Adderall

Since I'm on the drug topic...I'll write about my experience with Adderall. But I have to make it short, because I took an Adderall today and it turns me into a zombie. I asked my doctor if I could try it a month ago; I thought it might help with fatigue. I read that sometimes stimulants are prescribed to counter the drowsy effects of narcotics, and it made sense to me so I asked. When I asked, though, I threw in, "Oh, someone once told me they thought I might be ADD" because I thought it would help me to convince the doctor to let me try it. I didn't lie, someone DID say this, but I know I'm not ADD. I am able to focus for longer periods of time than most; my powers of concentration are not lacking.



So, what do I think about it? I think it's terrible. At least for me. Without fail, every single day I took it, I struggled to write or didn't write at all. I had other things going on as well, but even on evenings when I would normally write, I couldn't. Right now, I just want to go to bed. List of side effects:



headaches (many tension, some that went into migraine),

extreme fatigue after a brief "alert" phase,

mood swings,

tears (sudden, and without reason)



I had short-acting 10 mg. tablets. One a day. The first day I took one in the morning, and I got a ton of things done that day and was focused and energized. The next morning, or that evening, I felt sad. I haven't been sad forever. I mean, there is a difference between sadness for a reason, or upset for a reason, and this "feeling" of sadness, for no reason, striking without warning and lasting only a half hour. Very weird.



I actually called the pharmacist and asked him if Adderall causes depression. He said no, but I read online that it CAN when people stop taking it. I had been very stable feeling for over a year, having appropriate emotions for circumstances-only, and the first time after I tried Adderall, I felt an unreasonable sadness. And I couldn't write. Which isn't normal for me. Even when I'm sad, I can write.



So then I took half a tablet in the morning and a half in the afternoon. That was better, but then at night I was still more fatigued than usual. If I took it closer to evenings, I could stay up late into the night, but for whatever reason, I couldn't WRITE. I would go online and surf the net, and didn't have the energy or inspiration to write anything.



Adderall helped me get the housework done once or twice, but it only helped me "focus" on mundane tasks, and robbed me of inspiration and my creativity. My arms feel like lead right now, and writing isn't a joy as usual. I had wanted to write tonight, and to finish writing up about the awful Judge Harmon and how she was flat-out prejudiced and didn't even attempt to hide it; she insulted my SON verbally, and attacked me as well--it was really quite unbelievable...So I have plenty to say about that, and am motivated to put it down on the blog, but I can't do it tonight because I tried, again, the Adderall, and want to save that post for tomorrow, when I have some spark.



I have some concern too, that Adderall hinders growth. I'm done growing, yes I know, but that sounds like a pituitary gland effect--something that affects horomones and the brain. I'm very careful with what I do with my brain as I've only got one and I happen to like the one God gave me.



I can see where Adderall could be addictive--when I take it, I sometimes have a short burst of energy or feeling of well-being, like I've had a great cup of coffee. But it doesn't work that way.



I have been more spontaneously teary than I was in the first months of horomone-crazy pregnancy. I cry about sad things, nothings, and sentimental/mushy things. Not long crying spells, a bunch of very, very, short 2 minute interludes. And it never happens when I'm still ON the Adderall, or within the first few hours after taking it. So I know it's the Adderall.



The times I quit, I felt my energy come back. I'm more sluggish overall, but it's a steady sluggish and I can still write, and feel inspired. With Adderall, it's a stop-and-start fatigue thing, mini-bursts of tears, and inability to write.



But I don't feel "depressed" at all, in general. It's the Adderall and I can't wait to get back to normal. I'm turning into a ball of mush the longer I take it.



I cannot imagine what it's like for someone to take it a LONG time and then quit. THAT must be hell.



Oh, and the headaches. I've had to go through more NARCOTICS just to keep them at bay. I've had a lot more headaches--some minor and some bad. The narcotics, taken daily have actually helped to reduce the mind-blowing severity of my migraine/clusters, but I still need a whopping something-extra to abort them or not feel disabled by them. But the chronic narcotics have helped a lot of things. I seriously feel they are a blessing. I feel the closest to the way I was before--the closest thing to normal--with just the narcotics (and added over-the-counter stuff too).



When I took the Adderall, I noticed I drank less coffee. So, they do help with fatigue in a way. Yet it's sort of a false security... I had to compensate in other ways with the side effects.



Well, goodbye Adderall...you're getting the flush from me.



I'm glad I got to try them.



More tomorrow on resident witch Harmon.

...I first wrote this a week ago and now I'm adding to it...I decided I may still try it. There were a couple of days I really did get more done, when taking it, but there was a catch 22 on the fatigue. On Adderall, I didn't need to nap with my son as much and could stay up later at night, but was tired in the morning until I took it again. When I'm NOT on it, as I've not been for 2 days, I'm tired at night, need coffee during the day, and yet have more energy in the morning after I've slept. Sometimes it seems slightly beneficial at the 5 mg. dose but it's really hard to tell. Because I don't know for sure, I asked for a refill, but I'm in the middle of court matters and other things, and feel it was probably unwise to try something new during this time as I don't know what the side effects will be and they affected me. Any change or disruption to regular medications is potentially a set-back. I've been off of the Adderal for 2-3 days and I bought Red Bull. That stuff used to work, but it didn't as much.

All my side effects, I read, were typical with Adderal. I think the very bad tension headaches were some of the worst. I had them all the time. If Adderall is so great and helps people to focus, and Ivy League students use it or abuse it to give them an advantage, why isn't it available like coffee is? The warning label says it will cause birth deformations if you're pregnant, and in kids, it can inhibit growth. If it keeps kids from growing, that is something that's affecting the brain--maybe pituitary gland? So if a stimulant actually gets hyperactive people to calm down and sometimes allows students to study into the night, why does it slow down a body's growth? Is this drug/medication actually sedating? or a kind of sedative? I know it's supposed to be a stimulant, but maybe it initially acts like a stimulant and yet is working on organs or the brain in a way that results in a kind of sedation and slowing of growth and brain activity.