I feel I could have gone to 30 days if I had had enough steam-distilled water and been hydrating more. I really noticed a difference in the water while fasting and I didn't have enough of the kind that the body really needs at that time. I am sure I will be doing this again.
The other thing is that I don't look very good skinny--my face is so angular, it really hollows out and isn't pretty and I had lines showing but I do think some of this would have gone away had I used more of the right water. More, and more of the right kind. I felt worse this morning than while fasting. At first, with apple juice diluted, my heart thanked me. My heart was where I felt this sudden revival from the juice, sort of washing over and like it maybe needed something like that. I mean my heart, the organ. My heart was maybe slightly stressed but I was being tortured by technology means during this fast too, so no wonder.
However the next morning, a knee injury sort of ached that was healing and didn't hurt at all while fasting, and of course this confounded "thrush" problem is going to return. It was starting to die off, but it will return now. I think if I got to a reasonable weight and stocked up with lots of right water and hydrated constantly, I might be able to get rid of it, but honestly, it's gone so long, I do think it's systemic and that I probably need an IV to permanently get rid of it. Not going to do that here though. I will probably try colloidal silver when I have a chance. It is only in 2 places on my body--chest (I've put up photos before to prove it) and around the groin. Never have the internal kind of infection, but just these spots which first occured while nursing my son. I'm slightly tired and decided to postpone my next youtube video until tomorrow, giving it a day of rest. I felt a sense of the Holy Spirit to start and then this sort of absence of anything but that's just basing on "feeling". When I did try to pray a little and focused more, I did feel more of it.
I think my thoughts were cleared in some ways, but I also swore and got upset a few times which I don't usually do on fasts. I feel I made a small point, but being threatened with hospitalization in America where they've already tortured and drugged me is something to avoid. I also realized I was losing steam on trying to be clear and concise with the video clips and I need my strength now for other things as well.
I felt much less energy with this 100% water fast. I also know at least one water source was not "okay" because it dragged me down and I got the droopy eye while drinking it, so that was a set-back. On my 30 day+ fast on oatmeal/granola bars and tea, I had incredible amounts of energy. I am still working on English Lit with hope to double major in adding science (Horticulture is something new I found and Biology not out of question) and I am planning to take Persian for a language. It's not a new idea, because when I went to PSU I strongly considered Persian and then decided to take French instead. I took about a year of French, starting in community college and then again at PSU. I think I'll self-study a little and then either test-out at 2 yr. level or continue taking classes into 4 yr. level at PSU (just language at PSU, not major). I like the Horticulture because it goes with my organic gardening and English I've always loved. Persian has always appealed to me for some reason, I don't know why exactly. I took 2 lessons online (last night) and thought, "This is doable." I learned the long and short vowels (there are 6) and they're not really vowels but "sounds" you use with the other letters. I started weeding the pumpkins and squash but it caused the base to be less stable in the dirt so I'm leaving some weeds to keep stablize the soil and keep them from uprooting. Deer kept getting in and eating my cabbage, pak choy, chard, broccoli and cauliflower and I have to put up a better fence. I think next year will be a great garden year.
Today is 9/4/2012. I haven't uploaded new videos to continue with the FBI and police topics due to the fact I quit my fast and it was harder on my body to quit than to fast even. So it's been a few days of recouping. Tomorrow or the next day I will upload the next video clip. Thanks for your patience.
I am being tortured this morning by U.S. technology to metal in my neck, to my ear, and to my teeth again. So basically they picked up torturing me to the implant in my tooth again, out of the blue, after quitting for a long time. It's 12:53 p.m. and it began while I was looking up college information and working on Persian language.
So, right after I called the healthfood store here in town, Eden Valley, which was at about 11 a.m. It didn't happen before then. I talked to Jolyeen to confirm an order and ask her to check the brand name because I was told a different carrier was discontinued, and she said she'd call me back. I waited a couple of months to put in an order and then tried to prepay yesterday for it. I was then told there might be a "change" in price or they had to check on it. So I called again today bc I was told it's only in every 2 weeks for larger orders and then was told the 50 lb order is discontinued and now there is a 25 lb available. So I tried to order but then no one is telling me the new cost or brand (?) and I want to prepay and get the order moving. After this, I was being tortured by military technology. This is the videoclip for today: September 5, 2012 (5 minutes total): http://youtu.be/J2RJ2fosE3I
Here is a clip I found after I posted my own clip, about Military Intelligence torture of a 16 year old boy to try to make his father talk. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14NbSG-HoUw&NR=1&feature=endscreen
In this clip, he talks about how a son of a father was covered in mud and put in the back of a truck freezing cold and driven around and tortured and then he was told he could see his son and instead of being reunited, they forced the father to see his son in this tortured condition. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7COhOA7SqE&feature=endscreen&NR=1
This is exactly what the U.S. has done to me and my son. And they've tortured both me and my son to clearly try to get to someone else as well, over something my son and I know nothing about and possibly, neither do others. Additionally, it's had nothing to do with "national security"--I've been tortured with use of military technology to keep me out of lawsuits that protected my reputation, which is nothing but anti-competition. This country tortures my son and then those in charge laugh and watch me try in vain to do something about it. All they care about is destruction.
************************
Also, don't believe any of the "stats" surrounding me. I have someone or a group rather, screwing around with statistical results about how many people view my blog, which posts, and youtube clips. It's not accurate.
For whatever reason, some group is trying to make it look like no one is watching, reading, or interested, and I guess the reason for this is to use peer pressure to form opinions of others. I even have my scale for blogger going to these extremely wide margins and little patterns showing up that have nothing to do with the actual number of persons viewing. For example, I could write about the Queen of England and all of a sudden my viewer stats scale is in the shape of a crown, and it isn't accurate and has nothing to do with people literally rushing to read posts and then backing off to create a drop for "design" purposes, and then rushing to read more to create a spike, just to get a "crown" design. I wrote about Edward Howard (who allegedly had his neck broken on stairs) and all of a sudden, the stats bar was in the shape of a staircase. Same thing with my youtube clips.
To look at them you'd think zero persons watch them when they're viewed by hundreds of people every time I upload a new one. You'd never know it though, because it states "0" or "1" person viewing. So this is the kind of manipulation that's occuring with even viewer statistics.
*****************
September 6, 2012. The U.S. has continued to use extreme levels of torture against me. At 6 p.m. my time, according to the clock in my house (which is off a little) and not the clock on my computer, they targeted me and tortured me from taking a nap. They woke me up by causing severe and sudden extreme pain to the metal in my neck and tooth filling and it was just as bad as what they did all Winter last year, every single day, which sent me to the ER. They also targeted my heart while I was walking today. Last night they did the same thing, while I was studying, and caused piercing pains of heat to my chest which caused exhaustion and made it impossible for me to study. This country is criminal.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNyJIV5Kwp8
http://youtu.be/UwXL4UKXkxk
****************
After being tortured at 6 p.m., I have been tortured again--to my teeth and metal in my teeth and neck. I could put my finger to my tooth with the military dentist filling and feel a vibrating there. Also, while fasting I noticed the metal effect there IS different. When I put my tongue against it, it had the same sort of feel to it as licking the end of a battery to see if it buzzed and was an active battery. I mean, like AA batteries--and lightly licking them to see if they are good or "live" or not. This is almost the same feel the metal in my teeth has. I'm being retaliated against by the Department of Justice and Department of Defense, for what I am exposing that the U.S. has done.
I uploaded video clips yesterday and talked about people in the federal govt who were involved in trying to collude against me in court. Then I got this email from a woman from college saying my financial aid was ready and something about contacting someone for operations.
After almost 1 month of not doing anything to my teeth or using torture to target my teeth, the U.S. is back to the same thing. I am going on another hunger strike and fast if this continues. The U.S. is trying to run me out of the country. They see financial aid is approved and rather than leave me alone to study, they are trying to force me to leave by increasing levels of torture. The only reason they would do this is to keep me out of finishing a degree and going to graduate school.
***
It is September 7, 2012, 11:30 a.m. and I'm being tortured to my sternum/under breastbone right now. The vibrating and suctioning effect. Last night I was woken up with excruciating pain to metal in my neck and tooth. It was almost all night and it was remotely controlled torture of me. I made a video clip while it occured but I might cut out my crying first, because all this country wants to do is degrade me.
I think someone didn't like my sounding stronger yesterday with my videoclip, so they wanted to knock me down by torture and degrading me.
I showed my mother the hole that the U.S. military-aerospace group drilled into one of my molars through repeatedly targeting my head and mouth with technology last Winter. I wrote about it and documented what they were doing in my blog. The FBI and military are attempting to derail my topic about police and FBI collusion and corruption.
