Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Impression & dreams

Last night I read just a few things before falling asleep and I got an impression of a dark-haired woman this time, probably 30-50s? straight hair (or wavy), past the shoulders, and kneeling and bending over all the way and happy. She looked like she was worshiping God or happy about something and either laughing or kept grinning. I saw her full body but didn't pay attention to clothes and it was more seeing the posture. Kneeling but then sort of prostrating the arms over the kneeling. She wasn't super thin and was older than me, I believe. I think at least 40. Thick hair, dark brown or black but it was so fast I couldn't tell really. Her clothing seemed to be dark as well but again, it was so fast it was more of a quick impression.

I saw her when I turned to my Old Testament reading for the night. First I read the New Testament, about Paul going to Rome, and then I turned randomly and read from the Old Testament and it was "The offering of nine" or "The ninth offering". From numbers, of the benjamites. And I wondered what it was about and it was a description of offerings that different tribes gave to the temple and I mainly noticed that right after a silver plate, it listed a bowl for sprinkling and then I thought about how I had sprinkled countries from out of a bowl and sort of wondered. And then I read to see what the sprinkling was about and it was used to sprinkle the Levites with holy water as part of a cleansing ritual where they then shaved off all the hair from their bodies as well. Then I looked it up and later read there are sprinkling bowls for sacrifices too.

It was at reading about the offering that I saw her. And then I just kept reading to see what the sprinkling was for and then fell asleep and didn't have any dreams.

Then this morning I just got up and I didn't care which socks I wore, out of my 3 new pair. It made no difference to me at all, so I randomly picked without looking and ended up wearing the ones with only black and white stripes, like the shirt that boy was wearing. The others have gray on them or other kinds of stripes. I guess it's interesting to me only in the sense that I have wondered if this boy was meant to be an "offering" of sorts or if it was to point to something else that is going on on the world. Not totally random. But I can't judge or claim to know.

At any rate, it was interesting to sort of "see" this woman last night.
It's late afternoon now and I'm having tea to try to wake up. I got some math books but the ones I wanted weren't there so I have to order them online.

I had a weird dream but it wasn't an important one. I can describe some in a minute. It wasn't a repeat dream but it did have this weird part where I look back and see a bridge and then look forward and see a bridge and then suddenly realize I am not living near bridges--I am in a train on the tracks. Which felt sort of concentration camp-like in the dream at first and then it morphed.

But first. I made a cake last night. 5 tiers. For a couple of days I'd been wanting to make chocolate chip cookies and then I was going to buy stuff for this yesterday and ended up being in the mood for cake instead. So we went shopping and I got ingredients for a yellow cake with chocolate buttercream frosting and then I made it in round pans, thinking of my son and preferring circles to squares for him and then I made it 5 layers high, thinking of his age. And I had some good laughs at how it turned out. It's still standing and when I cut it, I get the 5 layers of icing inbetween. Of course, could use some work. I put small cobalt blue flowers with the white buds of hydrangea and a piece of peach colored rose to the side, on the top.

This morning I found out my cousin was proposed to. Is getting married.

And I heard an uncle died, which makes me want to get ahold of my cousin, his daughter.

My dream was that I was staying with a host family for something, and they were remodeling the whole thing. There were different women I talked to in the dream, and one guy was a brother, their brother. Then I was just going from room to room and shown my room, which was in a loft that had a triangular roof or ceiling. There was a triangle room inside of the triangle loft. It wasn't a room really, more of a triangular frame that was in the middle of this triangular room. When I was first shown the room I saw beds and light and windows but the second time I went up the stairs, I was inside of a triangular wood frame or something and it was dark and I said, "Is this where I'm sleeping?" and they said no, and then I went out the other side of the triangle and saw the bed and they pointed out this narrow cot-like bunk bed. It wasn't a cot but it was narrow.

(oh and this has nothing to do with where I'm at right now bc it doesn't match at all).

Entering the room, and coming out of the other side of the triangle, it was a bed to the left, with sunlight falling on it and different covers of different colors folded back. And then there was a bunk to the right and this belonged to one of the sisters.

Then I went back downstairs and the brother was on a bike and had brown hair. He was on a bike in the house. Then I went outside and there were 2 or 3 (I think 3) teen or maybe college age guys, all on bikes and they kept playing music and riding around and then I realized as I was singing by myself, that I should sing with them.

So I suddenly realized the reason I heard music was because they had guitars with them, while they were riding on their bikes. This one guy stopped and started playing this huge triangular red guitar in front of me, but sort of like goofing around. Then the other guy had an electric guitar but it was smaller and more sophisticated and I don't know what the 3rd guy had. So I'd had this song running through my head and I tried to sing it for them but my voice wasn't the same and cracked. It was hoarse. Then rode around more and just didn't care. Finally, I was trying to think of the name of the song and I finally blurted out, "It's "FLOOD" by Jars of Clay." They stopped and one guy stopped and I realized he was a very good guitarist. Then they were off on their bikes again and I was having to say I'd try to sing later because I had lost my voice. I said I was just getting over a cold.

So then I was back in the house and everyone was gathering things together. Cleaning. I helped clean the stove and 2 spoon holders were set down on the stove after it was cleaned. Everything was cleaned.

Then we all went to this one area and were all together, huddled up and I think with blankets or coats or something and I looked back. When I looked back there was a window and the only thing outside was a field and a large commercial style bridge and everything was concrete. I heard something and thought, this land must be cheaper because it's right next to the freeway. But when I heard something I thought it was an airzone. And then I looked forward and out that window was the exact same bridge that was behind me. It was concrete and had arches underneath. And then we started to move and I realized we were in a train on train tracks, or now, thinking outside of the dream, a subway? in the dream, it was a rural wide open field with 2 concrete bridges and nothing else and I was on a train. Everyone inside was chatting and I realized they went back and forth. Everyday they got on a train and left the house they were remodeling and then went back to it to work on it. So I wondered where they stayed in the meantime and then the Dad started talking about something that sounded like a country club resort or hotel. So we got closer and that was the impression, was that they stayed in this really nice hotel temporarily while they worked on a house that was out in a field next to the freeway.
And then the Dad (not my dad) said to me, "We want you to do some dirt-biking." And I thought to myself, "I don't want to ride a dirt bike and I don't want to get into dirt biking." And then I woke up.

It wasn't my family, and felt more like I was seeing how something was for someone else, blended with my own stuff.

I had another dream about living quarters about 2 days ago. I think a nap dream.

I just now felt like looking up a Lyle Lovett song. I didn't know which one I was going to play and I don't remember the videos to any of them, but I chose this one, and it's about owning cows in a field surrounded by skyscrapers or concrete or something. Sort of weird. It's called "If I Had A Boat". http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNkc1UdHYFg.

There is an Irish song I have to hear, but earlier I had a headache and had to take ibuprofen and a nap. But I'll hear it today. It's an Irish folk song, humorous I think.

Here's another rendition of if I had a boat: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dA__N-I7mcc&feature=watch_response.

The other dream I had was the other day and it was that I was given the keys to a small house that had been abandoned by the previous owner, who left all this stuff behind. Before I ended up there, I was staying in a room with a bunks and mainly men in the bunks. It was like a military bunkroom but not huge, like a normal room but with about 5-6 bunkbeds. Then there was a different room and a russian woman came back and forth and she had a son and there were a couple of kids. maybe the woman wasn't russian but I thought maybe she was. And the men were not Russian. White and middle eastern or spanish or slighter darker skin. But there were kids back and forth and it was friendly and then I went to this house and part of it was separated and I looked through things, mainly records and posters. There were a lot of posters of monet, and other classic artists. It was a very short dream.

I don't think either of these dreams mean anything. They are just dreams and it's not like I've had 2 in a row of the same thing. I don't even feel they were really about me or my life, except for the part where I was singing and said the song was Jars of Clay. But then I listened to it and that's not the song I was singing. I was singing a different song and then this title for Flood came up.

In general, I have been feeling just fine about things. I maybe had the dream about being inbetween bridges because I just got these math books and thought, "They didn't have what I wanted so I have to order online."

They didn't have any algebra books, which I need refresher on. So I got one that was for elementary math (to refresh meaning of number terminology) and then one for calculus (looking ahead) and then I got this math encyclopedia that actually looks really good, and covers everything from integers and whole numbers to calculus. The "VNR Concise Encylopedia of Mathematics." I was thinking I ended up with that book as a bridge between elementary and more complicated math.

I have to take up to calculus at least and I have always bogged down when I have to sit through a class with everyone asking so many questions. I start daydreaming and then lose place. I might get the concept right away but then zone out with all the questions and while I'm thinking of number theory and why 0 doesn't work for fractions, they've moved on and lost me while I was waiting for the next step. SO, I thought, maybe I should just self-study for math.

By the way, I like having books in front of me, but MIT has a large collection of free online classes.

I wonder what comes after calculus? Here's the answer I found, from someone else that taught themself calculus:http://forums.philosophyforums.com/threads/life-after-calculus-17000.html.

I just found this song by Nicole Mullen called "I Can" (I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me). I thought about how my son says sometimes, "But I can't!" but he likes the story of the little train who could.

I think part of staying interested in math will be to a have a list of careers and applications for math. I am not going to be an engineer but there are other things I might want to do better, and there is a long list of ways math can stretch your mind.

I checked to see if the VNR is obsolete but it's not. The one I got was copyrighted in 1977 but online I checked and it has good reviews and covers principles and theory up to about 1980. Then I guess there is another one after that, but I think they did a nice job of organizing the material.

I also have to get a book about using a math calculator because when we were told, in high school, we could use one, I was one of few who didn't use one. I worked it out in my head instead, and how I even managed to do this I have no idea because I had so many gaps due to all of my daydreaming. I had my ultimate best daydreaming sessions in math class. Then I'd follow something for awhile and think it was interesting and then zone out again. It is amazing I even passed those classes at all. I went up to higher algebra and took geometry but decided not to take trig or calculus even though I could have. I just figured, "And THAT is good enough!" But I think back, and here I was working out these huge problems longhand and everyone else was next to me clicking away at their calculators. I didn't even do my work right. I got the answers right somehow, but how I approached the answer was not even the way we were being taught and I always got in trouble for this and was told "Show your work".

At any rate, it will be good to get into math again maybe.

I think math classes should be taught in smaller clusters in school. That way there are fewer people to stop for, who will ask a million questions. I don't know. I guess it is easier for me to focus if the ball keeps rolling instead of stop-start-stop. Other subjects, no problem, but with math, I need the ball to keep rolling.

Hmm. I was thinking my dream was sort of Marshall-like, and then I was going to play something from 8 mile and decided, nah, not right now. Something else. So "Bullets Over Broadway" came to mind and I typed in the soundtrack.

I decided to hear the song "Who" by the George Olsen band and then I seleted this one that looked like a window. Turned out, it looked like a vanity. On the inside it was a victrola. It was posted by "jazzbaby73" and then I just picked something out from the line up after this and found Eddie Cantor's "Makin' Whoopee". It sort of reminds me of this song I heard earlier, which I finally got to here, from Ray Stevens, and first it was this Irish song about a man who can't come to work because he's been hit with bricks. Well, he keeps trying to move the bricks but it backfires over and over and he's tired in the end and says, "Can't come to work". For some reason I thought of some young redhead kid laughing to that one. And then the next one I thought was funny, where this woman is waiting for the man and then he's partying and then in the end she ends up in the "long arms of the law" and it's so wrong in so many ways it's funny.

I had to listen to a veggie tales silly song and I haven't heard the Cheeseburger one so here it is:

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