Wednesday, July 29, 2009

No, Not Blogging, But Mistake

No, I'm not blogging anymore. I wrote a couple posts out of habit, not even thinking it wasn't a different format as I intended. I use this as a works or word vehicle and I forgot.

But no, I AM very serious about not blogging. I wrote about a matter of respect which was not bad but I didn't intend to publish, and then I wrote some poems which took pieces of real communications with some people and MIXED it with fiction. It was not intended to be representative of ANYONE or an examination of the truth in any form. It was freewrite and meant to be personal but I did forget.

I also forgot not to post comments from others, because I'm not going to be responding any longer. So I apologize to the person who made a comment and thought I was going back on the "not blogging" thing.

I forgot too, how making any publication makes me traceable through internet, my location and I'm not interested in having that a part of my life either.

So I suppose I forgot to mention I won't be answering comments and I did forget and accidentally published this stuff because I use it like Word and hit "publish" for "save" because it sometimes doesn't catch what I write.

I've been blogging every day for almost 2 years so it's a simple mistake, mbut not a retraction on what I said, nor was anything about anyone or any situation in particular.


And yes, I do have things to be concerned about with the blogging. That fear has not gone away, nor has my desire to keep my private life private.

I'm still writing of course, but it's not my intention or desire to make any of the writings public. Sorry if it seemed I was going back on what I said, but I wasn't and I am serious.

I had actually realized what I did and cut and pasted things out into Works or Word, but it was too late, as I'd already hit my "save" button.

I'm still working on deleting and unpublishing older posts as well. That plan hasn't changed at all.

I didn't sleep at all last night and stayed up through almost the last two nights so I've been tired and just went to habit, but it was not intentional by any means.

I am sorry. To others and also, moreso for myself. I didn't blog at all yesterday and then I did it out of habit with the format today while trying to kill some time. If you think I want to continue putting info out there or to upset people, you're mistaken. It's the last thing I want and I already made this decision. I don't plan to make the mistake again.

My goal, is to be deleting posts, not adding to them. And, if anything was misread as an insult, it wasn't meant to be published in the first place and I wrote out some things creatively for poems but it doesn't mean it's true. I wrote some other poems by hand in a notebook and some of them are positive, and about the very same "characters" I portrayed in a more negative light online. They are characters for writing and that's it. My poem about blogging--stop, wasn't an affront but just a playful poem I wrote for myself. I try to put myself in various shoes for writing stuff and it doesn't always mean I even think or mean what I write. I try to write from different standpoints.

All that to say, I am deadly serious about not blogging anymore and I got the message loud and clear. I don't want it for anyone else's life, to be misunderstood because someone assumes something is true, and I don't want any problems for my own life.

I'm sorry if was offensive to anyone or thought to be a turn in my position.

I don't know what else to say, but I think that's enough.

I'm not a snitch.

I just want my son back.

I don't want to give out information about others or myself anymore. I will write privately on the side still, but not publicly.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Delected/Hid More Posts Today

I am just going through and deleting almost everything. Or non-publishing it publicly. I've gone through a few pages and have more to do, but I have to get a couple of other things done today.

In the next couple of days I'm going to try to finish up some things for court and just keep deleting.

I'm not blogging anymore. I got the message(s) and I'm done.

I don't want problems for me nor do I want problems for anyone else. I just want a collective peace and to move on and put the whole blog behind me.

I'm willing to give it up at this point.

If I knew how to hide the whole thing all at once, I'd do it, but it's piece by piece and then it might take a month before it's cleared from google searches.

I'm tired of sharing about my life to the entire public as well.

I will just keep on deleting things day by day until it's done, and I would appreciate having some things stop in my life as well, that continue to occur from others.


Backing Down & Not Talking

I considered going to police about something and called on July
25, 2006. I didn't give out any IDs, and hardly any info at all. I was referred to a different agency that's more confidential but I'm just dropping it.

I am afraid, and I think it would be stupid for me to say anything at all at this point. I have nothing to share and I've not talked to anyone or given out any names or info.

I am just done. I said I didn't want to report things, and then I worry about my own safety, but I'm just walking away. I don't want any further conflict on anything.

All I want, is to have a normal life and not end up involved in anything.

That said, I blogged about my roommates and was told I shouldn't have and I'm going to put the posts into hiding as well. I am just done with that as well.

I want peace.

I don't want conflict and I don't want to get anyone into trouble. I just want others to do the same for me and respect my safety and leave it at that.

So I'm going to go back and delete some stuff.

What I've blogged has often been self-protective, but then someone new was warning me today and I am just done.

So I walked out and said nothing to police, even though I spoke with them a couple of times.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Big Break With Hair Analysis

I just found out from some people, that hair analysis will date drug use back up to 7 years and it doesn't always depend upon the length of hair but is dated through the core.

I don't know, because I haven't researched it yet, but if that's true, I'm going to be completely exonnerated of being a substance abuser.

I have had all these people giving me misinformation, telling me it only shows whether you've ever used a drug in your life, not the timeline. But if it shows timeline, I'm going to be cleared as being honest and not being a substance abuser.

Especially if it goes back 7 years, it will really show the truth.

It would show I've only used narcotics when they were prescribed.

It would show I never used pot (unless someone put it in my food without my knowledge) prior to my son being taken and that I tried it about 2 months after he was removed. After this it will show I only used it on rare occasion, to prevent migraine and that I quit before coming back to Wenatchee for my son when I was medically stable. It will show I used pot one time in the last several months, and that it was the same time I had a migraine, which I went to ER for ergotamine for because the pot didn't help.

It will show I didn't miss UAs because I was covering something up, but only because of transportation problems.

Is It Wrong For Rabbis To Sell Organs?

It seems illegal I guess, by method, but I'm a little confused.

What is so wrong with selling organs?

If some kind of government weird laundering was involved, I guess that makes it illegal, and therefore corrupt somehow.

But I don't understand why selling organs is so unethical or wrong. For one thing, all kinds of medical services and parts are "sold" in the U.S. every day, and this is a capitalist society where it's not frowned upon.

No doctor or parts person is just giving them away for free, or not charging someone. If there was public health for everyone, and some people got organs ahead of others because they had more money, it would seem unfair. But here in the U.S., the whole thing is that it's incentive--if you have money, you are rewarded by being able to afford things others cannot afford.

Why should every other medical service and part be bought, but not organs? We even buy cemetary lots for a place to put dead bodies.

It doesn't seem right that some should get organs ahead of others, because they can pay for it, but I still don't see where it's really illegal.

If I could get $10,000 right now, for selling an organ, I would probably do it myself and it's my own body and I should be able to choose what I do with it.

I guess the issue is more about the way the business was being conducted? or what channels someone was going through?

I wonder what the Rabbi's did with the money, with the $160,000 per part. Did it go to charity? or did they personally pocket the money?

If someone was buying a car in Israel from a person, for $10,000, and then selling it in the U.S. for $160,000 because there is a shortage of cars and some are desperate to drive and can afford the car where others can't, that seems to be no problem. We have a capitalist system and there is nothing wrong with someone getting ahead of others.

So I don't get it. I don't understand how it's wrong to do this.

If someone was using public officials to negotiate better deals for some people, then I would think those public officials should be held accountable, but a pastoral person isn't a public official in the strict sense of the word.

I know it's horrible when you hear about these kids who are dying because their insurance won't cover a kidney transplant so their kid dies. I think everyone should get a fair chance at life.

Yet the way our system is set up, or the way the world is in general, doesn't allow for that.

We pay people for blood plasma donations in the U.S. So we pay individuals to part themselves out.

I don't understand how selling organs then is so bad.

Is it because of lack of regulations or safety or something? Maybe that's it, that no one oversees the transportation and storage or inspection?

Whether it's a group of private people, or religious of any kind, I just don't know where the wrongdoing is except maybe in lack of outside inspection because if everyone did this, someone's health or safety could be at risk because proper safeguards are not in place.

One other thing, is I was thinking maybe it put someone ahead of the waiting list in the U.S. but it wouldn't. It would actually be reducing the waiting list because the organs were from another country.

I guess maybe the issue is not the actual sale but the lack of safeguards and/or failure to pay taxes on the sale? It seems a little more like an IRS matter or something. I mean, lack of inspection would be health department and lack of paid taxes would be IRS.

I guess if there were public officials involved in hiding this, then that would be public corruption because they'd be doing things that benefit a special interest type of group. I don't know.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Deleting Some Posts & Why

I told a few people I would delete some of the posts I made, a few days ago. Then I got upset again. I'm stressed out.

But I started thinking, if all of this is happening just because I don't seem suitable because of my finances, maybe that is all I need to do.

This guy was really encouraging, and said if I got that together, this was the main thing. I don't know why and I can't understand, because I would think TANF would cover me for awhile if my son was back in my care, but everyone seems to be saying the same thing.

It's not like I haven't been trying. Believe me. I have documentation to prove it. But if people are lying about me or distorting things, just because they look at my financial situation, I suppose I could work that out and then try to show how I am independent financially.