First they tried to do this by sending over a mental health man to "evaluate" me for health regarding my fast, the day before they knew I was going to talk about the police (state) refusing to take rape claims against me and the FBI's misconduct. Then, after they did this, and harassed me with that occasion, they tortured me to extremes last night to intimidate me from making further posts. I have not made one yet today because I was busy helping family with some work that came up over here and this took all of my time. I will still make a post this evening and mark it for today/tonight. I talk tonight about being tortured last night and efforts to deter me from talking about police and FBI/military collusion and misconduct. Instead of picking up where I left off, at the part where I am meeting the FBI agent in the elevator, I preface first with who was involved in defaming me through The Willamette Week and give information that makes it clear the paper was not just privately defaming me. It was state-sponsored defamation and included efforts by Portland FBI and Portland PD. This occured before I ever met FBI agents Bujanda and Garza and the FBI was already involved in slandering me to cover for other crimes.
http://youtu.be/GTEt17KVqG0
http://youtu.be/0HQvC33WpKw
http://youtu.be/pWt45huL_zg
Since uploading these video clips I've had torture to one ear, inside the ear; torture currently to create a burning sensation under the sternum and along the lining of ribcage there where a metal stent is, and torture to metal in my neck and teeth--only where there is metal.
***************************
September 8, 2012. This photo of the man held captive is no different from my being tortured along with family and my son. http://www.foxnews.com/world/2012/09/08/haqqani-leader-says-captive-us-soldier-is-safe/.
The truth is, he's probably being treated better by the Pakistanis than we are by our own country, living in our own country. I also noticed how the U.S. shirt is on the man, with the creases to the right breastbone past the center buttons. When I lost weight from fasting, I could see different outlines like this on my own chest and against the sternum. It's not the same as before and there is definitely something inside of my chest.
What's going on? The U.S. Department of State and other officials see a video or photo of this Army man wearing a shirt that imitates the form of marks on MY body, and they freak out and want to call the group a "terrorist" organization? Why? Because they realize Haqqani knows what they've been up to and is sending them a message? Haqqani allowed a photo to be taken of a man, standing next to pine trees while I've made video clips next to pine or fir branches from my house, and while I'm tortured by this country. Not only that, Pakistan's Haqqani made their point even more obvious by using a shirt on their hostage that is creased and stands out in the same way some of the bones on my ribcage and chest by my sternum now stand out after they operated on me in Maryland and put another implant next to my heart to use for torture. So let's see...the Department of State is scared? Or they just don't like being reminded who the real criminals are? The real terrorists are working for the U.S. Department of State and government.
So they get this "message" from an outsider and all of a sudden, the first thing they want to do is discredit them and newly designate them as "terrorists". Why? Because now they can feel legitimate about trying to kill them off to keep them from further exposing their ugly crimes of torture against their own U.S. citizens.
How would Haqqani know anyway? unless they are sophisticated enough and blessed by God in the same way that others are, with "psychic" (not witchcraft, just extraordinary giftings by God) gifts of their own? Either they can see these things, or I am being monitored by videocams in my own house, even while naked, and someone good in the military is exposing what is being shared about invasion of my privacy and torture of my family. I haven't shown anyone my chest bones or ribcage, not even my parents. I noticed myself, standing without clothes in front of a mirror in my own bathroom with windows closed and doors shut, how different things were standing out on my chest and sternum now. Also, maybe they have seen some things they know are metal implants from my CTs that I haven't even described yet.
So Haqqani gives the U.S. a visual of their own medicine: Haqqani puts up a photo and invites Hillary Clinton to have a look. Look Hillary, who does this remind you of? Maybe someone named Cameo Garrett?
I'm not that important right? just like the lie that my parents are not important enough to be tortured and abused, and my son is not important enough to be kidnapped and tortured. Anyone who watches my video clips can see I'm not "paranoid schizophrenic" but isn't that the state-sponsored official "lie" the FBI and CIA/military have been spreading to the entire world while they commit gross acts of domestic terrorism against their own citizens? I have been as "sane" and normal mentally for the last 7 years as I am now. There has never been a change in my mental state or behavior or speech. Yet all of the lies and documentation from CPS and Washington state and officials has been the opposite. They took me, as sane as I am now, and put me into a psych ward and immediately assaulted me. All along, no one has ever thought I was nuts. They thought only that punishing me and torturing me would satisfy their own sick agendas.
The only thing that ever "changed" or sounded different was when I was so tortured beyond belief at such extreme levels and provoked to suffer seeing torture of my son, that I swore, or reacted, or said things that didn't sound typical. I don't defend my swearing or some of the things I've said, but I can say without any reluctance that I have been tortured to the highest and most extreme levels and that is in addition to watching the U.S. allow repeated rapes against me, holding me hostage by obstructing my travel; ruining my ability to work; slandering me; keeping me out of college; destroying my singing voice by poisoning and torture.
SO. Someone in the military and Department of State didn't "like" the hostage photo, because it was an "in-your-face" reminder of what kind of CRIMINALS THEY are. The terrorists are Clintons, and CIA and FBI officials and CPS and Judges who collude to allow torture in this country. All of a sudden, they want to "kill off" anyone who brings it up. This is exactly why they put hits out on so many Pakistanis and others. The biggest "threat" is not Russia, as Romney says, and as Obama criticized, but then Obama claimed it was "Al Quaeda". Wrong again. The biggest threat and the worst terrorists are working for the U.S. government. While a small section of people are wanting to distract attention away from this and get large military contracts to kill people off, they've allowed the U.S. officials who are terrorists, to run good U.S. people into the ground. The domestic state of this Union is horrific. There are more criminals running U.S. government and U.S. governmental institutions now than anytime in history.
http://www.boston.com/news/world/middle-east/2012/09/08/declares-haqqani-network-terrorist-body/eAUasRzz47RuExY6VCVBGO/story.html
Here, the hypocritical Patrick Ventrell speaks for the Department of State and says yeah, let's kill off Haqqani now. Okay, guess what? The U.S. "hostage" has been held since 2009. Patrick claims the reason they are doing this is, "It's just been too long." Really. How is 17 years of torture against me stacking up Patty? How long is "too long" for a U.S. citizen to be tortured in their own country and have their kid held hostage from them? Is it too long yet? How long Patrick? Is the "answer, my friend,..blowing in the wind?" So we're supposed to believe that out of nowhere, this new eager desire to name Haqqani (who worked with and was trained by CIA) as a terrorist group is all about "the U.S. hostage." No, it's not. The U.S. never cared a year ago or a few months ago did they? No, they only cared after they got a photo of the guy, with little "reminders" of what criminal activities The Department of State is GUILTY of, against ME and MY FAMILY HERE. They don't like it, and don't want to be exposed, so now they want an excuse to put hits on more "former friends". Hey everybody! Wanna get trained by the CIA?!!!??? OH COME ON! You'll LOVE IT.
According to this article, the decision to name Haqqani as a "terrorist" organization was made in one day, rushed, and outside of normal protocols. The decision was made on September 7, 2012, which was ? after they got a photo of the U.S. hostage that reminded them of me? Or was it out of a knee-jerk reaction to what I wrote on my blog September 6th or early 7th, about going after my Granny just because she had a bunch of "afghans" when I was a kid. I mean, seriously, the people who have committed crimes of torture are so liable to be killed and jailed over what they have done and continue to do, they are willing to kill off entire groups of people in other countries to prevent their own exposure.
I also looked at the back of my Dad's ears while he wasn't noticing, bc he was working on something and one of his ears is different in the back, at the crease, and it looks like a crease (his rt. ear) but it might be a scar from something put there.
How hypocritical, for the White House, Obama, Hillary Clinton, and anyone in higher end leadership, to call "Haqqani" a terrorist group when they are not even torturing this man. Look at what they are doing to me and my son and family here. The U.S. has been committing crimes of torture and terrorism that are 10x greater than anything this group has ever done. That photo is a statement of how their "hostage" looks exactly like me. I am a hostage in the U.S., of the U.S. government and so is the rest of my family. They torture us, blackmail and intimidate us, and kidnap our family members away from eachother, and this is our own country.
Nothing that any group in Pakistan has done has ever come close to the kind of terrorism that The White House has been allowing against my family for over a decade and most especially since 2005. There is nothing that can compare to U.S. government terrorism. Who, exactly, recommends the list for terrorist organizations? because I'm surprised that the Clintons and rest of the Department of State, CIA, and FBI are not on it.
Videoclips for September 8, 2012 (2 parts I think)
http://youtu.be/DI5CcstP8xk
http://youtu.be/_EpbRjXcdIk
Tonight in my video clip I talked about several planned assasination attempts against me from 2003-2004, which was after the assasination attempt by Mike Nichols in 1995.
I saw my mother's fingernails today and they are bright red on one half and opaque white on the other half, indicating she's being fried and having heart problems with it. This kind of half-half nail goes with heart problems and in the last few days, this country has been burning me as well, and targeting my heart, which has resulted in some swelling and edema of my legs.
