Sunday, September 8, 2013

Edward Lee Howard and Torture of U.S. Citizens by U.S. (7)

...(9/10/13:  also, someone deleted a whole section about my parents holding a gun to my head, and my finding correspondence between my Mom and Katie and Mike Middleton and Edward Howard, so I have to go back and write about this again, and my section about the attempted assassination of me and who was involved, including Judy Roark knowing about it, is gone so if it seemed odd I brought up Kate Middleton out of nowhere, it was after I wrote about what I found between my parents and her)
Pg. 75 

I'm sure it was Forrest Tancer a couple of times because I remember the name and the comments.  I also think one of the private planes I was on was a Sterling plane or they were on it.  If not it was in Wenatchee through my Aunt Locklyn and Paul Cassel but I think it was a plane.

E.H. says Jerry Brown from the Alburquerque FBI called and wanted to talk to him.  This makes me think if E.H. put mention of the FBI right after “la trampa” he is insinuating they were tramps, probably of a sexual nature.  It also suggests a "whore" or "whores" or what FBI was involved in, or that the FBI is the whore.

He asked what they wanted and they said to meet him in a room at the Hilton Hotel.  E.H. says he responded to JB's request and walked 5 blocks from his office to the Hilton. 

Here I think, E.H. mentioned things coming to a "head" and for me, I remember talking to a man on one of the planes who told me his name was George Bush Jr. so although he wasn't a President then, his father was director of the CIA.  I don't know if this is possibly a suggestion or not.  When I read E.H. walked 5 blocks to meet them, I remember that after one of the times my Dad ejaculated on me, he said get dressed and we're going downtown.  So I did and we went past U.S. Bank which was next-door to the U.S. military recruiting offices and my Dad took in either one or 3 VHS tapes to them.  There were a bunch of tapes at the floor of the backseat, where the rolled up rug had been and in its place, VHS tapes.  So he said grab any of them and I did and took them into the military.

I would have to see a photo of Forrest to know because I remember one of the men joking about the "black forest" to refer to another man.  Then later, in high school in a totally different state, there was one black man named Forest at my school and my date wanted to double date with him so I think the "black forest" theme was not lost on the government-connected kids.  I wouldn't implicate anyone completely without seeing photos and knowing.

When I asked my Dad which ones to grab (of the VHS tapes) he said "any of them".  I said what's on them and my Dad said oh, just movies he thought they'd enjoy seeing or that they'd asked to see.

E.H. says on the way he sipped a can of soda and watched surveillance cars pass by, and then in the lobby, 2 men stood up to meet him.  One was large with glasses and about 50; the other was thin, tan, about 45 with dark "beady" eyes.

What I remember is we got a can of pop and waited in the lobby until 2 men came out and I was watching cars pass back and forth and said to my Dad, "Those cars keep going back and forth looking in at us and it's the same cars".  I knew we were being surveilled. 

He says the man said “Thank you for coming Mr. Howard,” I’m Jerry Brown and this is Mike Waguespack, from our Washington counter-intelligence office.”  He asks what he can do for the and Mike says it would be better if we went to our room to discuss things.

Pg. 76.  He says they went out to get something and that there was a map on the table of Vienna, Austria.
This makes me think of Vienna sausages, sort of the in the male genitalia sense, with a chapter title like “La Trampa” and I also remember a large map in the U.S. military offices. 
E.H. says George Morgan showed up, his former boss from the CIA and said the FBI would handle things from there.

He says Mike asked him if he’d seen the Oleg article and asked if it bothered him and E.H. said no and Mike said “It should have (paraphrasing) because he named you as an informant”.  He says he was amazed but at “least now the meat was on the table”. 

This again seems to suggest men’s genitalia with the reference to Vienna and then I remember as a kid, holding a hot dog weiner next to me at the lunch table wondering why girls looked different from men.  I did it all the time, pondering, and my Mom would say “Put the weiner on the table Cameo.”  I always denied I was checking and then finally I put it on the table.

