Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Edward Lee Howard and Torture of U.S. Citizens by U.S. (14)

I can give a little more information about the kind of questions I was asked whenever I was taken into the private room at the dojo, and what they did to me there, though I touched on that in my last post.

Both of those men raped me at the dojo at their last act against me, after making audio recordings of their conversations with me.  I was cut there, burned, and raped, and this was after they made degrading conversation with me on tape.  When I wanted to call police as I left, there was a big group of adult men standing in my way, with a cop in uniform talking to them and joking, to let me know they weren't going to do anything about it.

When he said out loud, for the tape, "If I give you a gold medal will you let me take your cherry?" I was holding a maraschino cherry because on that day they brought cherries in a jar to the room.  I thought he meant if I gave him this cherry I was holding, they'd give me one of the medals they were showing me, because they had spent one entire time, while my cousin was learning karate, talking about "medals" and gold medals, silver medals, competition, and Olympics.  When I said yes, the one who was white then stripped off my belt, undressed me while pushing me down on the chair and raped me as I was yelling.  He put my arms back into restraints before he did and I couldn't get up at all.  There had been no forewarning either.  Then the Japanese man was there and I don't remember him as much, but he did the same thing because I guess they had to keep a pact between them and both of them raping me was their security.  I was in shock for the second one so I don't remember as much.  They had recorded the sounds of it and everything, most likely, because they were recording other things onto tapes.  I remember the cherry I had been holding fell to the floor when the one got on top of me and pushed down and it is the same thing Jew Josh Gatov did, and my Dad a few times before that.  I was shouting something about calling police if they didn't stop, and then by the time I was let out of the room, they had a cop in uniform there, smirking at me with a few lawyers and adult men, mocking me.  They made it very clear they were not on my side and then my belt was taken from me in front of them as they laughed at me, and then a few kids flicked their towels at me as the instructor flicked the belt at my legs hard enough to leave red marks that turned into bruises.

I got in the car with my Aunt Locklyn and cousin and told her something.  At one point she did seem sort of sad but I didn't know what over.  She sat on the couch with me one day, and tied a bandana around her own forehead and then mine, and cried.  Actually, she didn't cry right away.  I am not sure what she cried about later, but she acted vindicated because I had said something about Rani being half-Mexican or something like that, when coaxed to, by someone.  I think one of the things I was raped over was saying I didn't like Jews, even if I didn't know what they were, someone told me something or I was coaxed into saying it, or it was that a Jew told me he was Jewish and then raped me; there was something about this.   I don't remember what it was specifically, but she was mad about something, and then when we were back at the house and I showed her the bloody towel they had stuffed into my tights, she took out red bandanas and wanted to sit by the window with me, wearing them, and have some of the Mexicans see.  One person who was watching was a Mexican and the other was a white man who was sometimes on the property.  They saw her and nodded and she had this firm, sort of proud and determined look like "It's done" and she was glad about it, and nodded back to them.  It was very discreet but I didn't forget it because I thought, "My Aunt Locklyn has spies looking out for cues as to whether I got raped or not?"  Then a different time we sat by the couch and she cried, and my Mom did once as well, in the same way.

After I was raped at the dojo, over a comment about "gold medals", my Aunt took me to get my ears pierced with gold studs and a gun was held to my head for it after that.

Once on one of the private planes someone did something too, but not as much.  I remember someone doing something with their finger, but not with their penis and that is what was done at the dojo, with Judge Hotchkiss! around for it.  I had expected maybe they'd touch me if they were forcing me down, with a finger or something, but it was their penises and they brutalized me.  They did not use condoms.  I remember the exact moment I was holding the maraschino cherry and then it fell, and as I was looking down or bent over to pick it up, I was kicked up with a knee and the jar taken from me and put into arm restraints.  I was on my back in the chair when they did this to me.  It was sort of a reclining chair. 

I think the fact they were audio recording my conversations, to send to someone to 'get to' them, and the comments they made about trading a gold medal for a cherry, indicates they or someone was connected to people from the private planes who were engaging me in conversations about trading a crown for one thing or another, or how I'd get a crown if I did such and such, or would I give them a kiss--that kind of thing.

I know they gave me the maraschinos at the dojo because they knew I liked them and it was something I remembered having on the private planes.  I was holding it in my left hand, using my left hand and fingers to dig out the cherries, and when it fell, it fell on the left side, which is where they kick my head up, from the left.  So a lot of torture was done from the left side, as I've mentioned before.

Also, I always wanted red juice on the planes, not any other kind.  Red (fruit punch) was my favorite kind, until they poisoned it so I threw up and then later, when I was getting sick on a ferry going to Canada, I was always given tomato juice.  If I got carsick, I got tomato juice too, and I remember it did help.  But there was an odd symbolism with red fruit and vegetable juices.

I was getting sick when I left the dojo every time.  I would be in my Aunt's car and she had to pull over to a place, before we even got home, so I could use the bathroom or throw up out of the side of the car.  Usually I had to use the bathroom and I believe it was from the torture they did to me at the dojo.  Locklyn would say, "You need to kai-kai?"

I was yelled at by my Dad and told to "hold it" and to practice restraint but the reason I had to go was because of torture and its effects, not because I had to go "kai-kai" all the time or couldn't wait.  This is sort of consistent with the long-range torture my son and I went through in East Wenatchee, where all of a sudden, all of us, including the cat, had to use the bathroom and were tortured in a way that forced defecation.  After this whole experience is when I was later forced to be locked in a coffin--at least for the coffin at Locklyn's house and the lawyer and cop who showed up to handcuff me and threaten my life.

The rapes were in 1978, which was 1 year after MK Ultra Senate Hearings in 1977, and they were not only raping me, they were torturing me and making audio tapes off of it.

The recording of audio was something my Dad didn't want me to talk about, publish, or have anyone know about.  I thought, at the time, why doesn't he care as much about the idea of my mention of torture, but he DOES care about the fact they were taping me?

Oh, what is also strange, is I remember the expression on the man's face when he saw I held the maraschino cherry with my left fingers and both of them had looked eachother when they gave me the jar and I was taking them out with my left fingers.  They acted like it was some huge deal and that they didn't like, were worried about it, and felt threatened.  Why would THEY care if I was left-handed or not?  I was 4 years old.  Why did it matter?  It was a very big deal to them.

I ended up taking a walk and then coming back to this, looked up tiaras and crowns briefly to see if I recognize any of them.  I only spent a few minutes so I am not sure, and I only saw a few from Diana, Charles and Elizabeth, but I did recognize what I was putting into a drawer for someone that was supposed to be Diana was an actual crown, not tiara.  I just read a tiara goes partway around, and a crown all the way around, and it was a crown and was very heavy.  To a kid, at least, it felt like a watermelon.  Some other time I'll look at them and see if I find the one I always saw but I don't feel like it right now.  But I can at least confirm it was a full crown.  I'll tell you what I remember right now, and I may recall more later, because this has happened, but about this particular crown I put away, I think there may have been 2.  It is possible I put away a man's velvet crown because before putting away this woman's crown, who looked like Diana, on a private plane, I remember a man's velvet crown and putting it into a dresser in a room.  Of the "Diana" crown that I regularly put away, I do remember my mother looked really disappointed when I would say, "I remember it didn't have velvet" like I was wrong.  Because my parents have had to spy and be elusive about so many things, against me or not, I can't always trust what direction they wanted me to think. It is possible she knew I had handled a velvet crown at one time and was disappointed I didn't remember, or it's possible she was trying to have me think the private plane crown was always velvet, so I would be "off" in my claims about knowing Diana.  The truth is, I can't remember.  I remember it was very heavy and I used both of my hands to hold it and it felt like a pumpkin or watermelon weight.  I remember it was a full crown, with a band all the way around.  I do remember velvet somewhere, but I'm not sure if that was in the drawer or on the crown.  It had a traditional "crown" look about it, and was at least several inches high.  I do not remember it having ermine or chinchilla trim at the bottom.  It was a sturdy crown.