Earlier today I read through the book by Edward Howard, former CIA, about how he first snuck back into the U.S. through Salt Lake City, Utah, which is where the U.S. military and govt had me implanted with microchips after their assasination attempt in the hijacking of my car failed to kill me. So basically, Edward Howard was telling FBI someone with red hair (aldrich) and another guy by the name "Robert" was the Russian spy. Then, the FBI was mad at him for escaping the country and he snuck back in and out to visit his wife, later. He went to Canada and from Canada he flew to Salt Lake City, Utah with a fake passport. Then he left through Salt Lake City, Utah, and back into Canada and went back to Russia. After Mike Nichols, the man with FBI and Canadian contacts, rolled my car (by the way, I found out what a "roll-up" is by CIA definitions) when he thought my seatbelt was off, I was taken out of Nevada to Salt Lake City, Utah, to be implanted with microchips and then tortured by remote access. Why Salt Lake? Oregon was closer and I told them I had been living in Portland, Oregon previously. But no, they chose Salt Lake City, Utah, and then gave that hospital millions of dollars for "remote telesurgery" contracts through NASA and DOD after they implanted me. They chose Salt Lake City, Utah to punish people the FBI thought were connected to CIA's "defector" Edward Howard. Whether I was related to Howard through the Howards in my family or whether the FBI thought (mistakenly or not) that "Robert" had something to do with my Grandpa Robert or Dad, they implanted me and tortured me in retaliation. I have every reason to believe the FBI has targeted me and made excuses for torturing me with this reason. Edward Howard was raised in Alburquerque, NM like my Dad and Grandpa and other Howards. After he was fired by CIA he went back to NM and worked in economics. At Sherwood High School in AP History, I brought up the question to teacher Mr. Yule, about gold and what is backing the U.S. dollar and is there a gold standard anymore. Mr. Yule looked spooked and then spent a whole day talking about it and little did I know, Edward Howard was in Russia working on research about gold bonds.
Then this country tried to give me a false flag. I read about it in the book today. A false flag is when the CIA tries to recruit someone by using people they set up to look as though they're from another country. That way, if their deal doesn't work as planned, they can blame it on "Colombia" or some other group and not worry about it tracking to the CIA. Also, Alvaro Pardo was from Colombia, which is where Edward Howard worked for the Peace Corp before he joined CIA. The CIA has always known my son and I were tortured and they did a hump and dump. They used me and made a bunch of promises through FBI, about my getting my son back and normal psych evals and everything. If I didn't marry their man, they dumped me. Which is what they did, but not before trying to ruin more of my life and implanting me for at least a 3rd time in Maryland with the operation I had for miscarriage, by using a stent to my heart/ribcage area. The CIA book approval people and all the correspondence from CIA to Howard about his book, came from CIA in Bethesda, Maryland.
If my Grandpa Garrett died in 2002, saying he didn't want a "flag" for his burial (full honors) when this country wouldn't give his kids a flag, he's hinting at the way this country has treated his children, as non-citizens. He is alluding to the denial of civil rights to his own kids and to their abuse and torture by the U.S. government in violation of all laws surrounding citizenship and guarantees. This country has done the same thing to me and my son. They used me like govt. property, tried to kill me and allowed others to repeatedly rape and torture me, and they then kidnapped my son Oliver from me, after torturing him to my face.
To mock my Grandpa, the CIA tried to give me a false flag. They quit torturing me only on the condition that I was with Alvaro. "We'll treat you like a citizen if you marry a foreigner." False flag.
***********************************
September 9 2012.
I am being tortured and have been tortured all day. It's been directed to my left ear, to metal in my tooth filling, and under my jaw. It wasn't really being done last night but I woke up because of it when they started doing this. It's not just my teeth, but my one ear. And now, since I wrote this, they started targeting my heart in the area under my sternum. It is now 3:12 p.m.
I made a video clip but I'm going to redo one tomorrow on the topic. The one I made was maybe too long and I'd like to have it more to the point, or I might upload what I have for tomorrow.
I've decided to upload the clips from Sept. 9, 2012.
http://youtu.be/Yf30CUmI0sw
http://youtu.be/yuZ3s2BZzeI
http://youtu.be/oME8m4uXMZo
**********************************************
September 10, 2012.
There are 4 parts of video clips totaling about 50 minutes for today. I mention my alcohol tolerance levels and then the meeting with FBI agents. I also briefly mention Mike Tanzer and the Heintz's. Also, I considered for the first time, how I was having a migraine triggered by military while I was out with the 2 FBI agents. I haven't thought about this before. Why exactly was someone/group triggering a migraine when I was out with FBI? And also, I had them triggered when I was out with Mike Tanzer first. Every time I was with Mike, almost, a migraine was triggered, and then this happened with the FBI. It didn't happen with other guys I went out with or dated, so why was military triggering migraine in me with Tanzer and Bujanda/Garza? THEN, the FBI in D.C. sent out a military man to interview me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YdcW28nJ9us
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1JKSPphpgd4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7512DilGU4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6OHSkXL1xo
So why would a group want me to have severe migraine pain while I was with Mike Tanzer? The point? and then, with Garza and Bujanda later? I didn't have migraine triggered when I met Bujanda privately, initially, but when I went out with him and Garza, I was targeted.
So why. Any guesses? Anyone? The military or medical community needed one of them to witness my migraines? someone wanted me to suffer in their presence? someone wanted to try to set me up? Set me up...hmmm...what for? Okay, and then of all the people FBI Headquarters sends over, one of them is from D.C. and is a career-military man who specializes in top secret "extraordinary rendition" work? Let's see, Laura Laughlin/Julie Thornton accused me of using "prescription drugs" when I had to take some for my migraine. So what horrible things had FBI employees already done that they needed to find a cover to discredit me over? Gang rape?
************************
September 11, 2012.
Telegenics: I Can't Wait: Nu Shooz:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=v_Yx0X-eHn8
Your bones got a little machine (Pixies/recorded 1987):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TX2_wZc-MU4&feature=autoplay&list=PL77E55F1188451488&playnext=1
Touch Me--I'm so beautiful (Indigo Girls/):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OsoYyybyzFc&playnext=1&list=PLAF1C2ADE7AA93BD7&feature=results_video
Hey (Mary, ain't you tired of this?) Pixies/1987
this is the sound that a mother makes when her baby breaks
I'll make a video clip for today a little later. I randomly combined some ingredients for lunch and found a decent spicy mixture. I was making frying tofu and added plain mustard, then anise seeds, with brown rice, and after it was through cooking, I added a little more mustard, a touch of black molasses, and then my habanero cider salsa and it was actually really good. I thought, "this is really strange that I'm adding anise seeds to mustard for tofu" and then it was still missing something but I brought it together with a little molasses and it still needed something and once I added the habanero salsa, it was perfect. I don't know what I would call it exactly, but it wasn't bad at all. Then I looked online to see if others combined these things and I found a few similiar ideas.
My video clips of my life being tortured in the U.S. for today:
http://youtu.be/Ij6bEnxPxcY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RtAIixNGvg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7j_FDZVfHs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MC8RDxp0z3I
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0rptcw_GGw
************************
I took video clips for September 12, 2012 and for the 11th but didn't upload the one for the 11th until yesterday and I have to post it above. The one for the 12th (yesterday) I uploaded today but it got switched around on me so I had to reload parts of it. So if someone watched Part 4 and 5 for the 12th, there was a part missing and I just uploaded it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xn_QOH6sFqU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZrM8NHniNAs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uqk0Dd0PTvI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WfkorU-ZL0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2MvnsXDiFg
Also, I see a clip from the 11th was deleted (not by me) so I have to upload it again.
I took new videoclips this morning, September 13, 2012, for today (the 13th) and I uploaded one of them and it disappeared so I have to do it again. I think it disappeared, or I didn't upload correctly for that one. These will all be posted tonight.
Thanks!
There are 6 clips from September 11th and the first one was deleted after it was uploaded correctly. Youtube deleted it, because I did not and it was there last night. I will have to reload it. Youtube is not allowing me to view the other videoclips from that day, as it's saying they are "unavailable" but I uploaded them publicly so if you get this msg, it should resolve eventually. They double-loaded one of the clips and then deleted the first one that was there, so I was trying to redo it and it's having "problems".
There are 5 clips total for September 12th.
**************************************************
This morning I made my video clips for the 13th.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_XaLj5tcQzY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZoAZ7NAo4LQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzioBvt9b9o
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6FqduFLYNI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CYWViVUQNwE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTvDFV7Ta-g
****************************************
It is now Sept. 14th and I need to get some sleep. I uploaded the clips from yesterday and have one to redo for the 11th. Here are the video clips for today, the 14th:
http://youtu.be/1_SWaNdha6c
http://youtu.be/4vY0qcbYxMg
http://youtu.be/dtLCxkz-AAs
http://youtu.be/1H3rdCj065c
I remembered this morning that it was the Coombs on one side of us in M.L. and then it was Peggy and Herm Danielson. I just looked him up and didn't know he died ? That seems sad. I didn't know they were Swedish. I always heard their drum-set going. Lots of drums from the house and he was into music too. I always picked their flowers or ours and left some on their doorstep for May Day, and then ran off before anyone could see me. I don't know, I heard you give people flowers on May Day and I was too shy to do it openly so I left them surprise presents every May Day pretty much. I was too little to think how picking their flowers from their garden might not have been the best idea.