So he tells them no, he's not a KGB informant and pg. 77, MW is not pleased.  "Look, why don't you just tell us what you've been up to and rest easier..."

"No, no, no!  You're wrong!" E.H. says he said and MW said "Yes, we're right!"  E.H. says a trip he made was no secret and the expenses are all on the American Express card, and that they went to Milan, then to Munich for the Oktoberfest.  He is asked if he's ever seen a man with German features and he says no.

They asked him to take a polygraph and he says not after they ruined his life over a polygraph and says, "I try not to make the same mistake twice." 

I was given a polygraph at different times, the time I remember being with a metal box that generated paper.  I sat at our kitchen table in a chair, with my Dad next to me and answered questions and I also sat on the living room floor and had it taken there on the carpet.  It was a metal box with paper and I also remember at other times, a reel-to-reel tape recorder for recording audio, as well as a normal recording machine and then our stereo system, VCR and T.V. 
Pg. 77.  E.H. says MW wasn’t happy with how things were going and started to bully him  saying “We’re going to get to the bottom of this, with or without you, and we won’t give up until we do.”  He says they can make his life hell on earth and they threaten his 2 year old son.

When he then says he’ll get a lawyer and sue their ass off, this statement makes me think of only 2 people I knew in 1995 and before who talked like this and it was Robin Bechtold and Erica Ballinger.  Robin Bechtold became a lawyer in Texas and Ballinger was always threatening to sue James Bond (her son’s Dad).  When E.H. says they take their families but have one thing in common—they’re all hypocrites, lie, and never bat an eyelash and says JB says lawyers would screw thing up but E.H. says he knows how they operate.  I know Robin Bechtold and Ballinger are connected to Tancer so for me they have a lot in common.
With this I think about how I was also told to lie down on a sheet on our floor that was maybe over a tarp or something, and a different kind of electrical, mechanical box was brought out that had a probe or rod of some kind and it was put inside of me and I was electrocuted.  The gauges had a temperature range and this was being watched as it rose, but it wasn’t a thermometer, and it was an electrical thing.  A bowl of water was also brought out and water used, and then an iron poker from the fireplace was used to shove up me from the other end.  I screamed and they took a bloody sheet away.

Pg. 79.  He drives home and tried to concentrate on his work but gave up after 15 minutes.

My comment here is I am reminded how I believe I was also being tortured with other military technology at my house.  I could read an entire Anne of Green Gables book in an hour and I used to read all the time with my feet up on the top of a heater that had a grill and was inset into the wall.  I was always cold.  I read that way or with my back to the heater and once singed my hair.  However at some point, I started having odd and extreme back pain, which I now recognize as ultrasound technology kind of pain and it slowed me to where, if I still sat right there, I could only read a few sentences and then forgot what I’d read and had to start over, whereas if I moved away it wasn’t a problem.  As a kid I wasn’t sure, but it was so bad, I actually looked inside the grill because I wondered if someone had put something in there that could harm me.
I also read inside of my walk-in closet and was storing food in there because I was otherwise starving.  I set up a light and food and a blanket and books and would read and then one time I remember my mother was mad I was reading the Bible.  She didn’t seem to care if I read other books, but she was upset about that. 
He says the light blue Mustang and dark GMC follow him all the way to El Dorado and the FBI then shows up and asks to interview his wife and he says she can do as she pleases.

The only time someone asked for permission about me in front of me when I was an adult, where they were told to go ahead, was when Ken, a NJ lifeguard and teacher, asked my employer Brian Thebault, in 1993, if he could take me on a date.  He and Kevin were always together.  E.H. then adds, “the FBI pair approached Mary” and he calls a lawyer named Morton Simon.  