pg. 132.  So when E.H. says "For Larisa was sent to be my live-in lover" I have no approximation for that.  It sounds like something straight out of Stephanie Maiers mouth or letter because she always says "For" to preface almost any sentence.  I was not, at that or any time, anyone's lover of course.  I didn't have a live-in one either.  My middle name is Loree which is from Laurel I think, and I sometimes laid my head on Stephanie's chest while watching a movie, because it was comfortable, but not out of a lesbian live-in lover idea at all.  I never imagined myself with any woman because I liked men and wanted to be a wife and mother, but I was also not contentious, in general,with women, if they were pretty or successful, because I admired what they could do.  Stephanie was part of the group that tried to kill me, and I really had no idea until much later.  It is too much for an innocent kid to take in all at once, or even to accept over many years.  When I liked someone, if I did, I wasn't very false about it and I never worked for anyone or had a "motive" to get close.  Perhaps someone, at some time, thought it would be great if I did, but it was not, and has not ever been my objective.  Now, if Stephanie slept with my Dad, I have no idea.  I have no idea what kinds of things went on.  I will say, I can relate to some kind of disappointment about not going somewhere with a bunch of friends I had and instead I was stuck with Stephanie.  It felt like a set-up.  I didn't gravitate to Stephanie naturally.  And I remember I had wanted to do something with a bunch of friends and I got stuck with her, so I made the best of it.  She was the one who pursued the friendship and finally I gave in and ended up becoming best friends with her.  As it turned out, we had a lot of fun in some ways and laughed and laughed, in truth, having a lot of funny moments.  However, was she my choice of a friend?  Actually, no.  Her family was "richer" than any other family I had heard of in town but that was not a draw for me. I liked interesting friends that could delve with me.  I thought she was pretty boring and expected me to be her entertainment.  However, we did become friends and I did begin to appreciate many things about her, in all honesty, however, where I was the one holding back from the first, and then allowing myself to just enjoy the friendship as it was, she was always holding back because she was a spy who wanted to kill me.
I remember I kept trying to call my old friends or other ones and it was like they had the message to not respond and would say, "Why don't you call Stephanie?"  So I did.  I think we did have some fun, however, I can also say it is very true that she was part of plotting to kill me, which is really incredible.  Especially given the fact she was only a year older than I was, and how many 13 or 14 year olds do you expect to be "in-the-gimlet" spies?  She was really distant, cold, and cruel under this very soft, pink, feminine, thoughtful skin.  How many "best friends" smirk to themselves and shout to you, as they laugh to themselves, "Tell it to stop!" after running their horse into the left side of your horse, knowing it will not stop and knowing that I was being trained to kill myself with brake failure?  How many "little girls" or young women are like that?  I can only think it was money driving her.  Money and a hope of impressing some she was close to, for approval.  That's about it.  She had full knowledge of assassination attempts of me by the time she was 15 years old.  So watch out, if you think it's impossible a teenager tries to kill you.  I was not that way myself, at all.  I know she was super-hot to some of the kids out-of-town by the reactions to showing up to cheerlead for basketball games.  The Mexicans screamed for her.  And so did the Russians. She was all long thick blond hair and double D boobs bouncing.  We would go to an out-of-town game and I would be called out by name and a few claps and cheers, courtesy, and actually, some nice courtesy I suppose, and then Stephanie would go out and it was like Crissy from 3's Company had just sat in their laps.  I thought to myself, "Well.  It's true.  I have a very flat, athletic-like figure even if my legs are decent and my face is pretty.  She's the Big Bombshell."  She'd go out there, looking demure and naïve, and naïve,..does that NOT kill you?  these guys were screaming, hollering, saying, "Oh my Go....", and going on and on like why did someone just flash them the Playboy Centerfold before they even scored a point in the game?  Anyway, I noticed of course, but I was not ever really jealous.  I just figured, "That's the way it is and we're different and I can't do anything about it.  Someone who would prefer her wouldn't like me, and vice versa so all's fair in love and war."
Is it really fair in love and war?  Love maybe, war?  Never.  I have no idea which men from Warden and the out-of-town places were ready to mail checks and money orders to Stephanie for her participation in trying to kill me and profile me.
What is strange is I still remember some of the high school men from those other teams in other towns.  I remember being looked at very, very closely by a few who had intense and deep intellectual stares.  Not necessarily friend or not, but in a way, shaking their heads like "how could this be?"
How could what be?  I'm jumping and cheering my way to my death with a plotter bomb-shelling next to me?  Maybe they were shocked I could even jump or shout at all, after being electrocuted by Springers and here I was, now I was cheering next to a conspirators daughter.  Wow.  They must have been thinking. She is having a really fun life and now she's cheering for Will Wagler to play a basketball game like nothing has ever happened, and no, she's not running to the pay phone to call an embassy or police.  So she gave up on U.S. police. 
Meanwhile, for Stephanie they thought, "I would do anything for her.  I would KILL for her.  Stephanie, you want me to put a hit on her and just get it over with quicker?"
pg. 133 Chapter 11: Russian Winter
Here's how much information I got, for knowing what my options were:  I didn't know what SATs were for in my junior high school year or what AP credit was for or that you could get it.  No one showed me the "ropes" on anything, ever.  I was isolated from information.  I was trained to be a spy when I was a toddler and then I got dumped.  Game over.  After that, the U.S. expected me to kill myself and keep their secrets.  The U.S. will take a kid, and spend billions, and at age 4, dump them for good, and make it a priority to have them never succeed at anything in life and make their life one of torture.  I think the CIA needs a spokesperson like me, don't you? instead of "Jenny". 
E.H. says on that train, the Kiev Express rolled south into the night.  The four of them chatted and tried to sleep.  They had lemon tea and arrived a half-hour later at an ornate marble and ironwork station.
I found something about "safety zone" which I wondered about after using the expression for something in my last post:
Safety fan” applies only to rifle and pistol firing ranges. The safety fan of a firing range consists of three parts: the direct fire zone, the safety zone, and the ricochet zone. The direct fire zone is that area into which all shots are fired during the normal course of shooting. This zone includes all directions and angles of fire used on a firing range while shooting at a specific target, either stationary or moving, from a specific firing point. The length of the direct fire zone extends to the maximum range of the ammunition and firearm used on the firing range, but can be shortened by physical barriers or other devices which reduce the maximum distance of a bullet’s trajectory. The safety zone extends 10 degrees to the left and right of the direct fire zone and protects against errant bullets caused by cross fire or accidental discharge of a firearm. The ricochet zone is that area 45 degrees to the left and right of the firing line, and extended a certain distance dependent on the type of firearm and ammunition allowed on the range (i.e., 85 yards for air guns, and up to 1,200 yards for high-powered rifles). The line is then extended parallel to each side of the safety zone downrange to the intersection of a line extended from the terminus of the direct fire zone through the outer corner of the safety zone.
E.H. says he met Boris, and his aide Vladimir, were their hosts for the next 5 days.  They went to a large dacha and he said he was interested in architecture, historic churches, and museums.  He says they had a tour of the city and was told Kiev is the "mother city" of Russia, evolved from the 9th c., and Christianity from there by 10 c.  Then they went to the War Memorial which was on a hill, with a huge statute of Mother Russia, "waving a sword to rally her sons in defense of the motherland."  Down the hill, the dead lay below her, E.H. says (pg. 133) and they play hymns.  He says inside the museum 2 displays stood out to him and one of an 11 yr. old boy's ID card, who was killed in a Nazi camp,and the next was the Soviet death count from WWII (Soviet lost 20 million and U.S. lost 35,000).  He says he thought about how the U.S. and Britain won the war, defeating Nazis with "some help" from Russians.  He says that is some help because it would be the equivalent of every state in the U.S. experiencing 2-3 Pearl Harbor bombings.  His indication is that this is how many people died and what someone would have to imagine in order to compare what the level of cost was between the U.S. and Russia in just that war.  I think he also makes a comparison about 1 Nazi-held boy with millions dead.  Maybe what he is saying, is was it worth 20 million deaths for 1 Nazi-held boy or several thousands?  His indication is that he has sympathy for the boy and it got to him, and at the same time he can think of a country like Russia, getting bombed and killed to the equivalent of 2-3 Pearl Harbor bombs in the U.S. in every single one of the states, to combat the Nazis.  So he might also be saying, why did the U.S. and Britain get credit for winning the war?  He implies Russia won the war.  He's the economist of course, so what do you want to do about it?  This then, frames Russia in a slightly different perspective than might be imagined in a modern sense.  Are they the true liberators of the "jews"? or is just humanity in general?  Would there then be as many officials in hiding, waiting to kill a man who was sympathetic to the PLA? (Palestinian Liberation Army).  The facts raise strong questions, all the way around, that most do not think about because from the start, no one gives credit of WWII to "Russia".  It implies even certain Ukraine "Baptists" would torture an innocent woman and child for some Jews.
What comes to my mind with this section is the part about mother Russia and the sword, rallying her sons. In a sense, that sounds like my Mom, and my brother with their knives.  Sorry, but I wasn't part of the weapons-wielding group.  I was a neutral in pretty much every way.  I guess militias and guerillas don't really like Swiss Army peacemakers sitting around writing diaries.  I think I just looked like an ill-bred wet rat.  "Oh yes, Rhhhhhheeeeettt" (she says with laced breath) "Kill me darling.  Do it now."  There was no romance in being electrocuted.  My other thought is that I went to a Holocaust museum with this wide-eyed, innocent, "blocked out all the torture" mentality, in D.C. and what a fricking whack-job I was to do that.  Those people tortured me, were torturing me, and plotting to torture and kill me further, and I'm going to their "museum"?  Yes, I did, with no thought but, "Oh, all those poor people suffering" and here I was, one of their collosal victims and they were hateful, mean, rapists and murderers.  It never crossed my mind, as I went there, that "Oh yeah stupid.  They have you double-crossed and YOU are their victim you little fly in a half-wrought silken coffin."  So when I went there, in 1995, a couple of things stood out to me.  A photo of a boy or young man who had soulful eyes, and then a huge display of shoes.
Where are MY shoes you fuckers? 
Not to mention my son's shoes.  These bastards have been stealing every single thing from me as if I personally stole their properties from them in Germany when they were the grand clockmakers.  They've had nothing better on their agendas than to spy on me and rape me and steal from me and defame me in their newspapers.  God damn you.
So yeah, I went to this "Holocaust Museum" that is taking up far too much space in Washington D.C. and I literally tried not to cry when I saw the photo of all the "shoes" taken from them when what-the-fuck-were-they-doing-to-me-but-stealing-my-rug-over-mud-puddles-and-laughing-as-I-tried-to-"leap"-over-them-in-white-"Romanov"-shoes?  Which women did they rape me over?  Who were they retaliating against to rape me my entire life?  I think it's time I see God damn them.  Do you think, for one minute, in any given religious moment, I am afraid of "Jews" as "chosen frozen"?  If God hated them enough to raise up Hagar to be the ruination of their lives, it's not as if they are 'immune' to the wrath of God, if you want to spit out epithets.  Katie Middleton is a Mossad plant and nothing else and the U.S. concedes because "Mossad has some of the best intelligence in the world".  The U.S. trades for assholes who like to use religious sentiment as their springboard for massacre and torture of innocent people.  My own parents tried to kill me which pretty much makes them Mossad.  I.e., Katie Koochers.  If I even found out I was half-related to her by my Mom or Dad, wouldn't change how I felt--it would confirm the truth is that these people tried to kill me.
In a sense, speaking liberally here, (obviously), if Russia was willing to send out that many lives to fight in World War II, some probably fought to protect Russia of course, because yes, Germany was invading...however, they also united with a lot of Jews.  This means, some of those Russians uniting with Jews who lived in the U.S. or Israel or Germany, were uniting to kill and torture their enemies.  It is pretty clear the Jews consider me to be their competition and enemy. 
They were happily disguised as the Catholic lawsuits and problems came up, but had always been there.  It was like the greedy grab for the gold under the Catholic propaganda haystack.  "Oh good.  Now Catholics think she is shit, and Mormons have been torturing here and we've been trying to kill her...what could be better than her getting the entire 'Chinese' nation against her?"  I'm not satisfied until I see Josh Gatov's obituary in writing.  The accolades, attributes, and glory given to him for first raping me make me sick and he escaped with the help of the U.S. and should die by God.
 I am just putting this link to this song up here because I need to move it at some point, but I like the art a lot (Frida Kahlo) and I like this song too.
I think the point E.H. makes, which U.S. and British Jews hate, is that one 11 yr. old Nazi boy was valued more than 20 million lives, and the retaliation for one Jew's life far exceeding the value.  To me, as I was about 8-11 when he first speaks about these things, I think it's a reverse portrayal. It is like 20 million attacked one 11 yr. old girl, ME.  They are not dead and were not dead, and I was not dead but alive and they waged 20 million or more against my life.  I say God damn you and your families to hell for as long as God sees fit.  I think it also shows the great mismanagement of U.S. officials and intelligence, in how they and military handle their personal "resources".  If the U.S. wants to be in the public stocks and lock trade, why not hire Katie Middleton and turn the U.S. back into old middle aged England and give her my FBI files too, while they're at it?
My own parents and many others, should be in jail for what they've done to me and my son.  The government is behind it, but they also participated and if their defense is to expose the government in court, so be it, but my suffering and my son's suffering should be avenged. If the U.S. can no longer administer justice, they are out.  Someone is taking your fucking seat U.S. Which is a shame, because it shouldn't be that way, but that's what has already happened.    If you cannot keep up your own house you have no business involving yourself in the affairs of other countries who do not even respect you.  I think the U.S. is too far down to recover.  What is the joke?  The "French Resistance" of Katie Middleton saves the day?  Think again. I've heard enough of "push" to last me a lifetime and the next time I "push", it's Katie in the face.
pg. 134.  E.H. says Boris takes them ice-fishing, to musicals, ballets,and finds the best seats.  He mentioned once he thought the lead actress was pretty and they had dinner with her.  He tried to beg off, in his words, but Boris smiled and they pushed him into the back of the Volga and next to him was Ludmilla. He introduced himself and smiled and on his way home he laughed the whole way, and she had thought he was a foreign dignitary and Boris made him feel at home.
Something here, seems really depressing to me.  I don't know what it is,but he talks about a positive event and yet I feel I should be remembering something bad that happened to me, and also, I suppose I get concerned every time I hear 'milla' or "mil" or million when his last words to his book are "They made a meal out of me."
I think I will remember more later.  I am entering new territory with this book because from here out, it's new material to me I didn't read once before, so some of the memories might return after I continue for a while and then I can go back and address things.  I think the bad feeling I have is from remembering a time where I was pushed into a car and molested by several individuals.  I also remember one time with a woman who was a diplomat and her partner and they really were, but it was a not a good outcome. I had been really degraded and mocked.
If E.H. is still alive somewhere, maybe it's all okay, but it's extremely depressing to think if he went through all this,and tried to write this book, and every one of my enemies got their hands on it and punished me further, but I never had a clue because of this country.  I feel the CIA owes Oliver, my son, at least 1 billion.  If I had to come up with an amount for him, and him alone, at this time, it would be 1 billion and his return to me and an official acknowledgement of who I'm related to, who sold me, who trapped others into government slavery, and who defamed me to make my life impossible, along with torture.
Does anyone reeaally think any child from any other country should be "adopted" by a regular "American"?  No.  I mean, if the parent is a rare person like me, who wouldn't hurt a kid and isn't politically motivated, maybe a rare exception, but there is not one kid from any country that I would recommend coming to the U.S.
I could not support 'Alvaro Pardo' when he was an FBI liar, a CIA false flag, and wanted to bring a kid to a hell-hole (U.S.A.).   It is no less a miracle I escaped his clutches than I held out in my Grandpa's game of "Mercy".  Merci?  Merci, bou-coup and where is the fucking list of passengers from the planes I was on all the time?  Break my fucking hands you asshole Harris--I will never sell my eggs to your fish.
I should add here, the formatting is off and it's going to middle alignment at this time (not by choice).  Sort of annoying, but anyway. 
E.H. says, pg. 134, that,...Lee, do you think your mother could be a rat?  He doesn't say's my interjection.  Seriously, all of these spies are messed up. My own family tried to kill me, so how do you know your Mom didn't tip off agents about your Dad? Do you even know for sure that he is your real Dad?  All of these CIA assholes screw around and hide what is happening and think it is part of their security pact with the government.  At least it's a heartfelt and sincere idea.  I mean, any kid who is the "child" of an official or former spy, or spy, should seriously make it a priority to find out what the DNA is before it is too late.  That is not to say blood=blood is a + because some blood will murder their own to get ahead.  When the U.S. has used programming tactics against a kid their entire life, you have no idea how "bonded" they want slaves to be to the 'Stockholm Syndrome', maybe because they imagine their little 'model' is going to help them entire countries to be bonded to them in the same way.
Such horrific damage for those who bring that idea up.  So where were you and your Mom when your Dad was taken into jail?  Stockholm, right? Do you think maybe your Dad wanted you to meet him there for a reason? 
E.H. says from the first time he set foot in Kiev he had been obsessed with his own problems but here he saw millions who had lost loved ones who had to carry on.  In one sense, he is saying, here, he watched how the survivors went on.  In Kiev, "Mother Russia" which is sort of a contrast to the idea he is a father who took drastic steps to protect himself and those he loved.  He says life produces hard times for all and we must learn to cope and that John Donne says "no man is an island, entire of itself".  I think of this because I remember a slightly different saying from my own Dad, that if you are an island, you are a rock.  Or actually, that's not right.  My Dad said this, that no man is an island and I said I might find my own. Robin Becthold, a government-employed rapist said "I am a rock" and tried to dispute what I said to him once.    So basically, what my Dad said to me was no man is an island, and that people are important.  Robin's perspective was he is a rock and needs no one while raping others and committing crimes.  However, this is something Robert Guy Garrett Jr. said and I am not sure he is my biological Dad and if E.H. is, why would E.H. bring this up here?  I think it's obvious Bechtold tried to bring E.H. down.  It's possible Robin Bechtold and my family worked together, with others, to kill me, and cause harm to E.H. when I didn't even know I was related to him.
He says they returned from Kiev, met Sasha, and they joked about escapades.  At his dacha Larisa made a huge mistake of referring to the place as "our home" and this ended the relationship because he already had a wife, and he'd noticed her attractive propositions for sex, and indulged, but this made him uncomfortable because he wasn't looking for a new "home", or someone assuming they had a home together when he had his family so he called it off and asked Sasha to have someone else give her language lessons.  He thought it would be a tough winter without sex, but figured he wouldn't have to listen to giggling all the time either.
I think his mention of "the best of times and the worst of times" matches Charles Dickens, who Janet Becthold was always bringing up.  He mentions two paraphrases very closely together: one I know from Robert Guy Garrett, Jr. and one I know from Janet Bechtold, which makes me think he wants to place them together for an understanding that they worked together.  He mentions these quotes about "hard times" and an "island" in context of being on Kiev soil (Mother Russia).
I know my Dad was showing Robin my panic reaction to crazy driving once.  It is one time I can think of how Robin and my Dad and Mom interacted and then he grabbed my hand while I was in the car and I thought, "that is something my parents do to check and see if I'm nervous" and then next-thing, he (Robin) was testing my panic response by running his car into the left side of my car. I thought then, "He's working with my Mom and Dad".  Not only that, I saw how George treated my Mom and then how Janet corralled it around to avenge herself and my Mom by sniping about my being homeless.  Janet, George, Robin, and presumably Nathan and Eliza were not just on the same team with my parents, they were on Middletons team.  They all had directives to try to kill me.
Another thing that was done was on one of the train trips, someone tried to push me off of the train, as I was going in between carts and was in a section outside for a moment.  I held on and pushed my way into the next cart and wouldn't go outside of one with my family again.  When I was being pushed over, it was from the left side again.  Also, when my family was trying to kill me in my house, my Mom held a gun with gloved hands and kept it pointed at me, my brother was asphyxiating me and my Dad was helping him.  When Herm banged on the window, my Mom was the one who got up and went to the door or he went to the front door too, and either got in himself with a key (the neighbors all had keys to our house) or my Mom let him in and he came to the bedroom door.  My Dad had come in to check on the job and it wasn't going fast enough so he tried.  I was being suffocated.  They weren't using a cord around my neck to choke me or something that left marks, they were forcing me down with a gun to then push on me and suffocate me.. 

I'm trying to think of someone who was "giggling" all the time, because there was someone, but I can't remember off-hand.  I do remember her constant giggling bothered me and I think it was possibly Sayoko or Katie Fallon and I'd have to think which.  I stayed over at both of their houses.  Stephanie made sort of an attempt to be the same way or giggle in a different way, but the giggling person wasn't her.  What is strange is that I remember, as a kid, hearing Stephanie laugh and sometimes she laughed normally but other times I could tell she was deliberately trying to imitate the other girl, and mix her up with herself and I thought, "Why is she wanting to take over the role of the other girl? as if she's the giggler?"  I could tell it was deliberate, and on that basis, Stephanie was 13 years old when she began attempting to play a game with me.  It's possible she only got small amounts of information at a time and didn't completely participate on assassination attempts until age 15, or didn't have knowledge until then, but she was definitely playing a game.

I think it was Alison Springer.  It was.  Alison is even close to "Larisa", but then Stephanie took over.  Basically, I had been playing with the older kids and connected to them best.  Tiffany and Kara were at least 2-3 years older than me and they were closer to the same play-level as I was so it's who I'd played with, and then Scott sometimes, who was my age, but he played with my brother more.  So when one day, all of a sudden, they were telling me I couldn't play with the older girls, I was told, "You can play with Allie".  She was even younger than my brother was and she wasn't anywhere near my play-level.  They said, "Allie looks up to you and needs a friend and you can teach her some things and play with her".  Basically, they didn't want me to have equals anymore, or play with kids at my level--I was suddenly supposed to be bored to death with Allie and be her babysitter-friend when she was way too young for me and not anyone I'd ever choose.  The way I saw it, as a kid, was that the Springers wanted to use me to benefit their kid but didn't want to do anything for me.  They also told me to play with their kid that was significantly younger, and who I would consider hardly past being "a baby" after they electrocuted my brains out so in another sense, it was like socially attempting to dumb me down.  They told me I could help Allie with her homework too.  If I had had other kids to play with, my age or older, and then Allie was thrown into the mix, that would have been one thing, but they deliberately tried to isolate me to playing with only one kid, and one who was well below my development stages and offered me nothing in return for what she got out of it.  I was really upset about it.  I was totally and completely blocked off from playing with any other kid, per Alan and Tammy's "orders".  And she giggled all the time, for no reason at all but I am not sure she was the "giggler" because that was another girl possibly.  I'll have to think about it.  I tried to play with Allie and never had fun.  She would put notes in my mailbox, and I would have enjoyed a kind of covert messaging system idea, but the notes were:  "I like you.  Allie"  How creative can you get with that?  It was always the same thing.

The Springers were looking for a 'relocation package' pretty much right after they'd illegally blasted my brains with electrocution for months.  They moved to a whole new state.

I was isolated to either playing with "Allie" who was even younger than my brother and not very inventive, who I didn't even want to play with, or to not play with anyone at all.  I said, after a couple of months with Allie, "I'll go without friends."  To me, it was a better option to not have to play with Allie and have zero playmates, than to play with her and be bored and annoyed all the time.  I was not given other alternatives.  It was "You either play with Allie or you don't get to play with anybody."  I cried, and said why couldn't I play with some other kids instead?  so when it came down to it, I said I wasn't interested in playing with her anymore and I was glad about my decision.  I wanted friends I could connect or relate to, so after Allie was removed, I wasn't allowed to play with anyone.  I never got to play with any kid--ever, and instead I read books and found my "friends" in books.  It wasn't what I wanted because I was very social, but given the choice between Allie and being alone, I chose to be alone.  Some of the other things she would do, aside from not saying very much besides "I like you" or "Will you play with me?" was she wanted to pretend she was my dog.  The only pretend-game she repeatedly wanted to play, was pretending she was my dog and I wasn't thrilled with a younger friend that wanted to play "puppy dog" and not talk normally, rather than panting and barking.  She even wanted to pretend she was on a leash and I was too old for pretend-dog games--at least it wasn't the play-level I was on at that time.  The Springers forced me to either play with her or no one, for over 1 year and they were out of there.  I wasn't allowed to have any friends to talk to until they thought they were securely out of Washington State and not going to be prosecuted because I talked to kids about what they were doing to me.  Alan Springer even said, and made a point of saying to me, his older girls were too old to play with me and I needed interaction with someone more "your level", and he was attempting to say that was his daughter who was 4-5 years younger than me. 

From the time of assaults and kidnapping on private planes, and being burned and cut on those planes, to the time of the Springers moving away, I was not allowed to play with anyone who was not part of the U.S. government.  I was especially isolated at the time of being electrocuted by Springers and the Fallons and Maiers attempts to train me to kill myself.

Most of the men who raped me later, were U.S. employees and connected to people, even their parents, from when I was a little girl.  If it is a fact I am the biological daughter of E.H., or they thought so, because of the amount of audio and video tape recording made of degrading me and torturing and raping me, it is most likely they would send it to E.H. and deliberately create distress to him or anyone else they thought it would harm, who the U.S. and Mossad would know were powerless to do anything, and most likely unable to do anything in part because of worse threats to kill or torture someone in their control and power, or because of government blackmail obtained with promises it was for a high purpose and good life, which was then used as extortion while breaking all promises to create misery instead.  Any attempt to drive someone to suicide by raping little kids or repeatedly torturing and terrorizing them, is conspiracy to commit acts  of hate crime because no one does this to perfectly qualified and intelligent little kids without hate as their motive.  If I am not E.H.'s kid and I'm not my Dad's kid, and am someone else's, or if I am and someone thought they'd do these things for other motives, it is possible the message about seeing me or writing again in March was either a directive to kill me from someone else, in a hit, or who knows.  See you in March when the ground thaws.  I remember hearing that expression:  "See you in March when the ground thaws".