I know the state was really trying to get me off of state aid before, and I believed it was retaliation. But maybe the state just doesn't want to spend any more money than they have to and didn't believe I was injured?

I need to find a lawyer too, and while I had concerns, I should have left it at that if I want a lawyer. I think to myself that I'm just trying to defend my position, and I keep running into issues, but everyone says to just do what they tell me to do, no matter what.

I don't know why, because I feel it's important to show I'm not the oddball mother that I'm made out to be. I am creative, and I put my foot in my mouth, but I told Exxon I didn't want to be a spy or save the world, I just wanted a normal life. Again, not that I was directly asked to be a spy, but I kept being handed business cards from the Dept. of State and CIA contracted workers. I don't know what was going on. One thing my lawyer said, is that it wasn't my job to "clean up the town". I know I had concerns about her but maybe some of the legal people in town badmouthed her too, because she takes on things they don't like or wouldn't take themselves. In general, even if she wasn't totally on MY side, she has probably helped some people that needed help.

I went up to the old cabins today, and thought about how Nacho was killed being on one side, and then how this other guy who's a neighbor, was killed in the line of duty, and I don't want that to be me. I met this neighbor who is an ex-sheriff and he said he saw his buddy die and he decided to leave.

I seriously do NOT know why this got out of hand to begin with, but I'm willing to try to understand. Well, I don't think I will ever understand actually, because I guess I got close to information I didn't know very much about or that it was that big of a deal.

I have never been involved in a gang or dated anyone who was, knowingly, but maybe I did. I have no idea. All I know is that a lot of what started happening seemed to be gang-related.

I also checked on something today, at the public defender's office, and I found out someone told me something that wasn't true, that they had a case against them and I was going to try to find out if I could help in anyway, and asked to talk to the PD in charge of her case. It wasn't found. So I don't know if the info just isn't there yet or if she got scared something bad would happen with her if she helped me, so I thought about that. If she was scared enough to tell me all the things that were happening to make up even more additional excuses, maybe she is smarter than I am.

I was raised in a home where no one was ever involved with police, or drugs, or lawyers even. I've never been around any of this, until later in my life and I haven't been able to figure out how to be street smart because I don't have those skills. They do NOT come naturally to me. I don't know how to shut my mouth, because I assume everyone handles it fine. I don't know when not to say something, sometimes, because I wasn't trained or brought up with these kinds of knacks. I think someone in my more further extended family did drugs, but that's all I've known and they lived far away from us. To me, that was "big excitement" because to hear about anyone doing drugs at all was huge. I thought it was exciting enough to hear about my cousin B. smashing one tennis racket after the other at exclusive boarding schools on the East Coast. That was a huge deal to me.

I was also raised with a father who stood up for an overweight woman who was being discriminated against, who even went to court for it. I only heard the good side of this.

I have always thought my Dad was a hero for speaking up about:
1. church embezzlement of funds,
2. discrimination

I thought it was noble and at some point, decided that was IT, hell or high water. But I never heard about the downside.

I never knew or put together how my Dad was made to pay for doing this. Everything always had a happy ending.

I knew, yes, that my Dad and Mom suffered because when my father spoke to someone privately, the pastor, behind closed doors, about what was going on, the pastor turned around and publicly humiliated my parents in front of the entire congregation.

I heard about how the entire town then thought my father was having an affair and doing all these other things he wasn't doing and they were socially ostracized because of slander, after he spoke up about the embezzlement.

But THEN, it always turned around. People found out what was going on and their names were cleared and even though he had to work as a manager at a fast food place, because he couldn't get work anywhere else and was shunned, he got into another job and started climbing ranks...

Until he spoke up again.

There was this woman at Willamette who was fired for being fat. They didn't want a fat receptionist at the front desk. They thought she was frumpy, even though she did an excellent job. My Dad thought she did a great job and she was hilarious besides. So when she filed a discrimination lawsuit she asked my Dad to testify and he agreed, even though he was still working at the same place he would be testifying against.

So he testified and she won the lawsuit. To my knowledge, she won. He had to speak about supervisors, his own supervisors, in order to tell the truth for her, but he did.

I always heard this part. I never thought about the second half of the story until about a week ago, and why it took me this long to figure out I don't know.

They pushed him out. He didn't just testify and get pats on the back. People were PISSED.

I remembered that he would say, way back then, how he wasn't getting any work anymore. He was given something he could do in one hour and then made to sit with nothing more to work on, as an accountant. I still remember, as a younger girl, how my Dad would come home and talk about this a little, with my Mom, but I didn't know what was going on. I realized just recently, he was pushed out. They didn't want to give him work because some people didn't like what he'd said and who he defended, so they wanted to bore him to death.

I'm being buried to death, but my Dad was bored to death.

They just wanted to find a way to get him to quit. They weren't going to fire him, they were going to ask why he wasn't working on anything when they were giving him nothing to work on.

Unfortunately, I am not smart enough or skilled enough, to think of a back up plan. I just think everything will work out and everyone is going to like me more for taking a stand.

My father got his real estate license on the side, at home, and then quit to become a realtor. But I still don't think it was made very easy for him.

So in some ways, I have idolized "whistleblowing" and imagined this is the bravest thing to do and that I will be thanked for it. I didn't get to see the downside to whistleblowing from the right, nor did was I ever raised to understand what having street smarts is about, from the left.

There was a time when I felt my job or responsibility was to just take care of myself and try to be the best person I can be, as an individual. I took a lot, but I thought it was my job to be quiet, and perservere, and I even believed taking the most lowly job was the best way to learn "humility". I had that word, "humility" written on a telephone/address book I had for years. Which is ironic.

I guess I felt, after trying so hard to work on myself, I was ready to take on whistleblowing. But I have been stupid and have probably not known when to say something and when to never say anything at all.

I haven't meant to sound superior, or like I'm the moral taskmaster and that others are worse than me. Maybe some people know this, some don't. Maybe some just thought I was trying to cause problems, when my intentions were good. And then I have all these people telling me about things and I've thought it was my "responsibility" to say something. Over and over and over, and it is maybe a miracle I'm not dead but I don't even realize it.

Other things I've said are maybe wrong or misguided and not even something to be killed over, but just something that pisses people off.

I have seen how this has been working, but I still never believed it, that I was doing anything wrong. I have thought I was doing what we're supposed to strive to do and then I've written out of a defensive mode when I thought I felt attacked.

If someone told me something about someone, I thought it was my "duty" to say something or "report" it. Most of the time it's not even anything to do with me personally, but I just think I'm supposed to say something anyway.

I haven't known if anyone thought I was attacking religion, or a gang, or the country, or what. I still don't know what my biggest offense is. Which is maybe stupid, but I DON'T know. Today this old friend had me read Revelations in Spanish, about "the end times" and I started to wonder, with all the other things that have been going on, and what others have told me about how they quit or changed to keep peace and just work on themselves, I've wondered. The book was given to me and it has two dead fish on the front and then a torah scroll. So of course, I think about religion. I thought about what groups I may have offended, as a group, or people individually.

Even with the things going on that affect my life, yes, I'm not blind, I see these things happening, but for the same reason I still tend to trust strangers, I think it can't be me. I'm not kidding. I am not naive in that I've learned a lot, but I am naive in that I don't understand what I've learned or what to do with it.

I'm not a cop, and I don't want to be a cop, and I'm not a criminal and I don't want to be involved in understanding that either. I have insulted every group there is to insult and thought it wasn't an insult. Most of the time, I truly think in my heart of hearts, that what I'm doing is making me a better person because it's somehow making me stronger or that I'm brave. I have never thought I'm perfect but maybe I thought I was better than others for being willing to "take a stand" which I thought was a right stand to take, no matter what.

I was wrong.

Visited Old Friends, Miss Nacho, & Peace for Racism

I visited an old friend today, went to see some people I used to know, and only one of them was there. There was a new guy but I thought he was one of the old cabin guys at first, I didn't even recognize him.

It brought back old memories and I remembered how Nacho was always there, goofing off, and hanging out being a mediator and negotiator with everybody. I don't even remember Nacho's last name, or his real first name, but I felt sad.

The old group was all hispanic and they used to cook for me and have me visit and it was like an old family.

I met Nacho's son and was hoping he might be there, but he's not. I guess the rest of the guys are going up later or something. But I don't know if Nacho Jr. will stay in Oregon or what.

It was sort of fun to talk to the one guy and he looks the same pretty much and said a lot of changes have happened in his life. I guess his wife doesn't have stomach cancer anymore because she was dying the last time I talked to him. I really missed seeing Nacho though.

Nacho had this personality that told you he meant business, but he was a giant teddy bear. I don't think anyone disliked him. But then he got killed and I don't know if it was a hit or what but I think so. He used to visit me all the time and visit with my son and it's just weird that he's not around anymore. I think he's the first person who I've known who has died, except my grandfather. Oh, and my schoolbus acquaintance who commited suicide at the age of 13.