He says he’s not going to be their fall guy and that the whole mess is originating in Langely.  He says they stopped at Safeway and their surveillance was not discreet.  To my mind comes Jim Sandberg, who worked there, and how they were around my family all the time.  He puts on a poncho that night to walk around and a camper is set up to allow surveillance by a neighbor.  He thinks bless my neighbor’s heart to allow it.
This again makes me think of Sandbergs, at least because they changed their daughter’s bedroom to this red and white hearts theme all over, on everything.  We also camped with them.  We had a camper, a tent trailer, set up outside my bedroom once and I noticed someone in it.  I was told he’d be there a week or so.  Also, my brother and cousin Rory stayed out there one summer when cousins came to visit from a small town.  He says it was a small town full of provincial people (French potentially) who could be swayed by ideas of “national security” and would convince people to cooperate for search and arrest warrants.  He says in a larger town they might question Washington’s security claims but there, the deck was stacked against him.  He says they could keep him in jail or charge him with espionage and that acquitted car thieves get work, but not spies.
I think of how my jewelry began to disappear.  My real cameo necklace was stolen and my ice cream cone necklace that I wore all the time, and when I asked about it, my parents were smirking at me while eating ice cream and said they were having “French Vanilla”.  My brother had been shining a light in my eyes and I was waking up to his holding pocket knives inches from my face as well.
With the car thief mention, I found out my Dad did this as a juvenile so I don’t know what would be implied.  He says probation terms were bad enough and that if he was even convicted of bed-wetting it would be 7 years. 

With the mention of jail and charges of espionage and probation what comes to my mind, from that era for me would be how the U.S. wanted to kill me, sexual abuse me and traffic me as their courier, and then confine me, have me charge with my vehicle or body to my death, and how they raped me repeatedly.
I was also locked in my closet for a long time the one time I remember wetting my bed and had my blankie taken from me.
He says he thought about escaping.
Pg. 82.  He says the FBI surveilled them and Mary took them through muddy roads so they couldn’t follow and had to try to get through in heavy rain, and says it was nice for David to have a victory over Goliath.
E.H. surprises a tail by telling them to call him and JB calls to say they would rather meet at the hotel room.  He said he thought they probably had a tape recorder there but met them anyway. 
My comment is that I thought I was possibly being videotaped or audio taped.  I first thought about being audio taped when my Mom was prompting me to say things out loud I knew would sound nuts standing on their own.  For example, “Did you see someone go in your room?” when someone went in to pretend they were a ghost in a white sheet and I’m going to say, “Yes, someone came in, in a white sheet” and be ridiculed about “seeing ghosts”.  I think that exact conversation came up in fact.
Pg. 83.  He says FBI were not happy with the delay but he told them he was flying to Austin on business and that he was going 1st class courtesy of  a frequent flyer bonus.  He says he joked they hoped they wouldn’t find it necessary to send their boys first class too and that it would cost unnecessary taxpayer money.
My comments here would be that I believe FBI was on some of the flights I was one, where I was kidnapped and beat up and tied up.  When he says frequent flyer miles, I remember it was joked I could go first class to New Jersey as a nanny because of this.
I had actually had a couple of papers that I was told I could use for life, and my mother tore them up.  One was a document from an airline that gave me free flying with their airline for the rest of my life and one was some kind of paper with my name on it that gave me rights to something but I don’t remember what.  My mother waited until I said guinea pigs chewed it and without letting me clarify just the edges and not the writing, she tore it up to match the sound of my guinea pig chewing on paper and looked at me with hate. 
I was constantly on a plane.  I spent part of most weeks on a plane and they were overnight trips.  I don’t know how young I was when they started but possibly very young.  The ones I remember are a bunch of trips with some royals and others, then some fake royals or people covering for the first ones, and then a group that seemed more like actors but were also pilots.  The planes I was on most of the time were private planes and I would go in between the cockpit and the rest of the cabin except for when I was tied up and locked in a bathroom.
I remember coming back to the house in Moses Lake, Wa and being there only part of the week.  Every time we got back from a flight, there was a note on the fridge and it was usually very clean and in order.  The one time it was a total disaster I was told to put all the little brown paper sacks and bottles into a larger bag, as had been done on a plane earlier as well.  That plane was larger and more commercial but most of the trips I recall were on a private plane.  One time, it was really strange…everyone said something was wrong with the plane and everyone had to go to one side instead of the other for weight purposes and there was fear, but I don’t remember why.  It doesn’t make sense to me now, thinking about it, how moving the weight to another side of a plane would help it fly better in a storm or turbulence or something.  But it was said there was too much weight on one end.  I remember the crown woman being on that flight.

