Dreams and Smell of Freedom

I had two sets of dreams but I'm not sharing details. They went on forever though, and one was a huge international parties here and parties there (with tons of different kinds of cakes and desserts and people in dress up party clothes, and a wedding, and you-name-it...one cake was a jello cake with cream cheese in it?! all kinds of things, and I was trying the desserts) dream and then the next one was about some small place in a wheatfield where women were moving out and at the end they said Obama was getting a divorce. Then they said he's already involved with someone. (I woke up and thought, "God is a Republican"? j/k). That was just my DREAM though, not hearsay or other info.

Yesterday I was closing windows in the house and found a brown and black moth with orange somewhere on it (eyes or head?) and it was struggling in the windowsill. It was barely moving at all, and kept falling over on itself and just looked like it was about to die. I said to my mom, "There's a moth here and it's about to die." And then I left it alone and didn't close the window on it and went back to look and it was still falling over and super slow. Finally, I picked it up by lightly pinching its wings together and put it in the palm of my hand to take outside.

When I went outside on the porch I held my hand out and looked and it fell over again, and slowly tried to get up. Then all of a sudden, it was toppled over in the palm of my hand and then it fluttered its wings a few times and then zoomed off. It was like it came back to life.

I went back inside and said, "Mom! that moth that was barely moving and falling over...I took it outside and it fluttered its wings and then flew off, like it took a couple of deep breaths and was fine!"

My mom said, "It smelled freedom."

It had gone from looking knocked over, zapped of strength, and its legs crossing crookedly over its own legs and then toppling over, while moving at a snails pace, to this rejuvenation, right in the palm of my hand. It was less than a few minutes. And then I thought it was just perking up or getting its wind back and instead it was like a full recovery and flew away.

So weird.

That was yesterday. And then today I picked up Brothers Karamazov and started reading it again. I hadn't read much and then set it aside, taking care of other things here. But I picked it up and the part where I'd left off is where Alyosha is introduced as happy to help Fr. Zossima, and then how he really believed this story about a coffin flying out of a window and assisted as Zossima was healing all these people, and it says, whether by natural course or miracle, people were healed. I read to the part where the brothers are all meeting together and have gone to the monastery to meet Zossima.

The moth thing made me think, yesterday and today, of the song:

Pocketfull of Sunshine

and how she has all these butterflies coming from her hand, and the little boy that reminds me of my son.