If E.H. and my Grandpa Garrett were on my side, they might have found out all about some of the hate crime against me and just been murdered before they could say anything about it.  My being drugged and raped by Tancer, whose family has "Iron Horse" wines (which Stephanie is a fan of, having an interest in killing me and torturing me too), may have been the last straw.  I also believe one of the private planes I was on, where some of these things were occurring, had a Jewish doorway symbol.  The mezuzah.  That was how the conversation came up about Jews once, on a plane, with the group that pushed a bowl of cherries with stems on them to me.

I remembered parts of the conversation from someone who explained what it was to me, because decades later when I worked for Rabbi Rose, one day I said in the kitchen, "What does halaka? mean?" or "Halaka" and he said, "I don't know.  You mean hallah bread?" and I said, "No, it's some other word, like halaka or halah or something like that and it just came to mind and I was wondering what it means."  He said, "It means nothing". 

However, I just found "Halakha" connected to the mezuzah and I remembered when someone told me about the mezuzah when I was little, they mentioned the word "halakha" or where it was derived from and it means "to go" or "to walk".   I said to him, "It's close to my housemates name, 'Haleakala"but just a little bit different."  His stone-cold and irritated response was "I don't know.  It means nothing."

It must mean something, to get an entire Jewish community to support raping me and defaming me through the Jewish-owned Willamette Week.

It was the Diana woman who, when I saw doing this, I asked what it was about.  I thought she was picking up a key or something from the top of the doorframe, and later, at my house in Moses Lake, that is something my Dad did because he kept the key on top.  They had two, and removed one of them and then put another one at the door in a different position and my Mom was upset about it, maybe because of a comment made at the time.  One was above the doorframe horizontal and the other was vertical on the side and they put it on the left side.  If there wasn't 2, they just moved the one to the side.  I believe it was Diana who told me what the "blessing" was but I am not sure.  I know later my Mom said it and I would say it because I wanted to know.  I do remember something about a key though, and one time I think she got a very small plastic bag of something white that was there.  I possibly connected the "white powder" to later being in our car at home with talcum powder for sweaty hands, but she (Diana) was probably picking up cocaine.  It was not a large amount, just like maybe a few lines in a bag worth, and I remember my mother getting something that looked the same too, and they had the plastic bags inside brown paper lunch bags.  I saw maybe a golf ball-baseball size amount or a little less, in a plastic bag and then inside the brown bag.  I never saw huge amounts.  But they were all definitely into their coke.  My Mom was really surprised and flattered and happy when someone gave her that much cocaine one time, as a gift, and she tried to decline politely and they insisted she have it.  They were all getting off the plane like kids coming home from school with lunch bags.  Diana picked hers up every single time she was on the plane, when she got off, but I only remember seeing sort of a thin line of it, in a rolled bag, it was maybe about the diameter of a pencil and half as long.  Diana saw me see her when she got the cocaine the one time.  I saw her get it before anyone else but the last time we were there I think someone wanted to make it look like others, and my parents (maybe) were the ones getting big amounts.  I think she was tasting it too, before she would exit.

So basically, some of the people trying to kill me were Jewish.

When I saw Diana with the cocaine, and asked her about it, it became this huge effort to try to conceal she even had it and have it look like everyone just got a lot of powder for their sweaty hands.  Because everyone has sweaty "naps" and baby powder for their "sweaty hands" from their "naps".

With the mezuzah, I think it was Diana who first recited the blessing because I didn't know what a "king" was and I asked.  I said, "What's a king?"  I remember a lot of people heard me ask what a king was, and then later when they put a mezuzah and had it tilt "the wrong way" I remember someone feeling upset about it because they tilted it to the cockpit instead of to the main room.  Then my Mom was left holding the bag in Moses Lake until I asked about it and she looked depressed because it had been a parting gift and I never saw her use it--my Dad came home from "lunch" to pick it up and then must have dropped it off with someone.  From what I remember, it was Pamp Maiers or Alan Springer.  Actually, it might have been Larry, who he lunched with a lot and was a chaplain for police and a car saleman before that, and then there was Gary, whose name I always heard, and Ron and Don Anachre.

I have to wasn't a gun.  My Mom held a knife with gloved hands, while my brother was choking me and then my Dad came in and did the same.  It was a pocket knife.  I thought gun but I accidentally put that down when it was a knife and the other time, with a man at the door, it was a gun she held against me.

I think my Mom did use cocaine at some point, for a few reasons, and this would make her more sympathetic to Katie Middleton than to me in a minute, in my opinion.  I mean now, but back then, I think they'd decided I was going to talk too much. 

As to who was closest to the door when it was expected I'd go out of the plane, it wasn't my Dad.  It was the man I saw my Mom "napping" with, who suddenly had a British accent when he was saying "That's the Queen".  My longest memories were of a Mike with a British accent but then I don't remember it being distinct unless contrasted with the accents of others.  He looked exactly the way Mike Middleton would have looked at that time.  He was also about the same height as my Dad, not a super-tall man, and same approximate size.  He would look like something between Bruce from Immigration in Canada, Mike Middleton younger, and Forrest Tancer younger.  He had a quick, to the point manner of speech and never made small-talk.  He was mostly quiet and then when he said something it was with a serious intensity and he didn't joke much. 

The man lying down on the bed next to the blond, who possibly looked like my Mom or Diana from the back, when he wasn't Mike, looked more like my Dad or another man similar to him.  They all left a cocaine plane with some Jewish mezuzah on the doorframe and they tried to kill me, so I would assume if the owner of the plane had a mezuzah, it was a mostly Jewish crowd.  That was the one I knew Diana from, with the whole "Thomas Crowne Affair" spectacles.  At one of the houses or on one of the planes, there was a queen or king-size waterbed.  My grandparents had a waterbed downstairs, but this was a different one and I had one too, or my parents did, until it sprang a leak in my bedroom.  I wanted one to have it like the people I knew from the planes.  Then my brother got a waterbed years later and never had a problem with it.

pg. 135  E.H. says the double defection of Vitaly Yurchenko complicated his life because he fingered him as "Robert" and also his re-defection back to the Soviet, resulted in clampdowns on his freedom of movement.

He says the Western press reported Yurchenkos defection and Yurchenko claimed he had taken refuge in the Soviet embassy in Washington, not because he defected but had been kidnapped by CIA agents in Rome.  He says by December 1985 a guard or at least 2 of them wouldn't let him use the restaurant without being next to him.  He went for dinner in Moscow at the Peking restaurant and excused himself to the toilet and was surrounded. 

I know that when I was held hostage in my bedroom, my Mom was getting upset I said I wanted to go, because I made it clear I didn't care to be in the room with her after she'd electrocuted me with Springers and tried to kill me with my family more than once.  She worried the bond was gone and then they used mental illness or problems and their contacts with Springers to imply something was wrong with me.  If the bond was gone, they were all worried I'd make my report more public and all of them would be in jail.  So it was constant brainwashing and I was held hostage and then not allowed to have any visitors or see anyone besides "Allie" for over a year.  I do remember they acted relieved when I said I'd rather not see her then.  I wasn't allowed to leave my bedroom without my Mom and a guard standing by my door, and sometimes another woman in the bathroom with me.  I was forced to leave the door open.

He says on Christmas 1985, they got a tree and he got two framed and enlarged photos of his wife and son, and they borrowed the wallet-sized ones and had them copied, framed, and enlarged, all in a day.  He says "I was deeply touched by this gift.  My eyes moistened."  He says after the team left he looked out from his garden room onto the snow and prayed.

I remember asking my Mom for photos of the family because she had taken all of the photos down from the whole house.  I said I wanted it framed and something to put in my room.  So she enlarged a wallet-size, and made it digital and put the piece of paper in a frame.  I said "It's just me and Levi" and she said that's what I could have for then.  So I got a picture of me and Levi where I am holding him, and framed, and found out she did it in a day.  What hurt my feelings was that she didn't even give me a real photo enlargement and it was only of me and my brother.  She's told me she wouldn't make one of herself and my Dad but would of me and my brother.  So then I went to my room which looked out over the garden and watched the snow.

He says he spent New Years alone, drinking champagne and listening to jazz.  He wandered out to the guard's shack to have cigars with them.

I remember I spent the whole day by myself, and all I did was drink something and listen to music all day and night.  I played all kinds of music, and that was what I did, the entire day.  Then I wandered out to the living room where guards were, and got some Christmas cookies and then I took them back to my bedroom to eat them.

E.H. says it became endless snow and reading by the fireplace and skiing at day and he became depressed and drank too much, so Sasha suggested he go to Soviet Georgia where it was warmer in the south.

I am not sure what the emphasis might be with George, Georgian, or Georgetown but he mentions Georgia and then in the next chapter "Moscow Station" and for me, I got Curious George books when I was a kid, and then I remember a song like this being played from a tape, that was either sent to me or my Dad wanted me to hear and it was an anthem with crashing cymbals like this.  My Dad joked it was perfect for spanking to, or hitting with a belt to.  He said it sounded like the spanking song, as in, every time a cymbal crashed, it was a spank.  The other connotation would be that the ring I was given by Grandma Connie may be connected to a woman with the name Gergun.  Gergun is an approximation of George and sometimes "Jordan" and with Gergun, the woman's name in the family who was related to Grandma Connie by marriage was Anna Gergun.  I am pretty sure I got spanked in time to the national anthem of Soviet Georgia at least once.  I personally have no connection to Georgia and I guess going where it was warmer, if not by the fireplace, would have been the kitchen.  When I look up the Georgian anthem however, it does mention how Lenin's words or any reference to Lenin was erased by Nikita and replaced in a "de-stalinization" effort (censorship).  He might be making reference to this because in this chapter he mentions what kinds of files and his wife had access to, and they are files which would be subject to "censorship" by the CIA and others.

He says the first was the weekly surveillance reports, about who saw Soviet surveillance teams, where and when.  The next was a file for reports on non-sensitive ongoing projects such as "radiation measurements picked up by our station officers as they drove to Soviet scientific institutes.

My comments would be that the flag of Georgia looks like the red heat lamp I used to sit next to to stay warm (in the shed) and I would read out there sometimes and sometimes just try to stay warm.  It would go with the idea of radiation measurements because I was being tortured with technology as a kid, even if I didn't know what it was.  I would also think probably someone tried to alter what they reported or wrote about me to make a sensitive project not look sensitive or attributed to who it was attributed.  Based on the level of extreme torture I suffered, the best bet for the U.S. CIA would have been to write or keep a file for a woman in "Russia" or "Africa" or "China" or someplace in the middle of torture and genocide conflicts, and lie and claim the file was about "this girl over there" when really, the "girl" was right here, in the U.S.

pg. 139.  Mary tells him she's pregnant and he asks for a week's leave before more language training to prepare for parenthood.  He says, pg. 140, that the "Farm" has claimed he "rolled up" or exposed CIA assets in Russia and that his information caused the death of CIA spy Adolf G. Tolkachev and other spies.  E.H. says he has told the truth for 9 years, that he gave no information and he was not even given access to information alleged to have been discovered, due to the compartmentalization of files.

Here, I would say, I remember the Diana woman got pregnant.  I think one of the Dicksies (twins or triplets) also became pregnant or helped another couple become pregnant, and the only "rolled up" secret info I really saw, was cocaine rolled into a bag.  If I have to think of other "rolled up" ideas, it might be rolling around on Fallons floor with Katie Fallon in our sleeping bags, pretending to be "Templeton" from Charlottes Web, or doing log rolls down the hills for the State Park that was directly across the street from Moses Lake station for State Police (and Pamp Maiers was a logger and got federal contracts and his daughter was trying to kill me), or maybe the idea that "rolling" is part of some U.S. Army theme or slogan, ..I don't know.  I rolled up my own hair in curlers by age 6; I had roller skates and loved them; I rolled up parchment paper from birch trees outside after writing notes on them; I remember steam rollers with one rolling over my foot (really--they were laying down cement and rolled on my foot--and the man behind the wheel was Pamp Maiers and I still remember his evil smirk at me when he did it, to show me he knew what he was doing.  I was so scared, that later, when a horse stepped on my foot, I was afraid of the horse); I remember a car tire rolling onto my foot as well; I remember movie film slide screen being rolled and unrolled for the film projector at my house; I remember putting a tube into a man's throat for a "tracheotomy" (when I was very little);...

Um, back to the cement roller.  Do you know what Pamp Maiers did?  After he rolled a cement roller over my foot, telling my Dad to hold me in place, my own Dad then tried and succeeded at rolling over my foot again in the car, as a cover for Maiers and any damage he could have done which may have shown up on a hospital x-ray.  I said I was going to tell the "cops" and guess what?  The "cops" were Annette Sandberg, who got a job with Moses Lake police (who were in on wanting to see nudie kid pics of me from the Maiers' slide), who got a job with the Department of Transportation that gives contracts to the Maiers and Sellens.)  I guess Lenin sounds close to Sellen and Barbara Maiers married Sellen first, divorced him, and then married Pamp Maiers and I was told if I wanted to stay warm, go over to the Maiers house.

Allie and the Springers were gone and I was freezing cold at my house.  I finally was happy enough to go to the shed to the red heat lamp and sit there and think about things, but when my Dad broke the lamp, he told me the Maiers had invited me over and I should go there if I wanted to be "warm".

So this was after Pamp Maiers possibly broke my foot with a steam roller.  Which puts into perspective, the whole UK joke about Prince William possibly getting run over by a street sweeper machine when he slept outside in his blue sleeping bag as "one of the homeless".

Not exactly homeless now Crack King!  Middleton's Mafia will keep an eye on you and make sure you don't get a bad fix, now that you're staying warm next to Katie's milk duds.  Maybe they even cracked his skull open first, the way Maiers crushed my foot, and then figure all is forgotten and now ring 'em in.

So anyway, yes, I had my foot deliberately crushed by a steam roller driven by Pamp Maiers who mocked me when he did it and then several years passed, and I was a kid getting electro-fried by Springers and hypnotized, and then one day, I went from having zero friends, absent Allie, to being set up with a house so frigid and cold I was driven into the Hamburger Helper Stephanie Maiers's bosom.

Then guess what Stephanie wanted to play while taking me with her on a construction job?  Steamroller by James Taylor.

So then, flash forward and who wanted to break my hand to cover up my hand being broken in front of Europeans, a cop, and my Grandpa Garrett?  Of course, the cops in Knoxville, TN in 2011.

Guess what.  I was electrocuted that badly, after I said I was going to call cops on the man (Maiers) who rolled a cement roller over my feet "on purpose".  So Maiers had Springers, my parents, and others electrocute me and then he figured I didn't remember enough anymore, and come on over and "stay warm" at his house with his criminal daughter Stephanie, who was fully prepared to have me kill myself, rather than her Daddy-Money-Maker going to jail.  What would Stephanie do without Money-Maker and her Nordstroms?

So my Dad had a James Taylor tape around this time and was playing it and Stephanies favorite song, on the same tape, which she played and re-played all the time for me was "Georgia".

It wasn't John Sellen.  I may have had run-ins with him too, I'm sure, who knows, but the man with the cement roller was Pamp Maiers and I was literally held in place for the torture.  Can I have a pair of...I don't know, Josh Gatov, their fucking employee, recommended "flip flops" didn't he?  My Dad said, after it happened, "Now you have flippers".  Pamp Maiers looked back as he did it.  He rolled it backwards on my foot and looked over his shoulder at me as he did it, grinning and scowling with hate at the same time, and I screamed.  My Dad was holding me in place so I couldn't run.

So then later when I was forced to work for Del Balzos, they had their daughter watching "Flipper" (the original one), and "Free Willy".

I am pretty sure after I was tortured, they thought I was getting killed for good, with an official hit by my family.  Then all of a sudden, the radars up, and my talking at church after surviving, they wanted to pretend they were 'friends'.  Rich friends.  I didn't notice the money really, as a kid then, but looking back, I can see how it was used to an advantage in making it appear they were just nice people with money whose daughter became best friends with me.  They were trying to murder me.

Other forms of "rolling up"...rolling pin; being pushed into the ground by men, including my Dad who would "pin me" and then put all their weight on me, saying, "push".  Which is really bizarre when you note the symbolism of the French resistance (la push).