My Dad’s luggage I remember and it had a swiss cross on it somewhere. 

There was a pilot I remember as Charlie I think and he let me fly with him with just me in the co-pilot seat.  Usually there were 2 men.  With the royal group, that is, with a woman who put her crown in a dresser drawer on the plane, my Dad had said ahead of time what to say but I think the two Bobs told me different things.  So when I saw her and she asked me questions, I think I panicked and mixed up my answers.  One question was “Do you think I should be Queen?” or “Do you think you should be Queen?” and the other question was “If a crown is held above your head does that make it a halo?”  She looked like Princess Diana and I can't think of who else it was supposed to be.  She was blond and looked like Diana, whose photo I noticed later because at the time, I didn't know who was who with royals.

The answers were a yes/no response and the other response was “I don’t think it would be professional”.  I am pretty sure the question was “Do you think I should be Queen?”  when I answered with “I don’t think it would be professional”.  She then looked puzzled and said, “Why do you think it wouldn’t be professional?” and I said, because no one had coached me on this part, …I had no idea what to say now and I thought I had mixed up the order of responses so I said, flustered, and with my hands sweating, “I don’t know.  It’s not really a real job.  Maybe you get a real job like, I don’t know, maybe a teacher!”  If I remember correctly, I said something about maybe a job where “you could help people…maybe like a teacher or something.”  I  only said what came to my mind when asked, without any knowledge really.  I was coached on the first part and on my own with the rest.  When I later told my Dad he looked mortified and I thought, "Oh no...I got it wrong?"
I was sweating because for one question she told me to hold out my hand and took out a sharp small knife, and for the other question she raised the crown above my head.  I am sure I was panicked because of the knife because I’d been cut before.
At first she looked surprised and then she had an expression mixed with fear, deep searching, and empathy, and then she got sort of mad and firm looking.  (She had a wry smile for a brief moment, that was sort of like this one photo of her with her profile facing left and her nose sort of tilted with that kind of smile, in her jacket with sort of a French crown braid to her hair.)  I didn't know if she was mad at me or thinking about something else.   Then, if I remember correctly, she cut me and I didn't know why she'd cut me, like a small nick somewhere.  What the mark was for, I have no idea but it scared me.  I didn't know why half of the adults did what they did.  I don't remember positively which hand she told me to give her but I think it was my left.  Well, I shouldn't say. It was maybe my right.  It was the wrist somewhere.  I just looked at my wrists and the most visible marks, at first sight, are a / on the left wrist and a \ on the right wrist but I don't remember if she cut both or just one because I remember my Mom later cutting me once.  So I am not positive but I am positive she cut me.  If I thought about it more I might remember but that is what I can say honestly for now.

Our plane almost crashed.  We were all told to run to the front of the plane and I sort of think, slightly, to the right if I am looking from the tail of the cabin.  They told me to run over there and everything was tumultuous.  I don't remember if the storm was before or after they tried to have me sucked out of the plane by opening the emergency door but it got windy.  The only person I remember there, telling me to run over there is the crown woman, maybe because she was taller than others, but I do remember her there.

You know what is really weird, is in 1996 I got a parakeet and named him Jonah.  I don't even know why.  I think it's because possibly I remembered the "Anne" or "Queen" saying "She's bad luck" after I didn't go out the window/door of the plane, and I thought the turbulence that happened was my fault, like I was Jonah that had to be thrown off the ship.  I remembered thinking that as a kid because I thought why would she say I'm bad luck? 