I am wondering about my being raped. I think it had to have started or happened when I was an infant. Why are all the Wenatchee doctors ignoring me and giving me the silent treatment on who Dr. Bowsen was? If it's not a big deal. I mean, did he do something horrible? Is that why I didn't respond and was catatonic for the first 3 months of my life? I was shocked and traumatized as a newborn? I sort of barely remember something else that might suggest someone else was involved when I was a toddler but I sort of think some weird MKULtra traumatic thing was done. Maybe as part of sick military intel/CIA MKUltra stuff, or maybe to punish my parents again. Murder their firstborn and then rape me. It's not like I haven't seen a pattern of how they tried to traumatize me by forcing me to witness the abuse and torture of my son Oliver, and smirking over how I was powerless to do anything about it. Wenatchee is an extremely sick place. I've been told things "changed" but I don't know if it was very decent at all to have allowed all these things to happen to kids. Why else would I, as an infant, be so traumatized I was not even responding or having normal activity as a baby, unless something horrific was done to me? I mean, they thought or suggested I was "retarded"? it became obvious I was not retarded and very smart, so what would cause this except for some horrible thing. If nothing happened, why is no one wanting to tell me anything about this doctor? and then my parents moved and didn't even have my brother there. They moved to Moses Lake. I spent my first year in a town outside of Wenatchee called "Monitor", next to the Wenatchee River. Then at age 4 I remember knowing about things most kids shouldn't know about but I don't remember any abuse by an adult as a kid. I remember, because I was telling this boy "J.R." who we babysat with his sister "Summer", about how to do something that was impossible for a little boy to do, and I was only 4 yrs old (I am pretty sure) when I was telling him this. I think they were being babysat by my Mom before I even started kindergarten. My very earliest memory is of asking "Jesus into my heart" (becoming a christian) at age 4. I heard about it in church and prayed in my room in private and then told my parents. It was a big announcement so I remember. I don't really remember anything past age 3. I also remember having my ears pierced when I turned 4 years old. My memory goes back to age 3 and that's it. Any rape had to have been when I was a toddler or infant. I am positive it had nothing to do with a random situation and that it had everything to do with state-sponsored crimes. I am 100% positive. Everything this country has done to me and allowed, falls into the MKUltra category. They did this to my parents, to me, and then to my son. They stole him from me because they wanted him before 3 yrs of age so they could traumatize and disassociate him for their disgusting govt. use.
None of my memories are "recovered" memories. I haven't had any new memories come up from hypnosis, or drugs, or counseling. I also haven't suddenly "remembered" anything except for recently I wasn't sure why I thought I could almost remember some kind of thing going into my ear as a kid and being told to hold still. To me though, maybe I picked up on some other kid intuitively or something.
The memories I've had, I've always had, ever since I was about 3-4 years old or so. I looked it up and yes, the CIA raped kids for MKULtra. And no, the program never ended in 1975. If you look at the things they did: LSD experiments, rape, hypnosis, and electroshock...the electroshock of the 50s and 60s is the U.S. NASA tele-torture of the 90s, and the gamma and x-rays, the MRI and laser, the sonar, any form of energy-directed weapon is used now to "shock" and torture people. It's not just used for research either--it's used for hate crime and anti-competition.
Based on my response (or lack thereof) after I was born, something happened to me at birth. No one has ever even said the doctor's name my entire life. I heard about my brother's doctor, but never the one who delivered me. I ended up with severe jaundice for over a week, under bilirubin lights and no one allowed to hold me.
My son had jaundice after his head was pushed in forcefully for over an hour. Why did I have jaundice? Jaundice is caused by internal bleeding. The newborn can't process it all so the bilirubin levels build, creating the yellow color of skin. So where was my internal bleeding? Then, I wasn't responding emotionally for 3 months. That is clearly a sign of trauma.
Not only that, but no, I don't remember any sex abuse, because the U.S. had it done before I was 3 years old, knowing they could count on my memories to be washed out before age 3. What they did not count on, was the fact that even if I could not remember, at age 8, what happened when I was an infant or toddler, I remembered at age 8, what I had stored and still could retrieve at age 4, which included learned behaviors and memories prior to age 3. Gotcha.
I have always remembered telling "J.R." how to do something when I was about 4 years old. There is no possible way for me to know, as a 4 year old, about those kinds of things unless someone who was a man and was older than me, had done something to me. Most likely, the federal "gang-bang" first occured before I was 3 years old. I told "J.R." where to put his private part when I was 4, and then told him no he was doing it wrong because it was "soft". So when did a man with something "hard" do this to me so that I knew enough, by age 4, about where it went. No 4 year old knows this naturally.
I was raped. Just like the OBGYN said.
The U.S. has state-sponsored rape of me by federal employees since I was born.
After I was 3, they quit, because they knew (as sicko professionals who are paid U.S. government salaries) that children's memories recall events after age 3. So they quit. Then all that time, I was celibate and a virgin, and was waiting until I was married. I was a virgin at age 24. I never thought I was sexually abused but I always remembered this time with J.R. and how it didn't make sense that I would know about those things. I always remembered and I never forgot.
So then this disgusting country allowed a Jew to rape me and then they continued to bring in their federal assholes to keep date-raping me. The U.S. tipped Josh Gatov off to leave the country.
Why should the U.S. hold anyone accountable for raping me when they have been "in on it" since I was a baby?
This country is going to pay a very heavy and dear price if they do not return my son to me and compensate all of us for the torture. God damn all of you to hell.
On this same topic, I also had an unconscious slip when I showed up at my parent's house after being away so long. I think my Dad was possibly hoping to trigger something for me, to help me figure things out. At the time, I was spooked, and shocked, but I think it was a clue to have me recall things from my childhood. I do not believe my Dad would sexually assault me at all, but I believe the U.S. and UK, through their MKUltra program, forced them and controlled them to do certain things. There is no reason for my Dad to want to trigger something for me, to expose himself...it would be to help me recall and figure things out.
When I told this little boy to put his penis into my vagina, when I was 4 years old, it was not a matter of little kids at that age playing doctor. My parents had no porn--we didn't even watch R-rated movies. I saw porn one time my entire life at my parents house and it was in my brother's room one time when he was a teenager. Sort of natural--just a magazine. I never saw anything else, ever. It wasn't like, "Show me yours and I'll show you mine". I was telling him what to do, clearly proving this had been done to me before. Then I told him, when he tried, no, not like that. I told him not like that, telling him it had to be hard. There is no possible way I would know this, unless someone used something hard, to sexually assault me, whether it was this private part or something used to imitate or suggest such a thing.
When my Dad had the hose out one day and was watering something, he made a pattern in the driveway. It looked like a long thing, with two small blobs on the side (sort of like a penis with balls on either side). I was going up to him to ask him or tell him about something and I said something like, "I can't, it's too soft." It was more exact than that. I said something like "He's too soft" or "I can't do it because he's still soft." and it was this unbelievable freudian slip from my unconscious. I said it like I was in a sudden trance on autopilot, like I was about 2 or 3 years old, saying something I used to say about not being able to do something with a man's private parts. What came out of my mouth had nothing to do with what I went outside to say to my Dad or talk about. I didn't plan to say it or think about it first. It was a sudden spontaneous comment almost like something out of a hypnotic state, where I said it and then heard myself say this and thought, "Who just said that? oh my gosh. It was me. I said this and it was like someone else inside of me was saying it, overriding my adult personality in that brief moment." It's called CIA fucking disassociation from traumatic rape.
My Dad had a sharp intake of breath, shocked when I said this. Then I snapped out of it, and realized I had just said something that had nothing to do with my topic and it was a subconscious prompt. I realized it was about sexual abuse. Right after my Dad startled and heard me, I sort of snapped out of it and realized what he realized at the same time...I had just reverted to something I used to say when I was a toddler.
So, 1. I had a subconscious response regarding sexual abuse, for the first time in 2011, last summer. I realized it was coming from my childhood and deep subconscious.
2. I have always remembered trying to get this boy to do something and knowing too much about how it was supposed to work, to have been unmolested. I never forgot it and only pondered it later in life as to why and how I knew about these things.
3. My first OBGYN told me I had evidence and scarring of violent rape from childhood or infancy.
All of these things confirm what the truth is. It also helps to confirm this was only done before age 3, which is when MKUltra and CIA/military programs rape and use children in this way. They have done the same thing to my son and probably to my mother and father.
So who was it that raped me and blackmailed my parents with this as they later promoted other kids and repressed me in this country? Probably, it was more than one federal employee from the UK or US.
I just told my Mom I was writing about it for a heads up and she said it wasn't true. She said "Who" and I said I don't remember. She said, "You were only babysat by Granny and Grandpa and us, and maybe Loren who was only 10 at the time--you didn't go to preschool, didn't have babysitters, ..." and I said, "Yes, I did go to preschool. I remember it." My mother stopped and looked at me and then said, "Okay, yeah, when you were 5, or I guess 4." I said, "I remember a lot of things from when I was 4. I remember things from when I was maybe older at 3 and a lot of things when I was 4."
My Mom said, "That was a christian preschool and I hardly think they or (did she say Dennis or Pat?) Pat O'Leary would have sexually abused you." Through the door when I told her about the OBGYN too, she said, "I don't believe any U.S. military raped or sexually assaulted you". I didn't tell her I thought it was U.S. military.