So when you realize I have been held hostage in the U.S., by the CIA and Army, and then my son as well, and abused, tortured, and repeatedly raped, you have to ask "Why would the CIA go to "incredible lengths" to find Adolf Georgief Tolkachev's son and give MONEY to him, but torture me and my son?"

I think it means every person I've been living with is a Middleton spy, a U.S. spy, a Mossad recuit, and a fucker. 

The U.S. CIA has "time" to track down Soviet kids whose parents were traitors to their country, but the CIA doesn't have "time" to compensate U.S. citizens who are innocent, for crimes against humanity.  I hope they are all bombed to the ground.  That is what "Georgia" and this fucking "Prince" "George" Middleton-Ho are about.

So basically, the CIA and Army send the message of rewarding traitors from other countries and their kids, but they punish innocent U.S. citizen kids and torture them out of nothing more than allegations when the kids are not even spies.  So Adolf Tolkachev's son wasn't punished because of "careful compartmentalization" but I was and my son is being tortured, which means the U.S. is nothing more than a dead country waiting for a takeover.  I mean, excepting some of the decent U.S. people who live here, I think even they would agree, there is nothing to cheer for in this country.

I also noticed how the acronym for George Alexander Louis is "GAL" when Charles Gaule was in charge of the French resistance, which was a movement made by Jews primarily.  It stands out to me, when I know Katie and her not-"prince" were involved with men who raped me and forced me down saying "push" and then my son being tortured at birth by a cop's wife, which also has bearing on the fact Alvaro Pardo worked for them and claimed he wanted to go to "france" and Lorraine Rose, a Rabbi's wife, always made some comment about my French-braiding my hair and then my parents having French vanilla ice cream as they were stealing my jewelry to send it to Katie Middleton.  How would she like to have a masonry tool pushed into her back over boiling grease? or an iron?  How would she like to be pushed off the road dozens of times?  pushed down to be raped?  and people attempting to push her from planes and helicopters?  how would she like to be pushed down and smothered to die of asphyxiation?  How would that Jew like to die?  

I hope that there arises a defector worse than any in the history of the U.S., who exposes every single crime committed against me and my son and the technology used and I hope he or she names every single person involved. 

E.H. says he did not have access to the names of spies.  He says he saw an occasional encrypted code name like  JKHarry, for example, but spies names would go into a black envelope, and into a safe, and no one was allowed to see it without director permission.  He was never given that permission and says he had no idea what was in it.

My comment here is about JKHarry and the black envelope.  To me, there is either Henry (Harry) on my mother's side who either was really Catholic or a Jew who came to the U.S. posing as a Catholic, and my Grandpa Garrett's comment about "red herrings".  I used to write JK for "just kidding" on letters and notes.  Or I would say it out loud, "I'm just kidding!"  Said all at once, it sounds like Jah-Kherry.  Which is sort of close to John Kerry, interestingly enough, given the fact his son-in-law pranced about with Mike Tancer of proud-torturers-dig-for "iron horse".  I would also think "Just kidding Harry".  Just kidding Harry is sort of like "red herring" in the sense that a red herring is a cover for the real thing. 

Pg. 141 E.H. mentions a lot about safes.  He also mentions another name, after JKHarry (for a codename example) as John Smith and in context with my grandfather I might think Pocohontas.

I just looked at Gary Middleton's photos, out of curiosity because something kept bothering me.  Around the time cocaine was going back and forth on a private plane, I am pretty sure my Dad said he was meeting "Gary", not "Larry".  My mother later worked for a "Gary Mann" in real estate, but I also wanted to look at his photo because I think I've seen him at our house in Moses Lake.  The reason I wanted another look is because I once saw Gary Middleton's photo and thought he looked familiar.  I never piped up, so all that "drug industry" business went away and Katie found herself thinking nothing would ever catch up with her shit-faced family.

However, I remember mention of "Gary" and it was surrounding cocaine.  This was in the 1980s, and I lived in Moses Lake, WA and of course, I saw this note from Katie from London on the counter once as well.

Well one day a man came to the house, supposedly to work on something.  Handyman.  I still remember his build and face and head enough, as well as the fact that I offered him something to drink.  I offered everyone something to drink:  water, juice, pop--whoever came to the house to work on something or meet with someone, if I saw them, as a kid I would always say, "Hi, could I get you something to drink?"

Must have been my "flight school training" by the bitch Carol.

So one day, this man came to the house to work on something and my Dad came out from by the shed as I was leaving the house and on the patio asking him if I could get him something to drink and my Dad looked at me and shook his head like "NOoo" and the expression I read was "Get away.  This is a very dangerous man, and it is degrading for you to offer to serve him anything."

He was more than "slightly" interested in me, and kept staring and adjudicating how far gone I was, because he came to the house after I had my brains blasted out by the Springers with electrocution.

His face, build, head, expression, and height, from photos looks identical to the man who was at the house and sizing me up.  The "handyman".  He was partly bald, balding, or had his hair cut down to a bald buzz or shaved off, at that time, which was mid-late 80s.  From what I see now, he's older and might be bald from age, and maybe wasn't bald at that time, and if so, if he had hair then, then I have the wrong man.  I mean, if he had hair on the top of his head, and didn't shave it or anything, it's maybe the wrong person.  But from what I can tell, he is the man I saw at our house.

I remember when the news first came out too, and at that time, I had no idea who they were.  I hadn't heard of, or remembered the "Middletons" as being anything important or newsworthy but I remember all these people around me, trying to judge my reaction when the news about Gary Middleton was out, that he was a drug dealer and Katie and William visited him at his house for a week.

He's more than a "drug dealer".  He is involved in torture of kids, including me.  Not only that, it means since he showed up when he did, as a cocaine dealer, having seen what I saw on some of those planes, he was part of the cocaine industry that tried to get close to Diana.

Why my Dad had the reaction he did I'm actually not even sure.  At that time, as a kid, I thought "What's the big deal? he knows I offer all of these guys something to drink".  The man told me his name was "Gary".  I introduced myself.  I assumed he was a  local person but he didn't say hardly anything except his name and in an accent but then he would not say one other word.  The reason I don't know why my Dad acted the way he did, is because at the time I thought he felt it was degrading, or this was a bad man and I shouldn't offer him anything.  However, that may have been the case, easily enough, and I did know he was there to see how blasted out my brains were, by the way he looked at me and smirked--it was intuitive--I knew he knew and was involved and was there to "check up" on the results.  But either my Dad was concerned for my safety, OR, as a Middleton conspirator and party to attempting to kill me, he was freaking out that I got that close to him, saw him, heard his name, and could use it against him in the future.

I have no reason to make this up.  If I had wanted to lie about anyone or anything, I sure could have done it earlier, as part of an arsenal, or to try to stop someone in their tracks, or out of misery while being tortured.  I have nothing to lose and nothing to gain by divulging this information and in fact, it either harms or helps my relationship and history with my own parents, or not. 

If I wanted to protect anyone, it would be my family, but I've disclosed things because they are true and because I and my son have not been safe in this conspiring country, and we are not safe now either. 

Have you seen Gary Middleton's proud tattoos?  Believe me, we met, and I remember the day.

I didn't see him on the planes, or at least I do not remember seeing him on the planes.  I saw him at our house in Moses Lake, Washington.  After I met him, my Mom was suddenly bringing up the name "Gary Mann" as a cover or to confuse Gary's.  And then, funny enough, and coindentally, Tim Henderson who is bald and slightly has some vague resemblance, decided to date and marry Monica Allen who I've realized worked for the U.S. government through a recruitment.

Okay, so the weird part is, where Middletons based their "Party Pieces" idea on decorated bags to throw presents into, instead of gift-wrapping, I was on their planes, given barf bags when I threw up because they tortured me, and picking up all their trash on the last day, and then finally, seeing the "brown paper sack exit" with the cocaine loads.  I was also tied up with rope, and pushed under the desk board of the cockpit, to lie next to a man's feet as he fed me a "tic-tac" one by one, or, I remember mostly, reeces pieces one by one.  I was starving and treated like a dog and accepting a reeces pieces one at a time.

When Gary Middleton came to my house, it was after massive electrocution efforts at the Springers, and it was also after Pamp Maiers had rolled over my feet with a cement roller while I was held in place.

I said something about getting him a drink, which was not at all out of the ordinary for me.  My instincts were based on 3 things:  1. hospitality, 2. Jesus said if you give the least of these a glass of water, you do it as unto me, and 3. flight stewardess observances of what they did.  I had once offered them their choice of drink, and then when I was told not to do that, I tried to offer at least water.

Afterall, even the Fallons couldn't offer me anything while Katie stood there eating ice cream in front of me while they knew I was starving.  I wasn't like "Katie".

He did accept a drink.  Gary Middleton did.  On my property, next to my house, he accepted a drink from me and he was there to see if the "job" was being done or not.  For whom?  Katie-Fucking-Middleton.

First of all, I wasn't even her "competition".  I didn't know who "William" was and so what, if I had known, I wouldn't have cared.  But possibly, they felt I was her competition if they imagined Charles ever had anything to do with me, or possibly, they did feel there was some other "threat" because why try to "throw mama from the plane?"  My own family was trying to kill me over that bitch.

So basically, any "wise man" or woman can line it up.  Look at all of the "pearls" I was forced to suck up to on that woman's "necklace" or chain of criminals.  My parents were a contact, Gary Middleton was at my house, I saw cocaine, CIA and Army were involved along with some Canadian and UK royals, a Jewish plane, Maiers, Fallons, Springers, Bechtolds, Adams, Smith...this list goes on...Tancer, Goodriches, Tracy and Scott Caldwell, Gatov, Rose-Lewises,  Helen and Jonathan, Bujanda and Garza, Mike Nichols...

These people were fucking Kate Middleton die-hards who were willing to kill me and torture me just to dumb me down.  And honestly, if William was that much younger and never on my radar, why would they ever be worried about me? 

I wanted to think back about the phone call that I picked up by "mistake" and who it implicated in trying to kill me by suffocation.  There were "events"--the actual call and then a planned call later, to cover or try to cover for the original call.

Also, Barbara Maiers did not say "Oh shit" though she used that expression often. She said, "Oh my God."  I wrote she said oh shit or something but I wasn't writing with the most attention at that moment.

Basically, it was my Mom and Dad's call to someone and it sounded like a call about a hit, on me.  I was not around in the room to hear it but by a corner and listening in and as soon as I could, I went to the phone and pressed "redial" to see who they had been talking to. 

They kept saying, "You dialed the wrong number" and I said, "No I didn't.  I didn't dial a number.  I pressed redial."  They kept trying to say I had just called a number by accident but I didn't.  Then my Mom was trying to say someone else called after but no one had.  I knew to get the right number, I had to press redial right after the call or another call would be the one for redial next.  I had gone to the phone, without a moment to spare.

I will write out the exact order of events a little later, but it was involving both Barbara Maiers (when I wasn't even friends with Stephanie at that time) and my Grandpa Garrett.

The problem is that this is all involving my parents, my brother, Gary Middleton, Maiers, some "European men" at my Grandpa's cabin, "Mike", Springers, a woman who was probably Lady Diana, Fallons, and others.

It seemed to me like the Maiers and European people and "Mike" or the cop, wanted to get some kind of security and distance from putting a hit on me so they used my Grandpa Garrett, who was probably involved as well, but they wanted to pin the whole thing on him.

I remember saying I could put the Maiers in jail because of what I'd overheard and knew.  This is after my family tried to suffocate me.  So my Dad took me to their construction site and held me in place as Pamp rolled a cement roller over my feet and they said they would do that to my whole body and bury me under the cement if I didn't keep my mouth shut.

It involved both John Sellen and Pamp Maiers, both men who were married to Barbara Maiers as well because in one of the calls he asked if the job was done and Barbara was heard in the background saying "John, what...--" and then "Oh my God" and the phone disconnected.  The person who ran over my foot was Pamp Maiers.  Around that time, my parents may have worked for them, aside from other kinds of "jobs" because they were always mixing cement and had a supply of it and I think they did some masonry or brick-laying along with cement work.

I had a thought about the lipstick case Stephanie gave me and it had brackets on either side, top and bottom, that were like the ones my arms were restrained in at the Wenatchee or Cashmere dojo when I was 4 years old.  It is possible the symbolism of giving it was a reminder to my Mom of when I was held down in those restraints and raped, and then there was no lipstick in the case, just the case and a painting of a woman sitting on a bench with 2-3 men sitting around her feet on either side.

When I saw the man who said his name was Gary I did ask him why he had a tattoo on his arm with my initials.  He said it meant "God is dead" or possibly he said "Christ is King; God is dead".  When I told my Dad this he broke the red heat lamp I had and kept getting furious that I remembered anything about him and my Mom didn't like it either but I told her what "that man named Gary said".  What I also remember was that when I went outside to see who it was, I had gone outside to blow bubbles.  So I stood there on the patio blowing bubbles with a wand and he looked over at me and smirked.  I can't remember why I was blowing bubbles--if my Dad told me to before going outside or if it was all my own idea but I did.  So I stood out there blowing bubbles and I had thought my Dad left to get a "Philips' screwdriver" but I was standing there when he came out of the shed and he had a weird look on his face and either had the screwdriver or a brown paper sack or both, because I remember something about all of those items.  And they had the saw-horse out for some reason, on the patio next to our driveway.  I know my Dad was upset or worried when I asked what the tattoo meant.  I knew, as a kid, that man was somehow involved in one of the hits against me, because of the timing of his arrival and I would have to think more about when it was, before and after what "event" but I had thought maybe someone was paying someone.

The exchange I saw with them was oddly like the one between Robin Bechtold and my brother at the end of our long driveway later, in Sherwood, Oregon.

I could be wrong about what he said about the meaning of the tattoo but at some point that was what I heard, by someone.  I know Robin Bechtold specifically said this phrase and made comments about it, and I thought when he did, "Why is trying to refer back to a man from my pre-teen years who I have never told him about?"

CG.  My initials with the G upside down.  Also, initials for Charles Gaule from the "French resistance".  Ah..or it could be for his "MOM".  Carol Goldsmith.

Ka-ching.  I thought he was looking at me like he was happy to see me looking stupid and air-headed, blowing bubbles and nothing else, after being electrocuted. 

Okay, I remember it now.  The whole God is dead thing and changing a meaning was from Robin Bechtold.  What Gary told me, when I asked him what it stood for, was his "mom" and then when I said,"What's her name?" he said "Carol" and I said, "Can I get you something to drink?"  I had subconsciously remembered her from one of the planes and when he said the name Carol I was offering drink options like a flight attendant.  I know I always offered drinks starting with orange juice.  "We have orange juice, soda, beer, water"...

My Dad actually had some German beers in the can when I was very young but quit drinking.  I think I had absinthe at Granny's house but maybe my parent's house too, when I was little.  It is sort of strange to think about it, because most of my life I just remember my parents as teetollars, and having nothing in the house but a 1/2 bottle of vermouth in the fridge, but they did drink socially and at the house on occasion when I was younger.  My Dad blamed breaking my leg with a golf club on being drunk and told me he quit after that.  I don't really remember he was actually drunk when he did it.  His beers were in cans, I think Bud Light and a tan colored can for a German beer.  He liked the German beer best.  So when I offered an assortment of drinks, ticking off the options with a finger to the fingers on my other hand, it started to bother my parents and then I was told to just offer water if they wanted something.  They used to ask, "What kind of pop do you have?" and I would go through the list.  I never just said the options.  I always held up my right hand and tapped on each finger as I would list the options with my left forefinger.  Since I never counted my numbers that way, I think it is a style or manner I must have picked up or remembered from a stewardess on one of the planes.  I don't believe that is what I did originally but then I remember someone teaching me to do it that way so I did.

My Dad tortured me in front of Gary Middleton.  Gary took part, but he looked uncomfortable at one point, maybe questioning or wondering if something was an "act" or not.  I don't know.  They both took me into my bedroom and tortured and abused me.  I ended up with huge bruises on my arms and mostly legs from it, a ton of bruises and bad ones.  When I dared mention the bruises and being burned by them and some others in the past, my Dad took the red heat lamp I sat by for warmth and used it to burn my legs.  He yelled and said you think you want to talk about bruises? and burns?  and he tortured me again with the heat lamp telling me to shut up.  After he burned me with it, he broke it.

They both sexually abused me and tortured me.  They laid on top of me to crush me, with my legs apart and putting things inside of me and touching me and then they took out the box and I was electrocuted while being chained to the bed.  While I was laid on top of, my Dad said to me, in my face, "Push".  Gary was mostly interested in my being electrocuted after being abused, and in knowing, I guess, the box was being used.  I actually think it is possible it showed up with him when he came to our house but I'm not sure and would have to think if I first saw it at my house with Springers, Fallon, Grandpa Garrett, or Middleton and I think maybe one was slightly different from another one but usually it was the same thing.  After I was electrocuted was when they said out loud, "God is dead".  I don't know what the symbolic meaning was. Maybe it was that this was the signal for the all-out hit to murder me or maybe it was that "Garrett is dead" or I was as good as brain-dead.  I also think, if Arabs and some PLO or middle-east people ever had an interest in me, when they say "God is great" maybe saying "God is dead" was a weird way of just saying they were triumphing over me. 