My Mom was the one to give the hand motion and tell me to open the window or door.  They had trained me on how to do it, and my Granny was preparing for it, along with my Mom and Dad.  I opened it the way I was told and the whole door flew open leaving me to unexpected suction to suck me out of the plane.  I hit my arm on the door as it flung open and then I had both hands on the frame, about to be sucked in concave in the middle, into the white cloudy sky, and then I somehow flung to the side and smacked against the wall.  I think I remember a man there for a moment to my left, but I am not sure, and it was long after I should have been sucked out of the plane.  What I recall, is that when I looked over to find out why my Mom hadn’t run over, she was standing there with a camera as if expecting me to go out the door and I sort of think because of this I was alone.  Another woman was standing there, this mean woman who poisoned my drinks after that, and possibly the crown woman as well because she was next to them.  So I walked over and they had sat down and my Mom was studying a watch or locket with a baby photo in it and a camera was there and then there were photos of male genitalia I believe.  I wasn’t sure what to think.  Then as I stood there and the crown woman asked me if I wanted to sit next to her I said I’d stand.  I was scared of her after she cut me, and I couldn’t understand why they were acting like it was no big deal I’d almost died.  And then off to the tail of the cabin another woman came out like clockwork, and she had her hands together and when she saw me she stopped dead and froze and said, “She’s bad luck”.  I thought, “What is this? I’m Jonah or something? What does she mean bad luck?”  and I think she meant “alive”.  Then she said did I want to go over there with her and I said, “No, that’s okay, I’m fine over here” and I knew her to be Anne and said something and then out of the blue these two men came out from behind curtains that separated the cockpit and a hall area and one said, with a British accent, when I or someone else said the name “Anne” out loud, tried to go over me and said, “That’s the Queen”.

I do remember now, the storm of turbulence was that same day.  It wasn't raining, but they were worried about the plane to the point of everyone panicking to one side.  You know what is strange, which I just thought about, is that everyone was to the front of the plane cabin already, and I was told to run, coming from the tail of the plane, when my wrist(s) had been cut to go over there.  I guess the reason I think it's strange right now, at this moment is I remember hearing about Diana or someone said Diana cut her wrists in the bathroom and then ran through the cabin smearing them around.  I don't really know what it's all about but it does seem odd.  I don't remember bleeding all over the place, for myself but I maybe went to the bathroom crying about the cuts and then ran out when I was told to because of turbulence, and the bathroom was in the back.  I also remember all of the adults staring at me in horror and astonishment, like I had caused the storm on my own.

I will say this:  I do know, without any doubt, there was a miracle that day and everyone knew it.  I remember it happened after I almost went out the door of the plane and didn't.  I don't remember exact timing but I remember that.

After this and maybe before this too, I remember being in a room where there was a large bed and someone, a man who was royal I think, had been going in and stroking my hair and talking to me and then gave me butterfly kisses on my cheek.  I also had a table in that room where I drew and painted with watercolors and the crown woman and others would come over and pick up what I was drawing and look at it.  I gave one to a man named Mike who was there all the time.  I found "Mike" taking a lot of "naps" with my Mom and when I asked my Mom why she said it was a nap.  So I said, "Well why is your face so red and sweaty from a nap?" and another time I asked why she was taking naps "naked".

They put a fan in the room after I asked those questions and I was moved from sleeping on that bed to sleeping on a couch across the room from the bed.  I remember the pictures I drew gathered interest.  I made more of “Mommy and Mike” than “Mom and Dad” and one man who said he was a cattle rancher wanted one and I drew one for him.  I drew a lot of pictures for people.  At some point I was drawing things and the crown woman (who looked like Diana) came in and was picking it up and asked what it was and she had this serious and concerned look on her face.  I said it was Charlie planning a car crash  (something like that) and I was just drawing different ideas and maybe I’d overheard something but she had this deep quizzical look on her face and when I was asked to explain it, I chattered on and on and they wanted me to shut up (some of them).  The more I talked, the more irate this one woman became and after that she began bringing me my juice with poison in it.

