasing them off. But then that dog was on the top of the cliff or mountain peak, staring at me and the moment I looked up, I only saw the head and then it left, went down.
I was walking around with a piece of sagebrush, rubbing it between my fingers and smelling my fingers and then wafting it under my nose.
Yes, I think I might be "too native". Or not native enough? I have always felt pretty connected to animals but now, I'm recognizing it all over again. It's like kids and animals, but more animals right now because I'm prevented from seeing my own son. But the other weird thing, is that I had been thinking about that wild dog. I had just been thinking about it while we were walking and then the dog comes up out of the blue.
I had never before seen that wild dog until we crossed paths twice yesterday. Then today, it found me and was just looking out at me. Once we made eye contact, he turned. It felt meaningful but I don't know how. I felt very connected to the animal world at that moment I guess.
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Listened to La Roux's "Bulletproof".
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Feel a horrible depressing energy right now. It was fine and then I just thought about my son. It's about 6:15 p.m. and I feel like he's crying or something isn't right.
Maybe it's a hostage. A hostage other than my son. There are a lot of hostages in the world, in various forms. Some are hostages by openly illegal means, by kidnappings, others are hostages by illegal means under the cloak of legality, as is the case with my son, some are hostages to their marriages or business agreements or just their own culture or expectations they are not suited to or don't want to be in.
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At some point when I was trying to get images, something like "Karatsky" came to mind and then I was thinking "Trotsky?" but I was trying to get something when I was thinking about the french guy being held. I thought to myself, maybe there are russian psychics affecting my reception! I'm just kidding but it's true about the word.
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I guess, now that I think about it, I had someone recommend the movie "the cove" and while i was thinking about that tonight and looking it up I remembered this came to mind when I was thinking about somalia but I thought it might have to do with a location of where the Chandlers were at, some kind of cove. But then I was picturing the cove with other ships (not image!!! just imagination) and I didn't know. But something about a cove came to mind and this movie looks like it may have simliarities.
The other word which came to mind on the second day which I didn't repeat was "naples" and I don't know why it came to mind and don't know that it's in connection with Somalia at all. But it did come to mind while I was praying. maybe just for prayer, I don't know.
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