I guess I had learned the alphabet there, but I wanted to know how to read and no one would show me before kindergarten. I asked my Mom almost every day to teach me how to read and she didn't. She said, "Wait until you're in school." I didn't want to wait. I don't remember very much from the preschool. I mainly remember the grounds it was on. I can't remember anything we did there.
My mother's eyes are very dark black and impressed by torture this morning and she is wearing some kind of tiny butterfly clip on top of her head which is not her style at all. I went over there to get some Advil and let her know what I was writing and said I never brought it up before bc I didn't think it made me look attractive or like a prospect someone would want to date but I was bringing it up now bc I feel it helps to prove my claims about what has been going on and how my family has been used and tortured in secret programs. The gave me 4 advil and then I accidentally dropped one and it rolled next to an empty bucket that had been filled with charcoal briquettes, and it rolled with the I-2 side up. I had 3 left in my hand. I do remember singing or looking at Christmas catalogs, for things I wanted, when I was 2 but I think it was partly bc we had a tape of me singing full songs at age 2, in tune and remembering all or almost all of the words to many songs. My memories are very solid, sometime before age 4 (when I was 3) and definitely at age 4. I remember many many things. I remember getting my ears pierced with my Aunt Locklyn at age 4, I remember the face of the woman who did it at the mall and how she did it and it was right on my 4th birthday. I remember getting a Shirley Temple afterwards. I really liked my Aunt Locklyn and thought she was fun. I remember asking Jesus into my heart and the entire prayer I made privately to God Himself at age 4, on my knees, I remember all of my thoughts at that time, and then walking out of my bedroom in Moses Lake to announce to my Mom and Dad, "I just asked Jesus into my heart!" They both smiled and said "You did?!" and I remember thinking, "They don't think I'm serious." I was very serious and I said, "Yes, I did!" and I could tell they thought it was cute or they were happy and had a little spark in their eyes, and I remember how deeply meaningful it was to me, even at only 4. I remember what I tried to do with J.R. at age 4 and how I knew all these things I shouldn't have known if I was never raped or assaulted. If I remember getting my ears pierced so well, on my 4th birthday, I am sure I remember a few things when I was 3 years old too. I remember preschool and where it was in Moses Lake, out in the country at a really remote location with concrete round waterfall structure and sculpture type things and a modern design. Large concrete building, green grass, and tall poplar type of trees. I think oak trees too (1 or 2). All deciduous.
From the time I was about 3 1/2 to newly 4 years old, I can remember entire days, in a lot of different kinds of detail and sequence: what I did, what I was thinking first that led me to do something, how I felt and what I thought about after I acted on my thoughts, what I was wearing, what the reactions of others were, exact dialogue of what we talked about and what they said to me, location, time in the week (which day of the week), time of day and sequence of the day, my opinions of how others were interpreting what I told them and my psychoanalysis of what their responses meant.
Actually, I guess my earliest memory is of holding my baby brother when he was born. I think he was born in 1976. His birthday is June 23rd. My birthday is October 22, 1974, and if he was born June 23, 1976, I would have been exactly 2 years old. I don't remember anything else except for holding my baby brother at different times and I do remember pulling him out of his crib on my own and my parents had no idea how I did it. The sides of the crib were all the way up and somehow I got him out.
My more complete memories are at age 4, but I remember my brother at age 2. I also remember thinking I wanted to hold him more than I did. Wait, maybe he was born in 1977, not 1976--yes, so that means I was 2 years and 8 months old. This is when I remember my brother being born, holding him at different times, and later dragging him out of his crib. If I remember correctly, I wanted to get him out and he was standing there ? or maybe he couldn't stand yet? or maybe he held onto the bars and that's how he stood? maybe he didn't stand at all. I believe I did it by taking hold of his footsie jammies. I think he was wearing a 1-piece footie pajama thing that went from the neck to the feet and I either reached through the bars and kept pulling him up and then grabbed the back of it and pulled him over, and then carried-dragged him to my parents, or I guess I got onto another piece of furniture and did it. It was a standard sized crib, off the ground, and somehow I did it. He was only in a crib for a short time and then he had his own bed.
I am bringing up my memories and when I was able to remember things for purposes of proving I do not have an altered memory of some things. Some things that I say I remember, were not my imagination or ideas someone put in my head. They are accurate and exact memories. I remember holding my brother when he was a baby at age 2, but I don't remember preschool when I was 3 except for the courtyard around it. I remember a lot of things in detail from age 3 1/2-4. And I remember exact things from kindergarten up through school.
I think at the preschool I also remember making some art things with construction paper, like taking home cut out animals or butterflies and things. I also remember I used to sit on this large concrete block in the courtyard and wait for my mother to pick me up, by myself, after preschool was out. And I knew my alphabet before kindergarten, but I kept asking to learn to read before age 4 and no one would show me. I remember I asked all the time. Later, I wanted to learn how to sew and no one would show me that either. I was taught to sew with a needle and how to thread a needle and make barbie clothes and sew on a button. I wanted to be taught how to use the sewing machine but no one would teach me. I asked all the time and then the one time my Mom said she'd show me, it was after my Dad bought one of my favorite books and they knew nothing could break me away from a book. So she said it was now or never. I said, "After I'm done reading this book!" and after I was done, she said I lost my chance. I was given one chance to learn and when I turned it down to finish my book, I was never given the opportunity again. Probably more MK stuff.
I was never taught to cook, I taught myself. I was never allowed to do any laundry until I moved out of the house. My chores were dishwashing by hand, gardening, cleaning my room and dusting/vacuuming, mowing the lawn, and I came up with entreprenuerial ideas of things to make and sell, for money.
10:50 p.m. Now I know why my mother had a gold butterfly clip on top of her head. I ended up making a video clip where there is a gold bar thing behind me on the cupboard, next to my head, and then in the clip, when I moved my head scarf, part of my hair shows up looking like a gold hoop clip earring on one ear (not the other one). Very weird. Also, before I made this clip, I had decided, after seeing my Mom's hair like that, which looked weird, to be humble so I did my hair sort of weird and put a blue thing around it which ended up looking like a halo (also I had a red rubberband in it and then a bun on top). It looked sort of strange, so I cut it out of the first clips I made but maybe I should just leave it. Then I put a flower behind my ear just bc it smelled good but I didn't know if I should leave it and not have people know why I did my hair different. I guess maybe I should just leave it--I really just didn't want anyone to think I was losing it. I'll upload them.
*********
Today is September 18, 2012 and I've been uploading information and video clips the last couple of days. I will add the links here when I can.
I would like to add, that with all of the comments I've had lately about being a different gender, combined with an OBGYN saying I'd been raped and that I had a narrow pelvis, and CIA records destroyed about me from 1977, it is about MKUltra. I don't care for the comments about being a "man" or suggestion that I was born with a different gender when I wasn't. This is not why CIA destroyed records about me. They don't care, and neither does the FBI, about gender. It is also not why I have a narrow pelvis as my Aunt Charlotte and others do as well. I had no problem going from a small B bra size to a huge DDD (or more) bra size when I was pregnant with my son either. There was no "surgery" done to me to change me--I was raped and I was part of CIA/DOD MKUltra. For the FBI to refer to me as "Mr." instead of Ms" was only an attempt to claim they couldn't find records, and a reference to how I had told people others didn't like my protesting or activism because it was intimidating to them and not "feminine". I said men do this and never have a problem. I also stated in a psych eval that the FBI got ahold of, through an Oregon State Bar psychologist that I voluntarily asked about and went to, that I sometimes wished I was a "man". I checked this on the MMPI and then clarified it is bc they get away with more and are not expected to be passive. It had to do with rights, and equal treatment, not gender. However, the FBI has made fun of me and mocked me while their agents raped me.
Medications I have been illegally given without my consent have had to do with birth control, experimental drugs for candida that Dr. Butler refused to treat and which then became systemic, and other medications to dumb me down and slow me down. They also drugged me to poison me, and have drugged me to conceal evidence of the results of torture. I have never had "horomones" or injections for things.
So anyone trying to distract from the actual seriousness of what is true, is trying to suggest alternatives in order to cover up what crimes are being committed.
*************
September 22, 2012.
I've uploaded video clips for each day through the 20th. I haven't put the links here yet, but they are all with my name on youtube.
Yesterday, the 21st, I didn't make any clips because I had to work on college matters with signing up for classes. Today is the 22nd and I've been working on the same thing. So I may or may not make clips for today.
*************
It's September 28th and I've been uploading video clips but I still have to add the links here for the last several days I've done this. I also noticed there were some deletions of a few of the clips so I need to reload those. I also will correct the tags to denote a better description for each video as they have different content. Not all talk specifically about torture and effects, but events leading up to or surrounding this. I have been tortured the last few days. It was pretty much like someone laid off and reduced the level until the 1st week of classes at OSU. Then, every day, it's been increased from previous weeks. I've had really horrible things recently. Torture to my ear, metal in my neck, tooth filling and under my chin (like today, and today, since I was wakened with this at 7:30 a.m. and then it has continued all the way through noon. It is now 12:21 p.m.). I slept most of the night and no torture, but then, on the dot, hardcore torture and I took OTCs and whoever is doing this plays a game with reducing actual torture when I take OTCs, as if it's about that when it's not. They know when I take them, and I will get into that later. Not yesterday but the day before, on wednesday I believe it was--I was repeatedly jabbed to the head with repeated military technology that I've described before, which then results in huge swellings of my head. It was done repeatedly to the left side of my head. Last time they did this, it was to the top of my head, partway down, on the right. Most recently, they targeted a specific spot on my head on the left side. The torture increased tremendously after Sept. 24th. I made a lot of video clips that day, to show I am not mentally ill and show consistency in my thought and speech and mood or whatever, but clearly those who are part of the torture and hate crime-sponsored by the U.S. are always put off whenever I sound halfway normal or look decent for once.
