Wenatchee: Acceptance

Being an activist is tough. And claiming the title "activist" is like claiming the title "writer". Who says you are a writer? or an activist? and howso? Without a college degree these days, it is difficult to call oneself a "journalist" even if one does the same thing a degreed journalist does. Yet anyone can be an activist, even if it is not a full-time profession, and one who writes constantly can reasonably call themself "a writer" even if they are not riding the literary circuit.

I did not aspire to be an activist--it was never a dream of mine. I am not fulfilling some kind of wish, I am finally recognizing this is what I have been for some time, and that my activities have been an affirmation of certain beliefs. In a way, I've been more of a "reactivist" as I was thrust into situations that I did not choose for myself and was forced to respond. But instead of reacting, at some point, I began stepping out beyond reaction, with courage, to speak up about things that did not necessarily affect me.

Personal experiences have driven me. But I'm ready to take the wheel, and take full responsibility and control of my contributions, and to put some effort into planning and execution. I believe it's time to step it up--to seek out things to write about rather than simply responding. To write on behalf of others as well, even though I'm going through my own stuff. I don't have much time, and right now, most of that time must be devoted to my son and our personal circumstances. However, I am in the planning phase and thinking about organizing my non-profit.

What is a little strange, is that I've chosen my location. I have had a measure of disdain for Wenatchee since I arrived. People who know me seriously questioned how I would like such a place, find friends, a soulmate, or even fit in. I did as well. Then I had my son, and figured it would only be a matter of time until we moved closer to a city again. But then people tried to push us out, by force. Which, of course, made me want to stay. Then I stayed out of convenience and because of family. Always, in the back of my mind, was the knowledge that this place is perfect for an activist. It's not for me, for sure. It's not my style really, either. I don't click with most of the people who love it here. I don't click with the favored forms of recreation by locals. I feel a little bit like the woman in that novel: "Chocolate". Not that I've got a candy shop to tempt the locals and disturb the peace, but I think I have something important to add. I have said, to sooo many people, this TOWN could host a dozen sleeper agents and still be short-handed.

What I realized tonight, is that you can't run from a calling. At this point, I can't stand this town. I never thought I'd be here THIS long to begin with. But I am unfettered, free of social coercion and persuasions, and I'm not on a certain "side" here. I have no social, financial, legal, moral, or employee obligation to anyone here really, and the more certain ties are cut, the more free I am. Free to speak up, speak out, and tell the truth.

This town has a lot of problems that are unique. And yet it's a manageable size. I think I can take "the town" on. By that, I mean, get into the psyche of the town, profile it, and write about the particular problems, including weaknesses and strengths. Wenatchee and East Wenatchee need to be "site-mapped". It would even be interesting to do the family tree (of sorts) for Wenatchee. I can write about specific and general problems and follow the news closely, whether it's reported by The Wenatchee World or not. And, I'm not competition to the W. World. I'd like to think I can make alternative contributions. If I focus on one spot, I could then branch out later.

What I find fascinating, are questions such as: "How could the Wenatchee Sex Ring scandals even happen to begin with?" "Why is Wenatchee the Prozac Nation and who brought attention to this?" "How easy is it to be blacklisted in Wenatchee (use nurse as example)", "Why did the ACLU win a lawsuit against Chelan County's justic system?" etc.

There is a certain philosophy and mentality of the town that contributes to these things. They are really not isolated instances.

I realized tonight, after spending a recent afternoon in a "....ahhhhhhh!" bigger City, that Wenatchee is where I am supposed to be. The weirdest thing is that I was born here. Of all places.

My goals are to analyze, profile, and create an informative sample of Wenatchee. I may decide to take it to another blog (create a new blog) that is Wenatchee-specific. For now, I'll keep it here. I've met some good people here. And I've always been a good neighbor. Hopefully through time, there will be a mutual appreciation and respect for what each has to offer. I plan to criticize at times, and perhaps satirize, but my goal is to keep an open mind. The goal is to expose certain undercurrents that run through the town which shape it and make it susceptible to problems, with the hope that things can change for the better. It gets worse before it gets better. Some people clean a little bit at a time, as they go along, and I'm not saying I'm "cleaning" but if I'm exposing things or uncovering things, I tend to do it by pulling everything out of the closet and from under the bed and putting into a big pile, to sort through and then organize. I like big projects better than small ones.

I had the strangest thought tonight, about being unfettered. I've been in a good mood all day, and opened up some mail and read a letter from Wenatchee Valley Medical Center. It was mailed on October 26, 2007, but I just opened it. I was surprised to find myself in a good mood still. Almost relieved. I had felt I couldn't say certain things because I was dependant upon them in a certain way. I had stepped out only privately and tenuously. Yet, having that removed, I realized this was a very good thing.

Everyone knows about the "disgruntled" employee, who just wants to wreck havoc, hurt by rejection. Many whistleblowers, are first disgruntled employees. They talk because they're mad and want to "get back." Some whistleblowers become ex-employees AFTER whistleblowing because of disgruntled employers. It's sometimes difficult to tell who is disgruntled by whom. And then even a disgruntled employee may have a significant story to tell or information to share. Ex-employees typically talk more because they are not afraid of losing their jobs or other forms of benefits. Whatever the relationship, sometimes ties must be severed before one or both sides is able to speak freely and directly. Retaliation is another element to severance, at times. Regardless, when one door closes, another opens.

I needed that letter and that door. I was begging for it almost...but couldn't vocalize my request. Stiffled, by the belief I had to keep the door open for benefits. It was what I needed to realize Wenatchee really is for me. The whole schmear. Someone is listening and someone needs the information that I can provide. I am willing and able to talk and I hope my contributions make Wenatchee a better place to live--more prosperous, yet fair, and easier for newcomers to navigate.