I think it was Nacho, but I can't remember, who brough money to me when I was in jail for something I didn't do. He went out of his way to help people and he did it out of kindness and nothing more. His girlfriend wondered if we were romantic but we weren't.

Then this new guy was really nice too. He gave me a ride back to Wenatchee and listened to me and I found out he's been here awhile in Wenatchee. He said he has a daughter and son in Mexico. He was sort of funny, good sense of humor, and I got to practice my Spanish again. I got to practice my pronunciation on a Spanish Bible too. Lol. Seriously, I was asked to read from the book of Revelations, the last 2 or three chapters. I think it was chapters. I didn't know what I was reading but I was able to demonstrate my Spanish. The only part I knew was the end part about "ven!" and what that meant. It was hilarious, not the reading, but then my friend was trying to speak in English and said he and his wife were brothers. He kept saying this and I repeated in Spanish and he agreed but I don't think he knew what I was saying.

I talked to the new guy about getting my son back and said I didn't know why he was taken really, other than politics. The guy said he thought I just needed to be working and that it was more financial than anything else. I don't know, maybe he's right.

I've been looking, and submitted more applications yesterday and then today I tried to go to a couple new places and some people gave me ideas on where I could apply next. So I will try.

If it's just financial, I don't know what the hold up is. If the state is willing to work with me as I get that piece together, I'd just like more visitation.

Yesterday and this morning I was really upset but then I got a bus pass. I was trying to go to Stemilt but we passed the stop when I was talking and the driver said it would take an hour to get back that way so I just decided to go to Cashmere. I was going to visit Granny if I had time after seeing the guys, but she was going to an appointment.

What is weird is that the one time marijuana was found in my blood, at the hospital, the only time of my life, I didn't even use it and had never tried it. The only people I was around was my family and the guys and I know they wouldn't put something in my food, unless maybe it was someone who really didn't like me. I was living with the guys at the time, but everyone seemed to get along.

I have always thought it got mixed up at the hospital or someone at the hospital did something with my lab results or just lied. It was so weird, because it was right after I reported the FBI guys and then moved to Wenatchee and I guess they did undercover drug type of work. I thought about this and all the problems that have happened since then.

I would have never used any drugs at this time in my life, and only after my son was taken did I even try pot, for the first time, to see if it helped with migraine and it did. I never even had a chance to go back and see if I could test against things that set off a false positive because I didn't know about it until 3 months later.

I went to ER at that time because of a suicide attempt which was a one-time thing and I was freaking out about it later, because I read that alcohol and pot don't mix and cause odd reactions and if I was on it, I didn't know who would do that to me. I would have a couple of beers every now and then but that was it. I read the combo makes people wig out and wondered if my attempt was triggered by that more than anything, if it was really in my system and I didn't know.

It was a really strange time back then. I wasn't an alcoholic though! I was smashing everyone's beer bottles on the porch and Nacho would stick up for me. I only smashed the beer bottles of the guys who were total drunks or alcholics and I did it on a cement pavement out of the way of others so no one would get hurt and then I cleaned it up. I don't think I ever saw Nacho drunk except a couple times.

I did a good deed the other day. I asked a friend to delete a racist comment off of his cell phone display. It really, really, bothered me and I said if your stuff is getting vandalized, this could be why. If anyone saw it, they would freak out. He said it was more un-P.C. than anything but I just thought, no, this is racist and not okay. So I made a step torwards Obama's admonition for racist thinking clean-up.

It's not such a good deed when you then talk about it, but I was proud of myself for saying something when no one of that color was around and it was just us and I told him how much it bothered me and was really racist. I don't know if he even thought of it that way or not, but I don't know how you couldn't. And! he changed it! He took out the racial slur and it made me feel good.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Confirmed Availability Of Psychologist

I was trying to get scheduled for the psych evaluation with this one who could get me in right away and I found out she's available next week. I pretty much had to do the checking around.

I told the state worker I was still trying to contract with her and it needed to be set up. She said if the woman was available but I let her know she was and has had good and prompt availability.

The state worker said she would call to schedule and then I took the step of calling again and confirming availability. The receptionist pulled up a total of 7 hours time that can be used, next week from the 28th-30th, which is great!

So I called the state worker back immediately and I told her what the dates and times were and asked her to call right away. She asked me what number I had. I asked why and she said she had a different number where she just got VM. So I told her what the other number was and the name of the receptionist who confirmed availability. I asked the state worker to call right away so I could get this done and she said she would.

The state has said they were responsible for, and would pay for transportation and hotel but I was told if it's that soon, they may not be able to get it done in time. I said I needed these things, but that I would show up regardless and keep the appointment one way or the other, to just set it up so I can GET THIS DONE.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

21st Witness Statement In Support Of Me

A Cameo yo la conoci, en la calle paseando a su bebe, y a mi me parece que lo esta cuidando bien. En las occaciones que platique con ella me parecia que era carinosa con su hijo y el con ella.

(name omitted because she's still working torwards citizenship)

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

My Meeting With A Priest

I met with a priest and for me, it was a positive thing. When he came in from lunch and I asked if he was a priest he said yes and I almost instantly tried not to cry. Then we went to his office and I sat down and I tried to begin but I started crying.

For me, it was a large step forward. I sort of confronted my own apprehensions and went in, in peace of course, and honestly wanting to see if he might have some advice. He seemed to be a nice man. Ironically, I saw all these papers with Mt. Angel Abbey letterhead at the front of his desk, but that didn't keep me from talking to him.

He didn't know what to say but I didn't get a bad vibe from him at all. Then the meeting ended and I was walking out his next appointment was wearing a black and white CIA shirt, well, that said just "CIA" on the back. He had Irish eyes, and I didn't have a bad vibe him either, not really one way or the other. He seemed pleasant.

I left and I felt at peace simply because I had been able to go in and just have a conversation and express how my interest was just in peace and the welfare of myself and my son. I asked for any advice or what he might suggest and he didn't know, but still, it was a positive outcome for me.

I feel I could possibly go to a Catholic church with a different attitude. That's not where I'm going, but I could visit without reservation even though I know a lot of things have happened with some group in connection.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Talked To Friend & About Harassment

I talked to a friend who says he believes, given all the harassment and vandalisms I had for years, that what happened in E. Wenatchee WAS definitely the result of escalating violence against me. He knows a little about mechanics and electronics so we talked but we still don't know exactly what would cause everything, though some things are coming into better focus now. He said it's obvious someone or a group had it in for me and they spent a lot of time and energy on it and wouldn't quit. But I'm still studying some of the Tesla stuff and want to look into ZPE a little more.

One thing that hit me last night, was that if all my wall outlets were affected, and something used to cause the overcharging and melting of stuff (the Labor & Industry people or whatever came out and thoroughly examined the electrical stuff because we moved in so it wasn't a problem with wiring)...Anyway, it HIT me, that THIS was the same thing that was happening when I first started having problems with my brand new fax machines frying, and it happened THREE TIMES, FIRST in PORTLAND, OREGON and then it happened in Wenatchee, the EXACT same thing.

I hadn't known what could cause it, but I only had so many outlets and , well, I'm not totally sure. I know Christa asked me a lot of questions about my fax. When I used it, if it was plugged in, and what phone line it was connected to, and if I always had it on. She asked all these questions before anything weird happened and I hadn't wondered why she even cared.

I am thinking, when I was trying to fax, it let someone know my machine was plugged in and connected to the phone line. Well, but then that wouldn't explain why the computer didn't also fry and someone was always on it seemed, and I think it was left alone only for information-gathering purposes. Actually, I think the fax machine was somehow frying through someone knowing it was connected to a phone line and that I had it plugged in or connected to the computer or something.

It first happened in Oregon, and I missed being able to file something important because of it and asked for an extension. Then it happened AGAIN in Portland, Oregon with a brand new fax.

Finally, I moved to Wenatchee, and I bought a brand new fax machine but while I told Christa I was using it, I never even took it out of the box for more than half a year. When I finally did, and used it, I only sent a fax to three different people:

1. Davis Arneil, a law firm in Wenatchee which began doing some of the same things the Abbey lawyers did, and I saw John Kaempf pulling out of their offices once,
2. DSHS with Tina Thorton receiving it
3. Molina

After I sent out these three faxes, all in succession, all of a sudden, the fax just FRIED. It happened the exact same way it first happened in Oregon.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Questions About Zero Point Energy vs Other Energy

The idea of energy being pulled from pulled from batteries makes sense . You could use zero point energy to do this and it would cause no harm to humans but would deplete the energy in battery operated devices.

I am also convinced that energy from one source could be used to pump another source with excessive amounts, by the same principle in reverse. So that would explain how energy could be pushed into outlets and cause overheating if the energy output is greater than usual.

However, I am thinking, it would cause the severe health problems, I don't think. I don't think Zero Point Energy is harmful enough, because obviously, you don't need point A to point B and have to cause harm to humans. Otherwise, it would be impossible to drive along or have houses connected to this kind of energy.

So it explains how battery depletion can be done, and how outlets could possibly be charged high enough to cause devices connected to burn or melt.