**************************
September 30, 2012.
For 3 days now, my Microsoft Word has been disabled. On Friday or the day before, my wifi connection was totally shut down and I couldn't get a connection even up against the router. Another person's internet account showed up next to mine, as "wolfe". This name has popped up around the time I'm having problems with my connections, for whatever reason.
Then yesterday and today I have tried to open a Word document and it won't open at all. Tonight it is giving me the message that Microsoft is downloading something.
*********************
October 2, 2012.
Yes, I've made clips everyday. Still uploading but some days and nights there have been many disconnections and disruptions or it's slow. I do need to paste links here too.
Within the last 2 weeks, a few times, maybe a week ago or so, I noticed some things happening again with my always getting Bible verses about the same thing, or coinciding with what I've been thinking about. Sort of felt like someone praying for me now and then as well.
Today I wasn't depressed but I opened to a part about "teach your women to wail, teach them how to lament..." from Jeremiah 9:20. I wondered what a "lament" was, if it was something I could sing and I thought about the idea of wailing women. That was this morning. Tonight I opened up my Bible and it fell right on the first chapter of Lamentations. This was right after I was thinking to God about the idea. I had forgotten, this morning, there is an entire book called "Lamentations".
I also thought this evening, before reading this, the idea of sacrifice and of just accepting God's love.
**********************
October 6, 2012. I need to keep my posts here for right now while I upload videos. I didn't make clips yesterday because I was so tired from trying to figure out where I am supposed to live. What was done was not my parent's timing or doing. I knew after they did this that it was to provoke PTSD or create intentional emotional distress and I know that it is coming from the same group that did this to me with lawsuits. Deliberate stalling and provocation and stringing me along...that's what Mt. Angel Abbey first did to me. No one ever did this before they did, and before they had lawyers from Bullivant telling them what to do. The FBI is involved and has a lawyer working inside Bullivant. So it should have been no suprise but it was, and it was a shock, because of the timing. My family would not treat me like a business deal and give me 30 days notice out of the blue, and land this on me after they already knew timing was bad and I was behind in studies. They would never do this to me unless they were told to and I know for a fact they were told to do this. I now know, but then, I was just shocked and freaked out. It's exactly what John Kaempf and all of his nasty fellow FBI employees wanted. John Kaempf works for the FBI. This is why there has been a huge problem. I believe there are others that do as well, but he is one of them. So all along, there was a conflict of interest and then if he's an FBI lawyer, why is he threatening my grandparents with letters on Bullivant letterhead? That makes not just Bullivant liable for threatening and intimidating witnesses, but the FBI liable. At any rate, my reaction to all of the stress was extreme but they knew what they were doing and they did it deliberately.
Also, I am being tortured all day today, to the point of bleeding. It is all mainly torture to my heart and chest region where the metal stent is. The U.S. has been creating the extremely hot burning sensation to where they implanted me (through the groin during my D&C) with a "forked" metal stent and fiber that they have remotely accessed ever since my Maryland surgery in 2009. They have tortured me to this region since I was with Chris Rozollo and it was never done before because there was never a metal stent in my chest before. It was impossible until after a surgery was done. They tried it out on me, 3 months after Alvaro left. The U.S. has put multiple implants in my body and basically disregarded all of my rights. They did this to me when I was with Alvaro, in revenge for knowing I had voided the marriage license. So they decided if I had voided the marriage license on their FBI employee, they were going to put another implant into my body to torture me with, whenever Alvaro was out of the picture or they wanted me to sound crazy again (so Alvaro could take my son from me and raise him himself, whatever...). To my knowledge, the U.S. has put 3 different implants into my body: through my neck surgery, for 'tele-torture', in 1995; through a dental filling in 2006; and through a metal stent to my chest in 2009. The other forms of torture (to my head, which I've explained and talked about extreme swelling after I am targeted to my head), are not by implants by long range satellite and MRI technology that is part of the aerospace defense industry. The Iranian scientist was not lying. He knew exactly what he was talking about and had no reason to lie and had zero reason to think that I was going to bring up my symptoms and describe my son's symptoms from being tortured. He knew what it was.
Let me ask the U.S. something. Out of all of the scientists and doctors who met me and wanted to talk to me, from the U.S., which one ever helped me? Which scientist who was a U.S. citizen said, "That sounds like...______" and used their knowledge to help inform me of what could have been used against me and my son? They ALL kept their mouths shut. There are a lot of scientists who could put a name to most of the things I describe and make educated guesses about what has been done to me and my son and NOT ONE U.S. citizen has EVER come forward for me or Oliver. Out of all of the thousands of scientists and doctors I've come across, only ONE was willing to innocently try to help validate me. An Iranian.
And YOU--The U.S.--WANT TO OBLITERATE Iranians for doing good deeds. It was an Iranian that did the best deed as a scientist, in trying to tell me and help me and my son. An Iranian was the Good Samaritan. Which one of YOU can call yourselves "Good Samaritans"?
None of you. It's like the proverb about who Jesus calls the "good sheep" and the "bad sheep" and he casts out the bad ones. They all say, "When did we not clothe you, feed you, or give you a drink of water?" and Jesus says, "As you did not do this for the least of these (children) so you did not do it for me. Depart from me you hypocrites." Out of all of the educated christians, Catholics, atheists, Buddists, and Jews, none of these scientists did anything to help validate me and my son and protect us from torture and being written off. A Muslim Iranian did. I wouldn't be so hasty to go after "Ishmael" if ishmael is more of a Good Samaritan than "israel". Show me a Jew who validated me and gave me information that I could use in my defense for me and my son. Oh wait,....that's right...they're too busy raping me and colluding with Catholics in joint projects to ruin my life. Not ONE Jewish scientist has said a word to me to validate me. Not one. But the Muslim Iranian did and he was not lying. Do you really think that God does not bless him for what he did? I would not forget that God created the entire nations from Ishmael because of the arrogance of Israel. I know very well that I have Muslim "enemies" because they drugged me in TN. However, they were all from Eastern India, and ordered to do after military and FBI told them to. I mean, what a trade agreement. In exchange for giving a big billion dollar trade deal to Eastern India, Panetta gets Eastern Indians in TN to assault me with Haldol. What a trade agreement.
So I have seen nothing from the U.S. to validate me. Instead, today I am tortured again, and no change at all, even as I proved I am not delusional about having my calls blocked, or going to "closed" messages when businesses are not closed, or being redirected.
Anyway, I swore a lot and flipped out yesterday because of stress and thought I should still make a video clip but I was too upset and too tired. I'll make some today. I again notice what was done to me, was done after I made video clips where I am calm and collected and have some dignity. For example, talking about "the difficult situation". Right after this, the U.S. laid into me and ordered my own parents to give me an eviction. This country tortures me and traumatizes me while degrading me and forcing me to get behind, and all of it is to create a reaction when they know I have PTSD (not major but mild) because of their actions already.
**********************************
October 7, 2012.
I was trying to upload clips and that wasn't a problem, but reviewing my saved files was not possible because someone was tampering with the controls to play, fast forward, rewind, pause, or do anything with one of the clips. I am very tired of hackers who work for the U.S. government, using my computer for their amusement and to mess around with and stop and start what I do. I videotaped it and then just deleted it because you can take my word for it on that, as all you have to do now in order to believe me and that my word means something, is to look at the upload I made which shows tampering of my telecommunications.
*********************************
It's October 9, 2012.
I've been uploading clips and someone again tampered with a clip by breaking federal law and tampering with my computer. I have been uploading clips from September 29, 2012, and last night I got to one of them, and was uploading to conversion in the Move Maker program which then allows me to post it on youtube. Someone changed the controls to make it impossible for me to upload it to the program. So then I could still watch it in a different form, but they did the same thing where last time I had to record over myself. Basically, all of the "cartoon" looking clips where I had to set up my camera to record myself already recorded and playing on the computer. Except this time, someone changed controls and removed them so I couldn't fast forward through any section of the clip and had to go through every single minute. It's over an hour long. So I was having to record over this and started that last night, and then after I went to bed and left this run on its own, someone put my voice on "mute" and turned off the clip and had my camera recording empty footage.
This is on ongoing problem.
Wait, I just found out that might have been cut off there naturally but I am not sure because the time is changed. So I have to check the content and the time.
*******************************************
October 10, 2012.
Panetta punished the former "friends" of the CIA again by putting a drone against them to kill them. Right after the taliban/al quaeda shot a Pakistani girl in the head and neck, probably deliberately in places where it would not kill, Panetta ordered an attack. At first glance, it looks like the "taliban" is bad for doing this to a teenager but what Panetta didn't like was their political point, which he did not miss.
