How I Got Involved With The Catholic Church #5 (Is Anyone's Question At This Point, on This Late Night)

I never thought about it before, but I wonder if Mike's Dad, being a lawyer, ever hired P.I.s or something, if he thought it didn't happen the way me and Monica said it did. I wouldn't think so, but I met a lot of people after "The Accident" who didn't add up.

In general, after the accident, I talked to Mike's sister and mother. I tried to visit them once but couldn't take it. I didn't cry at all talking about the situation until it hit me when I was around his family, which reminded me of how it had been right before we left. I had photos of Mike and we gave some to his family, but they said they were going to give me and Monica copies of photos they had taken of us before we went and never did.

I didn't go to the funeral because I was disabled. I did take flowers to his grave several times, and left notes for him there, that I hadn't forgotten him. Whenever I went, I found a beer bottle or two there. I know I went with his sister once and she drank a beer or half of one, in his memory and poured some over his grave.

His father planted a tree where he died, in his memory, and started a guitar scholarship of some sort, also in his memory.

I was told Mike had expressed to them a desire to be with me in a serious way and considered me to be like a fiancee. Of course, all that goes out the window when you're talking to the insurance guy and people are worried about lawsuits.

I didn't get anything, hardly enough to even cover my basic medical bills. I have damages from the accident to this day, and I will need a full reconstructive surgery at some point in the near future. I wish now that I'd hired a lawyer because I'm pretty much screwed and have been screwed ever since, trying to squeeze a couple of narcotic pills from paranoid doctors who actually have doubted I even have had a broken neck, and write my complaints off as "confabulations" ever since. One thing I've had is migraine headaches ever since. I sometimes wish I'd had at least enough money to go to a decent doctor who will treat my migraines and pain the way that actually works for me, instead of making assumptions that I don't really suffer at all and it's all in my head.

I'd like to know...How am I supposed to know when I need a new neck surgery? Will I get choked off of my own airway? Will I go numb in an arm? I can hardly wait.

Monica saw the entire tragedy unfold and she only got enough to cover her medical bills and under $10,000 which she used for a new car. She didn't hire a lawyer either. I ended up with a little bit more than $10,000 which I put into a house as an investment. I was 21 years old when I bought my house and I didn't have a co-signer. It seemed too sick to think about money at ALL during that time, but we should have had lawyers because I know for a fact that Monica suffered emotional traumas after that and wasn't completely the same, and I know that my physical problems were bad and have been bad ever since and could go downhill any day. It scares me now that I'm a mother.

This is part of my story about how I ended up involved with the Catholic church, because most of my life I've been surrounded and never thought twice until I ended up at the monastery. I didn't have anything against members of the Catholic church until several were fed some crazy stories about me which must have inspired them to go Gonzo against me. The worst part is that some of the people got to know me, and knew me well, and planned terrible things for me. That is actually the saddest part which also is why I have known I and my son have been in danger for quite awhile. There are things certain people didn't want others to know about, even other members of the Catholic church. It was easier to turn people against ME than to explain or atone for their own actions.

I have to stop here for tonight. I'm writing off the cuff and it's sure not thrilling me any. I don't consider any of this to be great writing. But I need to get the basics down here and I feel some urgency. I am forcing myself to get it out now, before things get even worse. My prayer is that the right person will actually read all of this, and be able to give me and my son protection.

I'm not a crazy lady. I'm a regular person who has been through some crazy things, and the defamation against me has snowballed into full-blown disinformation. It's morally wrong. I'll be able to show what the motives were when I can get into more of the details. We do not need just "prayers" or advice or therapy or whatever at this point. I will always take prayers but my son and I need a safe solution from someone who is in a position to offer it. I don't expect anyone to understand quite yet. The wrong people understand everything. But the right ones don't yet.