I don't know that it explains the other harm caused to me and my son and think it would be another form of energy would be used to cause this. My guess. The pain was so severe, there is no way this energy could be used safely around humans without problems.

If what this other told me, who is involved in experiments, is true, there are other possibilities which entail a point A to point B which could cause harm to humans. Some of these forms could use generators out of metal or steel too, and this is the kind of experiment that is ongoing at Hanford. It might also explain the uranium guy coming out of the woodwork.

As for being able to get onto computers, that are desktop and have never gone online, Andy Panda, the computer guy, said it would take technology that transmits an electromagnetic pulse. This kind of technology has been around for years and decades and has only become more sophisticated. It would also explain the twitching of muscle under the skin that was happening all the time with not just me but with my son. With my son, it was so severe, I would wake in the night to find him with his arm raised up and the arm was shaking and twitching. Additionally, sometimes he and I would wake at the exact same moment, and he would cry out in pain and I assume he had felt the same kind of pain I had, and ZPE, in it's TRADITIONAL USE, wouldn't do this. The U.S. government has done experiments on U.S. citizens (which I backed up on my blog with documentation) that involved specifically inducing epileptic seizures with an electromagnetic pulse. Those experiments were done a decade ago or more and used with the theory that first you try out your weaponry on U.S. people before risking failure on the enemy in a time of war.

I am correcting myself as more information comes in and I'm not afraid to say I'm wrong about something.

Can ZPE be used in a harmful way against humans? I don't know. Perhaps there's a modification that can be used to the technology that DOES cause severe damage. I haven't researched enough yet.

At first glace though, it's very clear and indisputable, that ZPE can affect outlets or batteries or other energy sources without harm to humans. It doesn't even sound like it's that difficult.

I would have to research a little bit more to figure out if ZPE is used in a harmful way with some kind of alteration, or if it is true, that the U.S. is currently conducting experiments with nuclear and other energies, or if really, most of the actual pain and computer hacking and batteries going off, was occuring because of what Andy Panda told me causes this. I did enough research to find it is true and indisputed that a pulse of this strength WOULD cause severe harm.

If ZPE is this new, we probably don't know everything about it and some stuff is classified I'm sure. However, some things are adding up as I go through and process the incoming material and then research it to form conclusions.

It wasn't all in my head and I didn't have a nervous breakdown though, that is for sure, and it wasn't just me but my son that was affected, and once, in Canada, a whole room of girls next door woke up in the middle of the night at the same time my son and I did, and I heard them cry out. It was the same pain, but much, much, milder and yet because it had been going on so long at the other house, I recognized this was the same source. It woke everyone up. We were all in rooms next to the end of a building. I think whoever was doing this didn't dare keep doing it with other people around, or to the same degree, because it would have become more noticeable to everyone. But every single one of us in that house next to that wall were awakened and I heard them actually cry out or moan at the same time, and my son and I woke up as well.

The thing is, I'm glad I've blogged about all of this and documented what was happening, because NOW, when I say things were melting at the outlets, at first it sounded crazy but now there is an explanation and I can say I'm not just coming up with something NOW to fit what was happening then. Same thing with my recording equipment in visitation at the state offices. The batteries kept draining too fast and then it was turning off and on by itself and the visitation monitor heard it, as I did, because it makes a noise when it's going off or on. First it was the batteries, but then a couple of times, several times, it would say memory was full when it wasn't. I had brand new lithium batteries which already were tested to work fine with everything and they always lasted when we were outside of visitation.

So, ZPE explains batteries draining which caused the electronics to go off. How does it cause a "memory full" reading? I don't know. I took it to Radioshack and the guy even said and witnessed there was only an hour recorded and it should have held up at least twice that.

There is nothing crazy about anything I've said. Everything that happened to me and my son is possible and has a scientific explanation and it is a documented FACT that my son and I were being repeatedly harassed and stalked, and it doesn't take much imagination to believe it could escalate.

I just checked out the zero point energy article on wiki and something is missing now but the date hasn't changed. I am wondering if maybe it was a different wiki article on the same topic. The part about Tesla stuff is missing. There was something about Tesla or the experiments going on in Europe. Telsa? This is what I think I read, which causes particles to spin and is generating new forms of energy.

UPDATE: I was right. It's Tesla and for whatever reason, it was removed from the wiki page but somehow done without altering or updating the date. It still said "last updated July 16, 2009" but when I first read it, it mentioned Tesla and then I read it several hours later and that part was gone.

So I looked up "Tesla energy" and it's pretty interesting. It has to do with electromagnetic energy, generators, and point-to-point electrical conduction. It also mentioned something that caught my attention--about how it's easier to conduct higher energy charges with an accompanying High Radio Frequency.

This is odd and possibly significant because there WAS a higher than normal radio frequency at this time and I kept calling the phone company to try to fix it. I asked Andy Panda about it too and he thought it was maybe because there were radio towers in the area. It was so loud, the radio was bleeding into the landline, and then it kept getting worse. Well, read this, from wiki, about what this does:

"In a spark gap Tesla coil the primary-to-secondary energy transfer process happens repetitively at typical pulsing rates of 50–500 times/second, and previously formed leader channels don't get a chance to fully cool down between pulses. So, on successive pulses, newer discharges can build upon the hot pathways left by their predecessors. This causes incremental growth of the leader from one pulse to the next, lengthening the entire discharge on each successive pulse. Repetitive pulsing causes the discharges to grow until the average energy that's available from the Tesla coil during each pulse balances the average energy being lost in the discharges (mostly as heat). At this point, dynamic equilibrium is reached, and the discharges have reached their maximum length for the Tesla coil's output power level. The unique combination of a rising high voltage Radio Frequency envelope and repetitive pulsing seem to be ideally suited to creating long, branching discharges that are considerably longer than would be otherwise expected by output voltage considerations alone. " (from wiki:

I think I'm getting warmer, WARMER...

I think there's a connection here. The page on ZPE mentioned this technology arose from and is still experimented with Tesla and such generators. So I don't know anything about this stuff, and I looked up tesla and then units of energy and then finally tesla coils.

I don't know that this was about Tesla coils, but the principle is interesting. For some reason, that Radio Frequency may have been used as a conduit for some form of energy, possibly between two metal "poles" so-to-speak.

Oh this is interesting too. Tesla is now used more for electrical lines but originally it was used for "wireless connections"!

I found more interesting points, first read about how Tesla said electromagnetic waves could be harnessed through energies such as ZPE. With larger coils, it causes heating of the body through the looping currents. From wiki:

"Large Tesla coils and magnifiers can deliver dangerous levels of high frequency current, and they can also develop significantly higher voltages (often 250,000–500,000 volts, or more). Because of the higher voltages, large systems can deliver higher energy, potentially lethal, repetitive high voltage capacitor discharges from their top terminals. Doubling the output voltage quadruples the electrostatic energy stored in a given top terminal capacitance. If an unwary experimenter accidentally places himself in path of the high voltage capacitor discharge to ground, the low current electric shock can cause involuntary spasms of major muscle groups and may induce life-threatening ventricular fibrillation and cardiac arrest. Even lower power vacuum tube or solid state Tesla coils can deliver RF currents that are capable of causing temporary internal tissue, nerve, or joint damage through Joule heating. In addition, an RF arc can carbonize flesh, causing a painful and dangerous bone-deep RF burn that may take months to heal."

I remember Andy Panda told me when Radio Frequency is raised or higher, it enables people to "jump onto" computers, including desktops, more easily. After reading this, it appears to be along the Tesla principles...if Tesla was originally used for wireless communication, and High Radio Frequency enables this to occur.

(I haven't put the pieces altogether yet but I think I can get there. There are several energy forms and technologies to consider, but some of the general principles are becoming apparent).

I do think it's strange that the mention of Tesla disappeared from the wiki page about zero point energy without an editing date change.

Energy Experiments Between 2 Metal Poles

I just read this from wiki, though I need to read more. According to wikipedia, this form of zero point energy was first experimented and a flow or exchange of energy demonstrated flowing inbetween two metal points or poles. I don't know if this form of energy is strong enough to cause things that were happening at our house, but it's interesting that two metal points are required. According to the Casimir efffect, the experiment is done with a metal object at one point and then another metal objest at another point, and the energy exchange occurs in the middle. I observed a man with a "metal detector" at the back of our property, behind our house, and then another man taking something out of a metal pipe that was in the ground and in front of our house.

