Saturday, September 14, 2013

How To Remember Your Childhood and Remember What You Forgot

I am still working on the last post about E.H., but I thought I would make this post for someone or those who want to go back and remember things from their past that they forgot or have sometimes remembered and then forget or repress and then remember again.

It isn't hypnosis and I don't know what I think about it aside from that it's not for me.  I don't trust hypnotists, for one thing, in having control over my thought processes because I think it's a manipulative state.  That's not to say I would discount its use for a very specific reason, 100% of the time, for everyone, but for me personally, I am not okay with it.  I guess if I went through many years of trying to remember things on my own and putting it together as much as I could, and had a very firm recollection set, then it is possible a hypnotist that is not a whack, could trigger some memory but then again, how would a hypnotist be able to trigger a memory unless they knew about or were working with those who helped create your experiences to begin with?  I suppose a hypnotist could help you "relax" and allow you to explore your own memories, but something like even a counselor with insider knowledge about your experiences could say or do something that would trigger a memory, or possibly do something they even know would confuse it or erase it.

What I think is helpful is visualizing and remembering back to a time and then trying to remember what was seen and heard, as if putting a movie in to replay.  You have the movie, but if you don't watch it all the time, you forget parts of it or maybe one day you forget a section but then you remember it later.  Aside from visualizing, which is something a lot of people have done, to the point of trying to remember "in order", another thing is involving the senses I think.

What did you wear when you were a kid?  If you wore skirts and tights all the time, trying to remember in a pair of loose jeans won't help as much.  You could put on a skirt and tights and for no explainable reason, remember what it was that happened when you were that young, you wore this everyday.

If you were sexually molested as a kid, and lie down to try to remember, you won't remember as much if you wear regular clothes, if the molestation occurred when you wore a long flannel nightgown.  So you have to get a flannel nightgown and try to remember while wearing that.  I discovered I remembered much more when I had on a house coat (long sort of nightgown style) than when I tried to remember wearing my jeans. 

I know I've made a post like this before, but there are things you can wear, and eat, and smell, and sense, that will bring your memories back to you and this is just an example.

I remember eating hot dogs as a kid, so I might get more hot dogs and remember, but if I think about what I remember before hot dogs, it was steak or chips and salsa or tacos, and I remember having wellington beef and roast beef with red potatoes and carrots but of course I'm vegan now so I am not eating these things to remember, at least not right now, though I am not saying I never will.  If I did, it would be for the purpose of specifically remembering things.  I also remember dog food or cat food once, pretend playing with my brother, but I remember when I did, it triggered a memory of being forced to eat cat food once.  They were x shaped.

Also, another thing is to pay closer attention to why you do something right after you read about something else.  For example, I wrote about some molestation and then decided to take a bath and that was normal and routine.  That time, though, I remembered soaping up my back first and it's not what I do now.  So it caused me to think why and notice and then I remembered things done to my back and why I was soaping up in the tub as a kid. 

However, if you've been a government "kid" or spectacle, they already worked out plots on how to mix you up because this isn't new for them.  They've had adults come back later, with incredible memories of abuse and torture done to them when they were kids and since those adults and agencies don't want to be sued or go to jail, they spend extra time trying to layer things, cover, hypnotizing you without your consent, and trying to mix things up, including even your responses to what order you do things, and they use men and women who even look close to each other. If they think something is bad enough they've done, however, they really will try to kill you.  They think of ways to program you to 'self-destruct' or kill yourself with very specific "accident planning" that involves many, many, people; they will rape you if that doesn't succeed, in order to degrade you and cut off your ability to  remember and report criminals.  Any kind of massive stress they can inflict on you, such as rape or torture, they will do, and they pay employees to do it because they want to deliberately disrupt you from making a formal complaint against them in court.

If they figured out how to create panic and distress in you, as a kid, to distract you or put you into fight-or-flight mode, if they don't succeed in killing you, they want to repeatedly batter and abuse and rape, to keep the "trauma" effects going.  They already know that if they "interrupt" that "girl" from any kind of normal stability, to the point of repeatedly commiting crimes against her, she will be distracted from organizing herself and making a report and taking it to court and suing them for every single God-damned thing they own.

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