I had most of the bruising on my legs, on my thighs and insides of my thighs.  When they said "God is dead", because they were torturing me, I thought "Are they calling me God?" 

He was first outside and then was inside the house and my Dad let him go with me to my bedroom alone and I thought he just wanted to see my room or talk to me about something.  Instead, he tried to force me to do a sexual act for him and when I moved away from him, he grabbed me from the side and punched me repeatedly and beat me and then my Dad went in and they strapped me down and electrocuted me.  My bed was, at that time, facing sort of East with my pillow on the East side, up against the wall that had a window which looked out into the garden.  If my pillow was East of me, and where I sat on my bed, showing him pictures, he sat West of me, to my left.  He hardly said anything and the most I remember is his telling me his name and who his tattoo stood for.  Maybe he didn't say "Mom" but he said "Carol".  I had also thought maybe it was a hat he wore that had my initials on it but I think it was a tattoo because then after that, I was getting tattoos you lick on from a school friend and got some for my brother.  Granny sent us some.

Something I think is odd is that the Middletons and royal family chose "This is your Song" by Eliot Golding, when I had had a song written about me, described as "in the image of God".  Before my Dad played it he would say, "This is your song".  So here was Gary Middleton and my Dad, beating me up, sexually abusing me, and electrocuting me, and then saying "God is dead" and a little over a decade later, they're all celebrating with a Golding song.  Also, it looks like, from a photo, Gary got additional tattoos or one day had temporaries, of bubbles bursting on his arm.

Later, the only photos Stephanie Maiers allowed me to take of her were of her blowing bubbles with bubblegum and she said, "Wait, let me get some gum first".

As for other random things I remember, I know I was in a fire station tower for awhile.  My Grandpa Garrett was a fire ranger who had a tower in the woods.  It was full of stereo technology, lights, and equipment.  I will go back to that in  a moment.  My Grandpa was there but then my Dad was showing up and I wondered why he was there and where everyone else was and he said we were just taking a vacation.  So in the fire tower, I learned about stereos more, and I do remember at one point he made some emergency calls out.  He talked about radiation and said there was radiation and I was told I was being radiated with some kind of technology.  So then some U.S. military top person got on and sent the message to follow orders.  Then there was a helicopter and someone told him to come out and this entire time no one supposedly knew I was in the tower with my Dad.  My Dad said keep quiet and listen.  So I overheard a message from top officials from the military and then one from the White House by the then-President.  At that time I wondered why the White House would be calling my Dad, but then again, why had I been exposed to George Bush's genitals on a private plane either?  He wasn't the President then, but his Dad was in the CIA.  When my Dad was forced to leave, I stayed there by myself, not making noise for a long time.  A week or so, maybe more.  I got very hot up there and some of it may have been technology.  There was a fan blowing and that was about it.  Then when I made noise or tried to say something, my Dad, or his twin, came in and hit me over the head with a cast iron skillet.  Maybe I was only there a few weeks, but it felt like I'd been there the whole summer.  There's more to it than that, but from how I heard it, it was a hostage situation and the U.S. refused to do anything about it and the orders were coming from military and White House, to a fire tower in the middle of the woods in Idaho.  It was actually George Bush.  Some mention was made of the White House, but I do remember the man identifying himself.

Another attempt to murder me was made inside a lighthouse.  It was some kind of lighthouse tower that was extremely high up, and had a staircase that ascended up several stories high, with a dead drop.  By this I mean, there was enough space around to free-fall to your death on the cement below if you fell or were pushed over.  I was "hiking" with my parents and Sandbergs and was pushed over deliberately and I actually fell but caught an iron rung to something and swung around.  First they kept trying to kick and push me off, but the first attempt was a surprise attempt and then I was screaming "Help!  help!" and I fell over and swung myself over to the landing on a story landing beneath, next to it, to the shock of all.  It wasn't like they dropped me over a ledge, figuring I'd land on the platform below, because it was off to the side.  I had to grab something and swing over on my own and when I got to the landing, I started running on the stairs as fast as I could to get away from them.  I ran faster than I ever had, down the stairs, and out the door and I wouldn't go back in.  Once outside I thought "Ha.  Now I'm out in the open and anyone will see if they try to murder me again."

Attempts of being murdered by my own family and certain others, were constant, especially during times of heighted hate or concern I was going to tell the world and their schemes would be discovered. 

No one held my hand or pulled me up when they pushed me from the stair well.  I almost died, and the only reason I didn't, was because I randomly caught a bar and swang my body over to a landing.  It was pretty much miraculous.  It wasn't a joke or a test.  None of them looked happy that I was alive.  From the way the staircase was, it was like, if you went over the edge, it was this huge long drop and the staircase was out of the way so it was not automatic you would land on anything.  What would be automatic was death.  I somehow reacted quickly enough to reach out for a bar and swung my entire body over and then I ran when I hit the landing.  I got up and ran.  When I was outside of the tower, Sandbergs were there and some new "onlookers" or tourists were also there and I said, "I'm not going in there again; they just tried to kill me."  I said it out loud thinking the new people would hear and then others would know and I'd be safer.  What I noticed, from some of the expressions, was they were disappointed I had come out alive, like they were just there to see the job had been done.  There was a blond woman with a white hat on, like a full-brimmed sunhat, and she was there with a man apparently her husband, for one thing.

Between attempts to have me fall out of a private plane at high elevation and pushing me from tower stairs, it was very "important" that a "parachuting" excursion was planned next because then "falling" was "what you're supposed to do" and maybe someone would forget about it.

I just looked up and found where my spider from today is.  Holding onto a bar, and here's a photo:

The blond woman who was there looked like Sharon, Barb Maiers friend, or sort of along the lines of Valerie Plame.  Very blond, not super tall, and not shorter than my mother either, who is 5'3".  She looked so mean and upset I wasn't dead and running out of there, breathless, wide-eyed, exclaiming.  From what I remember, she may have had a British accent but I will think about it more later.  She was sort of cool and reserved and wearing more of a yuppie outfit for hiking--upper class in dress.  She looked disturbed to be "uncovered" as waiting in line to hear my death announced.  It was after this that I was taken to the fire tower.  When I got outside and saw them there, I had first listened a little around the corner in the tower and when I came out, it was Shirley, Annette, and this blond woman and man and possibly one other person.  Jim had been inside, assisting my Mom to kill me if I am correct, though I could think about it a little more, and I know my fingers were pried, one by one, from the rail so I fell.  It wasn't like, a quick push over the edge.  He stood on my fingers and pried them apart.  I heard something from talk outside about Russia, and "Valerie", and just a little more than that.  I might have listened longer but I was afraid to stay inside the tower.  The woman was wearing a kind of slightly sheer white blouse and khaki shorts and a hat.  There were maybe 2 couples and then Annette and Shirley.  One of the couples were Mike and Carol Middleton.  They looked extremely upset to see me, like their light and joyful mood had just gone sour.  I remember before I came around the corner, there was also talk about what a good trade it was and possibly mention of Katie.  The reason I sort of think there was mention of Katie is because when I then saw Mike and Carol I thought maybe they were trading me for Katie (their daughter from what I gathered) and tried to kill me over it.  I figured the disappointment was that I wasn't dead, paving the way for "corruption".  I also thought, however, there was some big business deal over Russia maybe, and I wondered why I was being killed over talk about Russia too.  Then in addition to the Middletons was a blond and another man.  I stayed there at the corner listening as long as I could but when I got up from the landing and ran, I could hear Jim behind me and I mean, they looked determined to murder me.

I know I wasn't supposed to hear the conversation at the bottom of the tower because they shut up right away, looked stunned, nervous and very wide-eyed with grim disbelief, and they wouldn't talk about any of it.  Someone asked the Middletons how old Katie was then, or something, to just make conversation and they looked gloomy like their future went down the dumps.  The talk about Russia came to an immediate halt.  I'll describe the other couple more later. 

So there were Twin Towers:  the lighthouse place and the fire station tower.  How about THAT.  And to think the U.S. is responsible for so much of this when all they had to do was allow me to have a normal life and that is what I expect now, with the return of my son as well.

I was a kid being tortured, abused, and held hostage and then one decade later, the Twin Towers in NYC got hit by planes.  Sort of ironic.

George, who Katie's kid is named after, certainly did the Middletons loads of favors.

I guess if the Pentagon wants me to be specific about what files and reports I'm requesting from them, regarding myself, they might look up phone calls made to a fire tower by George Bush.  And then keep telling everyone I'm crazy while you continue picking up the pieces from 9/11.

I was getting burned alive in the fire tower and I remember how sick I was and the U.S. just doesn't know when to quit.  When I was hearing the conversation from the military and George Bush (via White House--on that line), they kept saying "Stand Down".  Over and over, "Stand Down".

Also, there are a couple of things I am not sure about which I will confirm tomorrow but one is that possibly one of the  couples was Joy Sterling and Forest Tancer with mention of a baby, and I will think about context for the Middletons and why they came up,  and  another is that possibly it was my Grandpa that came back up to the tower but I don't think so but I'll think about it and remember, and the other thing is that I do know a private helicopter was used to fly the additional people there to await my death.  I was scared because I saw the helicopter, and  it was on top of this mountain on a small landing, near the tower, and I later thought, "Why would someone fly people in just to see me die?"  What were they going to do?  Pick up my body and fly me somewhere to dump me?  Any disappearance would be abnormal.  So I don't know, but it was a helicopter on top of the mountain off at a distance.  Also, it was either Annette or Shirley was possibly not there but I think Annette was there because I don't remember other times she was and it's possible she arrived by helicopter with the others.

When my Dad tried to radio for emergency help on a live, wide-ranging broadcast, his calls were cut off and that's when the White House and military call came in. 

At both of the towers, there were helicopters.  At the one where they tried to kill me, there was a helicopter that had arrived with people and I am sure they expected me to be dead.  Then at the fire tower, there was a helicopter at some point. 

When I was told not to open the door for any reason, to anyone, my Dad was taken there by some people who jumped him and there was a trap door beneath.  It was like an enormous tree house but a fire tower.  I kept it shut but then I heard kicking and screaming and he started to say to open the door.  The more I didn't the more they beat him up, so I thought, after it got quieter, maybe I could let him in and then shut it.  As soon as I opened the door, there were boots showing and they forced their way into the tower where I was.

Basically, after I'd grabbed a bar and swung myself to a landing and ran out of the one tower, later, someone wanted to show off and swing up with some martial arts move and kick up with his boots. 

The other thing I had overheard talked about outside the tower, was the name "Howard" and in context of Russia, "Valerie", and trades, I had wondered what my Uncle Howard had to do with anything because he was the only "Howard" I knew. I did not know there was an Edward Howard.

Also, I will fill some different parts as it comes up but a man grabbed me and punched me and they took me over to a cot or bed and forced me down and then they grabbed the huge horn for fire stations, that is an extremely loud fire station horn for warning people of fires or emergency and he blasted it in my ear and screamed, "Can you hear me now?"  He did it again, over and over blasting a horn into my ear and shouting into it as if he was talking to someone else, because I didn't know what he was talking about.  They knew I had a wire in my ear and they knew I didn't know about it at the time.  They tore off and cut off my clothes and made me sit in front of a woman who smirked as she looked at my naked chest and they turned on a hot iron and burned flesh on one or two of us until you could smell burning flesh.  Later, at the Sandbergs, they got walkie-talkies and in front of me tried them out saying, "Can you hear me now?" and then had me try it out and walk at a distance asking the same thing, "Can you hear me now?'

At one point I thought maybe my Dad was exchanging information with someone there and they smirked about it, which made me wonder why I was getting tortured.  I think the people who broke into the fire station were possibly Forrest Tancer and Joy Sterling and Valerie Plame and Joe Wilson, and maybe one more person.  I'll think about it a little more but the British accented people were at the first tower, with others, and I remember thinking there is that tall blond woman again but all the men around her are short.  None of the men were very tall.  5'11" at most, but some shorter.  Aside from maybe Jim Sandberg who is maybe over 6' feet but was inside the tower, not outside.  I thought one of the women was Lady Diana and wondered why the men around her were shorter than usual, most were clean-shaven but one looked like Michael of Kent, with a beard.  One of the couples I do think Mike and Carol, which would make sense because later Gary was going to my house to torture me, but I'll think about it more.

I know that I was hit with a cast iron skillet on the head and I was sick from the radiation or whatever they'd been doing to me while I was in that tower by myself, because I had been burning up.  When a helicopter came along, this time it was my Mom reaching out her hand and Scott Sandberg, when she and Jim had tried to kill me in the first tower an earlier time.

This was something the U.S. did to me repeatedly.  They would have someone torture me and then force me to go to them for help.  Aside from mixing things around or trying to have one person fill in for another person, they literally were making it a hostage situation impossible to escape from.  So they would try to kill me, not just pretend, though in the meantime they had plans on how to have me kill myself and programmed this "as a back-up plan", but then after trying to kill me, they'd make me take the hand of the person who had just tried to kill me, or, if they were mixing it up they would put another person in to look like them and act like they were helping me.

So then I was pulled up by my Mom and Scott, and she said it looks like you got a really bad sunburn, let me put some lotion on for you, and a tub of Crisco was brought out and then she asked Scott Sandberg which masonry tool size was better, a wider one in the shape of an iron, or a narrow one and she decided to use the wider one and I didn't know what it was going to be for.  So then, with gasoline fumes from the helicopter swirling around me, I got burned.  It wasn't the first time someone did this or pretended to do this to me.  I wouldn't let her or anyone else put "sunscreen" on my back after that and would say, "I'll do it myself".

Also, before hitting me with a cast iron skillet in the fire tower, they put up a hangman's noose.  They put it up above my bed or the cot in the place and were threatening me with hanging me at one point. The first discussion was about whether or not to kill me by hanging me there.   They spent so much time on it that later when I was at my house, trying to figure out how or why they'd done that, I set one up, with a chair or saw-horse to stand on and then the saw horse or chair would get kicked out from underneath and then someone would put it back before choking.

I was taken to the Moses Lake hospital for "sunburn" (from more than one source) and "hitting head" in an accidental fall or something is how they described it, and then they did a spinal tap on me after they'd been radiating me in the fire tower when they didn't kill me in the first tower.  Then, after all I went through with Sandbergs, I was forced to recouperate some of the time in their "rec room" in a building they built that was next to their house, again forcing me to be with those who tortured me, abused me, and tried to kill me.  I had an excessively high fever from all of it.

I was burned with some kind of iron or masonry tool on a plane, on a helicopter, and possibly once before that  (maybe fire tower and/or a residence) and then reminded of it constantly by everyone in government around me.

There was also a man who sort of looked (face wise, but not him) John Kitzhaber (maybe it was Miller? will have to look at photos from the 80s), who worked with a guy who looked like a lawyer (Ron Estes) I worked for in Wenatchee (not recognizing him), and a Mexican man (Valentine or his friend) who tortured me by putting an iron or metal horse bit in my mouth.  (The one guy who sort of looked like John Kitzhaber that was involved, I remembered from seeing someone who looked like him recently walking downtown with Kathy, this one Hungarian psychic woman.)  One time it was a horse shoe, and then it was a kind of horse bit and I was forced to sit there with flies buzzing around my face while I was "muffled" from speaking.  My Aunt Locklyn knows who it was, and so does my Mom because then later at my Mom's house in Moses Lake, she had me do a similar thing one time, but it was mostly done in Wenatchee (possibly with Ray Barcart but I'd have to see his picture).  When Alan Springer then tortured me later with his box, at one point he also forced me to put something metal in my mouth that was connected to it (to the electrocution box). 

The metal bit for not talking was nothing compared to Mormon Alan Springer electrocuting me, or the electrocution by the cops and others at my Grandpa Garrett's house. 

I know that when my Dad named some people who had been at the one location he named Forrest Tancer, Joy Sterling, a royal, and some others.  I believe Joe Wilson was named because I remember thinking about the basketball name and he referred to a man as Joe later.  Also, after my Dad mentioned Wilson, he gave me a baseball or ball that said "Wilson" on it, so I wouldn't forget.  He left it there with me when he left and told me to lock the door after him and don't let anyone in.  So I had the Wilson baseball with me, and a book or two, many National Geographics, and when I got bored I mostly played pretend that I was behind the controls of an airplane.  When the people broke into the plane they took the Wilson ball from me and cut it.