The Taliban was proving the U.S. is a Country of Hypocrisy. They specifically chose an activist, and did this to her only in an exception, to show the U.S. how they have treated me, for being an activist. They said they did this to the woman, shot her in the head and neck, for activism and "obscenity" but what they did to this girl is no different from what Panetta has done to me and my family. This country wanted to ruin my life and put microchips into my body, in 1995, and targeted me for torture and then they targeted my son as well. So while the U.S. dances around Pakistan, killing Al Qaeda, what they don't like, is the political message they are sending.
The U.S. makes this huge deal about how they are justified in killing Pakistanis, for killing a teenage activist who is educating women, when the U.S. hasn't wanted me to be a whistleblower, or activist, or educate people (men and women) about their rights under supposed U.S. law, or religious discrepencies.
I was tortured and punished worse for my attempt to exercise "free speech" and was told by the social workers that if I did not quit writing about others on my blog, they were taking my son from me.
I had figured out my migraines were not naturally triggered and were hits from the military (DOD) and aerospace defense industry since I had surgery in Utah (they got money afterwards for "telesurgery" through NASA and DOD while they teletortured me). The U.S. didn't care that all of the elite in the UK knew about it, and even started a children's show called "teletubbies" after this was done to me. I was being mocked over torture and the U.S. didn't mind their freedom of speech. As long as the victim was clueless (me), they didn't care. It was a great game for all of them. When I started sending email to people about how I had discovered my migraines were triggered by other means, in 2005, I was then tortured and punished and tortured even worse when I started a blog.
I was threatened by CPS and had my child taken from me in the middle of torture to both of us, and then was told the only way to get him back was to "stop blogging". Basically, they didn't like the fact that I was making torture crimes by the U.S. world-knowledge. They punished me and threatened me, by telling me I wouldn't get my son back if I didn't stop writing about others, about crimes, and about what the U.S. had done to me (and then my son).
The woman the Taliban shot was named Malala (Yousafzai). Panetta is getting nervous. I called the American Psychological Association a week ago, asking for information on Julie, a psychologist from Wenatchee. During the conversation, the man with APA said to me, it says she is from Muh-log-ah? I said, "I don't know" and then asked him later to spell it and then said "Oh! Mal-a-ga." I said I knew where that was. She specializes in hypnotism and someone in Wenatchee was hypnotizing my son while he was a "ward of the state". The U.S. allowed people to torture and hypnotize my son. So I called about her to make a complaint about this woman for what she'd done to me, personally, by trying to defame me and sharing confidential information to others. She got her PhD from Washington State University. I think it was WSU and not UWA (university of washington).
This country has lied to its own citizens and the entire world. They tortured me and my son and they're using my son. They illegally used him for research and tortured him while he was out of my care.
After I called the APA to look her up, my parents were then forced to delay on getting books for me for college and I was told I had to move when I got upset. The group that's upset, is U.S. criminals who don't want their disgusting criminal secrets exposed. This is the only reason the U.S. is killing Taliban and Al Quaeda--for religious revenge for bombing a Catholic church 1 time, and for revealing U.S. secrets. The U.S. CIA trained them and now the U.S. got someone in who wants to kill all of them off. The whole media slant is that they are not allowing women to be educated but we are probably hearing 1/2 the story. The Pakistani (etc) men appreciate having women who can educate their sons and daughters. Educated mothers raise educated boys and girls and make the fathers proud. What they might have reservations about is mixed company schools or public schools for some reason. Possibly, it's that they don't like the regular public schools and want to home school their kids. No one hears about what they really think. They are not "anti-women" when they are sometimes helping or possibly (to Panetta's mind) assisting U.S. women like me, and others in the U.S., to tip people off about who the criminals in the U.S. are. That's not anti-feminism or anti-women. They defended women from rapists and they have sometimes even defended American women. Panetta wants to kill them for it. Even if they were not tipping anyone off, if Panetta even "thinks" they are, he kills them. Some of their people have even been almost martyrs for others, including even people in America.
My son and I have been tortured. We are used by the U.S. but it's been an excuse for allowing hate crime and anti-competition. The U.S. has not returned my son to me and instead used people to make it 100% impossible for me to prove them wrong or even appeal, at any point. Only the U.S. government can make the change that is necessary. They colluded to conceal crime and committed acts of torture and terrorism against their own citizens and someone connected to the U.S. government is the only person or group that can overturn a fraudulent excuse for taking my son and adopting him out illegally, when he was kidnapped from me.
I felt a lot of love in my heart for the Pakistani people, when I thought about them last night, and I don't have anything against any nation or culture. I offend them all equally and love them and their traditions and cultures as much. What I hate is those who targeted me and my son, who still keep a cover and I offend the wrong people sometimes, but I can't find the correct people without offending some. I also love my own country and what it's supposed to stand for, but I can't tolerate the criminals who abuse authority.
I was reading from my 2 Bibles and then this other book I was given last night and then I stopped at a place and put them down and prayed for a minute. I asked God to show me something about the Taliban or have an understanding of them and then I had nothing to mind and picked up one of the Bibles again and kept reading and then after the chapter I was on, it went to the place about a woman who was raped by a tribe and died and the man cut her into 12 pieces. He was an Israelite, and he sent one of the 12 pieces to each tribe with a message to meet him over this horrific crime. His own conduct wasn't the greatest actually, to send her out to them, but then he did want to avenge her rape. So all the tribes came together and decided together to punish the tribe of Benjamin (which was the one that the group of men was from). They did what they thought was best by trying to defend a woman who was raped, even though she was a concubine and not a wife, and for threatening to kill this man and all his household if he did not hand her over. Then they tried to make peace after greiving over the loss of brotherhood and peace and unity, but only after they tried to remove corruption and evil. When the other tribes saw their brothers were not with them for the feasts before God, they mourned for them and decided to marry their daughters so they could grow as a tribe again. But they first did what they felt was right.
I personally don't like the whole story because it says this evil group asked for a man to rape and the man says no, don't do that evil thing, and then under threats of all being murdered he sent out a woman instead. So I don't like that "part" but in some way, I did think while reading this story again, that this is a little bit how maybe the Taliban feels, so I thought, maybe that was the answer to my prayer when I asked God for a better understanding of them. I don't expect them to understand me and I already know I'm not perfect or don't do everything in keeping with everyone would like. But I do expect those living in the U.S., under U.S. law, to understand the laws of human rights.
***********************************
October 14, 2012.
My videocam was ruined last night because of my being tortured in the middle of the night by the U.S. If I had not been tortured, it would not and could not have happened. It only happened because I was tortured last night. I had already gone to bed and I had to get up to take painkillers because the U.S. began torturing me to the point that I couldn't sleep which forced me to stumble in the dark to get painkillers and knock over my videocam into a dish that was half-full of water. It was not even in the water long, and I don't think it's really broken, but it won't turn on and the U.S. has done this--jammed my equipment or turned on and off devices, with almost everything I've owned. This was yes, dropped in water, but before that, the U.S. was deleting things and making the cam focus blurry or not, and doing other things. So I was forced to buy a new one and they knew I would get the same thing bc I didn't want to mess with something else right now. They gave me 2 options and one had a broken seal and the other one was sealed and I asked for others and this was all Fred Meyers gave me. So I took the only one with the seal still on home, and it's a piece of crap. It's rattling and has a tin squeak when I press any of the buttons on it. It's not usable and it's not a functioning videocam, so now it's just a waste of my time.
I wanted to see if I could go with someone to town tomorrow and asked my Dad because I thought he was going and he wouldn't come to the door and I haven't seen him and he sounded like he had my son's voice again. He sounded like a kid and one word answers. Oh, wait, I guess he did come to the door. And that's when I saw part of his thumb has a scar from an acid burn to the skin like my son had happen to him. That was one form of torture against him that CPS is responsible for, which I forgot to mention in one of my clips about abuse and torture of my son in this country.
So there will not be a clip for today, because I do not have a normal videocam that is operable and I have to return it.
Update 10/14/12. It is now 10: 46 p.m. and as soon as I started doing work for college, I was then being burned by U.S. technology and targeted for torture. It wasn't being done, even when I was sitting in front of the computer (laptop) and reading some news online. Then the minute I opened up the OSU (college) blackboard (online) site, I was then being targeted for torture by the U.S.
This is anti-competition. It is crime, has always been crime, and will never be anything but crime, and it is anti-competition. This is being done to deliberately interfere with college and my studying for college.
If the U.S. wanted to experiment for "research" they could have done that while I was reading news online. What is the difference between my reading news online and my reading college documents for classes online? If the U.S. tortures me for research, they would have an opportunity to do this while I am reading any kind of text, and would not specifically target me to interfere with my reading and torture me only when I am reading text that is tied to my scholastic success, financial aid, and ability to go to grad school, have good grades, and pursue a career.
This country is criminal.