Experimental observations
A phenomenon that is commonly presented as evidence for the existence of zero-point energy in vacuum is the Casimir effect. This effect was proposed in 1948 by Dutch physicist Hendrik B. G. Casimir (Philips Research), who considered the quantized electromagnetic field between a pair of grounded, neutral metal plates. The vacuum energy contains contributions from all wavelengths, except those excluded by the spacing between plates. As the plates draw together, more wavelengths are excluded and the vacuum energy decreases. The decrease in energy means there must be a force doing work on the plates as they move. This force has been measured and found to be in good agreement with the theory. However, there is still some debate on whether vacuum energy explains the Casimir effect as the force can be explained equally well by a different theory involving charge-current interactions (the radiation-reaction picture), as argued by Robert Jaffe of MIT. [4]

The experimentally measured Lamb shift has been argued to be, in part, a zero-point energy effect.[5]

Confidential Energy Meetings In Wenatchee, WA

I also know that alternative forms of fueling automobiles has been discussed in Wenatchee, WA because when I left for San Francisco, the man I spoke with from New Zealand had given a lecture at the Wenatchee convention center or something, on this very topic. He said it was all still pretty secretive and he couldn't share details but people from around the area were meeting to discuss other forms of energy to power automobiles. I said, "You mean like biodiesel?" and he said no, it was something else.

He said people in the area were working on alternative forms of energy for powering houses and everything else as well.

I asked why people in Wenatchee would pay for someone as top dollar as he was to fly into Wenatchee to give a lecture and discuss this. He said he did it as a favor to someone. Usually, he's in Europe and flying to big cities. So I thought it was strange he'd be brought in. But he said there are projects underway and some people came from the State, not just Wenatchee.

I also found out, the people on the Board of Directors for Chava, some of them also have a background dealing with Uranium and other forms of energy and I imagine the uranium field isn't exactly enormous so maybe Michael Sandidge is known in their circles and not just Hanford and other international circles.

I basically think some of what happened matches an electromagnetic pulse being used to get onto desktop, and cause other problems, but this other technology, of being able to pull energy from one source and then hijack an outlet and cram energy INTO this source is what happened. But it was constant for us, for a long time and it causes very severe pain.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

So Many Driving By

I'm at my desk at my window and today there have been SO many people driving by, slowly, looking at the house the whole time.

Keeping Commenters Anonymous

I told a guy at the UA place I had a blog after he and I chatted for awhile. All these drug rehab guys, I think, know I'm not a substance abuser. But he thought it was an interesting and cool blog but I didn't want to publish his comment because he gave out his email address and I don't want to identify him or have him getting spam.

He wants to chat on a personal level, not from a drug counselor standpoint. I've never had a "dirty" UA. And the first month I was here, they were testing me twice a week.

But I say this, to invite anyone else who wants to submit a comment privately, to do so and I would also email privately.

CPS Delays On Turning Over Evidence Of Abuse

I got the photos of the cut and bruising on my son's face which was dismissed as a "scratch" almost a month ago and turned it over to CPS.

My lawyer requested the visitation monitors notes from that visit, where he said he was beat up, to be turned over to us and CPS delayed on turning over ANY visitation monitor's notes until a few days ago.

The next hearing is scheduled for July 22, 2009 and they knew I wanted to make a motion about it but we couldn' do so without the evidence.

We have nothing to go off of in time so we asked for a continuance for a couple of weeks, but I would somehow like to find a way to get some of this information to the Judge sooner than later because my son is still showing the bruisng on his ankles and legs, in the same pattern as well.

CPS left us with only a few days, and turned oer the evidence after they knew it was too late to be submitted on time according to court rules of procedure.

I'll have to get the exact date that the request was made and when things were actually delivered. A state worker dropped off two huge boxes when they specifically knew we had requested the one visit's documentation, and it shouldn't have taken long to produce it and deliver it.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Quit Smoking Nicotine

I tried smoking tobacco in the last 2 weeks but I've quit (I just wrote "smoking" but thought I should clarify!) I did it mainly out of curiosity because I wanted to know why so many people do it and what the deal is. I wondered if it might make me sharper somehow, because you always see these reporters and others smoking while working on an important project. You know, so I wondered. I have to say, you don't have to have an addictive personality to be addicted to it. I didn't get addicted but I quit before it had a chance. I've never been addicted to anything and don't need to start with nicotine, although there are a few random medicinal benefits and tobacco leaves around a wound helps inflammation and is an old Native American remedy for this.

Smoked the last one down to the nub.

I put these photos up for fun. I am hoping it is the last and only time anyone sees me smoking, but I thought it was fun to document my attempt to step in the shoes of the cigarette smokers. I understand you! I have heard it is the hardest habit to break and I agree and I only smoked for two weeks to see if it might be a legal form to help with migraine or do something with blood flow. When I get my next migraine I might try it for that and see if there's an effect at all.

A girlfriend helped take these and make selections.

22nd Witness Statement In Support Of Me

See, no fatty discrimination from me. I was a fattie too. I had to refresh one neighbor's memory because she didn't even recognize me thin because I was huge pregnant and then huge afterwards for some time. I need to fix some of these dates though, because I realize my neighbors knew me longer because they knew me while I was pregnant AND after, so that's more like from 2005-2007 than 2006-2007. Maybe not two full years but 1 1/2.

Statement of Trish Hughes

My name is Trish Hughes and I remember seeing Cameo and Oliver walking back and forth from the library all the time, and I talked to her at my house in 2006-2007. I live across the street from the Post Office, in the same neighborhood.

I remember her when she was overweight and I’ve just now asked her how she lost it because I’ve been trying to lose weight for so long. I remember seeing her every day, walking.

We talked on the porch and she was always waving when they passed by on their walks. Her son was always happy and didn’t seem to be mistreated or anything. The big thing was that he was happy.

I remember seeing her walking while she was pregnant and then after he was born.

I didn’t even recognize her today when she asked if I wanted to make a statement, until she told me how she used to be fat and then I thought, “Oh! I remember her!”

I never thought she was on drugs or alcohol because she didn’t seem like the type.

I am a single mom and have raised both of my children on my own and I believe Cameo was a good mom from everything I observed.

I swear the above statement is true to the best of my ability and belief and is made under penalty of perjury and for purposes of evidence in a court of law.

Trish Hughes

Statement Made July 17, 2009

21st Witness Statement In Support Of Me

Statement Of Kathy Schoenwald

I am a 49 year old female who lived across from Cameo Garrett with my husband and son for approximately a year. I talked to her frequently--she would come over with Oliver to talk across the fence while I was watching my autistic son. We talked about autism, about how Oliver was doing, how Marcus was doing and about autism in general because she was quite interested in it. She was interested in some of his characteristics. We talked about how Oliver was doing and that he might have some medical problems because of the choroid cysts in the brain from before childbirth that showed up on ultrasound. I remember too, she was absolutely HUGE, and had a huge belly and baby before he was born and after.

I saw her taking him for walks in his stroller a lot and sitting on the porch with him on her lap. She would always wave to me. Oliver seemed to be fine--happy and well-adjusted.

She was really nice and friendly and she would take the time to come over and talk to me.

She had car vandalisms and I remember one time they broke the window and ripped out the stereo and slashed the tires and I remember how upset she was. I remember a window was broken in the house as well.

I never noticed any drug or alcohol use and truly, she seemed genuinely wanting to take care of him and be a good mom. He looked like he was well cared for.

I knew Cameo and Oliver from 2006-2007.

I swear this is true to the best of my ability and belief and know it is subject to penalty for perjury and is made for purposes of evidence in court.

Kathy Schoenwald

Statement Made July 17, 2009

Memory Cards Stolen From Our House & My Purse

Several memory cards which had uploaded videotaped vistiations between me and my son were stolen from my purse. It had to have happened in the last week. I had two in my purse in a pocket and only once did my purse fall over and nothing came out then.

Not only that, one of my housemates said one of his memory cards was also missing. I don't know if he found it, but he asked me about this a few days ago and said it had been on the windowsill near my belongings and in the room where I sleep and he couldn't find it. I'll have to ask him if he found it.

The videotaped visitation was all legal, and done prior to Judge Hotchkiss's order and it contradicted some of the visitation notes which were then, especially, negative and saying my son wasn't affectionate with me.

I blogged about how my brother called and wanted me to upload the rest of what I had, and I was going to do it, and then they were stolen.

There is absolutely no possible way they were lost by me or fell out. I've never dropped my purse.

I do have some back-up materials, to back up what was on the memory cards.

And then, while my purse was in police storage, someone deleted everything from one visit off.

The visit deleted by someone with access to police storage, was on a memory card with 4 GB. The other two cards which were full of visitation videotaping, were also 4 GB on one, I believe, and 8 GB on the other and they were small blue Sandisc SDHC cards.

I blogged about how my brother called and wanted me to upload the rest of what I had, and I was going to do it, and then they were stolen.

There is absolutely no possible way they were lost by me or fell out. I've never dropped my purse.

I do have some back-up materials, to back up what was on the memory cards.

And then, while my purse was in police storage, someone deleted everything from one visit off.

The visit deleted by someone with access to police storage, was on a memory card with 4 GB. The other two cards which were full of visitation videotaping, were also 4 GB on one, I believe, and 8 GB on the other and they were small blue Sandisc SDHC cards.

Last week I'd asked the visitation monitor if she would speak with my lawyer and she agreed and then this week my lawyer and I made a call to her workplace to find out when she would be available and I let her know again, on Wednesday, that we would like to get testimony from her. She said this was fine with her but she had to run it by her supervisors.