The U.S. was using a "blond woman/brown or dark brown haired companion" mix a lot.  Of approximately the same height and builds, even for some of the ones from the UK or Canada.

Also, the bearded man who was there, that looked like Michael of Kent, was referred to one time as "Peter" but I'm not sure if it was a cover.  I had met a man named "Peter" at our house in Moses Lake once.

I just looked up Carol Goldsmith Middleton again, because in the past, I've not seen anything online of pictures other than recent ones.  Once I saw a blond haired one of her, when she was a flight attendant and she looked like the attendant on one of the planes.  In this other photo, with her brown hair, she looks like the woman who used to babysit me and take me out of my crib to torture me withelectrocution.  It's the exact same face and hair and it's the same way she kept her bedroom.  She even has a box next to her in this photo, though it looks like a heater.  I don't know if this is her own bedroom, but it looks like the one I remember, with even the same bedspread and designs.  I think it's her.  This is titled as a photo with Kate, and I'm pretty sure I've mentioned it before, but if so, Katie was after James, and would mean this bedspread and the bedding is older or has been saved for some time.  The problem is, I remember it and the room.  And I remember that face.  When I can remember being taken out of my crib to be tortured by her, it makes a lot more sense that they were still involved in torturing me later, and then even got Gary Middleton to visit me at my house to see how torture of me was going with an electrocution box when this is the "business" their family is in.  She must have hated my guts.  The striped bedding in the back, behind the rose print, is what I remember most.  At one point during my being "babysat" by her, she redid the whole house or one of the rooms with that.  As a baby or toddler I had thought it was ugly.  I have no idea what it's being used as in the background there, if it's covering a footstool or is a comforter or used as a sleeping bag or what, and it seems to be on the ground, but she had that ugly striped print and it's probably one reason I feel nauseous looking at red and yellow push pins, aside from getting burned or poked by my Dad with them, I remember this pattern from her "redecorating".  The house also hardly ever had lights on.  It was always dark in my room where the crib was and then when she took me out, it was a weird dimly lit light.  It was the gloomiest darkest, yellow-tinged weird house and that is definitely her face.  You should see that face when she grinning in a mean way with hate and talking to you.  I think she is the one who was whispering some weird foreign phrase into my ear before she tortured me.  I don't ever remember her taking me out of my crib to torture me on another bed.  It was always on the floor.

So the symbolism of that striped shit in the background, on or next to the floor, with herself propping Katie up on a "bed of roses" is really something else.  I sort of remember that bedspread too, but mostly the stripes stood out to me.  Which would, for an older baby and toddler.  They are drawn to contrasts and geometrical shapes and designs or notice them.  They were not always there.  It was not a big geometric design with those colors at all originally.  She used to pick me up, lay me down on a blanket or something on the floor on my back and put some kind of electrodes on my body. She always made this weird foreign phrase which I then began to associate with horror.  She usually leaned right over me for some period of time, inches from my face while I was on the ground.  I mean, I have no idea what her problem was, but she got up close for some of it, maybe to terrify me and she'd look right into my eyes and I would look right into that bitches eyes.  I am positive she was probably just trying to get a psychic read out of me.  She would put my hand on something to burn me.

What is odd, is that later, after Gary Middleton was at my house, forcing me down on a bed on my back, then I was outside and my Dad got mad and burned me all over my body by touching me with a red heat lamp and then he broke it.

This is what Carol Middleton did to me.

There is absolute no question about it--either my parents and the Middletons worked together, to torture me and for some bizarre Mossad or government reason, at my expense, and then wanted to kill me off, or one was controlling the other and if that's the case maybe one out 5 wasn't "in on it". 

She tortured me with Christmas light bulbs too, among other things.  The larger, colored ones, not the string of tiny lights.  I am pretty sure she put something on my head for some of the torture.  I remember being paralyzed and unable to move yet I was only lying on my back, most of the time, so I had to have been a baby or paralyzed for some other reason.  She took my temperature with a glass thermometer after every single torture session.  She also made a big deal about zipping me up in a one-piece zip-up and unzipping me for torture.  She didn't just change my diaper, she tortured me and made the sound of a zipper part of that.  I am positive she was premeditating my being raped when I was just a baby, figuring if I lasted that long, torturing me intermittently would keep me in line.  If I tried to roll over, she burned me.  I remember being in a one-piece zip-up and I rolled anyway, and kept rolling, like a log on her floor to get away from her.  She used to take me out and have me out for torture completely naked sometimes, and I didn't like it even then.  I think she took part in cutting me, but what I remember most is she burned me and tortured me so that I was always hot and sweaty and sick.

I remember rolling away from my Dad mostly because at Carol's, I was paralyzed with the torture but I was abused by my parents too so I was always trying to roll away from him.  I remember I was able to turn around at diaper changes with my Dad until he beat me so I didn't.  At first he thought it was funny and then he got mad.  I remember the one-pieces were without arms or the arms were tied so my arms were inside of the bag.  It was called a "sleeper bag".  I remember rolling away at my house but never at Carol Middleton's house and I mostly remember being in a paralyzed state there.

She also leaned over my face closely when she was saying curses over me.  I remember her being just a few inches away as she tried to speak words of death and horror and failure into my life.  It was sort of like an attempt at hypnotherapy of a baby but instead of good things, she was repeating bad things, and I was "supposed" to be hypnotized but I wasn't. 

I wish I could remember what the décor was before the stripes idea but I am not sure.  I was older when the stripes came out, so I remember the switch, but I can't remember the rest yet, but I think I might be able to.  What is really horrible is that I think what Shirley Sandberg was doing, when she took me into Annettes room to see the "redecoration" or whatever, of her bedroom, she knew it might trigger a "Carol Middleton" memory with me.  I think she was sort of looking forward to it, to see what happened, whereas my mother was not.  I only remember I said I liked it, and as I was looking around I started to feel sick and like I was going to pass out and my Mom said to get out of the room.

I think there were red polka-dots, not hearts, but red dots on white on a lamp in one of the rooms but I'm not sure if it was the Middleton's house.  I remember when I was a kid, I said, "What happened to the red polka-dotted lamp? (lampshade)" or something like that and my Mom startled and said there wasn't one and I kept saying yes there was and then later Shirley came up with red hearts on white. 

It was originally red polka dots on white.  That is what I remember before seeing a room with red hearts.

I remember it as being mine though, in my bedroom in Moses Lake and then disappearing one day, when I was pretty young.  I got an angel lamp, a nightlight, in place of it, with 3 red ball heads for the angels.

Both my Dad and Carol Middleton used to electrocute me using (among other things) Christmas light bulbs that were strung on a wire.  I was burned with them, but also, they were unscrewed (before the new ones came out that all turn off if one bulb is "burnt out") and then I was forced to stick a finger inside the socket and I was also forced to put my tongue on them.  Sometime in the late 80s or so, the bulbs that were sort of torpedo shaped and multicolored, had something changed on them so that if one bulb burnt out or wasn't good, the entire string wouldn't light up at all.  Well, I was tortured by my Dad and the Middletons, with the original kind of lights.
These are not exact, because the glass was more translucent but it's the same type and is also the same shape and style of the "iron" print on my back.  So...nice ribbon there, in Katie's "runway" hair for 2005.  Who gave her the idea?  My parents or hers?

What's even more interesting, is if you read about parallel circuits, there is something called "kirschoffs law" that goes with it, which must have made it really funny to the U.S. to have "Kathy Kirscher approaching me", knowing how Katie Middleton's mom tortured me.  What a NICE family.  That is what William of Wales went after--Parallel circuit torture of children woman.  I even remember when they finally dumped me off and it was around Christmas time.  You know, after they'd had a couple years/seasons with me.  So the other thing is, I'm not the only one who knows about it.  Obviously some of the middle eastern people, at least at one time, had correct information from someone about torture done to me.  How that's changed I don't know, but I am sure many of those people were "killed off".  Another person who knew, for whatever reason, was some homeless man at a bar in Wenatchee who mentioned "parallel universes" and if I'd known more about electricity I might have caught on, but I didn't know what he was talking about.  He was talking about Princess Diana or Lady Diana and the Middletons and I had said something about maybe Harry being a 'maverick' and he said he wasn't so sure and then brought up parallel universes.  Anyway, I thought he was talking about psychic stuff, but no, obviously, he was trying to refer to torture of me by parallel circuitry in electrocution techniques (among other things).

There's nothing like taking a little of the "Christmas spirit" home with you!  Thanks for such a nice "electric lights" show Carol.  I'm just singing for Joy.

From what I remember, the "stripes décor" came up when I was able to walk.  The walkway to the living room was from the back and then you walked through the kitchen or past it, or in a hall and the door opened up to a large living room which extended out to the left side so then you would walk to the left and a larger window was in front.  There may have been something in the same fabric, in stripes before that, but I remember seeing a living room, and bedroom, redecorated.  It is possible the bedroom then was approached from the living room to the left side doorway.  If you were outside of the window looking in the floor design would be an L with the l being the hallway and the __ as the living room with the window.   I don't know.  I just know more than one room was redone.  I'm not positive but I remember new lamps too, and lampshades, large ones, but all the lights were out and it was only natural light from outside when I saw it.  They hardly ever had lights on.  It might be that the living room was in blue shades and the bedroom in yellows and tan and rust colors.

Earlier than that I only remember being taken out of a crib, out of that room down a hall into the living room or another bedroom, which was not far from the kitchen, and tortured.

I wonder how their bank accounts were shaping up around the time they were torturing me.  Probably they were too wise to put it all in the bank.

One thing I remember that my Mom later tried to say never existed, when I was a kid, was wallpaper I had in my room as a baby or toddler.  What I thought was odd, when I was 7 or 8 or so, was that my mother wanted to deny it was ever there, which I thought was odd.  Why should it matter if it was there or not? I was sure she remembered it.  It was a white wallpaper with animals on it at different places and had a border. It is possible this was also at Carols when I was younger and that's why she wanted to say it wasn't there, but I don't remember it at Carols.  At my house I remembered animal wallpaper and light and at the Middletons I remember white walls in the nursery and no light.  However, there was maybe one other place I was babysat that had white walls so I'm not sure.

If you think about that photo with Carol, it's kind of creepy that she has a lamp to one side of her, and then a heater or box to the other side and newborn Katie in her arms with a W bottomed gown.  I mean, it's creepy especially when she used lamps and heater electricity, among other things, to burn me, and when I had a ^ shape burned into my back and a v shape burned and imprinted onto my legs with dots beneath it. 

I wish that homeless man would show up and divulge more information for me.

pg. 141.  E.H. says "Station cable don't lay around for anyone to browse, they are locked in safes..."  He says he did not have access to information in safes when every CIA agent had a locked safe of their own with only information privy to them, and access to other information was controlled.

He goes on to say he did not divulge names of CIA human assets in Moscow to the KGB and he didn't have access to them.

Here I would think about being locked up in a fire station or tower and when my Dad gave a list of names but who knows why and who to and if they were actual or not?  I only know of the ones I recognized and what is true is that if those people were out in public to witness my death or hoping for it, or brought along to notice, that's public information.  I am a public person, and they revealed themselves to me and I am not bound to confidentiality.  You go outside of the private domain, you open yourself up to publicity--public city.  I have every right to talk about any "spy" or person I want to talk about if they choose to flap up their underpants.  That is also not a breach of confidentiality because it is something other public persons had knowledge to and was therefore public, not private information.

You try to kill me?  Well then, welcome to the cameras, published article, and reports.  More directly, so as not to "red herring" or "red bluff" the issue, if someone exposes themselves publicly as having attempted to conduct a private "hit" or business matter, they took that risk.   Most of the names I heard I already knew, though they all tried to mix them around a little.

Names I heard all the time from planes or otherwise, mixed around or not:
Andy, Anne, Queen, Betty, Edward, Carol, Mike, George, Paul, Dennis, Joy, Forrest, Miller, John, Charlie, Charles, the Lady, and later I heard Valerie, Philip, Sean, Joe, Peter, and some others.

E.H. says computers led to a breakdown in confidentiality and that Aldrich Ames gave out the names.   He says when he was trained, in the early 1980s, the PC hadn't arrived.

Other names mentioned were the Count of Wessex, Duke and Duchess of Kent, and some Canadian person.

I think it's safe to say Chris Dabney was working with my parents and Middletons and that whole U.S.-Mossad torture group.  This is a tangent from the earlier decades I'm talking about, but I know his wife or some woman he loved was killed in 9/11 attacks and I think he blamed me for it, thinking they were in retaliation for what was done to me at the twin towers of the lighthouse and the fire station tower, so he raped me and said "here's another one in the hole" to disparage me when he did.  He was getting information from people from Israel.

The other thing I am thinking is how my Dad (Bob Garrett) was involved in trying to murder me in the lighthouse because one of my parents went ahead with my brother to a higher point in the lighthouse or tower and then one stayed back with me and I know my Dad and Mom were not outside of the tower.  I'll think about the events more closely after I go through some other material in E.H.'s book.  It was my Mom and brother at the top, with Jim and my Dad behind trying to kill me or it was my Dad and brother at the top with my Mom and Jim.  The first time I wrote about it on my blog was the correct order, with person in that tower but I'll have to think about it again because I was remembering a lot of things all at once yesterday.  I believe it was my Dad and Jim and then my Mom in the helicopter because later when my Dad took me to the fire tower, I and my brother and parents were split up the same way as we'd been in the first tower.

When I got out, the blond woman started to turn back toward the helicopter when I said "They're trying to kill me in there".  She looked fine, and then saw me, and the men around her froze and faces hardened. They were very angry I was alive.  She then got a nervous and scared look on her face and went back and when they said aren't you going to see the tower?  she said she'd changed her mind.  Also, the man who someone had called "Mike" tried to make it sound like that wasn't his name.  They did have a kid because it was mentioned. 

My impression was that this woman who I thought was Lady Diana or looked like her, showed up with other people around, to see the results and have firsthand sights of an accomplished hit on me.  I felt they wanted to see for themselves and maybe that's why they took a private helicopter there.  When my Dad came out and saw them, she was livid with rage and my Dad looked like someone throwing up his hands like "what can I do?" and they said aren't you going to stay? and she said curtly, with the others, "No" and something about changing their minds or remembering something they had to do.  It basically looked like a showdown over a failed assassination and there I was, looking at all of them.  I also had the impression someone was trying to make a "trade" of some kind, and something to do with Russia, Howard, Valerie, and maybe some kid trying to take my place.  Maybe something like "trading Victory for Valerie".  I thought the woman looked at my Dad hard, like she was his boss and he didn't do the job.  Jim and others came out of the tower, but she directed her glare at my Dad.  The other people really mad were the couple with the kid. 

It's really great to pop up unexpectantly, at the worst times, as a kid that defeats the whole "Die Hard" plan.  I think I was like the ground hog they kept trying to kill that, as money was being exchanged over my "grave", popped up to witness the transaction and said in the worst snotty kid's voice:  "I see your shadow."  "Pardon me, but Miss, your slip is showing." 

I was shot at once but I don't think it was at that time.  I know when the helicopter took off, they were mad at me and I wanted to see them drive away so I got up and the driver kept pushing the helicopter towards me, as if to push me off the mountain with a strong air current. 

I am trying to think about what context I knew Angus Ogilvy, but I knew him.  He was a royal who died in 2005, and he knew how to fly.  I knew him in context of flying helicopters, not planes.  On the wiki for him it doesn't say what kind of military training he had but he did fly helicopters and I remember him.  He had a sort of back-of-the-throat lackodaisocal type of voice and manner. He knew how to drape himself over anything, in sort of an elegant style, and was sarcastic and only used dry wit and had a deep laugh.  He could look very mean as well.  He could alternate between carefree and very determined with sharp manoeuvers.  I believe I saw him driving the helicopter that day, with another dark haired younger man and because I had been around him in the past, I assumed he'd let me go on the helicopter but he was changed, and acting differently, like he hated me and laughed at me, and the other man looked at me with hatred and then they pushed at me with the helicopter to blow me over.  I remember I felt confused and hurt because in the past he'd been kind and witty around me and then there he was callous and laughing at me.  The other man with him looked sort of like, generally speaking, James Cartright type of features.  Brown or dark brown hair, sturdier-built, and white but tan skin and he was co-pilot.  The pilot of that helicopter was Ogilvy, from what I recall, as he was on the left side of the helicopter if it was pointing to the right, as in, the tower was behind me and the helicopter in front of me, and the tower is to the left side of the computer screen with the helicopter on the right side of the screen, they would be pointed straight at me, where I sit now, with the brown haired man on my left side and Ogilvy on the right.  So basically, another way to think of it, with a birds-eye view, top of screen N, bottom S, left W, and right E, the tower would be S, the helicopter N, the helicopter pointing E, with Ogilvy on the N side and the other man on the S side (of the computer screen).  I even knew his name:  Angus. He told me his name and I thought it was so different I repeated it.  He took me and my Dad and Mom and maybe that was it, or a few others, flying in a helicopter, before the assassination attempt of me later.  I met him that way, or was introduced, if I did not know him from much earlier in my childhood or as a baby.  He said we could say we "met in the air" but it was sort of a joke because this is what Charles once said to me, before I met Angus.  Angus laughed when he said this, and I am pretty sure he wanted me to stick my tongue out for him, which he also laughed at.  Now that I see his crest it makes more sense. I  remember his tone of voice exactly and he did not have the thick accent that Prince Philip has.  It was lighter in quality.  It was lighter in quality of accent but deep in tone and casual or eloquent in delivery.  He liked to make a statement, let it rest, and as a slow smile crept at the corners of his mouth, wait for the response or would add to it or laugh.  He never had a combustible laugh.  Which is a good thing, if you're a smoker.  I am pretty sure I met him while he was seated next to Charles, Prince Charles.  I was with my family behind them or up front with them.  One time Charles was with him.

