Thursday, September 26, 2013

Edward Lee Howard and Torture of U.S. Citizens by U.S. (16)

I am still commenting about E.H.'s book but several things I've remembered, most which I've written about before but a few things with a little more clarity.

I realize of course, things like how Robin Bechtold, who worked with others to attempt to murder me, also knew about my being around executions of traitors as a kid, because they had to take their watches off first, and he made a big deal about doing this before he raped me and then about putting it on.  Everything he did was out of violent revenge.  He was not the only one, but at different times I remember other parts of things.

I think the U.S. or Mossad wired me and "bugged" me so that then when I was taken to the bog for the executions at the quicksand (or other places), they could listen to everything.  They used me every inch of the way.  When people got there they had to take off their watches and jewelry.  Everything else they left on.  I did get a "pin" from the plane people I think, but I know the woman who said she was French snuck a pin to me, silver in color, with a bird on it.  When my Dad found it on me later in Moses Lake, he was furious and I thought he was going to kill me.  Instead, he and Gary Goldsmith stole it from me when they jumped me in my bedroom.  It was either before or after they jumped me that I had a metal hook stuck into my back.  If that pin went anywhere, it went with Goldsmith and Middleton.  Even though the woman was dying, there was no reason to suggest she did not want me to have it.  She may have known some things about the entire situation that I did not.  I never stole anything from anyone there--I wouldn't have thought of it because I didn't steal or wasn't a thief at that time in my life, even if I maybe took a pack of bubblegum at a store once and then returned it.  If I took anything, it was food, because I was hungry.  I had no estimation for the value of jewelry and wasn't that much into it either.  She definitely gave me the pin and because there had been guns around and she made it a secret, I didn't tell anyone about it until I showed my Mom once.   Gary Goldsmith showed up and jumped me with my Dad and electrocuted me.  When they got off of me I saw my pin was gone.  I think I heard Harry once said about Kate, "She's got great pins."  Indeed.  Probably my deed too.  That woman didn't give Katie the pin, she gave it to me, and if she had thought I was her enemy, she would not have given it to me or had any idea I had said out loud I wanted a 'pin' and that I would prefer a 'pin' to other jewelry.

It was all in England and the men and women on those trips, one of them, had a very nice short and proper British accent that was very commanding and sounded nice.

When I was then in the U.S., my Dad tried to kill me in quicksand.  He and Scott Sandberg decided to take me out for a hike in natural wilderness area.  Scott said he was going back to the car for lunch, for our picnic lunch, and that it was about 45 minutes away or so.  He thought it might take him an hour or less, I can't remember.  So then my Dad led me to quicksand I didn't know was there, saying let's look around.  He got in too and then got himself out, so he was covered in it and then made no attempt to get me out.  He just stared at me with hatred.  As a kid I thought, "He's trying to kill me and then wants to make it look like it was an accident and he almost died too".  I was screaming "Help!"  "Help!" and then Scott came back saying he had forgotten the car keys or something and if they staged it that way on purpose to make me think my Dad wanted to kill me, I don't know.  If he hadn't come back or someone hadn't tried to help me, I'd have died there.  When my Dad heard someone coming he broke off a branch and held it out to me.  In every way I thought his actions were guilty, but if it was acting, just for me, it was the best acting I've ever seen.

Another time, both my Mom and Dad seemed to want to kill me by an "accident" on ice over freezing water.  They took me out onto the ice where they had made a fishing hole.  Jim Sandberg was there.  Someone pushed me into the hole and I was in freezing ice-cold water in all my clothes.  They grabbed my hands and helped me out but another time, I was taken onto thin ice on a lake, and they let me fall through while they stood at a distance.  The ice had more of an irregular jagged opening there because it wasn't an ice hole and I remember being under the water and seeing a sheet of ice above me and knew to stay by the opening and not under, so I put my arms out over the ice and was trying to crawl out, on my own, without breaking the ice up further.  They just stared at me.  My Mom and Dad had not looked like they wanted me to live at all.  I screamed and then my brother was there watching so they got some kind of a board or rope and threw it and I had to grab it and pull myself across on my belly to distribute my weight and not puncture through again.  I had hypothermia from that time. 

They kept pushing on my stomach and all this water was coming out and I had turned blue and was shivering.  I couldn't breathe very well because the water was so cold it had slowed everything down.  When I was pulled out of the ice hole I was cold and I think there too, I had some water in my lungs but I remember fighting it more because Jims boots were right there and my Dad and people so I grabbed someone's ankles to pull them in with me unless they pulled me out.  They weren't helping me at all and stood there, watching me, and looked like they couldn't wait until I was dead and then I reached out and grabbed a shoelace and then a whole ankle or ankles and they fell.  From what I remember, it was maybe my brother, who was also standing around watching and we were older then.  Older than the time where I was expected to die on the thin ice.  No one wanted anything to happen to Levi so then when they grabbed him I had ahold of his other end and was kicking at them and since Jim Sandberg had his walkie talkie with him, I grabbed it from him.  I pressed the button and send a broadcast that they were trying to kill me and gave my name.  All of them backed off.  My Mom, Dad, Jim, and my brother was recouperating and hated me for grabbing him to drag him down.  Meanwhile, he'd been standing around waiting for me to die.  It was a red button I think, on the walkie talkie, but I don't remember. I just knew how to use one because I had used them at Grandpa Garrett's house and cabin and other places so I knew how to operate a walkie talkie.

For all I know, it could have been a police walkie talkie and I had just grabbed it and ratted on him.

I don't know if walkie-talkie is the same thing as what I mean but it wasn't just a one-to-one walkie-talkie or "monitor" you used around the house.  It wasn't like he handed it to me either, or gave it to me.   After that, I realized my brother was "in on" trying to kill me and it didn't stop there. 

Another time a cable car that moved up and down on a thick steel cable "broke down" with Jim and Shirley in it.  It was after I had grabbed Jim's walkie-talkie or cb or whatever from him and he used the time in the cable car for threatening me with a knife.  He tried to have me killed from the cable car, and then another time I went rock climbing with all of them and had a harness and there were lines with it and someone cut my line.  They had expected me to take my next step or move and fall, but I tested it first and saw the line had been cut.  I grabbed onto the cliff and I didn't let go.

While maybe a few times could be "testing" me or be claimed to have been part of training...not that many times, and not in that many ways.

And look at where Katie Middleton is now.  Exactly where Bob and Dicksie Garrett and others wanted her to be, with her criminal pedophile Uncle Gary Goldsmith.

My Mom took out a knife and cut the line when she expected me to fall, in mid-air (at the side of a cliff with a straight-down drop) and I reached out and grabbed a cleft in the rock and defeated fate, and it was my Mom, my Dad, and a couple they were climbing with who I believe were Joy Sterling and Forrest Tancer or Valerie Plame and Joe Wilson.  After this, when I moved to Oregon, Robin Bechtold wanted to take me "rock climbing" and I said no and all he could talk about was rock climbing and I thought even then he was attempting to replace memory of a planned assassination against me with his talk about it.  I remember more the name of Valerie on that rock climb.  They weren't people we usually did things with, openly.

Why try to kill me that hard unless you're worried I am going to expose murders, theft of my property, and a whole plot to put Katie Middleton in a power-position while torturing other kids?  Obviously, the CIA and Mossad had an agenda.  I think Robin Bechtold looks more like Mossad than CIA.

I remember rock-climbing with maybe 3 groups of people:  the Sandbergs, the Tancer-Sterlings, and Plame and Wilson.

The look on my Mom's face when she cut my line was priceless.  Moreso, the look when I clutched onto the cliff and didn't die.  Severing the umbilical cord?  She didn't look at me with tears, like it was breaking her heart to have me die.  She looked like a woman on a revenge mission who couldn't wait.

A different time my Dad unhooked something or the rope slackened but there was a small landing there that anyone could have reasonably fallen on and stayed on the ledge.  Not so at the point where my Mom cut my line.  Right before she cut my line she gave a code out loud.  So either she was reporting to someone she was wired or bugged to, or she knew I was bugged and wired with devices in my body or something, and she said it for those people to hear.  It was really professional.

I was then hunted down by Lorraine Wilson when she knew I didn't remember or wasn't thinking about it, and my brother married Carmen Wilson, who thought it was funny when my brother said, "Look!  There's a fork in the road!" knowing I had had my tongue branded at Granny's with a roast fork.

I also remember and know one of the women on the private planes or larger planes too was Carol Middleton.  She gave my mother the set of earrings she was wearing one day when I said I liked them.  She had bleached her hair out blond.  When she babysat me, she was a brunette (at her house), and then later she bleached her hair out, and wore it in a ponytail on the planes.  I think she also had it brunette on the planes for awhile when I saw her.  I remember her more at her house than on the planes.

I am remembering other things.  It is finally making a little more sense to me about some of the monks and priests because I remember I was forced to give oral sex to a priest that knew the Guzmans.  To make fun of me over it later, or pressure me not to tell, among the things that were done to me was I had plates, like small dinner plates, forced in between my teeth like wafers for communion and then ...I think maybe he was the one who said "push" in the way that upset me and possibly he was darker complected and French (Bernard? not sure).   I will think about it more because I don't like to but he was a prominent figure for some time.  I remember he and Mike Middleton wore similar pants with similar flys at the opening.  He used to "bless" me and give me a wafer and then later someone was putting plates in my mouth and forcing my teeth down on them.  I don't remember if they were dessert plate size or saucer size but I think the saucer because he sometimes had coffee or tea.  Then later my Dad was wearing pants like Mike Middleton and the priests to cover for them so I'd see him with that kind of pant and not think of them but I was old enough to remember and it happened many times so I remembered.  There was a switching around of belt or no-belt too.

So then it becomes this odd cover up scheme between many different kinds of groups.  I know he was Catholic because of the blessing and cross and wafer.  There was one in Cashmere and then he either visited my parents in Moses Lake or someone tried to pretend they were like him once.  I also went to church with the Guzmans at least once and he was there.  I remember going more than once, but one time specifically.  Not just a couple of people knew about it.  For as hard as the Abbey priests and lawyers worked against me, they didn't have very much moral ground.  I wasn't even thinking about actual sex against me as a child when I sued them but I'm sure they knew all about it.  This was what would draw some Catholics and Jews together and unite them against me:  pedophilia.  Of course they vied for Katie Middleton.

I am absolutely positive about a priest in Cashmere and sort of wonder if I met someone from the Anglican church as well, in England.  I would have to think about it because right to start something is vaguely there but I can't say for sure.  Someone of Canterbury.  Of the priest in Cashmere--I wouldn't falsely accuse.  I have no doubt.  Which makes it strange then that Alvaro wanted to introduce a whole idea of a priest at his Aunt's house and then I later found out he knew Locklyn's family.

When I visited the Guzman's church, I remember they possibly got a new man or another one so at one point there were at least two priests and the older one scowled at me all the time and the younger one was the one I was forced to give oral sex to.  If the older one, I'd have to think about it more.

I also remembered I had some kind of sleep apnea when I was a kid. I don't know if it was learned or natural.  I remembered the priest when I experienced it while lying down and not to sound weird, but it's not a garbled sleep apnea but sounds like the intake of breathe from Tia Carrerre in "True Lies" at the ballroom dancing scene.  It is an inward breath of air like a big gulp of air that happens. I think it happened while I was awake because I got one of those home medi rubber water bottles or bladders and was lying on it.  I am pretty sure they used to put some kind of a smaller stuffed communion pillow under my back and neck sometimes, the priest did.