I don't know what's going on yet because to me, she said she was willing to testify about all the odd bruising and how many and that we counted them out before I went to the police, and then when I talked to the officers they told me they called her and she denied seeing any or that we counted them out. And on that day, there were many and I made a point of counting them out on my son with her watching and confirming they were there.

I am hoping she is just somehow pressured by a state worker or Children't Home Society, to write reports which would favor the Avilas and be more negative about me. I am hoping it's just because times are tight and because she needs a job, and I hope she's just willing to tell the truth, the whole truth.

I have videotape stuff which really counters a lot of what's been said, but I would rather hear it from her, what her honest opinions are. I don't dislike her as a person at all. She has always been courteous and never harassed me in any way. I also trust her with transporting my son, although I would not just let anyone take my son places without getting to know them over time. However, my son likes her and I've never once thought she was ever harming my son in any way or that any of the bruising came from her. It's clear my son likes her and is not afraid of her in any way.

It's just that her notes are far different from the notes taken by other visitation monitors in the past (at least they were in the beginning but they may have changed because I've not seen them lately) and CPS has wanted to stick with her and claim there is no bond between me and my son or that there's something wrong with my interactions with him. Everyone who knows me, knows there's nothing wrong and they would trust their own children with me, just as many have in the past. I'm very good with children, whether they're my own or the children of someone else.

#2 Character Witness Statement In Support Of Me

This is a voluntary freely made statement from the perspective and personality of someone besides myself.

Statement by Silas Price

I have known Cameo Garrett for two months and see her approximately 4 hours a day. She is fun: for one thing, she has interesting conversations with everyone who comes around the house. She has a good-hearted sense of humor, and has good jokes, not wrong, mean, or malicious. She doesn't make fun of people but she teases and jokes around. She laughs a lot and is generally happy. She doens't have mood swings more than anyone else and is pretty stable. She handles the hardships of life very well. She is definitely not delusional, paranoid schitzophrenic, or anything at all and we're all still alive here.

She's just friends with everybody in the household here, and to my knowledge she's not even dating.

I like her personality and she seems to have good morals and ambitions. She wants to be a writer and to also help people. She wants to be a creative writer or teacher and she's trying to get her son back. She talks aout her son a lot and says he's a great kid and that he's not treated right to be separated from her. She's been trying to find work but the town has no work and she's sent out resumes, filled out applicationsk, and has gone to workplaces in person.

She does a good job of cleaning and everything is cleaned thoroughly and disinfected. She also cooks good, healthy meals--everything has tasted pretty good.

She doesn't seem to have a problem with drugs and alcohol. I've never seen her abuse them and maybe she'll have a glass of wine every 4 nights. I've never seen her using drugs or thought she was outside of the house.

I think she'd be a good mom. I think she'd probably be a little bit too lenient with her kids, and have a hard time punishing them. She's very and kind-hearted. She's probably pissed off a lot of people but she's different with people she knows. She doesn't have much of a temper. It would take quite a bit to make her angry and if she was angry about anything, I believe it would be for a good reason. I've never really seen her mad. She seems very mild tempered.

She seems like an all-around good mother and should be a good mother (I haven't seen her with her child), but is an overall good person.

I swear this statement is true to the best of my ability and belief and I know it is made under penalty of perjury and may be used as evidence in a court of law.

Silas Price

Statement taken July 16, 2009

Thursday, July 16, 2009

3 More Witness Statements To Come & Political Asylum

I got 3 more witness statements tonight and I talked to some others who should be providing me with more which will add another 3 witness statements to support me. They are able to confirm the extent of the harassment and vandalisms going on at the time, which the Wenatchee police did nothing about.

In fact, most recently, the Chelan County detectives I went to over bruising on Oliver, wrote ME up as having a "history" and cited about 100 calls made to their offices or reports, having to do with me, made mainly by me. These officers tried to write out I had "mental health issues" as if this explained things. The truth is, I DID document almost every incident of vandalism, and it was happening twice a week, for over a half a year and continued in East Wenatchee.

The fact is, I was told, by police, I should just "move" or "go into hiding".

One house of neighbors who helped give me a very descriptive statement about all the evidence of harassment and vandalism and stalking, were soon thereafter visited by police, neighbors told me tonight, and basically forced out of town. I found out where they went but I have to track them down.

This harassment and vandalism which is again being documented by witnesses, who saw this happen in the past, first began in Oregon. The electronics problems also first began in Oregon.

It picked up after I moved to Wenatchee, Washington, and then it escalated.

I think my very broad umbrella can be somewhat narrowed down, when I think about it. This was a pattern of abuse and harassment with roots that began in Oregon and didn't come out of nowhere in Wenatchee. It may be some individuals in Wenatchee were involved, and I do know of a few, but this all first began in Oregon.

People have wanted to make me out to be crazy so no one would believe the extent of the harassment, intimidation, and involvement by some members of law enforcement.

UPDATE: I forgot to add, that I actually didn't even document ALL of the harassment. Otherwise there would be even MORE reports. After awhile, police refused to come out to document it and said they were just writing it down. I would call later and find no report or case number was even made. The cops would say, "Yeah, your tire was slashed. I believe you. I don't need to come out to see a slashed tire to believe it."

At first they'd come out. Then they told me to "move" or "go into hiding". Finally, they wouldn't come out at all. I was discouraged from reporting what was going on so I gave up calling, but it continued and all the neighbors knew.

I then tried to contact other organizations for help, like the FBI, and no one did anything. So, because no one would investigate what was going on, and it was escalating, I began looking into political asylum. It wasn't a crazy thing to do. The rules of political asylum are that if you are in danger and your own country will not protect you, you have a right to be safe elsewhere.

I was not only being harassed by some unknown group, I was being harassed by police and pulled over all the time for things I didn't do, and I went to jail on a false arrest. The police even refused to investigate a rape I reported which I gave evidence for and some of that evidence disappeared from the police storage and the rest was never even sent to a lab to be analyzed. I also was being harassed by members of the justice system and state workers and no one was doing anything about mail disturbances and interference.

Ground rules for political asylum are such that if you are not safe, and law enforcement or appropriate persons won't help you or are involved, another country can provide sanctuary. First you have to demonstrate that you exhausted all reasonable efforts to find a way to be safe. You have to also demonstrate damages and the risk of staying in your own country. If you live in a large country, like India, you have to show how you tried to relocate and live in another area to see if that helped. I'd already done that. I'd moved from Oregon to Washington and it was the same old thing. Then, even after my son was taken, I experienced some of the same over in Washington D.C. which is all the way on the other side of the country. Police weren't harassing me in D.C., but other things were happening again. And, I even had people with the government trying to frame me for marriage fraud or immigration stuff which would have landed me in prison. People were still trying to set me up.

I began collecting statements from neighbors to support my inquiry into political asylum. Those statements disappeared from my storage but I'm newly recollecting evidence.

At this point, it is to prove what I have been saying was going on, WAS going on. In my opinion, is still going on, because I have others coming out of the woodwork to lie and claim I stole a car or held a knife. Just garbage, still. And now, threats about never seeing my son again and how people are going to make sure to it. I'm still having things stolen, and people lying about me as well and allowing what is reasonably considered abuse of my son to continue. Not to mention, evidence being destroyed while my belongings were in police custody by someone with access to police storage.

No, I'm not currently looking for political asylum. But it was reasonable for me to look into it when I did and find out what the rules are. I was being refused FOIA from the FBI and had that whole thing blown over with the police in Portland too.

But don't get me wrong. I do not think all police are bad by any means. Some have been very helpful and others are doing dangerous work and a great job for everyone, sometimes with little thanks. That goes for those who work with the system and in government jobs too.

20th Witness Statement In Support Of Me

Statement of Creston Allen

Cameo was our neighbor on Methow St. I would see her on occasion,-- she would stop by with Oliver. Oliver loved to play with the dogs, more or less infatuated with them. Always seemed like a very happy child. He would sit and play and seemed really smart for his age. Never seen any signs of anything to leave any doubts in my mind he wasn’t very well-taken care of. His appearance was always neat and clean.
For his age, he was very ahead of child development.

She seemed to be a very loving and caring mother. Very watchful, never took her eyes off of him. Always seemed to put him first. Pretty much, based her life around his. She was always neat and clean. Very well-mannered person and a very kind and thoughtful person. At times, a person with a lot on her mind, and was going through some hard times and seemed to be handling it very well or as well as could be expected. As normal a person as anybody else.

In all the visits, I never saw her raise her voice at him. She is one of the few people in my life I would have no doubt in my mind leaving my child with.

My own sister came to the door asking for a statement from me when her child was taken and I absolutely refused, because there WERE doubts about her. But I have no doubts about Cameo.

In my opinion, I believe the state should be trying to get them back together instead of keeping them apart. I see no reason that this should have ever happened. We saw them on a daily basis, whether it was for a few minutes or a couple of hours.

Now, she is the same-- very well organized, well-mannered, and very concerned about getting back with Oliver.