I specifically remember thinking I always liked Charles and he was very good with children but when I met Angus I thought I might like him even a tiny bit more or felt charmed by him in some way with his easy elegance and wit.  I still liked Charles, but there was a sparkling mischief with Angus.  Then, I was totally crushed to see them all turn on me. It was really pitiful.  Possibly it could have been Prince Philip instead of Angus at the helicopter on the mountain, but I absolutely met Angus, and I thought it looked like him when he was pushing me off with the helicopter.  I think I actually fell down on the ground because of the current of air.  It looked like the same Angus to me, but suddenly mean.  Charles was definitely not there, on that mountain with the tower or in the helicopter, from what I saw.  The other man next to Angus was a shorter stockier man.  So I guess it was a royal helicopter because one of them was driving it.  In the second tower, it was a U.S. helicopter.

I will look at photos specifically from that year or approximate year and see how Philip looks vs Angus to see if it was the same man.  Then after this my Dad told my Mom "We're going to Jackson" and we left in the station wagon and I was taken up to the fire station tower.  We drove to Idaho.  So then we were on a trip to "Jackson" and I was given a Wilson baseball to hold onto.

I have to say, I was just thinking about that helicopter--I know I ran over with them because I was afraid to get killed and didn't have enough time to think they were in on it.  I said Charles wasn't anywhere, but actually, I believe he was there.  He stayed on the helicopter.  I remember because I thought back to running over, and when I got there, Charles, I believe, came from around the corner because he had stayed on the helicopter and when Diana had to get back in, she had to have someone give her a hand and that's when he showed up.  He didn't want to.  He was behind a corner inside and then she kept yelling at him and finally he showed up, with this very bright red-face and helped her in and then I asked to be helped in and they scowled at me and mocked me and I was holding onto the rail of the helicopter and said something to Charles, because he was always wanting me around, and he stood back and then the pilot, who appeared to me to be Angus, was taking off while the other guy pushed me away and then the pilot laughed at me and they kicked up the air current against me and I fell down to the mountain ground.  Charles was definitely there.  I guess I blocked it out because it was traumatic and most of the time just thought about one part of it and didn't replay the entire scene. 

I'm positive.  He didn't even want me to see him because he was trying to hide from me.  He came around from the left side of the helicopter, from the tail end.  It was also Diana.  So I don't know why they were talking about Valerie or the name was mentioned because a bearded man who looked like the Duke of Kent was there but I remember it was Diana who got into the helicopter.  I don't remember more than one tall blond there, for example, Diana and Duchess of Kent.  If she was there, maybe on the helicopter too...I don't know, but the tall one was Diana.  I suppose the couple that were standing there, who scowled at me, could have been them but if so, Duchess of Kent is not as tall as Diana.

So the other thing was, the first baseball that someone signed for me was signed by Diana.  She signed it "With Love, Diana" and then someone stole it from me, made me give it to them and there were some who acted jealous, and then they gave me one signed by "Andy" instead.  They took away the one Diana gave me, and I could tell it was a big deal to some that I had it, and they said, "Here, I'll give you one" and a man signed it with "Andy" and that was it.  Both times it was the same kind of white Wilson baseball.

I remember someone looked at the baseball she signed and commented, sort of sneering but impressed, and said, "With LOVE".  The emphasis was made on "love" like, "Wow.  With LOVE" and then I am pretty sure that is the one they stole from me in the second tower when people broke in, and they gave me a different one and stabbed it.  I remember they wanted to get the Diana ball back after I'd spotted Diana and Charles on the helicopter.  I was extremely upset they took my ball that Lady Diana had signed for me and then when I said, "This one isn't signed.  It not the SAME!" Some man said he'd sign it and wrote, smirking in a not-very-nice way "Andy" and said "There.  Now it's signed."  So I had an "Andy" ball from someone after they stole the baseball signed "With Love, Diana" from me.

I think the only reason to steal it from me, would be if it was really her signature because then it would be evidence.

If I had died, the Diana-signed baseball would look like she had positive feelings about me.  How nice that Diana signed a ball for Cameo!  Or, the ball just gets given to someone else secretly.  If I was alive, which I was, it was a problem.  It proved she knew who I was and that I could testify about things happening to me and who I knew from the royal family.

There would be only 2 normal reasons to try to kill me:  either it was out of concern over pedophilia and/or abuse, or it was concern that I had some right to a royal position and if the latter is the case, I don't know what it is.  The first case scenario makes more sense, but then again, if someone is a pedophile or a group abuses, there is usually more than one victim and I can't imagine they murder all of them. 

I think possibly Andrew helped Diana on the plane with Charles still around the corner, but he peeked over.  Then the co-pilot or guy on the other side got out to help the rest back onto the helicopter and when I thought it was my turn, he pushed me out of his way and snarled at me.

There was a man who came to the house and was over specifically to look at the baseball Diana had signed.  I had never seen him before and didn't remember him but he was specifically there to see the ball.  He was the one who scorned what was written. It is possible he took it and then I had taken the other one to the second tower, but regardless, the ball was inspected and it was all about the Diana ball. 

Between royals wanting to kill me and the CIA and military wanting to kill me, it's been hard to have a normal life and impossible to break out of their guarded watches, because they've surrounded me all the way around, or isolated me, to keep me in their control.  They had a ton of people to lie for them about me and then kidnap my son from me.  I know when the people who broke into the second tower got in, they had the most interest in whether to kill me and making looks with each other about the baseball.

I just want my son returned and some compensation to make up for what's been done to us.  I think that's reasonable.

Other things I remember are that one day while I was still in a carseat, my Dad got mad that I was telling my Mom what he was doing to me and he said he was taking me and he hooked me up to the electric box and tortured me.  I was still in a carseat so I was pretty young and I remember my Mom was panicked when he did this. 

However, I also remember possibly one of the Dicksies, along with Carol Middleton, speaking bad things into my life while looking into my eyes, when I was a baby.  It is possible my Mom did it to cover for Carol doing this, I don't know, but I remember that as well.

I possibly danced with Charles one time in London when I was little.  I was little and it was a ballroom and later when we went to Ritzville and looked at a large old house with 2 stories, the entire upstairs was a large room with high ceilings and I said, "It's a ballroom!"  because I remembered what a ballroom was.  Then much later, this actor from the Annie play danced with me who was tall and thinner sort of like Charles and then he made a big deal about the "dip".  I also twirled in the kitchen a few times with my Dad but in the ballroom I remember Charles and I only remember 2 of us there and no lights.  I remember the rec room too. ("does she remember the rec room?")  I mostly remember dancing in the ballroom. 

The order of events was sort of like ballroom with Charles, ball from Diana, meet me at the wrecking ball construction site (before or after ball from Diana), disco ball at roller skating rink, and then of course other things from there, but it was a lot of balls.  I could say I had a ball and mean many different things.  From there it just got know, welcome to dodge-ball Hell and dodging tomatoes.  The gamut.

Memories that I will say I can't confirm or be totally sure of, but which I will mention as possible very early memories are of being around a woman who knitted with a basket of yarn balls, aside from my Aunt Locklyn, because my Aunt also knitted; possibly having dinner with the Duke and Queen on t.v. trays, before my grandparents then got t.v. trays are were expected to erase or cover over the memory; if I am correct, more than Duke and Queen, also maybe a woman and man, and I want to say possibly at one time a woman was slightly kind toward me, either Queen or Anne.  It was before Diana.  I just sort of remember one woman being somewhat gentle and considerate, if quiet and aside from dinner, possibly she taught me something with a thread and needle. Or one taught me and the other one was working on something and looked over to watch me.  I think I had my maraschino cherries there.  I was sharing them with the nice woman and we liked them a lot and it wasn't on a plane.  I think they possibly also had bon-bons.  I can't completely remember what the dinners were.  I think they were like me, eating one thing at a time mostly, which is why I maybe later wondered why my parents sometimes took a forkful of one thing and then of the other and then switched back and I never wanted to.  I wanted to eat all my peas first, and then work on the next thing.  I think they gave me corn.  I liked corn a lot.  I remember having corn with them and that they noticed how much I liked corn and it was yellow corn, not white.  They or Anne would ask, "Would you like more corn?" and I said "Yes please."  There was one kind of meat I liked too but I don't remember ever having seafood with them, not even fish.  Maybe it was because I was too little to have a fillet with the bones or something but I don't really remember having fish with them.  Possibly roast, ham, chicken, guinea hens, Cornish hens, anything but maybe fish except for possibly one time.  If I had fish, I'm sure I talked to Anne about it.  I don't remember it being around a formal table but more of a t.v. trays set up in a residence that was possibly a room in a castle.  If they had dinner with me, it was a secretive and private arrangement.

What is sort of strange is I went from there, and loving corn, and eating lots of corn there, to living across the street from a cornfield in Moses Lake, Wa.  I mean, it's sort of strange.  If I met them while in that house I don't remember but I think I knew them earlier.  Planes later perhaps, but the residence was earlier.

I think one of them sort of preferred maraschino cherries to bon-bons even.  She kept them with her.  If I had dinner there, I don't know for sure where I slept.  I remember the concept of "trundle bed".  I can remember two bed settings.  One, when I was older, was a trundle bed and it was next to a great big tall ornate wood (I think wood) bed.  Very ornate and grand furniture.  There was someone else later, who had a more modern pull-out trundle under her bed which I slept on now and then but this was, I think a separate bed brought in next to the high bed.  The other arrangement I remember which was possibly when I was younger even, was there was a princess-style canopy of a veil over my bed.  It wasn't mosquito netting but it was like the idea of mosquito netting.  I remember sort of a bassinet thing maybe or bed with this very tall...very high veil over my bed and someone would part the veil to take me out and it was very pretty.  I remembered the veil for a very long time.  Every part of my bedding was satin or silk and felt nice and I remember how it felt with the bedding and waking up to seeing the veil.  I can't remember right now if it was a high veil drawn into a circular closure at the top with the veil spreading out or if it was a high veil around a kind of 4-post bed idea.

Later, some of my friends had "canopy beds" and I never had one, but before I was a little girl, when I was still a baby or toddler, I slept one at one place that had luxurious bedding and sheets and a veil.  Then the trundle bed place was very cozy and I had a nice relationship with the woman there, feeling cozy by her bed.

I think it must have been confusing for me when I was little, because I would come home to Moses Lake or Canterbury Street or someplace and talk about pulling out the trundle bed and there wasn't one and I would wonder where it went.  So when I was in between places, with the international flights and residences, it was confusing to a kid, but it didn't mean I didn't remember.

This might sound really strange, but I think I used to sleep next to Queen Elizabeth II.  I then sort of remember maybe Anne saying I could sleep next to her and staying with her in her room.  At Elizabeth's I don't remember Philip as much so I must have slept on the Queen's side of the bed.  I think it was on the right side of the bed, if you thought about the headboard as North, I was sleeping on the East side of the bed.  It was like a bed under a high bed and a step stool or ladder to it. Then there was a trundle bed attached to the bed that pulled out from the side but wasn't a separate bed under a high bed that was pulled out.

I am trying to remember other things.

Hahahaha!  Charles probably had the water bed.  I had to pay a token to sleep on it.  Hahaha.  Okay, yes.  There was a Charles bed, and I think it WAS a water bed.  It was very large and if it wasn't a water bed I'm wrong, but I think at this one time I was on it, it was.  He would joke to me about having to pay a token.  Without a doubt, I predated Lady Diana.  I was in his bed before she was (I think, unless she visited his bed when she was a kid too.  Are we at Michael Jackson's party or WOT?).    Okay, I'm remembering Philip now too but on top of the bed with Elizabeth and me there.  I will get into that in a minute, because he used to read to me. Yeah, stories.

First...I AM drinking absinthe, I daresay, so watch out tap-dancers, but I loved Charles.  I mean, if it's in a "Lolita" sense, that wasn't my fault and I was later persecuted my entire life for it, but I adored him.  ADORED him.

The Queen and I (Elizabeth) had a lot in common which I never would have known then.  In many, many ways, she and I were twins.  What the U.S. did, was attempt to break down each and every aspect of my personality that was just like her.  I think they were...?  daft.  Looking back on it, my temperament and interests and personality were like hers.  It wasn't something I chose, it was how I was.  So later when it became threatening to a "special interests" group, every single aspect like her was crushed to attempt to turn me out badly.  Turn out or turn in.  Which way?  The U.S. chooses bribery above all.  I was orderly.  I was punctual.  I was a perfectionist.  I loved to laugh.  I lined up those slippers correctly.  I practiced, practiced, practiced.  I had an interest in electronics and mechanics and science.  I liked fine things and seeing dinner served with nice plates and pots and silverware.  I loved riding horses.  I liked dogs.  Kill, kill, kill.  The U.S. made it a high priority to kill and extinguish every single part of my personality that was like hers to the point I was looking fit for nothing less than a Nevada whorehouse.  (And thank you very much for understanding exactly what I'm talking about.)  I was so much like Queen Elizabeth II it was uncanny.  I mean, and I don't think it was "training" either.  Some of these things came naturally to me and never felt like a result of "conditioning".

So anyway.  Here was Camilla.  I don't remember meeting her.  However, I adored Charles so much I'm sure I would have shared him with her.

I was every inch like Elizabeth II, and she probably knew it.  Philip of course, with his comics and reading stories to me, knew it which endeared me to him then.  Prince Philip and I looked at comics and he would read to me in bed.  I had breakfast with him and Elizabeth on a tray. It was "breakfast in bed" which I later imitated by serving to my Mom and Dad in high style.  Prince Philip used to ask me what I wanted, or maybe Elizabeth did, and I usually said "orange juice" and "English muffins with jam".

I am telling you...if anyone had reason to want to commit suicide after all that's been done to me, through the highs and lows, it's me, and if you WANT a "psychotherapist" I could probably give you, (whoever you are that is reading this), a lot better ideas than some "professional" could because I know my bees.  What I EXPECT is the RETURN OF KING OLIVER to CAMEO.

So anyway.  The breakfast tray.  Sometimes I had a sausage link.  Shared it with Eddy-Phil.  I loved breakfast-in-bed and I learned it from YOU London.  I probably was drawn to the whole "Victoria" magazine subscription subconsciously based on what I liked and knew about the English.

So I have to tell you, at that time, at the residence, I thought Anne was nice.  I liked the Queen but I think maybe she started getting jealous over Philip and the comics, but she and I were two peas in a pod, Queen+HomelessWoman.  We were alike.  Maybe that's what Philip thought I was precocious and, as they say, a man marries a woman like his mother....why Charles was drawn to me as well. 

Slightly nerdy, yes of course.  Undereducated by papers? perhaps.  Artistic clan?  Forevermore.  No one who is royal disdains a nerd.  They are Nerds With Looks. 

So, yes, I was totally and completely "in love" as much as a girl could be, with nice Anne's brother Charles.  Whatever that means, Charles was in love with me at one point and it was probably not the "best of times" to be, mr. Dickens.  I did not have any posters up, and I think I was still too young to understand the concept of "royalty" but I really, remembering my heart at that time, in my way, I really did connect to him personality-wise and I also knew he was enamored of me.  It was strange or is strange to say I knew, as a toddler (?) or young, young, girl, that he was captivated by me.

Probably all of them could say he was a boor, oinky oink, and maybe he was just playing me until he tired, married Diana who was of a more proper age, and then thought "She's not turning out so well because she talks, and talks, and talks..." and wanted to kill me, but yes, I would say I had him.  Camilla? who is SHE?  Camilla was like the fog horn going West to sound the sound for the Peninsulas, who was the appropriate hunting friend of sir Charles.  I was the one in his bed at night.  * this is where you insert the phrase:  "I think we've got a problem here"*

I am the Real Slim Shady.  I'm the fucking Rottweiler.  Camilla is innocent.