I see the newest Archbishop of Canterbury is a "Justin Welby" which is funny because the wad of paper my mother threw into my neckline, before cutting my rope while rock climbing, said, "Be Happy".  It was Bee Happy or Be Happy.  I wasn't supposed to see it because I was expected to die but I uncrumpled it and that's what it said.    Before cutting the line my Mom took the same tone as the man in England who would say: "State your nationality and embassy" or "state your nationality and agency" something like that and said, for someone to hear, something like "This is agent XXX, number *********, xxxxxxx.  I'm cutting the line."  And then she cut my line.  I believe she may have given another name or two and a code but I remember the identification was an intelligence matter.

I remembered thinking later about the woman who said my name wasn't my real name and it was something else and she was my mother, and thought what in the world.

Then I was holding on and my Mom looked nervous because she couldn't get to me or reach me with her foot.  I kept holding on and then all of a sudden, the most shocking thing was seeing a helicopter come from around the side of the mountain and a woman like Camilla, when I got in, saying, "Oh my God."  They looked shocked.  Not happy, or relieved.  More like, "What is that spider doing hanging onto the cliff with her fingers and feet?"  They expected I would fall to my death and then they'd pick up my mother.  I said I didn't remember meeting Camilla but I believe I did because I remember I recognized her on the helicopter.

Some of the people had been mad I was throwing spit wads down the bosoms of the royal women.  You know the scene in Pretty Woman at the table where she accidentally shoots a clam or pea or something across the table with the little fork?  Well, I was using their cleavage for targets at the encouragement of a man of course, but at the table.  I made good aim.

They decided to pick me up to spare some of them the gruesome other alternative.  They liked having the killings done out of their site, without their "hands or eyes" on it, so-to-speak.  I got hauled in and I believe baby Katie was on the helicopter, I'm not sure, but I think Mike and Carol were.  The person I remember most was the woman whose breasts I'd thrown spit wads into, with some help from Charles.  My Dad gave me the idea at my house, and I thought it was amusing to him or others so I tried it and Prince Charles thought it was funny.  He and both practiced secretly while the others started to glower and some landed in Princess Margaret's hair, one in Camilla's cleavage, and then I got the Queen.  I wasn't sure which was the bulls-eye:  the Queen or Camilla.

The people we were hiking with were already on the helicopter from what I remember.  They'd gone to the top of the mountain and were at the landing and my Mom and I were on the side further down. 

Prior to this I remember target practice in the woods and I am pretty sure I used a bow and arrow and then it was my Dad who threw knives.  I was told to aim for a tree or something with my bow and arrow and then later I was told to stand against the tree and my Dad threw knives at me, all of them near my head stuck in the wood and scaring me to death.  I was not happy about it.  They pointed to some kid and said, "You should aim for him" and I think once it was William of Wales.  Or possibly it was not him but someone joked about it later.  I think the kid was too old to have been William but it was a boy young enough to be tiny but able to sit up, maybe in a carseat or against the tree.  He had a red swatch of blood on his forehead and I was told to aim for him with my bow and arrow and I was going to.  I had already been trained with the bow and arrow and the rules where I was were so mixed up I thought it wasn't wrong at that time.  So I picked up an arrow, aimed, and then had it taken away from me and I was yelled at, put against a tree and then told to aim for an apple on my Dad's head with a knife.  They wanted to kill both of us it seemed.  Then when I got home to Moses Lake, my Dad was mad and aimed with knives with me against a tree.  He was able to hurl knives and they landed exact.  My Mom had another skill and I don't remember what it was.  My skill was the bow and arrow.

Kill Bill.  Just for me the church bells rang is true.

I loved the bow and arrow.  I wasn't into knives or guns as much but I loved that bow and arrow.  I was able to select my arrows and I graduated from one bow to the next and new quivers.  Then all of a sudden all of it came to a halt and I asked to go practice and was told no and then it became this idea that I had never used one or it was ignored.  Whenever I mentioned it, my mother got the willies about it.  Possibly, if they were trying to kill me, they didn't want me working on my skill. 

With my line being cut, the main thing that saved me was my foot found a solid groove.  I heard rocks crumble underneath me and at the last minute, I secured a firm footing into another groove that had a slightly deeper crevice.  I almost really did die. 

I think it's possible Charles didn't mind if I died and I say this only because he wasn't very happy when I got the aim at the Queen's cleavage.  He told me, "If you make the target into the Queen's shirt, I'll give you whatever you ask for."  So I did and then I asked for a royal flag and he backed out on his word.  None of them could believe I made the shot, but I made it.   What I remember I asked for, was the royal flag with the lion and unicorn and everything on it because I liked the unicorn.  He promised and he lied.  I was seriously devastated by it.  He said he'd have to talk to the Archbishop of Canterbury and maybe they could give me a flag of England, with George's cross on it, but he knew I had asked for the royal flag.  When I said the flag he promised to me was the one with the unicorn, the royal flag I saw, that I liked, because of the pictures, he balked and renigged on his word.  To me, it was like a king saying, "Whatever you ask for, if up to half of my kingdom, ask and it shall be yours."  No king or prince backs out on his promise, was how I felt.  A deal was a deal.  I made the shot on the first try, and I said what I wanted first.  It was a promise.  Actually, it may have been the other way around, that I asked for the flag of England and he kept saying he couldn't give me that but could give me a royal one instead and I didn't want it. I will have to think about it.  He said the Archbishop of Canterbury said "no".  I went to see him in person.  When my Mom cut my line, it was with a swiss army knife with a George cross on it.  If I spend some time rehashing the whole thing, I will clear up exactly which it was.  So then I got a U.S. flag and I cried and wasn't happy about it at all.  Not to mention the fact I got burned on the back for my request for a flag.  They made ME a flag.  It's too bad I hadn't been wearing a backless shirt when the helicopter came around the cliff to pick my mother up.   It was the difference between "I Capture the Castle" and "I Capture the Country" and he tried to wiggle out of what I asked for.  I think Diana knew because she wore red on the cover of George magazine!  Diana was not around at first, when I first met Charles and was introduced to me later.  I never had bad feelings about Camilla at the time and I rarely saw her.  I really liked Raine, of all things, because I wanted to have conversations and she engaged me in conversation and played piano (sometimes with gloves on).  I think, to this day, I am very much like Queen Elizabeth II but I have no form for comparison.  If Charles liked me so much, maybe he thought so as well.  Everything about me like her was deliberately extinguished by the U.S.  I thought Anne seemed practical and knowing-eyed and observant.  I liked "that lady Diana" for some of the glamor or interest she had in me and a few times I caught a range of emotions in her eyes.  She had kalidescope eyes more than any of them.  I could see the shifts in the weather in them.  I thought Edward was nice but I thought someone was trying to arrange a marriage to him in the future and I wasn't attracted to him simply because he reminded me of my Uncle Loren.  I think Charles Spencer thought I was a threat because he protected his sister, and I always saw him caging about like a panther.  He was not part of the group I remember torturing me there however (aside from possibly something on a plane).  Some of the younger male royals electrocuted me and mocked me and were horrible to me.  I did see a crystal ball and I saw movement in it but I don't know who it was with.  They were very much into psychic things and magic games.  There was a crystal ball, without any doubt. 

So they all tried to kill me anyway.  That's obvious.  Well, not "they all".  Many, and too many for me to fight off as a kid being tortured every day.  They brought in someone from almost every possible exit they imagined I could go through, to guard and prevent my escape and to create propaganda and defamation about me to distribute to others.

I was discussing the flag with Charles and he had me lie down, rubbed something on my back, and burned me and I ended up with a triangle on my back from a Mason.  I guess it was his imprimateur.  That's what he called it.  I screamed bloody murder.  I will have to think about it a little more however, because he also was concerned once when he saw what was done to me, and I remember Diana involved with burning my back, the Queen, my parents around, and Granny at different times because they tried to mix it up.

Later, when I was at dinner with them and Edward was around, I know when I got back to the house and my Mom said, "What do you think about Edward?" and smiled, I had said I wasn't attracted to him because, "He looks too much like Loren."  (Loren, my mother's brother).  He doesn't now really, but he did then.  She looked disappointed by it.

If Charles thought his son's hair color was "rusty" then so was mine, and Rusty was this kid who died and then I sent his parents a card with lots of smiley faces on it and "Smile!  Jesus loves you!" and I had very good intentions with it, but later, it's possible someone hated or feared me and I was supposed to go down with a "Be Happy" spit wad in my shirt.

I wonder if they called Katie Elizabeth Middleton "Bee". I don't know.  I have to say, I wasn't sure always sure who liked me or not.  So anyway.  I have an arrow on my back.

I did get tired sometimes of practicing with the bow and arrow, but I never wanted to quit.  I know when I asked to take it up in Moses Lake my Mom didn't like it but she'd been upset when I said once, could I take a break from practicing with the bow and arrow (just a rest).  I put hours into it.  So then all of a sudden, my bow and arrows and quiver became a "myth" and then someone brought over a golf bag with golf clubs and made me the "keeper of the golf clubs" and I was supposed to pick them out and choose them on the course.  One time someone took my arrow I had in my hand and broke it in half when I was practicing in the woods, and threw my arrows on the ground.  So then next, someone was breaking my leg by whacking me with a golf club.

High times at ridgemont high.

I don't remember if I ever killed an animal with my bow and arrow.  I possibly did, but I don't remember yet.

The reason why absinthe helps me remember is because Granny gave it to me after electrocution and branding me all the time as "medicine" and it burned the living daylights out of me.  Try taking absinthe on a branded tongue!  The other times I had it were with Prince Charles.  He used to ask if I wanted more and I would say, very politely, and quietly, "Yes please."  I didn't think of it as liquor, I just liked it. 

To the magic games and crystal balls next...

I actually saw things in the crystal ball.  I mean, it wasn't fairground-stuff, even though you can't knock a fairground psychic just because she works at a fair. I was asked what I saw and others saw things too. I can write more about it later, but it wasn't, like, an electronic crystal ball or a trick.  It was a plain crystal ball and then you looked at it, and I could see things taking shape in it and saw "movies" in it.

And there were magic shows for fun.

First.  Did I joust?  Yes.  I don't know who the hell taught me to joust in a suit of maille, but I jousted.  The other day, on my way to the liquor store actually, someone was kicking up some kind of karate session.  Timing was pretty good, because the man in the truck with a big triangle brace and a post in the center was right on time for me to kick the hell out of it.  I was just thinking of a good upper kick and there he was.  So, some of what I was "feeling" was karate and some of it reminded me of jousting.  The extended right arm and then pulling it in very slowly and precisely to the waist and back, that is with a sword.  Or jousting stick, pardon.  I thought, "Is this karate?" and yes, karate uses a similar movement but no, there was weapon in my hand and the movement was for drawing back slowly and then thrusting the joust forward.  In a way I felt a mixture of karate and jousting.  So I discounted the jousting until tonight buying French mustard "Maille" and I remembered the suit.  I wore a suit of maille myself.  Like a mummy.  And that stuff was HARD to dig into or poke with a joust.  Oh my gosh, I loved jousting.  I loved two thing as a kid...3:  riding bareback on a horse with a nice gait at full speed, jousting, and my bow and arrow.  I think they pushed me a little on the bow and arrow because I showed talent for it but either someone pushed too hard, or deliberately disappointed me so I was scared (maybe by breaking my arrows and throwing my quiver to the ground in a rage...all of my lovely stars, my arrows, scattered across the hearth of the land.  Horrible.  It is hard to estimate your own skill as a kid, but I would say I was very very good.  My mother knew it and she knew someone was cutting me down, even if she did so herself, and even participated or pretended to care, I was that good.  I was a toddler with a bow and arrow. 

Things I may have been good at:  archery.  flexibility (gymnastics? but a little too chicken in some ways or tortured the wrong way to induce fear), rock climbing (I had a grip and surety of feet), running, jousting.  That's for sports.  Horse riding as well.  Had I been trained, yes, and I did love horses and riding (running) fast.  I could have been a consummate horse rider in a heart-beat.  I, for one thing, jousted on a horse, with rings in the air.  I liked poking at the rings.  You sat on the horse at a fast run, out of the capult or whatever, and I must have sat in front of someone holding me and I used the joust to take the ring or wreath in the air on a post.  My dear God I do not think I was on that horse alone.  I remember I was to joust in maille and then got on a horse and then all of a sudden, I was told to put the joust through the center of the ring.  Loved it.  Then, okay, to 'dumb me down' a little, do you know what the ring was turned into?  A dog jumping through a hoop.  hahaha.  I wasn't supposed to remember jousting for a wreath on a horse anymore, I was suddenly in Moses Lake saying to the dog, "Jump!  jump!" as I held out a hula-hoop above ground.  I am not f8888ing kidding you.  I remember every single sensory aspect of the maille. It is as if someone is right now touching it and I am them, and can feel the depth, the links, the texture, in my own hands.  11:12 p.m. 9/26/13.  I still "feel" it, the jousting.  I went for the kill.  I remember at one point the person I jousted with could not believe how I was attacking and then tried to get back at me by tripping me or throwing me because I wasn't "friendly jousting" anymore.  I was aiming for the points.  In jousting, there is sort of a rule, with maille nonetheless, to go to the "pretend" targets.  You aim, and tap, and touch, and "check", but checkmate my mate is probably don't go for the kill and I went for it one day and that was the end of my jousting lessons.   My strength was in agility, quickness, and intelligence, and I could aim.  My weakness was upper arm strength.  My joust bent to an adults would not stand well.  So my weak point, I recall, was in trying to fend off a joust pressure with arm strength more powerful than mine.  On being adept, I had no problem.  I was not bad for my age, in arm strength either but I made someone mad I think.  They felt threatened.  My lessons were not quit because I wasn't good.  I was too good.  Oregon plates 115 EWL.  always haters around me.  I was good.  I remember even as a kid, I was good at archery and jousting.  DEAR GOD the JEALOUSY


They told me my name was "Anna".  The woman dying in the quicksand who told me she was my mother said my name was Anna.  She kept screaming at me, saying they changed my name and it wasn't my real name and my name was Anna.  I think she said the other part but I don't remember.  I don't remember what she said my last name was..  Later, I ended up being in this "play" in Moses Lake called "Annie".  I am seriously...not kidding you.  Either some poor woman died believing with all of her heart that she was my mother and my name was Anna, or it's true that my biological mother was murdered with me watching.

One thing I don't like the French for is killing all the gypsies.  That was very bad and mean.  So then I think, with all these killer Russians, some who probably hate my guts, why did they sort of speak up for them?  Gypsies me.  Not all of them, all the way, but we have something in common.

I would love to get into jousting gear again and just "feel" it.  Not fight because I am so old now and don't remember, but just feel it.  My dear god I was good.  They really trashed me for it.

Oh my dear God.  My God.  Spumoni.  Spumoni God. They really hated me for being blessed and cursed me for it.

What a bizarre juncture now.  The song "The 5-Point Heart Exploding Technique" came on just as I had been crying and remembering some of these things and made myself sour bread toast with Maille Dijon Original mustard and marinated artichoke hearts.  I would say the 5-point heart exploding technique is a check in joust.  Check, check, check, check, checkmate.  And then you lick all 5 fingers after touching the heart, and then you lick the sword. 

No one told you about me.  Did they.  No one told you what I was trained for, who I was trained by, and who exploited me.  No one told you about me because you've been fed the fucking lie.  How does it taste?

When jealousy hits, the best are oppressed and sub-verts are promoted to excel over those who have demonstrated the most ability.  Where did this kind of "operation" occur actually?  I do not even mean those with most ability but including those who are able to lift up others who are oppressed.  That is not what they wanted. 

I jousted with my mother.  I knocked the joust out of her hands as a kid, and I jousted with others, but they didn't allow me to joust after that.  If someone switched my mother with someone else, like a royal, and I didn't realize it, I didn't know.  But I was winning the matches and what I remember is when I won against my Mom, I was no longer allowed to joust.  I jousted with royals as well, and it is possibly someone was a royal and beaten by me and felt offended when I was a partly inexperienced or young kid, but I remember my Mom being there without any doubt.  I remember karate with long flowing white outfits, and I remember the maille and jousting and how I was not allowed to joust after I won a round against an adult. 

My maille was solid white and mesh.  For the jousting I had a helmet and for the horse tournament I had a helmet with a visor.  I had some armor as well and it was extremely heavy.  I have no idea where they got armor for a kid, but they had it.  I was 100% under armour.  There were even kinds of amour or boots to wear.  I remember walking on the ground in it and saying it felt like a robot.  It was so heavy they considered having me not wear it but I wore it.  There was no way I wore just "mesh" or "maille" to the tournament.  I did hold an actual sword before but my jousting spear was a regular one, with some flexibility in the pole, tight fit at the hand and a sharp point.  I followed all of the rules in jousting until someone said, "Okay, now the rules are discarded--we want to see you fight as if it's for real" and I beat my mother.  I still remember the look of "awareness" in her eyes when I went after her and I think it made her feel threatened.  I just went with the sense of competition and I checked all the 5 points and then disarmed her.  After that, I thought I had succeeded and done well, and instead, I was punished and not allowed to joust again.  I also jousted with men.  It was possibly when I disarmed the man I was not allowed to joust anymore and then it was blamed on my mother.  Men do not like to lose to a "little girl".  I think his name was Colin or Cullen.  There was one man I enjoyed jousting with and had many matches with and that was possibly Prince Edward.  You know, "Edward", the one who I thought looked like my Uncle.  I had fun jousting with him.  Good match.
  I remember you Eddddy.  I actually am not sure if the one who was so elegant in form was maybe Prince Philip.  One of them came out with a style that was not at all lost on me or unnoticed even as I was a kid.  It was graceful, strong, and intellectual all at once and very nice.  I do think the Queen may have later jousted with me once because there was one person they wouldn't identify later and they identified everyone else so I thought it was maybe the Queen.  She was very deliberate and made quick work.  It was a short match but I never took offense from anyone because I thought some had more experience and it was to be expected.  I do remember, too, I did see this look in my Mom's eyes like she was proud of me and nodding that I had beat her even if she was shocked or she just agreed to give in because she nodded.  A couple of men (younger ones but not younger than me) seemed offended I was better than they and when it came down to it I asked my Mom later and she said some people didn't want to acknowledge those who didn't have "papers" because they didn't like the "competition".

So anyway, after I had everything done to me from giving me blows to never recover me and branding me and lying to me and being walked on, who knows, maybe they all thought the joke was that I was a "snake".  Why else would Katie wait until the year of the snake to have her public kid, after all of the torture me anyway?  No other reason than sheer hate.

Anyway, from what I remember, I was more matched to Edward in jousting than Charles.  Edward was a fine jouster.  And who would know if this was true or not but the royals and their courtiers?  Of course they know what I'm talking about.  There was a very nice intellectual and physical match there and it's where I learned the word "touché" of course.

From what I remember, I had to joust with all of them.  Of them all, my match was Edward.  Yes, I would agree.  I had more fun and challenge with him jousting than all the rest, and it was a contest of "under wrap" or anonymity, and not knowing sometimes, who you were up against and then it turned out the one I had most fun with, and sweaty challenge, was Edward.  So someone probably picked up on that.  He held out against marriage until 1999, a year after I was raped by Jew Josh Gatov, for whatever reason.  Maybe the contract was that I was to be a virgin.  Who knows what ideas they had, but of course, the Jews would rape me and keep raping me and raping and raping and then keep getting U.S. protection for Israel.  ???  Maybe I was betrothed to him.  How would I know?  I think it's also possible he was part of trying to kill me, so whatever.

But yes, I laughed with "Andy" in jousting, and Charles was okay but it wasn't his best sport, and then Edward I found out, was my match in it.  I think I jousted Elizabeth II as well.  She's a prickly pear.  Or maybe it was Anne.  Prickly pear one of them.  I think it was Elizabeth II and she didn't want me to know however.  I do not think I jousted Prince Philip but I may be wrong.  It was like, one day someone decided there was to be a royal tournament and they all went undercover with masks (jousting gear) and tested me and then decided on what they thought.  It was sort of a group thing.  I did joust more than once with some of them and some of them liked it more than others (for some, it was just a duty, not a thrill).

Guess who won the horse tournament?  Not me.  I didn't catch the wreath, from what I remember, because this man on a horse next to me with a black garb or helmet or whatever, ran into my horse and prodded mine from the side.  Guess which side?  I've been talking about inducing panic from attacks to one side, in preparation for my "brake failure" "accident" so guess which side he rammed me from?  Of course. The left side.  From what I remember, I would have captured the wreath if he'd not done that and it was my first time at a horse joust.  So then I think it was after that Charles joked about whether I could make a shot correctly into cleavage and I did.  He thought it was funny until  I made it into the Queen's breasts first try.

I guess I'm the designated "black sheep" of the tribe.  Look at what I've been through.  Why couldn't one of them, out of decency, spoken up for me?

So about crystal balls and magic shows.  I remember Prince Charles having a lot of magic tricks.  I love them as a kid, and he showed them all to me.  I tried doing them at home and asked for a magic show kit because of it.  I was given a top hat that produced  a rabbit and disappeared a rabbit, cards, and other trick things.  Charles disappeared a real rabbit, not a toy. He did many other things. My Dad was able to produce the coin from my ear and outside of it and my Mom showed cards so they engaged but the "shows" were at "Buckingham" I guess, in their underground parlor or theatre.  It was sort of nice.  They had one room which had a small stage so they could put on shows for each other.  It wasn't meant to be commercial, that stage, it was more of a cozy private one.  What a great idea to have such a stage for putting on magic shows and plays for each other!  I thought.  It was not a joke.  They were total professionals at it.  So there was this very very good magic, along the lines of televised pros, who get out of chained boxes and everything, and then there was the crystal ball and psychic questioning, which was a different level.

I got killed for it.  I mean, someone went after me for my psychic ability after it was discovered.  It's not like someone put me on LSD and I started hallucinating all over the place and room--I became a verified "psychic" and proved ability and first I was used and questioned. I was consulted, in a sense, as an honest kid, about what I "saw" and then someone wanted to torture the ability out of me.  So they put a metal hat on my head and began electrocution to keep me from remaining psychic.  My mother was involved in ruining my ability.  I was tested and then electrocuted, and then if I still had an ability I was electrocuted; and then I was tested and asked what I saw, and if I still saw anything, I was electrocuted.  It continued until the day I said I couldn't see anything anymore.  Then my mother put the crystal ball away.  It was with the royals at first and then later my mother would use one to test me still but after they killed it out of me and had caused enough brain damage, they tried to tell me none of it ever happened.

They even put me in real, serious "stocks", like for robbers in the Middle Ages, in England I think it was. It was a frame with a place to rest the neck and the head to hang over, and another place for the hands and they made me stay there all day.  I remember my Dad, whoever he was, saw me and cried and everyone else laughed and mocked me, and it was in public, not in a dungeon or in a cellar or house. It was in a village of some kind.  They screamed at me that I was a "witch".  It is very possible this was done inside a fort for MI5 in England or the U.S., but the crystal ball was real and people knew it and my own mother, who is psychic herself, (if she's my mother) tortured me until I was unable to see things anymore.  She herself has the ability.  Why torture me then?  They kept electrocuting me with the box.  Then she'd bring out a crystal ball.  If I saw a thing, I was back to electrocution at Springers house.

With the royals, they were taking out a crystal ball and then asking me, like one would a child psychic, "what do you see?" and they paid attention to what I told them.  One thing I was able to do was read minds.  That was not having to do with crystal balls.  I could have part-conversations with my Mom and know how she responded before she said anything out loud.  So it was a 1/2 spoken, 1/2  thought-and-silent form of communication.  The crystal ball was perhaps an "exercise" in testing what I could visually see or focus on.  What they told me to do was look into this clear crystal ball, the size of a mini bowling ball, maybe 1/2 the size of an official bowling ball, still large! and then look at it and focus and think about the future and ask God or the higher power to show me what I should see.  So mostly I would focus on this ball and looking at it, they'd ask questions.  I would see everything clear like the ball was and then a cloudiness, and then actual shapes and figures taking shape and then I'd see scenes in front of my eyes.  I think it was like engaging '2nd sight' but "focusing it" on an object like a ball instead of just having the scenes appear in front of your eyes without the 'film projector" backdrop.  You know, you can have a projector running and see a movie in front of you or you can pull down a white screen and then focus the projector on that and say what you see.

I had that gift.

All of a sudden, something I told them I saw made someone feel threatened or they were jealous but whatever it was, they began torturing and electrocuting me on a regular basis.  Then I continued to be electrocuted from the time I was a young toddler to young child, until by age 9 I was not able to see anything anymore.  All of the crystal ball stuff was with the royals and then my Mom had one at the house in Moses Lake to test my ability still until it was gone.

I was able to recognize, as a kid, my mother was participating in torturing the psychic ability OUT of me.  I don't know if she worried because every time I saw something someone ELSE ordered I be tortured, or if she decided on her own she wasn't my mother and I was a threat to her "other kid" somewhere, or what, but I knew they were killing me bit by bit.  No one was doing to my Mom and Dad.  Their own psychic gifts were being encouraged and used, but mine were being cruelly tortured out of me.

So I do wonder who my real parents are or if they just defected to some other kid like royals who try to kill their own kid to promote another for religious or political reasons.

Lady Diana used me (asked me what I saw), my Mom did, Carol Middleton knew, and off-hand these are the women I remember right away.  When I say used me, in this sense, I mean, they consulted me to find out what I saw in the crystal ball.  It was almost always at least me and 2 other women, though with my Mom it was just her.  But mostly it was two other women, such as my Mom and Diana.  I think there was a woman who was older as well, maybe Francis Spencer, or another older woman about the same age.  I also think there was one time with several members of the royal family, all around a table.

Later, there was sort of a "joke" séance with some people who made it into a gimmick and clearly fake, with slight shaking of the table and letting me know they were doing this so they made it look like none of it was serious.  But some of it was.

I do remember a few things I saw in the crystal ball.  I remember I thought my Mom was torturing me or electrocuting me later because I saw her trying to kill me and/or torturing me in it.  It scared me and I got so scared I would scream while seeing it and then my Mom and the others didn't like it because I had nightmares and asked my Mom why she was hurting me.  I would usually see different scenes, for example, someone in a town, getting things, and then people talking in a group and their voices and one voice standing out with an opinion, and then it might switch to a snowy day in the winter and seeing children playing in the snow, and then driving, and then all of a sudden, it might be a face saying they're going to kill me, and then scenes of domestic violence, and that kind of thing.  They called me "Claire".  I believe they called me "Claire" because they knew I could see things about the future.

Then later, I was being electrocuted everywhere and even in hospitals and they almost killed me and then they'd restart my heart when it stopped and yelled "CLEAR" before putting the handles on me to jump my heart up again.  Anything good about me or my life was perverted or made to look or sound perverted or to take on another meaning.  "Claire" for being clairvoyant (able to see the future as a natural gift, not a demonic thing) was turned into "Clear!" for medical problems.

These women would all ask me what I saw about their lives and futures, and husbands and children and that kind of thing and then when I started seeing some things that had been hidden from me about my own parents, is when they started electrocuting me.  They didn't want me to see all the things they'd done.

I don't know if they could see the same thing I could see when I looked at it and focused on it.  I didn't always know if it was shown only to me or if some of them could see the same thing.  One time I thought one of them could see the same thing and wanted to shut it down.  I mean, didn't want me or anyone to see more.  They used to ask me what I saw and I said, "It's a movie!" and I used to think sometimes, when I was little, that I was seeing "movies" inside the crystal ball.  I used to almost cry or start to cry because I could see this man's face and he was crying and crying and crying more.  I could see things in them for a long time and even at my house with my Mom and then after many times electrocuting me, she held the ball out and no matter how I tried to focus I saw nothing.  Once it seemed she tried to tell me not to admit what I could see, maybe one of the Dicksie twins or triplets, once.  I think an excuse was being made of mental illness maybe by Alan Springer but since they used my Mom and Dad for themselves, for their psychic insights, and since it was all part of U.S. military base and CIA there was no reason to use "ignorance as an excuse".  No one could justifiably claim they "didn't know" about psychic gifting when the U.S. Army spent a chunk of change on it, and when the CIA was using me for that purpose.  So to claim I was electrocuted and tortured for a good purpose was a lie.

I do remember a few times with cards and a round table and a séance of some kind with royals.

There was one woman connected to the royals who had a table and then a crystal ball and she would have only a few people there and had some kind of a gauzy film over the ball and table.  It wasn't dark in that room, but you had to go into a specific room.

When I bring up what I "saw" in crystal balls, as a kid, it isn't "witchcraft" or "occult".  I say this because as a kid, I wasn't praying to devils or demons or "spirits" or anything like that.  I didn't "study how to be a witch" though I one time found a "Book of Spells" that was very creative and I looked at it, when I was an older kid.  I looked at it because of course, you see a recipe with toads legs and "hair of a feather", 1 whole nutmeg, and "stir with pewter spoon" is going to arouse your curiosity.  To a kid, it's just very imaginative.  But as a young kid, to describe how seeing in a crystal ball was not witchcraft, is like me anyway...Many religions have "prophets". Often, prophets can see into the future, make predictions, and read minds or know plans ahead of time.  The difference between psychics and prophets is psychic usually sounds like 'occult' and prophets makes people think of religious gurus.  As I've explained many times, if I use the word "psychic" I don't mean witchcraft--I mean to describe an extra, super-natural ability to use senses other than the basic ones, which would include being able to read minds, see the future, and have visions (which are a like what you would see in a crystal ball).  So I'm not describing the 'source' of spirituality someone uses, just the ability and I think some people have the ability like a talent, just as some sing well and others don't.  So with a crystal ball, a ball is just a ball.  Whether someone is a prophet or a witch, someone could have visions by focusing on a crystal ball or any other thing, or use nothing at all, and it doesn't make the crystal ball "bad" or use of one bad.  It is sort of just a place to fix ones attention while concentrating.  That is pretty much what they had me do.  Concentrate on the ball and then just think about if you can see anything in the future, or pictures or stories.  So if I did, I could and I would see entire movies sometimes.

I also think I maybe talked to someone from an intelligence camera, like "Skype", because I remember once seeing a man and he was crying and saying he was sending me all these letters and wasn't I getting any of his letters?  So I thought maybe someone recorded a message to play or it was like Skype.  I don't remember if I saw him in the crystal ball that way or if it was another thing. 

In this music video by Taylor Swift, "Keep Your Eyes Open" where this woman sits up when she's on a train, in bed, I once did that when we were on a ship and I saw a nuclear reactor.  It could have been a train, because it had a bed attached or up against the wall, but I think it was maybe a ship because I remember portholes.  It was like underneath.  So I woke up one night with a bolt and said there was a nuclear reactor that was going to explode or something because I saw a nuclear site and I don't know how it was that, but maybe I'd been to one before and knew or I saw the name of it or something.  It turned out to be true but I told someone and they tried to alert people.  I remember it was a big deal at the time, and some people didn't get killed because of what I saw, but then later it was lied about like "No, that never happened" or "We were never on a ship" or "We were never on a train" but at the time, people took it seriously and it was accurate.

That was, of course, before the U.S. decided to start electrocuting me to ruin my abilities and in order to protect prominent officials and royals I had visited and known.  Possibly also to punish people they thought were spying, so they used me as their target of revenge.  The U.S. did that.  The U.S. takes innocent little children and does that and they did it to me and they haven't quit.
Mike Tancer's parents were there when I was branded with a 'forked tongue' at Granny's house, by placing a hot fork on my tongue to burn me and then giving me absinthe.  When I asked Mike what he liked to drink, he smirked and said his favorite drink was absinthe.  I know my mother had an active bank account with Sterling bank at that time.

Mike Tancer was in love with Katie Middleton at the time, or had a crush on her, and his connection to Scotland was through his mother and "Stirlings" there.  Tancer's other connections were Jewish because he is a Jew just like Gary Goldsmith and probably one of my parents (they seemed to work together), connected to Russian interests of a type, and he helped secure a trade deal for Eastern India with cooperation between U.S. military, the old British ties to India, and Jews.   The fact that my mother tried to kill me, in company with his parents, and while admitting to being an intelligence agent, points to the CIA or FBI.  Mossad is a possibility, but the fact that Tancer-Sterlings were there with her makes all of them suspect of being part of the same team.  It also means they were all linked to England as well, or the UK rather (England, Scotland, Ireland, Wales).

While I was in town with Mike once, he thought he saw Katie walking downtown with friends, a woman who looked just like her, and forgot to keep driving.  This is how accurate my memory is:  I had no idea who Katie Middleton was and I'd never seen a photo.  However, because of Mike's reaction to this one woman, I didn't forget her face or figure and later, over 4 years later when I did see a photo, I knew it was the same woman or a look-a-like of her that he his attention was caught by.  It was not hard for me to flip back the pages of the "mental photo album" and find "her" and match her the person I realized he actually knew:  Katie Middleton.  I knew he had a crush on this person and that it was a long-standing interest and everything about his family and how he was raised and what he later did with his access to information in intelligence files and who he gave the information to, proves it.

My Dad's joke was that I cried "Lisa hit me!" and he said what did you do to her?  and I said "I bite her."  So for him, it was funny to suggest I was a bitter and she was heiter.  Soon enough, "Lisa and Torture Co. tried to put several "hits" on me."  I mean Elizabeth, Katie Elizabeth Middleton.  Her mother and my mother exchanged a defibrillator to electrocute me, for one of the instruments of torture.  Their excuse was that I needed it for my "heart condition" and they instead used it for torture.  Carol and Dicksie.  With Joy laundering their money for them and Gary Goldsmith.

The defibrillator was the least torturous of the electric devices my parents and Springers and others used on me, and Middletons.  It delivered the lowest amounts of voltage of all of the 'boxes' and wires and things they used to electrocute me.  My Dad got the defibrillator later, probably as a cover for the worser things, in case I remembered anything at all, they could just say it was a medical purpose.  There were at least 5-6 different methods and "home-electrocution-kit" devices these people used to collectively torture me with, as a little kid, toddler and baby.  Some other things were done in hospitals and "sites", but as for the continual forms of electrocution, I can think of about 5-6 different instruments and boxes or tools used to repeatedly torture me.

Mike Tancer claims to be agnostic or atheistic but he's a Jew by ethnicity.  Just like Josh Gatov.

After jousting with royals, one of the royals, Edward, visited me at my Grandpa Garrett's a few times.  He would come in and talk to me and then leave and my Grandpa never had a problem with it.  When the man who looked and sounded like Prince Philip and Charles came to visit, with the cop Mike, they asked if Edward had been visiting and said they didn't want him around me.  First it was Edward, British one, and then once some American came over who looked like him and said he was Edward and didn't even have an accent and I am pretty sure he took a piece of jewelry from me.  When Edward came to visit, he always had on nice slacks or khakis and a long-sleeved oxford shirt but no tie and usually not a suit jacket.    Edward would tell me "I can't live without you."  I was older then, at least 9-11 or so and I believed him, that he really loved me like he said he did.  He said he had to wait for me and couldn't marry anyone until I grew up.  Then one day the man who didn't have an accent or Edward himself, not sure, told me he didn't love me anymore and wasn't going to see me again and beat me up.  I had a black eye and bruises all over my body and was punched in the stomach and then my Grandpa came to the door.  It was like being a battered wife and I wasn't even married.  I had no idea what was wrong and cried and cried and got depressed because he'd told me so long how important I was to him.  I didn't know what I'd done wrong. 

Other things that happened were once someone, I think Charles, and another man took off in a helicopter but I am not positive who it was.  I think Charles was there.  One man started shooting at me (from inside the helicopter) and then was bringing the helicopter down on top of my head when I ran and there were ditches on either side and I had to run into a ditch  and lie down there so they couldn't sit the helicopter down on top of my head.  If  you were to look down on a map, birds-eye, and the helicopter was at NW with ditches at either side, running at a cross from corner to corner of the screen in parallels, on either side, I went to the lower one, the one further South, to my right.  So this was a situation where there was a ditch to my right side and I was running to it in a panic because of the helicopter on my left side coming down on me.  I was running SE from the NW helicopter and then had to go right.  So in many ways, several things were done to terrify me and if not kill me instantly, organize to create what would look like "the perfect 'accident'".  There is a scene in what I think is a Harrison Ford movie, where he is out in the country and a crop plane dives down and chases him and tries to kill him and he's running from it.  They did that to me, but with either a helicopter or a crop plane, not a jet or small plane or anything. I remember it being a helicopter.

pg. 143  E.H. says the only person whose name he knew was Adolf G. Tolkavchev, who was a military electronics specialist who was arrested, tried, and shot in Russia in 1985.  He says he wasn't even in Moscow until 3 months after his arrest but David Wise questioned him and said he could have been one of his assets.  He says Wise took the Tolkachev ball and ran with it because he never gave him his true mission.

Well, this may sound odd and trivial for me to bring up the crystal balls again at this point, but I was given a crystal ball of my own by people in England I think.  I am not sure which person gave it to me, but they gave me my own one, maybe Charles I think.  It was a real, solid clear quartz, whatever the real ones are made out of, crystal ball and was about the size of a kid's size (toddler size) basketball.  I loved that crystal ball.  I used to take it to my room and had it there and then my Mom put it up or took it saying I shouldn't have it in my room all the time or something and I could ask to have it out and then it disappeared.  I said, "WHERE'S MY CRYSTAL BALL????" and my Mom said, "I don't have a crystal ball."  I mean, someone spent some money or took some care in giving it to me because it was solid and not a fake or plastic or synthetic.

The crystal ball, MY crystal ball, was stolen by Alan and Tammy Springer and it's the only theft of which I'm 100% positive went straight to them.  My brother said he wanted to look at it because Scott Springer wanted to see it and he'd borrow it and bring it back and then never did.  They electrocuted me after this, not before I had the crystal ball.  So the solid clear quartz crystal ball went to the criminal Mormon Springers.  They never returned it and after Springers literally stole it from me, they or someone encouraged my Mom to deny I ever had one, ever.  So supposedly the crystal ball never "existed" but my entire family knew about it, some royals knew, and the Springers stole it from me.  I had it while being tortured by them actually, but after some of the torture, most of the torture, then they stole my crystal ball.  It was their reward to themselves, to steal from a kid after repeatedly electrocuting me.

It was Joe Wilson and Valerie Plame.  I considered Joy and Forrest, because they were there the time before, but Valerie was taller and someone I hadn't met before and I heard their names the entire day.  The mention of Valerie was all day and then later, my Mom denied it and I said, at our house in Moses Lake, "You said her name was Valerie and that's what you called her all day so why did you want to change it?"  I also heard their whole names.  It was Joe and Valerie.

Joy Sterling and Forrest Tancer were definitely involved, but not that day.

I thought about it more this morning when I woke and also remember more electrocution sessions, one where my mother would say "hieter" after each time she electrocuted me.

Also, Robin Bechtold worked to try to cover up the assassination by my own parents of me.  Not only did he actively participate in trying to kill me in 1992, he was involved in trying to create ideas he hoped would cover over who was involved in trying to kill me rock-climbing and specifically dated a prominent lawyer's daughter the Wilsons and Plames knew, in California, to do it.  Her name was "Dana" and she had blond hair and the photos he wanted to show me were of a similar cliff and then views of Dana and Dana's blond hair and back and rear end above him with him below her, as if to try to confuse my memory with blond women rock-climbing. 

Robin Bechtold and his Dad George Bechtold, were CIA or FBI operatives.  I always knew he was getting information from an inside source on how to rape me, exploit me, and he practiced trying to kill me.

Valerie Plame came out and was exposed as being a CIA operative with her husband Joe Wilson, which they have always known is a problem for them with me still alive.  I don't think George Bush Jr. would try to help Scooter Libby and would rather frame him or someone for exposing her, because he or his Dad was one of the individuals giving orders from the White House later, along with the Pentagon, about another assassination attempt of me and George Bush Jr. was interested because I'd been forced to give him oral sex on a plane as a kid.  GB Sr. was head of the CIA at that time.

As soon as I was in the helicopter, after hanging there on the cliff, is when they tried to mix up names of who was who.  All of them knew each other and were in the same business regardless.  I will think back more and try to replay the entire scenarios of the rock-climbing again to be sure, but it was either that I got into the helicopter and my Mom started calling "Joy" "Valerie" and I later asked my Mom "Why were you calling Joy Valerie?"  Or "Why were you trying to call Valerie Joy?".  It was possibly Forrest and Joy Sterling because I remember this part and my Nana Howard did give me a ring with some cues on it.  (My Dad used to love eating Almond Joys and then quit buying them after I was asking why Joy and Valerie were trying to murder me.  You'd have thought it was his favorite candy bar, Almond Joys.  My Mom too).  What I will have to do is replay which men were there because once it was Joe and another time it was Forrest.  Joe Wilson and Valerie Plame and Joy Sterling and Forrest Tancer were all involved in the same thing.  So before I firm up on my answer about whether it was Joy and Forrest or Valerie and Joe I'll have to think about the hiking excursions and then think about the twin towers.  All of them worked together to mix it up and kill me at different times (one couple at the twin towers first time, with the other couple showing up later, and the reverse couple trying to kill me from the cliff the first time).  They were all involved.  They took turns trying to kill me and then mixed each other and their names up when they thought I might notice when I wasn't killed, but they were all involved.  It meant a dual incentive (or more) to murder me and motive to work together even if they didn't like each other, to cover it up.  From what I could tell, they all liked each other.  They were all going to get something for murdering me.  The following couples worked together:  Joy Sterling & Forrest Tancer; Valerie Plame and Joe Wilson; and Mike and Carol Middleton.  All of these couples were involved in trying to murder me, along with my parents.  It's not like one can claim the others tried to frame them because all of them showed up, at different times, for murder of me.  None of them are guilt-free.

Robin Bechtold and my parents also worked together to try to kill me.  That's not including a few British royals and some other persons as well, but these couples worked together a lot, to mask over for each other and accomplish the same purpose.  Others involved in assassination attempts and torture of me before the age of 16 were:

Marty and Rob Fallon
Alan and Tammy Springer
Stephanie Maiers
Pamp and Barbara Maiers
John Sellen

It's not all of them, but a few.

Robin Bechtold knew German as well, and my parents knew German.  When I was electrocuted in the car with my Mom, she would say "hieter!" and then later, inside the house, if I touched the stove and my Mom said, "Don't touch that!  It's hot!" I would confuse "hieter" with "hot-ah!"  So instead of speaking German anymore, when I knew many words in Germans, it was getting mixed up and convoluted into English words like "hot! ah" and then I was at the Japanese dojo of course and the man there made some noise upon striking that sounded like this.  My first language wasn't English.  Until I was maybe 2 or 3, possibly 3 I guess, I heard two languages and one was English but I also heard another European language and knew some words and I believe it was German.  I heard English accents all the time, and I knew some words in French from jousting and food and seeing ballet, and I was taken to some ballet shows on stage--full productions, which is why I wanted to be a ballerina.  When I had to learn English, it was like learning a foreign language to me because at home all I learned was German. I visited another house once where all they spoke was German too, the man and woman, for about a week or 2 weeks.  Then I got back to my house and my Mom kept speaking in German to me during the day and when my Dad got home, it was English.  My Mom spoke more German than my Dad "Robert".  Robert Garrett didn't speak German to me; my Mom did, but he knew some phrases.  This other man who I visited, spoke fluent German to me, along with his wife.  They had a smaller house, sort of an apartment.    I was scared of the woman when the man wasn't there but I don't remember why yet. Something about it, one time, was like out of a horror movie.  She was mean to me because I could tell she didn't want me around.  She didn't like that her husband paid any attention to me so she was mean to me during the day to make me miserable and drive me away and I cried almost all day because of her.  It was probably Mary Cedarleaf.  After a while, I just played in my room by myself all day and if she chased me around, I had to lock myself into a bathroom.  They used to have loud fights in their bedroom--shouting matches.  They would go into their bedroom and just fight and I hated hearing it but sometimes I listened in.  They talked about me and about whether or not to take a new job, where they lived, and things like that.  They fought in English, not German.  The rest of the time they spoke German, from what I remember.  I might be wrong, but she seemed more interested in Latin American things and he was more interested in Europe.  She asked me if I knew Spanish one day in the living room and I said no and she looked bored.  She wasn't ready to have kids if you ask me.  Or if you were a kid, she wasn't interested in you unless you could speak another language, went to a private school, and things like that.  Mostly, she didn't care if I knew German, she wanted to know if I knew Spanish.  She tried talking politics with me one day, serious politics and I had no idea about the names of people she brought up.  I think if I'd known more, I could have possibly had conversations with her but I had no background in politics.  To me, I would have thought she'd be more interested in a Latin American position, and didn't care about Germany or Russia, and he was the one into Germany and Russia, though he still liked Latin America too.  I think that's some of what they fought about.  I think she danced.  Like jazz or ballet or something, because I think I went with her to a dance studio one time.  I think it reinforced my idea that I wanted to dance too so I was always asking to take ballet lessons.  I am pretty sure Carol Middleton went to the dance studio, more than one time.  I remember the duffel bag with the Mary Cedarleaf woman.  Maybe all of this was why they wanted to call me "Scruffy Duffy" for an "Annie" play later.  I think Mary's wasn't scruffy, but Carol Middleton's was.  I remember carrying the bag around everywhere, from the car to her dance studio.  I think there were coloring books and crayons in it for me.  I did feel bad carrying Mary's bag because she acted like I was her haul-donkey.  I think I learned how to stick my nose up in the air from her.  She didn't have a lot of money but she had a lot of attitude.

What made me feel bad, was that after bad experiences with Carol Middleton and carrying her duffle bag around for her or seeing it and bad memories, then I was having to see one where Mary Cedarleaf told me to carry it like I was her valet.  She made me feel like her servant-girl.  I know it hurt my feelings a little because I thought it was obvious that if she'd bring out the duffel bag like that, she knew and was friends with my abuser Carol Middleton.  The realization that Mary Cedarleaf must know Carol Middleton was a very fearful idea to me and sure enough, after that day, when I carried her duffle bag, back in the apartment Mary went after me with a knife, true Carol Middleton form.  Most of my panic, was in simply carrying that "bag".  My hands got sweaty and I was scared, and I thought, "Why is Mary friends with Carol when Carol is a vicious criminal who tortured me?  She wants to scare me?  Why does she want to repeat the same cycle and idea that Carol had when I was her prisoner?  They want to traumatize me?  Why do they know each other?  Why do they hate me?"

There is no way Middletons do not work for the CIA.

The only time I left the house with Mike Middleton, it was to go to his "work", or airport or MI5 or wherever he went.  With Carol, the only time I left the house was to go to the dance studio with her.  There was also some preschool with windows open to the street I went to a few times, and that was it.  I don't remember grocery shopping with her.

I almost want to say one time Carol Middleton met Diana Spencer at the dance studio.  From what I remember, I was tortured with some kind of electrocution and Diana watched.  It was either my Mom and Diana or Carol and Diana and I think it was Carol and Diana because I was younger.  Diana was in the back.

It was exactly like when I was tortured and electrocuted at the karate dojo, with two men in a back room, electrocuting me while Rory had a karate lesson.  But this was before the dojo, around or before age 4, and I believe in England, at a dance studio and they took me to a back dressing room to do it.

One thing that is confusing, is when exactly I first met Diana Spencer.  I went to the studio with 3 different women:  Carol Middleton, Mary Cedarleaf (I believe), and my Mom.  I'm positive Diana was there once and it was the time I was taken to the back to be tortured.  This ends up lumping Diana in with the CIA and others begin looking like CIA as well. 

I'm sure I'm not saying anything MI5 doesn't already know.  I remember two times actually, that Diana Spencer, who I think I'll just call Diana Spencer from now on, rather than Lady Diana (unless it's necessary for an ID purpose) was present and witnessed my being tortured and did not seem upset by it but jubilant.  One time with Carol Middleton, in England, and one time with my Mom (Dicksie) in the U.S. (I think it was U.S.).  I don't remember Diana being with Mary Cedarleaf but that I had an anxious response over the bag because of past torture by Carol. 

With Carol it was electrodes and an electrocution kind of box with a helmet or band over my head, and with my Mom she used the defibrillator my Dad brought home from some place.  So "follow your heart" is sort of a stalking directive against me, more than anything else.

More English royals than not were involved in trying to kill me, of ones I met.  I mean, if I think about it, there were several, not just one or two.  The first time I met Diana Spencer was before she was engaged to Charles. I had already been introduced to the royals and to Charles I think, and then I met a woman named Diana Spencer with Carol Middleton, for a torture fest to my head.  I think it was designed to get rid of me and make me about "as thick as a plank".  I do remember her face and she looked very satisfied about what was happening.  It wasn't another royal.  It was Diana.  As a little girl, I was just always scared and then stunned into submission and quiet awareness of being ruined and being trapped like one paralyzed, unable to assist myself.  I was at their mercy and they had none.  I think her choice of a sapphire ring was symbolic of feeling good about witnessing torture and electrocution to my head when I was a little girl, and feeling like now she was a "made woman" or something.

What it really means is that Katie Middleton is CIA and that's who the English give their taxes to.  Mike worked for the U.S. military and with them, with my own Dad, and Carol worked with CIA and with people who are verified CIA employees.

I always liked to think Diana liked me and I looked up to her in some ways, forgetting some of the things done to me, but in actuality, she may have been killed for spying for the CIA, or, if she is not dead, the only group with a high enough incentive to hide her would be criminals in a factional MI5 and the CIA.  The fact that my mother Dicksie was involved in torturing me with Diana there was possibly a reason my Mom didn't want me to remember it was Diana who got off a helicopter to witness my death at the first tower, where known CIA person Valerie Plame and Joe Wilson were also waiting.  The people who burst into the fire station tower were Carol and Mike Middleton and Carol had bleached her hair from the brunette I knew to blond.  They also tried not to use British accents.  I remember being shocked because there was that woman from my past.  The other couple was Valerie and Joe or Joy and Forrest and I'll think about it more to clarify later.

There IS someone on my side but I'd have no idea who that is.  Because honestly, it is amazing. I remember my Mom looking nervous about torturing me for Diana.  Carol did not look nervous and was not nervous at all.

What this would all mean, if William knows about it, is that he's fine with Katie Middleton because he believes his mother and her CIA friends and Carol were all friends and supported her.  It would mean he is siding with the CIA.  It also proves how the CIA and U.S. would be so gluttoneous as to try so hard to kill me on their own turf.  Someone in English intelligence knows they're rotten.  So they tried to expose Gary Goldsmith and I was slow on the take, because I couldn't remember everything or wasn't trying to.  Diana's involvement with that many officials for the U.S. CIA, along with evidence she tortured me, an American citizen, and attempted to have me assassinated, was not going to go well for England, her sons, or anyone.  The only possibility is that she is in hiding, and no one would have higher motive to hide her than the CIA, or she is dead and was killed partly because of knowledge of her crimes which caught up with her.  If she worked for the CIA, England had been pouring their hearts out to a traitor.  If Diana said, as she did, she'd prefer to be called "Queen of Hearts"--whose heart? Mine?  The one she had my mother defibrillate?  Maybe Diana Spencer wanted my heart medium rare on a plate, served with a sprig of parsley on the side.

Not only would it make her a traitor to her entire country that adored her, but a traitor to the U.S. Constitution and Bill of Rights that protects children from torture and human rights violations.  She would be a traitor to England, a criminal with crimes against U.S. child citizens (terrorist), and in violation of the Geneva Convention and human rights.  All very good reasons to "disappear", fake a death, or be killed by some group that was tired of it.

Because I know of her connection to both Carol Middleton and my mother, and their CIA contacts, this puts Katie Middleton into traitor classification, along with William.  Unless William doesn't know about it.  How many boys or men want to turn against their own parents anyway, and admit they've tortured little kids?  Few.

What's bizarre is that I look like her, like Diana as a kid, sometimes. Either way you look at it, Kate Middleton is either a criminal who works for CIA and traitor to England and was approved by Diana this way, or she is a criminal whose connections Diana double-defected against.  There is no positive light in which to view Katie Middleton--period.  Any attempt is contrary to reason.  At least she declined a normal offer for work in NYC so we can frame the past with the present.  Where is she now and who put her there?  (in other words.)

I would have enjoyed being a lawyer, but which country gave me the chance?  They were too obsessed.  It's possible my mother wasn't as much unhappy that we didn't have the same level of reading minds communication when I was picked up from Grandpa Garrett's, as that I still had too much.  So then she and Alan Springer electrocuted me until I could no longer read minds and wasn't clairvoyant.

They are not "christians".  There is no possible way any of my family members on either side could be called "christians".  It's more like they are all atheists or Mossad agents with a bad grudge and a "christian" cover.  My Dad's story about converting to christianity at age 18 is a crock.  Katie Middleton is exactly the same as they are.  They don't care now, what is said, because they got want they wanted:  a Jew in the "royal" high-chair.  Both a Jew and CIA traitor is pretty good after all those billions went into trying to kill me and torturing me so I wasn't psychic and "special" like them.  Of the persons attempting to kill me, all have ties to either CIA, FBI, or are Jews.  Aside from some of the royals involved, that is who it comes down to.  Goldsmith-Middletons are Jews.  Wilsons are Jews.  Tancer-Sterlings are Jews.  My "parents" who are not really my parents?  Jews.  Stephanie Maiers?  Supposedly was nothing or maybe Mormon but actually, Maiers is also a Jewish name.  Alan and Tammy Springer were supposedly Mormon and I think they were, if they were not Jews.  So basically, the people trying to kill me have been mostly Jews and CIA.  Robin Bechtold doesn't "look" Jewish and yet he did too many things and there were too many give-aways for him to not be a suspect of either being secretly a German-Jew or Italian-Jew, or obviously working with Jews in the CIA.  His girlfriend?  Shara Lerman?  Is a Jew.  She is who he was seriously dating at the time he was colluding to kill me.  His past girlfriend was Stacy Darling, who is possibly cousins to Katie Middleton who is a Jew.  Dana?  Robin's girlfriend from college, from what I gathered, was a Jew.  I highly doubt his current wife is a Jew, but it's possible.  I would think he'd try to throw a curve ball in there after attempting to kill me and colluding with so many Jews.

So this is a LOT of Jewies.  It supposedly puts into perspective things like, well rape by Jew Josh Gatov, stalking of me by Jews, Kyle Flick stealing from me, and Willamette Week's editor-in-chief, a Jew, wanting to have an article of defamation out about me.  It also means when I got hired by Jews their only purpose was to spy on me and keep me under their control.  Of those individuals it would Lisa Thebault (one of her parents is a Jew, which means Philip Thebault and all the kids are Jews), Ken Kargman and MaryLynn (Jews), and then Rabbi and Lorraine Rose (Jew), along with Halea Meyers (Jew), and, if no one noticed, Scott and Laura Rose-Lewis (Jews) who may also be linked to British royals who bear the same last name "Lewis".  Chris Dabney?  He claimed to be Catholic and my opinion is he's a Jew.  No one gets circumsized later in life (as he did) for a non-religious reason and his girlfriend was a major Jew Ho-Bag, and they tried to kill me and conspired to have my baby killed.  The NASA director at the time?  Bolden?  Jew and with close relationships with Israel.  Obama?  His "mentor" as a child was a Jew.  George Bush?  His conflicts are royal ones.  Clinton?  Blinded by a Jew.  Mueller?  Is supposedly "Episcopal" and may be German-Jew.  Christa Schneider?  She and her family claimed to be "born again" christians  but they (or one of the parents) were baptized Catholic and yet they sided with Jews, and the name Schneider is German and also German-Jewish; they worked with Richard and Helen, who are Jews.  Barry, from Heltzberg Diamonds, who falsely accused me of stealing a diamond when the Jews were wanting to create defamation against me, was also a Jew.  Boly & Welch job where I was defamed?  Jews.  Ed and Carla Israel?  Jews.  My temp job right after them where it turned out Josh Rose's girlfriend worked?  People in business with Jews and cops.

The incentive for Catholics to work with them would be only money if it's offered, and protection from lawsuits. 

So before they used Catholic hate or Jewish defamation to create Catholic hate against me, it is a lot of Jewish hate crime against me.  Jews and the CIA and FBI.

How audacious is that?

Believe me.  I know her.  Them. 

There is a horrible selection of photos right now, from the late 80s or early 90s, of the Tancer-Sterlings; Joe Wilson and Valerie Plame; and Mike and Carol Middleton.  Someone should work on that and it will be easier for who knows how many victims to come forward.

I remember Forrest Tancer being a pedophile just by seeing his face and then remembering his hairy forearms.  If I saw better photos of Mike Middleton I might remember some of the different things with which.  I remember Middleton's pants closure more than his hairy arms and Tancer was, literally, a "black forest".  I remember when he made the comment and though I think someone else did later, Tancer was the one who made the joke first from what I remember.  I was so grossed out after being forced to do things for Forrest, that I refused to have "Black Forest cake", feeling sick to my stomach just to think about it.  I wouldn't eat it and wouldn't have it.   So basically, he went after me and then his son went after me, which is possibly how and why Edward Howard ended up dead July 12, 2004, maybe just hearing about it.  Or maybe they sent him some disgusting footage recorded at Mike's house.  I do not remember doing anything to Joe Wilson, specifically, though that's not to say I never did, I just can't remember.  I DO recognize his face and remember him and yes, I knew him and Valerie Plame and their facial features actually changed very little.  Guess what the gross connection is?  She was involved in "yellow cake" deals (with uranium) while I was being grossed out by "black forest" cake.  There were times I remember Forest being very friendly and jovial, but all of them could be, if they wanted to be.  So the cake feature is interesting insofar as that it was a "featured" item for private plane trips and now it is a big theme with James Middleton.  I was the "cake" girl, at least one of the first ones and I don't know how that got started.  I do remember jumping out of one once, as a surprise for someone, when I was a little kid.  It was a real cake, a large one, and I was supposed to jump out of it.  I can't remember how they had me in there, some box I guess, but it happened.  I didn't "see" it happen, I was the "happening".  A lot of these grown women used me for their spying and then got jealous of me, ME, when I was this little kid, over pedophilia and yet they were the ones encouraging and allowing it and turning a blind eye.  I think what they didn't like was that I was not just a pretty little girl, I was highly intelligent, probably a genius, and charming and it was threatening.  I don't remember sympathy or intervention from them, I remember jealousy as if I was the "other woman".  I think several of them worried I might grow up and steal their fortunes from them.  (I still may but not in the way you think)

pg. 143.  Another thing I think about with Tolkachev is how Prince Charles played a ventriloquist for me and then later my Dad did.  The weird thing was, they could seriously "throw their voices" so that the voice sounded as if it came from a different location.  They both had the dolls (a boy) that sat and you pulled the strings behind to make it open it's mouth and threw your voice.  E.H. says it got to be a big joke with the KGB that whenever someone was arrested, it was his fault.  He says they knew the CIA would use him as the whipping boy.  E.H. says he did inquire about who this man was and then the next, he learned of his execution and was told he was an electronics engineer whose specialty was in Soviet radar, a type known as "look down, shoot down". The Soviets knew there was a leak because it was clear Western powers knew too much information.  He says he doesn't know how he was unmasked, but the KGB implied he was used for counter-intelligence (to give false information to the enemy and study how he was being handled) and he thought the informant to be probably Aldrich Ames.

I should add here, as I've done in the past, but just for sizing up correctly... I can't say for sure I was visiting Edward Howard (fluent German) and Mary Cedarleaf one time but it's very possible.  At any rate, one time he was in my room and HE also tried this (or a false person in his shoes...I don't know) idea of maybe I should do favors for him and he should leave Mary or something.  I can't remember ever doing anything for him but he went to my room and we talked, but if I did, and if I was electrocuted later, I don't really remember right now so either it's not true or it is and I don't remember.  I do recall that after she chased me with a knife, and I saw some kind of a bathtub full of blood, He came home and when I said something against Mary I think he hit me, maybe in the stomach.  And then I was going home to my parents.  It is possible he didn't hit me in the stomach and others did, but he had some kind of reaction to it that wasn't good.  I do remember something sort of about blood in a tub but I don't remember why.  I don't remember a person in the tub or outside of it, or my being in it or Mary outside of it, I just sort of remember some kind of blood somewhere like a tub perhaps and then this knife which scared me.  Maybe it was Kool-Aid.  It is possible I had some hemophilia problem but I don't remember and I might be mixing up the tub with her house unjustly when it was Middletons, but I slightly thought it was there at that house.  I don't remember her cutting me either, but I was terrified of her running after me.  It is possible she got to me.  Still, it couldn't be enough to make a whole bathtub bloody so I'm not sure.  I might be correct, however, because later at the Fallons, at Marty and Robs, Dr. Rob Fallon brought in a bunch of bloody pheasant and put them in this overlarge basin to be cleaned, and it is remotely possible it was an idea of some kind to try to erase another memory I had.  I also remember much later I told my Mom I wanted Kool-Aid and she said why and I said I was going to make a jello for my brother to take a bath in and I wanted red.  She refused to give me the jello. She said why and I said it would make it feel nice and squishy.   I was quick to add, "And then you can shower it all off!"  I almost wonder if maybe he was allowed to bathe in gelatin one day, but I don't know and if so it wasn't red!  On a non-blood note, but about pole dancing, I know one of those women pole-danced because I was there and told to try it too.  I wasn't great.  I was a kid, but I wasn't strong enough and you really need a lot of strength to climb poles and swing around on them.

About Tolkachev, and the idea of look down-shoot down methods of radar...I was 100% being targeted by U.S. radar and electronics even as a kid.  It's really horrible to have to say it's true, but it is.  It's horrifying for a child because kids don't have as much experience with their bodies and what feels right, is normal pain, or is abnormal pain.  They haven't lived long enough, usually, to ascertain the different kinds of pain and be able to figure out something is natural or not. I never had any suspicions about radars until I was about 10 or 11.   I wasn't a psychotic kid, and I wasn't a big sci-fi reader either, who would over-imagine things based on ideas I heard.  I knew something was wrong by tangible, felt, "out-of-place" kinds of pangs.  I am sure it was occurring earlier, but I noticed when I was 10 or 11.  This was when I noticed there might be something wrong with my heater, or being close to it, or the red light in the bathroom gave me relief, I hoped as a mimic of my own body heat and throwing off a radar, and I went out to the shed for relief from it.  I know some of it was while I had piano lessons too, which was horrible, and when I tried to practice.  I could practice naturally and it was okay but someone was constantly tampering with my music theory and learning the Every Good Boy Does Fine and George Whatever whatever whatever was another one.  I was getting blasted by something and went from this clear-headed person to DUH...uh...duh..mmm...dum....duh...DUH...uh, how does that go...duh..GBDF?  No, EGBDF?  No GEORGE?  No, Sally Selles Seashells by the!  Can I quit practicing now?!!!"  There wasn't any reason for me to be highest in math and reading and 'suddenly' have a problem with music theory when it's a combination of math and reading and a plain formula.  I'd learned much more complicated formulas than that, so  I couldn't figure out why there was a "problem" when I was at the piano specifically.  If I just sounded out or made up ideas, I wasn't attacked.  If I got out my piano books and tried to practice--attacked.  It was horribly discouraging.  I knew then that there was something occurring to deliberately interfere with the only lessons my parents paid for or would allow:  piano. 

So much for that.  The only thing I had left was my singing voice and it's not based on formula and for whatever reason, someone let me sing.  That was it. I don't think I've described how horrible the piano cop-out was, but it was completely micro-managed by the Pentagon.  Even though I was still a kid, by that time I was old enough to know something was really wrong.  Something was hurting when I tried to practice.  Something was scrambling my mind and confusing me.  Something was shutting down the processing of information.  Like when I tried to read my books in front of my grilled coil heater in my bedroom.  Something was seriously WRONG.

Radar.  Serious anti-competition.  Look down at the keys?  Is she looking down at the piano?  Shoot her.  Now.  Get Out The Map

My only chance at any kind of talent or learned skill at all, was targeted and I am really not joking or making excuses.  My instructor was not very good, that was true, or the materials were too easy, but it was radar and blasting me out of talent.  Later, in just a few lessons with a Korean woman, who didn't like me maybe, I still was able to discover "Wow.  What a difference, and if I'd been able to do this as a kid I could have really done something with piano."  The materials were better, but most importantly, the difference was that I was not being tortured or "radar-ed" while trying to learn my Every Good Boy Does Fine.

This is how bad it was:  I could not remember which lines the letters were on.  For the G clef or the treble clef.  So I could pick Geometry in a snap, and reading of English classic novels early-on, and tried to teach myself to read as a toddler in someone's "fancy room" when I was snubbed at dinner, but I couldn't remember the G and treble clef? and felt sick? queasy?  and had headaches?  all at the piano bench?  and couldn't concentrate or organize my thoughts and keep them organized to be able to commit my learned new knowledge to memory? 
That is what was happening to me.  I never really explained it to anyone because first of all, it sounded like excuses, and then secondly, sounds sort of paranoid, but anyone in intelligence and in electronics could probably pin-point exactly what I'm describing.

So this was done to me every single time I tried to sit on the piano bench at my house, with my lesson books, and learn music theory and practice it.  I tried taking my theory books to a different part of the house once, suspicious something was 'going on'.  So I laid them out across the living room floor and started working through the book with a pencil.  Soon, I was targeted there too.  It didn't matter where I tried to take my book.  So I moved to my bedroom.

BELIEVE me I was not a stupid kid.  Or totally clueless.  Something was seriously wrong.  So I kept moving around and nothing I did changed it.  I was captured and trapped by my own country to be nothing but a pedophilia slave for the U.S. government.  I had nothing.  I had NOTHING.

Do I fucking care if some U.S. "asset" got killed when the U.S. did this to ME? and other kids no doubt?  No.  And YOU should not waste your tears either.  I don't know anything about Adolf, specifically, but I do know something about the Nazi U.S.  That's nothing against "Adolf" specifically either.  For all I know, he was a "good one" trying to make a difference.  I am just saying there are some serious fuckers in electronics that are torturing kids and no one should cry about when they are gone. And again, let me say, I am not against "Adolf!"  I am only using the idea as an example because the mention has triggered my memory about what things were being done to me, as a kid, in my own house, in my own country, in this "United States".

Do you know what my Nana Ruth Howard said to me?  She was the one married to genius pianist Lebius Guy Garrett, who was musical and had such a rare gift of pure pitch, tuned pianos all through the Great Depression, by ear alone, for countless families, to bring happiness and joy to them and their households in dire times, and was able to support TWO families with it.  She said to me, when I told her my work, knowing it was not great work, she said, "Well, it is good honest work.  There is no shame in honest work."


I was getting radared and targeted and recognized it by about age 10 or so.  Maybe I was 9.  Whenever I had my piano lessons, about that age I was cognizant.  Get Out The Map  Get Out The Map  Get Out The Map  Get Out The Map  Get Out The Map  Get Out The Map  Get Out The Map

How come I know Every Good Boy Does Fine and I still can't remember which line it goes on and which key they are?  After 6 months?  Duuuuuhhhhhh...Thick as a ....plank.  plunk.  no plank.  plunk.  plames.  Duuuuhhh...kin I have me sum ice creeeeeem?  Are I lickin' it right? 

(Nod, nod.  (to self.  the little girl gives herself a reassuring 'nod-nod' twice to remind herself she can do it!  yes I can, yes I can...I think I can, I think I can, I think I can!)  Okay, now.  Remember this:  EBERY VOOD BOY DOES FYYYYYNE.) 

Okee ebery bodeeeee.  Ders 5 lines on dee top n' 5 lines on dee bottim.  Okeeee! 
So der es dat eee n' a geee n' a beee n' a deee n' a eff.  Okee every bodeeee.  Ders sum svedish meatbolls vaiting for YOU cookieee munster!

Okeeee Ebery Bodeee!  derk-n-murk-burk-an-burk-burk! DEuuurrrrr!  Durk durk n' murk derk eeee dooo dat!  (fingers tap keys here:  Plunk-plunk.) 

Mom:  "What are doing?" 
Me:  "I'm getting a glass of water." 
Mom:  "What are doing with that?"
Me:  "I'm putting flowers in it Mom."
Mom:  "What for?"'
Me:  "To put on the side of the piano Mom"
(Mom thinks to herself ("Oh.  For the MeMORial.")
Me:  Durkdee-durk-doo-doot.  Murk-n'-burk-n'-boork. Ebery vood burr derrs feeene.
Me:  "MOM!"
Mom:  "What?"
Me:  Where's my hat?

pg. 144. E.H. says if CIA was meeting Tolkachev in 1983 this undoing may have occurred then.  For me, it was about this time, from my 1974 birth to my 1983, 9th year, that I felt "undone" by technology.  What did I have to target?  Just some metal screws in my arm maybe and wiring.

So I used to put a very thin tall vase of flowers on the side bar of the piano.  Sometimes with a doilie under it to protect the wood.  What else was I fit for?  Decoration.  I would at least look at some nice wildflowers while I tried to play the piano under the radar.

pg. 144.  E.H. writes "After General Tihanovitch broke the ice with me about Tolkachev, Igor told me about him.  He told me that Tolkachev was a closet fascist.  Spring Chicken

E.H. says that until the time Igor talked to him he hadn't realized the "A" in A.G. Tolkachev stood for "Adolf".  He hadn't seen his name before and then it clicked--they'd sent the book 'Mein Kampf' to an agent in 1982 or 1983.  Igor added that in 1985 he'd admitted to believing in the superior German race. 

Honestly, if you think about it, there is Jewish facism every bit as much as German facism.  The "I am part of the chosen race" is similar to "I am part of the superior race".  They raped me and called it good.  I can't stand by that.  I can stand by annilation of those who did this to me and most especially, to the editor of the Willamette Week who spread such knowing defamation against me.  God damn him to Hell and ruin!  The same for Jew Amy Roe!  Who acquired this unprecedented protection for what she did and for Basil, her photographer friend who colluded with her.  I hope people start to see them for what they really are:  liars.  No one needs liars for their information.  We go to plays and threatre for lies.  Journalists should have more to offer than that, and they, Amy Roe and Basil, Meeker, and their Jewish not. 

E.H. says he found two interesting things about E.G.T.'s station and it was countless vodka bottles and very much money.  They determined he'd been in it for money more than anything else.

On the Tolkachev information, I know we did not have a copy of "Mein Kampf" in our house.  Nor did we have vodka bottles.  However, when he says a lot of money was lost on the Moscow station, I think if someone was giving him that much money, they must have been getting important information.  Not to say someone can't attempt to extort or blackmail information for less, but I think anyone in electronics and engineering or NASA or Pentagon-style ops, is going to be valuable and also, a real potential target.  If you want to die young, take the job torturing innocent citizens, but know, you are ready to die.

I just looked at this and at his picture. I don't think he was bad, from looking at his photo and it does not seem accurate he was only in it for money.  He was tormented.  I think he did it because something "got to him".  He didn't just do whatever he did for money.

I can't understand this translation but something tells me I recognize this man from somewhere.  What is really strange is that one time, in my life, I spent maybe a day or two with a man whose apartment was full of empty vodka bottles, as they say, and then at another point in my life, someone threw money up in the air and it was for anyone to catch and take.  I was not with family at all.  There was one time I was all alone with a man like this, and his apartment was full of empty vodka bottles and he never did one bad thing to me and only good.  He never laid a hand on me, to touch me as so many men did.  He lived all alone and worked on electronics and I thought he was an extraordinary man.  Can I even tell you how many men wanted to be pedophiles?  Not him.  He was one of very very few who was not a pedophile and did no harm to me.  He only looked at me like I was a source of inspiration to him.  So I may be wrong about all of his work, but what I know is he was not bad to children.

I have no idea how I ended up with him.  It was me and him in this apartment, sort of window and light, and all white all around, and electronics stuff, and bottles everywhere, and if I slept, he let me sleep.  Never touched me.  He looked at me a lot, like, just shock.  I think he liked and admired me.  If it is said he thought the German race was "superior", if he thought I was German, he did admire me as better than some others, but of my own merit and worth, not contrived.  I read, however, he says the U.S. sent him a bunch of books to make him look bad, so Mein Kampf was not, perhaps, his idea.  I remember this man, as one of very few highly intellectual men who did not harm me in his presence at least, who seemed to respect and admire me, and who was stunned by me and for that and what reason I have no idea. 

If this is the same man as Adolf G. Tolkachev, I liked him very very much and thought he was outstanding. If he had something to do with me and the U.S. and/or Russia turned against him, I think they made a very real mistake.  He was not motivated by money alone.  He really had a heart, or, if I am seriously wrong, and he only observed me to see what kind of damage was done to me and how much more could be done, then I am wrong, but that's not how I was introduced to him and knew him.  I don't know where I met him--U.S. or Russia?  I don't know, but I was with him for more than a day.  He let me sleep on a bed to myself, by a window and I don't even know where he slept because it wasn't with me.  Maybe he slept on the floor.  He would watch me, and I didn't know why and seemed nervous or agitated by some kind of proximity, like he couldn't believe I was real.  If he thought I was superior to many the U.S. promoted, he wasn't facist--he was correct.  I was kind to others generally, had some talent, and I was intellectual and my own country was trying to kill me for people who had less talent than I.  So either he was amazed by what I survived and was somehow part of torturing me and kept it hidden from me, or he was amazed to meet someone he had admired from afar and if so, that admiration was returned and respected.

I'm tired of Jews thinking they can rape whomever they want to rape.  And I would also believe if he says he was sent books or propaganda that was to detract what he was really about, this was true.  Why in the world would Russia execute HIM?  It was the U.S. torturing me!  Someone must have really, reeeally, set him up.  My opinion is that if he was on my side, in any way, someone's group worked overtime to set him up to be killed by anyone and the closest and best group that had access to him.  That group that set him up would probably be one that feared me and wanted to promote, of all things, sub-liminals like Kate Middletons.  I am not kidding.    My opinion, given the U.S. hostility torwards me, was that my own parents would betray me and someone like Adolf, for Kate Middleton, a Jew.  My guess would be that Adolf could have been with Russia 100% and "defected" on the appearance only to be misunderstood by Russia as an actual U.S. person when he was really with Russia all along.  The only persons who could defame him and promote him as something else would be people Russia or the U.S. thought hated me.  I think he was set up to be exterminated simply because he was one powerful ally on my side, and if he was on my side, he was probably not on the side of the United Fucking States.

My "opinion" then, as a kid, and now as an adult who can only remember the impressions I had as a kid and position it with what I know now, is that he did NOT think "Katie Middleton" was "the shit".  By that, I mean, he was a highly educated, extremely talented man, with brains and intelligence off the scale, who actually did have a heart as well, and he believed I was superior to Katie and that pissed some intelligence people off.  Especially when, it appears, some group decided this Jew Katie was the "great white hope" for Russia, Europe, and Euroasia or whatever.  I mean, whoever her people were that were in PR (Mossad) were pretty good.  This man, was a singular ally I had who was brains and said, "THIS ONE has something."

Sure.  Then he was executed and upon his professional opinion I was tortured and electrocuted.  Let me put it to you this way: I do not know everything.  I am not a spy.  I do not have access to information or databases.  My brain was fried from even being "psychic" anymore.  I love people.  I would be friends with almost anyone if I knew they weren't going to kill me.  I was aware of my charm when I was very young and mind-readers knew it and women feared me; men disdained me, some of them, for it.  I should not speak about what I do not know.  All I can say is he was possibly set up.  I mean, if I found out the KGB had information that he was only visiting me to see what the results of my being tortured were, and this was his only motive, even if he was very kind, I would understand.  But from what I intuited about him, I believed he had an unusually good heart.  Maybe I'm wrong.  I also remember being told, "This is phenomenol, this man is on your side, a tremendous person and asset" and I didn't know what it meant, but if it was true, it was misfortunate he trusted the United States as having good intentions towards me.

I remember when he was taken away. I don't know why. I  don't know if  I psychically saw it,while I could still see things or what, because I don't ever remember being in Russia, but I remember when they caught him.

God DAMN Kate Middleton. God Damn her children and her life to Hell.  Please someone listen to me.

This country is damned.  If they cannot show, with one example and demonstration, through me and my son, that are just, and do not hold citizens prisoners to their lies, they are not.  They could then claim, as it is for Cameo & Oliver, it is "For All".  They cannot make this claim and by this example they shun the entire nation of it's principles. 

Well.  I was looking for Jules Verne and 1000 Leagues Under the Sea:
Hmmm?  Lessons in French  Ze Monstere de Billy

 I cannot believe they executed Adolf G. Tolkachev.  He was so sensitive.  Why take him out by the neck?  I had so few allies and I had though he was one. ...?  Anyway. more I hope.  God bless those in Russia who do not abuse their children, who are not exploiting them for psychic reasons or torture and give them good care.  God bless you for NOT giving them to the U.S. as well.  God bless every country that does the same.  I hope God blesses you.

As for Adolf G. Tolkachev, at the time I met a man who looks like him, from photos, and meets his description, if it was him, he was very nice. I see E.H. writes he lost his life and possibly his wife.  I never met his wife but he never did anything with me that was of a sexual nature at all.  He more or less thought I was inspirational and "believed" in me, in some way, for some reason.  Of course he would have good assessments because I had already "many" who "believed" in me enough to want to torture me, electrocute me, and murder me!  So his "belief" in me seemed to be on the rarer positive side, and to find out this happened to him is horrible.

So you see, even if I think E.H. is my biological father, I can remember A.G.T. as someone on my side when I met him regardless, and I was told he was tremendous--a tremendous asset to me because of his belief in me.  If Jews wanted to disparage him, of course they'd find propaganda to do it.

I remember more about A.G.T.  The U.S. FBI used me against me.  They forced me to wear a heavy bodysuit for bullet protection and used me as a lure.  I also remember one of the reasons they started electrocuting me and tried to kill me.  A.G.T. gave me suitcases packed with money and that money, which he said was to go to me, was being laundered to Katie Middleton.

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