I swear under penalty of perjury that the above statement was made in truth, to the best of my ability and belief and may be used as evidence in a court of law.

Statement Taken The Evening of July 16, 2009.

19th Witness Statement About Harassment & In Support Of Me

This statement I took this evening refreshed my memory about a number of things. Mainly, when the electronics equipment first began, and that it was in Portland, Oregon. Later, the same exact things happened in Wenatchee, Washington, but some of the numbers were tracing back to Seattle, Washington.

Statement of Linda Trostel

I used to have a daycare for 25 years and was licensed for 15 years with the State of Washington. I was a mandatory reporter for child abuse and neglect and also visited by the state for routine inspection. That was the last few years they started that (normal routine inspection). There was never any charge against me for anything wrong in all those 25 years.

Cameo was walking by one day and we started talking to each other. She had such a cute little boy we became friends and I started noticing things that were going on, like the car vandalisms and that he was such a happy little boy. I remember when she was showing me and telling me and I thought it was odd because there were all these cars and it was only hers.

I thought she was a normal person but a little stressed out and I think it was due to some of the things going on, but she wasn’t “mental”, not “drug using”, just stressed out because everybody’s saying what’s going on is not happening. Something was going on with her computer too. She would email people and someone got ahold of it and she couldn’t use it…the fax machine. It was the computer and the fax machine. I believed it was happening and I don’t see any reason why she would lie about that. If your fax machine is fine until you send something out to a particular person and it’s not working, it’s weird and the fax machine was new. You can’t tell me somebody can’t do that because probably they can.

She has a nice personality and I didn’t see any drama-type personality. She was pretty stressed but she was still handling it okay, it wasn’t like she was in la-la land. I took her to Seattle for a doctor’s appointment. If she was on drugs she would be acting out of it. To me, very alert and very concerned about her son.

Mostly she talked about Oliver and also what was happening.

She was a very loving and caring mother. She wouldn’t even let me smoke in the car with the window down (laughter) , but I made it. You could tell that Oliver loved his mother very much. He wasn’t clingy but you could tell that he loved his mom. He was always hugging and kissing her.

Oliver was a SMART little kid. He was smarter, for his age, than a lot of kids I see. He was very loveable. He was just a loveable little boy and I loved him to pieces. He was always dragging me outside to play with him. The thing he liked the most was the dogs and he would just hug them. He would play with cars and I read him some books and he would repeat some things I said. For his age, he knew what you were talking about and he was even talking to. He wasn’t underdeveloped at all. I knew him from before age 1, and he was talking THEN and even earlier. As far as I know he was very healthy. She gave him organic milk and all this stuff, taking him to the health food store to buy organic food for him. $50 for two little bags! He was walking early, talking early, and repeating things I’d point out at story time. I never saw any bruising on him or anything.

They were very close. If he had been abused in any way, he would have been shying away but you could tell, they were very close and loving.

I always saw them walking and she never neglected him. I know she did not neglect him. You can tell a neglected child and he was not neglected--he was very much loved. He missed his mother when she left and was very happy to see her when she came back. I babysat him for about an hour about 5 times when she was at appointments. We became really good friends and saw each other on pretty much a daily basis. From day to day, if something was wrong, you think you would notice, but there was never anything wrong. She let me babysit him alone after we got to know each other very well, at least several months, seeing each other every day or almost every day.

They were very tight. I can’t imagine what he’s going through right now being without his mother…A very lost soul.

She had a good personality, and she seemed stressed but she was never over-reacting when there’s all these cars and then her car, and it’s just her car getting hit. Why would they vandalize the same car over and over and over again?

She seems to have it all together now too, and well-mannered, and trying to get Oliver back is her main goal. She’s just trying to tell the truth to get her son back.

Her main concern has always been Oliver.

I swear under penalty of perjury that the above statement was made in truth, to the best of my ability and belief and may be used as evidence in a court of law.

Statement Made July 16, 2009

18th Witness Statement In Support Of Me

Statement of Vince Duncan

Cam and Oliver were always good neighbors. Cam was always good to Oliver when we were passing by or they would stop by to visit and talk or pet the dog. I’ve never seen any conflict between Cam and Oliver. They were very pleasant to talk to when they came by and always were a respectful neighbor.

They also associated with the neighbors and children across the street and I never saw any problems over there and they would play together a lot. There were generally three kids playing with Oliver and his mother was supervising outside.

She was very friendly and sociable. Oliver was always happy. As far as I could tell, Oliver was always a little happy camper. They always seemed happy and content.

And no, l never suspected or thought she was ever under the influence of drugs or alcohol.

I knew them for about a year.

I swear under penalty of perjury that the above statement was made in truth, to the best of my ability and belief and may be used as evidence in a court of law.

Made July 16, 2009

Truthfulness or Defamation About People I've Named

I am stating again, for the record, that while I've written some fiction in this blog and done creative writing exercises, any time I've NAMED someone, I have not defamed them. If I have named someone at any point in this blog, if they did something, I was writing fact. If I don't know for sure, I write that I don't know for sure.

But I have never written anything fictional or defamatory about any individual in this blog, ever. They may not like what I've written, but it was true.

I had my ex-fiance tell me to say my entire blog was just pure fiction, for a "book" but I wouldn't. I went back and forth a couple times on things I wrote about him because I was trying to ascertain the truth of something, but he knew, as did I, that what I wrote was true.

He recently wrote me an email again, asking how I was doing. I asked him why he bothered to ask. He's written only before hearings, and has not followed through on promises he made, on one occasion, to testify I wasn't drug seeking, even though he wrote he knew I wasn't. I wrote back to him most recently that yeah, when he admitted too what he did with Mykal Holt, I would say my blog or what I wrote about him was fiction. I asked him not to write again unless he had a major conversion. He wanted to know where I was living, but offered no information about himself.

Would I really go back and claim something I said was true is false? No, not where I've written about others, because that would be highly immoral and wrong.

If I wrote it, it happened.

That said, sometimes I've named someone but not known for sure if they were up to no good or not, but I DO make a point to say if I have doubts because I would never falsely accuse someone of something.

Like I've said before, there are a few things about MYSELF that I've written which may or may not be true, but it doesn't involve OTHERS. If I've written something to be misleading or just keep my privacy more intact, or discern the truth, it was only about myself where it didn't or would NOT involve another person. If it doesn't concern or affect someone else, I think I have a right to write whatever I want in my own journal or blog, and if someone really wants to get to the bottom of things, they can ask me.

The other parts where I've written fiction, is creative writing stuff. That stuff is sometimes based on truth and other times out of creative license.

Again, I have only written about others, or named them, when I felt there was something "off" about them or their interaction with me and I have been trying to figure something out. I've never named my friends fully, nor do I name general strangers, or even people who insult me personally (like the recent cafe waitress). There are a lot of things which are NOT important to me to write about. If I didn't feel the need to protect myself and my son, by putting something out in the public record in case someone wants to come to me with information, I wouldn't write about anyone at all.

I didn't file for litigation against a church until AFTER I found out they were defaming me to police and the public. When I found out this was going on, my ONLY defense, really, was to try to clear my name through a lawsuit. So that's why I filed. It wasn't even for the money, though I did deserve to be compensated.

With my blog, I didn't begin blogging publicly until I was being harassed with vandalisms and property damage again, profiled by police, falsely arrested and jailed, and Wenatchee medical professionals were lying about me to CPS. In defense, I began writing in a blog to voice from my own position, what was going on, and because I hoped someone out there would help me piece together what was happening and where the assault was coming from.

With my son, I was very protective of him, and didn't use his name or photo online, or even write about him, until HE became an issue and people were doing things which were wrong, to take him from me to punish ME, or finally, when I began seeing the harms that affected him for which we needed assistance. It was DEFENSIVE, my writing, and a resort to discarding privacy when protection was a greater gain.

I have never once, gone out of my way to "start something". If I've ever written about anyone or made a complaint, it was only out of a defensive mode where I had to do something to protect myself or my son or the damages would and could have been greater.

As for what was happening in E.Wenatchee, yeah, I may have sounded nuts when I documented what I did, but I can surely attest that once I got some of the story out and got away, it's ummm, never happened since. Who would dare? By now, whomever was responsible knows too many people know potentially and they don't even know who may have already gone forward to some investigative agency with information. So I DID protect my son.

When I have police and the state ignoring odd bruising on my son's legs and other strange marks and the "scratch" on his face that doesn't add up, maybe it is very sad to put that up online, but who else is protecting my son and making it clear his mother isn't "seeing things" and is not delusional? The police in Wenatchee and the state BOTH have and were completely ignoring these things and were trying to say, my word against theirs, with no photo evidence, that I was paranoid and delusional. I think I've proved my point, at least with the public.

I hear comments like one recently from an annonymous, who says I should stop blogging now and then "blog away!" after I have my son again. What kind of sense does that make? The whole point to my blogging now is not just creative writing, but to protect myself and my son and put it out to a wider audience for better protection. If I had my son BACK, with me, I wouldn't even have a need to blog. When he was with my before, I blogged because we were being harassed by medical professionals and still, having car vandalisms and problems.

