How I Got Involved With The Catholic Church (I think)

I was not always an "activist". In fact, probably the farthest thing from it. I mean, I did a lot of volunteer work and was very active in church, but if someone did something wrong, I didn't tell anyone about it.

When I was little, I was very religious and prayed often to God. I began reading the Bible when I was 9 years old. In high school I tried to be friendly with everyone no matter who they were, what their "reputation" was, and how they appeared to be by first impressions. I was no angel, but I didn't drink, smoke, party, and I didn't do most of the things a lot of kids do. Part of it was just the way I was raised. I sincerely believed then that if someone drank alcohol, maybe they weren't a real "christian".

I ended up being Homecoming Queen and was proud of the fact that others had responded to me the way I tried to respond to them--with a desire to do something nice for others. I felt a little weird about the crown though, and when I got home I put it in a dresser drawer.

I had a lot of experience with kids, so I decided to be a nanny. I wanted to go to college, but thought maybe somewhere on the East Coast, and that I could take a look around in the meantime. I also considered being an elementary school teacher, and figured more experience with kids was a good thing. I had excellent references, mainly describing witnessed situations of control, patience, and pleasantry. I had no enemies, at least I thought I didn't, then.

I believe my enemies sprang up from involvement with the Catholic church in 1998, but because of things I've discovered since this last November, I question almost everything, and wonder if I unwittingly made enemies connected to the church even before that time, and didn't know it.

At some point, I WOULD like to write a book, taking my time to include funny anecdotes and stories of my experiences, but right now, I just need to get this out because I don't know when the next "Operation Knockout" will strike next. I am afraid I'm suddenly going to be blocked from writing again. So I will be writing like a maniac from now on, until the timeline is out and then I can go back. And, if someone in town wants to know who I really am and what all the fuss has been about, then here it is--my side of the story from my own mouth.

I'm a little sad I'm not going to be crafting clever stories at this point, but I hope there will be time for that, because I do like to make people (including myself) laugh. I'm sure there will be some laughs in my serious telling of my story anyway, as it is so "out-there" and beyond Murphy's Law I sometimes cannot but help to see the humor. Monks! Spies! At any rate, this is the truth, whether I take my time and include funny observations or try to be more to-the-point, I have always been interested in, the Truth.

1993--
So, I went to the East Coast, and worked as a nanny. First for the Thebault's and then a Jewish family (which is where I left off). The Jewish family wasn't so bad. I think I thought parts of it were worse than it really was, in hindsight. For example, they offered to put me on medical insurance but I was upset because they were going to take it out of my salary. I made a bigger deal about it than I should have which I can now see. In general, they were decent people. We were completely different--they were liberal, and yet we had many stimulating conversations. I loved their daughter like my own. It was a little hard on me though, because I was 18 years old and suddenly in a house almost all day with a non-speaking (yet) infant. I still think of her all the time. I went out dancing in New York with the biker nanny Rochelle, but of course I didn't drink. I didn't even know how to dance. I was somewhat backwards in those matters. I dated a lot but didn't get serious with anyone. From the time of high school until I was 24 years old, I kissed only one person: Robin Bechtold. I loved learning about the Jewish culture from my next family. I loved everything about it, especially the food and Passover tradition. Not the food AT the Passover, though, mind you--I can do without geffilte fish. When I left the Jewish family to go back to the West Coast, I missed 2 things: that little girl, and bagels from the Jewish deli, done the "right way", in oil, with the crunchy, shiny, exterior and the doughy middle.

I decided to go back to the West Coast because it felt more appropriate for me then. I really wasn't much of a "night person" at that time in my life, though that's changed. I decided the West Coast was for "day people" and the East Coast was for "night people". Since more of my activities were athletic and outdoorsy, I chose West. I also realized that I was not up to speed on the East Coast. I was slower-moving than most Easterners were used to. When you go East, you understand what the concept of "fast food" is all about. They are fast. One thing I really liked about the East Coast was the driving. People knew how to drive. They zipped in and out but everyone was okay with it. I saw the same thing on a California freeway once, and I prefer driving in the fast lane. It's more fun and you use your brain more. Driving slow puts me to sleep.

1994--
I came back to the West Coast and wanted to go to college but couldn't afford to Full-time, I thought. My family was against loans and made too much money for financial assistance. I didn't know much about scholarships, though I almost had one for cross-country running with Lewis & Clark College until I broke my knee while in my last season of my high school senior year. I was an avid long-distance runner and did well at track too, but it was down the drain after that. I took Advanced Placement classes in high school and college prep, but didn't know the first thing about applications, especially for financial aid, and had no one to guide me through the process. So I decided to take up an apartment with my best friend from high school, close to Portland, Oregon, took a couple of classes, and worked at a local gym. Our first apartment was broken into but nothing was taken, or maybe a stereo was taken? The police officer on the scene said, "Wow...They ransacked your house?! Did they do THIS?" I had to admit it was already like that before, to the horror of my best friend who was a total neat freak and didn't want to be included in the blame for my mess.

The Gym: I ended up on many dates because of the gym exposure. Lots of men. I remember the name of one: Chris Block. I think that was the last name. Too many to remember. One week I went on a date with a different guy each night. I was exhausted. I remember one date with a guy from the gym, hiking. Was it a good time to get know eachother? Not unless you count being slapped in the face with tree branches as he's booking it up the hill as if he's racing in a Triathalon. Afterwards, we swam in the river. Still, no conversation. At the same time, I was steadily "dating" Brian Parker but I didn't call it dating. I didn't really have a grasp on the concept of what dating was about. I thought it was just to get to know people, no strings attached. Brian was just a friend. I went on about 40 dates with him and never even let him hold my hand. Finally he wrote me a note asking if we could be anything more. I thought about it and realized I didn't care about him "that" way.

Then I took a job, still going to community college (which I HATED as the classes were easier than they were in jr. high and the teachers used the podium for their politics) at The Incredible Universe. It was a large electronics store in Wilsonville, Oregon. My family lived in Sherwood, nearby. I worked in the music department. It was completely depressing to organize tapes and CDs all day, but I kept my spirits up and chatted along with Shiloh, Chuck, and Sarah. Sarah and I shared an interest in music and singing and when she found out I sang too, she invited me to sing onstage sometime with her and asked me to be her personal assistant when she went to Nashville with her husband. I didn't even go to see Sarah but Chuck thought she was terrific. I wasn't ready to go to Nashville so I declined the assistant job. She went on to be Sarah Evans, country singer celebrity. What I can say about her, is that she's a good person, and was fun to work with and I'm glad she did it. She and I shared the same ideas about church and our family's oppositions to non-religious music. I still think about Chuck. I had a huge crush on him. He had impeccable taste in music and was only one class away from a degree from Lewis & Clark but it was a speech class and he didn't want to do any public speaking. I used to encourage him to finish but now, thinking back, I think it's great. While I worked in electronics, at the music store, it was connected to a general electronics department, and that's where Mike Nichols worked.