So Charles had this "mistress" right?  mm-hmmm girlfriend.  Poor Camilla was a cover for me, Cameo, because I was inconveniently "underage".  That does mean our "love" was not real.   Camilla was not even "re-introduced" until Charles was dating Diana.  He (they) needed a cover for the real "Cam" who 4 years old? 6? then?  Okay, so not to disparage the royal family (I'm probably one of them)..from a Lolita stand-point or Jungian-soulmate standpoint, was I matched to him?  Probably.
Who was my better equal?  So far, it looked like Charles and it looked like me.  I was pretty much the Jungian spitting-image of his mother, who he admired and as they say...well, from my child perspective, he was a match.  Literally.  If we were all just souls floating around without bodies, would my soul have been drawn to his?  Sure! 

I was an artist and an intellectual and I held my own.  I would say, Duke Philip and I shared the comic strips. Personality wise, I was an equal.  Looks? I was beautiful?  Pedigree?  Lost my papers or someone shredded them but I was one of them.  I was every bit a match for something or someone until somebody decided "she talks too much" even with a metal bit in my mouth.  I had a crown and they stole it from me, put a paper "party hat" on my head, electrocuted me and mocked me.  Sweden.  They did horrible things to me, and in Copenhagen.  Horrible things.

As I was saying, I did love Charles.  Or adored him and he loved me.  When he married Diana, and I think she discovered what was going on, he then also became animostic towards me and maybe they all thought, well, it will never 'do' that she is his 'mistress' so we need to get rid of her (kill her).  So what was he like?

He was very good with kids, generally speaking.  I'm sure he was an ardent father to his sons, for example, especially when they were young.  With me, we were artists so I had a natural connection to that, and to liking animals and sports and intellectual ideas.  He came up with jokes I thought were funny and he was witty and considerate in an adoring way.  He did not come across as mischeiveous at all, but as sincere and thought-provoking in his own way.  He didn't use overt "mischief" to further his charm, but a polite cavalier approach.

I would estimate, if there was anything lacking in his relationship with Diana, was that he liked to be dominated a little bit.  I mean, he was dominant, but he like self-confidence and someone confident enough in themself to ensure him they were confident of HIM.  If they were not confident in themself, how could he trust their confidence and assurance in HIS abilities?  Camillla was perhaps married and adjusted enough to feel a certain line to him, and to be able to flatter him.  I didn't know any of that "mistress talk" stuff, I just knew something about confidence.  So basically, I was able to be calm and collected in his bed while he joked about tokens and when we dance and while I thought he was great.  I didn't have smooth flattering words to offer, or trained "mistress" advice, I just spoke from the heart and I had some measure of confidence so I think at that time it was attractive in how it transcended through artificiality because perhaps, nothing is so "common" to a king as "artifice".

Perhaps this is what the draw of child innocence is about--discerning what people who will really tell you what they think vs. those who are trained to tell you what you want to hear.

Right HRH?

I didn't know what 'sex' was, as a kid, but I said what I thought, generally, and that is possibly something craved by those in such high positions of power they cannot really trust the opinions of those older adults, all the time.  At any rate, I was in his bed, big bed, but at the residence, I only remember just being in his bed and nothing else and him joking about the token.  Penny for your thoughts?  Or a token?  He joked about tokens, which is funny when Bonners Ferry, where Grandpa Garrett lived, was based on the idea of an idea tribe that began demanding a token for all officials and government that passed into their territory.  Of course Charles would know the history of Bonners Ferry because he is an intellectual.

I am not sure about this part, but I think I had absinthe with the royals or Charles specifically.  He said it was the drink of 'artists' and that's what we were.  He IS right about that.  I AM an artist and so is he. That is true, even if he or others tried to kill me later, it is true.  I also remember something about champagne with him.
Seriously...Okay, I wrote I would try to remember and some of it may not be true.  It IS true.  All of it.  None of it is my imagination.

It's the truth.

It was so true and so astounding, it was this huge private "secret" and then some of the people in my "family" (or adopted family) in the U.S. changed everything they did and how they lived because of it, to accommodate the royal family.  They did as asked, and after I got dumped and almost killed, I did not.

My life was spent partly in the U.S. like a normal "commoner" and very early-on I was partly at the residences of the royal family.  It wasn't the "CIA" putting on a "show" for me, it was really with royals, though the CIA covered for it I've no doubt.

It is seriously horrendous what they've all done to me and my son.  I really did know Charles and spend time in his bed, and he gave me absinthe, saying it was the drink of 'artists' as we were and he is the one who brought up the idea of "what if we were all souls without bodies and how would we match up" and we had these incredibly deep philosophical discussions when I was very young, which I understand and which he felt impressed with.

What is crazy, is my own family has tried to kill me to appease others (or themselves).  Dear God, all I could have asked for was a normal life and my son and look at what they've done.  COME ON.  I am going to TRY to think of anything else I can, to bring this NEWS to the table, but PLEASE.

It was so serious, that years later, decades later, my Grandpa Baird was showing everyone this round wooden token saying, "Look, someone gave this to me.  It's  a round "tuit".  It says "tuit" on it and they gave it to me saying someone gave it to him saying they'd do it when they got a round "tuit".

This was all based off of the fact Charles of Wales, Prince Charles, joked with me about a token when I was on his bad and I gave a nonchalant reply which he laughed at and loved.  I had absinthe at Granny and Grandpa's house, with a few other relatives around, after my last time at the residence of the royals and it was sort to mask or cover over where I had the drink first.  In England.  While I was there, I used to stay up on the balcony sometimes, when they danced in the ballroom.  There was at least one other kid with me and I remember it being a boy, like Rory, but this was in a huge ballroom.  It was the entire reason where I got the idea later, at my Aunt Locklyn's house, to put on one of her negligees, hold it up at the sides and go down the stairs with Rory saying, "We're ready for the party." It couldn't have been Peter, Anne's son, because he was born later.  But there was one other kid that I remember though mostly it was adults.  I sort of thought my Mom was there dancing sometimes.  I knew one of the woman and used to watch from the rafters of the balcony on the stairs, always in my pajamas.  I remember at least one time Rory was there with me and how they sneaked him and me both over I don't know but we both watched the dancing and I actually do believe I met Peter and then in Cashmere, the cover for it was that Rory had a friend there named Peter (who I never met).

It was sort of like in the movie "True Lies" with Arnold Swartzenager about the spy couple and the dance they go to.  That is the same size of ballroom I saw and looked out on, as people danced.  It had the same type of windows as well, as shown here, full-length windows, but they were on the other side.  One time my Mom danced with someone and they pointed up at me and it was following a ballroom dance that I went to the bedroom with Charles.  He got permission.

When I was in there with him, I had a panic attack and couldn't breathe and he told me it was my heart.  I remember once I was there, lying down, he put a pillow over my head briefly, and then took it away and then did it again.  I didn't know why he was doing this but then when I said I can't breathe and I think had a real panic attack he said it was my heart.  It was really strange because he acted like he loved me and then put a pillow over my face as if to smother me.  It was in one of these rooms I put his crown away for him after the ballroom dances. I don't remember if he always did this with the pillow, but I remember at least one time he did, maybe so I wouldn't talk.  He used to stay late and dance.  We danced in his room and then once in the ballroom when no one was there.

This is possibly another reason why Shirley Sandberg's bedroom redecoration with the hearts made my Mom upset and why I felt dizzy.

The first time I remember anyone mentioning my heart was with a royal, who told me I had a small heart condition.  He one time even talked to me about Camilla.

I guess back to other things I remember, I did have dinner at a formal table with royals but not sure where. Most of the time I remember private t.v. trays and lots of breakfast in bed.  I also had eggs for breakfast in bed.  Usually it was like ham, eggs, English muffins with jam and juice...but whatever I wanted.  They read a paper in bed with comics.  Later my parents did this too and then I used to take them a tray for breakfast in bed.  I always had at least 2 drinks on the tray, and an assortment of things with a napkin.

I went for walks in the garden always at night, never during the day.  I walked sometimes after or during a ballroom dance, with a coat or something over my nightgown.  It was a manicured lawn because later in Moses Lake I wondered why our hedge looked so scruffy because I was used to seeing carved bushes and hedges.  I tried to trim them once, but my parents didn't want me "sculpting" them.  It wasn't just formal walls of hedges, there were some sculpted kinds of things in the garden I was in, like shrubs designed to have shapes.    I always looked forward to the night garden walks.  I enjoyed it very much and overheard little bits of gossip there.

I have not read the book "Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil" yet, but the title and the picture on the cover of the book are very familiar.  In addition to taking walks, I was taken out into the bushes and molested.  Sometimes, I was spying as well.  I also had a key or code to the safe house on the property, as there was a safe and not everyone had access but I did.  I used to put things there for people when asked, such as papers, envelopes, and jewelry and when anyone questioned me it was said, "She is very honest" and that was true--I never stole anything.  They were the Queen's jewels mostly.  I was putting them away for her and she didn't trust anyone else.  Then one day someone intercepted me and stole what I was trying to put in the safe and blamed me and it was my Mom or Dad but I don't remember which.  I was accused of theft.  It's possible my parents gave it to someone else on demand, but what would I do with them?  I wasn't involved in any kind of conspiracy. 

After this, I was "fired" and not allowed on that property anymore, but what was really happening was Prince Philip and my Dad were taking me into the bushes and molesting me so maybe those were the "jewels" someone thought were being stolen.  I was beat up pretty bad once and I was in my nightgown and everything and they took my coat from me so I was just out there with nothing.

In addition to this, after ballroom dances, men were making bids to be with me in private rooms.  The only person I overheard asking "how much?" and gesturing to me was Prince Charles.  The other men were not as big of a deal but when Charles decided to meet me, I could tell there was something very big about it, and yet I think I'd already been around his family so I didn't know why it was significant to meet him then.  I think Charles was away some of the other times I'd been around his family.  I do think I met Mark Philips, Anne's husband and from what I remember he was easy-going.  Oh wait.  Maybe he was sort of cool to me because Anne was a little more warm I think.  I met him but I don't remember which way he turned.  I sort of think he didn't like me and acted jealous of me.  I think Anne was "slightly" bi-sexual but don't remember a lot.  I remember being in bed with her once and other times I think next to her bed. I think she kissed me.  I don't remember any of the men kissing me, but she did.  What I sort of recall is I was next to her bed sometimes and it was fine until after I was in her bed with her and she touched me and kissed me but then after that didn't seem to like me.   Yeah, Mark Philips was not a fan.

Of the men that made bids for me after dances, there was a Hispanic man (Latin), a Japanese man, and Prince Charles among them.  The Japanese man was very fond of me, but I didn't like being on a leash and he wanted me to pretend to be a dog with a dog collar and leash on.  He seemed very upset when I didn't want to see him again, and he possibly liked me more than all of them.  I think he was a Japanese royal.  I think he seemed slightly possessive and maybe sometimes mean but I mostly remember he didn't want me going to other men because he thought I'd get hurt and it was safer to stay with him and he seemed to like me in a genuine way.  He was doing weird things but I think he was even shocked by my parents because one time he asked questions about could I escape or something.  It was sort of like he wanted to find a way to get me out and free me and he was worried I was abused.  He was the only one I remember bringing it up.  I mean, he was the only one observing me for bruises and at least acting like he wanted to find a way to have me released or escape.  I actually think then at one point, he got worried and I was electrocuted by him with the box.  It was either him or Charles. It is possible it wasn't him and he knew the other person had the box and wanted me to stay with him but I can't remember if he was one who electrocuted me in the room or if it was Charles. I think I told my Mom the Japanese man said he wanted to help me and then my Dad also, back in the U.S., got mad and electrocuted me with the box, pulling me out of my car seat to take me to do it so I wouldn't talk.

One man wanted to rescue me and my Dad became enraged when he found out.  They weren't trying to kidnap me--they knew something was extremely wrong, and then sure enough, I was abused more, to an excessive point, by my parents.  At the age it occurred, all of this, I was still in a car-seat.  Some of the events were a little later, but when my Dad found out about a rescue attempt, I was still in a car-seat.  I was told by one of the men that my parents were getting a million dollars for allowing people to torture me.  That was back then. 

What is sort of confusing is that I think once in one of the rooms I met Edward Howard (not just a plane thing) and possibly he said some things and then I think it is possible I was then beat up by both him and my Dad, which sounds weird, but I sort of vaguely remember something.  One man out of them, however, seemed sincerely upset by what was happening to me and it made my Dad mad enough he wanted to torture me so I would forget everything.

One of the men had me set up a noose and liked watching me pretend to hang myself.  So Charles was one who was supposed to be a "big fish" but he wasn't sweet.  I adored him, and he was very charming and our personalities made sense, but he wasn't trying to rescue me.  He liked me well enough and we hit it off.  We joked and could speak the same language and I was not clingy.  He then told me about Camilla, his "girlfriend" and I was surprised he had a girlfriend because I had thought it was just me and him.  He asked for my opinion and advice about her.  He liked asking opinions and getting feedback.

I do remember now what a correlation was with Anne and fish.  The royals served fish for the first time, after Anne wanted to be sexually intimate with me and kissed me, and then when Granny and the rest of my family heard I'd had "fish" they all acted sick to their stomachs like, "Oh no."  I wasn't into women but I remember she got mad one day and wanted to try to prove something with me.  She ordered me to do this and that and kiss her and she did some things to me, but I don't remember that I actually did oral sex on her but I think she tried to demand it. 

After the fish and the stolen necklace, all at once, I wasn't back at the castle again.  I saw them on planes, but not at the residence.

I wasn't sure if Anne wanted to humiliate me then or was hoping I'd like women.  I remember her underwear and everything.  Big briefs.  I remembered being surprised because for all the royal splendor and beautiful surroundings and clothes and bedding and nice things, I think I thought she might have some kind of really spectacular underwear.  I believe I said something about it to Angus and Charles when I was in the helicopter with them and they laughed but looked uncomfortable and then after all the murder attempts, his son James Ogilvy started a paper or magazine called "Luxury Briefing" in 1996.  By that time, I had been implanted through a surgery in 1995 for remote torture after Mike Nichols hijacked my car and I think they figured my life was pretty much over.

So it was "safe" to bring out a title like that then.

My parents heard me talk about about the underwear to them too.  They all heard me. 

It is safe to say my son Oliver has never been safe because he is with the same people that are controlled by this group.

I would probably think more about the first tower and order and who was involved, because I am still thinking about it, and same for who was in the helicopter, or going there.

Other things that did occur, were sort of weird...Around the time Katie Middleton was born, my bedroom was turned into a nursery for a baby, and my bed taken away and a crib put there instead.  I had to sleep on the floor, and I never saw the kid.  So I figured while I was at practice or school, my Mom was watching some kid I never met.  Then my Mom changed my entire room again, back to a girl's room.

Of the things I got from England was a rocking horse.  It was a wooden one with handles and I loved nothing more than that and had it a long time until one day it disappeared.  I dragged it around with me everywhere, but it was hard to use on wooden floors.  I mostly used it on a carpet but I did ride it on wooden floors outside of the U.S.  Or, there was one there I rode and then one at my house.  I rode a rocking horse around the royals on wood floors.  I am pretty sure it was at their house with the wood floors in one place.  It's not where I usually rode it, but I dragged it over or someone did for me.  I remember I fell because it was sliding around.  Or maybe it was that they thought I would and commented on it but I didn't.

Also, about the royals vs CIA, if it wasn't the royals who knew I remembered their underwear, why try to kill me?  If it was just CIA and not really Angus and Charles I told, about things, chatting away like it was all common knowledge, the CIA wouldn't kill me over it or have the same motive to necessarily.  They'd just say it was all acting and not true.  If it really was the royals, they would be more concerned about being identified with some of the things that happened.

Other things I remember have to do with sitting at formal tables and being made fun of and forced to wear odd things for bibs and being restrained and also made to wear a "tail" and a dunce hat.   I can write more about that tomorrow.

The man who wanted to help me, the Japanese one, was shocked when he saw the scars in my lower back from Carol and Mike Middleton.  Both the Goldsmith-Middleton family and my family were torturing me and the scars were obvious and when he saw it, even though all the other things he did were sort of weird, he freaked out and backed off, scared.

Carol Middleton was not only torturing me with electricity to metal nodes that were in my back from a surgery (later my mother was taking spinal fluid samples from an open site, at my house), she was forcing lightbulbs from lamps (connected to a cord) into my mouth and other places and when they were in my mouth, telling me to "suck" on them, and then she would plug the cord into a generator and crank the electricity until they exploded.  She terrified me and I couldn't move.  Mike was not usually there at the house when she did all of this, but I saw them around each other enough to know they were married and knew they were husband and wife.

There is much more.  I will write about it a little later today.


No comments: