Tuesday, July 12, 2011

La Passacaille & Matt Connors

I heard a piano (primarily) piece that I really liked, called "La Passacaille" and I think the pianist was Alexander Theroux but I can't find him anywhere as a pianist, only as a writer. But it was played beautifully. Before that, I liked Symphony III in D Major and then didn't catch the name of the composer but something about Klookert ? or something (probably conductor). My favorite part was this trill that started in the very beginning (of La Passacaille) and then I thought it sounded so much like a butterfly and then towards the end, sort of like a fly but like maybe something was struggling not to die but something was living well at the same time. I don't know--I'd have to hear it again. It brought me to teary ears. No falling tears, except maybe one, but I just liked it. It sounded so modern--like a "bug and insects song". It was more happy tears.

I also like the Coldplay song "Every Tear is a Waterfall." It was so nice when I heard it because it was one of the first times ever aired and I happened to turn on the radio when I had first arrived in Oregon again.

With the "La Passacaille," I kept wondering why I felt like crying right from the start. I looked at the spoon I was holding and thought, "Who did this belong to anyway?!" I mean, I hadn't been tearing up when I was holding "la prongs" (the fork), so who had been the original holder of the spoon? I turned it over and read (they were two of different kinds and brands--I have an eclectic mix right now): "Faberware. Made in Indonesia." Then I looked at the back of my fork: "Versaille. Made in Japan."

No, I'm sort of joking around here, but I really loved the song.

I was sitting there eating some concoction I assembled of a cabbage, carrot, brussel sprouts, potato, and basmati rice soup with "wasabi horseradish", red sweet chili sauce, dumpling sauce, and fresh lime squeezed into it, with a little butter.

Anyway, in general, no torture, but something was going on about that time, which I didn't appreciate and which caused my pen to burst and leak ink all over.

And then I was sitting there, writing on this Dallas Art Museum brochure, and reading about and studying the art that was featured on it. I kept studying it.

Mind you, this is after the shower-door-man had left, after installing a shower door. So I hadn't picked up the art brochure at that time (this all has a point).

I picked up the brochure and was reading it but also using it as scratch paper and wrote the names of some music titles on it (symphony 3 in D major) and then a box with "skill sets" and then another section for "desires". I was making a list of life skill sets I want to acquire and then in the other box it was to be my wishes or desires, not out of necessity but pleasure. All with academia in mind, not just hobbies in general.

So I had my lists going and then I kept staring at these photographs of paintings by Connor. And I stared at this one, and noticed the very tiny placings of yellow dots at almost 90% right angles and it looked random but wasn't and then I looked at this other one and kept staring and loved how these 2 drips were slightly askew and not perfectly linear, departing from the rest of the painting. I thought, "That was done intentionally" and read that yes, his paintings are made with intention.

Okay, so then I went back to the other house and my mother is there not looking happy. I said, "What's wrong?" and she said, "The shower door is crooked." She said, "It stands out" and I said, "Yeah, I noticed and Dad noticed right away." (I only noticed the upwards-vertical slant). Then she said, from the bathroom, "I don't mind it being crooked vertically so much but it's crooked across the threshhold."

(Was she still talking about the shower?)

I said, "What's the threshhold?" and she said, "Where you step in."

I said, "Oh."

Then I thought, and added, "Um, I don't think I'll be stepping into any crooked threshholds anytime soon, just so you know."

Then I was curious so I went over to the shower to look at what in the world a "threshhold" was and I saw what she was talking about. And the angle was exactly like the angle in the painting by the man featured on the Dallas Art Museum brochure.

I had said, "Why don't you just call him and have him do it over?"

She said, "You can't miss it. He knew what he was doing and did it intentionally. Maybe there was a reason he did it that way."

I recalled this sentiment as I stared at the threshhold. Yeah, it was crooked across the threshhold.

And it matched the art I had just been studying!

Hello interdisciplinary studies. (Comin' to GETCHa...FOXEE, LADEE...I see Garth all of a sudden with a fan blowing through his hair and jacking up his pants. My foxy lady is so sexy she hides inbetween the encyclopedias as a college catalog.)

I will have to find the names of those paintings. Hang on.

Okay, the one with the drips at angles is called "Primary, 2011." Oil, acrylic, and colored pencil on canvas. The one that sort of pairs well with the music of "La Passacaille" is "Small Resist, 2011, oil and acrylic on canvas." This is the one where I looked more closely at the tiny specks on the outside of the main part of the painting. That's not the small resist part, but I was just looking at the frame.

I looked at Fergus Feehily and this one with green and black specks around passive space in the shape of a pear makes me think of Fergie I guess, the name and pear shape combined (with her pear story that I had read she wrote recently).

Anyway. My headache is gone today. Last night it was still really bad and I decided to try 50 mgs of DHEA and 2 ibuprofen and all of a sudden, when the DHEA kicked in, I felt this weird kind of a focus zone on the front of my forehead but brain (so I thought "prefrontal cortex?") and it sort of seized it up (not technology) and my headache almost went away instantly. I don't know what in the world happened. Vasoconstriction or the opposite, but it worked and for the first time in 3 days, I slept well.

And I am so thankful for some things today. I won't say what, but thank you. When I got this one piece of news today I really just thanked God. I sensed some really good energy this morning, like people praying, and then again this afternoon. The first time, I had just picked up my Dad's bible study book, and read something and it just came over me and then the second time, I was standing and preparing food and all of a sudden, I felt it and I stopped to pray along. It was about 2 or 2:30 or so. I felt it even more when I prayed with it, almost heady sort of, like I might fall it felt very strong. Earlier, this very calming feeling while I was online looking some things up and after reading some section from this one book. And then later this afternoon it almost felt like it might take me off of my feet, it was very fast. And it was spiritual, not technology and not physical. I knew it was some kind of prayer or something good somewhere. Then, of course, the enemy always wants to rob that kind of joy or peace and after this, something else happened (1/2 hour later) that wasn't good and my pen burst.

The section I read, when I picked it up, was "Tell Your Father", from a section called tell your father (heavenly father). And my eyes fell on a proverb about how God can change a king's heart like changing the direction and way of a river. And I thought about this, because it usually seems nothing changes and it's really unlikely. But I thought about how sometimes God can really directly start working on one heart, whoever it is, king or not, and that it is sometimes only God's doing that a heart changes, or feels a certain way, or works in a way. I had just prayed something similiar the night before so I focused on this. And I visualized hands shaping the course of a river and just did nothing but agree with it. I just sat there, and agreed. And it came over me. This feeling of people praying. And then I asked my Dad, "Is this the section for today?" and he said it was probably for tomorrow, not the one he'd read today. And then I went to the beginning and read about how a king was hidden and how God promised David's line would never be unbroken. First it was about the line being unbroken and then the story about how this woman Athalia or something like that, was so enraged her family was killed or some members were that she ordered all the royalty killed but someone hid a boy, the only survivor of his family and they kept him in secrecy.

And then the new testament section was about how all are part of the body of christ.

The commentary at the beginning was about persecution and how 10 great nations were against 1 small poor nation, and how this outnumbered one survived, and then when a woman was persecuted, it said, if it's true by foxe's book of martyrs, she only turned and said, "I'll tell my father about it" as a response.

I hadn't picked up this book before until today and it's just a compilation of scripture but it was good to read.

Last night I watched "State of Play" and really enjoyed it. I also watched, previously, "When The World Stood Still." Both were from 2009. It's very strange to realize how out-of-touch I was. I never saw either movie until now. I guess I could comment on them, but maybe later. This is all for now.

Going back to DHEA, I looked up prefrontal cortex this morning and I was right, it's the front part of the brain. I was wondering why it was this center part I felt instead of a side of my head. It was the part that was right in the front and middle. I might try DHEA next time I have a similiar headache (or let's hope it doesn't happen) and see if I can get it to seize up (not seizure, of course, but clamp down on the migraine). It was kind of interesting.

Oh, and I took a career personality matching test out of curiosity, for career thinking. And instead of being an INFP or ENFP (idealist) this time I came out more (rationalist)--probably more INTP or ENTP. My I's and E's always flucuate and my F and T's flucuate but I don't think my P's or N's have ever changed. I looked at the rationalists and said out loud, last night:

"Great. I went from being a rare personality type to an even rarer one. The Idealists are only 10-20% of the population and the Rationalists are more like 7%. I went from being in the company of Princess Diana and Oprah to...(i started to laugh) Einstein and Madame Curie." Then I clicked on INTP and it said, "INTPs are the rarest types, comprising 1% of the population." But I don't know which rationalist I was, probably an E not an I, because it was just a sample and wouldn't give me all the details.


I hope not. It's lonely out here.

Since I'm talking about Einstein, I made a couple mistakes to my last posts (wrong name and a wrong category) but I'll fix it tomorrow (I'm such a P). Um, yeah, so what are you? This is feeling like a monologue.

I have a long list for my aquisition of skill sets.

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