It is now 10:55 p.m. and it is still being done to me. Not as strong, so someone backed off, but it's still happening and then they added the other form of technology that does not just burn my heart and chest region (where the metal stent is). They are using the other form that causes twitching in my legs and feet and for the last 2 or 3 days they've been doing this every single time I made a video clip, but to my chest region and not my legs. I was being targeted specifically while I was on the camera making clips about torture by the United States of America.
If this is a great country, why are people who want to drag it down, controlling this and torturing me? My talking about what is being done to me is not good for the U.S. It doesn't bring respect to this country and plenty of people, including internationals, believe me. They all know I'm not mentally ill. They met me in person and saw for themselves. So good luck to those who claim they are serving country interests when they are only serving themselves. They are no different than those who deliberately attempt to incite hatred in other countries to start revolutions and want it to look like it's coming from a leader of the country. This is inciting disrespect of the U.S. and trashing this country for good.
People believe me.
Update: 10/14/12. It is now 11:31 p.m. and for the last 10-15 minutes all access to the online OSU site was disabled and malfunctioning. None of the documents were opening and the page shut down several times. Then it wouldn't open at all and Blogger wouldn't open either. There was nothing wrong with the computer today until I was working on college work. There is a deadline for assignments and I know my own speed and how quickly I read and how fast I write. The interference with my computer is to waste time and to push me past the deadline. This is being done to me in addition to actual torture by technology whenever I attempt to read or do assignments. Only after 15 minutes did the documents open. I couldn't open any of them, and then the site was down. Then the 'connection' was lost and I had to sign back into it and refresh the page several times and the documents still wouldn't load correctly.
*********************
It's October 15, 2012. I just saw my Dad this morning and he was newly tortured. I saw him yesterday going into the store and he looked traumatized and I was in the store where the U.S. post office worker and his French Jewish wife were (the CIA ones). She walked by me and said hello and I didn't react, just said hi and went on with what I was doing--she acted polite and I did the same. Then my Dad came into the store later and did not look okay. Yesterday morning his eyes had these deep impressions too. They don't look as bad today but then today BOTH of his hands were all swollen up at the knuckles like when the police were around last time I noticed. His hands were swollen up, and the thing is, he only has an "arthritis" problem in one hand, not both. There isn't any reason both of them would be swollen except for torture. He also had a darker mark on the left side of his cheek, from technology, a "V" made out onto his face which caused the pigment in his face to be darker color. Last night I made a collage for my son that ended up having a few v's in it (not my plan or intention) and then today my Dad shows up after being out, with this mark on his face.
I was asked about my progress in leaving but there is no place in the U.S. to "leave to". Unless this country quits torturing me, they've done this to me wherever I've gone and even stretched out their arms across country lines to illegally collude to arrest me for extraordinary rendition back to the U.S. when I was asking for political asylum in Canada, and they kidnapped my son. They brought me back to the U.S. to torture me further and this is all they've done since my son and I were kidnapped from Canada and put under false arrests to make it appear as though it were not a state-coordinated kidnapping. There is no reason not to be with other tortured family members as long as I am forced to live in the U.S. under torture and as a hostage while they pretend they've adopted my son out legally--if I move, it will be to another country and my son is to go with me. Period. As long as I am in the U.S. I have a right to not be tortured, to have free enterprise, and to have my son returned. If I go to another country, it is with my son Oliver, and it is to a place that does not sponsor this kind of terror against their own people (or those who move there to become part of their people).
The United States of America kidnapped my son from me and since then, for the last 2-3 years, I have not heard from my son at all. He is "adopted" out to my "family" and I never see my son, hear him, and he never sees or hears from me.
I was cut off from all communication with my son because of the United States of America, their hate crimes disguised as "research", and their terrorism programs against children, which include my son Oliver.
The U.S. hires terrorists to assault and torture children and they pay them a state salary to do it.
I do not believe it will be any different with Romney and in fact, I think he is out of touch with human suffering and I am pretty sure this "Bain" group, took money and was part of the microchips implanted into my body at Utah hospital. When it's not about religion, it's about money and greed and some people only need money as an incentive to do harm to others. Others might have a religious motive, but the other group, will support religious hate if they are getting personal or group pay-offs of money or power.
(later tonight...I watched the debate coverage a day or so later. Obama seemed more nervous than Romney to start but then they both seemed equally comfortable. What I found myself doing, rather than listening to what they were saying, was writing down when they had droopy eye on one side of their faces. Of the content, I felt it was pretty equal, as to my opinion of how things should run--good ideas for both and Romney was very energetic and strong. My main possible question was delegating federal monies to the states--I don't know that I agree with that idea as states have a lot of delegation already but I would have to know more to really have a solid opinion. Basically, the only man who did not have droopy eye was the moderator. I was pausing the clip while they talked, and looking at their eyes after I noticed Obama, specifically, had one eye droopier than the other. So I thought, "They're doing this to the President?" Whatever they're doing, it is on a much lower scale than things done to me, and you can't tell if you just watch without pausing. Romney kept his head at a angle that made it harder to detect but I found it occuring with him a few times. I found droopy eye on both of them, but one had droopy eye on one side, and the other had droopy eye on the other side. For example, Romney had it on the right, and Obama had it on the left. (right eye droopy for Romney, left eye droopier for Obama). Which sort of made it look like some kind of weird inside game or joke to aerospace defense industry or whoever does this kind of thing. I accidently found it when I paused and saw one of Obama's eyes was droopier as he was blinking. Then I started looking for it and was pausing throughout the debate. The moderator? It never happened with him, ever. So why with the Presidential candidates? It isn't anything at all like what's been done to me. I don't believe they are ever tortured either. However, used...or "controlled" in some less-detectable ways? apparently so. Since one of them had the droopier eye on one side of the head and the other on the other side of the head, I don't know if it's possibly that something is used to target (at such a low level they don't notice) one side of their head which then effects a stroke-like result on that part of the brain which controls that eye (or possibly the same side as the eye that controls muscle-motor movement). I'm not sure if Obama's left-handedness vs Romney's right-hand comes into play at all, or why, if it was done deliberately, they would be affected on different sides. An inside joke? or an attempt to access or control functions on one side the brain? It was happening more with Obama, I thought, though it was slightly easier to find with him bc his eyes are wider or the lid is larger so if there is any droop or difference with his rt. vs left eye, you can see it more easily than with Romney who has a smaller lid. I found it with both of them, but with different sides of the eyes affected. So, umm...you guys still don't want to defend me and my son about torture in the U.S.? just wait until entire populations are suffering from torture and being targeted--I don't think you want that kind of country, do you? I watched from this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Qg4k8Ldhsg.
Check out ...(I had it backwards...other eye)...21:16 and 21:17. Look at Obama's eyes. His right eye is closed more than his left and the right eye is sort of bugged out more. Just press pause rapidly through those 2 seconds and you can see what I'm talking about. Through the full second on 21:16 and then up to 21:17 (his eye actually increases in size over the second or the difference becomes more apparent.). Watch again at 21:31-32. Same thing. Right around this time is where you can find it or pick up on it most. Earlie, at 3:35 it was the opposite eye that is droopier--his left eye and you can find this but it's fraction of a second timing. With Romney, I wasn't sure that I was finding the same thing bc of angle. At 23:29, Romney's right eye closes before his left eye closes, I think, but it's a side angle so I can't tell for sure and it might be the angle. At 24:46 his left eye appears to be just slightly droopier but again, it might be angle. There is no mistaking that it happens with Obama.
***********************
10/19/12.
I have had a very late start with college. Most of it is due to actual torture, every time I've tried to study or put something together for college. Also, the last 2 days I have been literally shocked at my door, with electrical shocks. Not vibrations or anything like that--electric fence style shocks if I even touch my front door.
The U.S. is guilty of torture of their own citizens to favor UK spies. Kate Middleton and her family are spies for the United States.
The only reason the US has allowed me and my son to be tortured, has been in punishment over my activism and to promote the Middleton family. They are paid by the US government and work for the US and the US wanted them to have proximity to English government. They have allowed Israeli interests and US parties to torture my family on behalf of the Middletons.
I've had US spies try to get close to me and rape me or date rape just for purposes of trying to get a grip on how to figure me out and find out if I am gifted in the same way that my parents are. The minute someone thought possibly I had escaped detection and I was gifted, I was being tortured. Not only that, some of the men who work for the federal government got close to me just to make predictions about me for the future--they had no natural interest in me--they used me for experimentation and to try to find out what I could do or not do and then instruct others on how to keep me down and ruin my voice.
Both Presidential candidates already know the Middletons work for the U.S.
She's their "Elizabeth Ledbetter", the one who they decided was "better" than their own citizens born and raised in the U.S. Is it LEDbetter? Do we keep the LED in caps?
I have no idea how the UK and England can put up with it. Not only that, does William even really love and trust her? Even if she is too dumb not to keep her clothes on in public, William was raised knowing what to do, in all circumstances. It's almost like he possibly wanted to have it happen. So why have kids and stay with someone like that? There is no possible way William, at least, did not know what to do. He had to have known the minute she was nude, she was going to be on front pages that way. He would have told her to put some clothes on. How much money is she getting from the US anyway? And how long has Carol been milking the cow.
No comments:
Post a Comment