When I ran over to that side of the plane I had not wanted to because I hadn’t wanted to leave the bathroom and I was scared of them.  As I did, crying,  I accidentally smeared blood on the seat or window by a section without  a seat and I remember they all noticed.  I remember some of them looked at each other and sort of smiled like I was marking something or it was what they wanted.  No one was mad about it.

I think the wrist that was cut was my right one maybe because it was the right side of the plane, if you ran up from the back, that would seem to smear but I don’t know because I turned against a wall or door too.

I had overheard some of the plans for the “accident” and then I didn’t say anything until I was asked about my drawing and I got in huge amounts of trouble from it.  This one woman began bringing my juice to me and I would throw up violently after a few sips.  I always had red juice or wanted red juice.  I realized I was throwing up every time this woman brought my drink so I quit drinking and became dehydrated. 

I was then sleeping on a couch in the bedroom and if something happened I was calling out for “Mike” and then one day I went to the bed and the man who had tears in his eyes wasn’t Mike.  It had looked like Mike from the back and he usually took a nap in there and I saw him coming and going plenty of times.  So the man tried to have me be quiet and then another man came in and beat me up. I was told not to ask for Mike anymore and don’t go to the bed and stay on my bed.  So whenever I accidentally called out “Mike”,  this “guard” by the door, ran over to me, punched me in the stomach, beat me until I blacked out, and hog-tied me.  At least one of the times, it was my Dad.  I was given barf bags by the couch because I was throwing up every night.

One of the men who came into the room said he was a cattle rancher and that he was my Dad.  I remember we talked about horses and cows a lot.  He wanted to know all of my interests.  Then another man came in who also said he was a cattle rancher and I happened to ask him his name and he said George Bush (Jr.) and we joked about his name.   I made him a drawing when he asked for one and I think I gave one to the other man too because he asked.  One of them wanted to just talk and other ones showed me their genitals. 

When I was being prepared to get sucked out of the plane to my death, I was being trained to open the door the wrong way.  My Mom and Granny would check by telling me to get a box of something from the pantry and using a hand motion.  Granny would say get the angel food cake but I was trained it meant to go more to the other side, where the devil’s food cake was.  She would test me at different times and I always thought, later when I was old enough to remember, why am I getting the wrong one instinctively when I know what the right one is?  But it was from being trained to do the opposite when she used a signal.  My Mom checked the same thing at her house at least once but Granny did it more.

I was also being taught “emergency fire drills” at the Mormon Springers house and my house.  The Springers had a 2-story so practiced going out the window and tying a sheet together for it.  Most of the training was at their house, on how to push open the window.  Then it was at my parent’s house and I was trained on following a command to open the window.  The other person who possibly checked to see if I was doing things in reverse or whatever, was maybe the crown woman because she had the knife and checked my panic response but I don’t know if she knew and she didn’t train me all the time, aside from how to put the crown away.  I was allowed to open the drawer and put the crown away or look at it and put it away and then it would be moved by someone to a higher drawer after they let me.  So then when I was asked to open the window, even though it was an emergency door, I did what the people who trained me to do, following their command with the way they said things and used their hand to signal and my Mom was the one to tell me.  I did what I was asked, and I was almost outside of the plane to my death instantly.  I should have died, and it wasn’t like there was a safety person right there—it was like the accident that was supposed to happen and then didn’t.

When it didn't happen, I knew they had tried to kill me.  Not all maybe, but some.  I knew what I had been trained to do and instantly recognized I'd been set up to go to my death and it was supposed to look like an unfortunate accident.  I wasn't dyslexic and I hadn't made a mistake.  I did exactly as they had been training me do.  They were also working on my "brake failure" training for a car "accident".












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