If I blogged at ALL after getting my son back, it would be to public stories of public interest only. Like something about Hanford, something about this or that legal case in Wenatchee. It would be something of an alternative newsource and I wouldn't even be interested in putting ANY information about my or my son's life online.

It's a little late, to start documenting things after you're dead. I feel, there have been many individuals who would bury me alive if they could and they do NOT WANT the public to know what's going on.

People are on their toes more, when I'm documenting things and blogging. They may hate me more and it may anger them, but they also know that if I keep writing, at some point, they might get into trouble.

Has blogging done me any good? Yes, it has.

It has been a healthy way to channel thoughts and emotions. It has convinced some groups to quit some of their forms of harassment against me and my son. It has put some groups on notice. It has been a form of public documentation that I'm not the crazy person in this whole thing. It may have made me look nuts to write about health problems and hacking and electrical issues in E.Wenatchee, but the fact is, it quit happening. If it had continued, my son and I would have been further harmed and that stuff didn't quit happening because I 'felt safe', because I didn't feel anymore safe in Canada than the U.S. Also, my stress levels were far higher after my son was taken from me, and people with true mental illness get WORSE, not better, with the addition of stress. What I reported was accurate and my perception of pain was also accurate. It was all true, and I was willing to go to jail or be considered nuts to protect my own son.

There is nothing I could have done differently. If I had never blogged or filed lawsuits, I would have continued to be harassed and pursued because it was going on and then only slowed down once I got public notice on what was happening.

What I have done, has been protective and defensive.

I think about not blogging, even now, and can't imagine how that can help me or my son. I'm supposed to sit through visitations while no one advocates for him and his wishes? or documents the marks on his body that are clearly not from "playing"? I'm supposed to allow the public to think the worst of me, that I'm a bad mom, and the state must have had something on me, when really I was just denied reasonable representation and then told to be pro se and hung up on so I couldn't even defend myself and giving them a win by default? I'm supposed to allow everyone to think my son and I never had actual physical injuries from childbirth and that I really AM just plain nuts or delusional or paranoid or "out to get" "people you don't like" who "don't do what you want"?

When I still have people lying about me, and TO me, who work for the state, and stalling on things, why am I supposed to think quitting my blog is going to help? It just goes back to making a process secretive and I'm told to put my faith in a justice system when I've already had it used against me. I'm told the court of public opinion isn't going to help me on this dependency case, and that I need to address issues with the Judge and the state, but no one is helping me there and so far, I still have people screwing with me, even though I have a lawyer. I'm getting the lawyer a little late in the game besides.

If no one is doing anything "wrong" or corrupt, no one should even care that I have a blog because they have nothing to be worried about. They know I would never write about them because they've done nothing wrong.

If people QUIT harassing me and just followed the law, this entire blog, along with their own concerns about it, would go away. There would be peace. But it seems that I'm expected to shut my mouth while I and my son take a beating in private.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Copy of Email to "The Department"

Psychological Evaluation Selection‏
From: cam huegenot (
Sent: Wed 7/15/09 4:59 PM
To: Michelle K. (DSHS/CA) Erickson (;

I have found someone who is contracted with the state who might be able to get me in within one week.

I like Robin Ladue, but if this other person is good and can get me in, I'll go to them. Please give me a day to contact their offices again and find out a little more about their requirements and how this person is different from Robin Ladue.

Something I'd like to know, at this point, is if I can be double-scheduled if it comes down to it because if one backs out I want the other one to be available.

There have been far too many problems with the department setting me up witha normal psychologist who can hold their ground and follow through, or it has been the fault of the department for not contracting or getting things done in a timely manner.

I take the first 2-3 months of lying about not getting messages from me when I called from D.C. to be enough evidence of an attempt to stall and run out the clock. I'm tired of this.

At this point, it may come down to double scheduling.

However, I would like one day to do some research.

I called Robin Ladue just this afternoon and said I would be willing to go to her on the 14th but that I'd call her to get ahold of her in person tomorrow.

I will try to make a decision tomorrow.



Another Psychologist Back-Out Or CPS Issue

The psychologist who said I was no longer penciled in, had told the state worker she was available August 7. I had said I wanted to get in immediately and I guess the day after I wrote my post about CPS's psychologist's backing out and bad faith on the part of the state, CPS organized to have my evaluated by that same woman, on August 7th.

So I was told this was done. CPS was to go ahead and got the okay from my lawyer to schedule it and this was over a week ago.

Suddenly, there has been another cancellation. Today my lawyer let me know CPS announced the appointment was cancelled and the psychologist couldn't do it until August 14, which is just days before my hearing where by this time "progess has to have been made."

I fail to see how I can make "progress" when the state and their picks for psychologists keep backing out at the last minute and jerking me around. Someone isn't doing their job, whether it's their state picks or THEM, not getting on the ball.

My lawyer told CPS to set up the contract with this last psychologist and they didn't do it, so the psychologist, I guess, cancelled. Said she could get me in "later".

I'm going with someone else who is able to get me in on the same date of August 14th.

But that's pushing it all the way to, basically, the finish line, and this has not once been my fault.

I have been asking CPS for over EIGHT months, to set up a psych eval and let me GET THIS DONE. They ignored me for months and then just me up with one person after the other who backed out or they didn't do their job and get the contracting done.

I don't care if I'm not supposed to blog, at this point, on something like this, I think it's notice to the public about what is going on.

It's wrong.

It's not only a violation of my rights, this has been harmful to my son and prejudiced HIS rights. This last psychologist to go back and forth was Diane Fligstein.

I don't have a need to write about ANY psychologist, but I don't really respect this kind of behavior and no is saying it has anything to do with my blog. They're just going along with what the state wants, which is clearly to stall and not even allow me to have a psych eval done at all, or in an expedient manner.

I told this last psychologist, well ahead of time, about my blog and gave her the address for it as well. She couldn't have backed out because of my writing on a blog, and, to date, not one psychologist from the state has even made this claim to me. They just say they can't do it, after agreeing to do it or scheduling me in. CPS is the only party that is in communication with these state-paid psychologists. I hardly talk to them at all. They all seem fine and then they back out, even after agreeing, and after reviewing my blog and telling me everything is fine, for 1-2 months. I get dragged along all the way up to hearing dates, and then one cancellation or fall-out right before a hearing, after the other.

Is anyone thinking CPS is really interested in my having a psych eval even DONE? One state worker TOLD me that if they got this delayed out past August, they didn't have an obligation to even pay for one anymore. So it seems like this is what they want.

They do not want a psychological evaluation of me and they are not doing what is "reasonable" to ensure I have access to services. I do not call having them ignore me and stall and then assign one lousy withdrawing psychologist after the other, "reasonable" but they're claiming they have "no control" over whether a psychologist backs out at the last minute or not.

Could have fooled me.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Character Witness Statement In Support Of Me #1

This was written by one of my housemates, Chris. He wrote it himself, privately, and then told me when he was done (I swear there was no coercion! :))

To whomever it may concern,
I met Cameo Garrett almost two months ago when she was looking for somewhere to stay here in wenatchee while she looked for work. At first she was really quiet but I have since gotten to know her better and though she isn't perfect (most people aren't) we get along great and I trust her completely. She seems very outgoing and friendly. She tries her best to make the best of whatever situation life seems to throw at her. She is always attentive, courteous, and mindful of others. She gets up early and finds things to fill her day. She does talk about her son often and it is quite apparent she misses him. She is very dedicated to being reunited with him and it seems to be what drives her day to day. Having said that she does other things that in my opinion lots of normal people do. She almost religiously goes for a walk every night around the block sometimes further just to get out of the house. She spends a lot of time writing and some of the things she writes about strike some people as odd. But I understand why she writes what she does. Writing to her is a way of putting down her thoughts and it helps channel emotions. Its not the way I do things (I try to write music on my guitar) but it makes sense. To me everyone needs a way to channel emotions because repressing them up doesn't work and I think she has found a healthy way to do it. I see her for about four or five hours everyday and I enjoy having her as a guest in my home. Generally speaking she is fun creative and definitely full of energy. She is adamant about keeping things clean, doesn't do drugs and I've seen her have a glass of wine twice since I met her, cooks on occasion, reads a lot, and doesn't watch TV really ever. She told me that its been rumored that she has a substance abuse problem. I am a recovering alcoholic and half of my former friends were either alcoholics or users of other drugs so I think I know where I'm coming from when I say that she shows no traits of dependence to anything. If there were two things I could suggest that she would work on the first would be though she listens she is also quite talkative once you get to know her and sometimes it can be hard to get a word in edgewise. The other would be that she spend a little more time day to day just relaxing because for me taking a small step back at the end of the day is the best way to see where you need to begin tomorrow. Other than that she seems like a great person and I wish more people that I meet could be as nice as she is.

I swear the above statement is true to my ability and belief and is made for evidence for court under penalty of perjury.

Christopher Patterson